Naff

Naff (pronounced naf)

(1) Unstylish; lacking taste; unfashionable, usually as “a bit naff”.

(2) As “naff around” or “naff about”, to goof off or fool around (now rare, perhaps obsolete).

(3) To decline a suggestion or request someone to depart (as naff off), once widely used as a journalistic euphemism.

(4) A kind of tufted sea-fowl.

(5) In slang, a range of uses, figurative and euphemistic.

1800s:  Naff has had quite a history.  It’s documented (1) (circa 1845) in slang as a noun meaning "female pudenda" which is though possibly back-slang from “fan”, a shortening of fanny (in the UK sense), circa 1940, meaning "nothing" in the slang of prostitutes' slang and (3) (circa 1959) as a verb, a euphemism for “fuck” in oaths, imprecations, and expletives (as in naff off) and (4) as a (1960s) adjective to convey "vulgar, common, despicable" or just generally “ugly or unattractive” which is said to have been used in 1960s British gay slang for "unlovely" and thence adopted into the jargons of the theatre and the armed forces.  There is one source which suggests it was gay slang for “heterosexual” but it’s undocumented; perhaps among them “unattractive” and “ugly” were synonymous on technical, if not aesthetic grounds.  In one sign of the times, in the early 1980s, the last days before deference finally died, the tabloid press generously reported Princess Anne (b 1950) had told a photographer covering an equestrian event to “naff off” rather than the “fuck off” she, apparently more than once, thought better conveyed her feelings.  He late father would probably have approved though it’s doubtful the Murdoch press will show the same restraint should ever the Duchess of Sussex be so expressive.

The use in the gay community and in entertainment circles is thought possibly from Polari. Brought to England by sailors, Polari is a distinctive English argot, examples of which appear in the record since at least the early seventeenth century.  Historically, it was associated with groups of theatrical and circus performers and in certain gay and lesbian communities and in those communities, some words still survive in their slang.  Although some of its later adoptions were influenced by other languages, most of the vocabulary was derived from Italian, either directly or through the Lingua Franca of Mediterranean ports.  The word was first recorded by researchers in the 1840s and was ultimately from Italian parlare (to speak, talk), source of the English borrowing “parle”.  Polari was also sometimes spelled parlary and pronounced puh-lahr-ee, par-lahr-ee, par·lya·ree, puhl-yahr-ee or pahrl-yahr-ee.

Naff does appear elsewhere but neither (1) the corruption of the Swiss/German surname Neff (perhaps brought to the Middle East by a Crusader or trader) or (2) the Arabic root from a word meaning “one who separates wheat from chaff” are thought to have any link to the use in English.  Naff is the adjective and (the rare) naffness the noun.  There are early (non-vulgar) twentieth century citations of naff as both noun-singular & plural but the form never caught on.  Still, it’s an adaptable word for those attracted: naff, naffness, naffer, naffism, naffology, naffest, naffhead, naffy, naffiest, naffinistic, naffstick, naffily, naffed, & naffing are all there to be used or constructed. 

Naff really is quite useful.  None of the vaguely similar words (kitsch, camp, rubbish, unstylish, clichéd, outmoded, inferior, tasteless) convey exactly the same meaning; there’s overlap with many but naff encapsulates nuances of all in a way no other word can.  It possesses a quality best understood by the distinction Susan Sontag (1933–2004) drew in her essay Notes on Camp (Partisan Review, 1964), between “a sensibility” and “an idea”.  Naffness seems a sensibility rather than an idea which lends itself to any precision in definition, a thing which can be sensed when encountered but not defined except in terms either so verbose or abstract as to not be helpful.

Being a sensibility, it’s a thing which can slur across time, some things once fashionable becoming naff and later (allegedly) ironic.

Eurovision

Eurovision (pronounced your-o-vish-on)

(1) The network of the European Broadcasting Union for the exchange of news and television programmes amongst its member organizations and for the relay of news and programmes from outside the network.

(2) As modifier, the Eurovision Song Contest.

1950: The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) (Européenne de Radio-Télévision (UER)).  EBU was formed 12 February 1950 as an alliance of public service media organizations, currently made up of seventy-three members in fifty-six countries and thirty-four associate-members in a further twenty, not all of which are in Europe.  The EBU is now best known for producing the Eurovision Song Contest although it broadcasts a wide range of programmes.

