Eurovision

Eurovision (pronounced your-o-vish-on)

(1) The network of the European Broadcasting Union for the exchange of news and television programmes amongst its member organizations and for the relay of news and programmes from outside the network.

(2) The widely used clipping of "Eurovision Song Contest".

1950: The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) (Européenne de Radio-Télévision (UER)) was formed in February 1950 as an alliance of public service media organizations and currently has seventy-three members in fifty-six countries and thirty-four associate-members in a further twenty, not all of which are in Europe.  The EBU is now best known for producing the Eurovision Song Contest although it broadcasts a wide range of programmes.

Blatant injustice, 2003

The Eurovision Song Contest (Concours Eurovision de la chanson) has been held since 1956; the format essentially that of the Sanremo Music Festival first held in Italy in 1951 and (structurally) little changed since although the voting system has bounced around a bit.  In the early years it was a quite earnest song contest which gradually became rather naff until later in the twentieth century when, quite organically, it transformed into something of a self-aware freak-show spiced-up by amusing political squabbles.  The apparent anomaly of Australia’s participation is by virtue of (1) being a foundation associate-member of the EBU and (2) an invitation to compete, first extended in 2016 as part of the sixtieth anniversary celebrations.  The quality of Australia's entries being in keeping with the spirit of the competition (with all that implies), they've since been invited back. 

Serious students of the event (and that niche is populated not only by the usual pop culture suspects) have since 2003 thought the voting system suspect after irregularities deprived t.AT.u. (the Russian lesbian schoolgirls, Lena Katina, (b 1984) and Julia Volkova (b 1985)), of their deserved victory; that actually they were neither lesbians nor schoolgirls seemed hardly the point.  The scandal probably shocked Russians less than some because they'd long been aware of how elections are conducted, comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) once explaining to Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR, 1882–1945, US president 1933-1945) and Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) that the point about democracy was that "...it matters less who votes than who gets to count the votes."

All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u. (official music video, 2002).

D.A.D.I. (Lindsay Lohan and comedian Rachel Dratch (b 1966)) offer their take on on t.A.T.u. on Club Traxx (a Euro-Trash MTV-style talk show parody), Saturday Night Live (SNL) 1 May 2004.

Balkanize

Balkanize (pronounced bawl-kuh-nahyz)

(1) To divide a country, political entity or other geographical territory into small, quarrelsome, ineffectual states (can be initial upper or lower case depending on context of use).

(2) To divide groups or other constructs into contending and usually ineffectual factions (should always be initial lower case).

Circa 1920: A compound word balkan + ize.  Balkan is (1) the descriptor of the geographical Balkan Peninsula and (2) a general term of description for all or some of the countries within and beyond that geographical space.  Word is of Turkic origin, related to the Turkish balkan (wooded mountain range).  The ize suffix is from the Middle English isen (ise, ize), from the Old French iser (ize) from the Latin izāre (ize), derived from the Ancient Greek ίζειν (ízein), the ultimate root being the primitive Indo-European verbal suffix idyé.  It was cognate with other verbal suffixes, the Gothic itjan, the Old High German izzen and the Old English ettan.  It’s often used in conjunction with the suffix ation to produce the suffix forming nouns denoting the act, process, or result of doing something, or of making something, ie a noun of action (eg balkanization).  It’s from the Middle English acioun & acion, from the Old French acion & ation, derived from the Latin ātiō, an alternative form of tiō (from whence tion).  The alternative spelling is balkanise, a mostly British form.

Geopolitics: The Balkans.

Balkanize was coined to describe the turmoil on the Balkan Peninsula circa 1878-1913 when the nominally European section of the Ottoman Empire fragmented into small, warring nations.  There’s no consensus among etymologists regarding the author, most preferring, on the basis of documentary evidence, the English writer James Louis Garvin (1868-1947) while other suggests earlier Germanic sources. The geographical concept of the Balkan Peninsula dates from 1808 which conveniently aligned with the European provinces of the Ottoman Empire although the first known use of the word appears in a fourteenth century Arab map which named the Haemus Mountains and Balkan and Ottoman diplomats used the word in the 1560s.  Otto von Bismarck (1815–1898; Chancellor of the German Empire 1871-1890), Chancellor of Germany during the early decades of the Second Reich, well understood the instability of the Balkans and the threat its squabbles posed to European civilization.  While he affected a complete uninterest in the place, once saying the Balkans wasn’t worth “…the bones of one German soldier” and claimed never to bother opening the diplomatic bag from Constantinople, the troubles of the place often absorbed much of his time.  Although the quote "…the great European War would come out of some damned foolish thing in the Balkans" attributed to him may be apocryphal, he may have predicted the origins of World War I (1914-1918), many sources documenting his prophecy “…it will start in the east” although, much of what he wrote in his memoirs may be retrospective foresight.  Some though recorded their thoughts on the Balkans when memory was fresh.  While working at the UK Foreign Office in 1915, the future politician Duff Cooper (1890–1954) was dealing with the seemingly intractable disputes between Serbia and Bulgaria while managing the effects on Macedonia and Roumania (sic),  He noted in his diary: "If only all those damned little states could be persuaded to pull together."  In the hundred-odd years since, that must have been a sentiment felt by many foreign ministers.  

Geography: The Balkan Peninsula.

To geographers, the Balkans is the peninsula south of Eastern Europe, surrounded by the Adriatic, the Ionian, the Aegean and the Black Sea; to the east lies Asia Minor.  Although there's little dispute among geographers, there have been many disputes about which states should be thought of as "Balkan".  Scholars have their reasons for their particular construct of what makes a geopolitical entity characteristically "Balkan" while others have their own agenda.  At the moment, the closest to a consensus is that eleven nations constitute (politically) the Balkans: (1) Albania, (2) Bosnia and Herzegovina, (3) Bulgaria, (4) Croatia, (5) Kosovo, (6) Moldova, (7) Montenegro, (8) North Macedonia, (9) Romania, (10) Serbia & (11) Slovenia.  It’s because of the historic construct of Greece as a cradle of Western civilization that, despite the geography, it’s not considered Balkan.  A different reservation is applied to the small portion of Türkiye (formerly Turkey) that lies northwest of the Sea of Marmara; because most of the Turkish land-mass lies in Asia-Minor, it’s thought part of West Asia although historically, when it constituted the core of the Old Ottoman Empire, it wasn’t unusual for it to be spoken of as “European”, Nicholas I’s (1796–1855; Tsar of Russia 1825-1855) the memorable phrase describing Turkey as the “sick man of Europe” ever since recycled when criticizing whichever European country was most obviously in economic decline.  In one form or another, Türkiye's application for membership of the EU has languished in various in-trays since 1959 (it was then seeking associate membership of the EEC (European Economic Community)) so the moment of it being thought European may have passed; even Ankara seems to have lost hope.

Lindsay Lohan on the cover of the Croatian edition of Cosmopolitan, May 2006.  Hearst also publishes a Serbian edition.

For centuries, wars, conquest and population movements have meant cross-cutting cleavages have beset the Balkan Peninsula, the bloody break-up in 1992 of the former Yugoslavia (formed at the end of World War II (1939-1945)) the most recent major event and some Balkan states are also considered "Slavic states" as they are typically defined as Slavic-speaking communities (Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia), something which influences their relations with nations to the east.  The other regional phrase of note is “Western Balkans”, used to refer to the countries on the western edge, along the Adriatic coast (Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro, and Serbia).  The ripples of the convulsions of the last round of balkanization, triggered by the wars of 1991-1995 which followed the breakup of Yugoslavia, may have played out with the constructs of North Macedonia, Kosovo and Montenegro now formalized (although Kosovo remains a work in political progress).  Although there remains the hope the gradual integration of the Balkan states into the EU may impose a permanent peace, the history of the region does suggest it’s one of those places best managed by competing spheres of influence which can administer rolling truces punctuated by occasional, small ethnic wars to effect minor adjustments to borders.  One hopeful sign however is that whatever the antagonistic bellicosity of Balkan politicians, the countries do tend to vote for each other in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Vexillology

Vexillology (pronounced vek-suh-lol-uh-jee)

The study of and the collection of information about flags.

