Pencil

Pencil (pronounced pen-suhl)

(1) A slender tube, usually of wood, metal or plastic containing a core or strip of graphite (still referred to as lead) or a solid coloring material, sharpened to some extent, used for writing or drawing.

(2) A stick of cosmetic coloring material for use on the eyebrows, eyelids etc.

(3) Anything shaped or used like a pencil, as a stick of medicated material.

(4) In optics (from the seventeenth century), an aggregate or collection of rays of light, especially when diverging from or converging to a point.

(5) In geometry (from the nineteenth century), a set of geometric objects with a common property, such as the set of lines that pass through a given point in a projective plane.

(6) As a verb, "to pencil in", to schedule or list tentatively, as or as if by writing down in pencil rather than in more permanent ink.

(7) In animation, as "pencil-test", a first take of pictures, historically on black and white film stock, now emulated in software; also used to describe a test which assesses (1) the viability of bralessness (Western tradition) or (2) one's attainment of "real womanhood" (Chinese use).

(8) In medicine, a small medicated bougie (from the nineteenth century and now archaic).

(9) A paintbrush (from the fourteenth century and now archaic).

1350–1400: From the Middle English pencel (an artist’s fine brush of camel hair, used for painting, manuscript illustration etc), from the Anglo-Norman and Old French pincil (artist's paintbrush) from the Old & Middle French pincel from the Medieval Latin pincellus, from the Latin pēnicillum & pēnicillus (painter's brush, hair-pencil (literally "little tail"), a diminutive of pēniculus (brush), a diminutive of penis (tail).  It’s from the old French variant pincel that Modern French gained pinceau (paintbrush).  The verb pencil emerged early in the sixteenth century as pencellen (apply (gold or silver) in manuscript illustration) and by the 1530s was being used in the sense of “to mark or sketch with a pencil-brush”, extended to work undertaken with lead pencils from the 1760s.  Despite the obvious similarity, there is no relationship with the word pen.  The spelling pensill is long obsolete.  Pencil is a noun & verb, penciler is a noun, penciled is a verb, penciled is a verb & adjective and pencillike is an adjective; the noun plural is pencils.  The additional "l" (penciller, pencilled etc) is used in traditional British spelling.

The alluring catwalk combination of a "pencil-thin" model (note the shoulder-blade definition) & polka-dots.  The industry has “solved” the problem of the perception of models being “dangerously thin” by adding a token number of “plus-size” units to their DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) roster.  However, the agencies report the fashion houses still first select the slenderest.

Pencils are produced in quite a variety and specialized types include the carpenter's pencil, the wax (or china) pencil, and the color pencil although what’s more precisely defined are the technical descriptions based on the specification of the graphite (HB, 2B etc), used to rate darkness and hardness.  A propelling pencil is one with a replaceable and mechanically extendable lead that wears away with use, designed to provide lines of constant thickness without requiring sharpening and typically featuring a small eraser at the end opposite the tip.  Pencil pouches and pencil cases are containers in which one stores ones pencils and related items (pencil sharpener, eraser et al); by convention a pouch was made of a soft material while cases tended to be fashioned from some hard substance (steel, wood, plastic etc) but the terms are used loosely.  A kohl pencil (also called an eyeliner pencil) is one with a kohl core (which can be sharpened in the usual manner) used for enhancing the eyes.  The golf pencil was originally designed for golfers and was about three inches (75 mm) in length though they’re now commonly used in situations where pencil turnover is high (election booths, gambling houses etc).

School pencils are a useful way to convey important messages to children.

The "pencil skirt" is a close-fitting garment which classically was knee to calf length.  In explosives, a "pencil detonator" (also as "time pencil") is a timed fuse designed to be connected to a detonator or short length of safety fuse.  "Pencil-thin" is a term (historically one of admiration but of late also used negatively) for an especially slender woman but it can be applied to any thin object (synonymous with "stick-thin", thought a clipping of the earlier zoological reference "stick insect thin").  The phrase "power of the pencil" is from professional gambling and refers to an authority to charge a punter's gambling or other bills to the casino (the house).  The "lead in one's pencil" is slang which referencing the state of erection of one's penis; to "put the lead into one’s pencil" referred to some form of stimulation which induced such an erection (including presumably the sight of an attractive, pencil-thin woman).  To "pencil something in" is to make a tentative booking or arrangement (on the notion of being erasable as opposed to using ink which suggests permanence or something confirmed); the phrase has been in use only since 1942.  The derogatory slang "pencil-pusher" (office worker) dates from 1881; prior to that such folk had since 1820 been called "pen-drivers", the new form reflecting the arrival at scale of mass-produced pencils.  The derogatory "pencil neck" (weak person) was first noted in 1973 while "pencil dick" (a penis of a girth judged inadequate or a man with such an organ) is documented in US slang since 1962.