Blatant injustice, 2003

The Eurovision Song Contest (Concours Eurovision de la chanson) has been held since 1956; the format essentially that of the Sanremo Music Festival first held in Italy in 1951 and (structurally) little changed since although the voting system has bounced around a bit.  In the early years it was a quite earnest song contest which gradually became rather naff until later in the twentieth century when, quite organically, it transformed into something of a self-aware freak-show spiced-up by amusing political squabbles.  The apparent anomaly of Australia’s participation is by virtue of (1) being a foundation associate-member of the EBU and (2) an invitation to compete, first extended in 2016 as part of the sixtieth anniversary celebrations.  The quality of Australia's entries being in keeping with the spirit of the competition, they've since been invited back. 

Serious students of the event (and that is a niche not confined to pop culture) have since 2003 thought the voting system suspect after irregularities deprived t.AT.u., the Russian lesbian schoolgirls, of their deserved victory.  That actually they were neither lesbians nor schoolgirls seemed hardly the point.

Pontiff

Pontiff (pronounced pon-tif)

(1) In historic pagan use, any pontifex, high or chief priest.

(2) In historic ecclesiastical use, a bishop.

(3) In modern use, the Roman Catholic Pope, the Bishop of Rome.

1600–1610: From the Middle French pontife, from the Latin pontifex.  The form "pontiff" which emerged in the early 1600s preserved the earlier (pagan) meaning "high priest", from the French pontif, also ultimately from the Latin pontifex (a title used by a Roman high priest).  It was used to refer to the office of bishop in Church Latin but appears not to have been recorded in that sense in English until the 1670s and then, only specifically to "the Bishop of Rome" (ie the Roman Catholic Pope), the Roman Catholic Pope. Pontifical was however used in that sense from the mid fifteenth century but it's now exclusively an alternative name for a pope.  Not any pope however; it’s never used with reference to the Coptic Pope.  The Latin pontifex meant literally “bridge builder”, the construct being pōns (bridge) +‎ fex (suffix representing a maker or producer).  It was used as a title for some of the more senior pagan priests of Ancient Rome, the consensus being it was adopted as a metaphorical device to suggest “one who negotiates between gods and men” although at least one scholar of antiquity suggested the relationship was close to literal in that the social class which supplied the priests was more or less identical with engineers responsible for building bridges.  That may seem more a sociological than theological point but for structural functionalists and other realists, such distinctions seem a bit naff.

Pontifical promotion: Lindsay Lohan in 2019 flirted with an eternity in Hell by purloining a picture of Pope Francis to promote her song Xanax.  The image was taken in 2013, during a visit to the National Shrine of Our Lady Aparecida in Brazil while he was conducting communion.  Captioned “Blessed be the Fruit”, the meme has a digitally altered image of Francis holding up a copy of her debut album Speak (2005) and in the language of the MBAs would probably be classified as a kind of “ambush marketing”.  The prospect of damnation must have been considered but when one has a dropped tune to promote, risks must be taken.

Theodosius I (347–395) was the last Roman Emperor (379-395) to rule both the eastern and western "halves" of the Roman Empire.  Once, on his travels he fell so ill that death seemed inevitable but, upon being baptised, he staged an astonishing recovery and reached Constantinople a devout Christian.  Immediately he set about removing the last vestiges of paganism from the Empire.  It wasn’t the first imperial intervention against paganism.  Earlier, the Emperor Gratian (359–383) had refused the traditional title Pontifex Maximus (chief priest of the state religion) because his bishop thought it unworthy for a Christian emperor to accept a pagan honour, even though it had been worn by emperors since Constantine (circa 272–337).  However, although the Church may have disapproved of pagan baubles for others, by 590, Pope Gregory I (circa 540–604) decided it was fine for him and granted it to himself, explaining a pope was the “…chief priest of Christianity” and that Constantine had claimed to be the “bishop of bishops”, a role long since assumed by popes.  It’s from here the word pontiff evolved into its modern form.

Pope Pius VIII (1761-1830) being carried in Saint Peter's on the Sedia Gestatoria (circa 1825), wearing the papal triple tiara (triple crown) by Emile Jean Horace Vernet (1789-1863).

