Bucket

Bucket (pronounced buhk-it)

(1) A deep, cylindrical vessel, usually of metal, plastic, or wood, with a flat bottom and a semi-circular bail, for collecting, carrying, or holding water, sand, fruit etc; a pail.

(2) Any container related to or suggesting this.

(3) In earth-moving and related machinery, any of the scoops attached to or forming the endless chain in certain types of conveyors or elevators.

(4) The scoop or clamshell of a steam shovel, power shovel, or dredge.

(5) A vane or blade of a waterwheel, paddle wheel, water turbine, or the like.

(6) In dam design, a concave surface at the foot of a spillway for deflecting the downward flow of water.

(7) In basketball, an informal term for the field goal; the part of the keyhole extending from the foul line to the end line.

(8) In seat design, as "bucket seat", most associated with cars, an individual seat for one person (as opposed to the bench seat for two or more).

(9) In ten-pin bowling, a "leave" of the two, four, five, and eight pins, or the three, five, six, and nine pins.

(10) To lift, carry, or handle in a bucket (often followed by up or out).

(11) In slang, to ride a horse fast and without concern for tiring it; also, used as slang for driving fast, both mostly UK use.

(12) To handle (orders, transactions, etc.) in or as if in a "bucket shop".

(13) In computer operating systems, as download bucket, a unit of storage on a direct-access device from which data can be stacked and retrieved; a storage space in a hash table for every item sharing a particular key.

(14) A unit of measure equal to four (Imperial) gallons (UK archaic).

(15) In Canadian (mostly Toronto) disparaging slang, a suggestion someone uses crack cocaine.

(16) In slang, an old vehicle that is not in good working order (often as rust bucket).

(17) In variation management, a mechanism for avoiding the allocation of targets in cases of mismanagement.

(18) As "bucket bag", the leather socket for holding the whip when driving (horses and sled-dogs), or for the carbine or lance when mounted (cavalry use).

(19) The pitcher in certain orchids.

(20) A type of narrow brimmed hat, and as slang, hats in general; the use as “brain bucket” is specific to crash helmets.

(21) In rowing, to make, or cause to make (the recovery), with a certain hurried or unskilful forward swing of the body.

(22) A pulley (a now obsolete Norfolk dialectical use).

(23) As "bucket bong", an improvised form of drug paraphernalia assembled for the purpose of smoking weed and consisting of a bucket filled with water and a plastic bottle with the bottom surface removed.  Social media platforms host instructional video clips for those who wish to hone their technique. 

(24) As "bucket list", (1) a list of tasks to be undertaken following discussions (the idea of them being put "in a bucket") and (2) a list of the things one wishes to have done before one dies (ie "kicks the bucket"). 

1250–1300: From the Middle English buket & boket, partly from the Anglo-Norman buket & buqet (tub, pail) and partly from the Old English bucc (bucket, pitcher), (a variant of būc (vessel, belly (cognate with the Old High German būh & the German Bauch)) + the Old French –et.  The suffix –et was from the Middle English -et, from the Old French –et & its feminine variant -ette, from the Late Latin -ittus (and the other gender forms -itta & -ittum).  It was used to form diminutives, loosely construed. The Anglo-Norman words (which in Norman had existed as boutchet & bouquet) were from the Old French buc (abdomen; object with a cavity), from the Vulgar Latin būcus (similar forms were the Occitan and Catalan buc, the Italian buco & buca (hole, gap), from the Frankish būk (belly, stomach).  Both the Old English and Frankish terms derive ultimately from the Proto-Germanic būkaz (belly, stomach).  The modern meaning "pail or open vessel for drawing and carrying water and other liquids" emerged by the mid-thirteenth century, the link to the idea conveyed by the Old English buc (pitcher, bulging vessel (originally "belly")) is that buckets were originally crafted from leather before being made of word and later metal.

Lindsay Lohan taking the #ALSIceBucketChallenge on the Jimmy Fallon show, August 2014.  The Ice Bucket Challenge was a viral event to promote awareness of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, also known as motor neuron disease and in the United States as Lou Gehrig's disease) and raise money for research.

In idiomatic use, a “drop in the bucket” is a small, usually inadequate amount in relation to what is needed or requested.  To “kick the bucket” (dating from 1785) means “to drop dead” which may be from the unrelated (1570s) bucket (beam on which something may be hung or carried), from the French buquet (balance), a beam from which slaughtered animals were hung (by the heels or hooves).  This may also have been reinforced by the notion of suicide by hanging after standing on an upturned bucket (apparently once a most popular choice for the purpose).  The related “bucket list” is the list of things one should do before dropping dead dates only from 2007 but had earlier been used in coding to describe algorithm sorting.  To “drop the bucket on” is (mostly Australian slang) to implicate, incriminate, or expose, used also in the form to “give (someone) a bucketing”..

Wet & Dry: Lindsay Lohan takes the #ALSIceBucketChallenge on the Jimmy Fallon show, August 2014.  