Lindsay Lohan in pencil skirts: The pencil skirt can be thought the companion product to the bandage dress; while a bandage dress ends usually above the knee (the more pleasing sometimes far above) a pencil skirt typically falls to the knee or is calf-length.

Technical terms for the grips with which a pencil is held.

The test pencil is a device with a small bulb or other form of illumination which lights up when an active current is detected.  Available in many voltages (the most common being 12, 24, 48 (for automotive and other low-voltage applications) and 110/120 & 220/240v), they work either by direct contact with the wire through which the current passes or (through the insulation) as a proximity device.  The "test pencil" should not be confused with the "pencil test" which is either (1) in animation, an early version of an animated scene, consisting of rough sketches that are photographed or scanned (now overtaken by technology which emulates the process in software and almost obsolete but the term is still used by graphic artists to describe conceptual sketches or rough takes), (2) in apartheid-era South Africa, a method of determining racial identity, based on how easily a pencil pushed through a person's hair could be removed and (3) a test to determine the necessity (some concede on the advisability) of wearing a bra, based on whether a pencil placed in the infra-mammary fold stays in place with no assistance (which sounds standardized but sources vary about whether the pencil test should be performed with the arms by the side or raised which can significantly affect the result.

The Pencil Test

The pencil test: In the West this photograph would be graded "fail"; in China it’s a "pass", an example of "cultural specificity".

Although it sounds a quintessentially TikTok thing and did trend in 2016, the year the Chinese version of TikTok was released, re-purposing of the pencil test by Chinese women as the “true womanhood” test actually pre-dated the platform.  Like the best trends it was quick and simple and required only the most basic piece of equipment: a pencil (although a pen would do).  The procedure was the classic pencil test used to determine the viability of bralessness but, unlike the occidental original where the pencil falling to the ground was graded a “pass”, in the oriental version, that’s a “fail”, the implement having to sit securely in place to prove one is “a real woman”.  Millions of images were uploaded to Chinese social media channels as proof the challenge had been passed; this presumably will assist in ensuring one doesn’t become a leftover woman.

The Flying Pencil

Prototype Dornier 17 V1, 1934.

One of terms of the Treaty of Versailles (1919), imposed on Germany after the World War I (1914-1918) was it was denied the right to military aviation.  Those familiar with the operations of sanctions in the twenty-first century will not be surprised that within a few years, there were significant developments in German civil aviation including gliding clubs which would provide the early training of many pilots who would subsequently join the Luftwaffe, even before the open secret of the organization’s existence formerly was acknowledged in 1935.  Additionally, under well-concealed arrangements with Moscow, German pilots underwent training in the Soviet Union, one of the many programmes in a remarkably flourishing industry of military exchanges undertaken even during periods of notable political tension.  In those years, the German aircraft industry also had its work-arounds, sometimes undertaking research, development and production in co-operation with manufacturers in other countries and sometime producing aircraft notionally for civil purposes but which could easily re-purposed for military roles.  An example was the Dornier Do 17, nicknamed the “flying pencil” in an allusion to the slender fuselage.

Battle of Britain era Dornier Do17 E, 1940.

In 1934, Dornier’s initial description of the Do 17 as a passenger plane raised a few eyebrows in air ministries around the continent but in an attempt to lend the ruse a (thin) veneer of truth, the company submitted the design to Deutsche Luft Hansa (which became the modern carrier Lufthansa), the airline admiring the speed and flying characteristics but rejecting the proposal on the reasonable grounds the flying pencil had hardly any room for passengers.  To all observers, the thing was obviously a prototype bomber and one of the fastest and most advanced in the world but to maintain the subterfuge, Dornier instead claimed it was now a “fast mail transport”.  That fooled few but so soon after the Great War, there was little appetite in Europe for confrontation so Dornier was able to continue to develop the Do 17 as a bomber, adding a glazed nose, provision for internal armament and an internal bomb bay.

Dornier Do 217 E, 1943.

The deployment as part of the Condor Legion in the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) provided valuable information in both battle tactics and the need for enhanced defensive armaments and it was these lessons which were integrated into the upgraded versions which formed a part of the Luftwaffe’s bomber and reconnaissance forces at the start of World II.  They provided useful service in the early campaigns against Poland, Norway & the Low Countries but the limitations were exposed when squadrons were confronted by the advanced eight-gun fighters of the Royal Air Force (RAF) in the Battle of Britain (July-September 1940).  However, in the absence of a better alternative, they played an important part in the early successes Germany enjoyed in the invasion of the Soviet Union but such was the rapidity of art-time technological advances that by 1942 the Do 17 was obsolescent and withdrawn from front-line service, relegated to training and other ancillary roles.  The slim frame which had in 1934 helped provide the flying pencil with its outstanding performance now became a limitation, preventing further development even as a night-fighter, the role assigned in those years to many airframes no longer suitable for daytime operations.  Its successor, the Do 217 was notably fatter in the fuselage but even it was soon rendered obsolete and by 1944 had been withdrawn from front-line service.

