Cheater (pronounced chee-ter)
(1) A
person who cheats.
(2) Specifically, an adulterer (although used in the same sense of infidelity generally, even when neither party is married).
(3) A
device or component used to evade detection of non-compliance with rules or
regulations (such as the (Dieselgate) mechanical and electronic devices used by
Volkswagen and others to cheat emissions testing programmes). As a mechanical device a cheater is thus "a
modifier" and the word is also often used as one.
(4) Slang (in the plural) for eyeglasses or spectacles (archaic).
(5) In
mechanical repair, an improvised breaker bar made from a length of pipe and a
wrench (spanner), used typically to free screws, bolts etc proving difficult to
remove with a ratchet or wrench alone; any device created ad-hoc to perform a
task not using the approved or designated tools.
1300-1350:
From the Middle English cheater from cheat, from cheten, an aphetic variant of acheten
& escheten, from the Old French eschetour,
escheteur & escheoiter, from the
noun; it displaced native Old English beswican. The -er
suffix was from the Middle English –er
& -ere, from the Old English -ere, from the Proto-Germanic -ārijaz, probably borrowed from the Latin
-ārius. The adoption was reinforced by the synonymous
but unrelated Old French –or & -eor (the Anglo-Norman variant was -our), from the Latin -(ā)tor, from the primitive Indo-European
-tōr.
The suffix was added to a person or thing that does an action indicated
by the root verb, thereby forming the agent noun. The noun cheatery is now rare, existing only
in old texts. Escheat refers to the
right of a government to take ownership of estate assets or unclaimed property,
most often when an individual dies without making a will and with no heirs. In common law, the theoretical basis of
escheat was that (1) all property has a recognized owner and (2) if no
claimants to ownership exists or can be identified, ownership reverts to the King
(in modern terms the state). However, in
some circumstances escheat rights can also be granted when assets are held to
be bona vacantia (unclaimed or lost property). The
original sense was of the "royal officer in charge of the king's
escheats," and was a shortened form of escheater,
agent noun from escheat. The meaning “someone dishonest; a dishonest
player at a game” emerged in the 1530s as the Middle English chetour, a variant of eschetour following the example of escheat
+ -er
which evolved in English in the modern form cheater (cheat + -er). Cheater & cheatery are nouns; the noun plural is cheaters.
Cheater
cars are a frequent sight on several social media platforms, posted presumably by
impressed spectators rather than victims or perpetrators. Techniques and artistry vary but there does
seem to be a trend whereby the more expensive the car, the larger and more
lurid will be the lettering. Red, pink
and fuchsia appear the colors of choice (the connotation perhaps "scarlet") except where the automotive canvas is some hue of red; those artists adorn mostly in black or white; the use of upper and lower case characters seems to vary. Like many trends on social media, all may not be what it appears and it's believed some of the "cheater cars" posted are "fake", daubed just as click-bait.
Although the consequence of having violated the the Seventh Commandant, those suffering a "cheatered" care are in a sense "victims" so the following notes are provided as a courtesy to cheaters: If the
philandering cheater is (obviously undeservingly) lucky, they’ll find the attack on
their car has been symbolic rather than destructive in that the paint is water-based. If so, if discovered
soon after application, it may be possible for it to be dissolved and washed
away without having to resort to strong chemicals.
Specialists recommend cleaning the car with just mild, soapy water
(thereby removing anything abrasive) and then soaking microfiber towels in the same
mix. Place a wet towel over the affected
area for 5-10 minutes (obviously more difficult with vertical surfaces so some improvisation may be demanded) and
then gently wipe away the softened paint (do not scrub aggressively because
some grit may be embedded; if possible use water spray from domestic garden
hose). If some time has elapsed and the
paint fully has dried, usually it's safe to use a rubbing alcohol (such as
Isopropyl); this should break down the latex or acrylic binder without harming the
paint beneath. Pour a small quantity of
rubbing alcohol onto a clean microfiber cloth, hold on the paint for a few
seconds and then gently rub with a circular motion. Also potentially effective are the
citrus-based solvents but these must be used with caution because they’re
remarkably strong (left on some plastics, they can melt the surface!) so fluid should be tested on some small, hidden part of the vehicle (such under the hood (bonnet) or beneath carpets). There are also dedicated
clay-based lubricants (they come as conveniently sized bars) that can be “glided”
across dampened paint to lift what’s atop without damaging the paint
below. The clay works on as similar
basis to rubbing compounds and these may be necessary for any “stubborn spots”. If the paint used is
oil-based or something just as “sticky”, an expert should be consulted because
aggressive solvents (industrial paint strippers, acetone, lacquer thinner etc)
quickly can eat through to bare metal or whatever material was used for the
bodywork.
