Jelly

Jelly (pronounced jel-ee)

(1) A food preparation of a soft, elastic consistency due to the presence of gelatin, pectin etc, especially fruit juice boiled down with sugar and used as a sweet spread for bread and toast, as a filling for cakes or doughnuts etc.

(2) A preserve made from the juice of fruit boiled with sugar and used as jam (jam the preferred term in much of the English-speaking world outside North America).

(3) Any object or substance having a jelly-like consistency.

(4) A fruit-flavored gelatin dessert (in the English–speaking world but less common in North America where “jello” or “jell-o” are preferred).

(5) A “jelly shoe”, a plastic sandal or shoe, often brightly colored.

(6) To bring or come to the consistency of jelly.

(7) In theatre, film & television production, the informal term for a colored gelatin filter which can be fitted in front of a stage or studio light.

(8) A slang term for the explosive gelignite.

(9) In Caribbean (Jamaica) English, a clipping of jelly coconut.

(10) A savory substance, derived from meat, with a similar texture to the sweet dessert (the gelatinous meat product also known as aspic).

(11) In the slang of zoology, a jellyfish.

(12) In slang (underworld & pathology), blood, especially in its congealed state.

(13) In slang, an attractive young woman; one’s girlfriend (US, probably extinct).

(14) The large backside of a woman (US, now rare).

(15) In internet slang, a clipping of jealous (rare).

(16) In Indian use, a vitrified brick refuse used as metal in road construction.

(17) As “royal jelly”, a substance secreted by honey bees to aid in the development of immature or young bees, supplied in extra measure to those young destined to become queen bees.

1350–1400: From the Middle English jelyf, gelly, gelye, gelle, gelee, gele & gely (semisolid substance from animal or vegetable material, spiced and used in cooking; chopped meat or fish served in such a jelly), from the Old French gelee (frost; frozen jelly), a noun use of feminine past participle of geler (to set hard; to congeal), from the Medieval Latin gelāta (frozen), from gelu (frost), the construct being gel- (freeze) + -āta (a noun-forming suffix).  The Classical Latin verb gelō (present infinitive gelāre, perfect active gelāvī, supine gelātum) (I freeze, cause to congeal; I frighten, petrify, cause to become rigid with fright) was from gelū (frost), from the primitive Indo-European gel- (cold) and was cognate with the Ancient Greek γελανδρόν (gelandrón).  Originally quite specific, by the early fifteenth century jelly was used of any jellied or coagulated substance and by the 1700s it came to mean also "thickened juice of a fruit prepared as food" which was both a form of preserving fruit and a substance used by chefs for flavoring and decorative purposes.  The adjective jellied (past-participle from the verb jelly) emerged in the 1590s with the sense of “of the consistency of jelly” and by the late nineteenth century this had been extended to include “sweetened with jelly”.  Because of the close historical association with foods, the preferred adjectival form for other purposes is jelly-like.  As a modifier jelly has proved productive, the forms including jelly baby, jelly bag, jellybean, jelly coat, jelly doughnut, comb jelly, jelly bracelet, jelly plant & royal jelly.  Jelly is a noun & verb, jellify & jellification are nouns, jellified & jellied are verbs & adjectives and jellying is a verb; the noun plural is jellies.

Aunger "jelly bean" aluminium wheels, magazine advertisement, 1974.  A design popular in the 1970s, different manufacturers used their own brand-names but colloquially the style was known as the “jellybean”, “slotted” or “beanhole”.

The verb jell (assume the consistence of jelly) is documented since 1869 and was a coining of US English, doubtlessly as a back-formation from the noun of jelly.  The figurative use (organizations, ideas, design etc) emerged circa 1908 but with the spelling gel, a echo of the Middle English gelen (congeal) which was extinct by the late fifteenth century.  The jellyfish (also jelly-fish) was in the late eighteenth century a popular name of the medusa and similar sea-creatures, the name derived from the soft structure.  Figuratively, jellyfish was used from the 1880s for “a person of weak character” although publications from 1707 use the name for an actual vertebrate fish.  

The jelly roll.

The jellyroll (also jelly-roll) was a “cylindrical cake containing jelly or jam” which dates from 1873 and in some markets (notably Australia & New Zealand) it is sold as a “jam roll” or “Swiss Jam Roll”.  The use of jelly roll as slang for both the vagina and the act of sexual intercourse was of African-American origin circa 1914 and was mentioned several times in blues music.  The jellybean (also (rarely) jelly-bean) (small bean-shaped, multi-colored sugar candy with a firm shell and a thick gel interior) was introduced in 1905, the name obviously from the shape.  It entered US slang in the 1910s with the sense of “someone stupid; a half-wit” which was apparently the source of the slang sense of bean as “head”.  In the 1990s, jellybean was the (usually disparaging) term often applied to the depressingly similarly-shaped cars which were the product of wind-tunnels.  While aerodynamically efficient, few found the lines attractive.

1996 Ford Taurus Ghia (left) and 1996 Ford EF Falcon XR8 (right).

In 1996, Ford Australia put the US-sourced Taurus into the showrooms alongside the locally-built and well-received EF Falcon.  As well as carrying the stigma of front wheel drive (FWD), the “jellybean” styling alienated buyers, some of whom suggested the Taurus looked as if it had already been in an accident.  The Taurus was withdrawn from the Australian market after two years of dismal sales, dealers managing to clear to unsold stock only after a further year of heavy discounting.