The sedia gestatoria (gestatorial chair, literally translated from the Italian as "chair for carrying") was the ceremonial throne on which the Pope, pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, was carried on shoulders of courtiers.  An enlarged and elaborate version of the sedan chair, it was constructed with a silk-covered armchair attached to a suppedaneum, on each side of which were two gilded rings; through these passed the long rods with which twelve palafrenieri (footmen) carried the chair on their shoulders.  With origins in antiquity, the sedia gestatoria was for almost a millennium used to convey popes during the grandest of ceremonial occasions in the Basilica of St John Lateran & St Peter's Basilica and, beyond the Holy See, somewhat less grand sedia gestatoria were used by cardinals and others, given sometimes with the blessing of the pope as an expression of especial favor.  Used also by Byzantine emperors, the concept and much of the design was borrowed from the sedias of the Roman Empire although there, use was a little less exclusive, high officials as well as emperors enjoying the distinction and some fun was made of rich individuals (who held no public office) arranging their own.

Pope Benedict XVI in Popemobile passing 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (the White House), Washington DC, April 2008.  This Popemobile was based on a Mercedes-Benz ML 430 (W163), powered by a 4.3 litre (260 cubic inch) V8 (M113).

For their public appearances, popes have been driven a variety of vehicles ranging from a Leyland truck to a Ferrari Mondial Cabriolet (1982-1993), the latter believed to be the fastest of the Popemobiles.  Although most associated with the need to provide protection against assassination, the Popemobiles replaced the sedia gestatoria because, although trips such as Benedict's to White House would have been possible with the traditional chair carried by a dozen, attractive young palafrenieri, it would have been time-consuming.  Pope John Paul I (1912–1978; pope August-September 1978) was the last to use the sedia gestatoria and even he had resisted, preferring to walk, acceding only because without the elevated platform, his visibility to the crowd and the television cameras would be so limited.  Pope John Paul II (1920–2005; pope 1978-2005), the first non-Italian pontiff in over four-hundred years, vetoed the idea of being carried on shoulders and alternatives were created, evolving into the increasingly armored Popemobiles.  The sedia gestatoria thus joined the papal tiara (triple crown) on the shelf of the retired symbols of the church of a grander age.

The Triple Tiara

Sultan Süleyman the Magnificent (circa 1545), woodcut by an unknown Venetian artist.  Historians suspect the depiction of the splendid jewel-studded helmet was substantially accurate but the object may simply have been too heavy safely to wear for all but static, set-piece events, the risk of injury to the neck too great.

The papal triple tiara is a crown which has been worn by popes of the Roman Catholic Church since the eighth century.  Traditionally it was worn for their coronation but no pontiff has been so crowned since Saint Paul VI (1897-1978; pope 1963-1978) in 1963 and he abandoned its use after the Second Vatican Council (Vatican II, 1962-1965).  The name tiara refers to the entire headgear and it has used a three-tiered form since a third crown was added during the Avignon Papacy (1309–1378).  It's also referred to as the triregnum, triregno or Triple Crown.  In a piece of one- (or perhaps four-) upmanship, Suleiman I (Süleyman the Magnificent, 1494-1566, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire 1520-1566) commissioned from Venice a four tier helmet to show, in addition to the authority claimed by popes, he could add the symbol of his imperial power.  Often put on display as the centrepiece of Ottoman regalia to impress visitors, there's no documentary evidence the sultan ever wore the four layer tiara, crowns not part of the tradition and, fashioned from gold and gemstones, it would anyway have been extraordinarily heavy.

A representation of the triregnum combined with two crossed keys of Saint Peter continues to be used as a symbol of the papacy and appears on papal documents, buildings and insignia.  Remarkably, there’s no certainty about what the three crowns symbolize.  Some modern historians link it to the threefold authority of the pope, (1) universal pastor, (2) universal ecclesiastical jurisdiction and (3) temporal power.  Others, including many biblical scholars, interpret the three tiers as meaning (1) father of princes and kings, (2) ruler of the world and (3) vicar of Christ on Earth, a theory lent credence by the words once used when popes were crowned:  Accipe tiaram tribus coronis ornatam, et scias te esse patrem principum et regum, rectorem orbis in terra vicarium Salvatoris nostri Jesu Christi, cui est honor et gloria in saecula saeculorum (Receive the tiara adorned with three crowns and know that thou art father of princes and kings, ruler of the world, vicar on earth of our Savior Jesus Christ, to whom is honor and glory for ever and ever).

