Dysphemism

Dysphemism (pronounced dis-fuh-miz-uhm)

(1) The substitution of a harsh, disparaging, unpleasant or offensive word or phrase expression for something dignified, innocuous or neutral (ie the opposite of “euphemism”).

(2) A word or phrase so substituted (eg “shrink” for psychiatrist; “cancer stick” for cigarette; “ambulance chaser” for lawyer etc).

1873: The construct was dys- + (eu)phemism.  The Greek dysphemia meant “ill language, words of ill omen”, deconstructed simply as dys- (bad, abnormal, difficult) + phēmē (speech, voice, utterance, a speaking).  The dys- prefix was from New Latin dys- (used to convey the idea of being difficult, impaired, abnormal, or bad), from the Ancient Greek δυσ- (dus-) (hard, difficult, bad), from the Proto-Hellenic dus-.   It was cognate to the Proto-Germanic tuz- (hard, difficult, wrong, bad (ie the English "tore") and the Proto-Iranian duš- (bad).  Understandably, confusion with the separately derived prefix dis- is not uncommon.  The dis- prefix was from the Middle English dis-, from the Old French des from the Latin dis, from the proto-Italic dwis, from the primitive Indo-European dwís and cognate with the Ancient Greek δίς (dís) and the Sanskrit द्विस् (dvis).  It was applied variously as an intensifier of words with negative valence and to render the senses “incorrect”, “to fail (to)”, “not” & “against”.  In Modern English, the rules applying to the dis prefix vary and when attached to a verbal root, prefixes often change the first vowel (whether initial or preceded by a consonant/consonant cluster) of that verb. These phonological changes took place in Latin and usually do not apply to words created (as in Modern Latin) from Latin components since the language was classified as “dead”.  The combination of prefix and following vowel did not always yield the same change and these changes in vowels are not necessarily particular to being prefixed with dis (ie other prefixes sometimes cause the same vowel change (con; ex)).  Dysphemism & dysphemist are nouns, dysphemistic & dysphemistical are adjectives and dysphemistically is an adverb; the noun plural is dysphemisms.

Virgil pointing out the Erinyes (1890), engraving by Gustave Doré (1832–1883).

Dating from 1656, euphemism was from the Ancient Greek εὐφημισμός (euphēmismós) (use of a favorable word in place of an inauspicious one, superstitious avoidance of words of ill-omen during religious ceremonies), from εὐφημίζω (euphēmízō), from εὔφημος (eúphēmos & euphemizein (speak with fair words, use words of good omen)).  Despite the impression conveyed by disapproving historians like Arnold Toynbee (1889-1975) the Romans, like all the cultures of antiquity, used euphemisms but it does seem true the Athenians were the most delicate of all, so careful to avoid ill-omened words they called their prison “the chamber” and the executioner “the public man” while the hardly convivial Furies (Erinyes) they called Eumenides (the “kindly ones” or “Venerable Goddesses”).  The construct was εὖ (eû) (good; well) + φήμη (phḗmē) (a voice, a prophetic voice, rumor, talk) + -ismos (-ism).  The Greek phēmē was from φάναι (phánai) (to speak, say), from the primitive Indo-European root bha (to speak, tell, say).  The concept was well-known in Hellenic culture, the Ancient Greek aristeros (the better one) a euphemism for “the left (hand)”.  In English, it was originally a rhetorical term, the broader sense of “choosing a less distasteful word or phrase than the one meant” in use since at least 1793 and common by the 1830s.  The most common of the derived forms was the adverb euphemistically, documented since 1833 although the first use is uncertain.  The –ism suffix was from the Ancient Greek ισμός (ismós) & -isma noun suffixes, often directly, sometimes through the Latin –ismus & isma (from where English picked up ize) and sometimes through the French –isme or the German –ismus, all ultimately from the Ancient Greek (where it tended more specifically to express a finished act or thing done).  It appeared in loanwords from Greek, used to form abstract nouns of action, state, condition or doctrine from verbs and on this model, was used as a productive suffix in the formation of nouns denoting action or practice, state or condition, principles, doctrines, a usage or characteristic, devotion or adherence (criticism; barbarism; Darwinism; despotism; plagiarism; realism; witticism etc).  Euphemism & euphemist are nouns, euphemistic & euphemistical are adjectives and euphemistically is an adverb; the noun plural is euphemisms.

Patterns of use: dysphemism vs euphemism.

Google Ngram (a quantitative and not qualitative measure): Because of the way Google harvests data for their Ngrams, they’re not literally a tracking of the use of a word in society but can be usefully indicative of certain trends, (although one is never quite sure which trend(s)), especially over decades.  As a record of actual aggregate use, Ngrams are not wholly reliable because: (1) the sub-set of texts Google uses is slanted towards the scientific & academic and (2) the technical limitations imposed by the use of OCR (optical character recognition) when handling older texts (typically a scanner might misread an “f” for a long “s” or a “u” for an “n”) of sometime dubious legibility (a process AI (artificial intelligence) should improve).  Where numbers bounce around, this may reflect either: (1) peaks and troughs in use for some reason or (2) some quirk in the data harvested.

Whether in general use dysphemisms are more or less common than euphemisms can be debated although, impressionistically, it does seem likely the latter enjoyed a long history of prevailing in print, the reasons for that including politeness and fear, both of the stroke of the censor’s pen and the lawyer’s writ for defamation.  In the age when social media affords users (still) a degree of anonymity, the use of dysphemisms probably has increased but the word itself remains rare while “euphemism” and its derive forms continues to flourish.  The history also was interesting; although first in print between 1873-1884 (as the French formation dysphémisme (modelled after euphémisme)), not until 1927 was there a revival when, after French-Belgium philologist Dr Albert Carnoy’s (1878-1961) “rediscovery”, he granted it an entry in La Science du Mot, Traité de Sémantique (The Science of the Word: A Treatise on Semantics, 1927) although he was no fan, including in his definition: “Dysphemism is unpitying, brutal, mocking. It is also a reaction against pedantry, rigidity and pretentiousness, but also against nobility and dignity in language.”  Dr Carnoy was one of those now little-acknowledged toilers in the dusty archives of linguistics and his work on the etymology of Indo-European languages (especially Indo-Iranian) provided some of the framework still used today.

Daddy-daughter day: Lear and Goneril in the RSC's (Royal Shakespeare Company) 1953 production of King Lear.

One plausibly could say the euphemism is “essential” to civilized life while (perhaps generously), dysphemism is “desirable” for those wishing to “make a point”.  A dysphemism is the deliberate substitution of a harsh, offensive, contemptuous or otherwise negatively charged expression for a more neutral one and although common in everyday discourse, there are also specialized forms (political speech or literary devices) where, rather than being spur-of-the-moment “swap”, the forms often rehearsed and polished although often not original; like euphemisms, dysphemisms tend to be clichéd, indeed, both often tend on that quality for their effect.  In their own ways, the use of dysphemisms in politics and literature is both “idealized” and “exaggerated” while those heard in general conversation can tend to be less elegant or rhythmic.  William Shakespeare (1564–1616) of course knew how to gain effect by blending elegance with brutishness, that “light & dark” in the words (Act 2, scene 4) of the king in King Lear (circa 1605) to his daughter Goneril:

But yet thou art my flesh, my blood, my daughter,

Or, rather, a disease that’s in my flesh,

Which I must needs call mine. Thou art a boil,

A plague-sore or embossèd carbuncle

General Franco lies in state, Royal Palace Madrid, 21 November, 1975.  In his life, Franco attracted many dysphemisms and fifty years on from his death, that continues, the Franco-era remaining Spain's great fault-line.