The extraordinary Mohammed Rafieh

A COVID-19 era Mohammed Rafieh at work in his Persian pencil place.

Mohammed Rafieh opened Medad Rafi in Tehran in 1990, specializing in color pencils, a description which is no exaggeration.  Although his stock numbers in the thousands, Mr Rafieh has no need for databases, barcodes or lists of part-numbers, having committed to memory the place of every pencil in his shop, an inventory said to include every color known to be available anywhere in the world.  Mr Rafieh's shop is located in the vast bazaar which sits between the two mosques in Tehran's district 15.  Medad (مداد) is Persian for pencil and Rafi the affectionate diminutive of Rafieh so in translation the shop is thus "Rafi's Pencils"; never has Mr Rafieh been accused of misleading advertising.

Mr Rafieh at work.

The pencil in its familiar, mass-produced form is surprisingly modern.  Quills made from bird feathers and small brushes with bristles from a variety of creatures were used long before chalk or lead pencils.  Sticks of pure graphite (commonly (if chemically inaccurately) known as "black lead") were used in England for marking writing instruments from the mid sixteenth century while the wooden enclosure was a contemporary innovation from the Continent and it seems to have been in this era the word pencil was transferred from a type of brush to the newly encapsulated "graphite writing implement".  The modern clay-graphite mix, essentially little different to that still in use, was developed in the early nineteenth century, mass-production beginning in mid century, something made possible by the availability of cheap, precision machine tools.  The inventor of the handy innovation of an eraser being attached to the end opposite the sharpened lead was granted a patent in 1858.  Some like these on pencils and some don't.

Pencil sharpeners of increasing complexity.  Unless one has specific needs, the old ways are usually the best.

The modern pencil also encouraged the development of the pencil sharpener, one of the world's most simple machines and something which really hasn't been improved upon although over the last century an extraordinary array of mechanical and electro-mechanical devices have been offered (some so wondrously complex it's suspected they existed just to flaunt the engineering although they do make fine gifts for nerds; it's likely nerds do prefer pencils to pens).  Apparently first sold commercially in 1854 (prior to than a hand-held blade of some sort would have been the usual method), some have been intriguing and imaginative designs which sometimes found their specialized niche but none sharpen a pencil better than the cheapest and most simple.  Even now, if one has paper, the creation of just about anything in theoretical physics, poetry or literature demands little equipment beyond pencil, sharpener & eraser.  

The Faber-Castell production process.

The pencil as collectable

Lot 278: Four volumes of Roget's International Thesaurus.

Pencils can be collectables if their provenance adequately is documented.  Doyle’s in New York on 18 June 2024 conducted an auction of some items from the estate of US composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim (1930–2021), attracting dealers, collectors & Sondheim devotees and Lot 278 was indicative of the strength of bidding: four (well worn) volumes of Roget's International Thesaurus.  Although one was from the first printing (June 1946), it lacked a dust jacket and came with library markings and a “Withdrawn” stamp.  None of those offered were rarities (reflected in the pre-sale estimate of US$200-300) but the hammer fell at an impressive US$25,600.  The stationery freaks (it really is quite a thing) were also in the crowd, a signed spiral notebook selling for what one commentator called “a startling US$15,360.”

Lot 275: Three boxes of Eberhard Faber Blackwing 602 pencils.  They were not cylindrical so, like a "carpenter's pencil", were less prone to rolling onto the floor.  Decades after the pencils were first produced, there would be a Cadillac Blackwing V8, a notable piece of engineering doomed by its high cost. 

What was most surprising though was the fate of Lot 275: “Three boxes of vintage Blackwing 602 pencils (Circa 1940s-1950s).  Three blue boxes printed with "Eberhard Faber/Blackwing/Feathery-Smooth Pencils, two of the boxes complete with 12 pencils, one with 8 only (together 32 pencils).  Some wear to the boxes and drying of the erasers.”  Sondheim was a devoted Blackwing user, telling one interviewer: “I use Blackwing pencils. Blackwings.  They don’t make ’em any more, and luckily, I bought a lot of boxes of ’em.  They’re very soft lead.  They’re not round, so they don’t fall off the table, and they have removable erasers, which unfortunately dry out."  The pencils sold for US$6,400 against a pre-sale estimate of US$600-800.

