Guillotine

Guillotine (pronounced gil-uh-teen)

(1) An apparatus designed efficiently to carry out executions by decapitation.

(2) In medicine, an instrument used surgically to remove the tonsils.

(3) Any of various machines in which a vertical blade between two parallel uprights descends to cut or trim metal, stacks of paper etc.

(4) To truncate or cut.

(5) A technical procedure permitted in some parliaments which provides for an early termination of the time usually allocated to debate a bill, forcing an immediate vote.

(6) In philosophy, as “Hume's guillotine”, a synonym of “Hume's law”, the idea that what ought to be the case cannot be deduced from what is already the case; named after the Scottish philosopher and historian David Hume (1711–1776).

(7) In law, as “guillotine clause”, a contractual stipulation that the adoption of the overall contractual package requires adoption of all of the individual treaties or contracts within it; the clause often appears in international treaties or agreements between sub-national entities.

(8) In historic French slang, as “dry guillotine”, the deportation to a penal colony.

Circa 1791: The guillotine was named after Joseph Guillotin (1738-1814), the French physician who advocated its adoption.  The surname Guillotin was of French origin and was from the Old French personal name Guillot, a diminutive of "Guillaume" (the French form of William, meaning “will” or “desire” + “helmet” or “protection” which, macabrely, is amusing given the later association with the guillotine). The “-in” suffix is a common diminutive in French surnames, meaning “little” (in the sense of “younger”) or “son of”.  Still today, the surname Guillotin is found primarily in western France, particularly in regions like Brittany (Bretagne), Normandy, and the Loire Valley and probably began as a patronymic, identifying the bearer as “the son of Guillot”.  Guillotine & guillotining are nouns & verbs and guillotined is a verb; the noun plural is guillotines.  Although use of the verb is attested only from 1794, etymologists seem to agree it would have come into oral use simultaneously with the noun.

The classic guillotine consists of a tall, upright frame in which a weighted and angled blade is raised to the top and suspended.  The condemned person is secured with stocks at the bottom of the frame, positioning the neck directly below the blade. The blade is then released, swiftly to fall, forcefully decapitating the victim in a single pass, the head falling into a basket below.  In 1789, having witnessed the sometimes prolonged suffering caused by other methods of execution, Dr Joseph Guillotin (1738-1814), then a deputy in the National Assembly, had commended the guillotine to the authorities, his notes at the time indicating he was concerned with (1) efficiency of process, (2) a humanitarian concern for the victim and (3), the effect less expeditious methods had on executioners (and of the three, it was only the first and third which would later induce the Nazis to abandon mass-shootings of the Jews and instead create an industrialized process).  The French administration agreed and several guillotines were built in 1791, the first execution the following year.  Approvingly reporting the efficiency of the machine, the Universal Magazine of Knowledge and Pleasure in January 1793 noted "The name of the machine in which the axe descends in grooves from a considerable height so that the stroke is certain and the head instantly severed from the body."  The device also affected Scottish historian Thomas Carlyle (1795–1881) who, in his seminal French Revolution (1837), was moved to observe "This is the product of Guillotin's endeavors, ... which product popular gratitude or levity christens by a feminine derivative name, as if it were his daughter: La Guillotine! ... Unfortunate Doctor! For two-and-twenty years he, unguillotined, shall hear nothing but guillotine, see nothing but guillotine; then dying, shall through long centuries wander, as it were, a disconsolate ghost, on the wrong side of Styx and Lethe; his name like to outlive Cæsar's."  For better or worse, historians no longer write like that.

Sterling silver cigar cutter (1994) by Theo Fennell (b 1951).

A finely crafted piece, the upright frame contained a sprung, angled blade with retaining chain, the cigar tip tumbling into a gilded silver basket after the blade descends to the stocks.  The base was of honed, black slate with a sterling silver cartouche ready for engraving, the unit supplied in a bespoke, two-door presentation case.  At auction, it sold for Stg£2,000 (cigar not included).

Born in Saintes, Dr Guillotin emerged as a prominent member of the Constituent Assembly in Paris and although philosophically opposed to capital punishment, he was a realist and wished executions done in a more humane manner and, very much in the spirit of the times, for the one method to be used for all social classes.  He recommended a machine known at the time as the “Louison” or “Louisette”, the nickname derived from the French surgeon and physiologist Dr Antoine Louis (1723-1792) who designed the prototype although it was built by German engineer and harpsichord maker Tobias Schmidt, the process typical of the division of labor in Europe at the time.  It was Herr Schmidt who suggested using a diagonal blade rather than the round shape borrowed from the executioner’s axe and, with his knowledge of anatomy, Dr Louis calculated what came to be known as the “angle of Louis”, an alternative term for the "sternal angle" (the point of junction between the manubrium and the body of the sternum).  The advocacy of Dr Guillotin however received more publicity and, much to his regret, “Guillotine” captured the public imagination, his family so embarrassed by the connection they later changed the family name.  A confessed Freemason, Dr Guillotin died of natural causes in his Paris home, aged 75 and was buried in the city’s Père-Lachaise Cemetery.

One of the kitten-heel shoes worn by Marie Antoinette (1755–1793; Queen Consort of France 1774-1792) on the day of her execution, 16 October 1793.  

While ascending the stairs to the guillotine, she tripped, stepped on the executioner's foot and lost her shoe, something of a harbinger to what she’d lose a few moments later.  The shoe was later recovered and is now on display at the Musée des Beaux-Arts de Caen.