Champagne Jelly

Champagne Jelly was served at the coronation banquet of Edward VII (1841–1910; King of the United Kingdom and Emperor of India 1901-1910) in 1902 and has since been a popular “nostalgia” dish, seen often at weddings or seasonal celebrations.

Ingredients (to serve 6)

1 bottle 750 ml bottle of Champagne
2 sachets (2½ tsp each) powdered gelatin (or 8 gelatin sheets)
2 tablespoons water (if using powdered gelatin)
115g (4oz) white sugar
Berries and/or edible flowers (optional)
Fresh mint leaves, for garnish

Instructions

(1) Place Champagne bottle in a freezer 30 minutes before beginning (this will ensure jelly will retain the bubbles

(2) In a small bowl, sprinkle the powdered gelatin, if using, over the water and let stand until softened (typically 3-5 minutes).  If using gelatin sheets, put sheets into a bowl and cover with cold water, soaking until floppy (typically 5-10 minutes).

(3) Open Champagne and pour 120ml into a small pan.  Return the Champagne to the freezer, ensuring bottle remains upright.  If this is not possible, put bottle into fridge in upright position.

(4) Add the sugar to the pan, place over a medium heat, and heat, stirring, until the sugar dissolves at which point, removed from the heat.  Liquefy the powdered gelatin by setting the bowl of softened gelatin into a larger bowl of very hot tap water (do not use boiling water).

(5) If using gelatin sheets, lift the sheets from the water, wring to release excess water, then put them into a bowl and liquefy as for the powdered gelatin.  Add the liquefied gelatin to the Champagne mixture and stir until the gelatin dissolves.

(6) Strain the mixture through a fine sieve into a bowl or pitcher, then allow it cool to room temperature.

(7) Add 480ml of chilled Champagne to the cooled gelatin mixture and stir well.  If adding berries or edible flowers, pour half of the gelatin mixture into a 600ml (1pint) mould and chill until almost set (typically 30-45 minutes).  Arrange the embellishments on top, then add the remaining gelatin mixture.

(8) If serving the jelly without embellishments, pour all the gelatin mixture into the mould.  Cover and refrigerate until fully set (at least 12 hours and preferably longer).  At this point drink remaining Champagne.  If need be, open a second bottle.

(9) To serve, fill a bowl with hot water.  Dip the bottom of the mould into the hot water for a few seconds to loosen the jelly from the mould, then place on a serving plate and garnish with mint.

Lindsay Lohan in outfit inspired by Champagne Jelly, ABC’s Good Morning America, November 2022.  The suit was from Law Roach’s (b 1978) Akris’ fall 2022 ready-to-wear collection, the ensemble including a wide-lapelled jacket, turtleneck and boot cut pants fabricated in a green, yellow, red & orange Drei Teile print in an irregular geometric pattern.  The distinctive look was paired with a similarly eclectic combination of accessories, chunky gold hoop earrings, a cross-body Anouk envelope handbag, and Giuseppe Zanotti platform heels.

Flummery & Pabulum

Flummery (pronounced fluhm-uh-ree)

(1) Oatmeal or flour boiled with water until thick (historically, a slightly tart, jelly-like food of Welsh origin, made from extensively boiling oats, then boiling down the liquid extracted from it).

(2) A fruit custard or blancmange,  any of several bland, gelatinous foodstuffs, made usually from stewed fruit and thickened with oatmeal, cornstarch or flour.

(3) In speech or writing, complete nonsense; foolish humbug; words devoid of meaning (applied especially of flattery); deceptive or blustering speech (applied especially in politics and, as an interjection, an expression of contemptuous disbelief).

(4) Pretentious trappings, useless embellishments or ornaments intended to impress (applied to architecture, interior decorating, fashion etc).

1623: From the Welsh llymru (which was assimilated into English with an –ery ending) of uncertain origin but there may be some link with llymrig (slippery).  The figurative use to describe flattery or empty, meaningless talk, is from the 1740s.  Flummery is a noun; the noun plural is flummeries.

The Welsh llymru was “a jelly derived from oatmeal”, the name first noted in English poet Gervase Markham's (circa 1568–1637) Countrey Contentments (1623) and was known also as wash-brew although in Lancashire and Cheshire, it was called flamerie or flumerie.  The modern spelling was one of the variant forms which in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries also included thlummery and flamery.  By the nineteenth century, flummery had become the standard form, both to describe bland, unsatisfying food and unsubstantial talk or writing, and nonsense.  The US food with similar meanings is Mead Johnson's pablum, a soft, bland cereal, intended for infants, invalids and the weak.  In post-war Australia, a flummery was the name given to a mousse dessert made with beaten evaporated milk, sugar, and gelatine.  Also made using jelly crystals, mousse flummery became popular as an inexpensive alternative to traditional cream-based mousse.  In the US, it was named blancmange.

Pabulum (pronounced pab-yuh-luhm)

(1) Something that nourishes an animal or vegetable organism; food; nutriments.

(2) Figuratively, food for thought (can be neutral or positive but is more commonly used of material thought bland, dull or intellectually undemanding). 

(3) Material that fuels a fire (now rare except in technical documents).

1670-1680: From the Classical Latin pābulum (food, nourishment; fodder or pasture for animals; nourishment for the mind, food for thought), the construct being pā(scō) (to nourish) +‎ bulum (the suffix denoting an instrument).  Root was the primitive Indo-European peh-dlom, the construct being pe- (to feed) or peh- (to protect; to shepherd) + -dlom (a variant of -trom (the suffix denoting a tool or instrument)).  In the early eighteenth century the adjective pabulary (of or pertaining to pabulum (in the sense of food) and from the Latin pabulosus (abounding in fodder)) enjoyed a brief vogue as a noun (an eating place or a counter in an inn from which meals were served).  Pablum is a noun, pabular is a verb, pabulous, pabular & pabulary are adjectives; the noun plural is pabulums.

