Nipple

Nipple (pronounced nip-uhl)

(1) In anatomy, the small, conical projection near the center of the areola of each mammary gland (breast); also called mamilla, papilla or teat.  In females, the nipple contains the outlets of the milk ducts.

(2) Something resembling (often in scaled-up form) a female’s nipple, as the mouthpiece of a nursing bottle or pacifier (in some places an informal word for a pacifier).

(3) Any device resembling a nipple in shape or function.

(4) A mechanical device through which liquids or gases can be passed in a regulated manner; as grease nipple a small drilled bush, usually screwed into a bearing (or other component needing periodic replenishment of a greasing agent) through which grease is introduced.

(5) In plumbing & gas-fitting, a short piece of pipe with threads on each end, used for joining valves.

(6) Any small physical protrusion on an automotive, a machine part or any other part that fits into a groove on another part (now rare).

(7) In computer (hardware) slang, the pointing device in the centre of the keyboard of certain laptops, partially fulfilling the functionality of a mouse, trackball or track-pad (although some (male) users insist it is called “the clit”).

(8) In pre-modern ballistics, a perforated segment that fits into part of the breech of a muzzle-loading gun, on which the percussion cap is fixed.

(9) In the design of bicycles, an internally threaded piece which holds a bicycle spoke in place on the rim.

(10) To fit (a baby's bottle etc) with a nipple (archaic).

(11) To give one's nipple to (a baby) to allow breastfeeding (archaic).

1520–1530: From the Middle English nipple, from the earlier neble, nibble, nible & nepil (all of which may be derived from nib & neb (tip; point).  The Old English nypel (elephant’s trunk) was formed analogously as “a protuberance from one's neb”.  The late twelfth century pap & pappe (nipple of a woman's breast) was first attested in Northern and Midlands writing, probably from a Scandinavian source (there’s no record in the Old Norse but there was the dialectal Swedish pappe), from the primitive Indo-European imitative root pap- (to swell), the source also of the Latin papilla (nipple) which may have influenced the English papula (a swelling, pimple) and the Lithuanian papas (nipple).  The spellings neple, nypil, nyppell, neapel, neaple, neble and all obsolete.  Nipple is a noun & verb, nippling is a verb and nippleless & nippled are adjectives; the noun plural is nipples.

One extinct verb which, perhaps surprisingly, wasn’t revived even after it became apparent trends of use on the internet suggested it might be helpful, was expapillate (bare the breasts to the nipples), identified by the outstandingly good Online Etymology Dictionary as an entry in an early English "dictionary", published in eleven editions between 1623 and the 1650s.  The book was neither a prescriptive or descriptive work encompassing the whole language but was described as “An Interpreter of Hard English Words”, an approach others later took including Wilfred Funk (1883–1965) in his Word Origins and Their Romantic Stories (1950), the idea being to focus on the less known or more obscure.  The construct of expapillate was ex- + papillate.  The ex- prefix was from the Middle English, from words borrowed from the Middle French, from the Latin ex (out of, from), from the primitive Indo-European eǵ- & eǵs- (out).  It was cognate with the Ancient Greek ἐξ (ex) (out of, from), the Transalpine Gaulish ex- (out), the Old Irish ess- (out), the Old Church Slavonic изъ (izŭ) (out) & the Russian из (iz) (from, out of).  The “x” in “ex-“, sometimes is elided before certain constants, reduced to e- (eg ejaculate).  The Latin papillate was the vocative masculine singular of papillātus (having nipples or buds; shaped like a nipple or bud) and was used in English as a transitive verb (to cover with papillae) and intransitive verb (to take the form of a papilla, or of papillae).

In 1974, The British Medical Journal (BMJ) used the term "guitar nipple" to describe "the irritation to the breast that can occur from the pressure of the guitar against the body."  That was indicative of the trend in the English-speaking world for newly-identified (and sometimes novel) conditions to be constructed with English elements, rather than the Latin historically used.  In the same spirit, two years later a contributor to the JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) was more imaginative still, coining "hot pants syndrome" when documenting cases in which a burn to the skin had been induced by a patient carrying a battery-powered transistor radio in the pocket of their trousers.  There was also in 1978 the New England Journal of Medicine's (NEJM) "disco digit" which referred to "a sore or infected finger caused by too much finger snapping while dancing."    

Jaguar tool kit supplied with 1966 E-Type (XKE, 1961-1974).  The grease gun (left) was used to force grease into various components through grease nipples.  This was a regular part of automobile maintenance until recent decades and is still a feature of the servicing schedules of heavy vehicles and machinery.

Until the 1970s, it was common for cars to need periodic “greasing” of certain components, a process which involved attaching a “grease gun” to a “grease nipple” which permanently was mounted on the relevant part; manually, the gun (usually a type of plunger) was used to force grease through the nipple.  This was undertaken either by owners, chauffeurs or mechanics at service stations who routinely would perform an “oil and grease” which included (all or some of): changing the engine, gearbox & differential oil, replacing the filter(s) and greasing all required grease points.  On more expensive vehicles, “one-shot lubrication” systems (known also as CLS (centralized lubrication systems) & ALS (automated lubrication systems)) were introduced during the 1920s, the technology adapted from the hardware used in aviation.  Although some attempts were made to create wholly automated systems, the most widely used were those which incorporated a foot pump for the driver to press at specified intervals; this action forced grease from a central reservoir to the required points.  Being a sealed system, this meant that nowhere in the system were grease nipples required (although some often still were included in components which demanded less frequent attention or were of a design which made their inclusion in the CLS plumbing too difficult.  ALS systems remain common in many places including heavy machinery, ships and the industrial plant used in factories, power plants etc.

The standard grease nipple used on the Jaguar E-Type (XKE) (left) and a diagram with a legend listing the E-Type's oil, brake fluid, transmission fluid and grease nipple locations.  The grease nipples are indicated by the obelus (†).  In automobiles, by the 1970s the need for multiple grease points or one-shot lubrication had begun to be eliminated (although some older designs maintained the legacy for decades) as advances in metallurgy and lubrication technology permitted the development of sealed, maintenance-free components which are “packed with grease" and thus “lubricated for life”.  However, for heavy-duty machines such as trucks and earth-moving equipment operating in adverse conditions, there are often still components demanding regular greasing and thus grease nipples are still a thing.

