Peptonize

Peptonize (pronounced pep-tuh-nahyz)

(1) In physiology and biochemistry, to hydrolyse (a protein) to peptones by a proteolytic enzyme, especially by pepsin or pancreatic extract (done usually to aid digestion).

(2) In biochemistry, any water-soluble mixture of polypeptides and amino acids formed by the partial hydrolysis of protein.

(3) To render a text or some other form into something more easily understood (ie a figurative use of the notion of “making more digestible”).

1877: The construct was peptone + ize.  The noun peptone was from the German Pepton, from the Ancient Greek πεπτόν (peptón) (cooked, digested), (neuter of peptos), the verbal adjective of peptein (to cook), from πέπτω (péptō) (soften, ripen, boil, cook, bake, digest); the ultimate root was the primitive Indo-European root pekw (to cook; to ripen).  The –ize suffix was from the Middle English -isen, from the Middle French -iser, from the Medieval Latin -izō, from the Ancient Greek -ίζω (-ízō), from the primitive Indo-European verbal suffix -idyé-.  It was cognate with other verbal suffixes including the Gothic -itjan, the Old High German –izzen and the Old English -ettan (verbal suffix).  It was used to form verbs from nouns or adjectives which (1) make what is denoted by the noun or adjective & (2) do what is denoted by the noun or adjective; the alternative form is –ise.  In British English, alternative spelling is peptonise.  Peptonize, peptonized & peptonizing are verbs, peptonic is an adjective and peptonization & peptonizer are nouns; the most common noun plural is peptonizations.

Peptone was adopted as the general name for a substance into which the nitrogenous elements of food are converted by digestion.  The word entered scientific English in 1860, the German Pepton having first appeared in academic papers in 1849.  Being used in chemistry, a number of derived forms were created as required including antipeptone (a product of gastric and pancreatic digestion, differing from hemipeptone in not being decomposed by the continued action of pancreatic juice), hemipeptone (a product of gastric and pancreatic digestion of albuminous matter, which (unlike antipeptone) is convertible into leucin and tyrosin by the continued action of pancreatic juice; it's formed also from hemialbumose and albumin by boiling dilute sulphuric acid), bactopeptone (a peptone used as a bacterial culture medium) and neopeptone (a commercial mixture of peptones & vitamins), amphopeptone (a product of gastric digestion, a mixture of hemipeptone and antipeptone

Peptides attracted interest some years ago when their use in the performance enhancing drugs (PED) supplied to athletes was publicized.  Peptones and peptides are both derived from proteins but have distinct differences in their structures and properties.  Peptides are short chains of amino acids linked together by peptide bonds and are naturally occurring molecules found in the body and in some foods (hence the interest in their use in PEDs), their biological functions including acting as signaling molecules, hormones, and enzymes.  Under laboratory conditions or during industrial process they can also be derived from the hydrolysis of proteins to be used as therapeutic agents, diagnostic tools, and in many research environments.  Examples of peptides include oxytocin, vasopressin, and insulin.  Peptones are mixtures of amino acids and peptides produced by the partial hydrolysis of proteins and are significantly larger and more complex than peptides.  In the body, they’re produced by the digestion of natural proteins using enzymes or acids and in microbiological culture media are widely used as a source of amino acids and peptides which readily can be utilized by microorganisms for growth and metabolism.  In the industrial production of food, peptones are a common flavor enhancer and examples include tryptone, casitone, and yeast extract.

Mother's other little helper: Peptonized port was once recommended for nursing mothers.

The reason the verb peptonize (and peptonise) is at all known beyond biochemistry & industrial laboratories is the form can by analogy be used to describe the process by which some long or unintelligible document is rendered into something more easily digestible.  In this it differs from “abridge” which describes reducing the size of a document and, strictly speaking, the process should be restricted to removing passages of text which are not essential to the meaning or which intrude on the narrative flow.  Abridgment of novels (of which those published by the Reader’s Digest periodical remain the best-known) have become a popular form and often appear in editions including several of an author’s works.  The Reader's Digest began publication of these anthologies (fiction & nonfiction) in 1950 and originally they marketed by advertisements in the periodical and in mail-order catalogues (which were for 150-odd years a form of distribution which can be considered the B2C (business to consumer) websites of the pre-internet age as “Reader's Digest Condensed Books” before in 1997 being re-branded as “Reader's Digest Select Editions”.  There were some who were rather snobby about the Reader's Digest because it avoided abstractions and wrote for a literate but not necessarily highly educated audience and the news in the 1980s that it was Ronald Reagan’s (1911-2004, US president 1981-1989) preferred periodical reinforced the prejudice although it appears also to have boosted circulation.  More sympathetic critics however have praised the editing of the company’s abridged editions which they in more than one case observed made for a better novel.

Among the more infamous suggested abridgments was that recommended by some critics for Joseph Heller’s (1923-1999) dark satire Catch-22 (1961).  Apparently not enjoying the mental gymnastics demanded by the structure, not only did they suggest one or more chapters should be deleted, the consensus appeared it be it would matter little which chapters were sacrificed in the desired abridgment.  Time has been kinder to the book and few would now suggest deleting anything although the author, like many novelists, discarded much from his early drafts and in 2003 release Catch as Catch Can which included two chapters which never made it to the final draft (the previously published Love, Dad & Yossarian Survives), both of which worked well as short stories which were more viciously condemnatory of the US military than even what appeared in 1961.  Six decades on, it’s difficult to make the case removing a chapter from Catch-22 would in anyway peptonize to work although in at least one literary studies course students were set the task of working out which chapter could be deleted with the fewest consequential changes needing to be imposed on the rest. 

In 1970 however, it became possible to assess what would happen if chunks of the book were deleted because that year a film “version” was released and to produce that, radically the novel was abridged.  Whether it was much peptonized by the process was at least questionable, the phrase in the review by Richard Schickel (1933–2017): “One of our novels is missing” capturing the view of many.  In fairness, given the sprawling scale, there was of course no other way it could be condensed into two hours of screen time and something spread over many viewings, a la Richard Wagner’s (1813–1883) Ring Cycle (1876), would have brought its own problems.  Still, by 2019 technology had made the habits of audiences change and a six-part mini-series was released.  With a total running time over four hours it was still not enough to encompass the whole novel but hardly of a length to intimidate the binge generation and as a piece of entertainment it was well received although the advice of the serious-minded remained the same: read the book.

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011.

Both the film and the book actually went well beyond mere abridgment, verging solidly into what students of the visual forms call “interpretation” or “adaptation” so people can decide whether there was peptonization, simplification or both.  By contrast, a document subjected to a peptonization may be rendered shorter, longer or even transformed into a different format.  The genre known as “popular” (“popular science” and “popular history” the best known) often contain elements from technical or academic works which are re-written into a form more easily comprehended by readers without background in the specialization and is a classic form of peptonization.  Once can also exist as an adjunct document which accompanies the substantive text: an explanatory memorandum and an executive summary are both examples and even the abstract which sits as a header can fulfil the function and all three probably are valued by many because they obviate any need to read something which may be tiresomely and often needlessly long.  That may have been what Lord Salisbury (1893-1972) had in mind when in 1952 he remarked of the idea “…budget proposals could be simplified and summarized a little before being shown to the prime-minister.”: “Of course, I don’t know how far they are peptonized already.”  Even then, such use was rare (certainly outside the House of Lords) and now the meaning functionally be extinct.

