Mullet

Mullet (pronounced muhl-it)

(1) Any of various teleost food marine or freshwater, usually gray fishes of the family Mugilidae (grey mullet (order Mugiliformes)) or Nullidae (red mullet (order Syngnathiformes)), having a nearly cylindrical body; a goatfish; a sucker, especially of the genus Moxostoma (the redhorses).

(2) A hairstyle in which the hair is short in the front and at the sides of the head, and longer in the back; called also the “hockey player haircut" and the "soccer rocker"; the most extreme form is called the skullet, replacing the earlier hockey hair.

(3) In heraldry, a star-like charge having five or six points unless a greater number is specified, used especially as the cadency (any one of several systems used to distinguish between similar coats of arms belonging to members of the same family) mark of a third son; known also as American star & Scottish star.  The alternative spelling is molet.

(4) In slang (apparently always in the plural), a reference to one’s children (two or more).

(5) In slang, a person who mindlessly follows a fad, trend or leader; a generally dim-witted person.

(6) In dress design, a design based on the hairstyle, built around the concept of things being longer at the back, tapering progressively shorter towards the sides and the front.  The name is modern, variations of the style go back centuries.

1350-1400: The use in heraldry is from the Middle English molet(te), from the Old French molete (rowel of a spur), the construct being mole (millstone (the French meule) + -ette (the diminutive suffix).  The reference to the fish species dates from 1400–50, from the late Middle English molet, mulet & melet, from the Old French mulet (red mullet), from the Medieval Latin muletus, from the Latin muletus & moletus from mullus (red mullet) from the Ancient Greek μύλλος (múllos & mýllos) (a Pontic of fish), which may be related to melos (black) but the link is speculative.

The use to describe the hairstyle is said to date from 1994, thought to be a shortening of the slang mullethead (blockhead, fool, idiot ("mull" used in the sense of "to dull or stupefy")), popularized and possibly coined by US pop-music group the Beastie Boys in their song Mullet Head (1994), acknowledged by the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) as the first use "in print" although the origin use is contested.  Mullethead also was a name used in the mid nineteenth century of a large, flat-headed North American freshwater fish which gained a reputation for stupidity (ie was easily caught).  As a surname, Mullet is attested in both France and England from the late thirteenth century, the French form thought related to the Old French mul (mule), the English from the Middle English molet, melet & mulet (mullet) a metonymic occupational name for a fisherman or seller of these fish although some sources do suggest a link to a nickname derived from mule (a beast with a reputation for (1) an ability to carry a heavy burden and (2) stubbornness).  The now less fashionable Australian slang form "stunned mullet" is used to imply that someone appears "especially or unusually dim-witted".

The "mullet" label casts a wide net: Red mullet (Goatfish) (left) and grey mullet (right).

In ichthyology, fish of the family Mugilidae are distinguished variously by modifiers including black mullet, bright mullet, bully mullet, callifaver mullet, grey mullet, diamond mullet, finger mullet, flathead mullet, hardgut mullet, Lebranche mullet, mangrove mullet, pearl mullet, popeye mullet, red mullet, river mullet, sea mullet, so-iuy mullet & striped mullet.  Mullet is a noun and mullety and mulletlike & mulleted are adjectives (as verbs mulleted and mulleting are non-standard as is the adjective mulletesque).  The noun plural is mullet if applied collectively to two or more species of the fish and mullets for other purposes (such as two or more fish of the same species and the curious use as a (class-associated) slang term parents use to refer to their children if there are two or more although use in the singular isn’t recorded; apparently they can have two (or more) mullets but not one mullet.

The Mullet  

Proto-mullet.

The mullet hairstyle goes back a long way.  The Great Sphinx of Giza is thought to be some four and a half thousand years old but evidence of men & women with hair cut short at the front and sides, long at the back, exists from thousands of years earlier.  It’s assumed by historians the cut would variously have been adopted for functional reasons (warmth for the neck and freedom for obstruction of the eyes & face) although aesthetics has probably always been a feature of the human character so it may also have been a preferred style.  There are many findings in the archaeological record and references to the hair style appear in the histories of many cultures.  In the West, the acceptability of longer cuts for men was one of the social changes of the 1960s and the mullet was one style to again arise; from there it’s never gone away although, as the mullet came to be treated as a class-identifier, use did become more nuanced, some claiming to wear one ironically.  The other sense in which "proto-mullet" is used is of a mulletlike hairstyle which at the back is shorter than the full-fledged mullet (such also once called the "tailgate" or "mudflap"). 

Rime of the Ancient Mullet: Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834).

Opinion remains divided and some schools have gone as far as to ban mullets because of an alleged association with anti-social or disruptive behavior.  At the other end of the spectrum there are are mullet competitions with prizes including trophies and bottles of bourbon whiskey.  It's suspected those who disapprove of the style, if asked to pick the "worst mullet", would likely choose the same contestants winning "best mullet" in their categories.  The competitions seem popular and are widely publicized, although the imagery can be disturbing for those with delicate sensibilities not often exposed to certain sub-cultures.  Such folk are perhaps more familiar with the Romantic poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge but there was a time when he wore a mullet although the portraits which survive suggest his might not have been sufficiently ambitious to win any modern contests.