The pencils were an example of how critical is provenance in the collectables market.  In June 2023, Bloomfield Auctions in east Belfast, Northern Ireland, held a “specialist” sale focused “militaria, police and important Irish historical items”, one entry with a pre-sale estimate of US$65,000-100,000 being Lot 148: “An engraved, silver-plated pencil, believed to have been a 52nd birthday present (20 April 1941) from Eva Braun (1912–1945) to Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945).  On the day, the pencil sold for US$6,900.

The lower than expected price may have been the result of doubts being cast on the authenticity of the item’s claimed history.  Technically, Lot 148 was a mid-20th-century mechanical pencil, of white metal (presumably one with a high nickel content) and silver-plated, engraved along one louvered side facet with the inscription: ZUM 20 APRIL 1941 HERZLICHST EVA.  That’s an abbreviated form of phrase typically used on occasions such as birthdays, the brevity necessitated by the surface area with which the engraver had to work, the pencil only some 3¼ inches (82.5 mm) long.  Deconstructed, the sentence fragment begins with the preposition “to” and a contracted, inflected article of speech, “the” expressed in the dative case.  Zum is literally “To the...”, understood as “Upon the...”.  So, the signatory (“Eva”) is marking the occasion the birthday on 20 April 1941, the inherent formality of form what one would expect in a gift to a head of state though perhaps not one from a lover.  However, the very existence of the relationship between the Führer and the woman who later briefly would be Frau Hitler was unknown beyond his court circle and it may have been even the jeweller wasn’t to be given a hint; the exact (physical) nature of their relationship remains a mystery.  However, the word herzlichst is from the root noun Herz (heart) and as an adjective or adverb, herzlich, is often used in the sense of “heartful” or “heartfelt” which at least suggests something intimate and the –st suffix operates to create a superlative, which if literally translated (“most heartful” or “most heartfelt”) sounds in English like something which might be used ironically or cynically but there’s nothing to suggest it should be understood as anything but something like: On the occasion of the 20th April, 1941, most heartfully, Eva.

The "Hitler" Pencil top.

The provenance of the pencil however proved controversial, something not helped by the anonymity of the seller and the lack of any documentary trail which might have helped confirm the veracity of the back-story.  While one could speculate any number of the life the pencil may have led over the decades, no evidence was offered.  The sale also attracted criticism which is increasingly heard when auction houses offer any of the militaria, memorabilia and ephemera connected with Hitler or the Nazis in general.  Although such objects have for decades been collectables there’s now more resistance to the notion of profits being derived from the trade in what is, in some sense, “the commemoration of evil” and the Chairman of the European Jewish Association had called for the pencil to be withdrawn from sale, issuing a statement in which he called the auction part of a “…macabre trade in items belonging to mass murderers, the motives of those buying them are unknown and may glorify the actions of the Nazis, and lastly, their trade is an insult to the millions who perished, the few survivors left, and to Jews everywhere.”  The president of the Board of Deputies of British Jews described the sale as “…distressing, disturbing and hugely disrespectful”, arguing that even if of historical significance “…these items have no place in our country other than inside the walls of a museum or other institution where they can be used to teach about the results of anti-Semitism.”

1938 Mercedes-Benz 770K (W150) Cabriolet F, a seven passenger tourer & parade car, pictured here with the folding soft-top in sedanca de ville configuration.

There is still some tolerance for the trade in items which would otherwise anyway be collectables (such as the Mercedes-Benz 770Ks (W07 (1930-1938) & W150 (1938-1943), many of which when offered are claimed (dubiously and not) to have some association with Hitler) and for anything of genuine historical significance (such as diplomatic papers) but the circulation of mere ephemera with some Nazi link is increasingly being condemned as macabre and the higher the prices paid, the most distasteful it seems.  A spokesman for Bloomfield Auctions defended the inclusion of such items in the sale, arguing they “…preserve a piece of our past and should be treated as historical objects, no matter if the history they refer to was one of the darkest and most controversial in recorded history.”, adding “We do not seek to cause hurt or distress to any one or any part of society” and that buyers typically were “legitimate collectors who have a passion for history… all items are a part of history, and we shouldn't be writing history out of books or society.”

Pencil sculpture by Russian artist Salavat Fidai (b 1972).

Lipstick

Lipstick (pronounced lip-stik)

(1) A crayon-like oil-based cosmetic used in coloring the lips, usually in a tubular container.  Lip-gloss & lip-liner (hyphenated and not) are the companion products whereas lip balm is a non-cosmetic product to prevent drying & cracking of the skin.

(2) As “lipstick tree”, the shrub Bixa orellana, native to Mexico and northern South America.  The common name is derived from (1) the arils (tissue surrounding the seed) being the orange-red colourant annatto and (2) the texture & consistency of the arils recalling that of commercially manufactured lipstick.