Also a thing is the “nipple orgasm”, at least for those for whom a nipple is a “hardwired erogenous zone” responsive to stimulation; that's a sub-set of the population and there are probably no reliable estimates of the prevalence.  Although in humans orgasms are typically thought an ejaculative, vaginal or clitoral phenomenon, sexologists list more than a dozen types, varying in instance or intensity based on the individual, the circumstances and sensitivity to stimulation.  When warming to the topic, these specialists will also discuss the details of “energetic orgasms” (which can, without physical touch, be triggered by meditation or fantasy) and “sleep orgasms”, said to have been experienced by an “estimated” 37% of women and 83% of men.  Quite how those numbers were obtained isn’t clear but helpfully, in 2011, New Jersey-based neuroscientist, psychotherapist & sex therapist Dr Nan Wise (b 1967) undertook a study to reveal how nipple stimulation affects the brain.  What Dr Wise wanted to build on was the existing understanding “…the clitoris, vagina and cervix are mapped on the genital sensory cortex”, something which sits between the brain’s two hemispheres and which she labels “hedonistic pleasure zone” or, more illustratively “the crotch of the brain”.

What Dr Wise did was have the study’s subjects stimulated with various mental fantasies while in an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) machine, allowing her team to observe how distinct parts of the brain responded to various experiences.  The results were generally in line with expectations except that nipple stimulation proved an outlier.  While her hypothesis had been there would have been activity in the brain region associated with chest sensation (the theory being nipple orgasms might occur because stimulation of the organ releases oxytocin, a hormone that can cause uterine contractions, potentially leading to vaginal orgasm), instead it was found nipple stimulation activated the genital sensory cortex itself, leading Dr Wise to conclude: “The nipples are a hardwired erogenous zone, like the genitals, when nipples are stimulated, the brain gets activated, and regions processing the sensation communicate with those responsible for pleasure.”  This tied in with one of the accepted dictums in neuroscience: “neurons that fire together wire together” and the study’s findings do seem to suggest it is plausible there exists a neural pathway between the nipples and the genitals.  Sexologists however caution individual responses will vary and techniques which produce pleasing results for one will induce no response in others.  So, YMMV (your mileage many vary) and the sexologists recommend experimentation.

The SKIMS Nipple Bra

Wearing it well: Kim Kardashian in SKIMS "nipple bra"

The admirable (and much admired) Kim Kardashian (b 1980) in October 2023 announced the latest addition to her SKIMS product line: a bra with “built in” nipples, designed to be prominent enough obviously to protrude through clothing.  Said to offer the “ultimate shock factor” (although after the shocks of the last decade-odd, some of which those associated with Kardashian clan have instigated, that may be hyperbolic) the viewer response suggested many weren’t certain whether product was real or a gimmick designed to attract publicity.  It certainly attracted publicity but turned out to be real (with SKIMS part number).  Even if the concept wasn't as “innovative” as claimed, the promotional approach in the video certainly was, the spin being that if women can don a bra to emulate one of the more pleasing consequences of cold weather, the psychological effect might be they’ll be less inclined to turn on (or up) the air-conditioner, thus reducing energy use, thereby lowering carbon emissions, meaning a lesser contribution to the concentration of atmospheric CO₂ (and other greenhouse gasses) which causes accelerated climate change including higher temperatures.  That seems to be drawing a long bow but doubtlessly somewhere there will be published research which can be spun to support (or at least not disprove) each of the steps in the internal Kardashian logic.  It was certainly an example of the way commerce is attempting to monetize concerns about climate change.  

As Ms Kardashian put it: “The earth’s temperature is getting hotter and hotter. Sea levels are rising. The ice sheets are shrinking. I’m no scientist, but I believe everyone can do their skillset to do their part.  That’s why I’m introducing a brand-new bra with a built-in nipple so matter how hot it is, you’ll always look cold.  Some days are hard but these nipples are harder. And unlike the icebergs, these aren’t going anywhere.”  The bra was said to be available in six colors with a stated “10% of sales” (the exact math of that calculation not disclosed) to be a “one off donation” to 1% for the Planet (a multi-national collective of businesses pledged to gifting at least 1% of their annual revenue to “environmental causes”).  So it sounded like a real product with a real part-number (not then listed) but there were those who thought the release date being Halloween (October 31) might suggest it might not be wholly serious.  Even had it not been real, it would have been a good case-study for students of such things learning the craft of the promotional video clip, the only opportunity missed being Ms Kardashian should first have appeared in a scientist's white lab coat, peeling it off as she spoke the words "I'm no scientist".  The part-number's later appearance in the catalogue verified the availability.   

The 1970s: Rudi's sheer bra (left & right) and the original Nipple Bra.

It’s not a new idea.  In the early 1970s, several manufacturers advertised a line of bras with cups in a sheer fabric which offered coverage and support (within a limited mass range) but clung to the nipples' definition, the most celebrated being those of Austrian-born Rudolf "Rudi" Gernreich (1922–1985), remembered as the "designer" of the "monokini" (ie a bikini supplied without the top part).  This approach was for those who wanted to display the profile of their own nipples.  The "Nipple Bra" offered enhanced engineering was the ancestor of the SKIMS bra in that rather than using, as Herr Gernreich did, the human body's "built-in" nipples, it provided some.  The pitch all those decades ago was aimed at those who wanted to look “provocative” and in 1975 to achieve that the “Nipple Bra” cost US$20 (US$114.42 adjusted for 2023) so Ms Kardashian setting her price at US$120.00 seems not unreasonable.  The somewhat obtuse contribution to averting climate change aside, reaction to the product included the observation the bra will provide permanently “perfectly aligned nipples”, something not always achieved by the real things because, like most body parts, between left and right, there’s often some variation in size, shape, direction or distance from the ground.  Like many aspects of structural engineering, “perfect alignment” is achieved often with slight adjustments to variables like strap length.

Rudi not required: Lindsay Lohan displays perfect alignment, Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California, 2011.

In the United States, patent law exists to protect inventions, processes, and methods rather than abstract ideas and the general criteria (interpreted with some latitude) for eligibility is that an invention should be novel, non-obvious, and useful.  What does qualify is the implementation or embodiment of an idea in a tangible form so while a mere thought or concept can't be patented, a specific application or embodiment of that idea can be and this includes a new product, process, machine, or composition of matter.  Within all that, patents can be granted to cover improvements made to existing inventions.  Whether SKIMS have applied for or been granted a patent isn't clear but several for products in this vein have been granted over the last 50-odd years.  On 24 August 1976 Mr Jakob E. Schmidt of Charlestown, Indiana was granted U.S. patent #3976083 (Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples) as well as #4241737 & #4127128 covering “Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples and Attachable-Detachable Nipple Simulators”.

Conceptual drawing supplied with application for patent #3976083 (Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples), granted 24 August 1976.  The patent expired 24 August 1993.