Approved by His Majesty's Home Secretary.

In England in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, peptonised milk was part of the treatment regimes used in the force-feeding of patients in lunatic asylums, suffragettes on hunger strike those afflicted by Anorexia Nervosa (then still often called Anorexia Hysterica).  The method didn’t long endure in dealing with the bolshie proto-feminists because the public reaction was such the Home Office usually relented.  It remained often used for the anorexics and it presumably enjoyed some success but in 1895 The Lancet (a weekly medical journal first published in 1823) reported a fatal case: “The patient refused food so ‘was fed an enemata of peptonised milk, beef tea and brandy.  This was carried out for two to three days and in ten days she could take a moderate diet by the mouth, but suffered from diarrhoea.  On the thirteenth day after admission she rapidly became worse, the temperature rose to 102°F, and on the fifteenth day she died.”

Mystique

Mystique (pronounced mi-steek)

(1) A framework of doctrines, ideas, beliefs, or the like, constructed around a person or object, endowing the person or object with enhanced value or profound meaning:

(2) The aura of mystery (real, imagined or confected) or mystical power surrounding a particular occupation or pursuit:

1891: A borrowing by English in the sense of “atmosphere of mystery and veneration”, from the French noun & adjective mystique (a mystic; the act of a mystic; the mystical), from the Latin mysticus, from the Ancient Greek μυστικός (mustikós) (secret, mystic), from μύστης (mústēs) (one who has been initiated).  Mystique is a noun; the noun plural is plural mystiques.

A Dangerous Liaison (2008) by Carole Seymour-Jones (1943-2015).

When Le Deuxième Sexe (The Second Sex (1949)) was published by French feminist and social theorist Simone de Beauvoir (1908–1986), it was recognized almost at once as a landmark in feminist thought but it was in the twenty-first century re-evaluated when gender came to be re-defined as a spectrum rather than a binary.  Of particular interest was de Beauvoir’s mapping of existentialist thought on to the matter, asserting that being a woman was a construct, something obviously dependent on being born female but the product of processes integral to a society in which women had been defined as inferior to men, a tradition she traces back centuries.  The Second Sex and Germaine Greer’s (b 1939) The Female Eunuch (1970) remain the two most important texts of late twentieth century feminism.  De Beauvoir is one of those writers who led a life which many choose to entangle with what she wrote but The Second Sex is best read by allowing the words to prevail.  

However, the complexity of The Second Sex, infused as it was with strands of French structuralism, meant that it lacked accessibility unless a reader had some background in certain philosophical traditions and it was American feminist Betty Friedan’s (1921–2006) The Feminine Mystique (1963) which, by sheer weight of numbers, proved the greater influence politically, many claiming still it was the work responsible for the emergence of second wave feminism.  The Feminine Mystique is by comparison a slight work and although not of excessive length, is thematically repetitious and can be deconstructed as a long social media post about one woman’s discontent with her life, something to which she (not without justification) links the structure of the patriarchal society in which she exists.  That made it a compelling polemic for the receptive millions of women who read it as their own biographies and ensured its success but it also lent second-wave feminism (which greatly the book at least influenced) a distinctly white, Western, middle-class flavor which asked many of the right questions but ignored (rather than deliberately excluded) most of what lay beyond that fashionable but narrow cultural vista.

Jane Birkin and the mystique of the Birkin Bag

Jane Birkin (with her usual straw bag) and Serge Gainsbourg (1928-1991) at the premiere of their film Slogan, August 1969.

One well-known example of manufactured mystique is that attached to the Birkin Bag manufactured by the French fashion house Hermès, the origin of which was a chance meeting in 1984 on Paris-London shuttle flight between the English actress Jane Birkin (1946-2023) and Jean-Louis Dumas (1938-2010), then executive chairman Hermès.  Ms Birkin was placing her usual straw bag in the overhead locker when “everything fell out” her belongings scattering over her and Monsieur Dumas.  The inevitable conversation ensued and the pair thrown together by circumstances spent the brief flight designing Ms Birkin’s ideal leather bag for weekend travel, the airline’s sick bags improbably used for the first sketches.  Within months, the Birkin was a Hermès part-number.

Although in her later years Ms Birkin ceased to carry one (it became “just too heavy"), over the last four decades, the Birkin has become a coveted item, much sought by those attracted by its association with pop-culture celebrities and the price-tag which begins somewhere over US$10,000 and can, for a custom unit, extend into six figures.  Although the Birkin range is advertized both in the glossy catalogues and on-line, it’s not a “display item” carried on the shelves of the bricks & mortar stores and it’s long been part of the product’s image that as well as being PoA (price on application), they’re not “for everyone”, Hermès selling them only to someone “suitable”; it’s all part of the mystique.  There has long been speculation about how “real” this mystique may be, the suspicion being that if anyone offers cold hard cash (or its modern equivalent), a store manager would think of their end-of-year bonus and make the sale.  However, in March 2024, two disgruntled (rejected) Birkin customers filed suit in Federal court in California, alleging Hermès was in violation of US antitrust legislation by allowing only those with a “sufficient purchase history” with the company to bag a Birkin.  Essentially, the case hinges on the lure of the right to buy a Birkin being used as an inducement to spend money on shoes, jewellery, scarves and such, the carrot of the bag dangled while the stick is used to force folk to create a “purchase history”.  The suit also noted the company’s sales associates are driving the scheme, thereby gaining benefits for both themselves and Hermès, an important technical point in US antitrust law.

Hermès Birkin 3-en-1: "(1) a canvas clutch topped with the emblematic leather flap, (2) A leather tote with side straps & turnlock and (3) A clutch & tote together recreate the eternal Birkin."  The 3-en-1 is one of many current designs in the range.

Interestingly, it was further alleged the floor staff don’t earn commissions on Birkin bag sales and are instructed to use the handbags only as a device “…to coerce consumers to purchase ancillary products” while only “…those consumers who are deemed worthy of purchasing a Birkin handbag will be shown a Birkin handbag” in a private viewing room.”  Any civilian (ie a non-celebrity or not someone identified as rich) walking into the store and asking to see a Birkin is told they’re “out of stock”.  The lawsuit requested class-action status for thousands of US consumers who bought Hermès goods or were asked to buy them as a prerequisite for buying a Birkin and sought unspecified monetary damages and a court order banning Hermès’s allegedly anti-competitive practices.

A certain, brutish mystique: 1974 Holden Torana L34.

