Lipstick

Lipstick (pronounced lip-stik)

(1) A crayon-like oil-based cosmetic used in coloring the lips, usually in a tubular container.  Lip-gloss & lip-liner (hyphenated and not) are the companion products whereas lip balm is a non-cosmetic product to prevent drying & cracking of the skin.

(2) As “lipstick tree”, the shrub Bixa orellana, native to Mexico and northern South America.  The common name is derived from (1) the arils (tissue surrounding the seed) being the orange-red colourant annatto and (2) the texture & consistency of the arils recalling that of commercially manufactured lipstick.

(3) In slang, the canine penis.

(4) In certain LGBTQQIAAOP circles, as “lipstick lesbian”, a lesbian who displays traditional, conventional feminine characteristics (opposed to a “butch lesbian”).  Some guides to such things note (1) the term can be a slur if used in the wrong context and (2) in some sub-groups a “lipstick lesbian” is one attracted to “other feminine women”, as opposed to a “femme” (a feminine lesbian attracted to butch lesbians).  The alternative to “lipstick lesbian” is “doily dyke” but both alliterative forms should be used with care because in most contexts they are probably now at least microaggressions.

(5) In economics, as “lipstick effect”, a theory which suggests that during economic downturns, consumers display a greater propensity to purchase low cost luxury goods (such as premium lipsticks).

(6) To apply lipstick to; to paint with lipstick.

1875-1880: A coining in US English, the construct being lip + stick.  Lip was from the Middle English lippe, from the Old English lippa & lippe (lip; one of the two sides of the mouth), from the Proto-West Germanic lippjō (lip), from the Proto-Germanic lepjan & lepô, from the primitive Indo-European leb- (to hang loosely, droop, sag).  The Germanic forms were the source also of the Old Frisian lippa & West Frisian lippe, the Middle Dutch lippe, the Dutch lip, the Old High German lefs, the German Lippe & Lefze, the Swedish läpp, the Norwegian leppe and the Danish læbe.  However, some etymologists have questioned the Indo-European origin of the western European forms and the Latin labium, though it’s said they agree the Latin and Germanic words “probably are in some way related” and the Latin may be a substratum word.  The French lippe was an Old French borrowing from a Germanic source.  Stick was from the Middle English stikke (stick, rod, twig), from the Old English sticca (twig or slender branch from a tree or shrub (also “rod, peg, spoon”), from the Proto-West Germanic stikkō, from the Proto-Germanic stikkô (pierce, prick), from the primitive Indo-European verb stig, steyg & teyg- (to pierce, prick, be sharp).  It was cognate with the Old Norse stik, the Middle Dutch stecke & stec, the Old High German stehho, the German Stecken (stick, staff), the Saterland Frisian Stikke (stick) and the West Flemish stik (stick).  The word stick was applied to many long, slender objects closely or vaguely resembling twigs or sticks including by the early eighteenth century candles, dynamite by 1869, cigarettes by 1919 (the slang later extended to “death sticks” & “cancer sticks).  The first known use of “lipstick” in advertizing was in 1877 (although some sources claim this was really a “lip balm” and lipstick (in the modern understanding) didn’t appear for another three years.  “Liquid lipstick” was first sold in 1938 and by the mid 1960s variations of the substance in a variety of liquid and semi-solid forms was available in pots, palettes and novel applicators.  Lipstick is a noun & verb and lipsticking & lipsticked are verbs; the noun plural is lipsticks.

Dior Rouge Lipstick #999.

In economics, the “lipstick effect” is a theory which suggests there is an identifiable phenomenon in consumer behavior in which there’s an increased propensity to purchase small, affordable luxury goods (“designer lipsticks” the classic example) during economic downturns as an alternative to buying larger, more expensive items.  The idea is that as a consumer’s disposable income contracts, the lure of luxury goods remains so although the purchase of the $4000 handbag may be deferred, the $50 lipstick may immediately be chosen, an indulgence which to some extent satisfies the yearning.  The theory is not part of mainstream economics and has been criticized for being substantially impressionistic although more reliable data such as the volume of chocolate sold by supermarkets had been mapped against aggregate economic indicators and this does suggest sales of non-essential items can increase during periods of general austerity.

Beauty Bakerie Lip Whip Matte Liquid Lipstick in Mon Cheri.