The abstract filed with the application for #3976083 included: A brassiere is disclosed having cups which are provided with a nipple-like protuberance simulating the bulge of a natural nipple. The nipple-like bulge or protuberance may be a built-in component of the brassiere, usually situated under the fabric of the cup; a component which is permanently attached to the external surface of the brassiere cop; or an individual structure which may be attached to or detached from the brassiere cup as will, by means of several linkage and attachment mechanisms.  Simulated nipples for a brassiere would offer an acceptable compromise for ladies who do not wish to go without a brassiere and a welcome release from the subconscious effects of the suppression brought on by wearing brassieres of the types variously available, which obliterate the nipple.  That’s informative but Ms Kardashian might have phrased things in a more "Tik-Tok friendly" way. 

A nipple patch (left), the nipple patch writ large to function as a special-purpose bra (centre) and the advertising concept (right) which could be used by the manufacturers of either the "nipple bra" or the "nipple patch".  All that would be required is transposing the photographs, depending on whether the object was to display or conceal.

However, while one niche market will like the idea of being “so provocative”, there are others who find the sight of their own nipples “too provocative” and for this niche, there are ranges of products which offer coverage and concealment, smoothing away any suggestion of a nipple with patches which can be worn under bras with cups of even the most sheer fabric.  Self-adhesive (using a skin-friendly temporary glue), they can also be used without a bra and the same technology has been adapted to larger-scale units which actually function as a bra.  Marketed as being ideal to be used when wearing “backless” dresses or tops, they’re also said to be easier to use than the “fashion tape” (better known in the industry as “booby tape” or “tit tape”), especially if being self-applied.  Helpfully, if one changes one’s mind after having smoothed away the nipples, stick-on nipples are available in a range of styles and colors.

Piece from Miguel Castro Freitas’s “Stardust Aphrodite” collection for Mugler, Paris Fashion Week, October. 2025.

Miguel Castro Freitas’s (b 1980) first collection for Mugler was called “Stardust Aphrodite” and the designer described the pieces as “a trilogy of glorified clichés”, the three elements being (1) oversize and bulky, with big fluffy fabrics or shoulder pads, (2) severely tailored with extreme hourglass figures or (3) lightweight, sheer dresses; critics detected some overlap in the use of the motifs.  Although there were a number of nods to Mugler’s historic use of materials in bulk for dramatic effect, the collection otherwise tended to the “less”, one eye catching piece a gown with sparkly silver stars, its straps hung from bare-breasted nipple piercings.  To re-assure those whose toes had curled, critics noted that one was made from “a very lightweight fabric”.  The technique had be seen before, a “nipple grown” the best-remembered thing from the catwalk from one of Mugler’s shows in 1998 and this year’s model was an acknowledged homage but apart from that, it certainly was on-theme, Victoria’s Secret unlikely to see much business generated from those taken with Stardust Aphrodite.

A fragment from Fashion Feed’s take on Paris Fashion Week, 2025.

Of course the point of the catwalk is it makes it possible to see a garment in motion, interacting with the body.  That can be transformative: an outfit that on a hanger or mannequin seemed bland or lifeless can, when worn by a strutting model, come alive although equally, one which seemed admirable when static might reveal flaws of design or in construction once on the move.  Had the already infamous “nipple-piercing gown” been assessed purely on the technical criteria usually applied it would have been judged a success because the suspended sparkly chiffon flowed and swished as the designer knew it would but that achievement wasn’t much commented upon because the usual factions quickly were posting, the l'art pour l'art (art for art's sake) crowd calling the piece “an artistic vision” and dismissing criticism as the unwanted intrusion of a resurgent “purity culture” while those who disapproved called it “inappropriate” and yet another example of the way women’s bodies are exploited for the benefit of the “male gaze”.

One perhaps daring observation was that despite “many of the biggest names in women’s fashion being gay men… their designs often over-sexualise women instead of empowering them.”  Quite how much of the collective energy of gay men over the years been devoted to empowering women isn't known but Indian fashion commentator Pranjal Jain (b 2001) seemed to speak for her faction by adding that having a model parade “…a topless dress down the runway” and presenting it homage to the original of a quarter-century earlier was absurd because in the particular social & political context of the late 1990s such a dress could be understood as something “sensuous and provocative” but in 2025, “…what the fuck was the topless dress doing next to structured blazers and mini dresses?  I can tell you, the dress was a social media stunt engineered for virality.  Yet again, a man using a woman’s body for shock value.”  “Here”, she concluded, “is a perfect example of how fashion is political and historical, because context matters.”  As it has been for centuries, the critical deconstruction of frocks remains a serious matter.

Chappell Roan on the red carpet, Grammy Awards, Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, California, February 2026.  The rich auburn hair worked well with the hues of the gown and body art.

Even if Mugler’s “Stardust Aphrodite” didn’t at once migrate from the Paris catwalk to high street stores, the house didn’t abandon the motif and in February 2026, singer Chappell Roan (stage name of Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, b 1998) wore another of Mugler's interpretations (this time a burgundy gown) for the walk down the red carpet at the 68^th Annual Grammy Awards.  Predictably the event’s most publicized outfit, men everywhere doubtless were intrigued at the possibilities but the immediate reaction of women, regardless of their views of the aesthetic, may have been an involuntary curling of the toes as they imagined donning the gown.  That phenomenon is known as “mirror-touch synesthesia” which describes the experience when, upon observing another individual being touched or injured, a corresponding tactile or pain sensation is elicited in the anatomically matching location in the observer’s own body.  It’s very common but is a spectrum condition, most experiencing it as momentary sensation but in rare cases there have been patients for whom the effects have been long-lasting.  Technically, it’s triggered by a (usually temporary) reduction in the “self–other distinction” at the neural processing level, the causes thought to include (1) an heightened cross-activation between the visual and somatosensory cortices and (2) hyperactive or atypical functioning of the brain’s mirror neuron system.  There seems to be evidence an individual’s susceptibility to mirror-touch synesthesia is more significant in frequency of occurrence than the perception of the extent of the sensation (eg severity of an injury) witnessed.

Mirror-touch synesthesia is quite specific in its “virtual emulation” and differs from the vicarious responses (typically, a flinching when seeing someone suffer an injury) in being usually qualitatively stronger and manifested by a location-specific somatic sensation; it may run in parallel with emotional empathy (which happens typically without the literal bodily sensation) but is a separate phenomenon.  There are of course exceptions and the traditional (probably culturally obligatory) reaction of cricketers seeing a batsman struck “in the groin region” by a ball (delivered sometimes at 90 mph (145 km/h) or more) is one of mirth rather than empathy.

Drawing the lens: Chappell Roan photographed in front of the backdrop.