Showing a concern for public opinion (an under-researched aspect of the dynamics of totalitarian systems), comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) used the phrase in this sense in 1939 during the negotiations for the Nazi-Soviet Pact when he observed it would be wise to tone down the effusive language describing the friendship between the two dictatorships which were, at least on paper, ideologically opposed (although the various similarities between the two were, even then, acknowledged as quite striking): "For many years now, we have been pouring buckets of shit on each other's heads, and our propaganda boys could not do enough in that direction. And now, all of a sudden, are we to make our peoples believe that all is forgotten and forgiven? Things don't work that fast."  In most of the English-speaking world, bucket is the preferred term.  Both bucket and pail are used throughout the US, pail most popular in the north, bucket more common elsewhere, especially in the mid-west and the south.  Bucket is a noun, verb and (less commonly) an adjective, the present participle bucketing and the past and past participle bucketed; the noun plural is buckets.  To say the rain is “bucketing down” suggests hard rain or anything in great quantity and later Nobel literature laureate Bob Dylan included the track Buckets of Rain on his album Blood on the Tracks (1975).  Presumably untypically in popular song, the word from the title appears in the first four lines and not thereafter:

Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand

More ominous was the use in 1997 by Tim Fischer (1946–2019; leader of the National Party of Australia 1990-1999).  In Wik Peoples v Queensland [1996] HCA 40-187 CLR 1, the High Court of Australia (HCA) had handed down a judgement which, in certain limited circumstances, granted to certain indigenous peoples (the “traditional owners of the land”) a “native title” which could exist concurrently if events since European settlement had not “extinguished” that status.  In September 1997, John Howard (b 1939; prime minister of Australia 1996-2007) introduced to the parliament his government’s legislative response to the decision: the Native Title Amendment Bill (1997 and known as the “Ten Point Plan”) which proposed to broaden the power of governments to extinguish native title, remove the right to claim over urban areas and make the initiation of claims more burdensome.  Mr Howard explained things thus: “My aim has always been to strike a fair balance between respect for native title and security for pastoralists, farmers and miners.  The fact is that the Wik decision pushed the pendulum too far in the Aboriginal direction.  The 10 point plan will return the pendulum to the centre.”  Mr Fischer was earthier, telling the National Party faithful the purpose of the Ten Point Plan was to deliver “…bucket loads of extinguishment.”

Mercedes-Benz 220 SE Coupé (foreground) & cabriolet (background) with standard rear bench seats, Frankfurt, September 1961 (left) & 1965 220 SE coupé with safari seat option (right).

One rarely specified option on the early Mercedes-Benz W111 (1961-1971; 220 SE, 250 SE, 280 SE & 280 SE 3.5) & W112 (1962-1967; 300 SE) coupés and cabriolets was the fitting of two individual (bucket) seats in the rear instead of the usual bench.  Individual seats in a car’s rear compartment had actually been not uncommon in the early days of motoring but by 1961, when the W111 coupé was released at the Geneva Motor Show, except for a few coach-built rarities, the option was unique.  The factory called then “safari seats”, the source of that being their special metal frame which actually permitted them to be removed and placed on the ground outside, the implication presumably that this would be handy for those on safari who wished to sit outside and watch the zebras.  Whether many of these machines were taken on safari isn’t known but the concept was transferrable to those going on picnics or watching the polo.  On both sides of the Atlantic, the fitting of individual rear-seats caught on for some high-end models but other than in some utility vehicles intended mostly for off-road use, no manufacturer made them removable.

Rear buckets, top row, left to right: 1986 Ferrari 412, 2021 Mercedes-Benz GLS 600 Maybach edition, 1974 Jensen Interceptor and 1975 Lamborghini Jamara S.  Bottom row, left to right: 1973 Ford (Australia) Landau, 2014 Bentley Continental GTC Speed, 1974 Lamborghini Espada Series III and 1988 BMW M6.  The sheer volume of the surface area can make the four-seat machines expensive to restore, something the Jensen Interceptor demanding as many as seven hides, a high-quality re-trim in the US costing usually in excess of US$20,000.   

As a marker of the things which increase appeal as the price rises (extravagance, exclusivity, impracticality) rear bucket sets became popular in the 1970s, installed increasingly with the full-length consoles which offered an accessible housing for cigar lighters & ashtrays (then still a thing) and stowage compartments though nobody had yet thought of cup-holders.  Like many forms of design they represented one implementation of the trade-off inherent in engineering: optimizing one aspect can be achieved only at the cost of compromising another.  The Ford Australia’s 1973 Landau was based on the humble Falcon which, configured with bench seats front and rear, was designed to seat, in reasonable comfort, six adults.  The Landau was strictly a four seater but both comfort and visual impact greatly were enhanced.

1966 Dodge Hemi Charger.

One mainstream manufacturer which anticipated the adoption of the motif was Dodge which in 1966 released the first generation (1966-1967) of the Charger, an intermediate-sized fastback which suffered in the market because (1) the price was high and (2) the ungainly slab-sided styling.  Still, the aerodynamic qualities of the fastback’s lines worked well (after a few tweaks) at high-speed on the NASCAR ovals so at least one department in Dodge division was happy.  In an attempt to stimulate demand, Dodge “de-contented” the 1967 models, one sacrifice being the rear bucket seats which were replaced by a more utilitarian (and cheaper to produce) bench.  The market didn’t respond but it did in 1968 when a sleek new body debuted with the second generation (1968-1970), sales increasing more than three-fold.  Unfortunately (in another example of trade-offs), the stylish shape which persuades so many buyers didn’t impress the laws of physics and it proved quite unstable at racing speeds, something it would take the corporation two attempts (and the assistance of genuine rocket scientists who became available as one unintended consequence of Richard Nixon’s (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) arm-control initiatives, a prelude to the later police of détente with the Soviet Union) to resolve.  The 1966 Charger possessed a most unusual combination of virtues, able to be ordered with the 426 cubic inch (7.0) Street Hemi V8 (a slightly detuned version of the one used in NASCAR competition) yet the twin rear bucket seats could be folded down to create a large space for cargo (a la station wagon), accessible from the truck (boot).1967 Lamborghini Marzal, perhaps the purest implementation ever of the “four-bucket” look.