Emos with variegated tellums: Black & copper (left) and black, magenta, blue & grey (right).

Associated initially with that most reliable of trend-setters, the emo, the tellum (mullet spelled backwards), more helpfully described as the “reverse mullet” is, exactly as suspected, long in front and short at the back.  Definitely a thing exclusively of style because it discards the functionally which presumably was the original rationale for the mullet, emos often combine the look with one or more lurid colors, the more patient sometimes adopting a spiky look which can be enlivened with a different color for each spike.  That’s said to be quite high-maintenance.  The asymmetric tellum can be engineered to provide a dramatic look, concealing much of the face, the power of effect said to be to force the focus onto the one exposed eye.  True obsessives use colored contact lens to match whatever is the primary hue applied to the the hair. 

Martina Navratilova (b 1956) playing a backhand shot.

On a tennis court, a mullet is functional and there are headband users who wrongly have been accused of being mulleteers.  No more monolithic than any others, it’s probably absurd to think of any of the component part of the LGBTQQIAAOP as being a visually identifiable culture but there appears to have been a small lesbian sub-set in the 1980s which adopted the mullet although motives were apparently mixed, varying from (1) chauvinistic assertiveness of the lesbionic, (2) blatant signalling when advertising for a mate to (3) just another haircut.  Despite that, there's little to suggest that in isolation a mullet on a woman tends to be used as a GABOSO (general association based on single observation) to assume she's a lesbian.

Caitlyn Jenner (when identified as Bruce) with mullet at different stages of transition.

It also featured in a recent, celebrated case of gender-fluidity, Bruce Jenner (b 1949) photographed sporting a mullet shortly before beginning his transition to Caitlyn Jenner.  However, the mullet may be unrelated to the change, the photographic record confirming his long-time devotion to the cut and, since transitioning to Caitlyn, it seems to have been retired for styles more overtly traditionally feminine.

A MulletFest entrant in the Junior (14 to 17 Years category).

In Australia, the mullet is much associated with the bogan, one of sociology’s more striking cross-cultural overlaps.  The correlation is of course not 1:1 but while the perception that all mullet-wearers are bogans is probably about right, not all bogans sport a mullet and they’re even credited with at least popularizing the “skull mullet” which takes the “short at the sides” idea down almost to the skin.  At the institutional level, there’s MulletFest which tours the nation conducting “Best Mullet Competitions” at appropriate events (rodeos, agricultural shows, meetings for those displaying hotted-up cars et al) with inclusive categories including five for children (age-based), rangas (redheads), vintage (for the over 50s), grubby (the criteria unclear) and the mysterious “extreme”.  All entrants are “…judged on their haircut, overall presentation and stage presence, and the person with the “Best Mullet of them All” is crowned on the day and takes home that worthy honour.”  Proceeds from MulletFest events are donated to local charities.

The Mullet Skirt

Charles II (1630–1685; King of Scotland 1649-1651, King of Scotland, England and Ireland 1660-1685) an early adopter of the mullet style, in his coronation robes (circa 1661), oil on canvas by John Michael Wright (1617–1694 (left) and two view of Lindsay Lohan, also with much admired legs, following the example of the House of Stuart, Los Angeles, August 2012 (centre & right).  Charles II got more fun out of life than his father (Charles I (1600–1649; King of England, Scotland & Ireland 1625-1649) and possibly more even than Charles III (b 1948; King of the United Kingdom since 2022), the House of Windsor's latest monarch.  Both Charles I & Charles III also rocked the mullet look for their coronations and fashionistas can debate who wore it best.

Sewing pattern for mullet dress (left) and or the catwalk, Miranda Kerr (b 1983, left) demonstrates a pale pink high-low celebrity prom or graduation party dress, Liverpool Fashion Fest Runway, Mexico City, March 2011 (right).

The style of the mullet skirt long pre-dates the use of the name and the same concept used to be called "tail skirt", "train skirt" or "high-low circle skirt" (which in commercial use often appeared as "Hi-Lo skirt"), the terms still often used by those who find the mere mention of mullet distasteful.  The pattern for the fabric cut is deceptively simple but as in any project involving other than straight lines, it can be difficult to execute and the less volume that's desired in the garment, the harder it becomes to produce with precision.  That so many mullet dresses are bulky is probably a stylistic choice but the volume of fabric is handy for obscuring any inconsistencies.

The cheat cut mullet skirt.

Seamstresses do however have a trick which can work to convert an existing skirt into a mullet although again, it does work best if there's a lot of fabric.  Essentially, the trick is to lay the skirt perfectly flat, achieved by aligning the side seams (if there are no side seams, describe two with chalk lines); use a true, hard surface like a hardwood floor or a table to ensure no variations intrude.  Then, draw the cutting line, describing the shape to permit the extent of mulletness desired.  Unless absolutely certain, it's best to cult less, then try on the garment; if it's not enough, re-cut, repeating the process if necessary.  Because a hem will be needed, the cut should allow the loss of a ½ inch (50 mm) of fabric.