An sinner's Audi: A Trotskyesque death by pick-axe, Burgas, Bulgaria, September 2005. Press reports suggested this attack was a "business matter" but it could have been the work of a S5C-APC. So that’s of paint which is bad enough. However if
one had cheated on a S5C (stage-five clinger, a breed always prone to using paint) who is also APC
(actual psycho-chick), the consequences may be worse and S5C-APC may resort to fire-bombing
car, attacking it with a baseball bat, slashing tyres or leaving a half-dozen
pick-axes buried in the bodywork. That
may sound extreme but the S5C-APC can be exactly that and, after all, cheaters have only themselves to blame and all that can be recommended is following either
(1) the Seventh Commandant (Thou shall not commit adultery) or (2) the unwritten
eleventh (Thou shall not get caught). As a technical point, it's acknowledged that suggesting all cheaters are men and all painters (or axe-wielders) are women is sexual stereotyping may be wrong but probably only to the extent almost all cheaters are men and almost all painters (or axe-wielders) are women.
Hell also hath no fury like a woman cheated upon.
Because it sounds Shakespearian (a construct in literature), the (anyway incorrectly quoted) phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” often is attributed to William Shakespeare (1564–1616). That's thought plausible because it seems to be in "his voice" and in modern use, often about the only time the Middle English “hath” is seen is in some Shakespearian quote so the association sticks. The real author however was Restoration playwright William Congreve (1670–1729) who coined the phrase for his 1697 play The Mourning Bride, the protagonist of which, although becoming a bit unhinged by the cruel path of doomed love, doesn’t resort to leporidaecide (bunny boiling). Congreve’s line, “Heav'n has no rage, like love to hatred turn'd, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorn'd.” was good but actually was a more poetic rendition of a similar but less elegantly expressed version another playwright had used a year earlier. The Mourning Bride is the source also of another fragment for which the bard is often given undeserved credit: “Music has charms to soothe a savage breast” although that’s often bowdlerized as “Music has charms to soothe a savage beast”. Politicians notoriously are liars and cheaters, some even cheerfully admitting it (usually
when safely in their well-provided for retirement) but in the privacy of their
diaries, they're fond of happily (and usually waspishly) admitting it of others. Although he has a deserved reputation for
telling not only lies but big lies, no
one has ever disputed Joseph Goebbels’ (1897–1945; Reich Minister of Propaganda 1933 to 1945) assessment
of a fellow cabinet member, foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop (1893–1946;
Minister of Foreign Affairs 1938-1945) of whom he said “He bought his name,
married his money and cheated his way into power”. Goebbels was a serial adulterer and in his home town was known as "Die Ziege von Berlin" (the goat of Berlin).
Volkswagen: Cheating as a science
Guilty as sin.
Oliver Schmidt (b 1969; inmate number 09786-104 in US Federal, York Township, Michigan. right) received a seven year sentence for his involvement in the Volkswagen diesengate scandal. Herr Schmidt (right) is pictured here receiving a Ward’s “Best Engine” award in 2015. In US$ terms, dieselgate is thus far the most expensive of the many "gates". In falsifying things so its diesel engines appeared to be less polluting than they were (certain particulates emitted at up to 40 times the volumes claimed with some 11 million "cheating" vehicles built) Volkswagen
certainly gave cheating a bad name and, in addition to the hefty fines imposed in the US and EU (European Union (1993)), the multi-national aggregation which evolved from the EEC (European Economic Community), the Zollverein formed in 1957), in May 2022 the company announced an out-of-court settlement of Stg£193
million (US$242 million) with UK regulators, following the Aus$125 million (US$87
million) imposed by the PVA (Federal Court of Australia). To date, Dieselgate has cost the company some
US$34 billion with guilty verdicts handed down in criminal cases including two former Audi executives: head of engine development Wolfgang Hatz (b 1959) and lead diesel engineer Giovanni Pamio (b 1963) who were handed suspended jail sentences of 24 months and 21 months, respectively. Hatz was fined €400,000 (US$437,000) and Pamio €50,000 (US$55,000). All three were guilty as sin so the verdicts were unsurprising. Volkswagen suffered greater consequences for having be "caught cheating" than did Pontiac in 1973 but that was a single vehicle submitted for testing so really was a case of "attempted cheating".