Restrictions on a right to purchase are not unusual.  Ferrari have specified that some of their low-volume models are available only to previous customers and that has sometimes demanded the prior purchase of more than one of the Italian machines.  Whether apocryphal or not, the story is that on more than one occasion, upon being informed of the clause, the buyer would at random pick a Ferrari from the showroom stock and buy it, just to qualify.  Somewhat down the food chain, in 1974 when quietly Holden in Australia introduced their L34 option (a homologation package to ensure certain parts could be used in racing) for the Torana SL/R 5000, although the thing could be registered for road use, it was specified it could be bought only by holders of a certain level of competition licence issued by CAMS (Confederation of Australian Motor Sport).  That policy was a pre-emptive strike to ensure there would be no repetition of the moral panic stirred up two years earlier by the tabloid press which claimed the three local manufacturers were selling “160 mph (257 km/h) supercars” to the public, summoning the fear of the usual suspects (males aged 17-25) unleashing these lethal weapons on public roads.  As was often the case in moral panics, the tabloids were being economical with the truth but their campaign spooked the politicians and the manufacturers, the new generation of high-performance machinery swiftly cancelled.  Ironically, when tested, it transpired the L34 package was about durability rather than power or speed and was actually a little slower than a standard SL/R 5000 but the exotic terms & conditions (T&Cs) certainly gained it some mystique.

The Mean Girls (2004) crew on DeviantArt by SBBeauregarde in cosplay mode: Marvel Comics' Mystique.

The Mystique de la Merde 

The word mystique even has a place in what must be one of the darker corners of literary theory.  The term Mystique de la Merde dates from September 1956 when an article by Robert Elliot Fitch (1902-1986) was published in the New Republic.  Fitch was a Congregationalist minister who graduated successively from Yale (1923), the Union Theological Seminary (1926) and Columbia (1929), later becoming a professor of Christian ethics and dean of Berkeley's Pacific School of Religion but he was interested also in literary theory, often as a device by which he could explore the decline in Western society associated with God’s withdrawal from the place.  Fitch’s Mystique de la Merde wasn’t literally “the mystique of shit” but a description of what he detected in literature (and therefore life in general) as “a preoccupation with the seamier, muddier, bloodier aspects of life, as well as, excessively, with sex and money.”  Befitting the decline of civilization, Mystique de la Merde was a deliberately more vulgar version of Nostalgie de la boue (nostalgia for mud), a phrase coined in 1855 by French dramatist Émile Augier (1820–1889) meaning “an attraction for low-life culture, experience, and degradation (in individuals, institutions & culture).”

In his New Republic piece, Fitch started as he intended to continue: "…perhaps we should take note of a brand of piety which may best be characterized as the mystique de la merde. This might be rendered in English as the deification of dirt, or the apotheosis of ordure, or just plain mud mysticism.  At any rate it provides a label for a sectarian cult which appears to have attracted some of the best talent in contemporary literature."  He nominated Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) as a founding father of the cult (he must have been tempted to call him the “high priest”) in whose writing he identified a surfeit of “…fertility, money, blood and iron."  One sex was stirred into that mix (as Hemmingway did), one has, as Fitch noted: all “…the basic ingredients of ultimate reality" as seen by the merde mystics.

Ernest Hemingway in Cuba, 1952.  F Scott Fitzgerald's (1896–1940) wife Zelda (1900–1948) described Hemmingway's novel The Sun Also Rises (1926) as "Bull fighting, bull slinging, and bullshit".  Had she lived, she may have found "Mystique de la Merde" a needless gloss.

Writing in the milieu of the beat generation writers, Fitch observed that in handling what clearly was a literary phenomenon, the critic was at some disadvantage because while writers could function on the “four letter [word] level”, “…the critic must stick to three-syllable words.”  He concluded, presumably not without regret, that: “When we have become honest, we discover that the reigning God is only a devil in disguise" and the real reason for this is that God “…has made us unhappy.”  He cites Mrs Evans in Eugene O'Neill’s (1888–1953) soliloquy heavy Strange Interlude (1928) who affirms that the only good thing is being happy: “I used to be a great one for worrying about what's God and what's devil, but I got richly over it… being punished for no sin but loving much.”  One suspects Fitch might have written a critique of the early twenty-first century with some relish.

Slag

Slag (pronounced slag)

(1) The substantially fused and vitrified matter separated during the reduction of a metal from its ore; also called cinder.

(2) The scoria (the mass of rough fragments of pyroclastic rock and cinders produced during a volcanic eruption) from a volcano.

(3) In the post-production classification of coal for purposes of sale, the left-over waste for the sorting process; used also of the waste material (as opposed to by-product) from any extractive mining.

(4) In industrial processing, to convert into slag; to reduce to slag.

(5) In the production of steel and other metals, the scum that forms on the surface of molten metal.

(6) In commercial metallurgy, to remove slag from a steel bath.

(7) To form slag; become a slaglike mass.

(8) In slang, an abusive woman (historic UK slang, now a rare use).

(9) In slang, a term of contempt used usually by men of women with a varied history but now to some degree synonymous with “unattractive slut” (of UK origin but now in use throughout the English-speaking world and used sometimes also of prostitutes as a direct synonym, the latter now less common).

(10) In the slang of UK & Ireland, a coward (now regionally limited) or a contemptible person (synonymous with the modern “scumbag” (that use still listed by many as “mostly Cockney” but now apparently rare).

(11) In Australian slang, to spit.

(12) Verbally to attack or disparage somebody or something (usually as “slag off”, “slagged them”, “slagged it off” etc); not gender-specific and used usually in some unfriendly or harshly critical manner; to malign or denigrate.  Slang dictionaries note that exclusively in Ireland, “slagging off” someone (or something) can be used in the sense of “to make fun of; to take the piss; the tease, ridicule or mock” and can thius be an affectionate form, rather in the way “bastard” was re-purposed in Australian & New Zealand slang.

1545–1555: From the Middle Low German slagge & slaggen (slag, dross; refuse matter from smelting (which endures in Modern German as Schlacke)), from the Old Saxon slaggo, from the Proto-West Germanic slaggō, from the Proto-Germanic slaggô, the construct being slag(ōną)- (to strike) + -gô (the diminutive suffix).  Although unattested, there may have been some link with the Old High German slahan (to strike, slay) and the Middle Low German slāgen (to strike; to slay), the connection being that the first slag from the working of metal were the splinters struck off from the metal by being hammered.  Slāgen was from Proto-West Germanic slagōn and the Old Saxon slegi was from the Proto-West Germanic slagi.  Slag is a noun & verb, slagability, deslag, unslag & slaglessness are nouns, slagish, slagless, slagable, deslagged unslagged, slaggy & slaglike are adjectives and slagged, deslagged, unslagged, slagging, deslagging & unslagging are verbs; the noun plural is slags.  As an indication of how industry use influences the creation of forms, although something which could be described as “reslagging” is a common, it’s regarded as a mere repetition and a consequence rather than a process.

In the UK & Ireland, the term “slag tag” is an alternative to “tramp stamp”, the tattoo which appears on the lower back.  Both rhyming forms seem similarly evocative.