January Jones (b 1978 left) wore a blue “sea wave” piece from the Atelier Versace Spring 2010 collection to that year’s Emmy Awards ceremony and it was definitely a mullet.  Emma Stone’s (b 1988, centre left & centre right) sequined dress from Chanel's Fall 2009 haute couture collection, worn at the 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar party, was one of the season’s most admired outfits but it is not a mullet because it resembles one only when viewed at a certain angle; it should be regarded as an interpretation of the “train skirt”.  Caitlin FitzGerald (b 1983, right) appeared at the 2014 Golden Globes award ceremony in an Emilia Wickstead dress which featured an anything but straight hemline but it was not a mullet because the designer's intent was not to seek a "mullet effect"' it was a dress with a "swishy" skirt.  So, conceptually, the mullet dress is something like adding an "integrated cloak" to an outfit and the implications of that mean the result will sit somewhere on a spectrum and as with all mullets, there is a beginning, a middle and an end.  

Banister, Baluster & Balustrade

Banister (pronounced ban-uh-ster)

(1) The handrail on the side of a staircase.

(2) One of the vertical supports of a handrail; a baluster (often in the plural as banisters).

(3) The balustrade of a staircase (usually in the plural as banisters).

(4) To construct a banister.

(5) To act as a banister (only in the literal sense).

1660–1670: Of uncertain origin but thought most likely by dissimilation from the earlier ballester & the seventeenth century barrester, both corruptions of baluster.  As late a 1848 it was listed as “a vulgar term” but by the early twentieth century was an accepted part of the language of architecture and in the building trades. The surname Bannister was unrelated to the use in architecture and entered English from the Anglo-Norman Bannister, from the Old French banastre (basket); it was thus occupational and described a “basket-maker”.  Like many surnames, it also became a locality name.  The verb use in the sense of “to construct a banister” is a metal worker’s or carpenter’s term to describe “fabricating a banister” while the idea of “to act as a banister” is an allusion to some use of static uprights to support something.  There’s is no evidence it has been used figuratively in the way “pillar” or “buttress” are used metaphorically.  Minnie Bannister (voiced by Spike Milligan (1918–2002) & Henry Crun (voiced by Peter Sellers (1925–1980)) were two elderly characters in the BBC’s radio comedy series The Goon Show (1951-1960) which was, by the standards of the time, somewhat anarchic and a precursor to later ventures into surrealist television like Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969-1974).  The gags involving Henry Crun & “Modern Min” Bannister usually involved placing the two into roles wholly improbably for such a decrepit pair.  The spelling bannister (influenced presumably by the surname Bannister) is listed by most dictionaries as an alternative but it seems rare.  Banister is a noun & verb and banistering & banistered are verbs; the noun plural is banisters.

Baluster (pronounced bal-uh-ster)

(1) In architecture, any of a number of closely spaced uprights supporting a railing.

(2) Any of various symmetrical supports, as furniture legs or spindles, tending to swell toward the bottom or top (rare in US use).

1595–1605: From the French baluster, from the Middle French balustre, from the Italian balaustro (pillar shaped like the calyx of the pomegranate flower), from balausta (wild pomegranate flower), ultimately from the Latin balaustium, from the Ancient Greek βαλαύστιον (balaústion), probably from a Semitic language.  Iin Aramaic (the language of Christ), a balatz was “a wild pomegranate flower” and in Classical Syriac ܒܠܳܨܳܐ (blāṣā) was “a pomegranate shoot”.  In Roman architecture, uprights with lyre-like double curves (resembling the swelling form of the half-opened pomegranate flower) were most fashionable.  The spellings ballister & balluster are both (obsolete) while balustre is listed as an alternative (though not used in the US).  Baluster is a noun and balustered & balusterlike are adjectives; the noun plural is balusters.

Balustrade (pronounced bal-uh-streyd)

A railing with supporting balusters.

1635-1645: An unadapted borrowing from the French balustrade, from the Middle French balustre, from the Italian balaustro (pillar shaped like the calyx of the pomegranate flower), from balausta (wild pomegranate flower).  Balustrade is a noun and balustraded & balustrading are verbs; the noun plural is plural balustrades.

Of staircases and such

Lindsay Lohan in glomesh, on staircase.

The terms “banister”, “baluster” & “balustrade” are all used in the language of architecture and design, usually in the context of staircases or railing systems but all refer to different elements.  Banister is now used more loosely than in earlier times.  Mostly, banister refers to the handrail of a staircase, the part one is supposed to hold to stabilize one’s self when ascending or descending (or slide down if one is a child or drunken under-graduate) but it’s also sometimes use of the uprights attached to the rail.  Banister and “handrail” can thus be interchangeable but the former is almost universal in the US while in other parts of the English-speaking world (even Canada, usually a part of the US sphere of linguistic influence), handrail has become common.  Interestingly, one piece of global linguistic standardization seems to be the WH&S (workplace health & safety) signage: It’s always something like “use the handrail when using stairs”, never “use the banister”.

Joe Biden (b 1942; US president since 2021) tripping up (for the second time that assent) while climbing the stairs of Air Force One (despite following the WH&S warning and gripping the handrail).  Since the motor manifestations of his descent into senility have become more obvious, Mr Biden is no longer allowed to use the “big stairs” and is directed to the “baby stairs” in the plane’s nose.  Whether the small, angled brackets (some might call them flanges) which affix the handrail to the structure can be called balusters is debatable but that’s certainly their function.