1971 Volkswagen Karmann Cheetah prototype.
Before they
became the industry’s most notorious (although not only) cheats, Volkswagen flirted with the idea of producing a “Cheetah”; designed by Italy’s Italdesign and built by
German coachbuilder Karmann, the Volkswagen Karmann Cheetah first appeared in March
1971 at the Geneva Motor Show. Reflecting
the view there were still developmental possibilities in the company’s long-running
and highly successful platform used first for the Type 1 (Beetle, 1938-2003), the Cheetah was thought a way to wring one last drop from what had begun life in 1938 as an attempt by the Third Reich (1933-1945) to produce a "people's car". Over the decades, the approach had yielded much success with the
Beetle’s underpinnings yielding military applications and utility vehicles as
well as the famous Type 2 (1949-1979, as Microbus, Kombi etc in a wide range of configurations
and the lovely Karmann Ghia (in two series, Type 14: 1955–1974 & Type 34: 1961–1969) coupé and cabriolet. Additionally, conventional (in the then
current European style) coachwork had been used for the Type 3 models (1961-1973), built as two door
sedans, (including a fastback) and station wagons, the market responding well
to more spacious and modern bodies being placed atop the Beetle’s famously reliable
and durable drive-train.
1980 Triumph TR8 (left) and Triumph Bullet design study (circa 1970, right). The "wedge" design language is evident but the lines of the earlier Bullet design study are even closer to those of the Cheetah; the Volkswagen didn't enter production but many wedges appeared in the 1970s & 1980s. Like not a few ventures from the doomed British Leyland (1968-1986), as a successor to the highly regarded TR6 (1968-1976), the Triumph TR7 (1974-1972) should have been a success but corporate and governmental ineptitude saw it added to Leyland's large scrapheap. The TR8 (1977-1982) transformed the TR7's dynamics by use of Rover's 3.5 litre (215 cubic inch) V8 but, as was emblematic of the corporation, just as the concept had been perfected, production ended. There has been much analysis of the UK's motor industry in the 1970s and 1980s and while conditions (internal and external) often were "difficult", most published accounts conclude Leyland "deserved to fail".
The idea of
the Cheetah was a variation on the theme that had produced the Kombi, Karmann Ghia and such: a low-cost roadster suitable for
mass production on existing assembly lines using a 1.6 litre version of the Beetle’s familiar flat-four
engine, the power output of 50 HP judged “adequate” because of the light weight
and slippery aerodynamics. In a sign of
the times, anticipating US regulations, not only were the front and rear
sections designed to accommodate large bumpers but rather than a classic roadster,
from Giorgetto Giugiaro's (b 1938) drawing board came a targa, the modernist
wedge-shape then highly fashionable. Because
it was then anticipated the traditional convertible would in the US be
outlawed, the there was a built-in roll-over bar, integrated into pillars
designed to resemble a roadster’s detachable hardtop and the clever targa mechanism
was the work of Karmann, the soft-top featuring a translucent sunroof panel above
cockpit; it slid down the length of the top's sidebows, tucking neatly between
the seats. However, Volkswagen’s
management were by the late 1960s not disconnected from reality and understood
the days of mass-market machines with air-cooled rear-engines were coming to an
end. Although still a success, the writing
was on the wall for the Beetle and the attempt to translate the concept into
larger, four-door form had failed, the 411 (1968–1972) & 412 (1972–1974) ranges never coming close
to meeting expectations. By 1971, work
was already advanced on what would be the template to carry the company into
the next century (FWD (front wheel drive) with water cooled front-mounted
engines) and that program would by 1974 begin to yield the new generations
(Sirocco, Passat, Golf, Polo etc).