Documents in the Vatican Archive suggest by 1130 the papal tiara had been modified to become a conventional (and temporal) symbol of sovereignty over the Papal States.  In 1301 during a dispute with Philip IV (Philip the Fair, 1268–1314, King of France 1285-1314), Pope Boniface VIII (circa 1230–1303; pope 1294-1303) added a second layer to represent a pope’s spiritual authority being superior to an earthly king’s civil domain.  It was Benedict XII (1285–1342; pope 1334-1342 (as the third Avignon pope)) who in 1342 who added the third, said to symbolize the pope’s moral authority over all civil monarchs, and to reaffirm Avignon’s possession.  A changing world and the loss of the Papal States deprived the triple crown of temporal meaning but the silver tiara with the three golden crowns remained to represent the three powers of the Supreme Pontiff: Sacred Order, Jurisdiction and Magisterium.

Pope Pius XII (1876-1958; pope 1939-1958) in the papal triple tiara, at his coronation, 1939.

Not since 1963 has a pope worn the triple crown.  Then, the newly-elected Pope Saint Paul VI, at the end of his coronation, took the tiara from his head and, in what was said to be a display of humility, placed it on the altar.  In a practical expression of that humility, the tiara was auctioned; the money raised used for missionary work in Africa although, keeping things in house, the winning bidder was the Archdiocese of New York.  Popes Benedict XVI (1927–2022; pope 2005-2013, pope emeritus 2013-2022) and Francis (b 1936; pope since 2013) received tiaras as gifts but neither wore them.  Benedict’s, in a nice ecumenical touch, was made by Bulgarian craftsmen from the Orthodox Church in Sofia, a gesture in the name of Christian unity.  Benedict would have appreciated that, having always kept a candle burning in the window to tempt home the wandering daughter who ran off to Constantinople.

Lindsay Lohan, the wandering daughter who ran off to Dubai in Lynn Kiracofe tiara, W Magazine photo- shoot, April 2005.

Spat

Spat (pronounced spat)

(1) A petty quarrel; a dispute.

(2) A light blow; a slap or smack (now rare).

(3) A classic footwear accessory for outdoor wear (technically an ankle-length gaiter), covering the instep and ankle, designed to protect these areas from mud & stones etc which might be splattered (almost always in the plural).

(4) In automotive design, a piece of bodywork on a car's fender encapsulating the aperture of the wheel-arch, covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre (almost always on the rear) and used variously to reduce drag or as a aesthetic choice.

(5) In aviation, on aircraft with fixed under-carriages, a partial enclosure covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre, designed to reduce drag.

(6) In zoology, a larval oyster or similar bivalve mollusc, applied particularly when one settles to the sea bottom and starts to develop a shell; young oysters collectively, especially seed oysters.

1350-1400: From the Middle English spat (argument, minor scuffle), from the Anglo-Norman spat, of unknown origin but presumed related either to (1) being the simple past tense & past participle of spit or (2) something vaguely imitative of the sound of a dispute in progress.  In use, a spat implies a dispute which is minor and brief.  That doesn’t preclude violence being involved but the word does tend to be applied to matters with few serious consequences but a spat can of course escalate to something severe at which point it ceases to be a spat and becomes a brawl, a fight, a murder, a massacre or whatever the circumstances suggest is appropriate.  Otherwise, a spat is synonymous with words like bickering, brouhaha, disagreement, discord, falling-out, feud, squabble, tiff or argument.

As a descriptor of the short gaiter covering the ankle (which except in technical and commercial use is used only in the plural), use dates from 1779 as an invention of American English and a shortening of the trade-terms spatterdash (or splatterguard) (long gaiter to keep trousers or stockings from being spattered with mud), the construct being spatter + dash (or guard), the former the same idea as the noun dashboard which was a timber construction attached to the front of horse-drawn carriages to protect the passengers from mud or stones thrown up when the beasts were at a dash.  In cars, the use of the term dashboard persisted although the device both shifted rearward (aligned with the cowl (scuttle) & windscreen) and changed in function.  In aircraft where the link to horse-drawn transport didn’t exist, the preferred equivalent term became “instrument panel”.

Stanley Melbourne Bruce (front row, second from left) in spats, official photograph of his first cabinet, Melbourne, 1923.