President Biden should have taken one step at a time.

“Baluster” is the correct technical term for the uprights (the vertical posts or spindles supporting the handrail (a few of which are actually decorative with no structural function).  Whether decorative or structural, balusters are almost always arrayed in a series, either a cluster of identical units or with some variations as an architectural flourish.  In style, balusters can simple or ornate and constructed from just about any materials including wood, metal, stone or composites.  In some cases, balusters and banisters (handrails) will be of the same material and in others they will differ.  Some materials have fallen from favor because of the maintenance factor.  Brass was once widely used but keeping it polished proved a labor intensive business and in the hotels which once dripped with the stuff, there's now much more aluminium and stainless steel visible.

She would blame the (missing) balustrades because there is always someone or something to blame: Crooked Hillary Clinton, slipping (twice) in India, March 2018.

Although often much admired for their intricacy, banisters, balustrades and such are an important safety feature of staircases.  In March 2018, while visiting (for some reason) the Jahaj Maha (Ship Palace) in Mandu, crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013), despite holding the arm of an aide, slipped while descending stone stairs.  Another aide quickly took the other arm to stabilize things and the descent resumed but she slipped again, illustrating the importance of handrails which weren’t so much of a thing in the sixteenth century when the palace was built.  Crooked Hillary might be used (at least when not slipping) as an example of the way Spaniards explain the meaning of the word “enigma”: “Were one to meet her on the stairs, one couldn’t be sure if she was going up, or coming down”.

Components of a staircase.

To an architect, a “balustrade” is the name for the whole apparatus (the handrail (banister) and the balusters assembled), added to which might be as base-rail below (although some balusters are mounted directly to the floor or the tread of the stairs.  So, the balustrade is the collective term for the whole railing system on a staircase, balcony, terrace, walkway, or other structure but a convention (by no means universal) seems to have evolved to use balustrade to describe structures other than those used on staircases (unless they’re outdoors).  A railing separating pedestrians from road traffic or a river would certainly be a balustrade and that might also be the term of choice for the apparatus on the staircase leading from the river.  Once inside however, it’s all banisters and handrails.

A glass "balustrade" is really a type of wall with the top-edge serving as a handrail.

"Glass balustrades" are a favorite of interior decorators and can be applied to both indoor and outdoor use.  In domestic use, there's sometimes some resistance because many people, understandably, associate glass with fragility but the glass used is a specialized tempered safety glass, rated at some 400% the strength of that typically used in windows.  An additional benefit is that other than cleaning, glass is an essentially zero-maintenance material and not susceptible to rot, rust or other forms of corrosion.  Depending on the desired effect, a hybrid approach can also be used in which there's a traditional banister (handrail) and base-rail with a small number of uprights (balusters), a glass panel taking the place of the rest.  This is essentially using the components as a window frame. 

Simile, Metaphor & Analogy

Simile (pronounced sim-uh-lee)

(1) A figure of speech expressing the resemblance of one thing to another of a different category usually introduced by as or like.

(2) An instance of such a figure of speech or a use of words exemplifying it.

1393: From the Middle English simile, from the Latin simile (a like thing; a comparison, likeness, parallel), neuter of similis (like, resembling, of the same kind).  The antonym is dissimile and the plural similes or similia although the latter, the original Latin form, is now so rare its use would probably only confuse.  Apart from its use as a literary device, the word was one most familiar as the source of the “fax” machine, originally the telefacsimile and there was a “radio facsimile” service as early as the 1920s whereby images could be transmitted over long-distance using radio waves, the early adopters newspapers and the military.

The simile is figure of speech in which one thing is explicitly compared to another, usually using “like” or “as”; both things must be mentioned and the comparison directly stated.  For literary effect, the two things compared should be thought so different as to not usually appear in the same sentence and the comparison must directly be stated.  Dr Johnson (Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)) thought a simile “…to be perfect, must both illustrate and ennoble the subject." but many long ago became clichéd and far removed from nobility.

It went through me like an armor-piercing shell.
Slept like a log.
Storm in a tea cup.
Blind as a bat.
Dead as a dodo.
Deaf as a post.

Metaphor (pronounced met-uh-fawr)

(1) A figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance.

(2) Something used, or regarded as being used, to represent something else; emblem; symbol.

1525-1535:  From the Middle French métaphore & the (thirteenth century) Old French metafore from the Latin metaphora, from the Ancient Greek μεταφορά (metaphorá) (a transfer, especially of the sense of one word to a different word; literally "a carrying over”), from μεταφέρω (metaphérō) (I transfer; I apply; I carry over; change, alter; to use a word in a strange sense), the construct being μετά (metá) (with; across; after; over) + φέρω (phérō, pherein) (to carry, bear) from the primitive Indo-European root bher- (to carry; to bear children).  The plural was methaphoris.  In Antiquity, for a writer to be described in Greek as metaphorikos meant they were "apt at metaphors”, a skill highly regarded: “It is a great thing, indeed, to make a proper use of the poetical forms, as also of compounds and strange words. But the greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor. It is the one thing that cannot be learnt from others; and it is also a sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars" (Aristotle (384-322 BC), Poetics (circa 335 BC)).