1967 Lamborghini Marzal, perhaps the purest implementation ever of the “four-bucket” look.

A one-off concept car first shown at the 1967 Genera Auto Salon, the Marzal was a marvellously impractical design by Bertone’s Marcello Gandini (1938–2024) which featured two vast gull-wing doors, providing access to what genuinely was a four-seat interior, noted for the thematic use of hexagons.  It was powered by a transversely-mounted 2.0 litre (120 cubic inch) straight-six (essentially half of the company’s V12) which was fitted behind the rear axle, making the rear-bias in weight distribution rather pronounced.  It was one of the most dramatic designs of the decade and although production was never contemplated, traces of the silhouette can be seen in the Lamborghini Espada (1968-1978) which adopted a conventional front-location for its 3.9 litre (240 cubic inch) V12 and was also a creditable four-seater although the gull-wing doors used on early design studies quickly were abandoned.  The Espada featured notably less glass than the Marzal and many have expressed doubts the air-conditioning system able to be used in the Marzal would in high temperatures have coped with the heat-soak and build-up.

Cockpit of a replica Porsche 907K (Kurzheck (short tail); note the balsa-wood gearshift knob, a weight-saving measure which made the car a few grams lighter and while that may not sound worthwhile, by 1968 competition in Group 6 was fierce and nobody was giving anything away.

The Porsche 907 competed under the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile’s (the FIA; the International Automobile Federation) Group 6 (Prototype class) in the World Sportscar Championship and one rule was the cars have “two seats”.  Accordingly, just about every Group 6 Machine on the grid had bolted to the floor a lightweight, shell-like “bucket seat” (the Group 7 (unlimited displacement) Can-Am cars also used the trick) although, as the lack of seat belts and the location of the fire extinguisher suggest, it wasn’t a seat in which someone was intended to sit.  The approach had a long tradition, as early as the 1920s, cars used in European racing were sometimes fitted with tiny doors just conform with the rules which demanded they be in place; some were even “fake doors”, blatant cheating being another long tradition in motorsport.

Porsche 907 K (left) and Porsche 907LH (right).

Built in 1967-1968 and victorious in 12 Hours of Sebring and the Targa Florio in 1968, the 907K was used on circuits where really high speeds couldn’t be attained, the rear bodywork designed to increase the down-force most beneficial in places with lots of corners.  The companion 907LH (Langheck (long-tail)) was allocated to the high speed tracks where the long straights put a premium on top speed, the drivers having to adjust their techniques to compensate for the increased tendency for the LH in certain circumstances to lift.  That approach (again, trade-offs in action) proved manageable, even with speed the 907s could attain (Kurzheck: 302 km/h (188 mph) & Langheck: 330 km/h (205 mph)) but the instability inherent in Langheck shape became apparent in 1969 when the much more powerful 917 was released: At the 386 km/h (240 mph) it could reach on the longest straights, the fluid dynamics of the airflow made the long tail behave more like the way an aircraft’s wing creates lift, something discovered only when the first cars reached the circuits because Porsche had no access to a test track where such a speed could be reached, computer simulations then decades away.

1967 Porsche 910 (Chassis 910001).

There were though occasions on which a harness was fitted to the fibreglass “fake seats”.  Sometimes passengers were present during high-speed testing but a Porsche 910 (Chassis 910001) was in 1969 registered in Austria for road use, thus the need for restraints.  That what was so obviously a race car could be registered for use on the streets but Austria was not then a member of the EEC (the European Economic Community, predecessor of the EU (European Union)) and thus not as riddled with bureaucracy, rules & regulations and anyway, in the era, there was more freedom in the air.  A half-decade on, by having his lawyers thread a clause through a loophole, a well-connected (and resourced) Italian aristocrat was able to use the registration granted (in never wholly explained circumstances) by the Alabama DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to be able to register a Porsche 917 for use on European roads and another 917 to this day remains registered in Monaco, one of those jurisdictions where some definitely are more equal than others.  In fairness to the Austrians, the 910 was a less extreme machine than the 917 and demanded fewer modifications to render it a plausible road-car; there are still street-legal 910s in the US.

Porsche 908/2 Spyder, Road Atlanta, Round 7 of the 1970 Can-Am season, September 1970.  Can-Am cars also used a "fake" bucket seat because "two seats" was one of the few rules.

Based on the Porsche 906 (1966) the 910 was produced during 1966-1967 with all 28 coupés built in 1967.  Most used 2.0 & 2.2 litre (121 & 132 cubic inch) flat-sixes but some were fitted with a 2.0 litre flat-eight and these were dubbed 910/8 rather than being separately designated.  The 910/8 proved faster but also more fragile and it was the six-cylinder 910 which in the 1967 Nürburgring 1000 km (625 mile) endurance race delivered the factory its “breakthrough” victory, securing Porsche its first trophy in a major World Sportscar Championship event since 1960; subsequently, a910 would also be victorious in the 1967 Targa Florio.  Development continued and a 3.0 litre (182 cubic inch) flat-eight 908 would even win the 1970 Road Atlanta round of the 1970 Canadian-American Challenge Cup (the Group 7 Can-Am for unlimited displacement sports cars), a remarkable event remembered for the drivers escaping with noting more than bruising, despite there being 16 accidents (four collisions and 12 spinouts).  Although the 908 was not a factory entry (it was a second-hand race car being run by an unsponsored privateer) and, against the seven and eight litre V8 monsters was not the fastest, the flat-eight proved reliable and prevailed; it was the first time in 20 Can-Am races a McLaren had not taken the chequered flag.  It was a harbinger of what was to come, the Porsche 917 dominating in 1972 and 1973.