1957 (and in print since 1959): The construct was vexill(um) + -ology.  Vexillum (the plural vexilla) was from the Latin vēxillum (flag, banner), from the Proto-Italic wekslolom (and synchronically a diminutive form of vēlum), from the Proto-Italic wekslom, from the primitive Indo-European wegslom, from weg- (to weave, bind) and cognate with the English wick.  The Latin vexillum translated literally as “flag; banner” but in English was used to mean (1) a flag, banner, or standard, (2) in military use a formation company of troops serving under one standard, (3) the sign of the cross, (4) in botany, the upper petal of a papilionaceous flower and (5) in ornithology, the rhachis and web of a feather taken together.  The suffix -ology was formed from -o- (as an interconsonantal vowel) +‎ -logy.  The origin in English of the -logy suffix lies with loanwords from the Ancient Greek, usually via Latin and French, where the suffix (-λογία) is an integral part of the word loaned (eg astrology from astrologia) since the sixteenth century.  French picked up -logie from the Latin -logia, from the Ancient Greek -λογία (-logía).  Within Greek, the suffix is an -ία (-ía) abstract from λόγος (lógos) (account, explanation, narrative), and that a verbal noun from λέγω (légō) (I say, speak, converse, tell a story).  In English the suffix became extraordinarily productive, used notably to form names of sciences or disciplines of study, analogous to the names traditionally borrowed from the Latin (eg astrology from astrologia; geology from geologia) and by the late eighteenth century, the practice (despite the disapproval of the pedants) extended to terms with no connection to Greek or Latin such as those building on French or German bases (eg insectology (1766) after the French insectologie; terminology (1801) after the German Terminologie).  Within a few decades of the intrusion of modern languages, combinations emerged using English terms (eg undergroundology (1820); hatology (1837)).  In this evolution, the development may be though similar to the latter-day proliferation of “-isms” (fascism; feminism etc).  Vexillology, vexillologist vexillographer, vexillophilia, vexillophile & vexillolatry are nouns, vexillological & vexillologic are adjectives; the most common noun plural is vexillologists.

A vexillographer is one who designs flags, standards & banners, a vexillophile is (1) someone who collects and displays flags and (2) one who studies flags, their history and meaning.  Although there are vexillophiles, there is in medicine no recognized condition known as vexillophilia (which would be a paraphilia describing the sexualized objectification of flags (ie flag) although following the convention established in recent revisions to the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) (DSM-5 (2013) & DSM-5-TR (2022)), the correct clinical description would now be "flag partialism"; vexillophiles anyway prefer to describe themselves as "flag nerds".  Nor is there any record of there being instances of vexillophobia (a morbid fear of flags); there are those opposed to what flags represent  but that's not the same as being a vexillophobe which would be something specific about this type of bunting in general.  In political science, there is the word flagophobe (also as flagphobe), a derogatory term used usually by those on the right (and other nationalists) as a slur suggesting a want of patriotism in an opponent they’ve usually already labelled as “liberal”.  It's based on a metaphorical connection between a national flag and pride in one's country and is thus not a reference to a fear of flags in general.  To vexillize (or vexillate) can mean (1) to gather or to lead an army under a flag, (2) to organize or to lead people under a common cause or goal, (3) to make a flag (sewing, printing, digitally distributing etc), (4) to design a flag or (5) to introduce a specific depiction on a flag.

Wrapped: Vexillologist Lindsay Lohan and the stars & stripes.  The phrase “wrapping themselves self in the flag” is used of politicians who attempt to disguise their self-serving motives by presenting something as being in the national interest or being done for patriotic reasons.  The companion term is “patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel”, a observation made in 1775 by Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) of the hypocrisy of William Pitt (1708-1778 (Pitt the Elder); First Earl of Chatham & UK prime-minister 1766-1768).

Quite when the first flag was flown is not known but so simple is the concept and so minimal the technology required for fabrication that as forms of identification or communication they may have been among the earliest examples of symbolic representation.  Although the nation-state as its now understood is a relatively new creation (barely a thousand years old), prior to that there had for millennia been organized settlements with distinct identities and there is evidence from surviving works of art and drawings that something like a flag existed in the Mediterranean region as long ago as the fourth century BC and it’s possible such things were in use in China even earlier.  The familiar concept of the national flag evolved as the modern nation state emerged in Europe in the late Middle Ages and early modern period and traditionally, Denmark's Dannebrog is cited as the oldest national flag extant, having being in continuous use (though not always as the symbol of state) since the thirteenth century.

An array of Denmark's Dannebrog (usually translated as "the cloth of the Danes") on flagpoles.

The legend is that during a battle on 15 June 1219 in what is modern-day Estonia, the Danish army was on the defensive and defeat seemed imminent when suddenly, a red banner with a white cross fell from the sky.  As a result, the fortunes of war shifted, the Danish army won the battle and Denmark gained a flag.  The implication was of course the symbol was a "sign from God" and countless armies have rallied from difficult positions if soldiers can be persuaded victory can be won "with God on our side". 

Inherently, a small piece of colored glass three metres in the air can have no effect on a passing car yet the use of red, amber & green traffic lights is what makes modern road systems function as efficiently as they do.  They work because people (usually) respond as they should through the lens of semiotics, the signifier being the color of the light, the signified the instructions conveyed (green=”go”; amber=”prepare to stop or proceed with caution” & red=”stop”) and the referent the physical need to go, proceed only with caution or stop.  The power of the glass lies wholly in its symbolism and the implied consequences of ignoring its message.  Flags, mere pieces of fabric, have no inherent political or military force yet have for millennia been among the most valued and contested of symbols; men have died defending pieces of bunting which could have been replaced with a tick of a supply sergeant’s pen, simply because of the symbolism.  Because so much of the structure was fake, symbolism was integral to the appeal of Nazism (and fascism in general) and by the early summer of 1942, on a map, the military position of Nazi Germany looked impressive, its forces still maintaining a presence in North Africa, control extending to the Arctic Circle, most of Western Europe occupied from Norway to the south of France and the territorial gains from Operation Barbarossa (1941) reaching well into the Soviet Union.  However, the map substantially reflected the gains which had been made in 1941 and by mid-1942 it was clear to the German military they had under-estimated the ability of the Soviet armies to absorb losses and recover.  It was clear Germany no longer had the strength successfully to advance along the massive front created by Barbarossa and even Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) realized that, at least temporarily, more modest strategic aims would have to be pursued.

What Hitler set in train was a multi-pronged operation which would have been strategically sound had (1) the resources been available to sustain it and (2) there had not been such a gross under-estimation of the available Soviet military capacity.  Originally, the plan had been to advance on the Caucasus after the encirclement and destruction of the defending forces in the Stalingrad region and the occupation of the city itself.  This was changed, splitting the attacking force to allow the city and the Caucasus simultaneously to be conquered and the area envisaged was vast, including the eastern coast of the Black Sea, the forbidding Caucasian mountain passes and the oil fields of Grozny & Baku, far to the south.  The German generals didn’t need much more than the back of an envelope to work out it simply couldn’t be done and that rather than undertaking sound planning based on reliable intelligence, the Führer was indulging in little more than wishing & guessing.  “Wishing & guessing” was General George Marshall’s (1880–1959; US Army chief of staff 1939-1945) critique of Winston Churchill’s (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) dabblings in military matters and the comment wasn’t unjustified but the difference was that while the Allied high command was able to restrain (and if need be, veto) the prime-minister’s romantic (essentially Napoleonic) adventurism, the Wehrmacht’s generals and admirals had by 1942 long been dominated by Hitler.  The German army was however generally the most effective ground force of the war and remarkably, achieved some early tactical gains but such were the distances involved and the disparity of forces available that the offensive was not only doomed but culminated in the loss of some 230,000 troops at Stalingrad, a calamity from which the army never quite recovered and among the German people damaged the prestige of the regime to an extent no previous setback had done.

Third Reich War Flag, Mount Elbrus, August 1942.