As dysphemisms within a family go, that’s pretty extreme, labelling her a “boil”, “plague-sore” or “embossèd carbuncle” (ie a repulsive, diseased growth on his body) rather than the usual “I’m very disappointed in you” or even “you’re an ungrateful, wicked, bad daughter”.  Obviously a family with “issues” and one “unhappy in its own way”.  Nor did Shakespeare spare the feelings of the Jews.  In The Merchant of Venice (1598), old Shylock repeatedly is subjected to dysphemistic descriptions, most famously: “the devil” and “a misbeliever, cut-throat dog”.  The canine reference is very much cross-cultural; although “man’s best friend” and among the most popular domestic pets, “dog” is in many traditions a classic dysphemism.  As a literary sub-type and in political propaganda, there’s a long history of animals being an element in which the dysphemism is metaphorical dehumanisation.  Pig, dog, rat, worm, parasite, vermin, mouse, dinosaur, leech etc deployed for various effects, notable practitioners being the old Soviet Union (including its client states behind the Iron Curtain, the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) when the “communist” bit was still taken seriously and the DPRK (Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea)), the latter really liking “dog”, sometimes with adjectival enhancement, often as a prelude to a sentence of execution.  There are many ways of using animals as points of comparison with the character of individuals that can at least verge on the complimentary (lion, tiger, shark etc) but “dog” is applied usually with contempt.  While it was Jeff Kennett (b 1948; premier of the Australian state of Victoria 1992-1999) who came “claim ownership” of the phrase: “He has all the attributes of a dog… except loyalty”, it’s believed to have earlier been by Andrew Peacock (1939–2021; leader of the Liberal Party of Australia 1983–1985 and 1989–1990) of Peter Costello (b 1957; treasurer of Australia 1996-2007) in one of those internecine squabbles that usually are more nasty (and thus amusing) than any invective directed at notional political opponents.  The use extends even to the dog's bark.  After the nationalist forces under Generalissimo Francisco Franco (1892-1975; Caudillo of Spain 1939-1975) prevailed in the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939 and a very bloody business), his troops were told, were they to hear anyone speaking in the Basque or Catalan dialects, they were to be told: “Speak the language of the empire, don't bark like dogs.” 

A Fishmonger's Shop (1873), watercolor on paper by Frederick Walker (1840–1875).  The artist was a keen fisher (the known as a fisherman) and such was his attention to detail, a dozen-odd species have been identified.

Applying his techniques to the another Abrahamic faith, in Act 1, Scene 1 of Othello (1603), Shakespeare has the villainous Iago shout at the nobleman Brabantio, waking him to tell him his daughter Desdemona, has eloped with Othello, the Moor: “Even now, now, very now, an old black ram is tupping [a term from animal husbandry describing “livestock mating”] your white ewe.”  Now that might be listed as “Islamophobic”, joining much of the treatment of Shylock as “anti-Semitic” but Othello’s dysphemistic range extended to “sexism”, calling his own wife a “strumpet” (used by Shakespeare in the sense of “prostitute”) rather than addressing her by name.  Being English and “middle class”. Shakespeare was of course class-conscious and in Hamlet (circa 1600), he has the prince describe Polonius as: “a fishmonger”.  Fishmonger is of course an honorable profession but what Shakespeare wanted was a word Hamlet would choose as a means contemptuously to reduce Polonius to a supposedly vulgar, grasping tradesman and snobby Hamlet was in the habit of applying “degrading” labels to those he disliked.  The tradition endures: While in Berlin’s Spandau Prison serving the sentences they were lucky to receive from the IMT (International Military Tribunal) at the first Nuremberg Trial (1945-1946), Albert Speer (1905–1981; Nazi court architect 1934-1942; Nazi minister of armaments and war production 1942-1945) and Walther Funk (1890–1960; Nazi economics minister & central bank president) had a argument about a light bulb, Speer in an entry of 14 October, 1952 in his clandestine prison diary (Spandauer Tagebücher (Spandau: The Secret Diaries, 1975)) recording the exchange:

Big quarrel among all of us because of the lighting problem.  Everyone wants something different.  Violent discussion.  Funk backs off ten paces and berates all of us.  When he starts using vulgar epithets, I shout back: ‘You sound like a truck driver!’  He clears out.  The first scene of this sort in seven years and, worse yet, in the presence of a guard.”  Of course, in Speer’s internal logic there would be nothing incongruous in one convicted war criminal thinking it an insult to compare the language of another to that of “a truck driver”, that occupation definitely not one associated with polite middle-class society, the “worse yet” explained by “prison guards” being of the “truck driver class”.  Speer wouldn’t have needed an explanation of the choice of words by Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens’ (1812–1870) novella A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas (now clipped usually to “A Christmas Carol” (1843)), the old curmudgeon’s contemptuous references to the poor: “Are there no prisons?; “Are there no workhouses?” the same sort of linguistic devaluation of human worth as his “truck driver” or “prison guard” being used not as neutral occupational descriptors but “categories of lesser intrinsic value”.

Nineteen Eighty-Four (first edition, 1949).  Modern re-prints have tended to use the numeric 1984 for the title.

Scrooge at least became a reformed character although, despite his decades of assiduous self-promotion, it seems doubtful Speer ever much changed his fundamental view of humanity and it may be he’d have seen the logic in the famous dysphemistic strategy for “preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick” suggested by the Anglo-Irish satirist & Anglican cleric Jonathan Swift (1667–1745) in A Modest proposal (1729).  Swift’s essay wholly was satirical and gained its effect from being written in ostensibly polite language, echoed later by the style in which Nazi-era documents (some from ministries headed by Speer) detailed appalling crimes in euphemism-laden texts that on surface analysis seemed innocuous bureaucratese.  Well acquainted with bureaucratese and the way language could be weaponized, in both Animal Farm (1945) and Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), George Orwell (1903-1950) demonstrated the “sword & shield” potential of dysphemism & euphemism, one of his warnings the way “political language” could be used to reduce individuals to degraded categories, something later explored by those developing labelling theory.  That of course wasn’t new, the Polish-British novelist Joseph Conrad (pen name of Józef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski, 1857–1924) in his novella Heart of Darkness (1899) used the brutish dysphemisms European colonial administrators applied casually to native Africans, reducing them to the status of animals, objects, or undifferentiated masses, again a technique that would have been familiar to Speer because an essential underpinning the whole Nazi racialist project was the need to have some people classified as “sub-human” and thus able without moral scruples to be “processed” as “livestock” or “beasts of burden”.  Conrad employed dysphemisms to expose the dehumanising psychology of colonialism as Orwell would later warn of the similar phenomenon in authoritarian states.

The Mean Girls Burn Book, a repository of the dysphemistic.

As might be expected, the film Mean Girls (2004) is a rich source of dysphemism, much of humor depending on deliberately derogatory or dehumanising language but, as a linguistic case-study, it’s of use also because, in the strict technical sense, not every “insult” is necessarily a dysphemism.  “Plastic” (and especially the collective “the Plastics”) certainly is dysphemistic and a classic example in that it takes a “neutral” word (using one of its two, well-known, “technical meanings”) and applies it to the clique of those individuals judged “artificial, fake, superficial etc”.  For deconstructionists, there’s also the contrast of the mix & match of dysphemism & euphemism in the text, indirect language of both flavours used when discussing sex, weight, menstruation etc although the labels applied to people tend to the former.  The script does illustrate the way dysphemism, pejoration, slur, insult, profanity, taboo language, and metaphorical dehumanisation can in some cases be distinguished while in others there’s obvious cross-categorization; in Mean Girls, much of the work done by language happens “at the margins” and the “Burn Book” in a way “institutionalises dysphemistic”, “burn” itself slang for an intentionally cutting insult.

At its most simple and most obvious, the dysphemism is merely the substitution of a harsh, disparaging, unpleasant or offensive word or phrase expression for something dignified, innocuous or neutral (ie the opposite of “euphemism”) and for centuries that’s been embedded in slang and used by authors, comedians and such as a source of bawdy humor, Geoffrey Chaucer (circa 1344-1400) in Canterbury Tales (1387-1400) clearly enjoying having his readers wallow in deliberately coarse or degrading terminology, notably for sexual behavior and bodily functions.  In that sense, it was “vulgarisation” a sub-set of dysphemism and perhaps (certainly in oral use) the most frequently practiced.  Dysphemism however is not of necessity something vulgar or insulting and can be a kind of “defense mechanism”; a way of “making light” of something disturbing or tragic.  In that vein, while “she died” is neutral, “she passed on” is euphemistic and “she kicked the bucket” is dysphemistic.  For those who wish to descend further into irrelevance there’s “she croaked”, “she karked it”, “she bit the dust” or “she fell of the perch”.

Leading Tory (Conservative Party) “Dry” Lord Norman Tebbit (1931–2025) on the cover of Private Eye magazine, 16 May, 1986.  The duel of the Tories' “Wets vs Dry” was something like “Dysphemisms at several dozen paces”.