1972 publicity still for Fiat X1/9. Because of the juxtaposition of (1) lime green paint and (2) a model in orange hot-pants, no knowledge of automotive history is required to date this photograph from the 1970s.
But the
Cheetah seemed compelling because there was rear-engined, air-cooled hay to be
made while the sun still shone and the formula (a small, economical, sports car
able to be mass-produced at low cost by using components from high volume models) had long been a staple of the UK’s industry (MG, Triumph and Austin Healy all
booking good profits through big export sales, especially to the lucrative US
market. On paper, the Cheetah thus made
sense and although, (given the 50 HP) the name might have been at least optimistic,
the Karmann Ghia sold well despite never having been a high performance car
despite the glamorous lines (indeed, slightly heavier than a Beetle, acceleration
suffered although the shape added a little to the modest top speed). Anyway, the Triumph Spitfire’s pace hardly
lived up to its illustrious name and the Cheetah was envisaged as something
that would sell to those who valued the Beetle’s virtues (economy of operation,
reliability, resale value) but would be drawn to its avant-garde looks; at a time when the phrase still
could be used, it was a “lady’s car”. As
it was, the decision was taken not to proceed and not long after the debut in Geneva, the Cheetah faded into obscurity although Fiat would in 1972 release
the similar-looking X1/9 using the same concept of parts-sharing although with
contemporary engineering (water cooled, mid-engined, no swing axles) and it was
a success, needing only minimal updates until production ended in 1989. Volkswagen doubtlessly was right not to
proceed with the Cheetah; the historic moment had passed.
Smokey Yunick: Cheating as an art
Smokey Yunick’s 1966 Chevrolet Chevelle (1963-1977) #13 that some alleged was a 7:8 or 15:16 rendition, here aligned against a grid with a stock body.
In simpler, happier times, cheating could be an accepted part of the process and just something of a contest between poacher and
gamekeeper. In the 1960s, NASCAR (National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing) racing
in the US was a battle between scrutineers amending their rule-book as cheating
was detected and teams scanning the same regulations looking for loopholes and anomalies. The past master at this cheating was Henry "Smokey" Yunick (1923–2001), a World War II (1939-1945) bomber pilot whose ever-fertile imagination seemed
never to lack an imaginative venture aimed at securing some advantage while remaining
compliant with the letter of the law (at least according to his
interpretation). His cheats were legion but
probably the most celebrated (and there were some who thought this one legitimate) concerned his interpretation of the term “fuel tank
capacity”. NASCAR's rulebook specified the maximum
quantity of fuel a tank could hold but said nothing about the steel
fuel line running from tank to engine so Mr Yunick replaced the modest ½ inch (12.5 mm) tube with one 11 feet (3.6 m)
long and two inches (50 mm) wide, holding a reputed 5 (US) gallons (19 litres) of
gas (petrol). That was his high-tech
approach. Earlier he’d put an inflated
basketball into an oversized tank before the car was inspected by
scrutineers: when they filled the tank, it would appear to conform to
regulations; these days it’d be called “inflategate”. After passing inspection, Mr Ynuick would deflate
the ball, pull it out and top-up his oversized tank for the
race. Pointing out there was nothing in
the rules about basketballs didn’t help him but did lead to the rule about a
maximum “fuel tank capacity”, hence the later 11 foot-long fuel line.
NASCAR's letter of approval.
Mr Yunick’s
1966 Chevrolet Chevelle was different from the stock models but by the mid
1960s, all NASCAR’s "stock" cars were, the days long gone when what were raced were essentially "stripped-out versions of showroom-stock cars". The
difference certainly was perceptible to the naked eye and an urban legend arose it was a 7:8 (some said 15:16) scale version. The body’s external dimensions were however those
of a stock Chevelle although the body was moved back three inches for better
weight distribution, the floor was raised with the underside smoothed to
improve the aerodynamics, the same reason the bumpers were flush-fitted to the fenders. The first car passed inspection (after making
the modifications decreed by NASCAR) and took pole position at the 1967 Daytona
500. He built another imaginative
Chevelle for the 1968 race but it never made it past inspection. In 1990, Smokey Yunick was inducted into the International Motorsports Hall of Fame, a recognition as richly deserved as it was overdue.