Subaru BRAT with “outdoor bucket seats” in use.

It wasn’t only machines made for Group 6 & 7 racing which were fitted with lightweight, plastic seats to comply with the letter of the law.  The Subaru BRAT was (depending on linguistic practice) (1) a coupé utility, (2) a compact pick-up or (3) a small four wheel drive (4WD) ute (utility) and the name an acronym (Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter), the novel idea of “bi-drive” (4WD) being the notion of both axles being driven, something dictated by the need to form the acronym.  Although now in some places a cult vehicle (especially in Japan where it was never sold), the BRAT is now most remembered as a “Chicken Tax car”.  Tax regimes have a long history of influencing or dictating automotive design, the Japanese system of displacement-based taxation responsible for the entire market segment of “Kei cars” (a clipping of kei-jidōsha (軽自動車) (light automobile), the best known of which have been produced with 360, 600 & 660 cm3 (22, 37 & 40 cubic inch) engines in an astonishing range of configurations ranging from micro city cars to roadsters and 4WD dump trucks.  In Europe too, the post-war fiscal threshold resulted in a wealth of manufacturers (Mercedes-Benz, Jaguar, BMW, Ford, Maserati, Opel etc) offering several generations of 2.8 litre (171 cubic inch) sixes while the that imposed by the Italian government saw special runs of certain 2.0 litre (122 cubic inch) fours, sixes & even V8s.  The US government’s “Chicken Tax” (a part of the “Chicken War”) was different in that it was a 25% tariff imposed in 1963 by the Johnson administration on potato starch, dextrin, brandy and light trucks; it was a response to the impost of a similar tariffs by France and the FRG (Federal Republic of Germany, the old West Germany) on chicken meat imported from the US.

Two 1987 BRATs with retro-fitted seats, the one on the right also with an after-market roll-bar, something which, all things considered, seems a sensible addition.  Of the physics, those familiar Sir Isaac Newton's (1642–1727) First Law of Motion (known also as the Law of Inertia: "An object at rest will remain at rest, and an object in motion will continue in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced external force") can ponder the possibilities while wondering whether to bother buckling up the seat belt or just rely on the "grab handles" (and probably never was that term used more appropriately).  Although the seats weren't factory-fitted after 1985, the parts could still be ordered and many later models have been retro-fitted.  The adjustable headrests were a nice touch although some did note they could be classified also as "rear window protectors".

In Fuji Heavy Industries’ (then Subaru’s parent corporation) Ebisu boardroom, the challenge of what probably was described as the “Chicken Tax Incident” was met by adding to the BRAT two plastic, rear-facing jump seats, thereby qualifying the vehicle as a “passenger car” subject in the US only to a 2.5 and not a 25% import tax.  Such a “feature” probably seems strange in the regulatory environment of the 2020s but there was a time when there was more freedom in the air.  Subaru’s US operation decided the BRAT’s “outdoor bucket seats” made it an “open tourer” and slanted the advertising thus, the model enjoying much success although the additional seating wasn’t available after 1985 and the model was withdrawn from the US market after 1987.

1966 Lamborghini 350 GT in the rare 2+1 configuration with central rear bucket seat (left), the later rear storage area shared by most 350 GTs and the 23 400 GT “Interims” (centre) and 1968 Lamborghini 400 GT 2+2 (right).

Lamborghini’s 350 GT was the company’s first production car, 131 of which were made between 1964-1966 and while that might sound modest, by the standards of contemporary European exotica, it was mass-production.  Powered by a 3.5 litre (211 cubic inch) version of the company’s first V12 (which would serve the line for over 50 years), the shape was based on the slinky 350 GTV prototype which left an impression but was wholly unsuited to series production.  Either nine or ten of the early GT 350s were configured with an unusual 2+1 seating arrangement (two buckets in the front and one, centrally located, in the rear).  On the later 350 GTs, the central bucket wasn’t fitted and the whole space was configured as a storage area with an upholstered shelf so it can be thought of as Lamborghini’s take on the two-door business coupé, a US creation of the 1930s which was a conventional two-door sedan with no rear-seat, the area added to the trunk (boot), providing travelling salesmen with a large, lockable storage space for their wares.  When the 400 GT (1966-1968 and powered by a 3.9 litre (240 cubic inch) V12) was released, the first 23 were configured with the upholstered shelf (and known semi-formally as the “400 GT Interim”) while the remainder of the 247 featured 2+2 seating.

Seatbelt not required: 1964 Mercedes-Benz 230 SL with Kindetsitz.  Like the un-belted baby in the Corvair, the occupant of the kinder seat would be subject to Newton's First Law of Motion.

There were other 2+1s and for all of the 1960s Mercedes-Benz offered the not uncommonly ordered option of transverse single seat (centre) made the W113 (230, 250 & 280 SL, 1963-1971)  roadster, making it one of the rare post-war 2+1s.  While it could accommodate an adult-sized human, the factory listed it as the Kindetsitz (child's seat, code 565) although German men often preferred Schwiegermutterplatz or Schwiegermuttersitz (mother-in-law seat).  That the factory would offer (in a convertible!) a "child's seat" which sat sideways and was fitted with no restraint system is an indication of how things have changed.

Donald Healey Motor Company’s Speed Equipment Catalogue 1960-1961.