Dysphemisms can also be adopted by those they were originally intended to disparage, notably in the 1980s by the “drys” (those on the nominal right of politics who would later be tagged “economic rationalists).  The “drys” liked the label and ran with it although their retribution (dubbing their opponents the “wets”) wasn’t embraced by them but at least they never got to be called “economic irrationalists” so there was that.   “Police officer” is a neutral descriptor (“law-enforcement professional” less a euphemism than a broader category of those employed on one side (although then can be fraying at the edges) of the crime business) while “cop” often was intended to disparage but in many places the “cops” came to like it, making it part of their slang, even using it in advertising and official documents.  In semiotics (the study of connotation & denotation of meaning in signs (words, marks, images etc)), the crucial aspect in whether a dysphemism remains a disparagement or emerges as something neutral or even embraced as at least quasi-affectionate is whether the pattern of popular use maintains or dissipates the originally deliberate “negative semantic loading”.  The verb "to cop" was from the Old French caper, from the Latin capere (to take or seize (the same root as capture)) and was known in English by the early 1700s.  By the middle of the nineteenth century, the noun “copper” was in common use to describe police constables and it survived and spread better than “peeler” or “bobby”, both a reference to Sir Robert Peel (1788–1850; Prime Minister of the UK 1834–1835 & 1841–1846) who, as Home Secretary (minister of the interior), introduced the Metropolitan Police Act (1829) establishing a police force for much of London and the surrounding areas).  The tales that “cop” was derived from “Constable on Patrol” (C.O.P.) or the copper buttons & badges part of the uniform were fanciful folk etymology; they were fake news. 

Fascist Pigs: Technoscientific Organisms and the History of Fascism (2017) by Tiago Saraiva (b 1972).

The stronger dysphemism “pig” has however always been disparaging and began not as a late twentieth century clipping of “fascist pig” but more than 150 years earlier, an entry appearing in Francis Grose’s (circa 1730-1791) Lexicon Balatronicum, (a dictionary of London slang).  According to Grouse, “pig” in this context was a clipping of “China Street pig”, underworld slang for a “Bow Street Officer” (the “Bow Street Runners” London's first professional, organized police force).  The porcine comparison was based on the criminal class’s view of policemen being as “greedy, dirty and unpleasant” as pigs although the reference was less to personal hygiene than the officers’ (probably not wholly undeserved) reputation for corruption and fondness for seizing for themselves a thief’s illicit loot or wallets.  Historians note also the “snout allusion”: the early undercover detectives and patrol officers characterized as “sniffing out crime”, much as a pig uses its snout to “root around” in search of something tasty.  In the UK, “copper”, “bobby” and “peeler” all supplanted “pig” but there was a revival of the latter in the US during the 1960s as the counter-culture, Vietnam War protesters, the Weather Underground and others became the police’s “usual suspects”.  This time there really was a connection with “fascist pig” and the Black Panther Party lent the use much cultural traction by prominent placement in newsletters, speeches and, most graphically, political cartoons depicting “police brutality”.  Media management wasn’t then the art it would become and attempts by some police forces to reclaim the word with “P.I.G.” campaigns (the initialism for “Pride, Integrity, Guts”) were greeted with derision so they stuck to being “cops”.  Not all looked as unfavourably upon pigs as the London underworld of old.  The quote: “I am fond of pigs.  Dogs look up to us.  Cats look down on us.  Pigs treat us as equals.” supposedly was said by Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) but like many memorable quips attributed to him, it’s unverified.  Always sentimental about animals (though one of England’s more voracious carnivores), it’s certainly something he might have said.

Shuttle

Shuttle (pronounced shuht-l)

(1) In weaving, a device in a loom for passing or shooting the weft thread through the shed from one side of the web to the other, usually consisting of a boat-shaped piece of wood containing a bobbin on which the weft thread is wound (ie the tool which carries the woof back and forth (shuttling) between the warp threads on a loom).

(2) In a sewing machine, the sliding container (thread-holder) that carries the lower thread through a loop of the upper thread to make a lock-stitch.

(3) In transport, a public conveyance (bus, train, ferry, car, limousine, aircraft etc) that travels back and forth at regular intervals over a particular route, especially a short route or one connecting two transportation systems; the service provided by such vehicles.

(4) In badminton, as shuttlecock, the lightweight object, built with a weighted (usually rubber-covered) semi-spherical nose attached to a conical construction (historically of feathers but now usually synthetic) and used as a ball is used in other racquet games. Shuttlecock was also once widely used as the name of the game but this is now rare.

(5) As space shuttle, vehicle designed to transport people & cargo between Earth and outer-space, designed explicitly re-use with a short turn-around between missions (with initial capital letters of the US craft).  The term shuttlecraft is the generic alternative.  “Space shuttle” most associated with the US vehicle (1981-2011).

(6) To cause (someone or something) to move back and forth by or as if by a shuttle, often in the form “shuttling”.

(7) Any device that repeatedly moves back and forth between two positions, either transporting something or transferring energy between those points.

(8) In electrical engineering, as "shuttle armature", the H-shaped armature in the that is an elongated shuttle with wires running longitudinally in grooves, used in small electrical generators or motors, having a single coil wound upon a the bobbin, the latter usually formed in soft iron.

(9) In diplomacy, as shuttle diplomacy, the practice of a diplomat from a third country shuttling between two others countries to conduct negotiations, the two protagonists declining directly to meet.

Pre 900: Shuttle was a merge from two sources. From (1) the Middle English shutel, shotel, schetel, schettell, schyttyl & scutel (bar; bolt), from the Old English sċyttel & sċutel (bar; bolt), the notion being shut +‎ -le.  Shut was from the Middle English shutten & shetten, from the Old English scyttan (to cause rapid movement, shoot a bolt, shut, bolt), from the Proto-Germanic skutjaną & skuttijaną (to bar, to bolt), from the Proto-Germanic skuttą & skuttjō (bar, bolt, shed), from the primitive Indo-European skewd & kewd- (to drive, fall upon, rush). The -le suffix was from the Middle English -elen, -len & -lien, from the Old English -lian (the frequentative verbal suffix), from the Proto-Germanic -lōną (the frequentative verbal suffix) and was cognate with the West Frisian -elje, the Dutch -elen, the German -eln, the Danish -le, the Swedish -la and the Icelandic -la.  It was used as a frequentative suffix of verbs, indicating repetition or continuousness.  From (2) the Middle English shitel (missile; a weaver's instrument), shutel, schetil, shotil, shetel, schootyll, shutyll, schytle & scytyl (missile; projectile; spear), from the Old English sċytel, sċutel (dart, arrow) (related to the Middle High German schüzzel and the Swedish skyttel), from the Proto-Germanic skutilaz, (related to the Middle High German schüzzel and the Swedish skyttel) and cognate with the Old Norse skutill (harpoon), the idea akin to both shut & shoot.  Shuttle is a noun, verb & adjective, shuttling is a noun & verb and shuttled and shuttles are verbs; the noun plural is shuttles.  The adjectival form shuttle-like is more common than the rare shuttlesque (which is listed as non-standard by the few sources to acknowledge its dubious existence).

A Lindsay Lohan advertising mural on the back of one of the airport shuttle buses run by Milan Malpensa International Airport in northern Italy.

The original sense in English is long obsolete, supplanted by the senses gained from the weaving instrument, so called since 1338 on the notion of it being “shot backwards and forwards” across the threads.  The transitive sense (move something rapidly to and fro) was documented from the 1540s, the same idea attached to the shuttle services in transport, first used in 1895 (although the intransitive sense of “go or move backward and forward like a shuttle” had been in use by at least 1843) in early versions of what would come to be known as the intra-urban RTS (rapid transit systems), the one train running back and forth on a single line between fixed destinations (often with intermediate stops).  This was picked up by ferry services in 1930, air routes in 1942, space travel in 1960 (in SF (science fiction)) and (real) spacecraft in 1969.  Shuttle in the sense it evolved in English is used in many languages but a separate development was the naming of the weaving instrument based on its resemblance to a boat (the Latin navicula, the French navette and the German Weberschiff).  The noun shuttlecock dates from the 1570s, the “shuttle” element from it being propelled backwards and forwards over a net and the “cock” an allusion to the attached anti-aerodynamic construction (originally of feathers) which resembled a male bird's plume of tail feathers.  The term shuttle diplomacy came into use in the 1970s thanks to tireless self-promotion by Dr Henry Kissinger (1923-2023; US national security advisor 1969-1975 & secretary of state 1937-1977) although the practice (of “good offices”) dates back centuries.

The Abbotsleigh class of 2020 pondering time flying faster than a weaver’s shuttle.  This was the first of the "Covid generation" so the lack of social distancing can be explained only by them all having "tested negative".

The motto of the Sydney girl’s school Abbotsleigh is tempus celerius radio fugit (Time flies faster than a weaver's shuttle), the idea behind that said to be: “As the shuttle flies a pattern is woven, with the threads being the people, buildings and events. The pattern is Abbotsleigh as it continues to grow in complexity and richness each year”.  Quite whether a weaver’s shuttle (said by some detractors to have been chosen as symbolic of the "proper" place of women being in a state of domestic servitude for the convenience of men) is appropriate for a girls’ school in the twenty-first century has been debated.  The motto came from the family crest of Marian Clarke (1853-1933), Abbotsleigh’s first headmistress (principle) and was maintained using the family’s grammatically dubious form tempus fugit radio celerity until 1924 when the correct syntax was substituted.  It’s an urban myth the mistake was permitted to stand until 1924 as a mark of respect while Ms Clarke was alive; she lived a decade odd after the change although the family’s heraldry was apparently never corrected.