The phrase “put lipstick on a pig” is a clipped version of “even if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig” and it means that cosmetically altering something in the hope of making it seem more appealing than it is doesn’t alter its fundamental characteristics and flaws.  It’s a saying in the vein of “you can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear”, “you can’t polish a turd”, “mutton dressed as lamb” & “old wine in a new bottle” and is often used of products which have been updated in a way which superficially makes them appear “improved” while leaving them functionally unchanged; it’s often used of cars and political platforms, both products which have often relied on spin and advertising to disguise the essential ugliness beneath the surface.  It’s been part of American political rhetoric for decades and usually passes unnoticed but did stir a brief controversy when Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017) used: “You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.” as part of his critique of the “change” theme in the campaign of John McCain (1936–2018), his Republican Party opponent in the 2008 presidential election.  The reason Mr Obama’s use attracted was that earlier, Sarah Palin (b 1964) had said during her acceptance speech as Mr McCain’s running mate: “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?  Lipstick.”  It turned out to be the best line of their lackluster campaign.  Because of her well-publicized speech and the fact Ms Palin was the only one of the four candidates on that year’s ticket actually to wear lipstick (as far as is known), it was immediately picked up as a potentially misogynistic slur.  However, the outrage lasted barely one news cycle as the fact-checkers were activated to comb the records, revealing Mr McCain the previous year had used it when deriding the abortive healthcare proposal developed by the equally doomed crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013) while installed as FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States).

Lindsay Lohan in applying red lipstick (left) and smoking a "stick" (right), from a photo-shoot by Terry Richardson (b 1965) for Love Magazine, Spring/Summer Edition, 2012.

Use turned out to be a long “across the aisle” thing. Thomas Harkin (b 1939; US senator (Democratic-Iowa) 1985-2015) applying it in 1989 to George HW Bush’s (George XLI, 1924-2018; US president 1989-1993) plan to send military aid to the El Salvador government and Ann Richards (1933–2006; governor (Democratic) of Texas 1991-1995) in 1992 added a flourish when she said of the administration’s call for the Democratic-controlled congress to move on a constitutional amendment to force the government to keep a balanced budget: “This is not another one of those deals where you put lipstick on a hog and call it a princess.”  The line received much attention and she added a new variation in 1990 when criticizing the administration for using warships to protect oil tankers in the Middle East (which she labeled a “hidden subsidy for foreign oil”): “You can put lipstick on a hog and call it Monique, but it is still a pig.”  At least in Texas, that may have achieved some resonance because in her failed 1994 gubernatorial race against George W Bush (George XLIII, b 1946; US president 2001-2009), her campaign used the slogan “Call it Monique” as a way of disparage her opponent’s proposals.  The use of “Monique” was apparently random; as far as is known there was no “Monique problem” in the White House of George XLI in the way there was a “Jennifer with a ‘J’ problem”. Commendably, Governor Richards did stick to the theme, unlike Mr Obama in 2008 who couldn’t resist a further metaphor in case his audience was too dim to understand the first, adding: “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change’.  It's still going to stink.”  That was laboring the point by gilding the lily.

Helpfully, the industry has defined the math of "perfect lips" and even more helpfully (for imperfect women), a lip pencil can be used to apply lip liner to make one's shape tend towards the perfect, providing the definition lines within which lipstick can be applied.  When using a lip pencil, a pencil sharpener is an essential accessory.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl.

People have been expressing the idea in different ways for at least centuries.  In 1732 the English physician and lay-preacher Thomas Fuller (1654–1734) published Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; wise sentences and witty saying, ancient and modern, foreign and British which included “A hog in armour is still but a hog.”  The English antiquary & lexicographer Francis Grose (circa 1725-1791) included an entry for “hog in armour” in his A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785) which he explained was “an awkward or mean looking man or woman, finely dressed.”  So, something like “mutton dressed as lamb”, a put-down rendered more cutting still by what used to be called the Fleet Street tabloids coining “mutton dressed as hogget”, a classic example of what used to be called bitchiness, a genuine red top speciality.  Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) was an English Particular Baptist preacher (with all that implies) and although most of his prodigious writing was concerned with defending his sect against the encroachments of liberal & pragmatic theology and ritual, he did publish odd secular work including The Salt-Cellars (1887), a compendium of proverbs in which he noted: “A hog in a silk waistcoat is still a hog” meant “Circumstances do not alter a man’s nature, nor even his manners.”

Dior Addict Lip Gloss Glow Oil in 007 Raspberry.