Spats date from a time when walking in cities could be a messy business, paved surfaces far from universal.  As asphalt and concrete became commonplace in the twentieth century, spats fell from frequent use though there were those who clung to them as a fashion accessory.  Stanley Melbourne Bruce (1883–1967; prime minister of Australia 1923-1929) liked spats and wore them as late as the 1940s but historians of fashion note it's said nothing was more influential in their demise than George V (1865–1936; King of the United Kingdom 1910-1936) eschewing them after 1926.  They days, they're seen only in places like the Royal Enclosure at Ascot or smart weddings although variations are still part of some ceremonial full-dress military uniforms.  Technically, a spat probably can be called a “short” or “ankle-length” gaiter but it’s wise to use “spat” because gaiters are understood as extending higher towards the knee.

On the Jaguar 2.4 & 3.4 (1955-1959, top row; later retrospectively named Mark 1), full-sized spats were standard equipment when the standard wheels were fitted but some owners used the cut-down versions (available in at least two designs) fitted when the optional wire wheels were chosen.  For use in competition, almost all drivers removed the spats.  The Mark 2 (bottom row;1959-1969) was never fitted with the full-size units but many used slimmer version available from both the factory and third-party suppliers; again, in competition, spats in any shape were usually discarded.  On the big Jaguars, spats (which had already been scalloped) disappeared after production of the Mark IX ended in 1961.    

On cars, it wasn’t until the 1930s that spats (which some English manufacturers called "aprons" and in the US they came to be called “fender-skirts” though the original slang was “pants”) began to appear as the interest in streamlining and aerodynamic efficiency grew and it was in this era they became also a styling fad which, for better and worse, would last half a century.  They’d first been seen in the 1920s as aerodynamic enhancements on speed record vehicles and some avant-garde designers experimented with enveloping bodywork but it was only late in the decade that the original style of separate mudguards (later called cycle-fenders) gave way to more integrated coachwork where the wheel-arch was an identifiable feature in the modern sense.  Another issue was that the early tyres were prone to wear and damage and needed frequently to be changed, hence the advantage of making access to the wheels un-restricted.  In the 1930s, as streamlining evolved as both a means to reduce drag (thus increasing performance and reducing fuel consumption) and as a styling device, the latter doubtlessly influenced by the former.  On road cars, spats tended to be used only at the rear because of the need to provide sufficient clearance for the front wheels to turn although there were manufacturers (Delahaye, Nash and others) which extended use to the front and while this necessitated compromise (notably the turning circle and cooling of the brakes), there were some memorable art-deco creations.

The aerodynamic advantages were certainly real, attested by the tests conducted during the 1930s by Mercedes-Benz and Auto-Union, both factories using spats front and rear on their land-speed record vehicles, extending the use to road cars although later Mercedes-Benz would admit the 10% improvement claimed for the 1937 540K Autobahn-kurier (highway cruiser) was just “a calculation” and it’s suspected even this was more guesswork than math.  Later, Jaguar’s evaluation of the ideal configuration to use when testing the 1949 XK120 on Belgium roads revealed the rear spats added about 3-4 mph to top speed though they precluded the use of the lighter wire wheels and did increase the tendency of the brakes to overheat in severe use so, like many things in engineering, it was a trade-off.

1958, 1959 & 1960 Chevrolet Impalas.  Not actually wildly popular when new, accessory spats now often appear on restored cars as a “period accessory”.

In the post-war years, concerns with style rather than specific aerodynamic outcomes probably prevailed.  In the US especially, the design motifs borrowed from aircraft and missiles (where aerodynamic efficiency was important and verified in wind tunnels) were liberally applied to automobiles but in some cases, although they actually increased drag, they anyway appeared on production cars because they lent the desired look.  Because they added to the cost of production, spats tended often to be used on the more expensive ranges, this association encouraging after-market accessory makers to produce them, often for models where they’d never been available as a factory fitting or option.  Although now usually regarded as naff (at least), there’s still some demand because they are fitted sometimes (often in conjunction with that other acquired taste period-accessory, the "Continental" spare-tyre kit) by those restoring cars from the era although the photographic record does suggest that when the vehicles were new, such things were vanishingly rare.

Spats vanished from cars made in the UK and Europe except among manufacturers (such as Citroën) which made a fetish of conspicuous aerodynamics and in the US, where they endured, increasingly they appeared in cut-down form, exposing most of the wheel with only the upper part of the tyre concealed.  By the mid 1990s spats appeared only on some of the larger US cars (those by then also down-sized from their mid-seventies peak) and none survived into the new century, the swansong the 1996 Cadillac DeVille.  However, the new age of efficiency did see a resurgence of interest with spats (some actually integrated into the bodywork rather than being detachable) used on some electric and hybrid vehicles where every possible way of optimizing the use of energy is deployed.