The words metaphor, simile and analogy are often used interchangeably and, at the margins, there is a bit of overlap, a simile being a type of metaphor but the distinctions exist.  A metaphor is a figure of figure of speech by which a characteristic of one object is assigned to another, different but resembling it or analogous to it; comparison by transference of a descriptive word or phrase.  It’s important to note a metaphor is technically not an element or argument, merely a device to make a point more effective or better understood.  It’s the use of a word or phrase to refer to something other than its literal meaning, invoking an implicit similarity between the thing described and what is denoted by the word or phrase.  It has certain technical uses too such as the recycling or trashcan icons in the graphical user interfaces (GUI) on computer desktops (a metaphor in itself).  The most commonly used derivatives are metaphorically & metaphorical but in literary criticism and the weird world of deconstructionism, there’s the dead metaphor, the extended metaphor, the metaphorical extension, the mysterious conceptual metaphor and the odd references to metaphoricians and their metaphorization.  Within the discipline, the sub-field of categorization is metaphorology, the body of work of those who metaphorize.  

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,--
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Richard II (circa 1594), Act 2 scene 1.

Analogy (pronounced uh-nal-uh-jee)

(1) A similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based:

(2) A similarity or comparability.

(3) In biology, an analogous relationship; a relationship of resemblance or equivalence between two situations, people, or objects, especially when used as a basis for explanation or extrapolation.

(4) In linguistics, the process by which words or phrases are created or re-formed according to existing patterns in the language.

(5) In logic a form of reasoning in which one thing is inferred to be similar to another thing in a certain respect, on the basis of the known similarity between the things in other respects.

(6) In geometry, the proportion or the equality of ratios.

(7) In grammar, the correspondence of a word or phrase with the genius of a language, as learned from the manner in which its words and phrases are ordinarily formed; similarity of derivative or inflectional processes.

1530-1540: From the Old French analogie, from the Latin analogia, from the Ancient Greek ἀναλογία (analogía), (ratio or proportion) the construct being ἀνά (aná) (upon; according to) + λόγος (logos) (ratio; word; speech, reckoning), from the primitive Indo-European root leg- (to collect, to gather (with derivatives meaning “to speak; to pick out words”).  It was originally a term from mathematics given a wider sense by Plato who extended it to logic (which became essentially “an argument from the similarity of things in some ways inferring their similarity in others”.  The meaning “partial agreement, likeness or proportion between things” fates from the 1540s and by the 1580s was common in mathematics; by the early seventeenth century it was in general English use.  The plural is analogies and the derived forms include the adjective analogical and the verbs analogize & analogized.  In critical discourse there’s the “false analogy” and the rare disanalogy.

An analogy is a comparison in which an idea or a thing is compared to another thing that is quite different from it, aiming to explain the idea or thing by comparing it to something that is familiar.  Further to confuse, metaphors and similes are tools used to draw an analogy so an analogy can be more extensive and elaborate than either a simile or a metaphor.

The day is done, and the darkness

Falls from the wings of Night,

As a feather is wafted downward

From an eagle in his flight.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882), The Day Is Done (1844).

“They crowded very close about him, with their hands always on him in a careful, caressing grip, as though all the while feeling him to make sure he was there. It was like men handling a fish which is still alive and may jump back into the water.”

George Orwell (1903-1950), A Hanging (1931).

The Mean Girls mall scene, at the water hole in the jungle clearing where the “animals gather when on heat”.

Similes, metaphors & analogies are used frequently as devices in fiction including in Paramount Production’s Mean Girls (2004) and the similes were quite brutish including “You smell like a baby prostitute”; “She's like a Martian”; & “Your face smells like peppermint”.  The metaphors were obvious (this was a teen comedy) but worked well.  The “Plastics” implied the notion of things artificial, superficial, and shiny on the outside but hollow inside while “Social Suicide” would to the audience have been more familiar still.  The idea of the “Queen Bee” (a metaphorical position of one individual as the centre of the hive (school) around which all dynamics and activities revolve) was one of several zoological references.  The idea of it being “…like a jungle in here” was a variation of the familiar metaphorical device of comparing modern urban environments (the “concrete jungle” the best known) with a jungle and in Mean Girls stylized depictions of wild animals do appear, the school’s mascot a lion, a link to the protagonist having come from the African savanna.  There was also the use of a malapropism in the analogy “It's like I have ESPN or something”, the novelty being it used an incorrect abbreviation rather than a word.  The Mean Girls script is not the place to search for literary subtleties.

Of Pluto

The New Zealand physicist Lord Rutherford (1871-1937), who first split the atom (1932), explained its structure by drawing an analogy with our solar system.  Rutherford always regarded physics as the “only true, pure science” while other disciplines were just expressions of the properties or applications of the theories of physics.  In 1908, he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry “…for his investigations into the disintegration of the elements, and the chemistry of radioactive substances.”  It was said he was amused by the joke.