It would however seem the toes of mirror-touch synesthetes may uncurl because in the many photographs and video clips circulated, Ms Roan appeared not at all discomforted and the physics of that would have been determined by (1) the use of faux nipple piercings, (2) the lightweight fabric and (3) the gathering at the waist, ensuring each nipple had to bear the weight only of a few square inches of material.  No doubt pleased (if not surprised) by the interest generated, Ms Roan insisted it was not “that outrageous of an outfit”, adding “the look’s actually so awesome and weird” before concluding “I recommend just exercising your free will; it’s really fun and silly.”  The look was complimented with temporary body art, an extensive lace panel spread over her bare back with a pony on the chest, both credited to artist Jenny Collins of Puppy Puppy Playtime; the gold choker and earrings were by Buccellati.  Perhaps disappointing some, the outfit made only a one-off appearance on the red carpet, Ms Roan changing into something warmer when serving as an award-presenter.

Skims Ultimate Pierced Nipple Push-up Bra.

Of course, for such gowns to work (and that really is the correct expression), it relies on the wearer's nipples having appropriate fittings and these can be real (as body-piercings) or faux (attached with an adhesive or clamping device, the latter on the model of “clip-on” earrings).  However, what the use of light-weight fabrics should make possible is the material's attachment directly to the nipples with either a transparent surgical-grade glue or strategically placed double-sided tape ("boob-tape" or "tit-tape" in the jargon) but some of the effect would be lost because of the extent of the surface area of skin such adhesives would require.  More to the point, were it not done with genuine fittings (piercings or clamed-on), some of the “edginess” would be lost and it was this vibe Skims picked up on in the promotional video for “The Ultimate Pierced Nipple Push-up Bra”.  The tag line was: “Our sexiest bra gets even hotter with a faux nipple piercing design so you can get the ‘Ooo’ without the ouch!” and there’s no reason why, for certain events (if not the street), a Mugleresque gown couldn’t be hung from the bra’s fittings.  Done well, it could look good although Ms Jain likely would remain unimpressed.

Skims promotional video: “The Ultimate Pierced Nipple Push-up Bra”. 

Allegro

Allegro (pronounced uh-ley-groh or uh-leg-roh or ahl-le-graw (Italian)).

(1) In music, a tempo mark directing that a passage is to be played in a quick, lively tempo, faster than allegretto but slower than presto.

(2) In music (more traditionally), an expressive mark indicating that a passage is to be played in a lively or happy manner, not necessarily quickly.

(3) In music, a piece or passage to be performed in this manner (an allegro movement).

(4) In printing & typography, as the font Allegro, a serif typeface released in 1936 (initial upper case).

(5) In the history of the internet's lists of "the worst cars ever made", British Leyland's Austin Allegro (1973-1982) (initial upper case).

(6) In Italian use, a male given name (initial upper case).

1625–1635: From the Italian allegro (lively; happy, cheerful (feminine allegra, masculine plural allegri, feminine plural allegre, superlative allegrissimo)), from the French allègre, from the Latin alacer (nominative alacer) (lively, cheerful, brisk) (from which English later picked up alacrity).  The Italian allegretto (diminutive of allegro) in musical composition is the instruction to be (brisk & sprightly but not so quick as allegro) was coined in 1740 explicitly for its technical purpose in music and the alternative form was the adverb allegro non troppo, the construct being allegro (fast) + non (not) + troppo (too much), thus understood as "play fast but not too fast".   As well as the native Italian and the English allegro, composers in many languages use the term including in French allegro (the post-1990 spelling allégro), the Greek αλέγρος (alégros) & αλλέγκρο (allégkro), the Norwegian allegro, the Portuguese allegro (the alternative spelling alegro), the Turkish allegro and the Persian آلگرو.  Allegro is a noun, adjective & adverb; the noun plural is allegros (Initial upper case if used of the cars of appropriately named Italian males).

Use as a musical term seems not to have been recorded until 1721.  Prior to that, since the early seventeenth century, English had used the word in the sense (brisk, sprightly; cheerful) picked up from Italian and Latin although the original spelling in English was aleger (lively, brisk) from Old French alegre, influenced by the Medieval Latin alacris.  What encouraged use was the adoption of the word (in its literal sense) by John Milton (1608–1674) who included the poem L'Allegro" in his collection Poems (1645); L'Allegro (The happy man) was a pastoral poem and critics regarded it as a companion piece for his Il Penseroso (The melancholy man), a work which in some ways anticipated the Romantic movement of the early nineteenth century.  The literary use extended to the term "allegro speech" (a relatively fast manner of speaking), once often used as a stage notation by playwrights although it seems now less common, replaced by terms better known to the young.  This fragment from Milton's L'Allegro is illustrative of the piece's rhythm and movement:

Haste thee nymph, and bring with thee
Jest and youthful Jollity,
Quips and cranks, and wanton wiles,
Nods, and becks, and wreathbd smiles,
Such as hang on Hebe's cheek,
And love to live in dimple sleek;
Sport that wrinkled Care derides,
And Laughter holding both his sides.
Come, and trip it as you go
On the light fantasric roe.

Lindsay Lohan merchandize on allegro.pl, a Polish e-commerce site. 

The site presumably settled on "allegro.pl" to convey the idea of speed (fast service, fast delivery etc).  Although the word allegro was never absorbed into the Polish language, because it appeared with such frequency in augmenting musical notation, it’s a familiar form throughout Europe.  Polish composer Frédéric Chopin (1810–1849) used it as a title for Allegro de concert in A major, Opus 46 and his work also included three “allegro” movements: Allegro maestoso (the first movement of the Piano Concerto No. 1 in E minor, Opus. 11), Allegro vivace (the third movement of the Piano Concerto No. 1 in E minor, Opus 11) and Allegro vivace (the third movement of the Piano Concerto No. 2 in F minor, Opus 21).  In an appalling example of an attempt at normative moral relativism, while on trial before the International Military Tribunal (IMT) at Nuremberg (1945-1946), Hans Frank (1900–1946; Nazi lawyer and governor of the General Government (1939-1945) in German-occupied Poland during World War II) suggested that in mitigation for his direct complicity in mass-murder, he should receive some credit for establishing the Chopin Museum in Krakow, something “the Poles had never done”.