Although Dr Guillotin regretted his name being associated with the contraption, the true origin wasn't even French.  While the date such a thing was first used is unknown it seems almost certainly a medieval creation, an early English record indicating a mechanical beheading device was in use in Halifax in West Yorkshire; then called the Halifax Gibbet, the decapitation of an unfortunate Mr John Dalton recorded in 1286.  A sixteenth century engraving named The Execution of Murcod Ballagh Near to Merton in Ireland 1307 shows a similar machine suggesting use also in medieval Ireland and Scotland, from the mid-sixteenth century until the abolition of use circa 1710; it was called the Maiden which seems to have been functionally identical to the Halifax Gibbet.  In Italy, most un-euphemistically, it was called the Mannaia (cleaver).  Over the years, it attracted many nicknames, some sardonically deployed as the equivalent of gallows humour including La Monte-à-regret (The Regretful Climb), Le Rasoir National (The National Razor), La Veuve (The Widow), Le Moulin à Silence (The Silence Mill), La Bécane (The Machine), Le Massicot (The Cutter), La Cravate à Capet (Capet's Necktie (Capet being Louis XVI (1754–1793; King of France 1774-1792)) & La Raccourcisseuse Patriotique (The Patriotic Shortener).

Marie Antoinette's execution on October 16, 1793 (Unknown artist).

The carts famously used to take victims to the guillotine during the Reign of Terror (the period in the mid-1790s after the declaration of the First Republic, marked by massacres, public executions, anti-clericalism and internecine political struggle) were called tumbrels although many illustrations depict the use of four-wheeled carts rather than tumbrels.  Presumably both types were used but historians generally believe it was usually the tumbrel because the revolutionaries preferred the symbolism of something used usually for moving dung or rubbish and suggest artists preferred the four-wheelers simply for compositional reasons.  The noun tumbrel (two-wheeled cart for hauling dung, stones etc) was from mid-fifteenth century French, a name, curiously perhaps, used in the early thirteenth century to describe what some eighteenth century dictionaries described as a mysterious “instrument of punishment of uncertain type” but which turned out to be (1) a name for the cucking stool used, inter alia, to conduct the dunking in water of women suspected of this and that and (2) was a type of medieval balancing scale used to weigh coins.  It was from the Old French tomberel (dump cart) (which exists in Modern French as tombereau), from tomber ((let) fall or tumble), possibly from a Germanic source, perhaps the Old Norse tumba (to tumble), the Old High German tumon (to turn, reel).

Public guillotining of Eugen Weidmann, Versailles, 1939.

The records from the early days of the revolution are understandably sketchy but the first guillotine was likely that crafted by German harpsichord maker Tobias Schmidt which first was used on 25 April 1792, the term “guillotine” appearing first in print in a report by the journalist Louis René Quentin de Richebourg de Champcenetz (1759-1794) who, in another journalistic scoop, was later guillotined.  Although synonymous with the French Revolution, during which some seventeen thousand were beheaded, the guillotine remained the nation's official method of capital punishment until the death penalty was abolished in 1981.  The highwayman Nicolas Jacques Pelletier (circa 1756–1792) was the first victim while the last public guillotining was of Eugen Weidmann (1908-1939) who, convicted of six murders, was beheaded in Versailles on 17 June 1939.  The final drop of the blade came when murderer Hamida Djandoubi’s (1949-1977) sentence was carried out in Marseille on 10 September 1977.

Boucles d'oreilles pendantes guillotine en laiton (guillotine drop earrings in brass), cut and engraved, Paris, circa 1880.

In France, until the onset of modernity with the coming of the twentieth century, artistic and decorative representations of the guillotine proliferated because the bloody events of the 1790s had made the instrument a symbol of republican patriotism.  Methods of execution now appear less as fashion items although there was a revival associated when the punk movement went mainstream in the mid-1970s (anarchists, revolutionaries and such less inclined to trivialize what they intended soon to be a serious business). In recent years, models in nooses have however strutted the catwalks generating outrage which, measured in column inches, photographs and clicks, was of course the point of them donning the macabre accessory.  For those nostalgic for the days of la révolution, made with a variety of materials, guillotine drop earrings are available on-line.

Paper trimming guillotine.

The device was used in many European countries until well after the Second World War but, perhaps predictability, none were as enthusiastic as the Nazis.  Having been used in various German states since the seventeenth century and being the preferred method of execution in Napoleonic times (circa 1799-1815), guillotine and firing squad were the legal methods of execution during both the Second Reich (1871–1918) and the Weimar Republic (1919–1933).  For the Nazis however, it was just another way to industrialize mass-murder and under the Third Reich (1933-1945), 16,500 were guillotined including 10,000 in 1944–1945 alone although, after the attempt on his life in July 1944, Hitler wasn’t at all attracted to an efficient or humanitarian dispatch of the surviving plotters and for them specified a more gruesome method.  The guillotine was used for the last time in the FRG (Bundesrepublik Deutschland (Federal Republic of Germany; the old West Germany) 1949-1990) in 1949 though use in the GDR (Deutsche Demokratische Republik (German Democratic Republic; the old East Germany) 1949-1990) persisted until 1966, mostly by the Ministerium für Staatssicherheit (Ministry for State Security, better known as the Stasi) for secret executions.

Brandenburg prison fallbeil now on display at the Deutsche Historisches Museum.  Unlike most of the Tegel machines, it's un-painted and not fitted with a blade shield although the rather crude construction (using unfinished wood planks and four hefty, unadorned wooden legs) is characteristic of the Tegel design.  Some other Tegel fallbeils have had some of the timber members replaced with square metal tubing.

The German for guillotine is fallbeil (literally "axe-method" which is pleasingly informative).  The Nazis increased the number of capital offences in the criminal code and consequently, there was a drastic increase in the number of executions in the Reich.  To meet the demand, many prisons were designated as execution sites, sixteen gazetted by 1942, all equipped with metal (Mannhardt) fallbeils, the standardized procedure for execution as typically exact and bureaucratic as anything in the German civil service.  The first fallbeils were made from wood and built by the inmates of the Tegel prison in Berlin (hence the name) while the later Mannhardt design (fabricated from steel) was more sophisticated, including an external pulley frame and, thoughtfully, a hinged sheet-metal cover to protect the executioner from "blood spray".

The help admiring a SWB 600.