(3) In slang, the canine penis.

(4) In certain LGBTQQIAAOP circles, as “lipstick lesbian”, a lesbian who displays traditional, conventional feminine characteristics (opposed to a “butch lesbian”).  Some guides to such things note (1) the term can be a slur if used in the wrong context and (2) in some sub-groups a “lipstick lesbian” is one attracted to “other feminine women”, as opposed to a “femme” (a feminine lesbian attracted to butch lesbians).  The alternative to “lipstick lesbian” is “doily dyke” but both alliterative forms should be used with care because in most contexts they are probably now at least microaggressions.

(5) In economics, as “lipstick effect”, a theory which suggests that during economic downturns, consumers display a greater propensity to purchase low cost luxury goods (such as premium lipsticks).

(6) To apply lipstick to; to paint with lipstick.

1875-1880: A coining in US English, the construct being lip + stick.  Lip was from the Middle English lippe, from the Old English lippa & lippe (lip; one of the two sides of the mouth), from the Proto-West Germanic lippjō (lip), from the Proto-Germanic lepjan & lepô, from the primitive Indo-European leb- (to hang loosely, droop, sag).  The Germanic forms were the source also of the Old Frisian lippa & West Frisian lippe, the Middle Dutch lippe, the Dutch lip, the Old High German lefs, the German Lippe & Lefze, the Swedish läpp, the Norwegian leppe and the Danish læbe.  However, some etymologists have questioned the Indo-European origin of the western European forms and the Latin labium, though it’s said they agree the Latin and Germanic words “probably are in some way related” and the Latin may be a substratum word.  The French lippe was an Old French borrowing from a Germanic source.  Stick was from the Middle English stikke (stick, rod, twig), from the Old English sticca (twig or slender branch from a tree or shrub (also “rod, peg, spoon”), from the Proto-West Germanic stikkō, from the Proto-Germanic stikkô (pierce, prick), from the primitive Indo-European verb stig, steyg & teyg- (to pierce, prick, be sharp).  It was cognate with the Old Norse stik, the Middle Dutch stecke & stec, the Old High German stehho, the German Stecken (stick, staff), the Saterland Frisian Stikke (stick) and the West Flemish stik (stick).  The word stick was applied to many long, slender objects closely or vaguely resembling twigs or sticks including by the early eighteenth century candles, dynamite by 1869, cigarettes by 1919 (the slang later extended to “death sticks” & “cancer sticks).  The first known use of “lipstick” in advertizing was in 1877 (although some sources claim this was really a “lip balm” and lipstick (in the modern understanding) didn’t appear for another three years.  “Liquid lipstick” was first sold in 1938 and by the mid 1960s variations of the substance in a variety of liquid and semi-solid forms was available in pots, palettes and novel applicators.  Lipstick is a noun & verb and lipsticking & lipsticked are verbs; the noun plural is lipsticks.

Dior Rouge Lipstick #999.

In economics, the “lipstick effect” is a theory which suggests there is an identifiable phenomenon in consumer behavior in which there’s an increased propensity to purchase small, affordable luxury goods (“designer lipsticks” the classic example) during economic downturns as an alternative to buying larger, more expensive items.  The idea is that as a consumer’s disposable income contracts, the lure of luxury goods remains so although the purchase of the $4000 handbag may be deferred, the $50 lipstick may immediately be chosen, an indulgence which to some extent satisfies the yearning.  The theory is not part of mainstream economics and has been criticized for being substantially impressionistic although more reliable data such as the volume of chocolate sold by supermarkets had been mapped against aggregate economic indicators and this does suggest sales of non-essential items can increase during periods of general austerity.

Beauty Bakerie Lip Whip Matte Liquid Lipstick in Mon Cheri.

The phrase “put lipstick on a pig” is a clipped version of “even if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig” and it means that cosmetically altering something in the hope of making it seem more appealing than it is doesn’t alter its fundamental characteristics and flaws.  It’s a saying in the vein of “you can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear”, “you can’t polish a turd”, “mutton dressed as lamb” & “old wine in a new bottle” and is often used of products which have been updated in a way which superficially makes them appear “improved” while leaving them functionally unchanged; it’s often used of cars and political platforms, both products which have often relied on spin and advertising to disguise the essential ugliness beneath the surface.  It’s been part of American political rhetoric for decades and usually passes unnoticed but did stir a brief controversy when Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017) used: “You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.” as part of his critique of the “change” theme in the campaign of John McCain (1936–2018), his Republican Party opponent in the 2008 presidential election.  The reason Mr Obama’s use attracted was that earlier, Sarah Palin (b 1964) had said during her acceptance speech as Mr McCain’s running mate: “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?  Lipstick.”  It turned out to be the best line of their lackluster campaign.  Because of her well-publicized speech and the fact Ms Palin was the only one of the four candidates on that year’s ticket actually to wear lipstick (as far as is known), it was immediately picked up as a potentially misogynistic slur.  However, the outrage lasted barely one news cycle as the fact-checkers were activated to comb the records, revealing Mr McCain the previous year had used it when deriding the abortive healthcare proposal developed by the equally doomed crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013) while installed as FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States).