The speedy cheetah
Singer
and dancer Josephine Baker (1906–1975) with Chiquita, her pet cheetah.
A true homophone
of cheater, cheetah (the plural cheetahs) wholly is unrelated. Cheetahs are large cats (Acinonyx jubatus) of
south-western Asia and Africa, resembling a leopard but noted for certain dog-like
characteristics which is why they’re sometimes been trained for hunting game
(deer, antelope etc) and they have even occasionally been fully domesticated as
pets; they're said to be "affectionate and protective but never fully house trained". Dating from the early eighteenth century,
cheetah was from the Hindi चीता (cītā (leopard, panther), from the Sanskrit citraka (leopard) & citrakāya
(tiger) the construct being चित्र (citra) (multicoloured; speckled) + काय
(kāya) (body, thus “beast with a spotted
body”). The Sanskrit citra was akin to the Old High German haitar (bright), the German heiter
and the Old Norse heiðr (bright)
and ultimately was from the primitive Indo-European kit-ro-, from the root skai-
(to shine, gleam, be bright). Kāya ultimately was from the primitive
Indo-European kwei- (to build, make). The now archaic alternative spellings were cheetah
& cheetah and historically, the creatures were known also as the guepard, hunting cat or hunting leopard. Understandably, given their size and
predatory nature, it’s not uncommon for cheetahs to be referred to as “big cats”
but in zoological taxonomy, felinologists restrict the “big cat” classification
to the genus Panthera (lions, tigers, leopards, snow leopards & jaguars)
and one defining feature of the Panthera cats is their ability to roar, made
possible by a specific structure in their larynx. Lacking the anatomical feature, cheetahs can purr,
chirp & hiss but not roar.
A female cheetah at speed.
According to Dr Anne Marie Helmenstine, computer modelling suggests a cheetah should be able (briefly) to attain
a speed of 75 mph (120 km/h) although its hunting technique is to maintain an
average of 40 mph (65 km/h), sprinting to the maximum only when making a
kill. Cheetahs have been verified as attaining 60 mph (96.5 km/h) and if required, the quick cats can go from 0-60
mph in 3 seconds (three strides), putting them in the class of the quickest Lamborghinis,
Ferraris and such but they're sprinters with little endurance, able to sustain top speed for little more than a quarter-mile (400 metres). Like engineering, nature imposes trade-offs and although pronghorn antelopes have been recorded running at a slightly slower 55 mph (88 km/h), they're able to sustain that for around a half-mile (800 metres) although 40 mph (70 km/h) can be maintained for several miles and their "natural cruising speed" of 30 mph is possible for as much as 20 miles (32 km) depending on the terrain and weather conditions. The speed and endurance differentials between cheetahs and antelopes explains why the cat's tactic is to get as close as possible before closing for a kill; if the prey is not caught within 300-400 metres, it'll likely escape although, in the wild, not every encounter is one-on-one; a antelope seeking to outrun one cheetah runs the risk of running into the path of another.
Easily, cheetahs can out-sprint humans, the men’s world record for the 100 metre dash standing a
9.58 seconds, compared with an eleven year-old cheetah (in captivity) clocked at 5.95 and her top speed of 61 mph (98 km/h) remaining the highest
verified. For now, the cats remain quicker than even robots, the record at the 2026 World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing set at 9.39 seconds but while the cheetah probably has reached its evolutionary peak, humanoid robots are still (in evolutionary terms) in an early stage of development so one going quicker then 5.95 may be just a question of whether resources are devoted to the quest; it does seem more likely the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) will direct companies to focus instead on making humanoid robots more "useful" such as for military purposes (neutralizing other machines or killing people). So for now the pace of the cheetah remains impressive but it's still not the fastest creature on the planet. In the ocean, Black Marlin have been clocked at 82 mph (132 km/h) while sailfish can for periods swim at 70 mph 110 km/h. Land and sea creatures are how ever slow compared with birds, the “calculated maximum theoretical speed” of the “ideal Peregrine Falcon” being between 250-388 mph (400-625 km/h) depending on altitude (and thus air density) and while many are sceptical about that, Guinness World Records has accepted the bird’s speed being recorded at 242 mph (389 km/h) in a dive. Despite that, there are ornithologists who doubt such a velocity has been reached and claim a top speed around 150 mph (240 km/h) is likely more realistic. Still, that makes them the fastest known animal in the universe.