It’s at least arguable the Mercedes-Benz 600 (M100, 1963-1981) was the last car which, upon its introduction, could be called “the best car in the world”.  Some publications used exactly that phrase when their road-test reports appeared and about all the review in US magazine Road & Track found to complain about was (1) the choice of where to place the driver’s ashtray was obviously the decision of a non-smoker and (2) the air-conditioning (AC) was primitive compare with what was installed in Cadillacs, Lincolns and Imperials (or for that matter, Chevrolets, Fords and Plymouths).  The factory did improve ashtray placement (before social change drove them extinct) but it took decades for it to produce AC systems as good as those from Detroit although, impressionistically, probably nothing has ever matched the icy blasts possible in 1960s Cadillacs and such.

A 600 Pullman on location, 2011.

Lindsay Lohan (b 1986) & Grant Bowler (b 1968) during the filming of Liz & Dick (2012), a “biopic” of the famously tempestuous relationship between the actors Elizabeth Taylor (1932–2011) & Richard Burton (1925–1984).  The car is a Mercedes-Benz 600  four-door Pullman with the vis-a-vis seating.  The flagstaffs (installed in this instance above the front wheel arches) were usually fitted to cars used by governments or the corps diplomatique.

An extraordinary technical achievement, despite its run of 18-odd years, the 600 was a commercial failure with only 2677 built, the 408 (345 sedans & 63 Pullmans) which left the line in the first year of full production (1965) an encouraging start but that proved the high point, the decline precipitous after 1972 when the 600 was withdrawn from the US market, the costs of complying with the new regulations (as well as uncertainty about what was to come) just too onerous to be justified for such a low-volume model.  Although there were examples of special coachwork (armour plating, higher roof versions and even a couple of coupés)  the 600 appeared in three basic forms, the SWB ("short" wheelbase) four-door sedan, the LWB (long wheelbase) Pullmans (in four & six door form) and the Pullman Landaulets (with two lengths of retractable roof); the breakdown was 2,190 sedans, 428 Pullmans and 59 Landaulets.

The car of kings, dictators and real estate developers.

The 1970 Pullman Landaulet (one of twelve known informally as the "presidential" because the folding portion of the roof extended to the driver's compartment, the other 58 Landaulets having a convertible top only over the rear seat) was purchased by the Romanian government and used by comrade president Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; general secretary of the Romanian Communist Party 1965-1989) until he and his wife were executed (by Kalashnikov assault rifle) after a “people's tribunal” held a brief trial, the swiftness of which was aided by the court-appointed defense counsel who declared them both guilty of the genocide of which, among other crimes, they were charged.  Considering the fate of other fallen dictators, their end was less gruesome than might have been expected.  Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; prime-minister or president of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) had a similar car (among other 600s) but he died undisturbed in his bed.  The blue SWB (short wheelbase) car to the rear is one of the few SWB models fitted with a divider between the front & rear compartments including hand-crafted timber writing tables and a refrigerated bar in the centre console.  It was delivered in 1977 to the Iranian diplomatic service and maintained for the Shah’s use.  The 1969 sedan to the right (identified as a US market car by the disfiguring headlight treatment) had a less eventful past, purchased by a California real estate developer, who took advantage of the Mercedes-Benz European Delivery Program (discontinued in 2020 after some sixty years), collecting the 600 from the Stuttgart factory.

KCNA (Korean Central News Agency) footage of the DPRK Youth Parade, Pyongyang, DPRK, 2012.  The KCNA (its headquarters at 1 Potonggang-dong in Pyongyang's Potonggang District) may be the world's most productive state news agency and is the best source for new Kim Jong-Un content. 

At the 2012 Youth Parade, all in the full stadium were happy and enthusiastic, delighted no doubt to be the only audience on the planet able to see two long-roof Mercedes-Benz 600 Landaulets together.  The DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea) should not be confused with the "puppet state" RoK (Republic of Korea (South Korea)).  Kim Il-Sung (Kim I, 1912–1994; Great Leader of DPRK 1948-1994) purchased a brace of presidential Landaulets which he passed down the line (along with the rest of North Korea) to his descendants Kim Jong-Il (Kim II, 1941-2011; Dear Leader of DPRK1994-2011) & Kim Jong-Un (Kim III, b 1982; Supreme Leader of DPRK since 2011).    Evil dictators and real estate developers are one thing but the television personality Jeremy Clarkson (b 1960) also owned a (SWB) 600 and from that the car's reputation may never have recovered.  

Staged publicity shot of 1966 Mercedes-Benz 600s.

A four-door Pullman (left) and SWB (right) parked outside the Hotel Vierjahreszeiten, Munich, Bavaria, FRG.  This shot illustrates the difference between the two platforms, the Pullman's additional length all in the wheelbase (the Pullman's was 3,900 mm (153½ inches) against the sedan's 3,200 mm (126 inch).  The factory initially called the sedans “limousines” because that was the traditional German term for a four door sedan (or saloon) but they’re commonly referred to also as the SWB (short wheelbase), the Pullmans very definitely a LWB (long wheelbase).