Hitler, at least in 1942, wasn’t delusional and understood he was running a risk but his gambler’s instincts had for twenty years served him well and he still clung to the belief a strength of will could overcome many disadvantages, even on the battlefield.  Early in the war, that had worked when he was facing divided, unimaginative or weak opponents but those days were over and he was well-aware (regardless of what he told the generals) he was playing for high stakes from with a bad hand.  That he was under great pressure and wracked by uncertainty (whatever might have been his outward displays of confidence) was probably the cause of a celebrated over-reaction to what was one of the war’s more trivial incidents: the planting of the Nazi war flag on the peak of Mount Elbrus, at 5,642 m (18,510 feet) the highest point in Europe.  Hitler thought pursuits like mountain climbing and skiing absurd but, like any practical politician, he liked a good photo-opportunity and had in peacetime been pleased to be photographed with those who had raised the swastika on some mountain or other (something which dedicated Nazis had been doing since the 1920s, long before the party in 1933 plotted and swindled their way into office).  On 21 August 1942, the Third’s Reich’s war flag, along with the divisional flags of the 1st and 4th Divisions fluttered in the wind on the roof of Europe and news of the triumph was transmitted to FHQ (Führer Headquarters).

In the throes of the offensive driving towards Stalingrad and the Caucases, the alpine troops who climbed the peak to plant the flag doubtless though they were “working towards the Führer” and providing him a priceless propaganda piece.  They probably expected medals or at least thanks but Hitler was focused on his military objectives and knew he needed every available man to be devoted to his job and upon hearing two-dozen soldiers had decided to ignore their orders and instead climb a hill of no strategic value, just to climb down again, his reaction was visceral, recalled in his memoirs by Albert Speer (1905–1981; Nazi court architect 1934-1942; Nazi minister of armaments and war production 1942-1945), then at FHQ:

“I often saw Hitler furious but seldom did his anger erupt from him as it did when this report came in. For hours he raged as if his entire plan of the campaign had been ruined by this bit of sport. Days later he went on railing to all and sundry about “those crazy mountain climbers” who “belong before a court-martial.” They were pursuing their idiotic hobbies in the midst of a war, he exclaimed indignantly, occupying an idiotic peak even though he had commanded that all efforts must be concentrated upon Sukhumi.”

The famous (and subtlety edited) photograph of the Soviet flag being raised over the Reichstag on 30 April 1945 during the Battle of Berlin (actually a staged-shot  taken on 2 May).

The Germans never made it to Sukhumi and the high-altitude sideshow by a handful of troops of course in no way affected the campaign but the reaction at FHQ was an indication of the pressure felt by Hitler.  The planting of a symbolic flag was also though symptomatic of the arrogance which had permeated the German military under the Nazis and it anyway proved a pyrrhic act of conquest, the standard torn down and replaced by the Soviet flag within six months; that the Russian army took the trouble to do that amid the clatter of war illustrates potency of national flags as propaganda devices.  One of the most famous photographs of the conflict was that of the Soviet flag in May 1945 being placed over the Reichstag in Berlin, a symbol of defeat of Nazism.  Interestingly, so important to the Kremlin was the image that the act was actually re-staged the next day, this time with a photographer in place to shoot a roll of film so the perfect shot could be selected and the Russians are not the only ones to have re-staged famous flag raisings.

A banner used in Croatia between 925-1102 (left), the current Croatian flag adopted after independence in 1990 (centre) and the Croatian naval ensign (1990).

One of the most ancient symbols to endure in modern nation flags is the red & white checkered pattern used to this day on the flag of Croatia.  The oldest known example dates from 925 and the pattern was used (with the odd interruption) for centuries, even when the country was a non-sovereign component of supranational states such as the Habsburg Empire.  A red star was used instead when Croatia was a part of comrade Marshall Tito’s (1892-1980) Jugoslavija (Yugoslavia) between 1945-1990 but the red & white checks were restored when independence was regained in 1990.

Applied vexillologist Ivana Knoll at the FIFA World Cup in Qatar.

Noted Instagram influencer Ivana Knoll (b 1992) was a finalist in the Miss Croatia beauty contest in 2016 and for her appearances at the 2022 FIFA World Cup in Qatar, chose a number of outfits using the national symbol of the red and white checkerboard (matching the home strip worn by the team), taken from the Croatian national flag.  By the standards of Instagram, the design of the hoodie she donned for Croatia's game against Morocco at the Al-Bayat stadium wasn't particularly revealing but it certainly caught the eye.  As if Gianni Infantino (b 1970; president of FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association (International Federation of Association Football) since 2016) doesn't have enough to ponder, the former Miss Croatia finalist tagged FIFA in her posts, fearing perhaps the president may not be among her 600,000 Instagram followers and her strategy seems to have had the desired effect although whether the design which, does cover her hair, shoulders and legs really was sufficiently demur to satisfy the local rules may have been contested by some imams.  The guidance provided by FIFA indicated non-Qatari women don’t need to wear the abaya (the long, black robe), tops must cover their midriff and shoulders, and skirts, dresses or trousers must cover the knees and clothing should not be tight or reveal any cleavage.  In accordance with the rules or not, Ms Knoll proved a popular accessory for Qatari men seeking selfies.

Four Citroën GS “Drapeaux” on the 400 metre athletics track at the Olympic Stadium, Munich, FRG (Bundesrepublik Deutschland (Federal Republic of Germany; the old West Germany) 1949-1990) for the 1971 “The Car Without Borders” press event.

National flags sometimes appear on cars and while that’s done usually with badges, the bunting represented either in the singular (including the Triumph TR6 (1968-1976)) or in multiples for that “international flavour” (such as Cutlass Ciera emblem used by Oldsmobile between the mid-1970s and mid-1990s), in 1971 Citroën used the whole car as a harlequinesque canvas.  Based on mechanically standard GS hatchback and station wagon (Break) models, the flags which adorned the bodywork were those of the twelve nations which participated in voting for the 1971 (ECotY) European Car of the Year, won by the GS.  As well as the four created for the event in Munich, a number of replica GS Drapeaux were built (it’s not clear how many but it may have been as many as 24) for a continent-wide promotional tour, co-ordinated with Citroën dealers.  The voting for the 1971 ECotY was undertaken by a jury of 44 journalists and while not exactly a kind of “automotive Eurovision”, when the numbers were tallied the GS had received a majority in Czechoslovakia, Denmark, the FRG, the Netherlands and the UK, enough to take the title.  The French drapeaux was the plural of drapeau (flag), from the Old French drapel.  In the French dialectical form spoken in Louisiana, a drapeau was a diaper (nappy).

1971 Citroën GS 1220 Club Break in “Drapeaux” trim.

That the ECotY’s jury is made up of specialist automotive journalists has always tended to slant things towards the technically interesting which accounts for winners or place-getters including the NSU Ro80 (1967-1977 and the Wankel-engined winner in 1968 which effectively bankrupted its maker), the Jensen FF (1966-1974 and the first production road car with ABS & AWD (all-wheel-drive and then still called 4WD (four-wheel-drive)) and third in 1967) and the Oldsmobile Toronado (1965-1978 in its original configuration and third in (1966 despite using a 425 cubic inch (7.0 litre) V8 with FWD! (front-wheel-drive) and being as unsuited to the European market as just about anything ever made)).  The ECotY award winners haven’t always been a success in the market but did reflect the sort of machines which appealed to the particular profile of automotive journalists, a breed quite different from those who actually buy new cars.  Nor were the winners necessarily the “best” (admittedly a difficult quality to define), illustrated by the 1990 award when the outstanding Mercedes-Benz R129 (1988-2001) was runner up to the dreary Citroën XM (1989-2000).  By historic standards the GS (1970-1986) was a pretty good choice because not was it only an inspired design but also one which proved a success over a long period, unlike the runner up Volkswagen K70 (1970-1974) and third-placed Citroën SM (1970-1975).  The K70 had actually been inherited by VW when the moribund NSU was absorbed but the many troubles of the SM contributed to Citroën’s bankruptcy though probably not to the same extent as the GS Birotor (1973-1975 and known also as the CX) which used a Wankel engine. 

Flag of Mozambique (left) and flag of the Hezbollah (right).