The derogatory slang use dates from the late eighteenth century and was originally an argot word for “a worthless person or a thug”, something thought derived from the notion of slag being “a worthless, unsightly pile” and from this developed the late twentieth century use to refer to women and this is thought to have begun life as a something close to a euphemism for “slut” although it was more an emphasis on “unattractiveness”.  The most recent adaptation is that of “slagging off” (verbal (ie oral, in print, on film etc) denigration of someone or something, use documented since 1971 although at least one oral history traces it from the previous decade.  In vulgar slang, slag is one of the many words used (mostly) by men to disparage women.  It’s now treated as something akin to “slut” (in the sense of a “women who appears or is known to be of loose virtue) but usually with the added layer of “unattractiveness”.  The lexicon of the disparaging terms men have for women probably doesn’t need to precisely to be deconstructed and as an example, in the commonly heard “old slag”, the “old” likely operates often as an intensifier rather than an indication of age; many of those labeled “old slags” are doubtless quite young on the human scale.  Still, that there are “slags” and “old slags” does suggest men put some effort into product differentiation.

How slag heaps are created.

All uses of “slag”, figurative & literal, can be traced back to the vitreous mass left as a residue by the smelting of metallic ore, the fused material formed by combining the flux with gangue, impurities in the metal, etc.  Although there’s much variation at the margins, typically, it consists of a mixture of silicates with calcium, phosphorus, sulfur etc; in the industry it’s known also as cinder and casually as dross or recrement (the once also-used "scoria" seems now exclusively the property of volcanologists).  When deposited in place, the piles of slag are known as “slag heaps” and for more than a century, slag heaps were a common site in industrial regions and while they still exist, usually they’re now better managed (disguised).  A waste-product of steel production, slag can be re-purposed or recycled and, containing a mixture of metal oxides & silicon dioxide among other compounds, there is an inherent value which can be realized if the appropriate application can be found.  There are few technical problems confronting the re-use of slag but economics often prevent this; being bulky and heavy, slag can be expensive to transport so if a site suitable for re-use is distant, it can simply be too expensive to proceed.  Additionally, although slag can in close to its raw form be used for purposes such as road-base, if any reprocessing is required, the costs can be prohibitive.  The most common uses for slag include (1) Landfill reclamation, especially when reclaiming landfills or abandoned industrial sites, the dense material ideal for affording support & stability for new constructions, (2) the building of levees or other protective embankments where a large cubic mass is required, (3) in cement production in which ground granulated blast furnace slag (GGBFS) can be used as a supplementary component material of cement, enhancing the workability, durability and strength of concrete, (4) manufacturing including certain ceramics & glass, especially where high degrees of purity are not demanded, (5) as a soil conditioner in agriculture to add essential nutrients to the soil and improve its structure, (6) as a base for road-building and (7) as an aggregate in construction materials such as concrete and asphalt.  The attraction of recycling slag has the obvious value in that it reduces the environmental impact of steel production but it also conserves natural resources and reduces the impact of the mining which would otherwise be required.  However, the feasibility of recycling slag depends on its chemical composition and the availability of an appropriate site.

Harold Macmillan, Epsom Derby, Epsom Downs Racecourse, Surrey, 5 June 1957.

The word “slag” has been heard in the UK’s House of Commons in two of the three senses in which it’s usually deployed.  It may have been used also in the third but the Hansard reporters are unlikely to have committed that to history.  In 1872, Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881, UK prime-minister Feb-Dec 1868 & 1874-1880) cast his disapproving opposition leader’s gaze on the cabinet of William Gladstone (1809–1898; prime-minister 1868–1874, 1880–1885, Feb-July 1886 & 1892–1894) sitting on the opposite front bench and remarked: “Behold, a range of extinct volcanoes; not a flame flickers upon a single pallid crest.”.  Sixty-odd years later, a truculent young Harold Macmillan (1894–1986; UK prime-minister 1957-1963) picked up the theme in his critique of a ministry although he was slagging off fellow Tories, describing the entire government bench as “a row of disused slag heaps”, adding that the party of Disraeli was now “dominated by second-class brewers and company promoters.”  Presumably Macmillan thought to be described as a “slag heap” was something worse than “extinct volcano” and one can see his point.  The rebelliousness clearly was a family trait because in 1961, when Macmillan was prime-minister, his own son, by then also a Tory MP, delivered a waspish attack on his father’s ministry.  When asked in the house the next day if there was “a rift in the family or something”, Macmillan said: “No.”, pausing before adding with his Edwardian timing: “As the House observed yesterday, the Honorable Member for Halifax has both intelligence and independence.  How he got them is not for me to say."

Lindsay Lohan and the great "slagging off Kettering scandal".

Although lacking the poise of Macmillan, Philip Hollobone (b 1964; Tory MP for Kettering since 2005), knew honor demanded he respond to Lindsay Lohan “slagging off” his constituency.  What caught the eye of the outraged MP happened during Lindsay Lohan’s helpful commentary on Twitter (now known as X) on the night of the Brexit referendum in 2016, the offending tweet appearing after it was announced Kettering (in the Midlands county of Northamptonshire) had voted 61-39% to leave the EU: “Sorry, but Kettering where are you?”

Philip Hollobone MP, official portrait (2020).

Mr Hollobone, a long-time "leaver" (a supporter of Brexit), wasn’t about to let a mean girl "remainer's" (one who opposed Brexit) slag of Kettering escape consequences and he took his opportunity in the House of Commons, saying: “On referendum night a week ago, the pro-Remain American actress, Lindsay Lohan, in a series of bizarre tweets, slagged off areas of this country that voted to leave the European Union.  At one point she directed a fierce and offensive tweet at Kettering, claiming that she had never heard of it and implying that no one knew where it was.  Apart from the fact that it might be the most average town in the country, everyone knows where Kettering is.”  Whether a phrase like “London, Paris, New York, Kettering” was at the time quite as familiar to most as it must have been to Mr Hollobone isn’t clear but he did try to help by offering advice, inviting Miss Lohan to switch on Kettering's Christmas lights that year, saying it would “redeem her political reputation”.  Unfortunately, that proved not possible because of a clash of appointments but thanks to the Tory Party, at least all know the bar has been lowered: Asking where a town sits on the map is now “slagging it off”.

Screen grab from the "apology video" Lindsay Lohan sent the residents of Kettering advising she'd not be able to switch on their Christmas lights because of her "busy schedule".

Robot

Robot (pronounced roh-bot)

(1) A machine resembling a human, designed to perform certain functions.  Originally, the most popular were the “intelligent” mechanical beings which appeared in science fiction (SF) but of late advances in technology have encouraged manufacturers to build robots in humanoid form, the advantage being they can be applied to replace human labor using without the need to change existing infrastructure.

(2) A person who acts and responds in a mechanical, routine manner, usually subject to another's will; an automaton (often a figurative use).

(3) A device operating automatically, in a pre-programmed fashion.

(4) As a non-physical device (in software), a program which to some extent (including beyond) can duplicate or emulate human actions; now often called “bots”.