Lindsay Lohan in applying red lipstick (left) and smoking a "stick" (right), from a photo-shoot by Terry Richardson (b 1965) for Love Magazine, Spring/Summer Edition, 2012.

Use turned out to be a long “across the aisle” thing. Thomas Harkin (b 1939; US senator (Democratic-Iowa) 1985-2015) applying it in 1989 to George HW Bush’s (George XLI, 1924-2018; US president 1989-1993) plan to send military aid to the El Salvador government and Ann Richards (1933–2006; governor (Democratic) of Texas 1991-1995) in 1992 added a flourish when she said of the administration’s call for the Democratic-controlled congress to move on a constitutional amendment to force the government to keep a balanced budget: “This is not another one of those deals where you put lipstick on a hog and call it a princess.”  The line received much attention and she added a new variation in 1990 when criticizing the administration for using warships to protect oil tankers in the Middle East (which she labeled a “hidden subsidy for foreign oil”): “You can put lipstick on a hog and call it Monique, but it is still a pig.”  At least in Texas, that may have achieved some resonance because in her failed 1994 gubernatorial race against George W Bush (George XLIII, b 1946; US president 2001-2009), her campaign used the slogan “Call it Monique” as a way of disparage her opponent’s proposals.  The use of “Monique” was apparently random; as far as is known there was no “Monique problem” in the White House of George XLI in the way there was a “Jennifer with a ‘J’ problem”. Commendably, Governor Richards did stick to the theme, unlike Mr Obama in 2008 who couldn’t resist a further metaphor in case his audience was too dim to understand the first, adding: “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change’.  It's still going to stink.”  That was laboring the point by gilding the lily.

Sarah Palin and Barack Obama, 2008.  Sarah Palin was wasted in politics and was a natural for Fox News and such.

Helpfully, the industry has defined the math of "perfect lips" and even more helpfully (for imperfect women), a lip pencil can be used to apply lip liner to make one's shape tend towards the perfect, providing the definition lines within which lipstick can be applied.  When using a lip pencil, a pencil sharpener is an essential accessory.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl.

People have been expressing the idea in different ways for at least centuries.  In 1732 the English physician and lay-preacher Thomas Fuller (1654–1734) published Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; wise sentences and witty saying, ancient and modern, foreign and British which included “A hog in armour is still but a hog.”  The English antiquary & lexicographer Francis Grose (circa 1725-1791) included an entry for “hog in armour” in his A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785) which he explained was “an awkward or mean looking man or woman, finely dressed.”  So, something like “mutton dressed as lamb”, a put-down rendered more cutting still by what used to be called the Fleet Street tabloids coining “mutton dressed as hogget”, a classic example of what used to be called bitchiness, a genuine red top speciality.  Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) was an English Particular Baptist preacher (with all that implies) and although most of his prodigious writing was concerned with defending his sect against the encroachments of liberal & pragmatic theology and ritual, he did publish odd secular work including The Salt-Cellars (1887), a compendium of proverbs in which he noted: “A hog in a silk waistcoat is still a hog” meant “Circumstances do not alter a man’s nature, nor even his manners.”

Dior Addict Lip Gloss Glow Oil in 007 Raspberry.

But it was pigs & lipstick which became the most common form but apparently only after the mid 1980s although the incongruity of the juxtaposition of pigs and lipstick had appealed earlier appealed to some.  In 1926 the “colorful” journalist Charles Lummis (1859-1928) had a piece in the Los Angeles Times which included: “Most of us know as much of history as a pig does of lipsticks.” but the first known appearance of the modern phrase is thought to have been in the Washington Post in 1985, quoting a San Francisco radio host who suggested plans for renovating Candlestick Park (instead of building a new downtown stadium for the Giants “…would be like putting lipstick on a pig.”  After that it’s never gone away, an anti-abortionist in 1992 quoted as saying of legislative amendments of which he did not approve: “You don't want to put lipstick on a pig” and Rick Santorum (b 1958; US senator (Republican-Pennsylvania 1995-2007) added spelled it out, telling the chamber legislative reforms to government subsidies for southern peanut and sugar farmers were the lipstick while the pig was the subsidy programme itself.  In 1998, the often lachrymose Republican John Boehner (b 1949; Speaker of the US House of Representatives 2011-2015), apparently while dry-eyed, bemoaned what he called a “rudderless Republican congress”: "When there's no agenda and there's no real direction, what happens is you really can't have a message; you can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it's still a pig.”

Lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner & lip balm

Lipstick is primarily for style, there to add color (and they are produced in just about every shade imaginable) but it also protects and to some extent hydrates the lips, indeed, some have additives for just this purpose.  The texture can be creamy, matte, satin, or glossy and lipsticks have included glitter and even a swelling agent for those who want a plumper-lipped look although it applied with some expertise, even an unadulterated lipstick can provide the visual effect of greater fullness. 

Lip Gloss can be used either as a stand-alone product or as a finisher over lipstick, somewhat analogous with a “clear coat” over paint, providing a “varnishing” effect.  What lip gloss does is add shine and often a hit of color to the lips.  As the name implies, the texture is glossy and although usually lightweight, the finish can be sticky, models often applying lip gloss sever times during a photo-shoot to ensure the luster is constant.  They’re mostly sheer or translucent, though some have shimmer or glitter added, thus they can produce a (sort-of) natural, shiny look or add visual depth to lipstick.

Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint Longwear Fluid Lip Color in Uncensored.

Lip Liners (applied with a lip pencil) are a maintenance tool.  What a lip liner does is define the edge of the lips, providing a protective barrier which prevents feathering or bleeding of lip color (ie from a lip stick or lip gloss.  Almost always matte, lip liners are essentially pencils for the lips and their use requires the same firm consistency in application that an artist adopts when putting graphite to paper.  Specialists caution it does take practice to master the art and their golden rule is “less is more”: begin with several light applications until technique is honed and arcs can be described in one go.  Done well, a lip liner can be outline the lips, fill them in for longer-lasting color and to a remarkable extent, change the appearance of their shape.

Lip Balm is only incidentally a beauty aid; they’re used to moisturize, soothe, and protects lips from dryness or chapping so are used by those playing sport, sailing rock-climbing and such.  Most are creamy and waxy, designed to endure for several hours of outdoor use (and often include a sunscreen) although some intended for those in indoor, dry-air environments (such as air-conditioned offices) are lightweight and glossy; aimed at the female market these are often flavored (mandarin, cherry, strawberry etc).  The indoor variety typically are transparent or lightly tinted and while some can be used as a base under other products, not all lipsticks or lip glosses are suitable; it depends on the composition.

Cultural practices mean “lipstick” is associated mostly with shades of red although (depending on the manufacturer) just about any color is available including some which sparkle.  Goths and emos of course like black and purple but a few manufacturers do have white in their range but it doesn’t suit everyone or every occasion.  Apart from looking remarkably like one's recent application of zinc cream just prior to spending time in the summer sun, to use white lipstick requires more than the usual attention to the surrounding colors (outfit, hair, skin tone, eyeliner et al).  Paired with dyed gray hair, white-framed spectacles or the right clothing it can work but the most dramatic contrast is of course available to those with dark skin who should probably use white lipstick as a stand-alone highlight, however tempting may be the accessories.

The "Lipstick Mark": 1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, with Lipstick and White Luxury Group in Lipstick Red with White Normande grain vinyl roof in Landau style (left) and white on white (right).

The Ford Motor Company’s Lincoln Continental Mark IV (1971-1976) was a classic “land yacht”, a class of car which was a feature of the US motoring scene of the 1960s & 1970s; it was an exemplar of the “personal luxury car”, a subset of the breed.  Although an exercise in packaging of wonderous inefficiency which today seems remarkable, the Mark IV was a great success for the corporation and was highly profitable because it was built on the same platform as the Ford Thunderbird with which it shared both a mechanical specification and a substantial part of the structure with only some panels, interior fittings and additional bits & pieces distinguishing the two.  The pair was among the industry’s most profitable lines and in 1976, Lincoln released the first of its “designer” series Mark IV’s, “trim & appearance” packages which included touches from the associated designers (Bill Blass, Cartier, Givenchy & Pucci) and to ensure those watching knew just which design house’s bling a buyer had chosen, the C-Pillar “opera window” (a much-loved affectation of the age) was etched with the signature of the relevant designer.  More profitable even than the standard line, of the 56,110 Mark IVs produced in 1976, 12,906 were one or other of the designer editions.

Extract from 1975 Lincoln Continental Mark IV brochure.