The flag of the Hezbollah (right), the public display of which is banned in some jurisdictions where both the organization's political & military wings are listed as "terrorist organizations" includes a depiction of  Kalashnikov AK-47 assault rifle but that of Mozambique (left) is the only national flag to feature the famous weapon and the Africans fixed a bayonet to the barrel which was a nice touch.  Mozambique gained independence from Portugal in 1975 although the flag wasn’t officially adopted until 1983 as a modified version of what was essentially the battle flag of the Frente de Libertação de Moçambique (FRELIMO, the Mozambique Liberation Front, the Marxist (later styled “democratic socialist”) resistance movement which fought a war of liberation (1964-1974) against the Portuguese colonial forces).  Artistically, just as Marxism (notably often in Stalinist form) had been politically influential in post-colonial Africa, the hammer & sickle exerted an artistic appeal.  The flag of Mozambique has an AK-47 crossed by a hoe sitting atop an open book and is the only national flag upon which appears a modern firearm, the handful of others with guns all using historic relics like muskets or muzzle-loaded cannons.  The Angolan flag has a machete crossing a half gear wheel and both these African examples follow the symbolic model of the hammer and sickle, representing variously the armed struggle against repression, the industrial workers and the peasantry.

Hot Dog

Hot dog (pronounced hot-dawg)

(1) A frankfurter.

(2) A sandwich consisting of a frankfurter (or some sort of sausage of similar shape) in a split roll, eaten usually with (1) mustard, sauerkraut & relish or (2) mustard & ketchup.

(3) Someone who performs complex, showy, and sometimes dangerous manoeuvres, especially in surfing or skiing (hotdogging sometimes a defined class in competition).

(4) Someone thought a show-off, especially in sporting competition.

(5) In informal use, an expression of joy, admiration or delight (occasionally also used ironically in the manner of “that’s great”).

(6) In New Zealand, a battered, deep-fried sausage or saveloy on a stick (essentially the same concept as the US corn dog and the Australian Dagwood dog).

(7) In slang, the human penis, a variation of which is the “man sausage”.

(8) In slang, a sexually suggestive physical gesture involving hip movement (usually as hotdogging).

1894: A coining in US English for commercial purposes, the idea being the vague resemblance of the sausage to a dachshund dog, the “hot” from the traditional use of mustard as a condiment although there’s evidence the early suspicion some hot dogs included actual canine meat weren’t entirely without foundation.  The use as (1) an interjection expressing joy, admiration or delight was another US creation dating from around the turn of the twentieth century (the circumstances unknown) and (2) a descriptor of someone who performs showy, often dangerous stunts was also an Americanism from the same era.  It seems to have begin in sport and is still widely used but has become best known for its use in skiing and surfing where it’s institutionalized to the extent some competitive categories have been named thus.  The variation “hot diggety dog” (also clipped to “hot diggety” was used in the same sense as the interjection “hot dog”, the interpolated “diggety” there for emphasis and rhetorical effect.  The slang synonyms (mostly in the US and not applied exclusively to hot dogs) have included “tubular meat on a bun”, “frank”, “frankfurt”, “frankfurter”, “glizzy”, “pimp steak”, “tube steak”, “wiener”, “weeny”, “ballpark frank”, “cheese coney”, “cheese dog”, “Chicago-style”, “Chicago dog”, “chili dog”, “Coney Island”, “corndog”, “footlong”, “junkyard dog”, “not dog”, “pig in a blanket”, “steamie” “veggie dog” & “frankfurter in a bun”.  In informal use, both single word contractions (hotdog) and hyphenated forms (hot-dog, hot-dogger etc) are common and “hot dog!” as an interjection is heard in the US, especially south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Extra mustard: Lindsay Lohan (during "brunette phase") garnishing her hot dog, New York, 2010.

The construct was hot + dog.  Hot was from the Middle English hot & hat, from the Old English hāt, from the Proto-Germanic haitaz (hot), from the primitive Indo-European kay- (hot; to heat) and was cognate with the Scots hate & hait (hot), the North Frisian hiet (hot), the Saterland Frisian heet (hot), the West Frisian hjit (hot), the Dutch heet (hot), the Low German het (hot), the German Low German heet (hot), the German heiß (hot), the Danish hed (hot), the Swedish het (hot) and the Icelandic heitur (hot).  Dog was from the Middle English dogge (source also of the Scots dug (dog)), from the Old English dogga & docga of uncertain origin.  Interestingly, the original sense appears to have been of a “common dog” (as opposed one well-bred), much as “cur” was later used and there’s evidence it was applied especially to stocky dogs of an unpleasing appearance.  Etymologists have pondered the origin:  It may have been a pet-form diminutive with the suffix -ga (the similar models being compare frocga (frog) & picga (pig), appended to a base dog-, or doc-(the origin and meaning of these unclear). Another possibility is Old English dox (dark, swarthy) (a la frocga from frog) while some have suggested a link to the Proto-West Germanic dugan (to be suitable), the origin of Old English dugan (to be good, worthy, useful), the English dow and the German taugen; the theory is based on the idea that it could have been a child’s epithet for dogs, used in the sense of “a good or helpful animal”.  Few support that and more are persuaded there may be some relationship with docce (stock, muscle), from the Proto-West Germanic dokkā (round mass, ball, muscle, doll), from which English gained dock (stumpy tail).  In fourteenth century England, hound (from the Old English hund) was the general word applied to all domestic canines while dog referred to some sub-types (typically those close in appearance to the modern mastiff and bulldog.  By the sixteenth century, dog had displaced hound as the general word descriptor. The latter coming to be restricted to breeds used for hunting and in the same era, the word dog was adopted by several continental European languages as their word for mastiff.  Unmodified, the English Hot Dog has been borrowed by dozens of languages.  Hot dog is a noun, verb & adjective, hotdoggery & hotdogger are nouns, hotdogging & hotdogged are verbs; the noun plural is hot dogs.

For the 2016 Texas State Fair, the manufacturer went retro, reviving the "Corny Dog" name although, in a sign of the times, vegetarian dogs were available.

The corn-dog (a frankfurter dipped in cornmeal batter, fried, and served on a stick), although the process was patented in 1927, seems to have come into existence between 1938-1942 (the sources differ with most preferring the latter) but it received a lexicographical imprimatur of when it began to appear in dictionaries in 1949 and it was certainly on sale (then as the “corny dog”) at the 1942 Texas State Fair.  In Australia, the local variation of the US corn dog is the Dagwood dog (a batter-covered hot dog sausage, deep fried in batter, dipped in tomato sauce and eaten off a wooden stick), not to be confused with the “battered sav”, a saveloy deep fried in a wheat flour-based batter (as used for fish and chips and which usually doesn’t contain cornmeal).  The Dagwood Dog was named after a character in the American comic strip Blondie.  Dagwood, Blondie’s ineptly comical husband, did have a dog albeit not one especially sausage-like and it may simply have been it was at the time the country’s best known or most popular cartoon dog.

The hot dog as class-identifier: David Cameron showing how the smart set handle a hot dog while on the campaign trail, April 2015.

After leaving Downing Street, Harold Macmillan (1894–1986; UK prime-minister 1957-1963) visited Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; US president 1969-1969) in the White House and was served lunch, a meal the former prime-minister found so remarkable that in his six-volume memoirs it warranted a rare exclamation mark: "Hotdogs!"  He didn’t comment further but it’s assumed his experience of the culinary treat must have been the Old Etonian’s first and last.  The hot dog certainly can be political, David Cameron (b 1966; UK prime-minister 2010-2016 and another Old Etonian) attracting derision after being photographed eating his hot dog with knife and fork, something declared “out-of-touch” by the tabloid press which, while usually decrying the class system, doesn’t miss a chance to scorn toffs behaving too well or chavs too badly.  Cameron had other problems with takeaway snacks, caught being untruthful about his history of enjoying Cornish pasties, another working class favourite.  So it would seem for politicians, hot dogs are compulsory but only if eaten in acceptable chav style.

Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017) and David Cameron eating hot dogs (both in chav-approved manner) at a college basketball game between Mississippi Valley State and Western Kentucky, Dayton Arena, Ohio, March 2012 (Western Kentucky won 59-56) (left) and UK Labour Party politician Ed Miliband (b 1969) enjoying what came to be known as "the notorious bacon sandwich moment", May 2014 (right).  Mr Miliband didn't attend Eton and some of his high school education was undertaken in the US so presumably he knows how to handle a hot dog.  If so, he has no excuse because a toastie is less challenging.  Mr Miliband's father was the sociologist Dr Ralph Miliband (1924–1994) who was among the most famous examples of that rare species, the “celebrity academic Marxist”.  People must make of that what they will when deciding whether, or to what extent, that might account for how his son came to handle a BCT (bacon & cheese toastie). 

Curiously, Mr Cameron, had some three years earlier undergone "hot dog eating training", supervised by President Obama, noted for his expertise (both theoretical and practical) in the subject.  So he knew how it should be done and immediately there was speculation he resorted to knife & fork to avoid any chance of something like Ed Miliband's "notorious bacon sandwich moment", something which had resulted in ridicule and a flood of memes after the photograph was published in Rupert Murdoch's (b 1931) tabloid The Sun on the eve of the 2015 general election.

Peter Dutton (b 1970; leader of the Liberal Party of Australia 2022-2025) enjoying a Dagwood Dog (in approved bogan manner), Brisbane Exhibition (Ekka), Australia, 2022 (left) and Lena Katina (b 1984) sucking on a popsicle (band-mate Julia Volkova (b 1985) looking sceptical) in a publicity shot for t.A.T.u., Moscow, 2002 (right).

On seeing the photo, Mr Dutton observed of such things: "There is no good angle" and one can see his point but he need not be apologetic about his technique because, as Ms Katina demonstrated, his method was immaculate.  Looking damnably like a neon-green hotdog, the shapes of the two snacks essentially are identical so they're eaten in a similar manner.  In Australia, it’s probably good for a politician to be known to eat Dagwood dogs but not necessarily be photographed mid-munch.  Interestingly, despite many opportunities, Mr Dutton has never denied being a Freemason.  Promoted as a pair of lesbian schoolgirls, t.A.T.u. (1999-2011) was a Russian pop cum electronica act, best remembered for being denied their deserved victory in the 2003 Eurovision Song Contest because of obvious irregularities in the voting; that the duo were neither lesbians nor schoolgirls was not the point.  Music critics and political scientists all agree Mr Putin (Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin; b 1952; president or prime minister of Russia since 1999) was probably a (secret) fan and it may be even comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) might have enjoyed the tunes; he liked music he could whistle and t.A.T.u.'s melodic qualities would have appealed.  On the basis of their political views, comrade Stalin might (while whistling along) have sent them to the Lubyanka (the old KGB headquarters on Moscow's Lubyanka Square) or the Gulag but never would he have accused them of formalism.  

Instinctively, Jacqui Lambie (b 1971, senator for Tasmania, 2014-2017 and since 2019) can sense the populist potential in an image and in 2019 posted an appropriately captioned one of her enjoying a Dagwood Dog at the Autumn Festival in Tasmania’s Derwent Valley.  Historically, in Tasmania, these were sold as “Pluto Pups” but “Dagwood Dog” is now commonly used.  As this illustrates, Mr Dutton's technique was correct so it's good Senator Lambie and Mr Dutton can agree on something.

The Dagwood dog was responsible for an amusing footnote in Australian legal history, a dispute from the 1949 Sydney Royal Easter Show played out in the Supreme Court of New South Wales in its equity jurisdiction, the press reports at the time noting one happy outcome being an “uninterrupted supply of hot dogs during the next few days.”  Hot dogs were one of the show’s big sellers but a dispute arose when allegations were made there had been breaches of letters patent for "improvements in sausage goods" giving the patentees (who sold “Pronto Pups”) "exclusive enjoyment and profit within Australia for sixteen years from September, 1946.  The plaintiffs (holders of the patent), sought an injunction against those who had begun selling “Dagwood Dogs" at the show, preventing them from vending or supplying any of the improvements in sausages described in the patent, the writ claiming Dagwood dogs embodied the patented improvements and that as a consequence of the infringement, the plaintiffs were suffering economic loss.  The trial judge, ordered a hearing for an assessment (a taking of accounts) of damages to be scheduled for the following April and issued a temporary order requiring the defendants undertook to pay into a trust account the sum of ½d (half a penny) for each for each axially penetrated sausage sold.  The culinary delight has since been a fixture at city and country shows around the country although the name Pronto Pup didn’t survive; after the judgment in the Supreme Court it was replaced by “Pluto Pup” which also didn’t last although whether that was a consequence of a C&D (“cease & desist letter”) from Walt Disney’s lawyers isn’t known.  Anyway, since then it’s (mostly) been Dagwood dogs all the way except in South Australia (proud of their convict-free past, they often do things differently) where they’re knows as “Dippy Dogs” (an allusion to the generous dip in the tomato sauce pot) which may be of Canadian origin, although there, in at least some provinces, they’re sold as “Pogos”.

Robert Mitchum (1917–1997) paying attention to what Marilyn Monroe (1926–1962) is saying.

There are a number of “hot dog” stories about the film star Robert Mitchum, all told in the vein of him arriving at a Hollywood fancy-dress party covered in tomato ketchup and when asked to explain replying: “I’m a hot dawg!”.  That was representative of the sanitized form in which the tale was usually published, the original apparently involved the ketchup being applied to something which, anatomically, more resembled the hot dog’s sausage.

Zimbabwe's T20 cricket team, winners of the inaugural Women's T20 cricket tournament at the 13^th African Games, Accra, Ghana, March 2024.

Hotdog Stand color scheme, Microsoft Windows 3.1, 1992.

The industry legend is the “Hotdog Stand” color scheme Microsoft in 1992 shipped with Windows 3.1 was the winner of an informal contest between the designers to see who could concoct the worst possible combination.  Whether or not the competition was alcohol-fueled depends on which version of the story is told but all agree the winner based her entry on a vision of a hot dog, smothered in mustard and ketchup.  It’s doubtful many deliberately chose “Hotdog Stand” as their default scheme although there were certainly sysadmins (system administrators) who vengefully would impose it on annoying users, the more vindictive adding insult to injury by ensuring the user couldn’t change it back.  However, Hotdog Stand did briefly find a niche because it turned out to be the scheme which provided the best contrast on certain monochrome monitors, then still prevalent in corporations.  Windows 3.1 was the first version of the environment (it ran on the PC/MS/DR-DOS operating system) to attain wide corporate acceptance, whereas Windows 3.0 (1990) had tantalized while being still too unstable.  Windows 3.0 was unusual in being (apart from the short-lived 1.0) the only version of Windows released in a single version.  Although it ran in three modes: Real (on machines with only 640K RAM), Standard (requiring an 80286 CPU & 1 MB RAM) and Enhanced (requiring an 80386 CPU & 2 MB RAM), it shipped as a single product, the user with a command line switch (/r, /s or /e respectively) able to "force" the mode of choice, depending on the hardware in use.  Real mode didn't make it into Windows 3.1 and v3.11 ran exclusively as "Enhanced" so, in a sense, "Enhanced" had become standard.

A MCC member at Lords (left), wearing MCC blazer and tie and the Dege-Skinner’s MCC tie page (right). The merchandize is available from the club's official Savile Row tailor and proof of MCC membership is required for purchase.  According to the fashionistas, the trick with wearing stripes is that only the most admirably slender should don horizontal stripes while all others should stick to vertical because it's "slimming".