1 1937 Mercedes-Benz W125 Rekordwagen

2 1937 Mercedes-Benz 540K Autobahn-kurier

3 1937 Auto-Union Type C Stromlinie

4 1939 Mercedes-Benz W154 Rekordwagen

5 1939 Mercedes-Benz T-80

6 1940 Mercedes-Benz 770K Cabriolet B

9 1970 Porsche 917 LH

8 1988 Jaguar Jaguar XJR9

Pioneered by Mercedes-Benz and Auto-Union during the 1930s when the factory racing programmes were being subsidized by the Nazi regime as a national prestige project, spats were used on the specially tuned cars used for land-speed record attempts though not on the circuits where the air-flow was needed for brake cooling.  The use on the road cars was sometimes an overt allusion to the quest for aerodynamic efficiency such as those added to the streamlined 540K Autobahn-kurier (highway cruiser) but their use on big machines like the 770K was simply as a styling tool.  The highest evolution of the 1930’s theme was the aero-engined T-80, intended to lay siege to the world Land-Speed Record (LSR).  Powered by a 3,500 hp (2,600 kW), 44.5 litre (2,716 cubic inch) Daimler-Benz DB 603 inverted V12 (most of which were supplied to the Luftwaffe), calculations (all then by slide-rule) suggested it should reach 750 km/h (466 mph) on a 10 kilometre (6 mile) stretch of the Autobahn, closed to other traffic for the occasion.  Scheduled for January 1940, the outbreak of war meant the T-80 never ran.  In the years since, partial or complete spats have often been used on high-speed vehicles in competition.

1970 Chaparral 2J. 

The most extraordinary vindication of the concept was probably the 1970 Chaparral 2J, built for the Canadian-American Challenge Cup (the Can-Am, a series for unlimited displacement sports cars under the FIA’s minimalist Group 7 rules).  Although using a similar frame and power-plant (the all aluminum, 427 cubic inch (7.0 litre) Chevrolet V8 (ZL1)) as most of its competition, it differed in that the bodywork was rather more rectilinear, the transmission was semi-automatic and, most intriguingly, the use of two small auxiliary engines (Rockwell JLO 247 cm³ two-stroke, two-cylinder units which usually powered snowmobiles).  Unlike the auxiliary engines used in modern hybrids which provide additional or alternative power, what the Rockwells did was drive two fans (borrowed from the M-109 Howitzer, the US Army’s self-propelled 155 mm (6 inch) cannon) which pumped air from underneath at 9650 cfm (cubic feet per minute) (273 m3 per minute), literally sucking the 2J to the road, the technique enhanced by a Lexan (a thermoplastic polymer) skirt which partially sealed the gap between the shell and the road.  The rear spats (integrated into the body-shell) were part of the system, offering not only their usual contribution to reduced drag but increasing the extent of the suction generated by the extractor fans.  The 2J was immediately faster than the competition but the suction system proved fragile although, as a proof of concept it worked and it was clear that only development was needed to debug things.  Unfortunately, innovation and high speeds have always appalled the FIA (the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile which has for decades been international sport’s dopiest regulatory body) and they banned the 2J.  Really, the FIA should give up on motorsport and offer their services to competitive crochet where they can focus on things like pins and needles not being too sharp.

1949 Delahaye 175-S Saoutchik roadster (left), 1967 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special  (centre) & 2016 Rolls-Royce Vision Next 100 (electric) (right).

Fashions change and spats in the post-war years became unfashionable except in the odd market segment which appealed to an older demographic and even there, as the years were by, they were cut-away, revealing more of the wheel & tyre but they never entirely went away and designers with big computers now don’t even need even bigger wind tunnels to optimize airflow and spats have been displayed which are mounted vertically, some even responding to dynamic need by shifting location or direction.

Flown first in 1938 and named after the Spartan admiral Lysander (circa 467-395 BC), the Westland Lysander was a British army co-operation and communications aircraft used extensively during the Second World War (1939-1945).  Although it couldn’t match the extraordinary STOL (short Take-Off & Landing) performance of the its German contemporary the Fieseler Fi 156 Storch, it was capable, robust and had a good enough short-field capability to perform valuable service throughout the conflict.  Like many aircraft with a fixed undercarriage, partially enveloping spats were fitted to reduce drag but those on the Lysander had the unusual feature of being fitted with their own removable spats (similar to those used on automobiles).  Once these were dismounted, assemblies could be fitted to mount either Browning machine guns or stub wings which could carry light bombs or supply canisters.  The arrangement was popular with ground crew because the accessibility made servicing easy and pilots appreciated the low placement because the change in weight distribution had little adverse effect on handling characteristics.