As well as the “branded” designer edition cars, beginning in 1973, Lincoln made available its LGO (Luxury Group Option), trim package which offered a color-coordinated exterior, vinyl roof, and interior with the color mix changed each season.  The Lipstick and White Luxury Group first appeared on the Continental Mark IV option list for the 1975 range but in its first season, externally, the cars exclusively were white, the choice for the “White Normande grain” (code LW) vinyl roof between a full covering of the optional “Landau” style which spread only over the rear section; there was also an alternative vinyl called “Cayman” (designed to resemble the skin of the tropical American crocodilian which is similar to an alligator).  The red was limited to the interior, the accent stripes across the button-tufted white leather upholstery (code DN), the cut-pile carpets and other fittings such as the dashboard, steering wheel and highlights on the doors.  In 1975 the package listed at US$400 but it was an era of high inflation and by 1976 this had risen to US$477; in the same season Ford offered a similar “Lipstick Luxury Group” on the Thunderbird which was listed at US$337-546 depending on the configuration.  It’s the 1976 editions which are most memorable because of the choice of red paint and for maximum effect red vinyl side moldings could be added for those who thought the ensemble otherwise too subtle.  Just how many were built (an often quoted number is 1250) isn’t known but while most seem to have opted for white paint, it’s the red ones which are most associated with the option and the shade appears closest to Dior's lipstick #744 (Party Red). 

1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Lipstick Edition.

So a 1976 Continental Mark IV with the Lipstick and White Luxury Group (known among the Lincoln cognoscenti as “The Lipstick Mark”) could be painted White (code 9D) with optional red pinstripes (code 3) or Lipstick Red (code 2U) with optional white pinstripes (code 2) and either could be paired with the red or white vinyl roof coverings.  In the brochure, like the side moldings, the custom pin stripes were “recommended”.  All that meant from the outside one’s Lipstick Mark could appear either as a typical “white on white” land yacht of the era or really make a lipstickesque statement in red & white or all red; it was a matter of what one wanted from life.  Such a splash did the Continental’s visual choices make in 1975 that for many buyers, the significant feature of four wheel disk brakes probably passed unnoticed and it's not known if Ford ever attempted (al la the Bill Blass, Cartier, Givenchy & Pucci associations) to partner with Dior or any other cosmetics house for the Lipstick edition.

1993 Rolls-Royce Corniche IV in "Ferrari Red" (“red, on red, on red”).

The Lipstick Marks must have made an impression but there was a least one person who would have found them understated because in 1991 Rolls-Royce issued a work-order (WO) for a Corniche IV Convertible (by the 1990s even Rolls-Royce no longer called such things DHCs (drophead coupé)) ordered by a customer in Switzerland who had specified a number of what the factory called “production deviations and special features”.  Stating the obvious, the theme clearly was “red” and the WO specified everything was to be finished in what was described as “Ferrari Red 9520120” and it certainly appears to emulate the Italian factory’s famous Rosso Corsa (racing red).  There may have been technical reasons why a timber like rosewood wasn’t used but the effect was achieved with the WO instruction: “Veneer to be birdseye maple to match Ferrari Red” although there must be something different about the leather used for steering wheels because the WO included the proviso: “Steering wheel to be in red hide dyed to match Ferrari Red if possible.  Otherwise St James Red”.

These days, high-end manufacturers all run “bespoke” divisions which exist to accommodate just about any billionaire’s whim within what physics and engineering permit but by the standards of the early 1990s, this “Ferrari red” Corniche was an exceptional build; the closest matches in the Dior lipstick color chart are #999 Velvet and #080 Red Smile (#754 Pandore being slightly more subdued).  The industry term used to describe the color scheme of convertibles is “paint, on upholstery, on roof”.  Between 1971-1995, the factory produced 6823 Corniches (including the equivalent Bentley model), of which 244 were the Corniche IV (1992-1995) and while not a few were “black, on black, on black” or “white, on white, on white” (the latter in the 1960s & 1970s also a favorite among Cadillac owners), this “red, on red, on red” one truly is unique, a genuine “one-of-one”.

In a promotion, the Tussy Lip Stick Company offered three 1967 Mustangs as prizes for contest winners, each finished in a shade of pink which matched the lip sticks Racy Pink, Shimmery Racy Pink Frosted & Defroster.  Defroster sounds particularly ominous but to set minds at rest, Tussy helpfully decoded the pink portfolio thus:

Racy Pink: "A pale pink".

Racy Pink Frosted: "Shimmers with pearl". 

Defroster: "Pours on melting beige lights when you wear it alone, or as a convertible top to another lip color".

The fate of the cars is unknown but nerds might note the three prizes were 1967 models while the model (as in the Mustang) in the advertisement is from the 1966 range.  That's because the advertising copy had to be made available before the embargo had been lifted on photographs of the 1967 range.  The men on Madison Avenue presumably dismissed the suggestion of what might now be thought "deceptive and misleading" content with the familiar "she'll never know".