The Bill Thomas Cheetah
Cheetah cutaway, published in Sports Car Graphics, November, 1963. Not many front-engined cars had space sufficient to for a usefully-sized
frunk.
A
contemporary of the Shelby American AC Cobra (1962-1967) and very much in the
same vein, the Cheetah (1963-1966) was designed and constructed by
California-based race car builder Bill Thomas (1921-2009). As part of his work as an engineering
consultant, Mr Thomas undertook projects for GM (General Motors), his focus on
the somewhat clandestine motorsport activities of its Chevrolet division and
he parlayed this influence into securing corporate support for the concept
that became the Cheetah. The support
was practical in that it yielded most of the mechanical components needed for a
prototype including a Chevrolet Corvette's 327 cubic inch (5.3 litre) V8 engine, Muncie
four-speed gearbox, independent rear suspension and a miscellany of stuff from
the GM parts bin. It was
obviously the pre-CAD (computer-aided-design) era but Mr Thomas didn’t trouble
himself with drawing boards or blueprints, instead laying out the drive-train
components on the floor of his workshop in what seemed to his practiced eye an ideal
arrangement and, with white chalk, he then sketched on the concrete the outline
of the chassis frame members. At that
point, a draftsman (with tape measure) was brought in and blueprints were
rendered; remarkably, Mr Thomas with great success for decades used this novel
design technique (don't try this at home, it needs a gifted engineer). Once the chassis
dimensions were finalized, a body was designed and it’s important to note the
project was initially envisaged only as a “concept car”, built for the purpose
of impressing GM and thus securing further contracts. So, conceived as something to be admired
rather than used for any serious purpose, it was only as construction
continued Mr Thomas sort of “fell in love” with his creation and decided to use
it in competition, something to which its low weight and prodigious power
should have made it well-suited.
However, the compromises in chassis design which mattered not at all for
a concept car meant some structural rigidity had been sacrificed and that was a
quality essential in race cars; later rectification work would be required. The first two Cheetahs were fabricated in aluminum
(later models used GRP (glass reinforced plastic, better known as fibreglass) and
one was sent to the Chevrolet Engineering Center for testing and evaluation.
The layout
was not so much radical as extreme, the conventional F/R (front engine-rear
drive) approach taken to a kind of logical conclusion with the engine located
so far back the driver’s legs were alongside the block. In the same way the “mid-engine”
configuration was being defined as “engine behind the driver and in front of
the rear axle line”, the Cheetah’s variation was “engine in front of driver and
behind the front axle line”, already familiar in race cars and in a handful of exotic machines but in the early 1960s still. As
well as offering most of the weight-distribution and handling advantages
offered by a mid-engine, the Cheetah’s layout avoided the complication of a
transaxle but the drawbacks included inefficiencies in packaging (ie a cramped
cockpit) and extraordinary heat-soak, the latter a familiar issue in an era when small, low volume coupés were fitted with large displacement US V8
engines, the elegant AC 428 “Fura” (1965-1973) an exemplar of the phenomenon. When the
Cheetah was tested prior to being used on the track, it was found to be prone
to over-heating, largely because the body had been designed to look decorative
and no vents had been installed to extract hot air from under the long hood. That was addressed by the use
of a larger radiator and the addition of various vents & ducts, along with
a full-length belly pan, meaning subsequent versions lacked the visual purity
of the original, the effect not dissimilar to the way the addition of this and
that to provide for heat management meant the production versions of the
Lamborghini Countach (1974-1978) lacked the sleek starkness of the original
prototype, first shown at the 1971 Geneva Motor Show (attracting rather more attention that that other prototype wedge, the Volkswagen Karmann Cheetah). Still, compared with how subsequent versions
of the Countach (1978-1990) would be adorned, the elegance of the
early run 160-odd of the LP400 Periscopios remains compelling.