Crooked Spiro & Tricky Dick: Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon.

The word in the late seventeenth century was used of food in the widest sense (ie that which feeds or nourishes) and that applied to that taken by people, animals, agricultural crops (in the sense of fertilizer) and even the material used to fuel a fire.  A trademark of manufacturers Mead Johnson, Pablum is a soft, bland cereal, intended for infants, invalids and the weak which was released in 1932 and it was this association which was picked up in the figurative use made of pabulum (to describe vapid or mushy political prose) in a speech made on 11 September 1970 by Spiro Agnew (1918–1996; US vice president 1969-1973).  The tone of the speech (though perhaps not the labored syntax which would be rejected as TLDR (too long, didn’t read) in the social media age) would be familiar to modern audiences used to political figures attacking the news media and was a critique of what later Republicans would label “fake news”.

“In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.  They have formed their own 4-H Club - the “hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history”  “…As long as they have their own association, crooks will flourish.  As long as they have their own television networks, paid for by their own advertisers, they will continue to have their own commentators.  It is time for America to quit catering to the pabulum peddlers and the permissive.  It is time to speak up forcefully for the conservative cause."

It wasn’t a new complaint for the aggressively alliterative Agnew and certainly represented well the opinions of Richard Nixon (1913–1994; US president 1969-1974) whose long list (and it was literally a list) of enemies included many journalists, editors and media proprietors.  In November 1969, Agnew had appeared at the Midwestern Regional Republican Conference in Des Moines, Iowa where he attacked “…this little group of men” who he accused of wielding “a free hand in selecting, presenting and interpreting” the news.  Intellectuals, he labeled “…an effete corps of impudent snobs”, a sentiment Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021) would later recycle, the phraseology simplified so his “deplorables” would comprehend.  Agnew’s speeches are not classics in the art of rhetoric but remain landmarks in the culture wars which began in the early 1960s and which are being fought still.

Concurrent with though not related to the Watergate affair, in early 1973, Agnew was under investigation on suspicion of conspiracy, bribery, extortion and tax fraud.  While for months denying everything (always good legal advice which succeeds more often than it should), Agnew eventually was forced to negotiate a plea-bargain whereby he would resign from office but avoid jail.  On 10 October 1973, Agnew pleaded no contest to a single felony charge of tax evasion and resigned, not a few of those he’d earlier derided as “crooks” not reluctant to ensure the juxtaposition was well publicized.  Facing impeachment for his role in the Watergate affair cover-up, President Nixon (who earlier had made his soon infamous “I am not a crook” speech, followed within a year, saved from prosecution by a presidential pardon, granted by Gerald Ford (1913–2006; US president 1974-1977) who had been Nixon’s choice to replace Agnew as vice-president.

Lemon, Orange & Passionfruit Flummery

Ingredients

115g (½ cup) caster sugar

2 tablespoons plain flour

1 tablespoon powdered gelatine

250ml (1 cup) water

2 oranges, juiced & strained

1 lemon, juiced & strained

125ml (½ cup) fresh passionfruit pulp

Whipped cream, to serve

2 tablespoons passionfruit pulp, (extra, to spread on top)

Method

(1) Place the sugar, flour, gelatine, water, orange juice and lemon juice in a medium saucepan. Use a balloon whisk to whisk until well combined. Bring to the boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Simmer for 2 minutes.

(2) Pour the mixture into a heatproof bowl and place in the fridge for 1 hour or until the mixture begins to set around the edges. Stir in the passionfruit and transfer to a large bowl. Use an electric beater to beat for 15 minutes or until the mixture is thick and pale.

(3) Pour the mixture evenly into four 310ml (1¼ cups) serving glasses. Cover the glass tightly with plastic wrap and place in the fridge for 1-2 hours or until the mixture is set.

(4) Serve topped with whipped cream and with extra passionfruit pulp.

Croissant

Croissant (pronounced krwah-sahn (French), kruh-sahnt (barbarians) or cross-ant (savages)

A rich, buttery, often crescent-shaped, roll of leavened dough or puff paste.

1899:  From the French croissant (crescent), present participle of the verb croître (to increase, to grow), from the Middle French croistre, from the Old French creistre derived from the Classical Latin crēscēns & crēscentem, present active infinitive of crēscō (I augment), drawn from the Proto-Italic krēskō. The ultimate root was the primitive Indo-European ḱreh (to grow, become bigger).  Correct pronunciation here.  Chefs & bakers have found the word adaptable when inventing pasteries, coining croffle (croissant-waffle hybrid), cronut (a croissant-doughnut hybrid), cruffin (a croissant-muffin hybrid) and doissant (an alternative name for a cronut).  Croissant is a noun and croissantlike is an adjective; the noun plural is croissants.  

The Austrian Pastry

Like some other cultural artefacts thought quintessentially French (French fries invented in Belgium; Nicolas Sarkozy (b 1955; French president 2007-2012) from here and there; the Citroën DS (1955-1975) styled by an Italian) the croissant came from elsewhere, its origins Austrian, the Viennese kipferl a crescent-shaped sweet made plain, with nuts or other fillings.  It varies from the French classic in being denser and less flaky, made with softer dough.  First noted in the thirteenth century at which time, it was thought a “sweet” it was another three-hundred years before it came to be regarded as a morning pastry.  Tastes changed as new techniques of baking evolved and around the turn of the seventeenth century, recipes began to appear in Le Pâtissier François using Pâte feuilletée (puff pastry), these being the first recognisably modern croissants.