Dubious though the safety credentials of the Kindetsitza may now seem, at least Mercedes-Benz secured it to the structure with good, German high-tensile nuts and bolts and that can be C&Ced (compared & contrasted) with the approach the British once took when designing a child’s seat.  Listed in the 1960-1961 Speed Equipment Catalogue from the Donald Healey Motor Company was a child’s seat for the Austin-Healey Sprite, a diminutive roadster which was definitely a two-seater (although “rear seats” were at time offered, both third-party miniature “buckets” and a factory “bench” although the latter, supplied without a squab, is better described as a “padded parcel shelf”).  Unlike the Germans, the Healey product was held in place only by the pressure the four steel prongs exerted on the transmission tunnel on which it sat and while that meant it was quick and easy to fit and remove, were one’s Sprite suddenly to come to a halt (ie crashing into something), child and (depending on velocity at point of impact) seat would be subject to Newton’s second law of motion.  Clearly, the UK’s latter day reputation as a latter-day hotbed of H&S (health & Safety) legislation and enforcement was unknown in 1960.

Awaiting "installation" and lucky young passenger: Donald Healey Motor Company’s Child's Seat for Austin-Healey Sprite.

Pros: Looks comfortable for a child; finished in leathercloth with contrasting piping to match interior trim; can be installed or removed literally in seconds; location permits child to use feet to play with gear shifter, keeping them amused on long trips.

Cons: Unsecured installation means in the event of an accident, depending on speed of impact, it would function like an ejector seat and, were the roadster’s roof at the time not erected, trajectory of seat and child would be either (1) into or (2) over windscreen; location permits child to use feet to play with gear shifter, possibly knocking car out of gear or selecting incorrect gear.

US market 1958 Austin-Healey Sprite ("Bugeye" or "Frogeye") with Healey's "child's seat" in place. 

The “child's seat” was a Donald Healey Motor Company part number and not one which appeared in the lists of BMC (British Motor Corporation) which was the corporate umbrella under which Healey operated.  Although advertised only during the era of the Austin-Healey Sprite Mark 1 (1958-1961; the so-called “bugeye” or “frogeye”), the useful option could be fitted to any subsequent Sprite or the companion (and substantially identical) MG Midget. When the Sprite first was revised in 1961, simultaneously the MG Midget was released and it continued until 1980 while the Sprite lasted only until 1971 (and in its final season sold as the “Austin Sprite” after the contract with Donald Healey expired).  Perhaps predictably, Healy’s child’s seat was not a big seller and although (hopefully) no longer used for its intended purpose, the rarity and shock value (to twenty-first century eyes) make it a prized option in the Sprite community.

A full bucket of VPOTUS.

In the US during the nineteenth century there was a joke about two brothers: "One ran off to sea and the other became vice-president; neither were ever heard of again."  That was of course an exaggeration but it reflected the general view of the office which has very few formal duties and can only ever be as powerful or influential as a president allows although the incumbent is "a heartbeat from the presidency".  John Nance Garner III (1868–1967, vice president of the US 1933-1941), a reasonable judge of these things, once told Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; US president 1963-1969) being VPOTUS was "not worth a bucket of warm piss" (which is polite company usually is sanitized as "...bucket of warm spit").  In the US, a number of VPOTUSs (Vice-President of the United States) have become POTUS (President of the United States) and some have worked out well although of late the record has not been encouraging, the presidencies of Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; VPOTUS 1961-1963, POTUS 1963-1968), Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961, POTUS 1969-1974) and Joe Biden (b 1942; VPOTUS 2008-2017, POTUS 2021-2025) 1963-1968, all ending badly, in despair, disgrace and decrepitude respectively.

Microsoft Internet Explorer 1.0 (1995).

Microsoft's Internet Explorer (usually referred to as IE (IE7, IE8 etc by nerds) was in June 2022 officially retired.  It was released in 1995 as part of the Plus! package for Windows 95 which, remarkable as it now seems, shipped to an expectant and receptive market without any vision of it being a platform for internet access, Microsoft's preferred model their proprietary walled-garden the Microsoft Network (MSN).  The public’s reaction meant corporate belief in that model didn't last and MSN was soon re-positioned as just another place to go on the internet.  IE had its early controversies because of the use of code belonging to other companies and subsequently because it was given away or bundled with Microsoft's operating systems, thereby undermining the business model of competing companies which had developed browsers as shrink-wrap products to be sold for a profit.  With a few twists and turns, those issues worked their way (slowly) through US and European courts, Microsoft often using what had become the industry's preferred  solution: Throw money at the problem and it goes away.  That approach was applied too to product development and sometimes it needed to be, Windows 95, IE4 and the then mysterious “Active Desktop” ensemble resisting many attempts to secure stability.

Lindsay Lohan in bucket hat.

Still, most competition thus eliminated, IE went on to great things and early in the century enjoyed a market-share which at its peak exceeded 90%, the penetration assisted greatly by IE being the choice of many corporations which began using the browser as their default interface for internal as well as external access.  However, this very success was what ultimately doomed IE as Microsoft was compelled to retain much legacy support within the browser to accommodate the corporations which generated so much of Microsoft’s revenue.  Newer competitors were able to offer faster, more flexible browsers with modernized interfaces and gradually gained critical mass, IE by 2020 confined mostly to those corporations using legacy applications with a specific dependence.  Indeed, although noting IE’s retirement, for the affected corporations Microsoft is retaining a small subset of software support on Windows Server 2019 and the Windows 10 LTSC (Long-Term Servicing Channel), the latter in five and ten year programmes.

Pol Roger Champagne ice bucket by Argit of France in nickel plated brass, circa 1920.