1964 Cheetah, note the cut-outs and vents, subsequent additions to handle the heat generation. As might be guessed, AC (air conditioning) was not on the option list.
The Cheetah’s
dubious structural rigidity was a result of the original chassis being merely a
quickly-assembled platform on which the striking body could be mounted to be
admired but it was marginal for use even as a road car, let alone one subjected
to the stresses of competition; even before testing it was anticipated
substantial changes would have to be made.
Because so little triangulation had been incorporated in the original
build, the chassis was susceptible flex as the loads imposed by lateral forces increased as high-speed curves were negotiated, meaning the suspension geometry changed,
challenging even skilled drivers accustomed to rigid frames that guaranteed the point at which characteristics became frightening was at least predictable. Additionally,
for the testing, the Cheetah was provided with more power (perhaps not the car's most most obvious need) which exacerbated the
alarming tendencies, including the rear suspension’s trailing arms bending, slighting altering (sometimes while at high speed!) the location of the wheels. Adding gusseting and triangulation to the
frame and redesigning the trailing arms ameliorated the worst of the characteristics
but some vices were inherent in DNA so subsequently, some owners of Cheetahs,
seduced by its many virtues, undertook what was essentially a re-engineering of the
underpinnings; most of the many replicas and "continuation" editions differ significantly from the originals. So it was flawed but it was an age of charismatic, imperfect machines and whatever the
quirks, the Cheetah was powerful, light and clearly aerodynamic for in a straight line, few could match its pace; the name was chosen for a reason.
Unfortunately,
the early 1960s were the end of an era in sports car racing because in addition
to the regulatory body (the FIA (Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (the International Automobile Federation) already on its descent to becoming world sport's dopiest regulatory body) changing the rules for the class for which the Cheetah
was intended so that 1,000 rather than 100 would be required for homologation, in
the top flight, the days of the classic front-engined roadsters and coupes in top-line competition were nearly done and
the future lay with the rear-mid configuration.
Given all that, Chevrolet withdrew its support although small-scale production
continued and some two-dozen were constructed before the last was built in 1965. The survivors are now high-priced
collectables and there have been dozens of replicas although in the
twenty-first century, this cottage industry was stalled by a dispute over
ownership to the intellectual property associated with the design. Predictably, although the Cheetah wasn’t
obviously a car in need of more power, some owners of the replicas have (commendably) concluded exactly that and fitted a variety of engines including big-block V8s while others have added forced aspiration (turbochargers or superchargers). Fundamentally, what this approach meant was
the “handle with care” injunction wisely applied to the original remained; just
more so.
1929 Mercedes-Benz SSK (left) and 1964 Cheetah (right)
The
distinctive lines of the Cheetah, its driver sitting over the rear wheels
behind a long nose, recalled the pre-war roadsters that provided the model for
most of the era’s grand prix cars, the motif lasting into 1960 when (in the unusual circumstances prevailing for Italian Grand Prix at Monza), a Ferrari secured one last
win for the front-engined anachronisms.
The Mercedes-Benz SSKs (W06, 1928-1932) & SSKLs (WS06RS, 1931)
were classic examples and among the last of the road cars able to win top-flight
grand prix events. The red example (above
left) is a 1929 model SSK (one of 33 built) and although the hue is untypical of
the breed, in fashion and on the highways, the interwar (1919-1939) years were more colourful that
the impression left by the volume of monochrome and sepia images making up so much of the photographic record. Interestingly,
although Mercedes-Benz race cars are much associated with white (the racing
color originally allocated to Germany) and silver (adopted by the factory
racing team in the 1930s although in not quite the circumstances once claimed) there
was a precedent for the use of red because that was the paint applied to the Mercedes
Tipo Indy 2.0 used to win the 1924 Targa Florio (setting a race-record time
which would stand for a decade), chosen because of the habit of the Sicilian
crowds to pelt with rocks any car not painted in Italian Racing Red. Not since 1920 had a non-Italian car won so it
was a wise precaution.