A classic butter croissant with a long black coffee (Caffè Americano).

Culinary histories include a number of (likely apocryphal) tales of why the croissant adopted a crescent shape.  One suggests it was baked first in Buda to celebrate the defeat of the Ummayyad (the Umayyad Caliphate (661–750) was the second of the four major caliphates created after the death of the prophet Muhammad (circa 570-632)) forces by the Franks in the Battle of Tours (732), the shape representing the Islamic crescent moon although more famous is the notion it was designed after the battle of 1683 when the Ottomans were turned back from the gates of Vienna.  A baker, said to have heard the Turks tunneling under the walls of the city as he lit his ovens to bake the morning bread, sounded an alarm, and the defending forces collapsed the tunnel, saving the city.   To celebrate, bread was baked in the shape of the crescent moon of the Turkish flag.

Portrait of Marie Antoinette (1755–1793; Queen of France 1774-1792) (1769), oil on canvas by Joseph Ducreux (1735-1802).

The official title of the portrait was Archduchess Maria Antonia of Austria and it was created as the era’s equivalent of a Tinder profile picture, the artist summoned in 1769 to Vienna to paint a pleasing rendering of the young lady the Hapsburg royal court planned to marry off to Louis, Dauphin of France (1754-1973) who would reign as Louis XVI (King of France 1774-1792)).  Tinder profile pictures can be misleading (some pounds and even more years sometimes vanishing) so the work must be considered in that context although she was barely fourteen when she sat so it may be true to the subject.  Ducreux’s portrait was the first glimpse the prince had of his intended bride and it must have been pleasing enough for him metaphorically to "swipe right" and the marriage lasted until the pair were executed with the blade of the guillotine.  As a reward, Ducreux was raised to the nobility as a seigneur de la baronnie (lord of the barony, the grade of of baron granted to roturiers (commoners)) and appointed premier peintre de la reine (First Painter to the Queen), outliving the royal couple.

Rendered by Vovsoft as cartoon character: a brunette Lindsay Lohan in croissant T-shirt.

A more romantic tale attributes the pastry to Marie Antoinette, who, as an Austrian, preferred the food of her homeland to that of the French court and, at state dinners, would sneak off to enjoy pastries and coffee.  There is no documentary evidence for her having re-christened the kipferl as the croissant but the story is she so missed what she knew as kipfel (German for crescent) that she commanded the royal baker to clone the treat.  More prosaic, but actually verified by historical evidence, is that August Zang (1807-1888), a retired Austrian artillery officer founded a Viennese Bakery in Paris in 1839 and most food historians agree he is the one most likely to have introduced the kipfel to France, a pastry that later inspired French bakers to create crescents of their own.  The first mention of the croissant in French is in French chemist Anselme Payen’s (1795-1871) Des Substances alimentaires (1853), published long after Marie-Antoinette’s time in court, the first known printed recipe, using the name, appearing in Swiss chef Joseph Favre’s (1849-1903) Dictionnaire universel de cuisine (1905) although even that was a more dense creation than the puffy thing known today.

Once were croissants: 1967 Mercedes-Benz 600 (with Biskuitrolles (jam rolls) or Nackenrolles (neck rolls), left), 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 (with “croissants” or “rabbits ears”, centre) and 1990 Mercedes-Benz 560 SEL (with boring “headrests”, right).

Mercedes-Benz introduced their Kopfstütze (literally “head support” although in the factory’s technical documents the design project was the Kopfstützensystem (head restraint system)) when the 600 (W100, 1963-1981) was displayed at the 1963 Frankfurt Motor Show, the early cars having only a rear-pair as standard equipment (there was an expectation many 600s would be chauffeur-driven) with the front units optional but the hand-built 600 could be ordered with one, two, three or four Kopfstützen (or even none although no 600s seem to have been ordered so-configured).  In 1969 the design was updated and over three weeks the new type was phased in for the models then in production.  While a totally new design (one cognizant of the US safety regulations which had mandated them for the front seats of passenger vehicles) with a different internal structure and mounting assembly, the most distinctive aspect was the raised sides which some compared to the “pagoda” roof then in use on the W113 (230, 250 & 280 SL, 1963-1971) roadster but this was coincidental.  In the early press reports the shapes were described with culinary references, the previous versions said to resemble a Biskuitrolle mit Marmelade (jam filled sponge roll) while the new generation was more like a croissant.  In the English-speaking world, neither term caught on, the older style was called something like “older style” while the new came to be known as “rabbits ears” which was much more charming.  Uncharmed, the humorless types at the factory continued to call them teilt (split) or offener Rahmen (open-frame).  The “rabbits ears” were phased out in 1979 although the low volume 600 retained them (along with the archaic rear swing-axles!) until the last was built in 1981.  The design introduced in 1979 seems never to have been compared to any kind of food and it reverted to lateral symmetry although the structure was noticeably more vertiginous.