Voraciously corrupt (even by Nazi standards), Frank was protected by virtue of his past service as Adolf Hitler’s (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) personal lawyer and remained in his palace until the military collapse of the General Government in 1945; under his rule, some four million were murdered.  Remarkably, he handed to the Allies dozens of volumes of his highly incriminating diaries and the IMT found him guilty under Count 2 (War Crimes) & Count 3 (Crimes Against Humanity), sentencing him to death by hanging.  His response to the sentence was to say: “I expected it, I deserved it”, adding: “A thousand years will pass and still this guilt of Germany will not have been erased.”  The latter sentiment he recanted while awaiting execution, suggesting the trial had provided something of a cleansing effect but at the time most regarded that as cynically as they noted the rediscovery of his long abandoned Roman Catholic faith.  Although power corrupted him and led him down a path to depravity, Frank never quite lost his respect for the idea of the rule of law and its fundamental importance in a civilized society but was not in his mind able to resolve the conflict between the legal mystique in which he’d been trained and the reality of the Führerstaat (Führer state) in which the word of Hitler was the law.  Frank did attempt to build a framework in which the many contradictions could be reconciled but soon was made to understand his mental gymnastics would (rightly) be thought mere legal sophistry and anyway be ignored by those in the state who held authority.  Awaiting trial, he told one interrogator Hitler’s lack of reverence for the law was the “one defect in this great man” and regretted he’d never been able to change the Führer’s view he “would not rest until Germans realize it is shameful to be a lawyer.”

The Allegro typeface by German graphic artist Hans Bohn (1891–1980)

Although book burning infamously was associated with the era, much publishing was still done in Germany during the 1930s and the centre of the industry was Frankfurt.  In 1936, the city’s Ludwig & Mayer type foundry released the Allegro typeface which was in the tradition of Didone style which became popular in the nineteenth century but influenced also by art deco designs which had flourished during the inter-war years (1919-1939).  A serif design which relied for its impact on the alternation of thick and thin strokes, it used breaks in the letter where thin strokes might be expected, hinting at the style of stencils with a touch of the inclination associated with calligraphy.  It was a popular typeface for decorative purposes such as book jackets or headings of musical notation but, very much a display font, it worked well only above a certain point size and thus was used at scale, almost exclusively for titles.

The Ford Allegro

Ford Allegro concept cars: 1963 (left & centre) and the 1967 Allegro II (right).

Ford’s Allegro was a concept car developed between 1961-1962 which was well-received during its time on the show circuit, viewers much taken by the dramatic interior which included a cantilever-arm, movable steering wheel with an electronic memory unit and adjustable pedals, features which would appear in production cars within a decade.  Built on the unibody platform of the compact Falcon which had been introduced in 1959, it was powered by a V4 manufactured by Ford’s European operation in Cologne, FRG (Bundesrepublik Deutschland (Federal Republic of Germany; the old West Germany, 1949-1990).  Noting the use in music, the company settled on the “Allegro” name to convey the idea of “brisk and lively performance” but company documents confirm the team responsible for such things pondered “Avventure” and “Avanti” before settling on “Allegro”.  The more obviously speculative Allegro II was displayed in 1967 and a number of the design motifs from both would appear on subsequent Fords as well as Chevrolet’s Vega (1970-1977) and second generation Camaro(1970-1981).

The Austin Allegro

Aesthetic success & failure: The Alfa-Romeo Alfasud (left) and the Austin Allegro (right).

Often featured (usually with several other products of British Leyland in the 1970s) in lists as among the worst cars ever made, the Austin Allegro was in production between 1973-1982 and actually sold in respectable numbers for most of that time although at only a third the rate of its remarkably popular predecessor (ADO16, the Morris 1100/1300 and its five badge-engineered siblings (Austin, MG, Wolseley, Riley & Vanden Plas).  One much criticized aspect of the Allegro was the appearance; it was thought a bloated blob in an era of sharp-edges and wedges and the critique does illustrate just how narrow can be the margin between success and failure in the execution of a concept.  The Alfa Romeo Alfasud (1971-1983 (variants of the original produced until 1989)) adopted essentially the same shape and dimensions yet was praised as an elegant and well-balanced design.  Seen in silhouette, the shapes are similar yet in the metal, the detail differences, a mere inch (25 mm) or two here and there or a subtle change in an angle or curve and one emerges lithe, the other ponderous.

Harris Mann’s 1968 conceptual sketch for the Allegro project.

The Allegro’s portly appearance wasn’t the original intent.  Tasked with designing a replacement for ADO16, the stylist Harry Mann (1938-2023) sketched a modernist wedge, designed to accommodate what was at the time an advanced specification which included all-independent hydraulic suspension, front wheel drive, disk brakes and crucially, new, compact engines.  Mann however began the project while employed by BMC (British Motor Corporation of which Austin was a part) but by the time substantive work on the Allegro began, BMC had been absorbed into the Leyland conglomerate, a sprawling entity of disparate and now competing divisions which, if agonizingly reorganized, might have succeeded but such were the internal & external obstacles to re-structuring that, coupled with political turmoil and the economic shocks of the 1970s, it staggered to failure, something the later nationalization could only briefly disguise.  Mann’s team learned the clean-lined wedge would have to be fattened-up because, not only were the old, tall, long-stroke engines to be re-used but the new units to be offered as options were bulkier still.

If installed at an angle (which would have demanded some re-engineering but would have been possible), that might have been manageable but what was not was the decision to use the corporate heater unit, developed at an apparently extraordinary cost; it could be installed just one way and it was a tall piece of machinery.  Allegro production ended in 1982 but what its appearance of all those "worst car ever" lists tends to obscure is it wasn't a commercial failure.  Although it sold only about a third the volume of its predecessor (the ADO16 ranges) which was for most of the 1960s the UK's best-selling car (and an export success, especially in New Zealand), the Allegro existed in a much more competitive market.  Essentially, the Allegro was nearly a very good car and had it been produced by an outfit less inept than British Leyland, it'd probably now be better-remembered.  While it's now sometimes dismissed as "all agro" ("agro" a slang form of "angry", the phrase meaning something like "nothing but trouble"), in its time the Allegro sold well and enjoyed a better than average reliability record.

1976 Triumph TR7 coupé (left) and 1980 Triumph TR8 convertible (right).  It is wholly emblematic of British Leyland that just as the TR8 had become a good car with much unexplored potential, production ceased. 

Mann didn’t forget his 1968 sketch and when the opportunity later came to design a new sports car, his wedge re-appeared as one of the cars which most represented the design ethos of the 1970s: The Triumph TR7 (1974-1981) & TR8 (1977-1982) which weren't quite trouble-free but which sold quite well and, as the TR8 (which used the 3.5 litre (215 cubic inch) Rover V8), represented something in which the potential of the original was finally realized but it was too late for by then the disaster that was British Leyland had eaten itself.  

1960 Plymouth Fury four-door hardtop (left), 1974 Austin Allegro 1750 Sport Special (centre) and 2024 Chevrolet Corvette Z06 coupe (right).