This image includes Pluto as a planet.  Historically, the Galileian satellites of Jupiter were initially called satellite planets but were later reclassified along with the Moon.  The first observed asteroids were also considered planets, but were reclassified when became apparent how many there were, crossing each other's orbits, in a zone where only a single planet had been expected.   Pluto was found where an outer planet had been expected but doubts were soon raised about its status because (1) it was found to cross Neptune's orbit and (2) was much smaller than had been the expectation.  The debate about the status of Pluto went on for decades after its discovery in 1930 and the pro-planet faction may have become complacent, thinking that because Pluto had always been a planet, it would forever be thus but, after seventy-six years in the textbooks as a planet, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in 2006 voted to re-classify Pluto as a dwarf planet on the basis that the icy orb failed to meet a set of criteria which the IAU claimed had for decades been accepted science.

To be a planet, the IAU noted, the body must (1) orbit a star, (2) be sufficiently massive to it pull itself into a sphere under its own gravity and (3), “clear its neighbourhood” of debris and other celestial bodies, proving it has gravitational dominance (cosmic hegemony in its sphere of influence by political analogy) in its little bit of the solar system.  Pluto fails the third test.  Because it orbits in the Kuiper Belt (a massive ring of asteroids and planetoids that stretches beyond the orbit of Neptune), Pluto is surrounded by thousands of other celestial bodies and chunks of debris, each exerting its own gravity.  Pluto is thus not the gravitationally dominant object in its neighborhood and therefore, not a planet and but a dwarf (a sort of better class of asteroid).  The IAU’s action had been prompted by the discovery in the Kuiper Belt of a body larger than Pluto yet still not meeting the criteria for planethood.  Feeling the need to draw a line in the sky, the IAU dumped Pluto.

However #plutoisaplanet is a thing and Pluto’s supporters have a website, arguing that while it’s universally accepted a planet should be spherical and orbit the Sun, the “clearing the neighbourhood” rule is arbitrary, having appeared only in a single paper published in 1801.  The history is certainly muddied, Galileo having described the moons of Jupiter as planets and there are plenty of other more recent precedents to suggest the definitional consensus has bounced around a bit and there are even extremists really to accept the implications of loosening the rules such as the moons of Earth, Jupiter and Saturn becoming planets.  Most however just want Pluto restored.

The most compelling argument however is that the IAU are a bunch of humorless cosmological clerks, something like the Vogons (“…not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous.”) in Douglas Adams’ (1952–2001) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and that Pluto should be restored to planethood because of the romance of the tale.  Although lacking the lovely rings of Saturn (a feature shared on a smaller scale by Jupiter, Uranus & Neptune), Pluto is the most charming of all because it’s so far away; desolate, lonely and cold, it's the solar system’s emo.  If for no other reason, it should be a planet in tribute to the scientists who, for decades during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, calculated possible positions and hunted for the elusive orb.  In an example of Donald Rumsfeld's (1932–2021; US secretary of defense 1975-1977 & 2001-2006) “unknown knowns”, the proof was actually obtained as early as 1915 but it wasn’t until 1930 that was realized.  In an indication of just how far away Pluto lies, since the 1840s when equations based on Newtonian mechanics were first used to predict the position of the then “undiscovered” planet, it has yet to complete even one orbit of the Sun, one Plutonian year being 247.68 years long.

Coup

Coup (pronounced koo)

(1) A highly successful, unexpected stroke, act, or move; a clever action or accomplishment; a brilliant and successful stroke or action

(2) As count coup, a brave or reckless deed performed in battle by a single warrior, as touching or striking an enemy warrior without sustaining injury oneself (believed specific to the Plains Indians of North America); a blow against an enemy delivered in a way that shows bravery.

(3) A short form for coup d'état, used (1) literally, in the context of a political takeover or overthrow (a putsch) and, (2) by extension, in business, sport, academia etc.

(4) A rubbish tip.

(5) In Scots, to barter; traffic; deal

(6) As (the unrelated) chicken coop (pronounced koop), a construction made up of an outdoor area, a roosting box, a roosting box support, a nesting box, and a garden above the outdoor area.

(7) In roulette, a single roll of the wheel.

(8) In the French card game rouge et noir, a deal.

(9) In the card-game bridge, one of various named strategies employed by the declarer to win more tricks (such as the Bath coup & Vienna coup).

(10) In billiards, the direct pocketing of the cue-ball, which is a foul stroke.

(11) To perform a coup; to recount or relate the coups one has performed.

1350–1400: From the Middle English coupe (to pay for), from the Old Norse kaupa (to buy, barter) and cognate with the Old English cēapian and the German kaufen.  The use in the modern sense of “blow; strike against” emerged in the 1640s and was from the French coup (literally “blow, stroke”) from the twelfth century Old French colp (a blow, strike), from the Medieval Latin colpus, from the Latin colaphus (blow with the fist; a cuff, box on the ear), from the Greek kólaphos (a blow, buffet, punch, slap) of uncertain origin.  In Modern French the word is regarded as a “workhorse”, used variously to describe physical blows from “a pat on the back” to “a serious assault”, gunshots, sudden, dramatic weather events such as claps of thunder or gusts of wind and moves in games including cards & chess.  Depending on the context, the synonyms include action, plot, revolt, revolution, overthrow, stratagem, accomplishment, upset, stroke, exploit, stunt & deed.  Coup, coupist & coupism are nouns; the plural is coups (pronounced kooz (or koo in French)).