Founded in 1787, the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) has since 1814 been based at Lord's Cricket Ground in St John's Wood, London.  The MCC owns Lord's and between 1787-1989, it was the world’s governing body of cricket, the role now discharged by the International Cricket Council (ICC), the successor body of the old Imperial Cricket Conference (1909-1963) although the MCC cast a long shadow, holding to this day the copyright to the game’s many rules.  The MCC’s distinctive colors have since the 1860s been red & yellow (replacing a more subtle sky blue), a combination known around the world as the “bacon & egg” and while caps and blazers are available, ties are the biggest seller.  Surprisingly for such a distinctive look, the origin remains a mystery and the two most popular theories are (1) they were the (horse) racing colors of the Duke of Richmond who was a prominent club member in its early days, (2) the combo was “borrowed” from the “wandering” club I Zingari which, founded in 1845, shared many members with the MCC and (3) they were adopted as a tribute to William Nicholson who contributed to the funds needed to purchasing the freehold of Lord’s Ground.  Mr Nicholson was an MCC Member and the owner of the Nicholson’s Gin Company, the colours of which were red and yellow so it was an early example of a type of corporate sponsorship, something now routine but then novel.  Established in 1736, the Nicholson brand was retired during the 1980s but revived by the family in 2016.  Historians of the game favour the Nicholson connection as the source of the MCC’s colors.

2016 Maserati GranTurismo MC. 

Microsoft's Hotdog Stand scheme didn’t survive the August 1995 transition to Windows 95 but a quarter of a century on, someone may have felt nostalgic because a buyer of a 2016 Maserati GranTurismo MC configured their car in bright yellow (Giallo Granturismo) over leather trim in red (Rosso Corallo).  As eye-catching in 2016 as Microsoft's Hotdog Stand had been in 1992, the Maserati’s recommended retail price was US$163,520.  Displayed first at the 2007 Geneva Motor Show, the GranTurismo (Tipo M145) remained in production until 2019, the MC Sport Line offered between 2012-2019; it's not known how many buyers chose this color combination.  The OEM (Original Equipment Manufacturer) wheels were all-black but on this MC were replaced with two-tone 21 & 22 inch Forgiato S201 ECL units in black and yellow on which were mounted Pirelli P Zero tyres (255/30-21 front & 315/25-22 rear).  Finishing the wheels in red and yellow might nicely have augmented the hot dog vibe but between the spokes Maserati's red brake calipers can be seen.  For the right buyer, this was the perfect package.

Juan Manuel Fangio, Maserati 250F, German Grand Prix, Nürburgring, August, 1957.

It’s drawing a long bow but the vivid combo may have be picked as a tribute to the Maserati 250F with which Juan Manuel Fangio (1911–1995) won the 1957 German Grand Prix at the Nürburgring, an epic drive and his most famous.  Fangio was Scuderia Alfieri Maserati’s team leader and a splash of yellow was added to the nosecone of his 250F so easily it could be identified, the color chosen because it was one of the two allocated to his native Argentina.  The 250Fs of the other team members also had nosecones painted in accordance with the original international auto racing colours standardized early in the century, American Harry Schell (1921–1960) in white and Frenchman Jean Behra (1921–1959), blue, all atop the factory’s traditional Italian red.

2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak in Go Mango with satin black accents over black Laguna leather and Alcantara upholstery.  Because of the design of the front splitter, this model was supplied ex-factory with the one-piece yellow "underwire". 

Unexpectedly, during the 2010s, "underwire" entered the lexicon of automotive slang when it was used to describe a plastic part fitted temporarily as a protective piece.  The yellow plastic fitting (pictured above on the leading edge of the Challenger's splitter) was called a "splitter guard" which was unimaginative but the factory didn't envisage them as consumer items and the term was merely explanatory for the information of those preparing cars for sale.  Installed to prevent damage during shipping, it was part of dealer preparation instructions to remove the pieces but leaving them attached became a cult and some cars were even retro-fitted.  An element in that was the "end of an era" vibe and large number of the vehicles in Dodge's "Last Call" runs (of which there were many) were purchased as investments to be stored away for the day when V8s are no longer produced and collectors will be anxious to pay much for the way things used to be done.  How well that will work out remains to be seen but with the "Last Call" runs typically in batches of more than 3000, most of them weren't, in collectable terms, especially rare.  

Dealers cautioned against the trend, noting the pieces weren't specifically molded to ensure a perfect fit so dirt and moisture were prone to being trapped in the gaps and this could scuff the paint.  They were known also as "damage guards" and "scuff guards" but more imaginative souls dubbed them the "underwire" while serious students of such things suggested a better simile might have been "pastie", while acknowledging Chrysler followed the lead of the underwear manufacturers in having available both single and two-piece "underwires" although this was coincidental and deterministic, dictated by the splitter design.  Women have been known to remove from bras especially intrusive underwires (a "comfort thing") but whether on splitters they were kept or discarded might have seemed an improbable subject for dispute but with cars, men always find a reason to argue about something.  Although probably it would have preferred to discuss horsepower, superchargers and such, Chrysler noted the cultural phenomenon and, while obviously reluctant to upset either faction, did issue a statement to a magazine which had requested comment:

"The splitter guards on Dodge Charger and Challenger have taken on a life of their own. They originally made their debut in the 2015 model year to protect the performance fascias on SRT models during shipment from the manufacturing facility to the dealer, and, yes, they are designed to be removed before delivery.  But today, they have their own Facebook page, and many of our performance enthusiasts have active debates on whether to keep or remove them. Some owners say they are even selling them in the aftermarket.  Obviously, they weren't part of the original design, so we started with yellow guards and shifted to pink, but they are still so popular that we may shift them yet again to black. Wherever we land, this is another example of how our customers are passionate about every part of their Dodge muscle cars."

BMW's venture into the "hotdog look", the K1.

Between 1988–1993, BMW produced almost 7,000 K1s.  It was a modest volume and lifespan but the appearance and specification were quite a departure for the company which for sixty-odd years had built its reputation with air-cooled flat twins, packaged in designs which while functionally efficient offered few concessions to fashion.  That began to change in 1973 when the R90S appeared with a small bikini fairing in the style then favored by the “café racer” set but the rest of the machine remained in the sober Teutonic tradition, finished in a conservative silver (a more exuberant “Daytona Orange” would later be offered).  The fairings grew in size in subsequent models but never before the K1 did the factory produce anything so enveloping as was first seen at the 1988 Cologne Show, the effect heighted by the bold graphics and the choice of color schemes being blue & yellow or a hotdog-like red & yellow.  Inevitably, the latter's eye-catching combo picked up the nickname Ketchup und Senf (Ketchup and Mustard) but on BMW’s color chart they were listed as Marakeschrot (Marrakesh Red, code 222) and Ginstergelb (Broom Yellow, code 230).  The “broom” referenced is the shrub plant (related and visually similar to gorse) with distinctive, bright yellow flowers, not the device used for sweeping.  The look attracted almost as much comment as the mechanical specification which used an in-line four cylinder, 987 cm³ (60 cubic inch) liquid-cooled engine, mounted in an unusual longitudinal arrangement with the crankshaft to the right, something which delivered a low centre of gravity and contributed to the drag coefficient (CD) of .34 (with rider prone).

The original alternative to the hotdog, in blue & yellow, restrained by comparison.

The engineering was innovative and the K1 garnered many awards but after some initial enthusiasm sales waned and in 1991 the color scheme was not so much toned-down as re-toned, a more Germanic look (black metallic with silver wheels) offered which was less distinctive but also less controversial.  That solved one aesthetic challenge but others were more fundamental, the thing too big and heavy to be a “sports bike” in the accepted sense and all that fibreglass meant it could get very hot for both components and rider, a problem the factory, with some improvised engineering, ameliorated but never wholly solved.  What couldn’t be fixed was the lack of power, BMW at the time committed to the voluntary 100 HP (75 kW) limit for motorcycles sold in Germany and while the industry leading aerodynamics made the machine a creditable high-speed cruiser, as a “super-bike” in the manner of the Japanese and Italian machines, it simply wasn’t competitive; fifty years on, at least on two wheels, power dynamics within the Axis had shifted south and east.

Chart of the standard semaphore alphabet (top left), a pair of semaphore flags (bottom left) and Lindsay Lohan practicing her semaphore signaling (just in case the need arises and this is the letter “U”), 32^nd birthday party, Mykonos, Greece, July, 2018 (right).