Unfashionable though it became, there was one aspect of IE which for years worked better than the implementation on other browsers: The handling of download buckets.  Download buckets are the places on operating systems which permit users to tag files for downloading as a batch, rather than having to download each individually.  For whatever reason, IE’s download buckets seemed for years always more stable than the newer entrants.  Even today, Microsoft’s own update catalogue offers support for a download bucket on IE but not on other browsers although, helpfully, Microsoft’s own (Chromium-based) Edge browser can be configured with an “IE mode” which continues to support the bucket, the “Add” and “Remove” options appearing as before.

Microsoft Update Catalog on IE (and Edge in IE mode).

Microsoft Update Catalog on Chromium-based browsers (and Firefox) in native mode.

Basketweave

Basketweave (pronounced bah-skit-weev (U) or bas-kit-weev (non-U))

(1) A plain woven pattern with two or more groups of warp and weft threads are interlaced to render a checkerboard appearance resembling that of a woven basket; historically applied especially (in garment & fabric production) to wool & linen items and (in furniture, flooring etc), fibres such as cane, bamboo etc.

(2) Any constructed item assembled in this pattern.

(4) In the natural environment, any structure (animal, vegetable or mineral) in this pattern.

(5) In automotive use, a stylized wheel, constructed usually in an alloy predominately of aluminum and designed loosely in emulation of the older spoked (wire) wheels.

1920–1925: The construct was basket + weave (and used variously as basketweave, basket-weave & basket weave depending on industry, product, material etc).  Basket was from the thirteenth century Middle English basket (vessel made of thin strips of wood, or other flexible materials, interwoven in a great variety of forms, and used for many purposes), from the Anglo-Norman bascat, of obscure origin.  Bascat has attracted much interest from etymologists but despite generations of research, its source has remained elusive.  One theory is it’s from the Late Latin bascauda (kettle, table-vessel), from the Proto-Brythonic (in Breton baskodenn), from the Proto-Celtic baskis (bundle, load), from the primitive Indo-European bhask- (bundle) and presumably related to the Latin fascis (bundle, faggot, package, load) and a doublet of fasces.  In ancient Rome, the bundle was a material symbol of a Roman magistrate's full civil and military power, known as imperium and it was adopted as the symbol of National Fascist Party in Italy; it’s thus the source of the term “fascism”.  Not all are convinced, the authoritative Oxford English Dictionary (OED) noting there is no evidence of such a word in Celtic unless later words in Irish and Welsh (sometimes counted as borrowings from English) are original.  However, if the theory is accepted, the implication is the original meaning was something like “wicker basket”, wicker one of the oldest known methods of construction.  The word was first used to mean “a goal in the game of basketball” in 1892, the use extended to “a score in basketball” by 1898.  In the 1980s, as operating systems evolved, programmers would have had the choice of “basket” or “bucket” to describe the concept of a “place where files are stored or reference prior to processing” and they choose the latter, thus creating the “download bucket”, “handler bucket” etc.  On what basis the choice was made isn’t known but it may be that baskets, being often woven, are prone to leak while non-porous buckets are not.  Programmers hate leaks.  Basketweave, basketweaver & basketweaving are nouns; the noun plural is basketweaves.  The adjectives basketweavelike, basketweaveish & basketweavesque and the verbs basketweaving and basketweaved (the verbs of politicians being evasive) are all non-standard.

A classic basketweave pattern.

Weave was from the Middle English weven (to weave), from the Old English wefan (to weave), from the Proto-West Germanic weban, from the Proto-Germanic webaną, from the primitive Indo-European webh (to weave, braid).  The sense of weave as “to wander around; not travel in a straight line” was also in the early fourteenth century absorbed by the Middle English weven and was probably from the Old Norse veifa (move around, wave), related to the Latin vibrare, from vibrō (to vibrate, to rattle, to twang; to deliver or deal (a blow)), from the  Proto-Italic wibrāō, denominative of wibros, from the primitive Indo-European weyp- (to oscillate, swing) or weyb-.  The root-final consonant has never been clear and reflexes of both are found across Indo-European languages.  The verb sense of “something woven” dates from the 1580s while the meaning “method or pattern of weaving” was from 1888.  The notion of “to move from one place to another” has been traced to the twelfth century and was presumably derived from the movements involved in the act of weaving and while it’s uncertain quite how the meaning evolved, it’s documented from early fourteenth century as conveying “move to and fro” and in the 1590s as “move side to side”,  In pugilism it would have been a natural technique from the moment the first punch was thrown but formally it entered the language of boxing (as “duck & weave”) in 1918, often as weaved or weaving.  By analogy, the phrase “duck & weave” came to be used of politicians attempting to avoid answering questions (crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013 an exemplar case-study).  In the military, weave was also used to describe evasive maneuvers undertaken on land or in the air but not at sea, the Admiralty preferring zig-zag, as the pattern would appear on charts.  The fencing method known as teenage (and as the New Yorker insists, not "teen-age") is a kind of basketweave.  Basketweave is a noun & adjective and (in irregular use) a verb and basketweaver is a noun; the noun plural is basketweaves.

Attentive basketweavers: Students in a lecture  (B.A. (Peace Studies)) at Whitworth University, Spokane, Washington, USA.

A basketweaver is of course “one who weaves baskets” but in idiomatic use, basketweaver is used also to mean “one whose skills have been rendered redundant by automation or other changes in technology”.  The term “underwater basketweaving” is used of university course thought useless (in the sense of not being directly applicable to anything vocational) and is applied especially to the “studies” genre (gender studies, peace studies, women’s studies etc).  Beyond education, it can be used of anything thought “lame, pointless, useless, worthless, a waste of time etc”.  Basketweaving is also a descriptor of a long and interlinked narrative of lies, distinguished from an ad-hoc lie in that in a basketweave of lies, there are dependencies between the untruths and, done with sufficient care, each can act to reinforce another, enabling an entire persona to be constructed.  It’s the most elaborate version of a “basket of lies” and can work but, like a woven basket, if one strand becomes lose and separates from the structure, under stress, the entire basket can unravel, spilling asunder the contents.