1966 Mercedes-Benz 600 SWB, Place de la Concorde, Paris, France.

The 600’s famously smooth ride and remarkably capable handling was achieved with a suspension system using air-bellows but more intricate still was the engine-drive hydraulic system with which could be controlled the raising and lowering of the windows and central divider (installed on all but one of the Pullmans and optional on the SWBs), the setting of the shock absorbers (dampers), the opening and closing of the sun-roofs (it was possible on Pullmans to order two!) and the positions of the seats.  Additionally, the closing of the trunk (boot) lid and doors were hydraulically controlled although the hood (bonnet) needed to be raised manually; the factory was clearly more concerned for the comfort of passengers than mechanics.  To achieve all this, the plumbing’s fittings included 30 hydraulic switches, 12 double-acting hydraulic cylinders, 10 single-acting cylinders, six self-resetting single-acting units, a pump, a reservoir, and an accumulator, all connected by 3.5 mm (⅛ inch) internal-diameter lines coursing with hydraulic oil at a pressure of 2,176 psi (150-bar).  As might be imagined, to even experienced automotive engineers & mechanics, the schematic appeared of Byzantine complexity but to those accustomed to the hydraulics of heavy machinery it seemed simple, the only novelty being components unusually small.  The pressure of the system was high enough (twice that of a typical fire hose), if ruptured, to pierce human flesh although, reassuringly, below what’s needed to cut through bone.  Just to prove safety warnings are not something recent, the high pressure warranted a passage in a notably thick publication: Workshop Manual, Type 600, The Grand Mercedes: “It cannot be too highly stressed that it is mortally dangerous to open the oil-pressure container!”  Although the silently operating hydraulic system did offer the advantage of eliminating the noise which would have been generated had electric motors been used, the real attraction was the elimination of an estimated 800 metres (2600 feet) of wiring and more than a dozen motors (and it would have been a challenge to fit them all in the existing structure).

The Guillotine.

A Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan in the now closed Kemp Auto Museum in Saint Louis, Missouri, is used to demonstrate why the hydraulically activated trunk (boot) lid was known to wary technicians as “the guillotine”.  This is the lid closing with the hydraulics on the most hungry setting.

1966 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman Landaulet with the shorter of the two folding roofs.

The trunk-lid’s single hydraulic cylinder can bring the steel panel down with alarming force so service personnel decided it deserved to be nicknamed “the guillotine”.  It was however adjustable to reduce the potential to damage fingers (at least there was an attempt to minimize risk; from certain manufacturers, some of the early electric windows didn’t include a clutching mechanism and were capable of crushing the match boxes often used to demonstrate the danger to dawdling digits).  The 600’s hydraulic system was well-built and used high quality components but the factory knew nothing is indestructible and every car included in the trunk a box containing (1) four wedges to force between the glass and the jambs to keep the windows up and (2) a set of pins which could be inserted to keep the squabs of the front seats upright.  Indeed, the door closing apparatus proved troublesome (tales of expensive dresses ruined by a squirt of hydraulic fluid part of the 600 legend) and wasn’t fitted after 1967 but the guillotine remained standard equipment until the end.

Insipid & Sapid

Insipid (pronounced in-sip-id)

(1) Without distinctive, interesting, or stimulating qualities; vapid.

(2) Something or someone dull or uninteresting; lacking character or definition.

(3) Food or drink lacking sufficient taste to be pleasing; bland, unappetizingly flavorless.

1610–1620: From the sixteenth century French insipid (without taste or perceptible flavor), from the Late Latin insipidus (tasteless), the construct being in- (in the sense of negation) + -sipidus (savory; tasty), a form of sapidus (sapid) from sapere (have a taste (and used also to mean “be wise”)).  The figurative (ie not of food or drink) meaning (uninteresting, dull) emerged in English in the 1640s and it’s believed this was under the influence of Medieval Latin or the Romance languages, where it was a secondary sense.  The noun insipidity was in use by the early seventeenth century.  The choice of synonym can depend on whether what is being described is food & drink or something (or someone) else and the options include banal, bland, ho-hum, innocuous, trite, vapid, tasteless, bland, wearish, boring, vacuous, dull, bland, characterless & colourless.  In English, in some senses the use has been influenced by insipient (unwise, foolish, stupid; lacking wisdom).  Insipient was from the Middle English insipient & incipient, from the Old French insipient, ultimately from the Latin īnsipiēns.  For the fastidious, the comparative is “more insipient”, the superlative “most insipient”).  Insipid is an adjective, insipidity & insipidness are nouns and insipidly is an adverb.

Sapid (pronounced sap-id)

(1) Having taste or flavor (and used specifically to mean “savory”).

(2) Agreeable to the taste; palatable.

(3) Agreeable, as to the mind; to one's liking.

1625-1635: From the Latin sapidus (tasty), from sapere or sapiō (to taste).  The original meaning in English was “having the power of affecting the organs of taste (when used of food & drink or other substances)” while the figurative sense suggested something “gratifying to the mind or its tastes”.  The adjective sipid has the same meaning as sapid and was a mid-nineteenth century back-formation from insipid (on the model of “gruntled” from “disgruntled”) whereas sapid was a direct borrowing from Latin.  Both sapid & sipid can be used to mean “having a taste or flavor; savoury” but unlike insipid which remains in wide use (both in the original context of food & drink and figuratively), neither have ever attained much currency and it’s not unreasonable for both to be listed as obsolete.  Sapid is an adjective, sapidity & sapidness are nouns.

The infamously insipid Koryo Burger, the in-flight delicacy offered by Air Koryo, national carrier of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK; North Korea).

In a sense, what words flourish (or at least endure) in English is because of the operation of something of a popularity contest.  While there are style guides, text books and grammar Nazis to tell us which words to use and in what manner, English has no body such as the French government’s Académie Française (council for matters pertaining to the French language) which publishes the a variety of documents which may be said collectively to define what is “official French”.  The Académie had an interesting political history, beginning as a private venture it received the imprimatur of both church & state when in 1635 it was granted a royal charter by Cardinal Richelieu (1585-1642; chief minister (chancellor or prime-minister) to the King of France 1624-1642) during the reign of Louis XIII (1601–1643; King of France 1610-1643) but was dissolved 1793 during the French Revolution (1789), partly because of the mob’s anti-royalist feelings but also because there was some resentment among the peasantry (an in the provinces generally) to the notion of a Parisian elite deciding whose dialect was “right” and whose was “wrong”.  That’s exactly the same dispute which now bubbles in US universities between (1) those who insist there is “correct” standard English while other forms are dialectal variations (ethnic, regional, class etc) and (2) those who argue for a cultural equivalency between all forms, most notably AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) and its many forks.  In 1795 the new regime in France created the Institut de France (Institute of France) as a kind of clearing house for all matters relating to what was “acceptable” French culture, absorbing some pre-existing scientific, literary and artistic bodies and it was to the institute that Napoleon Bonaparte (1769–1821; leader of the French Republic 1799-1804 & Emperor of the French from 1804-1814 & 1815) in 1803 restored the Académie Française as a division.