The factory may have described them as Kopfstützensystem (head restraint system, a pair in red leather to the left) but as well as the jam roll allusion, people also called them Nackenrolles (literally “neck roll”, centre) which were cylindrical pillows designed to support the head and neck when the user was seated.  Long a fixture in the catalogues of interior decorators, they gained a new popularity when televisions became a standard feature in houses and remain available although much modern furniture is now designed with head-support “built-in”.  Modern commerce adopted the term Nackenrolle (often without the initial capital when advertised in English-speaking markets) to cater to one growth market of the late twentieth century: frequent flyers and those on long haul flights.  These included shapes ranging from a simple horseshoe to “wrap-around” items (right) and some which enveloped almost the entire head in a supportive padded surround, an aperture to allow breathing through the nose and mouth the only gap (resembling the once perpetually doomed Kenny McCormick in the animated TV series South Park on Paramount's Comedy Central cable channel).

Depending on this & that, it's a jam roll, Swiss jam roll, jelly roll or Biskuitrolle.

Quick & simple to make and adaptable to a range of variants, the jam roll is a classic European sweet treat; usually it’s served sliced.  In some English-speaking markets, commonly they’re sold as a “Swiss Jam Roll”, thus the not unreasonable assumption it was bakers in Switzerland who invented the things but although the documentary evidence is sketchy, it’s clear from surviving cookbooks they were a common creation, rolled sponge cakes appearing across Central and Western Europe by at least the early eighteenth century.  However, the first known instance of the term “Swiss Jam Roll” in print was in England in the 1850s and that was as a marketing ploy; “Viennese”, “Danish”, or “French” often used as “prestige adjectives” because of the deservedly high reputation of the cakes and pastries served in Parisian & Viennese cafés, English cuisine not enjoying such high repute.  The term “Swiss Jam Roll” certainly caught on although the roll (or roulade) is very much a generic rolled sponge cake and between European cities there would have been little local variation.  In the US, they came to be known as “jelly rolls” because there what the English called “jam” was dubbed jelly and the Germans called them Biskuitrolles.  That makes curious the US use of “biscuit” to mean a kind of soft, semi-sweet or savory bread (something like an English scone) whereas what the English call “biscuits”, the Americans call “cookies”.  That does hint what the German immigrants to North America used for their Biskuitrolles may have been less sweet than the classic sponge cake used in the modern versions.  As a footnote, in Noblesse Oblige: An Enquiry Into the Identifiable Characteristics of the English Aristocracy (1956), Nancy Mitford (1904–1973) listed “jam” as “non-U” (ie not the word used by the upper classes) while “preserves” (always in the plural) was the “U” form.  Despite that, in class-conscious England, there appears to be no record of “preserve rolls”. Swiss or otherwise so either it was classless food or the toffs just forgave the name and enjoyed the treat.

Petit-déjeuner à Paris: café; croissant; Gauloises.

In 2025, for some to enjoy the pleasure of a croissant at breakfast began to demand a little more planning after the French government banned the smoking of cigarettes in all outdoor areas where children can be present (US$130 on-the-spot fine).  Vaping was still allowed (!) so there was that and terrasses (the outdoor areas of coffee shops bars) were exempt.  While inhaling a known carcinogen is not good and should be discouraged, the odd concession such as allowing consenting adults together to enjoy a coffee and cigarette does seem a worthwhile tribute civilization can pay to the irrational.  It's good Jean-Paul Sartre (1905–1980) & Simone de Beauvoir (1908–1986) didn't live to see this day. 

Although the famous shape is much admired, for purists, the choice is always the un-curved croissant au beurre, (butter croissant), the more eye-catching crescents being usually the ordinaires, made with margarine.  The taste in the English-speaking world for things like ham-and-cheese croissants is regarded by the French as proof of Anglo-Saxon barbarism although they will tolerate a sparse drizzle of chocolate if it’s for children and food critics reluctantly concede the almond croissant (with a frangipane filling, topped with slivered almonds and a dusting of powdered sugar) is “…enjoyed by younger women”.  Generally though, the French stick to the classics, eschewing even butter, a croissant being best enjoyed unadorned and taken with a strong black coffee and while some will insist this should be accompanied with a Gitanes, that is optional.

The cube croissant, an Instagram favorite.

Although much focused upon, the shape of a croissant of course becomes less relevant when eaten when the experience becomes one of taste and texture.  For that reason the pastry used has long attracted those chefs for whom food offers architectural possibilities and while for more than a century one-offs have been created for competition and special event, in recent years the phenomenon of social media has been a design stimulant, Instagram, TikTok etc fuelling a culinary arms race and patisseries have built (sometimes short-lived) product lines in response to viral videos.  Fillings have of course been a feature but it’s the shapes which have been most eye-catching (and by extension click-catching which is the point for the content providers). There have been “croissants” in the shape of spheres, discs, pyramids, spirals, wedges and cubes, the last among the more amusing with chefs referencing objects and concepts such as dice, cubist art and, of course, the Rubik’s Cube.  Many have been just a moment while some have for a while trended.

Dominique Ansel's Cronut, stacked and sliced.

Some have endured for longer such as the Cronut (the portmanteau’s construct being cro(issant) + (dough)nut) and so serious was New York based French pastry chef Dominique Ansel (b 1978) that in 2013 he trademarked his creation.  In the familiar shape of a doughnut, the composition was described as “a croissant-like pastry with a filling of flavored cream and fried in grapeseed oil.”  Interviewed by Murdoch tabloid the New York Post, the chef revealed it took “two months of R&D (research & development)” before the Cronut was perfected and the effort was clearly worthwhile because after being released in his eponymous bakery in Manhattan’s SoHo neighbourhood, the city’s food bloggers (a numerous and competitive population) responded and within days photographs circulated of dozens waiting for opening time, a reaction which prompted the application to the US Patent and Trademark Office.  In the way of such things, around the planet “clones”, “tributes”, “knock-offs”, “imitations”, “rip-offs” (the descriptions as varied as the slight changes in the recipes introduced presumably to fend off a C&D (cease and desist letter)) soon appeared.  Predictably, some were called “Doughssants” (the Germanic eszett a nice touch) although others were less derivative.