But it was pigs & lipstick which became the most common form but apparently only after the mid 1980s although the incongruity of the juxtaposition of pigs and lipstick had appealed earlier appealed to some.  In 1926 the “colorful” journalist Charles Lummis (1859-1928) had a piece in the Los Angeles Times which included: “Most of us know as much of history as a pig does of lipsticks.” but the first known appearance of the modern phrase is thought to have been in the Washington Post in 1985, quoting a San Francisco radio host who suggested plans for renovating Candlestick Park (instead of building a new downtown stadium for the Giants “…would be like putting lipstick on a pig.”  After that it’s never gone away, an anti-abortionist in 1992 quoted as saying of legislative amendments of which he did not approve: “You don't want to put lipstick on a pig” and Rick Santorum (b 1958; US senator (Republican-Pennsylvania 1995-2007) added spelled it out, telling the chamber legislative reforms to government subsidies for southern peanut and sugar farmers were the lipstick while the pig was the subsidy programme itself.  In 1998, the often lachrymose Republican John Boehner (b 1949; Speaker of the US House of Representatives 2011-2015), apparently while dry-eyed, bemoaned what he called a “rudderless Republican congress”: "When there's no agenda and there's no real direction, what happens is you really can't have a message; you can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it's still a pig.”

Lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner & lip balm

Lipstick is primarily for style, there to add color (and they are produced in just about every shade imaginable) but it also protects and to some extent hydrates the lips, indeed, some have additives for just this purpose.  The texture can be creamy, matte, satin, or glossy and lipsticks have included glitter and even a swelling agent for those who want a plumper-lipped look although it applied with some expertise, even an unadulterated lipstick can provide the visual effect of greater fullness. 

Lip Gloss can be used either as a stand-alone product or as a finisher over lipstick, somewhat analogous with a “clear coat” over paint, providing a “varnishing” effect.  What lip gloss does is add shine and often a hit of color to the lips.  As the name implies, the texture is glossy and although usually lightweight, the finish can be sticky, models often applying lip gloss sever times during a photo-shoot to ensure the luster is constant.  They’re mostly sheer or translucent, though some have shimmer or glitter added, thus they can produce a (sort-of) natural, shiny look or add visual depth to lipstick.

Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint Longwear Fluid Lip Color in Uncensored.

Lip Liners (applied with a lip pencil) are a maintenance tool.  What a lip liner does is define the edge of the lips, providing a protective barrier which prevents feathering or bleeding of lip color (ie from a lip stick or lip gloss.  Almost always matte, lip liners are essentially pencils for the lips and their use requires the same firm consistency in application that an artist adopts when putting graphite to paper.  Specialists caution it does take practice to master the art and their golden rule is “less is more”: begin with several light applications until technique is honed and arcs can be described in one go.  Done well, a lip liner can be outline the lips, fill them in for longer-lasting color and to a remarkable extent, change the appearance of their shape.

Lip Balm is only incidentally a beauty aid; they’re used to moisturize, soothe, and protects lips from dryness or chapping so are used by those playing sport, sailing rock-climbing and such.  Most are creamy and waxy, designed to endure for several hours of outdoor use (and often include a sunscreen) although some intended for those in indoor, dry-air environments (such as air-conditioned offices) are lightweight and glossy; aimed at the female market these are often flavored (mandarin, cherry, strawberry etc).  The indoor variety typically are transparent or lightly tinted and while some can be used as a base under other products, not all lipsticks or lip glosses are suitable; it depends on the composition.

1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Lipstick Edition.

The Ford Motor Company’s Lincoln Continental Mark IV (1971-1976) was a classic “land yacht”, a class of car which was a feature of the US motoring scene of the 1960s & 1970s; it was an exemplar of the “personal luxury car”, a subset of the breed.  Although an exercise in packaging inefficiency which today seems remarkable, the Mark IV was a great success for the corporation and was highly profitable because it was built on the same platform as the Ford Thunderbird with which it shared both a mechanical specification and a substantial part of the structure with only some panels, interior fittings and additional bits & pieces distinguishing the two.  The pair was among the industry’s most profitable lines and in 1976, Lincoln released the first of its “designer” series Mark IV’s, “trim & appearance” packages which included touches from the associated designers (Bill Blass, Cartier, Givenchy & Pucci) and to ensure those watching knew just which design house’s bling a buyer had chosen, the C-Pillar “opera window” (a much-loved affectation of the age) was etched with the signature of the relevant designer.  More profitable even than the standard line, of the 56,110 Mark IVs produced in 1976, 12,906 were one or other of the designer editions.

1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Lipstick Edition.

As well as the “branded” designer edition cars, beginning in 1973, Lincoln made available its LGO (Luxury Group Option), trim package which offered a color-coordinated exterior, vinyl roof, and interior with the color mix changed each season.  For 1976, the theme was “lipstick” and the “Lipstick Edition” was available in either white (with lipstick red coach-lines) or lipstick red (with white coach-lines); all interiors featured button-tufted white leather upholstery with red accent stripes.  A quirk of the Lipstick cars was there were two choices of material for the vinyl roof, one called “Cayman” (designed to resemble alligator skin) and the other the familiar padded top which covered only the rear portion of the roof and buyers could have either red or white material.  Red or white, the Lipstick cars were distinctive machines but the white cars were apparently the more popular and estimates vary greatly of how of the approximately 1,250 Lipstick Editions were red, the shade of which appeared to be close to Dior's lipstick #744 (Party Red).