Portrait of Goethe, oil on paper by Italian artist Elia Bonetti (b 1983).

Spain’s Real Academia Española (Royal Academy of Spain) is a similar body but perhaps surprisingly (given all the stereotypes of the Prussians) there is in Germany no central authority defining the German language, several organizations and institutions working (cooperatively and not) together standardize and update things.  The most authoritative body for German orthography is the Rat für deutsche Rechtschreibung (Council for German Orthography), the membership of which includes representatives from other German-speaking countries (Austria, Switzerland etc) and its mandate extends to overseeing spelling and orthographic rules, something not without controversy, especially since the great spelling “reform” of 1996.  In the spirit of the post-1945 spirit of avoiding where possible the creation of all-powerful single institutions, it’s the Duden dictionary and Institut für Deutsche Sprache (Institute for the German Language) which exert great influence in in maintaining and documenting German vocabulary, grammar and usage, but both tend to be observational, recording changes in the language rather than seeking to enforce rules (ie they are descriptive rather than prescriptive).  German thus evolves through the combined influence of these institutions, public usage, and scholarly input, rather than through a single authoritative academy and internationally it’s probably the Goethe-Institut (Goethe Institute, named after the German author & philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749–1832)) which most promotes the study of German language & culture through its worldwide network of some 160 centres.

English is more democratic still, the survival of words and grammatical forms dependent on the users and even before the British Empire saw the tongue spread around the world the foreign influences were profound, the Latin, Greek, French & Germanic threads the most obvious and even to speak of the “Old English” is misleading to all but those in the field because to most, the “Old English” really isn’t recognizable as “English”.  Not only does modern English thus evolve but so do the other blends such as “Spanglish” (a hybrid of Spanish & English), Hinglish (Hindi & English) and its absurd to speak of “pure English”, even the way BBC announcers used to speak (in the so-called “RP” (received pronunciation) often including fragments picked up from the Raj and around the world.  While the Académie Française may try to keep French as pure as possible, English shamelessly is linguistically slutty.

Lindsay Lohan (with body-double) during filming of Irish Wish (Netflix, 2024) which the Daily Beast concluded wasn't exactly “insipid”.  The car is a Triumph TR4 (1961-1967), one of the early versions with a live rear axle, a detail probably of no significance in the plot-line.

In this democratic way, insipid has endured because it fills a niche that sapid & sipid never found, in both usage & meaning.  Vividly, insipid conveys the notion of something lacking flavor, excitement, or interest, whether literally (vapid food or drink) or figuratively (dull conversation or ideas).  This negative association has a broad and (regrettably) frequent application in everyday language, there so often being a need to decry things or people as uninteresting or failing to make an impact.  By contrast, although sapid & sipid both mean “food having flavour”, there’s less need because that’s expected and what’s usually sought is a way to say the quality is lacking and terms of emphasis came to be preferred: “flavoursome” “tasty” and such taking over although none were as precise as the practical & versatile “insipid” which proved the perfect one-word descriptor whether literally or figuratively.  Insipid is useful too because it’s nuanced in that it although used usually as negative, it’s also a “neutral word” in the sense of “bland”.  When the Daily Beast was searching for similes & metaphors in their review of Irish Wish (released in 2024 as the second edition of Lindsay Lohan’s three film Netflix deal), they opted also to “damn with faint praise” observing because the Netflix’s target audience “merely want to watch something that isn’t insipid and horribly made”, maybe the film (sort of) succeeded.  So insipid has survived because it fulfils needs while sapid & sipid are now little more than linguistic curiosities.

Insipid, sipid & sapid: The votes are in.

Because of the way Google harvests data for their ngrams, they’re not literally a tracking of the use of a word in society but can be usefully indicative of certain trends, (although one is never quite sure which trend(s)), especially over decades.  As a record of actual aggregate use, ngrams are not wholly reliable because: (1) the sub-set of texts Google uses is slanted towards the scientific & academic and (2) the technical limitations imposed by the use of OCR (optical character recognition) when handling older texts of sometime dubious legibility (a process AI should improve).  Where numbers bounce around, this may reflect either: (1) peaks and troughs in use for some reason or (2) some quirk in the data harvested.

Parcopresis

Parcopresis (pronounced par-kop-ruh-sys)

In mental health, a spectrum condition ranging from a marked reluctance (with associated symptoms of psychological distress) to a physical inability to defecate in situations where others will be aware of the activity.

2010s: The word was modelled on paruresis (the inability to urinate in the presence (even if visually segregated) of others), the construct being par(a)- (abnormal, defective) +‎ uresis (urination).  Parcopresis was built by substituting copro- (relating to excrement or dung), from the Ancient Greek κόπρος (kópros) (excrement) for uro- (urine; relating to urine and the urinary system), from the Ancient Greek οὖρον (oûron).  Parcopresis is a noun.  As a class, medical conditions are an exception to the conventions of the English language governing the construction of a noun plural or adjective.  There is no recognized noun plural for parcopresis because medical conditions tend to be referred to in the singular (in the way neither “diabetes” or “arthritis” has a companion noun plural) so the usual practice would be to use phrases like “cases of parcopresis” or “patients with parcopresis”.  Less controversial would be an adjectival form which, following the conventions of English, presumably would be constructed as parcopretic or parcopresic (modelled on the way “psychosis” becomes “psychotic”).  There seems however no evidence of such use and the practice by clinicians remains to use phrases like “patient(s) suffering from parcopresis” or “patient(s) experiencing parcopresis-related symptoms”.  If the condition becomes more studied and more work is published, there may be inguistic innovation.