Rupert Murdoch's (b 1931) New York Post, 16 August, 2022.

Monsieur Ansel in 2015 released Dominique Ansel: The Secret Recipes, a cookbook which included the Cronut recipe and the thing in its authentic form was clearly for the obsessives, the instructions noting making one or a batch was a three-day process.  In its review of the year, Time magazine nominated the Cronut as one of the “best inventions of 2013”, prompting one cultural commentator (another species which proliferates in New York City) to observe the decadence of the West had reached the point the breakdown of society was close.  There may have been something in the idea the new “Visigoths at the Gates of Rome” were actually pastry chefs because in the wake of the Cronut the city was soon flooded with all sorts of novel sugary treats, mostly elaborations of croissants, doughnuts and, it being NYC, bagels.  By 2022 the New York Post was prepared to proclaim: “Move over cronuts! NYC's hot new baked good is the Suprême”, the defenestrator from Noho’s Lafayette Grand Café and revealed to be a “unique circular croissant filled with pastry crème and topped with ganache and crushed up cookies.”  Again of the Instagram & TikTok age, queues were reported even though at a unit cost of US$8.50 it was two dollars more expensive than a Cronut, the price of which had increased fairly modestly since 2013 when it debuted at US$5.00.

All the recent variations on the croissant are built on the theme chefs have for centuries understood is the easy path to popularity: FSS; add fat, salt & sugar, the substances mankind has for millennia sought.  Once it took much effort (and often some risk) to find these things but now they’re conveniently packaged and widely available at prices which, although subject to political and economic forces, remain by historic standards very cheap.  Often, we don’t even need to seek out the packages because so much of the preparation and distribution of food has been outsourced to specialists, mostly industrial concerns but the artisans persist in niches.  That’s certainly true of the croissant, few making their own whether basic or embellished and one of the latest of the croissant crazes is FSS writ large: the crookie.

Miss Sina's crookie (without added topping or powered sugar).

A crookie is a croissant stuffed with chocolate chip cookie dough and its very existence will be thought particularly shameful by some Parisian purists because it was first sold in December 2023 by the Boulangerie Louvard, located on Rue de Châteaudun in Paris’s 9^th arrondissement which, in an Instragram post announced the arrival: “Our pure butter croissant, awarded the seventh best croissant in the Île-de-France region in 2022, is made every morning with a 24-hour fermented milk sourdough and layered with Charente butter.  For our cookie dough, we use one of the best and purest chocolates in the world, from @xoco.gourmet.”  Offered originally in a test batch to test the market, the boulangerie soon announced “The concept was well received, so we're keeping it.  Available every day in-store!”

Unlike a Cronut which (at least in its pure form) demands three days to make, the charm of the crookie is its elegant simplicity and Instagrammers quickly deconstructed and posted the instructions:

(1) With a serrated knife, cut open a croissant lengthwise, leaving a “hinge” at the back.

(2) Add 2-3 tablespoons of your chocolate chip cookie dough (from a packet or home-made).

(3) Close the two sections of croissant wholly encasing the dough.

(4) When the dough is almost cooked (time will vary according to oven and the volume of dough but it takes only a few minutes), remove from oven.

(5) Add more cookie dough to the top of croissant and return to the oven for final bake.

(6) When the outside is crispy and the centre gooey, remove from oven and top with a dusting of powdered sugar.

Some crookie critics don't recommend either adding the second lashing of dough or the powered sugar because they tend to "overwhelm" the croissant and limit the surface area, thereby denying the dish some of the essential crispiness.  

The croissant in fashion

Louis Vuitton Croissant (2001) and Loop (2021).

While a handbag lends itself well to the shape of a crescent, it does inherently limit the efficiency of space utilization but this aspect is often not a primary goal in the upper reaches of the market.  With garments however, although actually a common component because the shape makes all sorts of engineering possible such as the underwire of the bra or other constructions where any sort of cantilever effect is demanded, it’s usually just an element rather than a design motif.  As a playful touch, a distinctive crescent moon or croissant might appear on a T-shirt or scarf but it’s rare to see a whole garment pursue the theme although they have appeared on the catwalks where they attract the usual mix of admiration and derision.  The original Louis Vuitton Croissant was introduced early in the twenty-first century and although modest compared with some of the company's designs, it proved to be one of the "goldilocks" bags in that it was for many just the right size and shape; now discontinued, it's still in demand through the vibrant after-market channels, fine examples selling for well-above their original list price.  Louis Vuitton must have noted the appeal because in 2021 the Loop was released, designed by Nicolas Ghesquière (b 1971) for the Cruise 2022 Collection.  The Loop was described as a "half-moon baguette" and and is closer to a crescent than the earlier bag which was in the shape of a classic butter croissant.  Some might find the fussiness in the Loop over-detailed but markets east of Suez are now important and the added bling in the detailing reflects modern consumer preferences.

SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker; b 1965) in "croissant dress" (left) and a HD (heavy duty) PVC (polyvinyl chloride) dishwashing glove in action (right).