(5) As a modifier, a device not (directly) controlled by a human; something automated within certain parameters (such devices sometimes called “robot” in colloquial use).

(6) In surveying, a specialized form of theodolite which follows the movements of a prism and can thus be used by a single operator.

(7) In various forms of modern & modernist dance, a style in which dancers imitate the stiff and jerky movements of a stereotypical fictional robot.

(8) In various on-line communities, a habitual user who posts content of dubious or no value (in this case a human, not a bot in the modern sense)  In the earlier era of the bulletin boards an equivalent term was “slug” (which was probably worse than being labeled a “file pig”).

(9) In internet use (1) a computer-controlled character in a video game, especially a multiplayer one, (2) a dreadfully inempt player of video games and (3) a person thought to have no independent capacity for thought.

(10) Figuratively, a person who seems not to have emotions.

1920: Robot first appears (in the modern sense) in the play R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots (1920)) by Czech writer Karel Čapek (1890–1938), the word suggested by his brother, the artist, writer & poet Josef Čapek (1887–1945).  R.U.R. was Čapek's first international success and was a dystopian vision of an industrial society and while sometimes compared to Charlie Chaplin’s (1889–1977) Modern Times (1936), thematically, they’re quite different.  Typically, the word was brought unchanged into English but such was the simplicity of form that many languages have also retained the spelling, the odd variation including the Japanese robotto (ロボット) and the Swahili roboti.  Surprisingly, despite what must be a temptation, ROBOT is a rare construction as an acronym.  Robot, robotics, robotism, robotry, roboticization & roboticist are nouns, robotic, robotistic, robotical & robotlike (and the non-standard robotesque) are adjectives, robotize (also as roboticise) is a verb and robotically is an adverb; the noun plural is robots.

The Czech-derived robot (mechanical person, also “person whose work or activities are entirely mechanical”) was from robota (drudgery, servitude, compulsory labor) and robotník (the landless peasant so employed (although that was also sometimes applied to “richer peasants” (al la the Russian кула́к (kulák) (wealthy peasant) who employed their own roboniks), from robotiti (to work, drudge), from an Old Czech source akin to the Old Church Slavonic rabota (servitude), from rabu (slave), from the Old Slavic orbu-, from the primitive Indo-European orbh- (pass from one status to another (and related to the later English “orphan”)).  The German noun Robot, was used to refer to a system of serfdom in Central Europe, under which a tenant's rent was paid in forced labor and the Slavic thread is related to the German Arbeit (work), from the Old High German arabeit. 

Several derived forms entered the language after appearing in Liar! (1941, a short story by Russian-born US SF author Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) including the adjective robotic (of or characteristic of robots) and the nouns robopsychologist (one who studies or practices the discipline of robopsychology) & robotics (the science of robots, their construction and use) and earlier, in Robbie (1940 and first published as Strange Playfellow), he’d introduced roboticist (one who conceptualizes, designs, builds, programs, and experiments with robots).  Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics (1968) is often quoted as the basic framework of protocols which should be adopted as a regulatory environment for the industry.

Daleks: The original BBC series was broadcast in black & white which made life easier for the props department but the cyborg Daleks later came in designer colors.

“Bot” has become familiar in the internet era to describe software implementations which appear (sometimes deliberately) to be actual humans but it has a long history.  According to the authoritative Online Etymology Dictionary, “bot” as a head-clipping of “robot” was unknown until around the turn of the twenty-first century and remarkably: “The method of minting new slang by clipping the heads off words does not seem to be old or widespread in English.  The examples (za from pizza, zels from pretzels, rents from parents, burbs from suburbs) are American English student or teen slang and seem to date back no further than the late 1960s.”  Bot has flourished as have (cy)borg & (an)droid and there is sometimes genuine linguistic innovation in the field:  The name of the cyborg (a combination of robotics and a biological intelligence) Daleks in the BBC Dr Who television series was an invention with no etymological basis.

Long before computers and robots, “bot” had a history.  In the early sixteenth century, in what was thought an alteration of the Scottish Gaelic boiteag (maggot), in both England a Scotland, bot (and bott) meant “the larva of a botfly, which infests the skin of various mammals, producing warbles, or the nasal passage of sheep, or the stomach of horses”.  Unrelated to that (hopefully), was the eighteenth century English slang (often as the verbs botting & botted) meaning “to buggar” (ie the old criminal offence of “the abominable crime of buggery”).  Presumably an independent evolution was the now obsolete Australian slang meaning “to ask for and be given something with the direct intention of exploiting the thing’s usefulness” and dictionaries of slang suggest it was used almost exclusively of cigarettes (ie “can I bot a smoke?” a alternative form of “can I bum a smoke?”, the latter form now rare but still heard.  The World War I (1914-1918) era slang in Australia & New Zealand indicating a “"worthless, troublesome person” is extinct.  Strangely, given the document fondness for clippings & abbreviations in the camp lexicon, “bot” seems never to have emerged as a form of “bottom” which, in gay (male) slang, is the companion term for “top”.

Lindsay Lohan in the stop motion-animated sketch comedy Robot Chicken (2005-).  The character was voiced by Breckin Meyer (b 1974).

Of late, additions to the language have included robothood (the state or condition of being a robot; an environment largely or exclusively inhabited by robots), robotless (a place, institution or device in which robots are not used) and fembot (a female version of a robot).  Note that fembot is used in different ways.  In SF, fembots could genuinely be “female robots” for in the genre not only could there be actual genders (as opposed to the mere representation of characteristics) but there was not of necessity any need for the number of different sexes to be restricted to two.  In real-world use, voice fembots were among the earliest widely to be deployed and that was because the research made clear the female voice tended to be preferred (by men and women), thus the “talking clocks”, automated switchboard attendants etc usually being feminine.  In (derogatory) figurative use, fembot was used also to suggest a docile, unthinking and conformist woman (something like a mature version of the “basic bitch”), the idea explored in Ira Levin’s (1929—2007) The Stepford Wives (1972); the “feminist horror” genre remains still sadly neglected.  Advances in artificial intelligence (AI), robotics and sensors have in recent years made fembots notably more “realistic” and fembots have already been deployed in two of the oldest of the “feminized” professions: sex work & health care.

In medicine, the possibilities had been discussed for decades but the first products emerged in the 1980s as technology caught up with the most simple of the ambitions, robotic arms for use in simple procedures the first commercially available.  Progress was incremental until the last ten years although robotics did make a significant contribution to research, not only taking the place of human labor but making possible projects which would never otherwise have been possible because some of the big data analysis would have required so much labor that funding would never have been available.  The evolutionary pattern in the industry will likely follow the same path as in the legal professional in that the first human jobs to go are those in back-office and other administrative functions before ancillary roles are also absorbed by machines.  The clinicians will be last to be thinned from the hollowed-out middle while at the upper end, executive roles will continue and perhaps even expand while at the lowest level, cleaners, porters, security guards and such may endure, not because machines can’t be built to do the jobs but the nature of the duties is such the attrition rate will for the foreseeable future make human labor cheaper.