Highly qualified content provider Busty Buffy (b 1996) perched on basketweave chair.

The term “basketweave chair” (or other furniture types) refers not to a certain material or fabric used in the construction but instead describes the woven or interlaced design, most often using wicker, rattan or synthetic fibres, creating a “basket-like” pattern on the seat, sides or back.  Widely used (and long a favourite in the tropics or other hot places because the open-construction aided cooling by permitting air-flow), the designs range from purely decorative accent pieces to functional furniture.  However, because specific load-bearing capacity of basketweaves tended (for a given surface area) to be less than more solid implementations of the same shape, basketweaves often were used as decorative side-panels which were not subject to stress and this was a notable motif in the art deco era.  Whatever the material, the defining characteristic was the interlaced or woven pattern and the choice of material tended to be dictated by (1) price, (2) regional availability, (3) strength required and (4) desired appearance.  Rattan was known for its strength & flexibility but the term “wicker” (a general term for woven plant stems) was often used interchangeably (and sometimes misleadingly) while synthetic wickers entered mass-production in the 1950s, offering durability and increased weather-resistance but, although mimicking the look of natural fibres, remained (on close examination), obviously “a plastic”  One trend for outdoor furniture has been to use strands of aluminium, a strong, lightweight metal which doesn’t rust but can be subject to corrosion.

1960 Rolls-Royce Phantom V Sedanca de Ville by James Young (left), 1930s art deco lounge chair with rattan side panels (centre), 1965 Rolls-Royce Phantom V Seven Passenger Limousine with Sedanca de Ville coachwork by James Young= (right).

Wicker was a common sight on early automobiles because the rearward protrusion which evolved ultimately to become the “trunk” (dubbed “boot” by the English (and thus the use in most of the old British Empire) because of a different tradition) began life as literally a luggage trunk (often of wicker) which was strapped or in some way secured to the vehicle’s back.  This was an unmodified adaptation of the practice from the days of horse-drawn carriages when trunks would be carried on the back, on the roof or wherever they could be made to fit.  That was pure functionalism but cane-work had often been used as a decorative element on coaches, especially the ones commissioned by the rich for their personal use and these owners were sometimes nostalgic, thus for years the frequent appearance of cane basketweave (both real and painted) patterned panels on the sides of cars.  As the older generation died off, the trend faded but during the inter-war years it lingered, becoming one of those markers of exclusivity, transmitting to all and sundry one had something bespoke and there were coach-builders still adding the stuff as late as the 1960s, a last link with the old horse-drawn broughams.  It was expensive and therefore rare (anattraction for the tiny number of customers) because the process used a specially thickened paint which was hand-applied in a very narrow crosshatch pattern on a body panel laid flat.  Essentially, a coach-builder’s version of hand-stitched lace, it was a tedious, labor-intensive activity able to be accomplished only by a handful of increasingly aged craftsmen, demand so low in the post-war years there was little incentive to train young replacements.  It’s now often called “hand-painted faux cane-work” but James Young listed the option as “decorative sham cane”.  Now of course the look immaculately could be emulated with the use of 3D printing but it’s doubtful there'll be much demand.

Official portrait of Representative the honorable George Santos.

A classic basketweaver is George Anthony Devolder Santos (b 1988) who, in the 2022 mid-term elections for the US Congress, was elected as a representative (Republican) for New York's 3rd congressional district.  Although he seems to have passed untroubled through the Republican Party’s candidate vetting process, after his election a number of media outlets investigated and found his public persona was almost wholly untrue and contained many dubious or blatantly false claims about, inter-alia, his mother, personal biography, education, criminal record, work history, financial status, ancestry, ethnicity, sexual orientation & religion.  When confronted, Mr Santos did admit to lying about certain matters, was vague about some and ducked and weaved to avoid discussing others, especially the fraud charges in Brazil he avoided by fleeing the country.  Although a life-long Roman Catholic, Mr Santos on a number of occasions claimed to be Jewish, even fabricating stories about his family suffering losses during the Holocaust.  Later, after the lies were exposed, he told a newspaper “I never claimed to be Jewish.  I am Catholic. Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background I said I was ‘Jew-ish.”  In the right circumstances, delivered on-stage by a Jewish comedian, it might have been a good punch-line.

Few are laughing however and Mr Santos is under investigation by both Brazilian and US authorities.  However, despite many calls (from Republicans and Democrats alike) that he resign from Congress, Mr Santos has refused and the Republican house leadership, working with an unexpectedly paper-thin majority, has shown no enthusiasm to pursue the matter.  What Mr Santos has done is expose the limitations of the basketweaving technique.  While a carefully built construct can work, it relies on no loose threads being exposed and while this can be manageable for those not public figures, for anyone exposed to investigation, in the twenty-first century such deceptions are probably close to impossible to achieve and Mr Santos was probably lured into excessive self-confidence because, in relative anonymity, he had for years managed to deceive, fooling many including the Republican Party and perhaps even himself.  In retrospect, he might one day ponder how he ever thought he’d get away with it.  One thing that remains unclear is how he should be addressed.  Members of the House of Representatives typically are addressed as "the honorable" in formal use but this is merely a courtesy title and is not a requirement.  The use is left to individual members and as far as is known, Mr Santos has not yet indicated whether he wishes people to address him as “the honorable George Santos”.