Whilom

Whilom (pronounced hwahy-luhm or wahy-luhm)

(1) Former; erstwhile (adjective); at one time; at time past (adverb) (both archaic).

(2) While (obsolete in general use but sometimes deployed as a literary device).

Circa 1200: Middle English from the pre-900 Old English hwīlum (at times), dative case of hwīl (while) and related to Old High German hwīlōm and German weiland (of old; formerly).  The meaning by circa 1200 was “at time past” and whilom was a commonly used conjunction from the 1610s and the spelling was for whatever reason the survivor of a few variations, something not unusual in the evolution of language.  In the Old English hwīlum was an adverb meaning "at times; in times passed" and that sense was picked up in the Middle English, the meaning “formerly” acquired in the twelfth century.  For centuries a staple a staple of educated English, use of the adverb dwindled toward the end of the nineteenth century but there was a last gasp, a brief popularity between the end of the Victorian era (1901) and the outbreak of World War I (1914-1918).  Whilom was drawn from Old English at a time when the language was heavily inflected, adjectives, nouns, and verbs adopting different endings depending on the job they were doing.  Whilom (then spelt hwilom), was the dative plural of hwil (which evolved into the Modern English while) but as English gradually abandoned its inflections, the word became a fossil, its ending stuck there permanently. 

The adjective whilom is one of four (the others being erstwhile, quondam and umquhile) with the same meaning (formerly; in the past) and it’s now flagged by most dictionaries as “obsolete”, more traditional editors preferring “archaic”.  The adjective appeared in the fifteenth century, intriguingly with the meaning "deceased" and it’s presumably this which influenced the meaning-shift towards "former" which by the nineteenth century universal although for those who wish to avoid “dead” but find “passed on” a bit naff, whilom might offer promise.

Whilom special friends, Samantha Ronson & Lindsay Lohan, Charlotte Ronson Spring 2009 Fashion Show, September 2008, New York City.

JM Barrie (1860-1937) used it in The Little White Bird (1903), writing “Whom did I see but the whilom nursery governess sitting on a chair in one of these gardens” but even then “former” and “erstwhile” were beginning to be preferred although, perhaps predictably, that made it appeal to PG Wodehouse (1881-1975) who put in Heavy Weather (1933).  It’s seen now only in that graveyard of the linguistically anachronistic: the literary novel.

Belt

Belt (pronounced belt)

(1) A band of flexible material, as leather or cord, used for encircling the waist, historically to in some way secure a garment (coat or trousers) but also as a decorative or functional (tool belt, utility belt, gun belt etc) item.

(2) In any context, any encircling or transverse band, strip, or stripe.

(3) In geography, an elongated region having distinctive properties or characteristics.

(4) In machinery, an endless flexible band passing about two or more pulleys, used to transmit motion from one pulley to the other or others or to convey materials and objects.

(5) In (usually military) ballistics, a cloth strip with loops or a series of metal links with grips, for holding cartridges fed into an automatic gun.

(6) A band of leather or webbing, worn around the waist and used as a support for weapons, ammunition etc.

(7) In naval architecture, a series of armor plates forming part of the hull of a warship.

(8) In construction, a broad, flexible strip of rubber, canvas, wood, etc., moved along the surface of a fresh concrete pavement to put a finish on it after it has been floated.

(9) A road, railroad, or the like, encircling an urban center to handle peripheral traffic (as beltway also used in political discourse).

(10) In slang, a hard blow or hit (often in the forms belted or belting), either a person or an object (the latter noted especially in bat & ball sports).

(11) In slang, a shot of liquor, especially as swallowed in one gulp (often in the form “a quick belt”).

(12) In tyre technology, strip of material used in tyre construction, placed between the carcass and the tread for reinforcement (in the forms steel-belted & fabric-belted).

(13) In sport, in a color based ascendency (brown, black etc), a ranking system in various martial arts).

(14) In sport (notably boxing), a form of trophy worn by the holder of a title (WBO Heavyweight Belt, IBF Cruiserweight Belt etc).

(15) As seat belt, an apparatus used in air, sea & land vehicles to secure a passenger, pilot, driver etc in place.