A coup de grâce is a “mercy killing”, a final blow or shot delivered to kill a wounded person or animal, the rationale being it "puts them out of their misery".  Some have been notable: When it became clear to the coup plotters that Unternehmen Walküre (Operation Valkyrie, the 20 July 1944 attempt to overthrow Nazi rule, the success of which was predicated on the assassination of Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) had failed, a number of the plotters decided to anticipate the inevitable by committed suicide.  Most succeeded but Colonel General Ludwig Beck (1880–1944), pencilled in as head of state in the provisional government, given permission by his captor to take his own life, shot himself in the head (twice according some accounts) but managed only to wound himself.  That might sound like an indictment of the marksmanship in the senior ranks of the Wehrmacht but it transpires not to be unknown in suicide attempts, especially when the weapon is a small calibre pistol loaded with the steel-jacketed bullets used by the military.  An army sergeant delivered Beck the coup de grâce with a single shot.

The meaning “a sudden decisive act” was first used in 1852 as clipping of coup d'etat.  The linguistic gift was the consequence of the coup d'état of 2 December 1851, staged by Charles-Louis Napoléon Bonaparte (1808–1873; first president of France (1848-1852) and (as the Emperor Napoleon III) the last monarch (1852-1870)).  In the narrow technical sense, political scientists often list the event as a “self coup” because he was at the time serving as President of France (the Second Republic) and the appropriately-named Operation Rubicon was a way to ensure his continuation in office, the president, under the constitution, compelled to relinquish office in 1852.  Charles-Louis was a nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte (1769–1821; leader of the French Republic 1799-1804 & Emperor of the French from 1804-1814 & 1815) who would become known as Napoleon I.  Just to emphasize the imperial connection, the coup was timed to coincide with the anniversary of Napoleon I's victory at the Battle Austerlitz (2 December 1805, the so-called “Battle of the Three Emperors”), one of the great set-piece engagements of the Napoleonic Wars (1803-1815).

Emperor Donald I in his coronation robes, post coup d'etat (digitally altered image).

The sense of history was real but the motive was more Machiavellian.  Le President liked being head of state, was frustrated his agenda had yet to be implemented and the coup took the course familiar in dozens since, dissolving the parliament & vesting the office of president with the power to rule by decree.  Giving a lesson which would be well-learned by later dictators, within days of the coup the president had conducted a constitutional referendum which (carefully counted) approved his actions and by 14 January 1852 a new constitution had been promulgated (replacing the document of 4 November 1848 which had been the founding text of the Second Republic).  However, even enhanced powers (strengthened still further over the next few months) proved insufficient and, with the concurrence of the Sénat (the unelected upper chamber of the national assembly) and another referendum (one in which who counted the votes was of more importance than who voted), on 2 December 1852, Bonaparte proclaimed himself “Emperor of the French” as Napoleon III.  In the French monarchical tradition, he now thought he had a job for life.  Things didn’t quite work out that way but he was for a while a real emperor which is something few presidents get to be.  When he turns off the light at night, it may be that Donald Trump’s (b 1946; US president 2017-2021) early-morning thoughts turn not to memories of Stormy Daniels (the stage name of Stephanie Gregory, b 1979 with whom nothing ever happened) but to Napoleon III.  Were he to follow the business model of 1852, he could be crowned Donald I.

The coup d'état (pronounced koo dey-tahz or ku-deta (French)) is the sudden, unlawful (although this is often retrospectively “fixed”) often violent, decisive action in politics, especially one resulting in a change of government illegally or by force.  In French, unlike English, the word État (sovereign political entity) is capitalized.  As a political tactic, coup d'état has existed probably since the first forms of government emerged but the phrase is recent, apparently unknown in English prior to 1802 when, finding no better phrase in English to convey the idea, the French form was adopted.  Neither coup d'état nor putsch have ever been defined in international law and tend to be used interchangeably, any variation in use tending to occur according to the linguistic traditions of the country in which the event happens rather than any differences in practice.  Technically, both are any sudden, decisive political act but are usually used to describe an attempt, successful or not, to overthrow a government or leader.  In contrast to a revolution, a coup d'état (sometimes truncated to coup) or putsch, does not involve a mass uprising, being instead usually an action where a small group arrests, executes or in some way disposes of incumbent leaders, seizing the institutions of the state and proclaims themselves in power.  That’s the essence of the coup d'état, it’s the takeover of the state, usually by one or more of the constituent institutions of the state.  Debate continues about whether Nacht der langen Messer ((Night of the Long Knives, also called Unternehmen Kolbri (Operation Hummingbird), the bloody purge between 30 June-2 July 1934, when the Nazi regime carried out a number of extrajudicial executions, ostensibly to crush what was referred to as “the Röhm Putsch”) should be called a “pre-emptive” or “preventative” strike.  All the evidence suggests there was no likelihood of a coup in the immediate future but that it wasn’t something which could in the future be thought impossible.  Most settle on “preventative”.