Sarah Palin and Barack Obama, 2008.  Sarah Palin was wasted in politics and was a natural for Fox News and such.

Squoval

Squoval (pronounced sqwoh-vuhl)

(1) In cosmetology, a description applied mostly to describe the shape of certain fingernails and faces; essentially an oblong (a rectangle with partially ovoid shorter sides).

(2) In commerce, a trademark of the bicycle company Cervélo, describing the cross sectional shape of the downtube used in frame construction.

1984: A portmanteau word, sq(uare)- + oval.  Square was from the Middle English square, sqware & squyre from the Old French esquarre & esquerre, (which survives in modern French as équerre), from the Vulgar Latin exquadra, derived from the Latin quadro, from quadrus (square), from quattuor (four).  Oval was from the Late Latin ovalis, from ovum (egg); it was cognate with the French and Italian ovale and the Dutch ovaal.  Used both as noun and adjective, coinage is credited to Paula Gilmore, a noted manicurist (nail technician) and owner of Tips Nail Salon in San Mateo, California.  Squoval is a noun & verb, squovaled & squovaled are verbs and squovallike is an adjective; the noun plural is squovals.

Art of the fingernail

A pleasing creation, sqoval is misleading because it’s used to reference a shape which is actually a rectangle with the shorter sides defined by curves which tend to the semi-circular.  In geometry, such a shape is called a stadium, discorectangle or an obround.  It’s not to be confused with a square with rounded corners which, despite frequent use, is neither a "quartic" nor a "sqound".  A quartic is “an algebraic equation or function of the fourth degree or a curve describing such an equation or function” and sqound (a portmanteau word, the construct being sq(uare) + (r)ound is the ultimate niche word, the only known use by collectors of C4 Chevrolet Corvettes (1984-1996) describing the shift in 1990 from round to "square with rounded corners" taillights.  Mathematicians insist the correct word for a "square with rounded corners" is "squircle" (in algebraic geometry "a closed quartic curve having properties intermediate between those of a square and a circle").  The construct of squircle is squ(are) +c(ircle).  Few etymologists (and certainly no lexicographers) appear to have listed sqound as a "real" word but it's of interest because it's a rare example of a word where a "q" is not followed by a "u"; such constructs do exist but usually in the cases where initialisms have become acronyms such as Qantas (Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services).  Such words do appear in English language texts but they tend to be foreign borrowings including (1) qat (or khat) (a plant native to East Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, often chewed for its stimulant effects, (2) qi (a term from Chinese philosophy referring to life force or energy), qibla (the direction Muslims face when praying, towards the Kaaba in Mecca and (4) qiviut (the soft under-wool of the musk-ox, valued when making warm clothing).  

Squoval is thus a commercial descriptor in the fingernail business rather than a precise geometric description.  The basic rectangle metaphor is important in fingernail shaping because manicurists borrow from art and architecture the golden ratio which suggests humans find most aesthetically pleasing, shapes with an aspect ratio of about 1.6:1 which, coincidentally, is the relationship between a kilometre and a mile.  Nails can be shaped beyond the nominally perfect 1.6:1 but tend either to be thought exaggerated or created purely for artistic display, often to create a large surface for designs.  Manicurists, certainly in the Instagram age, are an imaginative profession and there’s been a proliferation of terms to describe species.  However, within the fingernail family, there are eight basic genera, practitioners inventing or classifying species as they emerge.  To date, the lipstick is the only widely-used form which is asymmetric.

The classic oval is said to be a symmetrical ellipse where the curve of the tip exactly mirrors the curve of the cuticle but, in real-world conditions, the former usually only tends to the latter.  The shape is natural, flattering and adaptable to both long and short nails.

Long coffins.

A natural coffin demands long nails with the fragility that implies.  The nail needs to be sufficiently long so both sides can be filed to a tapered point something like a stiletto before the tip is squared-off.  Because of that, they’re often constructed with acrylics.  Coffin in this context is actually a modern appropriation to describe what was historically known as the ballerina, a descriptor some European fashion houses still prefer but the Instagram generation has moved on and like coffin.  Coffins are rare worn in the elongated form.