The Allegro is remembered also for a steering wheel which was neither circular yet not exactly square.  Dating back decades, the idea wasn’t novel and such things had in the early 1960s appeared of a few American cars but, fitted to the Allegro, it attracted much derision, something not diminished by Leyland’s explanation it afforded "an ideal view of the instruments".  Leyland also attracted the scorn of mathematicians when they called the shape “quartic” on the basis of it being “a square with rounded corners”.  However, technically, a quartic is “an algebraic equation or function of the fourth degree or a curve describing such an equation or function” while sqound (a portmanteau word, the construct being sq(uare) + (r)ound) is the ultimate niche word, the only known use by collectors of certain Chevrolet C4 Corvettes (1984-1996), describing the shift in 1990 from round to “a square with rounded corners” taillights.  Mathematicians insist the correct word for a "square with rounded corners" is "squircle" (in algebraic geometry "a closed quartic curve having properties intermediate between those of a square and a circle"), the construct being squ(are) +c(ircle).

Few etymologists (and certainly no lexicographers) appear to have listed sqound as a "real" word but it's of minor interest because as a rare example of a word where "q" is not followed by "u"; such constructs do exist but usually in the cases where initialisms have become acronyms such as Qantas (Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services).  Such words do appear in English language texts but they tend to be foreign borrowings including (1) qat (or khat) (a plant native to East Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, often chewed for its stimulant effects, (2) qi (a term from Chinese philosophy referring to life force or energy), qibla (the direction Muslims face when praying, towards the Kaaba in Mecca and (4) qiviut (the soft under-wool of the musk-ox, valued when making warm clothing).  For a while, Leyland pretended to ignore the pedants but within a year replaced the wheel with a conventional circular design.  Whatever the name, variations of the shape have since become popular with high-end manufacturers, Ferrari, Aston-Martin, Lamborghini and others all pursuing non-circular themes and one is a feature of the latest, mid-engined, C8 Chevrolet Corvette in which, unlike the despised Allegro, it's much admired.

How to make an Allegro look worse: 1976 Vanden Plas 1500, the variant coming too late to receive the quartic wheel.  The consensus among testers was the best place to enjoy a Vanden Plas 1500 was sitting inside, amid the leather and walnut, most readers drawing the inference that was because one wouldn't have to look at the thing.  One less charitable scribe described it as "mutton dressed up as hogget". 

In another sign of the times, unlike ADO16, one basic vehicle which was badge-engineered to be sold under six brands (Austin, Morris, Riley, Wolseley, MG & Vanden Plas with the Italian operation Innocenti among the overseas builders, some of which added "modernized" front and rear styling), the only variation of the Allegro was a luxury version by in-house coach-builder Vanden Plas (although there were Belgium-built Allegros and Leyland's Italian operation produced some 10,000 between 1974-1975 as the Innocenti Regent), laden with leather, cut-pile carpeting and burl walnut trim including the picnic tables so beloved by English coach-builders.  It didn't use the Allegro name and has always elicited condemnation, even from those who admired the Vanden Plas ADO16, presumably because the traditional upright grill attached to the front suited the earlier car's lines whereas the version which had to be flattened to fit the Allegro's pinched, pudgy nose was derided as coming from the hand of a vulgarian.  Still, there's clearly some appeal because the Vanden Plas cars have the highest survival rate of all Allegros and now enjoy a niche (one step below the GDR's (Deutsche Demokratische Republik (German Democratic Republic; the old East Germany, 1949-1990) Trabant (the infamous "Trabbi")) on the bottom rung of the collector car market.  One thing which may disappoint collectors is the Vanden Plas 1500 & 1750 (1974-1982) never used the "quartic" steering wheel although a photograph of one so-equipped did appear in the early brochures, printed before the decision in mid-1974 to replace it with a conventional (circular) design.  The photograph was of what the the industry calls a "final pre-production prototype", a common practice.

Leyland's other misadventure in 1973: The P76     

The antipodean Edsel: 1973 Leyland P76 Super V8.

Although 1973 was the last “good year” for the “old” UK economy and one during which British Leyland was looking to the future with some optimism, the corporation’s troubles that year with steering wheels were, in retrospect, a harbinger.  In addition to the Allegro, also introduced in 1973, on the other side of the planet, was the P76, a large (then a “compact” in US terms) sedan which Leyland Australia hoped would be competitive with the then dominant trio, GMH’s (General Motors Holden) Holden, Ford’s Falcon and Chrysler’s Valiant, the previous attempts using modified variants of UK models less than successful although the adaptations had been both imaginative and achieved at remarkably low cost.  Whatever the hope and dreams, publicly, Leyland Australia kept expectations low, claiming the target was nothing more than a 10% market share and the initial reception the P76 received suggested this might more than be realized, the consensus of press reports concluding the thing was in many aspects at least as good as the opposition and in some ways superior, the country’s leading automotive periodical that year awarding the V8 version the coveted CotY (Car of the Year) trophy.  

The answer to the question nobody asked: 44 gallon drum in a P76 boot.  In fairness, the marketing gimmick was a device to illustrate the car had "a bigger boot than the competition" rather than an indication many buyers routinely (if ever) carted such a thing but it soon became a matter of ridicule.

Unfortunately, the circumstances of 26 June 1973 when the P76 was launched didn’t last, the first oil crisis beginning some four months later which resulted in a spike in the price of oil which not only suddenly dampened demand for larger cars but also triggered what was in the West then the most severe and longest-lasting recession of the post-war years.  Some basic design flaws and indifferent quality control contributed to the debacle which is now remembered as the Australian industry’s Edsel and in October 1974 production of the P76 ended; Leyland closed its Australian manufacturing facilities, never to re-open.  Not even the much-vaunted ability of the P76 effortlessly to carry a 44 (imperial) gallon (53 US gallon; 205 litre) drum in its trunk (boot) had been enough to save the outpost of the old empire.

1973 P76 with the original (sharp-edged) steering wheel (left) and the later version, designed for the Force 7 (right) which was fitted also to the Targa Florio version released to celebrate a P76 setting the fastest time on the stage of the 1974 London–Sahara–Munich World Cup Rally held on the historic Targa Florio course in Sicily (in the rally, the P76 finished a creditable 13^th).  The steering wheel was one of many flaws which were planned to be rectified (or at least ameliorated) in the "facelifted" version scheduled for 1975 but, before the end of 1974, the decision had been taken in London to axe the entire Leyland Australia manufacturing venture.    