Nice day for a coup d'état.  Air Marshal Perence Shiri (1955-2020, left) and the late Robert Mugabe (1924–2019; prime minister of Zimbabwe 1980-1987, president 1987-2017, right).

Occasionally, there’s the curious case of the military coup where both the soldiers and the deposed deny it was any such thing.  In 2017 the Zimbabwe Army’s high command engineered the “retirement” of Robert Mugabe and most unusually, it was greeted with almost universal local and international approval, despite a consensus that military overthrows are pretty bad form and not to be encouraged.  This was a special case, everyone preferring to welcome the outcome and not dwell too long on the process.  As military coups go, it wasn’t too bad and to smooth the process, Mr Mugabe’s was granted a “severance package” along the lines of that Mr Putin offered to some annoying types: “We know what you’ve stolen over the years but you stole it fair and square so you can keep it but you have to go away and keep quiet.”  Despite the generosity of that, within a few months he was complaining he’d been the “victim of a coup d'état.”

Coups d'état (coup d'états the alternative plural in English) also attract modifiers.  A “colonels' coup” is a military coup in which the dominant players are not from the most senior ranks (ie not the Generals or Admirals).  The classic example was the Greek coup of 21 April 1967 which was staged by literally a number of colonels, the resulting right-wing military dictatorship often dubbed the “Regime of the Colonels”.  In 1973, the generals got their revenge, overthrowing the colonels and in the jargon of political science, a “generals’ coup” is one considered to have been instigated by the military establishment rather than a faction meaning a coup led by only a couple of generals is not a “generals’ coup” but a “military coup” which happens to have been staged by generals.  Political scientists enjoy distinctions like this and they really like “soft-coup” which describes an overthrow which is essentially administrative.  The political demise of both Margaret Thatcher (1925–2013; UK prime-minister 1979-1990) and Jim Bolger (b 1935; prime-minister of New Zealand 1990-1997) were achieved by way of soft-coup, a pack of colleagues assembled to tell the leader they “no longer have the numbers”.  The number of failed soft-coups is legion but, when the first fails, the second often succeeds.  The soft-coup is also a favorite of conspiracy theorists who see in all that is wrong in the world the hand of the “deep state” (or else the Freemasons, the Jews, the Jesuits or the Secret Society of the Les Clefs d’Or).  They're probably right about the Freemasons.

Lindsay Lohan never forgave Hosni Mubarak (1928–2020; president of Egypt 1981-2011) for shouting at Bill Clinton (b 1946; US president 1993-2001).  When told in 2011 he’d fallen from power as one of the victims of the Arab Spring, she responded: “Cool.”  When told it was brought about by a military coup she replied: “Gross!”  Lindsay Lohan doesn’t approve of Coups d'état and believes in due constitutional process.   

A “palace coup” is one staged by those who were already part of the group in power (the word “palace” is thus used here as a synecdoche and there’s not necessarily a physical palace involved).  It’s really the ultimate factional power-play and often used of the (figurative) back-stabbing which tended to be the culmination of the low skulduggery which is a feature of modern democratic politics.  The “self-coup” (also called the auto-coup) is better thought of as a power-grab and involves someone lawfully in power seizing (by non-constitutional or by some means of dubious lawfulness) power from other branches or institutions of government.  Typically, this will involve dissolving legislatures or removing judges.  There are also “failed coups” which often are notable for the bloody (sometimes literal, sometimes figurative depending on where it happens) aftermath, revenge visited upon the plotters (and sometimes their friends, family and other “usual suspects”).  Done properly, the vengeance should be short and sharp (though not necessarily with a low-body count).  In that it differs from a successful coup because in those the settling of scores and elimination of enemies (real and imagined) can drag on from weeks, or in extreme cases, such as the 1973 military coup in Chile, years.

A coup d'essai (literally “stroke of trial”) is a first attempt at something.  A coup de force (literally “stroke of force”) is a sudden violent action.  A coup de foudre (literally “stroke of lightning” is a sudden unforeseen event, the most attractive use of which is the peoetic “love at first sight”).  A coup de glotte (a glottal stop) is a term from phonetics which describes a plosive sound articulated with the glottis (the opening between the true vocal cords which is located in the larynx and affects voice modulation through expansion or contraction).  A coup de main ( literally “stroke of hand”  is a military term meaning “surprise attack” but is sometimes used in other contexts; if successfully executed, it could be said to be a coup de maître (a master stroke).  A coup de poing (literally “stroke of fist”) is persuasion by means of violence (sometimes used loosely of coercion or implied violence); in archaeology it describes a hatchet or hand-axe.  A coup de soleil is an attack of sun-stroke.  A coup de theatre is (1) a sudden or unexpected event in a play (the work either of the author, director or performer) or (2) a theatrical trick, twist or gesture staged for dramatic effect.  A Coup de vent (literally “stroke of wind”) is a whirlwind or other gust of unusual strength.  A coup d'œil (literally “stroke of eye”) is “a comprehensive glance; a general view” which in military use refers to a “rapidly sizing up of a position and estimating its strategic advantages and drawbacks”.