Square nails provide a shape which is less susceptible to damage than many but doesn’t suit all shapes.  It’s best adopted by those with a narrow nail bed because the flat tip creates an optical illusion of additional width, making nails appear wider than they are.  Rarely seen variations include the cut out (a twin-peaked effect), the lipstick (uniquely, with an asymmetric tip) and the trapeze or flare (where the metaphor is the bell-bottom trouser leg).

A statement shape, something of a triumph of style over functionally, the stiletto gains its dramatic effect from long and slender lines and can be shaped with either fully-tapered or partially square sides.  They’re vulnerable to damage, breaking when subjected to even slight impacts and almost never possible with natural growth.  True obsessives insist they should be worn only with stiletto heels and then only if the colors exactly match.

Squovals in Dior 999.

With straight sides and a curved top, the squoval, while not as dramatic as a coffin, is good, functional engineering because its softer edges are less prone to snagging and tearing than those of a square and break less the more more delicate almonds.  Technically, the squoval is just a species of the square but its popularity meant it came to be classified as its own genus.

Usually very long, the almond has an elongated shape and a tapered tip.  Even when applied to nails with a narrow bed, they’re inherently weak at the tip so most are constructed from acrylics.  It’s a style which attracts many variations on the theme, often tending to a truer emulation of the nut at which point some should probably be classified as pointed.

Realistically, pointed nails, certainly in their more extreme iterations (sometimes called mountain peaks, edges, arrow-heads, claws or talons), are more for short-term effect than anything permanent.  Best used with acrylics, the knife-like style can be a danger to the nail itself and any nearby skin or stockings.  Those contemplating intimacy with a women packing these should first ponder the implications.

Lindsay Lohan with rounds, 2006

Rounds are less a style than a detailing of the natural human shape.  Usually worn short and simple and rarely needing an acrylic overlay, it’s a classic look with the added benefit of durability and low maintenance.

Spat

Spat (pronounced spat)

(1) A petty quarrel; a dispute.

(2) A light blow; a slap or smack (now rare).

(3) A classic footwear accessory for outdoor wear (technically an ankle-length gaiter), covering the instep and ankle, designed to protect these areas from mud & stones etc which might be splattered (almost always in the plural).

(4) In automotive design, a piece of bodywork on a car's fender encapsulating the aperture of the wheel-arch, covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre (almost always on the rear) and used variously to reduce drag or as a aesthetic choice.  In the US, these tend to be called "fender skirts".

(5) In aviation, on aircraft with fixed undercarriages, a partial enclosure covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre, designed to reduce drag.

(6) In zoology, a larval oyster or similar bivalve mollusc, applied particularly when one settles to the sea bottom and starts to develop a shell; young oysters collectively, especially seed oysters.

1350-1400: From the Middle English spat (argument, minor scuffle), from the Anglo-Norman spat, of unknown origin but presumed related either to (1) being the simple past tense & past participle of spit or (2) something vaguely imitative of the sound of a dispute in progress.  In use, a spat implies a dispute which is minor and brief.  That doesn’t preclude violence being involved but the word does tend to be applied to matters with few serious consequences but a spat can of course escalate to something severe at which point it ceases to be a spat and becomes a brawl, a fight, a murder, a massacre or whatever the circumstances suggest is appropriate.  Otherwise, a spat is synonymous with words like bickering, brouhaha, disagreement, discord, falling-out, feud, squabble, tiff or argument.

As a descriptor of the short gaiter covering the ankle (which except in technical and commercial use is used only in the plural), use dates from 1779 as an invention of American English and a shortening of the trade-terms spatterdash (or splatterguard) (long gaiter to keep trousers or stockings from being spattered with mud), the construct being spatter + dash (or guard), the former the same idea as the noun dashboard which was a timber construction attached to the front of horse-drawn carriages to protect the passengers from mud or stones thrown up when the beasts were at a dash.  In cars, the use of the term dashboard persisted although the device both shifted rearward (aligned with the cowl (scuttle) & windscreen) and changed in function.  In aircraft where the link to horse-drawn transport didn’t exist, the preferred equivalent term became “instrument panel”.

Stanley Melbourne Bruce (front row, second from left) in spats, official photograph of his first cabinet, Melbourne, 1923.

Spats date from a time when walking in cities could be a messy business, paved surfaces far from universal.  As asphalt and concrete became commonplace in the twentieth century, spats fell from frequent use though there were those who clung to them as a fashion accessory.  Stanley Melbourne Bruce (1883–1967; prime minister of Australia 1923-1929) liked spats and wore them as late as the 1940s but historians of fashion note it's said nothing was more influential in their demise than George V (1865–1936; King of the United Kingdom 1910-1936) eschewing them after 1926.