The US (left) and USSR (centre) space shuttles compared with a badminton shuttlecock (right).  The shuttlecock is rendered in a larger scale than the shuttles and although the shapes are similar, travelling in "opposite directions" the purposes differ, the lines of the shuttles optimized for efficiency while the shuttlecock is an unusual example in aerodynamics of "planned inefficiency".

Counterintuitively, badminton is (in a narrow technical sense) the world’s “fastest racquet sport”.  In controlled conditions, the maximum speed achieved by a shuttlecock in flight is listed at 565 km/h (351 mph) and during sanctioned competitive tournament play, 417 km/h (259 mph) has been recorded.  A shuttlecock attains such speeds only briefly, directly after coming off the racquet and before the skirt shape creates its massive aerodynamic drag; by the time a shuttlecock arrives to be returned by the opposing player, the velocity considerably has been reduced.  Professional players however don’t seek with every serve or return-shot to generate maximum power because, as in tennis and cricket where the unexpected “slower ball” can be effective, in badminton, a well-disguised slower shuttlecock can deceive.

Three of the great landmarks of the analogue era: Space Shuttle Enterprise (OV-101, the first orbiter, used for atmospheric test flights that never flew in space) atop NASA 905 SCA (Shuttle Carrier Aircraft, one of two modified Boeing 747s used to ferry shuttles from landing sites back to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida and a BA (British Airways) Concorde taking off, Paris Air Show, 1983.

The US Space Shuttle was operated by NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) between 1981-2011 as the low Earth orbital vehicle and served as the platform for its STS (Space Transportation System).  The plans, based on ideas a decade earlier explored in SF for a (mostly) reusable spacecraft were first laid down in 1969 and, despite intermittent funding and the odd threat by Congress to "defund", test flights were able to be undertaken in 1981.  Five Space Shuttles eventually were built to completion and between 1981-2011, there were over a hundred missions but the stresses imposed on the craft were considerable, meaning more maintenance was required than originally envisaged so mission turn-arounds were never as rapid as had been hoped and the extent to which components could be reused had to be revised (downwards, many reclassified as "single-use").  There was controversy too about the failures in NASA’s procedures that resulted in the two accidents in which all seven crew aboard each shuttle were killed.  The programme was retired in 2011.

Lindsay Lohan getting off the NAPA Shuttle, The Parent Trap (1998).  "NAPA" here is not an acronym, the reference is to California's Napa Valley, noted for wine tours.

Common in the early days of civil aviation, the term "to disembark" (get off) was borrowed from nautical use and was the companion to "embark" (get on).  Of late "to deplane" has entered English which seems unnecessary but the companion "to disemplane" was more absurd still; real people continue to "get on" and "get off" aircraft.  It seemed to be a trend because on railway platforms it has become not uncommon to hear "detrain" (passengers leaving the carriage), a use distinct from "derail" (railway locomotives or un-powered rolling-stock "coming off the rails").  

The Soviet Union’s space shuttle, construction of which began in 1980, unsurprisingly, was visually very similar to the US vehicle, there being only so many ways optimally to do these things.  The USSR’s effort was the Буран (Buran) (Snowstorm or Blizzard), the craft sharing the designation with the Soviet spaceplane project and its spaceships, known as "Buran-class orbiters".  Although more than a dozen frames were laid down, few were ever completed to be flight-ready and the Buran’s only flight was an un-crewed orbital mission in 1988 that although successful, proved a one-off.  The deteriorating economic and political situation in the Soviet Union (1922-1991) saw the programme stall and in 1993 it was abandoned by the new Russian government, now faced with more problems more urgently demanding the allocation of scarce resources.  The striking similarity between the profile of the US & Soviet space shuttles and a badminton shuttlecock is coincidental but not unrelated.  The space craft are designed as aerodynamic platforms because, although not of relevance in the vacuum of space, they did have to operate as aircraft while operating in Earth’s atmosphere whereas the shuttlecock is designed deliberately as an anti-aerodynamic shape.  The shuttle’s shape was dictated by the need to maximize performance whereas a shuttlecock is intentionally inefficient, the shape maximizing air-resistance (drag) so it slows in flight.

El rapto de Europa (The Rape of Europa (1628-1629)), oil on canvas by Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640), Prado Museum, Madrid.  It follows a 1562 work in the same vein by Tiziano Vecelli (circa 1489-1576 and known in English as Titian).

The shuttle can be weaponized.  In Greek mythology, Αράχνη (Arachne) was a Lydian girl (Lydia an ancient iron-age kingdom in western Asia Minor (the modern-day Republic of Türkiye (Turkey)) who produced weaving and embroidery so exquisite nymphs from all around would gather to watch her fingers work the threads.  Such was the virtuosity, word spread she must have been the pupil of Athena (goddess, inter alia, of spinners & embroiderers) but although that was quite an endorsement, Arachne had an artisan’s pride in her craft and refused to attribute to skill to another, even a goddess.  Angered by the story being widely believed, Arachne challenged Athena who responded by first appearing to her in the guise of an old woman, entreating the proud embroider to behave with greater modesty.  Unimpressed, Arachne spat out insults, at which point, the goddess threw off her disguise and demanded a contest.  Dramatically, Athena created a stunning tapestry showing in all their majesty the twelve Olympian gods with, in each corner, a depiction of the defeat of mortals who had dared defy the gods; an unsubtle but unambiguous threat.  Arachne took as her theme the least creditable of the love affairs of the gods: Zeus and the rape of Europa, a kind of proto #metoo moment in Antiquity.  The work was of course executed to perfection but the subject so enraged Athena she tore it to shreds and struck her rival with her own shuttle.  At this, Arachne lost heart, ran off and hanged herself.  Hell however hath no fury like a goddess angered and Athena refused to let her die, transforming her into a spider, doomed forever to spin and weave its web.

Dr Henry Kissinger, shuttling between dinner companions (left to right), Dolly Parton (b 1946), Diane von Furstenberg (b 1946), Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) and Carla Bruni (b 1967).  It was Dr Kissinger who coined the phrase: "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac", a conclusion he reached on an empirical basis. 

The term "shuttle diplomacy" describes the process in which a mediator travels repeatedly between two or more parties involved in a conflict or negotiation, in circumstances where the protagonists are unable or unwilling to meet.  Ostensibly, the purpose of shuttle diplomacy is to facilitate communication between the parties and reach a resolution of the dispute(s) but, being inherently political, it can be used for other, less laudable goals.  The practice, if not the term, has a long history, instances noted from Antiquity and the Holy Roman Empire was renowned for the (nominally) neutral diplomats who would travel back and forth between kings, princes, dukes and cardinals.  During both the Conference of Vienna (1814-1815) and the Paris Peace Conference (1919-1920) the negotiations were marked by sometimes intransigent politicians sitting in rooms while a professionally disinterested notable would shuttle between them, oiling the machinery by giving and taking until either a common acquiescence was extracted or the matter was "referred to a committee".  A celebrated example of the process played out between 1939-1940 when Swedish businessman Birger Dahlerus (1891-1957) played a quixotic role as amateur diplomat, shuttling between London and Berlin in what proved a doomed attempt to avoid war.  It long seen as something noble (if misguided) and it was only years later (when the UK Foreign Office’s papers on the matter were declassified) the extent of the Swede’s conflicts of interest were revealed.

Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961 and POTUS 1969-1974, left) meets Dr Henry Kissinger (1923-2023; US national security advisor 1969-1975 and secretary of state 1937-1977, right).  Although there were in the past those who would now be thought "celebrity diplomats", Dr Kissinger was the first to be so-labeled.  He'd not have disagreed.

The term entered the language in 1973 when Dr Henry Kissinger used it to refer to his efforts to negotiate an end to the Yom Kippur War between Israel and its Arab neighbors.  Kissinger shuttled between Tel Aviv, Cairo and other Middle Eastern capitals in an attempt to broker a ceasefire and improve diplomatic relations, enjoying some success, and contributing to the achievement of a bilateral peace between Egypt and Israel as well as a number of disengagement agreements (admittedly, all of them would likely anyway have happened by virtue of "military necessity").  Moreover, some historians and foreign policy scholars, while acknowledging what was achieved, have suggested it was the Kissinger’s approach to the region in the years leading up to the war that played some part in the outbreak of hostilities.