The word has in the last decade appeared with greater frequency, use triggered apparently by an appearance in 2011 when a case report on paruresis and parcopresis was published in the Revista Brasileira de Psiquiatria (the Brazilian Journal of Psychiatry), describing parcopresis as a psychogenic condition, sometimes related to social anxiety (though distinct from the better known paruresis).  However, despite that (slight) spike which presumably is indicative of some increase in interest in psychological circles, parcopresis has not yet been classified in major diagnostic systems like the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the World Health Organization’s (WHO) International Classification of Diseases (ICD)) although other sources (including the National Phobics Society) do list it as a sub-type of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD).  By contrast, the urinary counterpart (paruresis) appears in the DSM-5-TR (2022), classified as a social phobia.

In clinical use, parcopresis is known also as psychogenic fecal retention (PFR) or (more conveniently and following the clinical shorthand of paruresis being called “shy bladder”) there’s also “shy bowel” and the even better “poop shy”, defined as “the inability to defecate without a certain level of privacy (and the extent of that level varies between patients)).  It manifests thus as something ranging from a “reluctance or difficulty” associated with the symptoms of significant psychological distress (diaphoresis (excessive perspiration), tachypnoea (hyperventilation), heart palpitations, muscle tension, blushing, nausea & trembling) to actual physical inability.  Although the sample sizes are small, there are instances both of a co-morbidity with paruresis and as a stand-alone condition.  The well-understood reluctance to use public toilets related to their notoriously less than immaculate cleanliness is not an instance of parcopresis; it’s just a product of the fastidiousness in matters of hygiene which civilization has bred into populations enjoying the fruits of modernity and again, this exists on a spectrum (and, impressionistically, women exhibit higher standards than men).  Instead, the triggers for the condition are listed usually as “SSS” (sights, sounds, smells) but this refers not to the revulsion the putative pooper may feel but the fear that others may (1) be in their proximity and thus know what they’re doing, (1) hear them doing it and (3) get a whiff of the aftermath.

While toilets in shared spaces can, for some,  induce parcopresis, for others, in certain circumstances, they can provide a place of sanctuary: Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls (2004).

Parcopresis is not (yet) a medically recognized condition although the 2011 paper in the Brazilian Journal of Psychiatry did suggest it should be classified as a form of social phobia and historically there’s no requirement a syndrome being widespread to justify a classification: it needs just to have defined parameters.  The extent of the prevalence is thus less relevant than its existence although for the editors of the DSM or ICD to consider an entry would presumably be contingent upon a certain clinical utility, something which wouldn’t seem to preclude listing it among the social phobias.  As far as is known, the only studies exploring the prevalence of the condition have been those with small sample sizes conducted among university students and while obviously not representative of the broader population, all were gender-adjusted and reported between 10-20% of the study population avoided using public toilets for reasons in some way associated with parcopresis, a prevalence significantly higher in females.  By contrast, the more extensively studied paruresis is reported at a level between 2.8-16.4% of the population and is much more prevalent in males (75–92%) than females (8.1–44.6%), the usually explanation being MPSAD (male penis size anxiety disorder).

Clinicians note that although parcopresis is nominally a mental health condition, there can also be physical implications including “stools becoming lodged in the colon and the onset or exacerbation of haemorrhoids (piles).”  There’s thought to be limited scope for drug treatments beyond what anyway may be prescribed in cases of SAD or related conditions and most clinicians recommended approaches such as hypnotherapy, stress management, relaxation training and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), the latter usually in the form of graduated exposure therapy (GGT or systematic desensitization).  The CBT approach is well-documented and begins by suggesting patients be reminded “that everyone poops”.  That may not be true because in 2007, the KCNA (Korean Central News Agency, the DPRK’s (North Korea) energetic and productive state media) published a profile of Kim Jong-il (Kim II, 1941–2011; Dear Leader of DPRK (North Korea), 1994-2011) noting the physiology of the Dear Leader was so remarkable he was not subject to bowel movements, never needing to defecate or urinate.  It’s not known if this is a genetic characteristic of the dynasty and thus inherited by Kim Jong-un (Kim III, b circa 1982; Supreme Leader (originally The Great Successor) of DPRK since 2011) but this seems unlikely because the Supreme Leader is known, while on visits to remote locations within the DPRK (ballistic missile tests etc), to be accompanied by a military detail with a portable toilet for his exclusive (and reportedly not infrequent) use.

Doing The Daily Duty (by Cristina “Krydy” Guggeri); clockwise from top left: Vladimir Putin; b 1952; president or prime minister of Russia since 1999), Silvio Berlusconi (1936-2023; prime minister of Italy 1994-1995, 2001-2006 & 2008-2011), Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017), Kim Jong-un (Kim III, b 1982; Supreme Leader of DPRK (North Korea) since 2011), Francis (b 1936; pope since 2013) and Benjamin Netanyahu (b 1949; Israeli prime minister 1996-1999, 2009-2021 and since 2022).

Digital artist Cristina “Krydy” Guggeri in 2015 had a viral hit with her depictions of famous (and infamous) world leaders sitting on toilets.  Her “political pooping” project which she called “The Daily Duty” might be of help to those undergoing CBT for parcopresis, one of the recommended techniques being to “visualise a famous person they admire” in such circumstances.  Although not a clinical recommendation, presumably those suffering constipation could adopt the same therapy by visualizing a politician who “gives them the shits”.  That list might be long.

Still, the DPRK’s late and lamented Dear Leader aside, “almost everybody poops” and one intriguing recommendation for a CBT session is for a patient to visualise some famous person they particularly admire, sitting on the toilet, mid-poop.  Different patients obviously will admire a variety of celebrities so it’s a wholly subjective call although, noting the pop-culture zeitgeist, the most common current illustrative recommendation seems to be summon an image of the singer Taylor Swift (b 1989), an honor on which Ms Swift seems not to have commented.  Other practical tips include (1) carry a small air purifier or sanitizing spray to use in a public facility; depending on one’s diet and physiology, it will be necessary variously to spray pre-poop, mid-poop or post-poop, (2) line the inside of the toilet bowl with toilet paper; this will help absorb some of the sound and (3) flush several times while pooping; this will disguise the sound and reduce the smell (in Japan, this has been integrated into some public facilities by having a piped-music system play “waterfall sounds” at sufficient volume to disguise the activity of all but the most enthusiastic poopers).  Water management and conservation is now a matter of sometimes critical importance in cities so the piped sounds of splashing might become more common, the authorities unlikely much to welcome suggestions folk adopt the “multi-flush” strategy.