However, despite losing the imprimatur of the House of Windsor (ex Saxe-Coburg and Gotha), when Disney in 1947 created Scrooge McDuck (the world's richest duck, noted for diving into his vast "money bin" to swim among the cash), spats must still have been associated with wealth and uncle Scrooge has almost always been depicted sporting a pair.

Spats (left) and gaiters (centre & right).  Historically, gaiters were either medium (mid-calf) or long (reaching to the knee) while the shorter variations, extending from ankle to instep, were known as spats.  In the fashion industry, the terms gaiters and spats are often used interchangeably and except among the equestrian and other horse-oriented crowds, they now exist only as a fashion item, improvements in the built-environment meaning the need for them as functional devices has diminished.  They days, spats tend to be seen only in places like the Royal Enclosure at Ascot or smart weddings (used as a wealth or class signifier) although variations are still part of some ceremonial full-dress military uniforms.  Technically, a spat probably can be called a “short” or “ankle-length” gaiter but it’s wise to use “spat” because gaiters are understood as extending higher towards the knee.

Lindsay Lohan in SCRAM bracelet (left), the SCRAM (centre) and Chanel's response from their Spring 2007 collection (right).

Spats for the twenty-first century: Before Lindsay Lohan began her “descent into respectability” (a quote from the equally admirable Mandy Rice-Davies (1944-2004) of MRDA fame), Lindsay Lohan inadvertently became of the internet’s early influencers when she for a time wore a court-ordered ankle monitor (often called “bracelets” which etymologically is dubious but rarely has English been noted for its purity).  At the time, many subject to such orders often concealed them under clothing but Ms Lohan made her SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor) a fashion statement, something that compelled the paparazzi to adjust their focal length to ensure her ankle of interest appeared in shots.  The industry responded with its usual alacrity and “ankle monitor” purses were soon being strutted down the catwalks.

Chanel's boot-mounted ankle purse in matching quilted black leather.

In one of several examples of this instance of Lohanic influence on design, in their Spring 2007 collection, Chanel included a range of ankle bags.  Functional to the extent of affording the wearing a hands-free experience and storage for perhaps a lipstick, gloss and credit card (and the modern young spinster should seldom need more), the range was said quickly to "sell-out" although the concept hasn't been seen in subsequent collections so analysts of such things should make of that what they will.  Chanel offered the same idea in a boot, a design actually borrowed from the military although they tended to be more commodious and, being often used by aircrew, easily accessible while in a seated position, the sealable flap on the outer calf, close to the knee.

On the Jaguar 2.4 & 3.4 (1955-1959, top row; later retrospectively named Mark 1), full-sized spats were standard equipment when the standard wheels were fitted but some owners used the cut-down versions (available in at least two designs) fitted when the optional wire wheels were chosen.  For use in competition, almost all drivers removed the spats.  The Mark 2 (bottom row;1959-1969) was never fitted with the full-size units but many used slimmer version available from both the factory and third-party suppliers; again, in competition, spats in any shape were usually discarded.  On the big Jaguars, spats (which had already been scalloped) disappeared after production of the Mark IX ended in 1961.    

On cars, it wasn’t until the 1930s that spats (which some English manufacturers called "aprons" and in the US they came to be called “fender-skirts” though the original slang was “pants”) began to appear as the interest in streamlining and aerodynamic efficiency grew and it was in this era they became also a styling fad which, for better and worse, would last half a century.  They’d first been seen in the 1920s as aerodynamic enhancements on speed record vehicles and some avant-garde designers experimented with enveloping bodywork but it was only late in the decade that the original style of separate mudguards (later called cycle-fenders) gave way to more integrated coachwork where the wheel-arch was an identifiable feature in the modern sense.  Another issue was that the early tyres were prone to wear and damage and needed frequently to be changed, hence the advantage of making access to the wheels un-restricted.  In the 1930s, as streamlining evolved as both a means to reduce drag (thus increasing performance and reducing fuel consumption) and as a styling device, the latter doubtlessly influenced by the former.  On road cars, spats tended to be used only at the rear because of the need to provide sufficient clearance for the front wheels to turn although there were manufacturers (Delahaye, Nash and others) which extended use to the front and while this necessitated compromise (notably the turning circle and cooling of the brakes), there were some memorable art-deco creations.

The aerodynamic advantages were certainly real, attested by the tests conducted during the 1930s by Mercedes-Benz and Auto-Union, both factories using spats front and rear on their land-speed record vehicles, extending the use to road cars although later Mercedes-Benz would admit the 10% improvement claimed for the 1937 540K Autobahn-kurier (highway cruiser) was just “a calculation” and it’s suspected even this was more guesswork than math.  Later, Jaguar’s evaluation of the ideal configuration to use when testing the 1949 XK120 on Belgium roads revealed the rear spats added about 3-4 mph to top speed though they precluded the use of the lighter wire wheels and did increase the tendency of the brakes to overheat in severe use so, like many things in engineering, it was a trade-off.