Kissinger has also been criticized on the basis that shuttle diplomacy was to him never much more than playing a game of realpolitik on a multi-dimensional chessboard rather than an attempt to imagine a regional architecture able to secure a comprehensive peace plan in the Middle East, his emphasis on obtaining something in the interest of the US (a treaty between Egypt and Israel), meaning the vital issue of Palestine and its potential to assist in a long-term settlement not just neglected but ignored.  In fairness, it must be said that lip-service apart, the Arab states took the plight of the Palestinians about as seriously, the only consensus among the being: "We don't want the Palestinians coming here".  Cynics, noting his university background (he'd been also a minor "celebrity academic" before being co-opted by various politicians) and research interests, compared the "shuttling" with the travels of emissaries in the Holy Roman Empire who would travel between the Holy See, palaces and chancelleries variously to reassure the troubled, sooth hurt feelings, cajole the diffident and, where possibe, issue threats.  This was the idea of Henry the self-promoting celebrity who could bring peace to Vietnam and Nixon to China, the political wizard who solved problems as they arose.  Certainly, the circumstances in which Kissinger was able to use shuttle diplomacy as a political narrative were both unique and something of his own creation.  He’d first undermined and then replaced William Rogers (1913–2001; US secretary of state 1969-1973) as secretary of state and even before becoming the last major figure still standing from Richard Nixon’s first term as the Watergate affair took its toll, essentially took personal control of the direction of US foreign policy.  As he put it “…one of the more cruel torments of Nixon’s Watergate purgatory was my emergence as the preeminent figure in foreign policy”.

Prize by proxy: Dr Kissinger (left) receiving the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize from Dr Thomas Byrne (1923-2014; US Ambassador to Norway 1973-1976, right), Claridge's Hotel, London, 12 December, 1973.

Some of that shuttling was in 1973 recognized when Kissinger and Lê Đức Thọ Lê Đức Thọ (1911–1990; North Vietnamese communist functionary and negotiator) jointly were offered the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts in what was, somewhat prematurely, called the “Paris Peace Accords”.  On the basis a state of armed conflict still existed in his country, Lê Đức Thọ declined to accept the prize while Kissinger crafted a compromise which earlier shuttler Prince Klemens von Metternich (1773-1859; Foreign Minister of the Austrian Empire 1809-1848 & Chancellor 1821-1848) would have admired: He took the medal, donated the prize money to be used eleemosynarily and was a no-show at the prize ceremony (he cited "prior international commitments", a variant of "diplomatic toothache").  After the fall of Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC) although the old name persists in popular use) in 1975, Kissinger offered to return his medal but the committee declined, by then presumably not wishing further to draw attention to them ever having made the award.

Elizabeth Holmes in black gown with (a perhaps optimistic) cleavage slit.  Until he met Elizabeth Holmes (b 1984; CEO of US biotech company Theranos 2003-2018), nothing fooled Henry.

So, opportunistic his initiatives may have been but there were after all real problems to be solved and it seems unfair to criticize Kissinger for doing what he did rather than constructing some counter-factual grand design that might have crafted a permanent, settled peace in the Middle East.  Among realists (and Kissinger was dean of the school), even then there were few who believed such a thing was anyway still possible possible (certainly since the conclusion of the Six-Day War (1967)) and Kissinger certainly achieved something and to do that it’s necessary to understand there are some problems that can never be solved and only endlessly managed.  Genuinely, some problems are insoluble, something lost on many US presidents infected more than most by the diminishing but still lingering feelings of optimism and exceptionalism that have for centuries characterized the American national character.  

Phaeton

Phaeton (pronounced feyt-n (U) or fey-i-tn (non-U))

(1) Any of various light, four-wheeled carriages, originally without folding tops, having one or two seats facing forward, used first in the nineteenth century.  In describing horse-drawn carriages, phaeton was later used to describe many with convertible tops (originally often as spider (or spyder) phaeton).

(2) An early-mid twentieth century touring-car with four or more seats and (later) sometimes with removable side-windows and a convertible top; some with dual-cowl coachwork.

(3) A model name for automobiles which came to mean nothing in particular beyond a hint at "more expensive".

1585-1595: 1742: From the (1735) French phaeton, from the Latin Phaëtōn, from the Ancient Greek Φᾰέθων (Phaéthōn).  Phaëthon, the son of Clymene and the sun god Helios, gained permission (from whom was contested) to drive his father's sun-chariot but, being unable to control the horses, was struck by Zeus with a thunderbolt and slain after nearly setting on fire the whole Earth.  His name translated as “shining” and was from phaein & the verb phaethô (to shine, to make gleam), from phaos (light), from the primitive Indo-European root bha- (to shine).   Even before the carriages were so named, phaeton (the spellings varied) was used to describe someone who recklessly handled horses and carts or carriages.  The alternative spellings were Phaethon, Phaéthôn, Phaëton, Phaeton, Phæton & Phaëthon.  The adjectives phaetonlike & phateonesque are non-standards but have been used by historians of the industry to describe the coachwork of vehicles (built usually in the 1930s) with characteristics straddling those of phaetons and convertible sedans without being a "pure" implementation of either.  Phaeton & phaetoneer are nouns; the noun plural is phaetons.

Phaethon (1878), watercolor & pencil in the symbolist tradition by Gustave Moreau (1826-1898), Musée du Louvre, Paris.

The myth from antiquity was a cautionary tale about the impetuosity of adolescent youth but, being from Greek mythology, there’s more than one account of Phaëthon and the story of his fall was told with two distinct traditions concerning his genealogy, one making him the son of Eos and Cephalus, the other of Helios and Clymene.  In the second and most popular version, Phaethon was raised by his mother, who, until he reached adolescence, concealed from the boy his father's identity.  Impressed by his illustrious lineage but also seeking acknowledgement of his status as a child of a god, Phaethon asked his father to allow him drive the sun-chariot (somewhat akin to handing one’s sixteen year-old son the keys to one’s V12 Ferrari).  Duly granted, Phaethon began the journey by following his father’s usual route across the vaults of heaven but, inexperienced, became alarmed a finding himself so high in the sky, the sights of the animals in the starts (the signs of the Zodiac) becoming too frightening so he deviated from the eternally ordained path.  In panic, he dropped too low, scorching the once fertile plains of Africa to desert and risking setting alight the whole of Earth.  Out of control, he again soared too high, prompting the stars to complain to Zeus.  Appalled, to prevent a global conflagration, Zeus smote the boy with his thunderbolt, hurling him dead into the River Eridanus where the Heliades (his five sisters) paid him funeral honours.  A variant on the tale is the Heliades (Merope, Helia, Phoebe, Aetheria & Dioxippe (or Lampetia)), lamenting his death, wept for him on the banks of the Eridanus where they were transformed into tall poplars, their tears becoming drops of amber.  That may, given the circumstances, seem harsh but in that version it was said their arboreal metamorphosis was a punishment because it was they who had given Phaethon the chariot and horses of the Sun without the permission of Helios.  While the myths of Antiquity often were unforgiving, that twist in the tale has attracted latter-day feminist criticism because it’s part of the “blame women” narrative that, for several thousand years, permeated Western literature, “poisoning” politics and culture.  In death, Phaethon was placed amongst the stars as the constellation Auriga (the Charioteer) or transformed into the god of the star that the Greeks named Phaethon (the planets Jupiter or Saturn depending on the translation).

1932 Cadillac V16 Special Phaeton with (V12) coach-work by Fisher.

Phaetons were a type of type of light, open four-wheeled horse carriage, English in 1742 picking up the word from the French form, coined in 1735, the link being the exposure of the passengers to the sun and until well into the modern age, they remained popular, despite the availability of carriages with partially or fully enclosed coach-work.  Indeed, even if not so named, phaetons were the most common form in the early age of the automobile, some supplied with no folding top, some with one and removable side windows also appeared, something supplied by the manufacturer, sometimes by third-party "accessory shops", an industry that for decades flourished and, in rather different form, exists to this day.  As enclosed coachwork and integrated (retractable) side windows became close to standardized, phaetons were by the 1930s close to extinct and the companion four-door convertibles would soon follow, becoming a niche last filled in 1967 when the last convertible version of the memorable fourth series Lincoln Continentals (1961-1969) left the line, a model that would prove to be the last convertible ever built by Lincoln.  The core element of the phaeton (no side windows) lived on the (most British) roadsters of the post-war years although by the early 1960s most of them had gained effete luxuries like external door handles and windows able to be wound down (although other primitive features would endure), all supplied with at least a folding soft-top and often a rigid hard-top (in metal or fibreglass) too.  Since the Shelby American Cobra was in 1967 driven extinct by the beginning of what proved an onslaught of US safety and exhaust emission regulations, only a handful of small-scale manufactures have produced the traditional, minimalist roadsters and none have put phaetons into production, there being some demand for the former, none for the latter.