Of wheels

Borrani wire wheels on 1972 Ferrari 365 GTB/4 (Daytona) coupé (far left), ROH “Hotwire” wheels on 1974 Holden Torana SL/R 5000 (with after-market flares emulating those used on the L34 (1974) and A9X models (1977-1978)), centre left), “Basketweave” wheels on 1990 Jaguar XJS coupé (centre right) & 1986 Holden Piazza (a badge-engineered Isuzu Piazza (1981-1993) which failed to find success in Australia because the on-road dynamics didn't match the high price and attractive lines).

Basketweave wheels remain popular (although some feelings may become strained when it comes time to clean the things) but visually, the use of “basketweave” to describe the construction was sometimes a bit of a stretch and often “lattice” was is preferred which seems architecturally closer.  Were the motif of the classic basketweave to be applied to a wheel it would look something those used on the Holden Piazza, briefly (1986-1989) available on the Australian market.  Because it’s not easy successfully to integrate something inherently square or rectangular into a small, circular object, such designs never caught on although variations were tried.  The “basketweave” wheels which did endure owed little to the classic patterns used in fashion, furniture & architecture although there are identifiable hints in the construction so people understand the connection and rather than thought of as a continuation of the design elements drawn from the traditions of weaving, the wheels really established a fork of the meaning.  As a design, they were an evolution of the “hotwire” style popular in the 1970s when was a deliberate attempt to echo the style of the classic spoked (wire) wheels which, being lighter and offering better brake cooling properties than steel disk wheels, were for decades the wheel of choice for high performance vehicles.  That changed in the 1960s as speeds & vehicle weight rose and tyres became wider and stickier, a combination of factors which meant wire wheels were no longer strong enough to endure the rising stresses.  Additionally, the wire wheel was labor intensive to make in an era when that beginning to matter, wheels cast from an alloy predominately of aluminum were cheaper to produce as well as stronger.

Pink & polka-dot combo by by Amiparism: Lindsay Lohan, in Ami three button jacket and flare-fit trousers in wool gabardine with Ami small Deja-Vu bag, Interview Magazine, November 2022.  Jaguar first fitted the basketweave (or lattice and some Jaguar owners call them "starflake") wheels in 1984. 

The car is a Jaguar XJS (1975-1996 and labeled XJ-S until mid-1991) convertible.  Upon debut, the XJ-S was much criticized by those who regarded as a "replacement" for the slinky E-Type (although, belying appearances, the XJ-S was more aerodynamically efficient), but Jaguar had never thought of it like that, taking the view motoring conditions and the legislative environment had since 1961 changed so much the days of the classic roadsters were probably done except for a few low volume specialists.  In truth, in its final years, the E-Type was no longer quite the sensuous shape which had wowed the crowed at the 1961 Geneva Salon but most critics though it still a more accomplished design.  In the West, the 1970s were anyway a troubled and the XJ-S's notoriously thirsty 5.3 litre (326 cubic inch) V12 wasn't fashionable, especially after the second oil shock in 1979 and the factory for some months in 1981 ceased production, a stay of execution granted only when tests confirmed the re-designed cylinder head (with "swirl combustion chambers") delivered radically lower fuel consumption.  That, some attention to build quality (which would remain a work-in-progress for the rest of the model's life) and improving economies of both sides of the Atlantic meant the machine survived (indeed often flourished) for a remarkable 21 years, the last not leaving the factory until 1996.

Jaguar didn't offer full convertible coachwork until 1988 but under contract, between 1986-1988, Ohio-based coachbuilders Hess & Eisenhardt converted some 2000 coupés.  Unlike many out-sourced conversions, the Hess & Eisenhardt cars were in some ways more accomplished than the factory's own effort, the top folding completely into the body structure (al la the Mercedes-Benz R107 (1971-1989) or the Triumph Stag (1969-1977)).  However, to achieve that, the single fuel tank had to replaced by a pair, this necessitating duplicated plumbing and pumps, something which proved occasionally troublesome; there were reports of fires but whether these are an internet myth isn't clear and tale Jaguar arranged buy-backs so they might be consigned to the crusher is fake news.  The one with which Ms Lohan was photographed in Miami was manufactured by Jaguar, identifiable by the ,ore visible bulk of the soft-top's folding apparatus.

Variations on a theme: 1988 Porsche 911 (930 with 3.3 litre Flat-6) Turbo Cabriolet (left) and Hans Stuck (1900–1978) in Auto Union Type C (6.0 litre V16), Shelsley Walsh hill climb, Worcestershire, England, June 1936 (right).

The Porsche is fitted with three-piece, 15 inch BBS RS basketweave wheels with satin lips: The rear units are 11 inches in width (running 345/35 tyres) while at the front the wheels are 9 inches wide (mounted with 225/50 tyres).  Although advances in electronics have since the early 1990s made the behaviour of the most powerful rear-engined Porsches easier to tame, in 1988, the best way to ameliorate the inherent idiosyncrasies of the configuration was to fit wider wheels, increasing the rubber’s contact area with the road.  The idea was not new, both the straight-eight Mercedes-Benz W125 and the V16 Type C Auto-Union Grand Prix cars of 1937 using twin rear tyres when run in hill climbs.  The Porsche 930 (1975-1989) quickly gained the nickname “widow maker” but the Auto Union, which combined 520 horsepower and a notable rearward weight bias with tyres narrower than are these days used on delivery vans, deserved the moniker more.  Fitting the second set of rear wheels did help but the handling characteristics could never be made wholly benign and it wasn’t until the late 1950s that mid-engined Grand Prix cars became manageable and notably, they had about half the power of the German machines of the 1930s.