1958, 1959 & 1960 Chevrolet Impalas.  Not actually wildly popular when new, accessory spats now often appear on restored cars as a “period accessory”.

In the post-war years, concerns with style rather than specific aerodynamic outcomes probably prevailed.  In the US especially, the design motifs borrowed from aircraft and missiles (where aerodynamic efficiency was important and verified in wind tunnels) were liberally applied to automobiles but in some cases, although they actually increased drag, they anyway appeared on production cars because they lent the desired look.  Because they added to the cost of production, spats tended often to be used on the more expensive ranges, this association encouraging after-market accessory makers to produce them, often for models where they’d never been available as a factory fitting or option.  Although now usually regarded as naff (at least), there’s still some demand because they are fitted sometimes (often in conjunction with that other acquired taste period-accessory, the "Continental" spare-tyre kit) by those restoring cars from the era although the photographic record does suggest that when the vehicles were new, such things were vanishingly rare.

Spats vanished from cars made in the UK and Europe except among manufacturers (such as Citroën) which made a fetish of conspicuous aerodynamics and in the US, where they endured, increasingly they appeared in cut-down form, exposing most of the wheel with only the upper part of the tyre concealed.  By the mid 1990s spats appeared only on some of the larger US cars (those by then also down-sized from their mid-seventies peak) and none survived into the new century, the swansong the 1996 Cadillac DeVille.  However, the new age of efficiency did see a resurgence of interest with spats (some actually integrated into the bodywork rather than being detachable) used on some electric and hybrid vehicles where every possible way of optimizing the use of energy is deployed.

1 1937 Mercedes-Benz 540K Autobahn-kurier
2 1937 Mercedes-Benz W125 Rekordwagen
3 1937 Auto-Union Type C Stromlinie
4 1939 Mercedes-Benz W154 Rekordwagen
5 1939 Mercedes-Benz T80 Rekordwagen
6 1940 Mercedes-Benz 770K Cabriolet B
9 1970 Porsche 917 LH
8 1988 Jaguar XJR9

1939 Mercedes-Benz T80, Mercedes-Benz Museum, Stuttgart, Germany.

Designed by Ferdinand Porsche (1875–1951), the Mercedes-Benz T80 was built between 1937-1939 to lay siege to the world land speed record (LSR) but with the outbreak of World War II (1939-1945), the attempt was never made.  It was a single-purpose machine designed to achieve maximum terminal velocity and for that reason, the T80 was an exercise in pure functionalism; not one nut or bolt was used other than for the purpose of ensuring its top speed would be as high as possible.  Cognizant of the existing record, the initial goal was 550 km/h (342 mph) but as others in the late 1930s raised the mark, so were Professor Porsche’s ambitions and when the final specification was set in 1939, the target was 650 km/h (404 mph) (not 750 km/h (466 mph) as is sometimes quoted).  Configured with six wheels, the T80 would have used a supercharged, fuel-injected, 44.5 litre (2716 cubic inch) Daimler-Benz DB 603 inverted V12 aero-engine, an enlarged version of the DB 601 which powered a number of Messerschmitts and other warplanes.  Intended for use in bombers, the T80’s engine was actually the third DB 603 prototype and was initially tuned to generate some 2237 kW (3000 horsepower) on an exotic cocktail of methyl alcohol (63%), benzene (16%), ethanol (12%), acetone (4.4%), nitrobenzene (2.2%), avgas (2%), and ether (0.4%) with MW (methanol-water) injection for charge cooling and as an anti-detonant.  This was more than twice the output of the Hurricanes, Spitfires and Messerschmitts which in 1940 fought the Battle of Britain but Porsche’s calculations suggested 2,574 kW (3,500 hp) would be needed to touch the 650 km/h target and the DB 603 would have been re-tuned to achieve this as an “emergency war rating”.