Occasionally, catwalk creations escape and are seen in the wild.  In 2022, the actor Sarah Jessica Parker appeared in HBO's (Home Box Office) And Just Like That (2021-2022; a revival of the Sex and the City TV series (1998-2004)), wearing an orange Valentino Haute Couture gown from the house’s spring/summer 2019 collection.  It recalled a large croissant, the piece chosen presumably because the scene was set in Paris although it must have been thought viewers needed the verisimilitude laid on with a trowel because also prominent was a handbag in the shape of the Eifel Tower.  A gift to the meme-makers, while comments were numerous, admiration for the dress seemed restrained although many were taken by what at first glance appeared to be a pair of PVC (also available in latex) dishwashing gloves in a fetching pink (closer to hot pink than fashion fuchsia); few critics doubted they really were opera gloves from Valentino Haute Couture.

Whisk

Whisk (pronounced wisk or hwisk)

(1) To move with a rapid, sweeping stroke.

(2) To sweep (dust, crumbs etc, or a surface) with a whisk broom, brush, or the like.

(3) To draw, snatch or carry etc; a generalized term meaning to move or do something nimbly or rapidly (often as “whisked away”, “whisked off” etc).

(4) To whip (eggs, cream etc.) to a froth using a whisk or other beating device.

(5) The an act of whisking; a rapid, sweeping stroke; light, rapid movement.

(6) As whisk broom, a device topped with a small cluster of grass, straw, hair or the like, used especially for brushing.

(7) A kitchen utensil, in the form of a bunch of (usually metal wire, plastic strands or (in the Far East) bamboo) loops held together in a handle and used for beating, blending or whipping eggs, cream; making souffles etc.  Modern whisks can also be electro-mechanical and “non-stick” whisks use a Teflon coating.

(8) The by-product of something which has been “whisked away”.

(9) A special plane used by coopers for evening a barrel’s chimes (the curved, outermost edge or rim at the top and bottom ends of the barrel, typically wider and thicker than the rest of the staves (the vertical wooden planks that form the sides)).

(10) In fashion, a kind of cape forming part of a woman's dress (sometimes detachable).

(11) In some card games, the act of sweeping the cards off the table after a trick has been won.

1325–1375: From the Middle English & Scots wysk (rapid sweeping movement), from the earlier Scots verbs wisk & quhisk, from the Old English wiscian (to plait) & weoxian (to clean with brush), from a Scandinavian source comparable to the Old Norse & Norwegian visk (wisp), the Swedish viska besom & wisp (to whisk (off)) and the Danish visk & viske (to wipe, rub, sponge) and related to the Middle Dutch wisch, the Dutch wis, the Old High German wisken (to wipe) & wisc (wisp of hay), the German Wisch, the Latin virga (rod, switch) & viscus (entrails), the Czech vechet (a wisp of straw), the Lithuanian vizgéti (to tremble), the Czech vechet (wisp of straw) and the Sanskrit वेष्क (veṣka) (noose) all thought from the Proto-Germanic wiskaz & wiskō (bundle of hay, wisp), from the primitive Indo-European weys- or weis (to turn; to twist).  The un-etymological wh-, noted since the 1570s, probably developed because it was expressive of the sound typically generated by the act of “whisking” something; the same evolution was noted in whip and the onomatopoeic whack and whoosh.  The device used in preparing food (implement for beating eggs etc) was first documented as “a whisk” in the 1660s although cooks had presumably been using such things for many years.  The verb developed in the late fifteenth century, the transitive sense from the 1510s while the familiar meaning “to brush or sweep (something) lightly over a surface” dates from the 1620s.  Whisk & whisking are nouns & verbs and whisked is a verb; the noun plural is whisks.

Variations on a theme of whisk.

Whisk is (almost) wholly unrelated to whisky & whiskey.  Dating from 1715, whisky was a variant of usque,an abbreviation of usquebaugh, from the Irish uisce beatha (water of life) or the Scots Gaelic uisge-beatha (water of life), ultimately a translation of the Medieval Latin aqua vītae (water of life (originally an alchemical term for unrefined alcohol)).  The form whiskybae has been obsolete since the mid eighteenth century.  The Scots and Irish forms were from the Proto-Celtic udenskyos (water) + biwotos (life), from biwos(alive).  The Old Irish uisce (water) was from the primitive Indo-European ud-skio-, a suffixed form of the root wed- (water; wet); bethu (life), from the primitive Indo-European gwi-wo-tut-, a suffixed form of gwi-wo-, from the root gwei- (to live). The noun plurals are whiskies & whiskeys.  Although iskie bae had been known in the 1580s, it appears unrelated to usquebea (1706), the common form of which was uisge beatha which in 1715 became usquebaugh, then whiskeybaugh & whiskybae, the most familiar phonetic form of which evolved as “usky”, influencing the final spellings which remain whisky & whiskey.  Wisely, the Russians avoided the linguistic treadmill, the unchanging vodka freely translated as “little water”.  The exception was the “whisky”, a small carriage (technically a “light gig” to coach-builders) which was from the verb whisk, the idea being something in which one was “whisked quickly around” the lightweight carriages being faster than most.  Chefs also caution home cooks not to confuse “whisky butter” (A concoction made of whisky, butter & sugar) with “whisked butter” which is butter which has been whisked.

Lindsay Lohan Oreos

Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap (1998).

Whether it was already something widely practiced isn’t known but Lindsay Lohan is credited with introducing to the world the culinary novelty Oreos & peanut butter in The Parent Trap.  According to the director, it was added to the script “…for no reason other than it sounded weird and some cute kid would do it."  Like some other weirdnesses, the combination has a cult following and for those who enjoy peanut butter but suffer arachibutyrophobia (the morbid fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one’s mouth), Tastemade have provided a recipe for Lindsay Lohan-style Oreos with a preparation time (including whisking) of 2 hours.  They take 20 minutes to cook and in this mix there are 8 servings (scale ingredients up to increase the number of servings).