Given the geo-political situation, rampant inflation and troubled industrial relations of the time, the P76’s steering wheel is really just a footnote in the sad tale but, like the Allegro’s “quartic” venture it was emblematic of the self-inflicted injuries to which Leyland would subject itself, both in the UK and its antipodean offshoot.  When the P76 made its debut in 1973, there was some comment that the steering wheel’s boss had a horn-pad in the shape of a boomerang, emphasizing its credentials as a locally developed product, but what was criticized was the rim which had bizarre, concave cross-section, meaning a quite sharp edge faced the driver, leaving an impression on the palms of the hands after only a few minutes driving.  The industry legend is the shape was a consequence of the typist (second wave feminism hadn't yet left the bookshelves and arrived in boardrooms so in 1973 it remained SOP (standard operating practice) to wherever possible "blame the woman") who prepared the final specification-sheet having mixed up “concave” & “convex” but even if true it’s remarkable such an obvious design-flaw wasn't rectified at the prototype stage.

Some have doubted the veracity of the story but such things do happen including in space.  The problems of the HST (Hubble Space Telescope, 1990) were a famous example and on 23 September, 1999, NASA (the US National Aeronautics and Space Administration) lost the US$125 million Mars Climate Orbiter spacecraft after its 286-day journey to Mars and that was a time when US$125 million was still a lot of money.  There was of course the inevitable review which found the craft’s directional thrusters had, over the course of several months, been incorrectly fired because the control data had been calculated in incorrect units.  The contractor (Lockheed Martin, responsible for the calculations) was sending data in Imperial measures (pounds) to NASA, while NASA's navigation team, expecting metric units, interpreted the numbers as Newtons.  As far as is known, neither contractor nor agency attempted to blame a typist.

1974 Leyland Force 7V.

Compounding the error on an even grander scale, Leyland even planned to release a P76 coupé.  Of the 60-odd built, only 10 of the prototype Force 7V coupés survived the crusher and although it offered the novelty of a practical hatchback, the styling was ungainly and the execution expensive (no external panels shared with the sedan, then the standard practice for such variants).  However, what was more critical was the very market segment for which it was intended was close to extinction and the five vehicles intended as its competitors (Ford's Falcon Hardtop & Landau, Holden's Monaro coupé and Chrysler's Valiant Hardtop & Charger) would be all dropped from production by 1978.  Even had the range survived beyond 1974, success would thus have seemed improbable although the company should be commended for having intended to name the luxury version the Tour de Force (from the French and translated literally as "feat of strength"), the irony charming although En dépit de tout (In spite of everything) might better have captured the moment.  Industry historians have long concluded that even had the P76 survived, the Force 7 would have been a short-lived failure.     

Seriously, the New Zealanders did, by at least the hundreds.

One darkly amusing footnote in the dismal decline and fall of the P76 is that between 1971-1976, Rover's highly regarded 3500 (P6B, 1968-1977) was assembled from CKD (completely knocked down) packs at the NZMC (New Zealand Motor Corporation) plant in Nelson, some 2,400 finished cars shipped to Australia.  To an economist that probably sounds an unexceptional trans-Tasman commercial transaction but in return, NZMC received from Leyland Australia CKD packs of P76 V8s to an equivalent NZ$ value.  Most concluded the Australians got the better part of the deal although the P76 is now a fixture in the lower reaches of the local collector market where they sell for rather more than 3500s so there's that.

There seems no publicly available record of how many CKD packs were shipped to New Zealand but a fully-assembled, ADR (Australian Design Rules) compliant 3500 would have had a higher book value than a CKD pack P76 of any specification so, given the retail pricing at the time, a ratio between 3-4:1 may be a reasonable guess, the labor component in any assembly a substantial part of the calculated value.  That means it must have been a partial exchange because however calculated, 650 CKD packs of P76s would be only a fraction the value of 2400 complete P6s.  During the mid 1970s, the NZ$-Aus$ exchange rate bounced between (roughly) 1.10-1.22 so, depending on contractual terms, that may also have influenced the two-way volumes.  By the mid-1970s the Bretton Woods system (1944-1973) of fixed exchange rates was over but Western countries still set rates in a system called a “managed float”, periodically using a “basket” of currencies (US$ the benchmark; cross-rates from the basket).  “Managed float” sounds an oxymoron but the process wasn’t wholly different from modern practice (the interplay of forex markets and central bank interventions).

GQ Magazine (British edition), September 1995.  GQ stands for “Gentleman's Quarterly” but perhaps, by the 1990s, there was some irony in the title.

While it may be unfair, the P6-P76 exchange may be compared with the “Seriously, would you trade her in for Paula Yates?” caption which appeared on the September, 1995 cover of the British edition of the periodical GQ, used for a photograph of an alluringly posed Helena Christensen.  The piece was a comment on the news Australian singer Michael Hutchence (1960–1997) had “traded in” Danish supermodel Helena Christensen (b 1968 and his long-time girlfriend) for English media personality Paula Yates (1959–2000), the unsubtle implication being Ms Christensen was rather more attractive than Ms Yates, GQ's view apparently a woman's desirability should be determined on no other basis.  There are reasons the grimier end of English journalism gained its reputation.  

Paula Yates.

Many might make a similar point between the Rover P6 and the Leyland P76 although, like the two women, the pair do share some fundamental DNA, both V8s based on the original aluminium unit developed by GM (General Motors) for BOP (the corporation’s Buick, Oldsmobile & Pontiac divisions); not wholly suited to US use, GM produced the 215 cubic inch (3.5 litre) V8 only between 1960-1963 before selling the rights and tooling to Rover.  GM would come to regret that decision but nevertheless got good value from the design, similar engines with iron blocks used between 1964-1980 although the greatest benefit came from a V6 derivative which, in various forms in places around the world, was in continuous production between 1964-2008.  Best remembered as the long-serving “3800”, the V6 proved one of Detroit’s most robust, reliable and easily serviced engines.  For the P6, Rover used the original 3.5 litre configuration (although the company made the first of their many improvements) while Leyland Australia created a “tall deck” block and achieved a 4.4 litre (269 cubic inch) displacement with a perfectly square bore & stroke (both 88.9 mm (3.5 inch)).  Had the rest of the car been up to the standard of the 4.4, the P76 may have succeeded.

Helena Christensen.

Introduced in 1963 as the Rover 2000 (with a unique 2.0 litre (121 cubic inch) in-line four-cylinder engine), the P6 was one of the outstanding products of the post-war British car industry (genuinely, despite the perceptions of some, there were a few fine machines) with an advanced specification in a conveniently sized package.  It was the first ECotY (European Car of the Year) and all it needed was more power (a flirtation with enlarging the 2.0 to a 2.5 litre (151 cubic inch) in-line five aborted), that deficiency in 1968 addressed with the release of the 3500, the range in 1971 augmented by the 3500S (unrelated to the automatic 3500S sold briefly in the US) with a four-speed manual gearbox, the revised configuration making these P6s genuine 125 mph (200 km/h) cars.  Although by then a nearly decade-old platform, the 3500S impressed testers with it pace, the usual competence of the de Dion rear suspension and brakes which were state of the (pre-ABS) art; the fuel gauge also attracted comment, praised for its unusual accuracy.  Regrettably, the P6's fine platform was under-exploited although the Swiss coach-builder Graber was among several which built nicely-executed coupés & cabriolets while in England there were the inevitable estates (station wagons) although the latter were not ascetically pleasing because of the need to follow the slope of the roof-line.  Along with much of the UK industry, Rover rather lost its way after the high water mark of the 3500.  