Montreal

Montreal (pronounced mon-tree-awl or muhn-tree-awl)

(1) A city and major port in the south of the Canadian province of Quebec, on Montreal Island at the junction of the Ottawa and St Lawrence Rivers.  The French name for the city is Montréal.

(2) An ellipsis of “Montreal Archipelago”, an archipelago on the Saint Lawrence River in Quebec, Canada, which contains the island (known also as Island of Montreal, and Montreal Island).  It’s also the name of a number of rivers and localities in North America.

(3) An Alfa Romeo model (1970-1977), the appearance of which was based on a show-car built for the 1967 Montreal Exposition.

1705 (in the sense of the city’s name): From the French Montréal (deconstructed as Mont Royal (Mount Royal), the triple-peaked feature named le mont Royal by French explorer Jacques Cartier 1491-1557), honoring Francis I (1494–1547; King of France 1515-1547).  Although surpassed in economic activity by Toronto, Montreal remains a cultural, commercial, financial, and industrial centre and, with a population of 1.8 million (the Greater Montreal metropolitan area is 4.3 million), is the second-largest French-speaking city in the world, only Paris having more.  The city lies at the foot of Mount Royal.  Montreal and Montrealer are nouns; the noun plural is Montrealers.

Lindsay Lohan at Montréal International Airport, May 2009.

The surname Mulligan was of Irish origin and was from the Gaelic Maolagan and the Old Irish Maelecan, a double diminutive of mael (bald), hence “the little bald (or shaven) one”, presumably a reference to a monk and his tonsure (the practice of shaving part of the scalp as a sign of religious devotion or humility).  As an ellipsis of “mulligan stew” (a meal made with whatever was available), it’s listed by slang dictionaries as “early twentieth century US hobo slang” and is thought derived (for reasons unknown) from the name.  In various card games, it’s used to describe an opportunity (which under some rules can attract a penalty) for a player to reshuffle their cards and draw a new initial hand at the beginning of a game; by extension from this use it has come generally to mean “a second chance”.  The best known use of “mulligan” is in golf (used without an initial capital) where it describes “re-taking a shot after a poor first attempt” and while there are several tales of the origin of the tradition (said variously to date from between 1927-1949), the most accepted involves the Country Club of Montreal golf course in Saint-Lambert.  David B Mulligan (1869–1954), it’s claimed, was one of a foursome who each week played 18 holes and he was the one who drove them to the course over “rough & rutted roads”, his reward being “an extra” shot although whether that was granted in gratitude or was his price for doing the driving isn’t mentioned.  A notable variation claims Mr Mulligan simply hit a bad shot and immediately re-teed, taking another (claiming the second was a “correction shot” so the first didn’t count on his score-card); in response his partners decided to name the practice (not within the accepted etiquette of the game) after him.

Golfer Greg Norman (b 1955) with Bill Clinton (b 1946; US president 1993-2001), about to take (another) mulligan.

US presidents often have been keen golfers.  John Kennedy (JFK, 1917–1963; US president 1961-1963) enjoyed pointing out to visitors the marks made in the White House’s polished timber floors by Dwight Eisenhower (1890-1969; US president 1953-1961) who walked on them in his golf shoes which was bad form but there’s no record of the general ever having “taken a mulligan”.  Bill Clinton was certainly keen on the game but not especially skilled and took mulligans so frequently that among themselves his Secret Service detail would bet how many would be claimed in each round.  They called them “billigans” and unless at risk of causing a diplomatic incident, Mr Clinton would cheerfully and openly take as many as he needed to enjoy the day.

Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021) addressing the ball on the first tee during the pro-am prior to the LIV Golf Invitational, Trump National Golf Club Bedminster, New Jersey, 10 August 2023.

Mr Trump denies ever having taken a mulligan, explaining his prowess by saying “I am just a good golfer and athlete”.  That must be true because in 2023 he won his club tournament at Bedminster with an impressive round, posting on his own Truth social media platform: “I am pleased to report, for those that care, that I just won the Senior Club Championship (must be over 50 years old!) at Bedminster (Trump National Golf Club), shooting a round of 67”.  Aware some might be sceptical, he added “Now, some people will think that sounds low, but there is no hanky-panky.  Many people watch, plus I am surrounded by Secret Service agents.  Not much you can do even if you wanted to, and I don’t.  For some reason, I am just a good golfer & athlete - I have won many club championships, and it’s always a great honor!”  Apparently, Mr Trump always insists on the Oxford comma, even when technically not “required” (although, according to some, it’s never required).

Kim Jong-il, the Dear Leader (centre), in his custom-built LWB (long wheelbase) golf buggy in candy apple green.

Impressive though Mr Trump’s score may seem, it would not have impressed Kim Jong-il (Kim II, 1941–2011; Dear Leader of DPRK (North Korea), 1994-2011).  According the KCNA (Korean Central News Agency, the DPRK’s energetic and productive state media), although in his entire life he only ever played one round of golf and that on the country’s notoriously difficult 7,700 yard (7040 m) course at Pyongyang, the Dear Leader took only 34 strokes to complete the 18 holes, a round which included five holes-in-ones.  Experienced golfers in the imperialist West cast doubt on the round of 34 (not commenting on the holes-in-one) but the KCNA had already pointed out the physiology of the Dear Leader was so remarkable he was not subject to bowel movements, never needing to defecate or urinate (it’s not known if this is a genetic characteristic of the dynasty and thus inherited by Kim Jong-un (Kim III, b circa 1982; Supreme Leader (originally The Great Successor) of DPRK since 2011)) but this seems unlikely because the Supreme Leader is known, while on visits to remote locations within the DPRK (ballistic missile tests etc), to be accompanied by a military detail with a portable toilet for his exclusive (and reportedly not infrequent) use.