The Dual-Cowl Phaetons

1935 Packard Twelve dual-cowl Sport Phaeton with coach-work by Dietrich (left) and 1935 Duesenberg SJ dual-cowl Phaeton with coach-work by La Grande.  The unusual, rakish line of the Duesenberg's convertible top exists because in 1937, Rollston Coachworks (New York) was commissioned to fit the rare option of a fixed vee-windshield, a visual and aerodynamic enhancement from a time before curved-glass screens became practical.

Among the grandest and most romantic of the pre-war phaetons were the dual-cowl convertibles (ie a second windscreen was fitted for the rear seat passengers, doubtless an addition deemed "thoughtful" by women with "big hair") of the 1930s although, being very expensive in a time of what was for much of the population a time of austerity, few were built, the rich often reluctant to consume too conspicuously (though, behind closed doors, the extravagances continued).  Unlike the original horse-drawn carriages from which the name was appropriated, the cars so-described usually had a folding roof and either removable side windows (usually then called "side-curtains") or even glass able to be rolled-down.  Purists of course insist any "true" phaeton has no side windows, nor any roof (rigid or folding) but those were only ever conventions and not always adhered to even during the horse & buggy era.  In the age of the automobile, everything became elastic and "phaeton" became just another model name to be used as a manufacturer saw fit.  In an early example of this linguistic promiscuity, by the 1930s Buick was selling what would now be though a "four-door convertible" (with integrated winding windows) yet continued to use the phaeton label.  By then, the design parameters of the old designations from the days of horse-drawn carriages had long become "frayed around the edges" and whether modest Fords or the big dual-cowl Duesenbergs, Chryslers, Lincolns, Cadillacs and Packards, all were marketed as "phaetons" although the use of tops and side windows could vary.  In the post-war years, the four-door hardtop really was the the spiritual successor (in the sense of market place positioning) of the inter-war phaeton as rapidly the four-door convertibles faded from the scene; by the late 1970s, the four-door hardtops too would go extinct except for the odd example in the quirky world of the JDM (Japanese Domestic Market).  Today, like landau, phaeton is just a name which means nothing in particular although many seem aware both are evocative of something from the past.  In recent decades, there have been many off-road and utilitarian vehicles which, technically, are phaeton-like but they're hardly in the spirit of the machines of the 1930s.  

Parade Phaetons

Before there was crooked Hillary (Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013)), there was tricky Dicky.  Vice-President Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961 & POTUS 1969-1974) at President Dwight Eisenhower's (1890-1969; POTUS 1953-1961) second Inaugural Parade, 21 January 1957 in 1952 Chrysler lmperial dual-cowl Parade Phaeton (one of three built).

Although "true" phaetons in the traditional sense, the name of Chrysler's 1952 parade cars delights obsessives in the collector-car community because of the corporate history.  Introduced in 1926, the Chrysler Imperial sat atop the company's brand hierarchy until 1954 when Imperial was (re-)launched as a standalone brand, the an arrangement lasting until 1975 (although even by 1972 the Chrysler name had crept back somewhat and the half-hearted revivals in 1981-1983 & 1990-1993 are not fondly remembered).  The 1952 parade phaetons thus properly are designated "Chrysler Imperials" although, being updated by the factory in 1955 with much of the sheet-metal and other fixtures from the 1956 Imperial, they resemble the latter and are sometimes erroneously so described.  So, although the appearance would suggest "Imperial", pedants gleefully will correct that to "Chrysler Imperial".

In happier times: Wedding procession of the ex-Duke & Duchess of York, traveling in the 1902 State Landau Carriage, London, 1986.

What the parade phaetons were intended to be were motorized versions of the "state landaus" now most familiar from footage of princes (and one ex-prince) of the UK's royal family getting married (at least to their first wife).  The best-known is the 1902-vintage "State Landau Carriage", seen of late in the wedding processions of (1) the then Prince of Wales (now King Charles (b 1948, King of the UK since 2022)) to Lady Diana Spencer (1961-1997) on 29 July, 1981 (2), the then Prince Andrew (now the ex-Prince, ex-Admiral, ex-Duke of York etc Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (b 1960)) to Sarah Ferguson (b 1959) on 23 July, 1986 and (3) Prince William (b 1982 and since 2022 the Prince of Wales) to Catherine Middleton (b 1982) on 29 April 2011.  The State Landau Carriage had been built in 1902 by Messrs Hooper for the coronation procession (9 August, 1902) through London of of Edward VII (1841–1910; King of the UK & Emperor of India 1901-1910) and it's since been a central feature in much of the panoply assembled for "royal family set pieces", many of which are spectacles of most recent origin, created for the family's new role as content providers for mass media (color television probably the platform most influencing this latter-day choreography of spectacle).  Some of the royal marriages of those who sat in the carriage to and from the church where they promised state and God to remain together till death do them part didn't end well but, clearly not superstitious, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge ("Will & Kate" to readers of the Daily Mail) choose the 1902 Landau although Prince Harry (b 1984) and Meghan Markle (b 1981) decided not to risk the curse, riding instead in one of the five Ascot landaus in the Royal Mews.  Like phaeton, "landau" is a word that in earlier centuries once had a precise meaning when appearing in a coach-builder's catalogue but is now is just another model name. 

Chrysler Newport dual-cowl Phaeton by LeBaron (six of which were built in 1940-1941, left), 1952 Chrysler Imperial dual-cowl Phaeton (one of three, centre) & 1997 Chrysler dual-cowl Phaeton concept car (a genuine one-off, right).

Recalling the 1940 Chrysler Newport, the three dual-cowl parade phaetons were built on the chassis of the 1952 Chrysler Imperial Crown Limousine with the wheelbase extended by 3 inches (75 mm) to 147½ (3,746)).  All were constructed for ceremonial use by the US government and the municipal corporations of New York City and Los Angeles and they still make the odd appearance.  Obviously, a dual-cowl parade phaeton is a niche commodity and the three were thought the last of the breed but, in 1997, unexpectedly, Chrysler displayed a concept car in the same vein.  While obviously not intended for production, it did include an intoxicatingly attractive specification including a bespoke 48 valve, 333 cubic-inch (5.4 litre) V12 engine rated at 425 HP (horsepower).  With 5.4 litres and 425 horsepower (referencing respectively the 331 cubic inch V8 in the 1952 cars and the (understated) power output of the corporation's 426 Street Hemi V8 (1966-1971)) both being iconic numbers from Chrysler's happier past, the nostalgia button was pressed but the styling was something of a curate's egg.  While judged mostly an accomplished exercise, the front divided opinion; one could see what the designers were getting at but, to blend elements from both 1940 and 1955 may have been "a pastiche too far" and the thing may have been more admired still had the lines of 1955 front clip more slavishly been followed, the approach the Chinese manufacturer Honqqi wisely pursues for its "retro" exercises.     

Comrade Stalin's 1936 Packard Standard Eight Phaeton.  The Kremlin's "state parade car", it wasn't used during Moscow's colder months.

With roots in the nineteenth century, Packard had been one of the US industry's most storied names and, during the inter-war years (1919-1941), was among the most prestigious brands in the nation.  According to Ferrari folklore, it had been the sound of Packard V12s on race tracks that inspired Enzo Ferrari (1989-1988) to decide the machines to bear his name must “canta la canzone dei dodici” (sing the song of twelve) although, like Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955), many sometimes dubious quotes have been attributed to il Commendatore (his apparently envious quip about the Jaguar E-Type (XKE, 1961-1974) the best known) but all at least sound like something “he might have said” and, for folkloric purposes, that’s good enough.  What is uncontested was his remark “Una Ferrari è una macchina a dodici cilindri” (a Ferrari is a twelve cylinder car), explaining why the 206 GT (1967-1969) was a “Dino” and not a “Ferrari”.  Clearly that applied only to the road cars because, on the track, the factory had enjoyed great success in the 1950s & 1960s using four, six & eight cylinder engines but reality anyway bit in the more troubled 1970s and Ferrari V8s became (by the factory’s historic standards), “mass-market” road cars.