Grace the bot, coming to a hospital near you.

The use of fembots as ancillaries in clinical health care will of course be the thin end of the wedge because a fembot can instantly recall the complete medical history of all patients in a hospital while simultaneously possessing an unparalleled degree of medical knowledge, dynamically updated minute by minute.  Already, machines are proving better than humans in fields such as the analysis of diagnostic imagery and in the near to mid-term, the only obvious disciplines in the field where they’re likely to remain at a disadvantage is in certain surgeries and other activities where physical dexterity or the ability to execute intricate movements is at a premium.  Years from now (and there’s genuine debate about how many), those wishing to pursue a career in medicine might find psychiatry remains the last human preserve, at least for those tending to the rich; the poor will be relegated to pacifying drugs and bots. 

A Harmony 2.0 in completed form.

As sex dolls, progress has been followed with great interest and the most interesting aspect has been the extent of the focus on communication, the manufacturers clearly responding to demand from men for a “relationship” and not merely a more elaborate and life-like sex toy.  The phenomenon of “lonely Japanese Men” has for some time been well-documented and it’s unlikely the problem is culturally specific so such demand is likely to exist also in other markets.  Manufacturers in the Far East have been active but so are players in Europe and the US and with the mechanical challenges “substantially” solved, attention has turned to emotions and their physical manifestations.  In April 2023, US-based Abyss Creations displayed what was described as a “new generation sexbot”, “Harmony 2.0” said to have the ability to learn from “her human companion” a greater range of emotions which subsequently can be generated, including tears.  Technology site CNET reported Harmony can be customized and is interactive, conversations able to be conducted, the quality of which will improve over time because the sexbot will learn from the experience; thus the emotional range of one Harmony 2.0 will differ from another which has been interacting with a different companion.  Memory is persistent and Abyss have indicated that at some time in the future, a greater range of “pre-loaded personalities” will be available, users able to choose “their type”, some presumably preferring a quiet and deferential sexbot, others something more highly strung.  Like anything, it’s all a question of what one wants from life (a male version is said to be “in development”) and being a software download, the implication is that if the personality of one’s Harmony 2.0 proves unsatisfactory, the memory can be over-written with something which hopefully proves better.  By default, Harmony has 18 distinct personality traits such as such as “shyness” or “strong sexual desire”; there seems no proneness to headaches although, at the software level, there’s no reason why one couldn’t be trained to display anything from aversion to sex to actual frigidity.  Again, it’s all a matter of what one wants from life and one can map one’s kinks onto one’s Harmony 2.0.

Mix & match: Being modular, there is a Harmony app (a subscription service) with which users can “build their bot”, customizing it according to one’s preferences (appearance and personality).

A Harmony 2.0 requires some 80 hours of labor to complete and every detail is said to be “perfect” (ie conforming to the desired specification) and the devices are modular.  This is familiar from the model used to build industrial robots where the one core design could be adapted to welding, component placing, painting or a range of other activities, simply by swapping attachments like arms and changing software instruction sets.  With sexbots, the modularity focuses more on aesthetic elements such as hair, eyes, mouths, breasts and such.  At the time of release, Abyss listed Harmony 2.0 at US$6,500 while the “tearful” version was US$12,000, reflecting both the development costs and the additional hardware (presumably plumbing including a “tear reservoir”) required.  Sexbots may only ever be a market niche but in a sense, it’s the oldest niche in the world.

Crossbody

Crossbody (pronounced kraws-bod-ee or kros‐bod-ee)

(1) Of or noting a type of bag, distinguished by a long shoulder strap intended to be worn diagonally across the body.  A crossbody purse or crossbody wallet is a variation on the theme.

(2) In professional (ie choreographed) wrestling, a term covering several aerial moves in which one competitor launches themselves from a height (sometimes using the ring’s ropes or corner-posts to gain altitude) landing horizontally or diagonally across their (often already) prostrate opponent's torso, forcing them to the mat if they were standing.

Early 1950s: The construct was cross + body.  As a prefix, cross was from the Middle English cros- & crosse- (relating to a cross, forming a cross, in the shape of a cross or “X”), developed from the noun and influenced by “across”.  Body (the spelling bodie is long obsolete) was from the Middle English bodi & bodiȝ, from the Old English bodiġ (body, trunk, chest, torso, height, stature), from the Proto-West Germanic bodag (body, trunk), from the primitive Indo-European bhewd (to be awake, observe).  It was cognate with the Old High German botah from which the Swabian gained Bottich (body, torso).  Although as late as the sixteenth century, “body” was used in the now archaic sense of the “section of a dress or gown extending from the neck to the waist but excluding the arms” the idea of the crossbody was a reference always to “the body” in the sense of the physical structure of a human form, in this case the torso, the line extending from a shoulder to around the opposite hip.  The alternative spelling is cross–body.  Crossbody is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is crossbodies.

The cross-prefix has widely been used for similar or analogous purposes such as the crossbow, (an early, mechanized version of the bow and arrow), the cross-bolt (a means of adding additional structural rigidity to the main bearings in an internal combustion engine by adding locating bolts at a 90^o angle to those mounted vertically) and cross-purposes (a conversation in which two or more are talking while misunderstanding each other's plans, intentions or meanings) and the cross-stitch (in needlework or embroidery, a double-stitch which forms a cross.  Many other uses such as cross-country, cross-dresser, cross-cultural et al, are different in that they don’t involve the “X” shape or (of necessity) anything in a diagonal.

Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky, the White House, February 1997, one of the photographs of the 1990s.

Monica Lewinsky (1973) was the young intern of whom in 1998 Bill Clinton (b 1946; US president 1993-2001) infamously remarked “I did not have sexual relations with that woman… Miss Lewinsky.”  Had that been something said in a county court in a remote flyover state of a consensual encounter between two obscure private citizens, defense counsel may have succeeded in arguing that for there to be “sexual relations” one must have “sex” and what transpired had not crossed the accepted definitional threshold.  In 1998, there probably were still places where such distinctions were maintained but because what happened happened in the White House between the chief magistrate of the United States and an intern a quarter century younger, Monicagate played out.  As presidential scandals go there have certainly been worse and as Harold Macmillan (1894–1986; UK prime-minister 1957-1963) replied when woken in the middle of the night to be told a member of his cabinet was in the midst of an affair with a young lady “with both a present and a past” who was also enjoying the affections of a Soviet spy: “Well at least it was with a woman.”  That the liaisons with the Russian were arranged at the behest of MI5 (the UK's internal security organization) is one of the many details which made the Profumo Affair (John Profumo (1915–2006)) one of the century's juiciest scandals although, some of the files containing "sensitive" information about members of the English establishment remain embargoed until 2046. Even then, few expect to see unredacted papers. 

Bill Clinton and crooked Hillary Clinton, the Hamptons, 2021.