Semaphore flags are not always red and yellow, but the colors are close to a universal standard, especially in naval and international signalling.  There was no intrinsic meaning denoted by the use of red 7 yellow, the hues chosen for their contrast and visual clarity, something important in maritime environments or other outdoor locations when light could often be less than ideal although importantly, the contrast was sustained even in bright sunshine.  Because semaphore often was used for ship-to-to ship signalling, the colors had to be not only easily distinguishable at a distance but not be subject to “melting” or “blending”, a critical factor when used on moving vessels in often pitching conditions, the operator’s moving arms adding to the difficulties.  In naval and maritime semaphore systems, the ICS (International Code of Signals) standardized full-solid red and yellow for the flags but variants do exist (red, white, blue & black seem popular) and these can be created for specific conditions, for a particular cultural context or even as promotional items.

L-I-N-D-S-A-Y-space-L-O-H-A-N spelled-out in ICS (International Code of Signals) semaphore.  One cannot predict when this knowledge will come in handy.

Green & yellow alternatives: Saint Patrick's Day hot dog (left) and vegan hotdog (right). 

Although the ketchup and mustard combination is most associated with the hot dog, not all hot dogs are in a theme of red & yellow, the most common alternative formations being green & yellow.  Some of these are seasonal and created for the cultural & religious holiday celebrated as Lá Fhéile Pádraig (literally “the Day of the Festival of Patrick” and often described as the “Feast of Saint Patrick”) which marks the death of Saint Patrick (circa 385–circa 461), the foremost patron saint of Ireland and missionary who converted the Island from paganism to Christianity.  Others are usually vegetarian or vegan hot dogs and green components, while not essential, often are added as a form of virtue-signaling. 

1981 Chevrolet Corvette: 190 horsepower (HP). 

The 2016 Maserati GranTurismo was certainly distinctive but strange color-combos are sometimes seen although in recent decades, factories have restricted not only the ranges offered but also the way they can be combined.  The 1981 Chevrolet Corvette (above) definitely didn’t leave the assembly line in yellow & green; that season, yellow (code 52) was available but there was no green on the color chart and while two-tone paint was a US$399.00 option, the only choices were Silver/Dark Blue (code 33/38); Silver/Charcoal (code 33/39); Beige/Dark Bronze (code 50/74) & Autumn Red/Dark Claret (code 80/98).  After taking in the effect of the yellow/green combo, the camel leather trim (code 64C/642) seems anti-climatic.

2025 John Deere 9900 Self-Propelled Forage Harvester: 956 HP.

Modern harvesters are machines of extraordinary efficiency, one able in an hour to reap more than what would once have taken a large team of workers more than a day.  Mechanized harvesters were an early example of the way technology displaces labor at scale and because historically women were always a significant part of the harvesting workforce, they were at least as affected as men.  The development meant one machine operator and his (and they were almost exclusively men) machine could replace even dozens of workers, something which profoundly changed rural economies, the participation of the workforce engaged in agriculture and triggered the re-distribution of the population to urban settlements.  Artificial intelligence (AI) is the latest innovation in technology applied to agriculture as just a one operator + machine combo replaced dozens of workers, multiple machines now go about harvesting with an AI bot handling the control and a dozen or more of these machines can be under the supervision of a single individual sitting somewhere on the planet, not so much controlling the things and monitoring for errors and problems.  Removing the on-site human involvement means it becomes possible to harvest (or otherwise work the fields) 24/7/365 without concerns about intrusions like light, the weather or toilet breaks.  Of course people remain involved to do tasks such as repairs, refueling and such but AI taking over many of these roles may be only a matter of time.

1936 John Deere Model B Row Crop Tractor (“Unstyled”).

The concept known to motorcyclists as the “naked” (a bike without fairings so the engine, frame and exhaust system are exposed) existed also in agricultural machinery, all of which presumably began in a “naked” form with protective housings added later.  As such equipment became big business in commerce, decorative embellishments would have been the last appendages to appear.  Until the 1939 model-cycle, John Deere’s (JD) row crop tractors were “naked” in execution with the steering post, radiator and most of the engine exposed, the wheels often with spokes running from hub to rim.  However, in 1938, JD hired the industrial designer Henry Dreyfuss (1904-1972) and he created the shapes of the sheet metal which was added to cover many of the exposed areas, including the radiator, the new grill unmistakably from the art deco era and perhaps influenced by the memorable “coffin-nosed” Cords (810-812, 1936-1937).  Mr Dreyfuss’s distinctive radiator cowling was for generations a signature element of many of JD’s Tractors.

1956 John Deere Model 60 Row Crop Tractor (“Styled”).

At the time, such ventures were thought “styling” rather than “designing” so the new JD ranges came to be dubbed the “Styled” and the predecessors retrospective this became the “Unstyled” and also a marker of the new was the use of solid steel wheels to replace the spoke units.  Although heavier and using more steel, the solid wheels were cheaper to produce because they eliminated the use of much labor.  JD’s switch to “Styled” versions was phased in over several years with the models “D” & “G” being the last to appear in the original “naked” configuration.  JD and Mr Dreyfuss put effort and capital into the “Styled” project and as the company’s product line for decades indicated, they were well-pleased with the result and no doubt would not have predicted that early in the twenty-first century, with vintage tractors a collectable item (and definitely there are identifiable cults among the calling), there would be those who would take a 1942  “Styled” JD and lovingly transform it into an “Unstyled”.

Trimline phone in white, available also in designer colors.  Western Electric's original Trimline was available in 36 finishes (33 shades plus faux teak or walnut and the obviously daring “Transparent”) including JD’s signature green & yellow.

Although his name remains well-known in the field, Henry Dreyfuss is somewhat neglected in the public imagination although his breadth was remarkable, encompassing both industrial and consumer products ranging from vacuum cleaners, typewriters and alarm clocks to heavy locomotives, tractors and office buildings.  His most enduring contribution to daily American life was his involvement in the design of telephone handsets, his models for Western Electric serving as standard household and office fixtures between the 1940s and 1990s while the wall-mountable Trimline (1965) and twelve-digit touch-phone (1968) to this day remain available as retro items.

Cheerleaders of the Oregon Ducks, the college football team of the University of Oregon.

Maybe the Corvette's repaint was ordered by a fan of John Deere’s highly regarded farm equipment because JD’s agricultural products are always finished in a two-tone yellow/green (their construction equipment being black & yellow).  For the 1981 Corvette, a single engine was offered in all 50 states, a 350 cubic inch (5.7 litre) small-block V8 designated L81 which was rated at the same 190 HP (142 kW) as the previous season’s base L48; no high-output version was now available but the L81 could be had with either a manual or automatic transmission (it would prove to be the last C3 Corvette offered with a manual).  Glumly though that drive-train might have been viewed by some who remembered the tyre-smoking machines of a decade-odd earlier, it would have pleased buyers in California because in 1980 their Corvettes received only the 305 cubic inch (5.0 litre) V8 found often in pick-up trucks, station wagons and other utilitarian devices; to them the L81 was an improvement and one which seemed to deliver more than the nominal 10 HP gain would have suggested.  The L81’s 190 HP certainly wouldn’t impress those in the market for John Deere’s 9900 Self-Propelled Forage Harvester, powered by a 1465 cubic inch (24 litre) Liebherr V12, rated at 956 HP (713 kW), the machine available only in the corporate two-tone yellow & green.  Like Corvettes (which have tended to be quite good at their intended purpose and pretty bad at just about everything else), harvesters are specific purpose machines; one which is a model of efficiency at gathering one crop will be hopelessly inept with another and in that they differ from the human workforce which is more adaptable.  However, where there is some similarity in the plants, it can be possible for the one basic machine to be multi-purpose, the role changed by swapping the attachable device which does the actual picking or gathering.

1955 Studebaker Speedster (of the 2,215 Speedsters, a solid 763 were finished in the eye-catching combination of Hialeah Green & Sun Valley Yellow, left) and some ingredients for chef Jennifer Segal's (b 1974) succotash in cast iron skillet while in the throes of preparation (right).  Ms Segal’s succotash may be the finest in the world.  While striking, the Studebaker's color combination was one of the more restrained offered that season, pink & metallic purple also available.