1969 Pontiac Grand Prix Model J. The name was opportunistic, the big Pontiac having as much in common with a grand prix as the Volkswagen Karmann Cheetah had with speed.
Such is the
appeal to stylists of the “long nose” that over the years many have ignored the
packaging inefficiencies its use imposes.
It was one of the most commented-upon aspects of the Jaguar E-type
(1961-1974) and probably it’s rare for an analysis of that shape to have been
written without the word “phallic” appearing at least once. Even when the effect is not so exaggerated it
can be effective, the third generation Pontiac Grand Prix (1969-1972) the last
of the memorable designs to emerge from the golden years of GM’s PMD (Pontiac
Motor Division) during the 1960s. Intended
to be evocative of the aspect ratios of machines such as the big Duesenbergs of inter-war years, PMD even purloined the “J” & “SJ” designations although with its apple-green straight-8
engines a Duesenberg really did need a long nose; under the hood of the exclusively
V8-powered Grand Prix, there was much empty space.
Sublime to ridiculous
Modified 1973 Volkswagen 1303 Super Beetle.
Nor was it
just manufacturers with a fondness for the style. In Canada, somebody with the requisite skills
decided the “Cheetah look” was what a 1973 Volkswagen Super Beetle really
needed and while it’s obvious the body extensively has been modified, the
distorted dimensions are deceptive because the (presumably unique) project sits
on an unmodified chassis, the wheelbase unchanged. Unfortunately or not, the opportunity was not
taken to install up front a straight-8 or V16, the car still running the modest,
rear-mounted, 1.6 litre (97 cubic inch) flat-4 fitted by the factory (ie underneath, it's the same specification as the abortive Karmann Cheetah prototype). As well as the curved windscreen, the 1303
featured the 1302’s improved front suspension (an enhancement one tester claimed made it
faster point-to-point than a 1963 Porsche 356), the design of which allowed the
capacity of the frunk to be increased and this one will be more capacious still;
given it’s now a two seater, luggage capacity should be adequate although the front bucket seats have been
replaced with a full-width bench so three adults could be accommodated, BMIs
(body mass index) and a willingness to rub shoulders permitting. Because it’s on the same wheelbase, any increase in weight should be minimal and the handling (anyway improved by the revised
suspension) presumably will be affected (for better or worse) only by the
change in weight distribution. That said, given the thing is now more tail-heavy, the Beetle's inherent tendency to oversteer (somewhat tamed by 1973) might be more apparent but with the power available, even if it behaves something like an early Porsche 930, should a situation drama occur, probably it'll be at a lower speed.
Ridiculous to absurd
1980
Cadillac Eldorado “Valentino” by the unimaginatively named Conversions Incorporated,
a Michigan-based customizing house (left) and 1981 Cadillac Eldorado
"Regal Coach" by Florida's International Coach Works Company, a
selling point the Rolls-Royceish “flying lady” hood ornament, said to make it a “real head turner”
(right). Heads can of course turn for reasons good and bad.
In the
sometimes weird world that was the ecosystem of modified PLCs (personal luxury
coupe) in the US of the 1970s and 1980s, the “long nose” style didn't exist in
isolation. It was one of a number of
design elements part of the “neo-classical” movement that included
also side-exit, flexible exhaust pipes (referencing the often supercharged
pre-war machines (a la the Mercedes-Benz SSK but by the 1970s almost always fake), upright chrome-plated
grills (Rolls-Royce the preferred inspiration), T-roof assemblies (a modern
take on the old sedanca de ville coach-work), fake wire wheels and external spare
tyres, the rear one in a "Continental kit" (a look that to this day refuses to die), the fender-mounted pair taking advantage of the eighteen-odd inches (460
mm) spliced between A-pillar and front wheel. The spares used the space where sometimes sat the
external exhaust pipes so it was a choice to be made by customers although some builders just left the expanse of sheet metal, emphasizing the elongation. For all its foibles, the US is one of the most remarkable nations ever created and, having the the previous quarter century mastered nuclear fission & fusion, produced the Bill Thomas Cheetah and sent a dozen men to walk on the Moon, other Americans turned to doing this to Cadillac Eldorados. It's a cliché to say "American has the best of everything and the worst of everything" but the phrase endures for good reason.