A youthful indiscretion is one thing but an indiscretion with a youth is something else and whether crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013) ever forgave her husband only she knows but she didn’t leave him so there was that.  She had her own reasons to stay which may or may not have involved forgiveness but the conventional political wisdom remains that had the US constitution allowed it, Bill Clinton would probably have enjoyed a comfortable victory in the 2000 presidential election so enough of the US population either forgave him or were indifferent in the matter.  Monica Lewinsky fared not as well, being as unprepared for what ensued as just about anyone in her position would have been and it’s remarkable she coped as well as she did.  However, now 50, Ms Lewinsky has survived and in February 2024 emerged as the face of women’s fashion label Reformation’s latest campaign, one focused on corporate workwear and, in concert with vote.org, encouraging women to “use their voice” in the upcoming election and given the extent to which recent court decisions have encouraged an influential faction in the Republican Party to mount further assaults on the rights of women, their vote has the potential to be decisive in contests for both houses of Congress.

Monica Lewinsky's photoshoot for Reformation’s You’ve Got the Power campaign. 

The “You’ve Got the Power” campaign slogan thus has a dual meaning, referencing both the exercise of the franchise and the “power dressing” of the wardrobe (good taste prevailed and no electric blue dresses were featured) although big shoulder pads didn’t make a return which would have disappointed some but the corporate staples red (here described as “scarlet”) and black were prominent.  The range was conservative as befits the target market but seems to have been well-received and serious students of such things especially appreciated the inclusion of an irregular polka-dot in black & white.  Ms Lewinsky certainly looked good and while photographers have tricks to play with lighting and angles, there’s little to suggest much post-production editing was done; she looked a youthful, elegant 50.  One piece which attracted attention was the “Monica” bag which came with both a fitted top-handle and a longer strap, allowing it to be carried on the shoulder or as a crossbody.

Reformation’s "Monica" crossbody bag in black (left) and topo (right).

The Monica crossbody bag is available in topo or black.  Topo is a Spanish word meaning “mole” (both (1) in zoology as the small mammal and (2) in the jargon of espionage a “sleeper agent” who infiltrates an organization, usually to spy) and as a dark brownish-grey colour (ie an approximation of the colour of a mole's skin (hence the familiar "moleskin"), it’s the equivalent of the English taupe, from the French taupe, from the Latin talpa (mole).  In the circumstances, “talpa” presumably was more appealing to the marketing department than “moleskin” although “black” was refreshingly simple.  Reformation’s Monica (as in the crossbody bag) web page recommended the topo hue worked well paired with their “Lysander” dress, available in “selene” (the rather fetching polka-dot) or “midnight” (a dark blue close to navy and far enough removed from the shade of dress Ms Lewinsky made famous not to attract comment).  How fashion houses come up with product names is often mysterious.  Lysander was from the Ancient Greek Λῠ́σᾰνδρος (Lúsandros) and is a (now rare) male given name although in the US there has in the twenty-first century been a modest resurgence.  In the Greek, the name was used to denote “liberator” and it became entrenched in English probably because William Shakespeare (1564–1616) used it in the comedy, A Midsummer Night's Dream (1596), a romp in which Lysander found himself under Puck's spell after running away with his beloved Hermia, enduring a half-dozen cases of mistaken identity before being reunited, marrying in a triple ceremony (all of which sounds curiously modern in a Netflix sort of way).  What Reformation may have had in mind was Lysander (circa 454-395 BC), the Spartan admiral who liberated his people from the hegemony of Athens, his most famous victory being the sinking of the Athenian fleet at the Battle of Aegospotami (405 BC), the engagement which ended the Peloponnesian War.  Presumably, the thinking at Reformation was the name of an admiral from Antiquity was enough of a connection with navy blue although that tradition of use in navies began many centuries later.  There was also the Westland Lysander, a World War II (1939-1945) era communications & support aircraft used by the British Army and best remembered for (1) its role in smuggling spies and saboteurs into occupied Europe and (2) the unusual use of the wheel spats as mounting points for machine guns and ordnance such as 250lb (115 KG) bombs.  In production in the UK & Canada between 1936-1943, it was an uncelebrated but versatile platform which provided invaluable service in the clandestine operations run by the UK’s remarkably large number of agencies concerned with dirty tricks and other murky business.  It’s not likely Reformation thought much about the aircraft.

The Monicagate (1998) effect: The decline of the use of the name Monica in the US

Monica is a female given name and the variants in other European languages include Monique (French & Dutch), Mónica (Spanish Portuguese & Italian), Mônica (Brazilian Portuguese), Monika (Polish, Slovak, Slovine, Lithuanian, Croatian, Finnish, German & Indian, Czech, Bulgarian, Latvian, Finnish, Swedish, Norwegian & Danish), Moonika (Estonia), Mónika (Hungarian) and Mònica (Catalan).  The origin is obscure but may be from a Phoenician, Punic or Berber dialect, the oldest known instance being as the name of the mother of Saint Augustine of Hippo (354–430) although it has also been associated with the Ancient Greek μόνος (monos) (alone, only, sole, single).  It was Monica who converted Augustine to Christianity and in gratitude the Church also canonized her.  The Latin name Monica was from monere (to advise), an inflection of moneō, from the Proto-Italic moneō, from the primitive Indo-European monéyeti, causative from men- (to think); it was etymologically unrelated to later forms.  As an English name, it has been in use since the mid-eighteenth century while in the US, popularity peaked in the mid-1970s before beginning a gradual decline which became a precipitous plummet after 1999, something it seems reasonable to attribute to “the Monicagate effect”.

Lindsay Lohan with crossbody bags: At the LLohan Nightclub pop-up event, Playboy Club, New York, October 2019 (David Koma crystal-embellished cady midi dress with asymmetric hem, Valentino Rockstud 110mm pumps and Chanel mini tweed bag with crossbody strap from the Spring/Summer 2015 runway collection) (left) and with Louis Vuitton Louis Vuitton Le Coussin BB Bag (with a detachable crossbody strap), arriving at JFK Airport, August 2022 (right).

Creature of habit: Audrey Hepburn carrying her crossbody purse, Rome, 1971.

The crossbody bag in one form or another would have existed about as long as there have been bag-like creations for holding stuff because the design offers the advantage of transferring the weight to the shoulders (alternating if required) and leaving the user inherently "hands free".  Although for centuries a feature of military webbing, as a packaged piece of fashion, the industry usually credits the "design" of the product to Robert Sakowitz and later refinements to his daughter Bunny (she added the game-changing zipper!), the latter acknowledging a debt to the eighteenth century cross-body "strap bags".   The mix of thoughtful detailing, practicality and high prices meant that in the 1950s it soon became a a fashion staple and Audrey Hepburn (1929–1993) using one in her portrayal of the modern young spinster Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) cemented it's place.  It's never left and a crossbody bag is merely one worn across the body with the strap extending diagonally from one shoulder to the opposite hip but the utility come from (1) hands-free convenience, (2) security & stability while affording ease of access to multiple compartments and (3) the ability to optimize weight distribution.  The crossbody method can be applied to bags of various sizes and there are even crossbody wallets and small purses and while such things might sound merely decorative, men tend often forget it's not uncommon for a woman's entire outfit to include not one pocket and in an era when it's become possible to carry only one's phone, a lipstick and a small can of mace; practicality need no longer be big.