Lest anyone think a green and yellow Corvette is just a uniquely 1980s lapse of taste, in previous decades, in fashion and on the highways, things were often more colourful than the impression left by so much of the monochrome and sepia prevalent in the photographic record until later in the twentieth century.  With roots in a family business which in the late eighteenth century began building horse-drawn wagons, following a near-bankruptcy during the Great Depression (the corporation saved by the financial skills of Lehman Brothers (1850-2008)), Studebaker emerged from World War II (1939-1945) in good financial shape and was the first US auto-maker to release a genuinely new range of post-war models, the style of which would remain influential for a decade.  Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, the company’s next twenty years were troubled and by the mid-1960s were out of the car business, something which at the time surprised few, the only curiosity being it “…took an unconscionable time a-dying”.

1955 Studebaker Speedster: The shade of the quilted leather was listed as Congo Ivory (although collectors seem to refer “pineapple yellow”) and the diamond motif was the theme for most of the interior fitting including the engine-turned aluminium facia panel which housed what by far the US industry’s most functional (if not most imaginative) gauge cluster.

There were though in those final years a few memorable flourishes, one of which was the 1955 Speedster, produced for just one season as a flagship.  It was a blinged-up version of the President State hardtop coupe, part of a range which at the time was praised for its Italianesque lines and had it be able to be sold at a more competitive price, it may have survived to remain longer in the catalogue.  In 1955, all Studebaker’s passenger vehicles benefited from a lavish (even by Detroit’s mid-1950s standards) application of chrome and the Speedster’s front bumper is strikingly similar in shape to the “rubber bumper” added in 1974 to the MGB (1962-1980) as a quick and dirty solution to meet US front-impact regulations; it’s doubtful British Leyland’s stylists were influenced by the sight of the Speedster.

1979 Rolls-Royce Silver Wraith II in Champagne & Highland Green over color-coordinated leather.

Such was the American fondness for the “John Deere vibe” that at least one American buyer ordered a Rolls-Royce in the yellow-green combo (Champagne & Highland Green on the R-R color chart).  Re-using the name from the saloon (1946-1958) which was the first post-war Rolls-Royce (and the last of its six-cylinder cars), the Silver Wraith II (1976-1980) was a long-wheelbase (LWB) version of the Silver Shadow (1965-1980), the company’s first car to abandon the traditional chassis and use a unitary body.  Introduced in 1976 as a companion of the revised Silver Shadow II, the “LWB Silver Shadow” concept was not new because the factory had since 1967 built such things, the model added to the general production schedule in 1969.  The additional 4 inches (100 mm) in length was allocated wholly to the rear compartment so the legroom was greater although if the optional divider was fitted this was sacrificed to the structure and the space was the same as a Silver Shadow.  Rolls-Royce had before re-named what was essentially an existing model, the Corniche (1971-1995) a re-branding of the two-door (saloon (coupé) & DHC (drophead coupé, the factory later joining the rest of the planet and naming the convertibles)) versions of the Sliver Shadow which were between 1965-1971 built by MPW (Mulliner Park Ward) (the count: 571 Rolls-Royce saloons & 506 convertibles and 98 Bentley saloons & 41 convertibles).  The Everflex (an expensive, heavy-duty vinyl) covering on the Silver Wraith II’s roof was an aesthetic choice (the vinyl roof inexplicably popular in the era) and not a way of disguising seams in the metal.  Unlike some coach-builders (and even some major manufacturers) inclined to "paper over the cracks" with vinyl, Rolls-Royce did things to a higher standard.

For avatars only: A cheerleader uniform “inspired” by that of the Green Bay Packers, modeled by an “ideal” cheerleader with emblematic pig-tails, Second Life marketplace.  A demo version is available prior to purchase.

If offered for sale in the US, this particular Silver Wraith II might appeal to supporters of sporting teams which use the green-yellow combo for the players' kit.  That includes the Green Bay Packers, a professional American football team based in Green Bay, Wisconsin, which compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member of the National Football Conference's (NFC) North division.  Established in 1919, the Packers are the NFL's third-oldest franchise and are unusual to the point of uniqueness in being the only non-profit, community-owned major league professional sports team based in the US, holding the record for the most wins in NFL history.  There is also the Oregon Ducks, the University of Oregon's college football team, which competes at National Collegiate Athletic Association's (NCAA) Division I level in the Football Bowl Sub-division (FBS) and is a member of the Big Ten Conference (B1G).  Unfortunately, the team is no longer known as the Webfoots, the Ducks moniker adopted in the mid-1960s.  The green & yellow of the Ducks has some prominence in the sportswear market because of a close association with Oregon-based manufacturer Nike.   

Joey Chestnut (b 1983) (left) and Miki Sudo (b 1986) (right) the reigning men's and women's world champions in hot dog eating.  The contest is conducted annually on 4 July, US Independence Day.

In July 2022, Mr Chestnut retained and Ms Sudo regained their titles as world champions in hot dog eating.  Mr Chestnut consumed 15 more than the runner-up so the victory was decisive although his total of 63 was short of his personal best (PB) of 76, set in 2021.  It’s his fifteenth title and he has now won all but one of the last sixteen.  Ms Sudo won her eighth championship, swallowing forty hot dogs (including the bun) in the requisite ten minutes, meaning she has now prevailed in eight of the last nine contests (in 2021 she was unable to defend her title, being with child and thus wisely concluding she should not that year compete).  Despite the apparent linguistic implications, such contests are not examples of what economists call "conspicuous consumption" but that there are hot dog eating champions brings delight to some and despair to others, the latter doubtless also disturbed there is on one menu a US$5000 hamburger.

GWR world record hot dogs, the California Capitol City Dawg by Capitol Dawg (left) and the Juuni Ban by Tokyo Dog (right).

According to GWR (Guinness World Records), the planet’s most expensive hot dog was the US$169 creation sold on 23 February 2014 by Tokyo Dog (USA) in Seattle, Washington in the US.  Dubbed the “Juuni Ban”, the “footlong” (ie 12 inch (300 mm)) concoction contained smoked cheese bratwurst, butter Teriyaki grilled onions, Maitake mushrooms, Wagyu beef, foie gras, shaved black truffles, caviar and Japanese mayonnaise, presented on a brioche bun.  There have been reports of chefs who have made even more expensive hot dogs but under the GWR’s rules, to qualify, at least one hot dog had to be purchased in a “legitimate business transaction” and on that day in 2014, Tokyo Dog sold a presumably lucrative six, the impressive elasticity in the demand curve perhaps encouraged by the announcement profits would be donated to the American Red Cross rather than this being a display of conspicuous consumption.  The Juuni Ban’s price topped the record held by the previous winner, the “California Capitol City Dawg” which, priced at US$145.49, was in 2012 sold by Capitol Dawg in Sacramento, California.  A more modest “8-incher” (200 mm), it included French whole-grain mustard, garlic & herb mayonnaise, sautéed shallots, mixed baby greens, applewood and cherry-smoked, uncured bacon, Swedish moose cheese, chopped tomato, sweetened dried cranberries, a basil olive oil/cranberry-pear-coconut balsamic vinaigrette and fresh ground pepper, served on a custom-made herb focaccia roll toasted in white truffle butter.

The potential breakdown.  However good the product, both would have been cost-prohibitive. 

However tasty, neither of these culinary delights would have been considered by the organizers of the annual hot dog eating contest because, in 2022, to feed the two winners alone could have cost more than US$17,000 even assuming the suppliers maintained their prices despite inflation and other pressures.  Of course, a “volume discount” would probably have been available (such as offered by Boeing to airlines and even Rolls-Royce has such a programme “by negotiation”) but it’s doubtful either Tokyo Dog or Capitol Dawg would have been able to reduce the unit cost to an acceptable level.  The competitors doubtlessly would have noticed some difference in taste but as a general principle, in the hot dog market, while there’s likely to be an obvious difference in the quality of a US$3 hot dog compared with one costing US$10, between a US$149 and US$169 item, it’s more about variations on the theme. 

Otto von Bismarck (1815-1989; chancellor of the German Empire 1871-1890) famously observed that people "shouldn't see how laws or sausages are made".  The processes (now effectively institutionalized) which produce legislation are now more disturbing even than in the iron chancellor's gut-wrenching times but sausage production has (generally) become more hygienic.