A 1936 Packard Standard Eight Phaeton was for years the designated “parade car” in the Kremlin garage but, as tensions rose in the Soviet Union, comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) became more security conscious, ceasing to ride in open-topped vehicles, preferring the armored Packard Twelve limousine gifted to him by Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR, 1882–1945, POTUS 1933-1945).  Despite weighing some six tons (one door alone a hefty 348 kg (767 lb)), the 473 cubic in (7.8 litre) V12 was able to propel the car (despite its suspect aerodynamic qualities) to a reputed top speed of 130 km/h (80 mph); at that pace the gas (petrol) consumption would have been “heroic” (likely mid-single figures in mpg (miles per gallon) terms) but high fuel bills didn’t greatly trouble the comrades in the Politburo.  The fine engineering in the Kremlin’s fleet of Packards proved useful in the early years of the Cold War, the ZiS 110 sedan (1946-1958) & ZiS-115 limousine (1948-1949) (the brand better known in the West as “Zil”) both “reversed-engineered” (ie copied) versions of the 1942 Packard.  Reverse-engineering was a notable feature of Soviet industry and much of its post-war re-building of machinery for the armed forces involved the process, exemplified by the Tupolev Tu-4 heavy bomber (1947), a remarkably close copy of the US Boeing B-29 Superfortress (1942), a reasonably achievement given some of the advanced metallurgical techniques then available on to the Americans.

End of the line: the gape-mouthed 1958 Packard Hawk, one of the so-called "Packardbakers".  Of the final 2,622 Packards made in 1958, 588 were Hawks.

Other countries also adopted the practice that, in some places, continues to this day for both consumer goods and military equipment.  After spending the war years engaged in military production (notably a version of the Merlin V12 aero-engine built under license from Rolls-Royce), Packard emerged in 1945 in sound financial state but found the new world challenging, eventually in 1953 merging with fellow struggling independent, Studebaker.  Beset form the start by internal conflict, things went from bad to worse and, after dismal sales in 1958-1959 of the final Packards (which were really modified Studebakers and derided by many as “Packardbakers”), the Packard brand was retired, the Studebaker-Packard Corporation in 1962 reverting to again become Studebaker but it was to no avail, the last Studebaker leaving the line (in Canada!) in 1967.

For both, it had been a rapid and precipitous decline from great success, one notable product of Studebaker being the 152,000-odd US6 trucks supplied by the US to the Soviet Union under the wartime “lend-lease” arrangements, comrade Stalin during the Tehran Conference (Nov-Dec 1943) raising a toast and freely admitting “Without the machines we received through Lend-Lease, we would have lost the war.”.  Unfortunately, the still sometimes quoted tale that comrade Stalin sent a personal “thank-you letter” to the Studebaker Corporation appears wholly apocryphal.  According to the Studebaker National Museum, an official “letter of appreciation” from the Soviet government was received through “normal diplomatic channels” but it neither mentioned comrade Stalin nor bore his signature.  The rugged US6 (nicknamed Studer by Red Army troops who much appreciated its durability and ability to handle the mud and snow so often a feature of the Eastern Front) appears often in the conflict’s photographic record because it was the platform used to mount the famous Katyusha rocket launchers (a weapon nicknamed “Stalin’s Organs” because of the distinctive sound made when being fired in multiple salvos).  In the post-war years, the WS6 was also reverse-engineered, influencing several generations of Soviet truck design, a breed admired more for toughness than aesthetics.

FDR & Ford

1937 Ford V8 Phaeton

As the American car buyer came to prefer the creature comforts offered by closed coupés & sedans or convertibles (with "proper", wind-down glass windows), sales of the more basically configured roadsters and phaetons began in the 1930s rapidly to decline.  In small numbers, the exotic dual cowl phaetons continued to appeal to those who wanted something extravagant in which to be chauffeured on warm, sunny days but for those for whom economics dictated ownership of a single vehicle, the attractions of protection from the elements was persuasive, especially in a northern winter.  Surprisingly, it was Ford, a pioneer (if not the originator) in the techniques of mass-production and the optimization of economies of scale that, despite the line's shrinking profitability, kept the roadster and phaeton on the books longer than most, their last roadster built in 1937 and the final phaeton the following year although production in 1938 ran to a mere 1169 cars, little more than an administrative inconvenience for a company used to measuring unit-production in chunks of tens of thousands.  When the Ford line was updated for 1939, the phaeton was deleted from the catalogue.

FDR and two presidential advisors (his granddaughters) in his 1936 Ford V8 Phaeton (one of 13 body-styles Ford that year made available for the V8), supervising the construction of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum (dedicated 1941), Hyde Park, New York (left) and FDR in Phaeton with signature (Cocktail length) cigarette holder (right).

Now on permanent display in the museum (the odometer reading 19,143 miles (30,808 km), the New York license plate was “3” with the governor allocated “1” and the lieutenant governor “2” (that hierarchy reflecting late eighteenth century political thought in the states, a view that would decline in significance after the US Civil War (1861-1865)).  Afflicted at 39 by polio that left him paralyzed from the waist down, FDR’s cars were fitted with hand controls for the throttle, brakes & clutch, a cigarette dispenser always included as was a customized clip for his cigarette holder.  By social convention, in the US, men rarely used a cigarette holder longer than 4 inches (100 mm) although there were longer varieties and the “Opera length” was a favorite of Vogue’s editors who liked to have a slender model photographed elegantly holding one at a time when smoking was both “sexy” and “fashionable”.  The “Operas” typically were between 16-20 inches (400-200 mm) while more conveniently-sized versions included the “Theatre length” (10-14 (250-350)), “Dinner length” (4-6 (100-150)) and “Cocktail length” (1-3 (25-75).

The Art Deco Society of New York's lovey art deco examples of the sort of cigarette case and holders that should have been in the handbag of the modern young woman.

It’s an urban myth Vogue ever recommended that if wearing something “sleeveless”, women’s choice of cigarette holder should be in inverse proportion to their gloves' length (ie an Opera thus be paired with a “Short” or “Wrist”, a Theatre with an “Above Wrist” or “Three Quarter”, a Dinner with a “Below Elbow or “Elbow” and a Cocktail with a “Upper Arm”, “Underarm” or “Maxi”).  That might sound counterintuitive but it was claimed the goal was for the holder to be "in accord" with the expanse of skin on display, not the material of the glove.  It was fake news but appears sometimes still, along with claims there were in polite society “strict” rules of etiquette about such things.  There was a widely adopted convention under which women removed their gloves before smoking, eating or drinking but that was just good sense and glove length was anyway dictated by the time of day or nature of the event to which a pair was worn.  Vogue did however confirm a cigarette holder was “an essential accessory for any fashionable woman” but was most focused more on the materials used in construction, a 1930 article listing what a “smart woman” should keep in her handbag, recommending “a black enamel cigarette holder in a small eggshell case by Dunhill (for day) and a Cartier gold and tortoiseshell cigarette holder (for evening; other “handbag essentials” included “a tortoiseshell comb, a bill clip, a vanity case, a cigarette case and other “examples of charm and good taste.”  It’s little wonder Vogue came to be called the “fashion bible” although in the modern era not all followed all the advice; as far as is known, Lindsay Lohan has never been photographed using a cigarette holder or carrying a cigarette case and although smoking can't be recommended, she did make it look alluring.

2004 Volkswagen Phaeton W12.  Well-built, dynamically more than competent with great attention to detail (the trunk (boot) lid's hinges pieces of mechanical artistry) but, even by the slight standards of the market segment, the depreciation rate was extraordinary.

A Volkswagen that should have been an Audi or (not inconceivable, even then) a Lamborghini (both brands part of the VW conglomerate), the Volkswagen Phaeton was produced between 2002-2016 as a four-door sedan in a standard and LWB (long-wheelbase configurations), the Phaeton name nothing to do with the traditional definition and chosen presumably because it was thought to impart some vague notion of exclusivity and wealth.  The name may have come from focus group sessions or have been MBA (Master of Business Administration) marketing-think but, in retrospect, naming it after a figure from Greek mythology who "crashed & burned" was perhaps tempting the gods of fate.  Because cars now mostly "look alike" (everybody's shapes now emerge from a wind-tunnel looking much the same), it's no longer as easy to fashion "brand identity" with appearance so the choice of name can help and what the company was at the time attempting to do was make people perceive Volkswagen as a true "luxury brand", the "modest success" (ie failure) enjoyed when the W8 engine was between 2001-2004 offered at high-price in the smaller VW Passat seemingly not a sufficiently salutatory lesson.  Volkswagen would once have had a solid base from which to "mover up-market because the Beetle (Type 1, 1938-2003), despite being a "low-priced" car, gained an admirable reputation for quality; inside, if felt as if forged from a billet of steel.  Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever and after 1974, when the company's shift to the flimsier world of FWD (front-wheel-drive) began in earnest, that reputation suffered; in a sense, the "Phaeton project" began a quarter century too late.  Why the MBAs didn’t take note of why Toyota created Lexus (so they would have their own "Audi") isn’t clear but they may have been the same folk who couldn’t understand the Maybach name made sense positioned below Mercedes-Benz, not above.  The principles used in the washing powder business or other sectors in which the MBAs have done good work are not universally transferable.