The Alfa Romeo Alfasud

The fate of many Alfasuds.

Sea water played a part in the story of the Alfasud.  The Alfasud name (the construct being Alfa + sud) was an allusion to it being produced in a newly built factory in the Naples region, the decision taken after financial inducements were offered by the government, anxious to do something about the levels of unemployment and lack of economic development in the south of the country.  The Italian sud (south) was from the French sud, from Old English suþ, from Proto-Germanic sunþrą.  As a plan it made sense to politicians and economists but, industrial relations being what they were at the time, the outcome was less than ideal.    

In one aspect, the Allegro and Alfasud (1971-1989) were wholly un-alike, the latter infamous for its propensity to rust, a trait shared with many mass-produced Italian cars of the era, the only consolation for Alfasud owners being the contemporary Lancia Beta (1972-1984) suffered even more.  The Alfasud's rust-resistance did improve over the years but it remained a problem until the end of production and the industry story has always been that in the barter economy which was sometime conducted between the members of the EEC (European Economic Community (1957), the Zollverein that would evolve into the EU (European Union (1993)) and those of the Warsaw Pact (the alliance between the USSR and the satellite states within Moscow's sphere of influence which essentially duplicated the structure of NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization, 1949), Italian manufactured goods were exchanged for Russian steel which reputedly was re-cycled but anyway turned out to be of poor quality and essentially porous.  The story certainly is a good fit for the narrative of mal-administration and corruption that was Italy in the 1970s but subsequent research has revealed it to be a myth, the sheet metal used in the Neapolitan factory at Pomigliano d’Arco where Alfasuds were made the same stuff Alfa Romeo used in the facility at Arese in Milan where the Giulia range was produced and its reputation for resisting rust was above average.  The evidence suggests all the steel used by the company's local operations came from the state owned Taranto steel mills and intriguingly, the factories south & north all used the same paints and the ovens & paint booths were a decade-odd newer in Naples.

Variations on the Alfasud theme: The Sprint (1976-1989, left) and Giardinetta (station wagon or estate-car) (1975-1980, right).

Given all that, the startlingly premature corrosion surprised many within Alfa Romeo and in 1977 a project-team was formed to investigate the causes and it was afforded some urgency given the reputational damage being suffered by the whole company (ie profits were suffering).  Having determined the core components (paint & steel) weren't to blame, the engineers deconstructed the production process including the system of movement (how the partially completed cars proceeded from start to finish).  What the team found was that while the electrophoresis baths at Pomigliano were state of the art, the inexperienced (and sometimes indifferently-minded) workforce operated them without adequate supervision and quality control, something exacerbated by the chronically bad labor relations, the factory beset by rolling strikes which meant unpainted bodies were often sitting for days.  In the humid climate of the south, condensation gathered, many cars already rusting even before eventually receiving a coat of paint and that the plant was less than 10 miles (16 km) from the coast and prevailing winds blew from the sea added to the problem, the unpainted Alfasuds often for days sitting unpainted accumulating salty moisture.

1983 Alfa Romeo Alfasud Ti Quadrifoglio Verde (Green Cloverleaf), one of the industry's longer model names and clipped usually to "Alfasud QV".

The team's findings resulted in a change to the production process for the revised Series 2 Alfasuds launched in December 1977.  The critical parts of the bodyshell now used "Zincrometal" (steel coated with a primer) which was a mix of chromium, zinc and an organic bonding resin, baked at 160°C (320°F) and that was as good a system as anything then used in the European industry.  As a added precaution, a polyurethane foam was injected into the body's boxed sections with a flexible plastic sealant applied at the seams to prevent moisture intrusion.  That had the added benefit of reducing noise vibration & harshness (NVH) while adding only a little extra weight.  Unfortunately, the tests the engineers conducted to prove the design was waterproof relied on perfectly applied sealant at the junctions but the poor quality control continued so many seams were improperly sealed which meant the foam acted as a moisture store, making the problem worse.  By contrast, whatever its other faults (and there were a few), the Allegro resisted rust like few cars built anywhere during the era, the body-engineering sound and that 1970s British Leyland paint thick and durable.  In the years that followed, many would criticize the sometimes lurid and even sickly shades but as a protective coating, it did the job.

Ultimate Alfasud: The Giocattolo (left), the world's best Alfa Romeo Sprint which included the world’s best tool kit (right).  Unrelated to either, Il giocattolo (the Toy, 1979) was an Italian film noir from the Anni di piombo (Years of Lead) era, directed by Giuliano Montaldo (1930-2023).

The much admired coupé variant of the Alfasud was sold as the Alfasud Sprint (1976-1983) and Sprint (1983-1989); it proved rather more rust resistant.  It was subject to continuous product improvement and fitted with progressively bigger and more powerful engines although none were larger than 1.7 litres (104 cubic inches) which limited its use in competition to events where outright speed mattered less than balance and agility.  The handling was about as good as FWD (front wheel drive) then got and in events such as hill climbs the things are competitive even today.  However, rising to the challenge, between 1986-1989, an Australian company solved the two problems afflicting the Sprint (FWD & lack of power).  Thus the Giocattolo (a play on the Italian word meaning “toy”), a batch of 15 built in the Queensland coastal town of Bundaberg before the economic downturn (remembered locally as "the recession we had to have", the then treasurer's (Paul Keating (b 1944; Prime Minister of Australia 1991-1996)) rationalization of why it was essential to kill off the inflation which had become entrenched in the mid 1970s) ended the fun.  The Giocattolo was fitted with a mid-mounted 304 cubic inch (5.0 litre) Holden V8, driving the rear wheels through a ZF five-speed transaxle, the combination yielding a top speed of 160 mph (257 km/h), a useful increase of 40 mph (65 km/h) over the fastest of the factory's Sprints.  As impressive as the mechanical specification was, the Giocattolos are remembered also for the unusual standard feature of a 375 ml bottle of Bundaberg Rum (the region's most famous product which began as a way to use a waste-product of sugar-cane processing) and two shot glasses as part of the toolkit.  Many who worked on Italian cars probably thought they deserved a drink so it was a good idea but these days, a company would risk being cancelled for such a thoughtful inclusion.