1939 Mercedes-Benz T80, Mercedes-Benz Museum, Stuttgart, Germany.

Some 8 metres (26 feet) in length with two of the three axles providing drive, the weight when fuelled and crewed was some 2600 kg (2.9 short tons) while the measured coefficient of drag (CD) was reported at 0.18, an impressive figure for such a thing as late as the 1990s and it would have been lower still, had wind-tunnel testing not revealed the need to add two small “winglets” to provide sufficient down-force to ensure the shape didn’t at speed assume the characteristics of an aeroplane and "try to take off" and notably, when in 1964 the Bluebird-Proteus CN7 set the flying mile record at 403.1 mph (648.7 km/h), it was the first LSR machine to include “ground effect” technology to reduce lift.  Fundamentally, the aerodynamics are thought sound although there would be the usual vulnerability to cross-winds, the cause of several deaths in such attempts and the surface conditions of what was a temporarily closed public road would also have been critical; whether the tyre technology of the time would have been adequate under such conditions will never be known.  Had the T80 been run on the long, flat straights of the salt flats in the US (Bonneville) or Australia (Lake Eyre), the prospects of success would have been better but for propaganda purposes (always a theme for the Nazis) the LSR runs had to be on German soil.

Bluebird-Proteus CN7, Lake Eyre, Australia, 1964.

The plan was for the attempt to be staged in January 1940 during what the regime dubbed RekordWoche (Record Week) on a section of the Berlin-Halle-Leipzig autobahn (now part of the A9), closed for the occasion.  The legend is that Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) himself choose the nickname Schwarzer Vogel (Black Bird) but that too may have been propaganda.  The design was all done in the era of slide rules and although some computer work has been applied to emulating the event, there’s no consensus on whether the T80 really would have hit 650 km/h and set the world land speed record (LSR).  As it was, it wasn't until November 1965 that the 650 km/h mark was reached by a machine powered by four fuel injected Chrysler 426 cubic inch (7.0 litre) hemi V8s.  On the Bonneville Salt Flats, it recorded a two-way average of 658.526 km/h (409.277 mph).

Ground effects: 1970 Chaparral 2J (the "sucker car"). 

The most extraordinary vindication of the concept was probably the 1970 Chaparral 2J, built for the Canadian-American Challenge Cup (the Can-Am, a series for unlimited displacement sports cars under the FIA’s minimalist Group 7 rules).  Although using a similar frame and power-plant (the all aluminum, 427 cubic inch (7.0 litre) Chevrolet V8 (ZL1)) as most of its competition, it differed in that the bodywork was rather more rectilinear, the transmission was semi-automatic and, most intriguingly, the use of two small auxiliary engines (Rockwell JLO 247 cm³ two-stroke, two-cylinder units which usually powered snowmobiles).  Unlike the auxiliary engines used in modern hybrids which provide additional or alternative power, what the Rockwells did was drive two fans (borrowed from the M-109 Howitzer, the US Army’s self-propelled 155 mm (6 inch) cannon) which pumped air from underneath at 9650 cfm (cubic feet per minute) (273 m3 per minute), literally sucking the 2J to the road, the technique enhanced by a Lexan (a thermoplastic polymer) skirt which partially sealed the gap between the shell and the road.  The rear spats (integrated into the body-shell) were part of the system, offering not only their usual contribution to reduced drag but increasing the extent of the suction generated by the extractor fans.  The 2J was immediately faster than the competition but the suction system proved fragile although, as a proof of concept it worked and it was clear that only development was needed to debug things.  Unfortunately, innovation and high speeds have always appalled the FIA (the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile which has for decades been international sport’s dopiest regulatory body) and they banned the 2J.  Really, the FIA should give up on motorsport and offer their services to competitive crochet where they can focus on things like pins and needles not being too sharp.

1949 Delahaye 175-S Saoutchik roadster (left), 1967 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special  (centre) & 2016 Rolls-Royce Vision Next 100 (electric) (right).

Fashions change and spats in the post-war years became unfashionable except in the odd market segment which appealed to an older demographic and even there, as the years were by, they were cut-away, revealing more of the wheel & tyre but they never entirely went away and designers with big computers now don’t even need even bigger wind tunnels to optimize airflow and spats have been displayed which are mounted vertically, some even responding to dynamic need by shifting location or direction.

Flown first in 1938 and named after the Spartan admiral Lysander (circa 467-395 BC), the Westland Lysander was a British army co-operation and communications aircraft used extensively during the Second World War (1939-1945).  Although it couldn’t match the extraordinary STOL (short Take-Off & Landing) performance of the its German contemporary the Fieseler Fi 156 Storch, it was capable, robust and had a good enough short-field capability to perform valuable service throughout the conflict.  Like many aircraft with a fixed undercarriage, partially enveloping spats were fitted to reduce drag but those on the Lysander had the unusual feature of being fitted with their own removable spats (similar to those used on automobiles).  Once these were dismounted, assemblies could be fitted to mount either Browning machine guns or stub wings which could carry light bombs or supply canisters.  The arrangement was popular with ground crew because the accessibility made servicing easy and pilots appreciated the low placement because the change in weight distribution had little adverse effect on handling characteristics.