Mercedes-Benz 600 (W100, 1963-1981) Landaulet and two (SWB) sedans.

The 1970 Pullman Landaulet (one of twelve known informally as the "presidential" because the folding portion of the roof extended to the driver's compartment, the other 58 Landaulets having a convertible top only over the rear seat) was purchased by the Romanian government and used by comrade president Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; General Secretary of the Romanian Communist Party 1965-1989) until he and his wife were executed (by AK47) after a “people's tribunal” held a brief trial, the swiftness of which was aided by the court-appointed defense counsel who declared them both guilty, inter alia, of genocide.   Considering the fate of other fallen dictators, their end was less gruesome than might have been expected.  Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; prime-minister or president of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) had a similar car (among other 600s) but he died undisturbed in his bed.

The blue SWB (short wheelbase) car to the rear is one of the few SWB models fitted with a divider between the front & rear compartments, the structure including a pair of hand-crafted timber writing tables and a refrigerated bar in the centre.  It was delivered in 1977 to the Iranian diplomatic service and maintained for the Shah’s use.  The 1969 SWB to the right (identified as a US market car by the disfiguring headlight treatment) had a less eventful past, purchased by a California real estate developer who took advantage of the Mercedes-Benz EDP (European Delivery Program, discontinued in 2020 after some 60 years), collecting the 600 from the Stuttgart factory.  With due respect to Californian property developers (and Paul VI (1897-1978; pope 1963-1978) who had a very special one), more than any other car the 600 seemed to attract dictators, leading drug dealers, megalomaniacs and those with dubious past or present (many owing several), the roll-call including:

Park Chung Hee (1917–1979; President of RoK (Republic of Korea (South Korea)) 1962-1979).

Comrade Enver Hoxha (1908-1985; dictator of Albanian 1944-1985) who was more of a Stalinist than comrade Stalin.

Pol Pot (Saloth Sâr; 1925–1998; dictator of the communist (Maoist) state of Democratic Kampuchea (Cambodia) 1975-1979).

François "Papa Doc" Duvalier (1907–1971; President of Haiti 1957-1971).

Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier (1951–2014; President of Haiti 1971-1986) who would have been a disappointment to his father.

Jean-Bédel Bokassa (1921–1996; President or Emperor of the CAR (Central African Republic) 1966-1979) who was never convicted of cannibalism.

Comrade Leonid Brezhnev (1906–1982; Soviet leader 1964-1982) who was fond of cars but an appallingly bad driver.

Comrade Fidel Castro (1926–2016; Prime Minister or President of Cuba 1959-2008).

Robert Mugabe (1924–2019; Prime Minister or President of Zimbabwe 1980-2017) who started off well.

Hirohita (Emperor Shōwa) 1901–1989; Emperor of Japan 1926-1989), the last of the World War II leaders and the one who worked out (after the dropping of two A-bombs) that "...the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan's advantage".   

Jomo Kenyatta (circa 1897–1978; Prime Minister (1963-1964) & president of Kenya (1964-1978).

Daniel arap Moi (1924–2020; President of Kenya 1978-2002).

Ferdinand Marcos (1917–1989; President of the Philippines 1965-1986), now most famous for his wife having owned thousands of pairs of shoes. 

Kim Il Sung (Kim I, 1912–1994; Great Leader of DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea)) 1948-1994).

Kim Jong Il (Kim II, 1941-2011; Dear Leader of DPRK 1994-2011).

Kim Jong Un (Kim III, b 1982; Supreme Leader of DPRK since 2011 and thus far the dynasty's most entertaining content provider).

Saddam Hussein (1937–2006; President of Iraq 1979-2003).

Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (1919–1980; last Shah of Iran 1941-1979).

Comrade Chairman Mao Zedong (1893–1976; Chairman of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) & paramount leader of the PRC (People's Republic of China) 1949-1976).

Comrade Deng Xiaoping (1904–1997; paramount leader of the PRC (People's Republic of China) 1978-1989).

Norodom Sihanouk (1922–2012; variously, off and on, King, head of state or Prime Minister of Cambodia 1941-2012) for whom the word "mercurial" might have been coined. 

Comrade Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; General Secretary of the Romanian Communist Party and dictator of Romania 1965-1989) who got the wife he deserved.

Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; Prime Minister or President of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) who once threatened to send an assassin to kill comrade Stalin if the Soviet leader sent any more to Belgrade to murder him.  

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, (1928-2003; president of Uganda 1971-1979).  He also claimed the allegedly vacant throne of Scotland 

Mobutu Sese Seko (1930–1997; President of the of the DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo) 1965-1971 and the (renamed) Zaire 1971-1997) for whom the political technique "Mobutoism" (a blend of crony capitalism, repression, murder and looting the state on such a scale was coined, "kleptocracy" not an adequate description. 

Herbert von Karajan (1908–1989; Austrian conductor who was only ever a "Nazi of convenience).

Coco Chanel, (1883-1971; French fashion designer forgiven for her indiscretions).

Hastings Banda (circa 1900-1997; Prime Minister or President of 1964-1994) who wasn't quite as bad as some.

Hosni Mubarak (1928–2020; President of Egypt 1981-2011) who sometimes shouted at Bill Clinton (b 1946; POTUS 1993-2001).

Balthazar Johannes "John" Vorster (1915–1983 Prime Minister (1966-1978) and President of South Africa 1978-1979).

Pieter Willem "P.W." Botha (1916–2006 Prime Minister (1978-1984) and President of South Africa 1984-1989).

Frederik Willem "F.W." de Klerk (1936–2021; President of South Africa 1989-1994) who found the state's 600 Pullman "embarrassingly large and otherwise excessive" and had it locked away in a garage.

General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq (1924-1988; military ruler of Pakistan 1977-1988).

Omar Bongo (1935–2009; President of Gabon 1967-2009) who "stole a few bob".

Silvio Berlusconi (1936-2023; Prime Minister of Italy 1994-1995, 2001-2006 & 2008-2011) who got a bit of fun out of life.

Pablo Escobar (1949–1993; Colombian drug lord, narcoterrorist and zookeeper)

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto (1928–1979; President (1971-1973) and Prime Minister (1973-1977) of Pakistan, a member of one of the several families to have run Pakistan on the same basis as a "small family business".

Jeremy Clarkson (b 1960; former BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) television presenter and now owner of Diddly Squat Farm).  Just as the 600's reputation was beginning to recover from the association with murderous dictators, drug lords and such, it was revealed Mr Clarkson owned one.  Experts suggest there may be no recovering from that.

The Shah's 600s at the Tehran Car Museum.

In exile, the Shah of Iran died of natural causes after being deposed in the 1979 revolution which created the Islamic Republic of Iran under the rule of the Imam, Grand Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini (1900-1989; Supreme Leader, Islamic Republic of Iran, 1979-1989).  The ayatollah's taste in cars was more modest but three of the Shah's Mercedes-Benz 600s are among the dozens on display (over a hundred in storage or undergoing restoration) at the Tehran Car Museum, open to the public Sunday-Wednesday (09:00-17:30) & Thursday & Friday (09:00-18:30).  It is closed on Saturday.   The museum is located at Azadi Square, Special Karaj Road, near Sepah Store while the office is situated on Resalat Highway, not far from Africa Highway, at the Foundation of the Oppressed, Building Number One, Fourth Floor, Cultural Institute of Museums.

That class of clientele associated with the 600 wasn't as drawn to the Volkswagen Phaeton.  For the top VW there were six cylinder petrol and diesel engines and even a V10 diesel but what attracted most interest (if not buyers) was the choice of a 4.2 litre (255 cubic inch) V8 or a 6.0 litre (366 cubic inch) W12, the most potent of the latter rated at a then impressive 444 HP (horsepower).  Unfortunately, most who could afford the hefty price lingered not long over the impressive specification but focused instead on the badge, still so associated with the old Beetle.  By all accounts, the Phaeton was a fine piece of engineering and highly regarded by the critics but, over fifteen years, fewer than 85,000 were sold, the line never profitable and the depreciation on the W12 was famously high, the failure of the range always explained by the lack of cachet the VW brand enjoyed at that end of the market.  Failure is however a relative term, Mercedes-Benz in the 18-odd years between 1963-1981 managed to produce only 2677 of their sinister 600s yet it lent the marque a luster that, although tarnished by some decisions and products of the last quarter-century, lingers to this day, despite the tireless efforts by MBAs to devalue things.  Although doubtlessly also sold at a loss, Mercedes-Benz gained much from the 600; VW got little from the Phaeton.