Ingredients

2 cups flour
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (plus more for dusting)
¾ teaspoon kosher salt
1 ¼ cups unsalted butter (at room temperature)
¾ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Powdered sugar, for dusting

Filling Ingredients

½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
¼ cup unsweetened smooth peanut butter
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
A pinch of kosher salt (omit if using salted peanut butter)

Filling Instructions

(1) With a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, the butter & peanut butter until creamy.

(2) Gradually add powdered sugar and beat to combine, then beat in vanilla and salt.

Whisking the mix.

Instructions

(1) Preheat the oven to 325°F (160°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

(2) In small bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder & salt.

(3) In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Mix in the vanilla extract. With the mixer running on low speed, add the flour mixture and beat until just combined (it should remain somewhat crumbly).

(4) Pour mixture onto a work surface and knead until it’s “all together”; wrap half in plastic wrap and place in refrigerator.

(5) Lightly dust surface and the top of the dough with a 1:1 mixture of cocoa powder and powdered sugar.

(6) Working swiftly and carefully, roll out dough to a ¼-½ inch (6-12 mm) thickness and cut out 2 inch (50 mm) rounds.  Transfer them to the baking sheets, 1 inch (25 mm) apart (using a small offset spatula helps with this step). Re-roll scraps and cut out more rounds, the repeat with remaining half of the dough.

(7) Bake cookies until the tops are no longer shiny ( about 20 minutes), then cool on pan for 5 minutes before transferring to wire rack completely to cool.

(8) To assemble, place half the cookies on a plate or work surface.

(9) Pipe a blob of filling (about 2 teaspoons) onto the tops of each of these cookies and then place another cookie on top, pressing slightly but not to the extent filled oozes from the sides.

(10) Refrigerate for a few minutes to allow the filling to firm up.  Store in an air-tight container in refrigerator.

The manufacturer embraced the idea of peanut butter Oreos and has released versions, both with the classic cookie and a peanut butter & jelly (jam) variation paired with its “golden wafers”.  As well as Lindsay Lohan’s contribution, Oreos have attracted the interest of mathematicians.  Nabisco in 1974 introduced the Double Stuf Oreo, the clear implication being a promise the variety contained twice crème filling supplied in the original.  However, a mathematician undertook the research and determined Double Stuf Oreos contained only 1.86 times the volume of filling of a standard Oreo.  Despite that, the company survived the scandal and the Double Stuf Oreo’s recipe wasn’t adjusted.

Scandalous in its own way was that an April 2022 research paper published in the journal Physics of Fluids wasn’t awarded that year’s Ig Nobel Prize for physics, the honor taken by Frank Fish, Zhi-Ming Yuan, Minglu Chen, Laibing Jia, Chunyan Ji & Atilla Incecik, for their admittedly ground-breaking (or perhaps water-breaking) work in explaining how ducklings manage to swim in formation.  More deserving surely were Crystal Owens, Max Fan, John Hart & Gareth McKinley who introduced to physics the discipline of Oreology (the construct being Oreo + (o)logy).  The suffix -ology was formed from -o- (as an interconsonantal vowel) +‎ -logy.  The origin in English of the -logy suffix lies with loanwords from the Ancient Greek, usually via Latin and French, where the suffix (-λογία) is an integral part of the word loaned (eg astrology from astrologia) since the sixteenth century.  French picked up -logie from the Latin -logia, from the Ancient Greek -λογία (-logía).  Within Greek, the suffix is an -ία (-ía) abstract from λόγος (lógos) (account, explanation, narrative), and that a verbal noun from λέγω (légō) (I say, speak, converse, tell a story).  In English the suffix became extraordinarily productive, used notably to form names of sciences or disciplines of study, analogous to the names traditionally borrowed from the Latin (eg astrology from astrologia; geology from geologia) and by the late eighteenth century, the practice (despite the disapproval of the pedants) extended to terms with no connection to Greek or Latin such as those building on French or German bases (eg insectology (1766) after the French insectologie; terminology (1801) after the German Terminologie).  Within a few decades of the intrusion of modern languages, combinations emerged using English terms (eg undergroundology (1820); hatology (1837)).  In this evolution, the development may be though similar to the latter-day proliferation of “-isms” (fascism; feminism etc).  Oreology is the study of the flow and fracture of sandwich cookies and the research proved it is impossible to split the cream filling of an Oreo cookie down the middle.

An Oreo on a rheometer.

The core finding in Oreology was that the filling always adheres to one side of the wafer, no matter how quickly one or both cookies are twisted.  Using a rheometer (a laboratory instrument used to measure the way in which a viscous fluid (a liquid, suspension or slurry) flows in response to applied forces), it was determined creme distribution upon cookie separation by torsional rotation is not a function of rate of rotation, creme filling height level, or flavor, but was mostly determined by the pre-existing level of adhesion between the creme and each wafer.  The research also noted that were there changes to the composition of the filling (such as the inclusion of peanut butter) would influence the change from adhesive to cohesive failure and presumably the specifics of the peanut butter chosen (smooth, crunchy, extra-crunchy, un-salted (although the organic varieties should behave in a similar way to their mass-market equivalents)) would have some effect because the fluid dynamics would change.  The expected extent of the change would be appear to be slight but until further research is performed, this can’t be confirmed.  The 33rd First Annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony will (as a webcast) happen on Thursday 14 September 2023, at 18:00 pm (US eastern time).