The Monica 560

France's finest ever: 1963 Facel Vega Facel II.

In the fashion business there have been a number of products named “Monica” and it’s likely this often was for no reason other than it was thought appropriately feminine and pleasing to use.  There is also an automotive footnote, the Monica 560 a French-built luxury car which was the last of the first generation of trans-Atlantic hybrids which, combining elegant European coachwork with robust, powerful, very cheap (and very thirsty) US-sourced drive-trains, flourished between the mid-1950s and the first oil shock two decades later.  It’s often said the Monica was an attempt to resurrect the much lamented Facel Vegas (1954-1964) but the founder was more nostalgic still, the industrialist Jean Tastevin (1919-2016) recalling the pre-war Delahayes, Bugattis Delages & Buccialis, French cars which ranked with the world’s finest.  However, when in the late 1960s Monsieur Tastevin surveyed the scene, even the more expensive French cars, whatever their other virtues (some of which were admittedly well concealed), were under-powered and although in many ways sophisticated, lacked the power and refinement of the British, US & European competition.  His core business was the large conglomerate Compagnie française de produits métallurgiques (CFPM) which specialized in building freight rail wagons, his imaginative business model including leasing them, a form of vertical integration which provided a stable revenue stream during periods of diminished demand.  

One of the valve cover castings for a Martin V8 installed in a prototype Monica.

With this industrial capacity and financial infrastructure, he reasoned building a car to compete with the other speciality builders (and he included in that the upper-range Mercedes-Benz, Jaguars and such) was within CFPM’s capacity and in that he may have been correct but a combination of bad decisions, bad luck and bad timing doomed the project.  The first mistake was to try to match Maserati & Ferrari in the use of a bespoke engine rather than the US V8s pragmatically adopted by Jensen, Bristol, Iso, Monterverdi and others; Tastevin wanted a thoroughbred, not a bastard.  What was available was a V8 designed by the gifted English engineer Ted Martin (1922-2010) and it was in many ways outstanding being robust, compact, powerful and light.  Convinced, Tastevin bought the rights along with the collateral contract under which Rolls-Royce agreed to handle the production, the prestige of a “Rolls-Royce-built engine” another thing which appealed.  Unfortunately, Monsieur Tastevin subsequently demanded of Rolls-Royce they guarantee the power output of each unit, an underwriting the company declined on the basis that as a manufacturing and assembly contractor of something they’d not designed and tested, they were not prepared to guarantee someone else’s work.  His contract well-written, Ted Martin kept the money and Tastevin had to find another engine.

The first (left) and second (centre) Monica prototypes and the Amiot 143M (1931-1944), a French five-seat reconnaissance bomber (right).

By early 1968, that was still to happen and prototypes were built with the Martin V8.  There was progress in that the chassis and most of the underpinnings were in close to their final form but the all-important styling was still a work in progress although that is being charitable, the appearance of the early prototypes in the tradition of some of the inter-war bombers built for the French Air Force which to this day remain among the ugliest aircraft ever to fly.  The English were involved in the appearance of the early cars so blame can be shared and it wasn’t until the Italian carrozzeria Vignale became involved, something like the final, sleek form emerged although the work would be brought to fruition by others because Vignale subsequently was shuttered.  One thing which was deemed right as soon as the decision was made was the car’s name: Madam Tastevin’s name was Monique.

The Monica stand, Paris Motor Show, 1972.

The Monica made its debut at the Paris Motor Show, late in 1972 and impressed many with the look of its jewel-like V8 and sumptuous interior although the price raised a few eyebrows, costing as much as two Citroën SMs, then the most expensive car produced in France.  In the way of such things, the sales projections were optimistic, suggesting as many as 500 Monicas annually even though the market for big, expensive four-door saloons had become crowded; not only were specialists like Iso, Monterverdi and De Tomaso offering fully-developed and well-established models with reliable US V8s, Jaguar’s V12-powered XJ12 had set a dynamic benchmark at an extraordinarily low price and Mercedes-Benz were rumoured to be preparing a 7.4 litre (452 cubic inch) version of their epoch making S-Class (W116) (post-oil shock, eventually it would in 1975 surface as the 450 SEL 6.9).  Still, in 1972, generally, there was faith in the future.

1973 Monica 560 interior.  The engine was from the US, the leather & burl walnut was English, it was styled in Italy and the gearbox was German (or from the US if automatic).  It had a "French flavor". 

There optimism was still in the air in 1973 (the oil wouldn’t stop flowing until October) but by then the hunt was on for a new engine.  The contractual squabble with Rolls-Royce was one thing but by then, it had anyway finally occurred to Tastevin’s inexperienced team that the Martin V8, an enlarged racing engine, was never going to possess the characteristics needed in a luxury car.  It was noisy, at its best with a manual gearbox and at anything but high revs (where it needed to operate to produce the required power), somewhat rough.  In the early 1960s the Maserati Quattroporte had been much the same and it sold well but then there were few alternatives and the world had moved on; what buyers now wanted was the turbine-like smoothness of the XJ12 or the effortless torque of the big-displacement V8 hybrids.  The 3.4 litre (209 cubic inch) Martin V8 was a vibrant thing which would have been entertaining in a sports car but it wasn't what the target market now expected in a luxury saloon.  Tastevin’s original plan had been to build a high-performance sports car and the switch to four-door coachwork came early in the development process.  Of all the hybrids built in the era, the Monica was the only one never offered as a coupé. 

One of the few: 1974 Monica 560 Berlina.

Surrendering to the inevitable, Tastevin phoned Detroit and arranged to purchase a batch of Chrysler’s 340 cubic inch (5.6 litre) (LA) V8s, one of the best of the small-block engines of the era and equally adaptable either to the company’s TorqueFlite automatic transmission or the ZF five-speed manual which still had real appeal for some.  Although by then somewhat detuned from its peak during the muscle car years, the 340 could be run in Europe without most of the power-sapping anti-pollution gear insisted on by US regulators (things were different then) and the performance was sparkling; in deference to Europeans for whom cubic inches were mysterious, the car was named the Monica 560.  In 1974, the finished product was ready for sale although inflation meant the already high price had risen by over 50% since 1972 and the four-fold increase in the price of oil in the wake of the embargo had punished demand for fast, thirsty, cars, especially those from a previously unknown manufacturer.  By late 1974, many of the makers of the trans-Atlantic hybrids were either closed or in the throes of what would for most be a not long-protracted demise.  After 17 Monicas were sold in a few months, it was obvious the math was wrong and in February 1975, the company’s closure was announced, one of many such press-releases that year and while a handful of uncompleted chassis were brought to a finished state by a contracted third party, it’s never been clear how many.  Had the Monica 560 been brought to market in 1968 or 1969, it might have enjoyed some years of modest suggest although there’s no reason to believe it would have weathered the winds of change brought by the 1970s any better that the others which fell victim.