The Alfa Romeo Montreal

Alfa Romeo Montreal Expo show car at Montreal International Airport, arriving from Italy for the 1967 Universal Exposition in Montreal.

The noun exposition was from the late fourteenth century French exposicioun (explanation, narration), from the twelfth century Old French esposicion (explanation, interpretation) and directly from the Latin expositionem (nominative expositio) (a setting or showing forth; narration, explanation) a noun of action from the past-participle stem of exponere (put forth; explain), the construct being ex- (in the sense of “from, forth”) + ponere (to put, place).  The familiar modern meaning came into existence in 1851 when the Crystal Palace Exposition opened in London while the now universal form “Expo” was first used in planning documents for the 1967 World's Fair held in Montreal.

The Soviet Union’s pavilion at the 1967 Montreal Exposition.  The initialization of the country’s nane appeared as both “USSR” & “URSS”, reflecting Canada’s status as a bi-lingual (English & French) nation, USSR (Union of Soviet Socialist Republics) the form in English while in French it was Union des Républiques Socialistes Soviétiques.  URSS was also used on the Iberian Peninsula, the Spanish being Unión de Repúblicas Socialistas Soviéticas and the Portuguese União das Repúblicas Socialistas Soviéticas.  In Russian, it was CCCP (Союз Советских Социалистических Республик (Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik)), which translates as the familiar “Union of Soviet Socialist Republics”; CCCP representing the Cyrillic script, which corresponds to USSR in the Latin alphabet.

The theme of the EXPO 1967 at Montreal was “Man and his World” (a choice which now would see the event boycotted (or at least “girlcotted”)) and the organizers selected Alfa Romeo to present a car which represented the “highest aspiration of modern man in terms of cars”.  It was a time when development cycles of new cars were measured in years but the company had less than nine months in which to complete the project so the decision was taken to use the platform of the existing Giulia Sprint GT (the memorable 105/115 series coupés, 1963-1977) with Carrozzeria Bertone commissioned to style the unique bodywork, Marcello Gandini (1938–2024) the lead designer.  Gandini delivered a elegant and streamlined shape, the most distinctive features of which were the distinctive louvred eyelids which half-concealed the headlights and the six air vents on each C-pillar which led some to assume a mid-engined configuration lay beneath.  The factory fabricated two identical specimens, both finished in pearl white and named, appropriately, the Alfa Romeo Montreal Expo, displayed at the Exposition, in the “Man the Producer” pavilion by means of a clever visual trick using mirrors, the image of the two infinitely repeated throughout the exhibition space.  Both cars still exist and are housed in the Museo Storico Alfa Romeo (Alfa Romeo History Museum) on the outskirts of Milan.

1973 Alfa Romeo Montreal.

From critics and the public (notably including prospective buyers) the reaction to the Montreal Expo was such the factory opted to bring the car to market as a regular production model.  Unusually for show cars which often have their tantalizing specification “toned down” for appearance in showrooms (the Jaguar XJ220 a notorious example), the production version was considerably more exotic than what was seen at the exposition, the 1.6 litre (96 cubic inch) DOHC (double overhead camshaft) in-line four cylinder engine replaced by a 2.6 litre (158 cubic inch) version of the 2.0 litre (122 cubic inch) DOHC V8 used in the 33 Stradale (a road-going version of the Tipo 33 race car, 18 of which were produced 1967-1969).  It was one of the last of the "small" V8s used in road cars during the post-war years, a breed which included the flathead Ford (2.2, 2.4 & 2.5 litre (also used by Simca and in production (off and on) between 1935-1969), the Fiat 8V (1996 cm³, 1952-1954), the Daimler V8 (2548 cm³, 1959-1969), the Glas 2600 (2580 cm³, 1969-1967), the Lamborghini Urraco (2463 cm³, 1972-1976 & 1995 cm³, 1974-1977) and the Ferrari 208 (1991 cm³, 1975-1981).  Compared with these jewel-like power-plants, the contemporary 3.0 litre V8s (the Ferrari 308 and the sonorous but flawed Triumph Stag) were almost “big”.

The Montreal V8 was fuel-injected and used a dry-sump, both then still rarities in road cars and, reflecting the race-car origins, was configured with a cross-plane crankshaft.

Visually, the mass-produced (it’s a relative term) touring berlinetta appeared little different from what had wowed the crowds in 1967 but placed side-by side, the differences are obvious and it was offered in some vibrant colors (which were very 1970s) including metallic gold, Verde Termico green, Marrone Luci Di Bosco brown beige and the famous lobster orange with which the car became associated because it was used for many of the cars provided to the press for testing.  However, exquisite though it was, commercially it was a failure.  Although displayed at Geneva International Motor Show in March 1970, the first deliveries weren’t made until 1972 and ironically it couldn’t be purchased in Montreal or anywhere else in North America because it proved impossible to tame what was a detuned race-car engine to the point where it would comply with the new US emissions regulations, then the most onerous on the planet.  The loss of the US market really doomed the Montreal which was a shame because it offered performance which was competitive with Ferrari’s Dino 246 and all but the most potent Porsche 911s, its traditional layout meaning it was an easier car for inexpert drivers to handle, even if the absolute limits of adhesion didn’t match those two.  So, despite the innovative design and advanced engineering, the Montreal became a footnote among the exotic machines of the era and it wasn’t helped by high production costs and the first oil shock coming just as full-scale production had been achieved.  Between 1970-1977, only 3925 were made but they now have a dedicated following among collectors and those for whom an Alfa Romeo’s special charms means many flaws & foibles (and there are a few) are forgiven.