(16) To gird or furnish with a belt.

(17) To surround or mark as if with a belt or band.

(18) In slang, as “belt out”, loudly (though not necessarily pleasingly) to sing or, as “belting along”, rapidly to proceed.

(19) In cricket, as “belter”, a description of a placid pitch ideal for batting and offering little assistance to bowlers.

(20) In astronomy, a collection of small bodies (such as asteroids) which orbit a star; one of certain girdles or zones on the surface of the planets Jupiter and Saturn, supposed to be of the nature of clouds.

(21) In baseball, the part of the strike zone at the height of the batter's waist.

(22) In music, a vocal tone produced by singing with chest voice above the break (or passaggio), in a range typically sung in head voice.

(23)To invest a person with a belt as part of a formal ceremony (even one where as physical belt is not involved or even a historic part).

Pre 1000: From the Middle English belt, from the Old English belt (belt; girdle; broad, flat strip or strap of material used to encircle the waist), from the Proto-Germanic baltijaz (girdle, belt) (source also of the Old High German balz, the Old Norse balti & belti and the Swedish bälte), an early Germanic borrowing from the Latin balteus (belt, girdle, sword-belt) which may be of Etruscan origin.  It was cognate with the Scots belt (belt), the Dutch belt, the German Balz (belt), the Danish bælte (belt), the Swedish bälte (belt, cincture, girdle, zone) and the Icelandic belti (belt).    Synonyms vary according to context including circle, girdle, surround (to encircle), buckle, fasten, strap (to fasten a belt); bash, clobber, smack, wallop. strap, thrash, whip (to hit with a belt); gulp, slurp, guzzle (rapidly to drink); speed, whiz, zoom (rapidly to move).  Belt is a noun & verb, belted is a verb & adjective, belting is a noun, verb & adjective and belter is a noun; the noun plural is belts.

Lindsay Lohan in trench coat, the belt tied and not buckled.

The verb emerged in the early fourteenth century in the sense of “to fasten or gird with a belt” and was derived from the noun.  The meaning "to thrash (as with a belt)" was from the 1640s while the general sense of "to hit, thrash" seems not to have been used until 1838. The colloquial meaning "to sing or speak vigorously" dates from 1949 and was first used in the US, south of the Mason-Dixon Line.  As a development, the noun meaning "a blow or stroke" dates from 1885.  The transferred sense of "broad stripe encircling something with its ends joined" dates from the 1660s while that of a "broad strip or tract" of any sort, without notion of encircling (as in the “wheat belt") emerged by 1808.  As a mark of rank or distinction (sometimes associated with a specific honor in the form of a belt or sash), use began in the mid-fourteenth century and in pugilism, boxing championship belts were first awarded in 1812.  The use in mechanical engineering (drive belts, pulley belts, serpentine belts etc) was first noted in 1795.  The sword-belt dates from the early fourteenth century while the Old English had sweordfætels (sword-belt).  The adjective beltless came from the fashion industry to describe a style without a belt and was from 1854, the belt-loop (through which a belt passes) noted the following year (although such things had existed for centuries).  In the sub-culture of the trench coat, the military tradition was always to use the buckle to secure the belt while true fashionistas prefer to tie, bucklers thought a bit naff.

Lindsay Lohan demonstrates the possibilities offered by belts.

Many languages adopted belt including those of the Raj, the Hindi being बेल्ट (belṭ), the Bengali বেল্ট (belṭ) & the Urdu بیلٹ‎ (belṭ); Afrikaans picked up belt from the Dutch and other variations were the Assamese বেল্ট (belto), the Irish beilt (Welsh & Scots picked up belt), the Japanese: ベルト (beruto) and the Oriya ବେଲ୍ଟ୍ (belṭ).  If used as a proper noun (a surname or place-name), it appears always with an initial capital.  In astronomy, there’s no initial capital when used as a general descriptor but one is used when referring to a specific region (eg as an ellipsis of Main Asteroid Belt).  The Belt and Road Initiative (BRI, or B&R and known originally as One Belt One Road (OBOR)) of the People’s Republic of China (PRC) is a trans-national infrastructure project (the strategy of which depends on who is providing the interpretation) dating from 2013 and integral to the PRC’s foreign policy.  As physical infrastructure, it’s analogous with the old Silk Road, the ancient trade route which linked China with the West, carrying goods and (more dangerously) ideas between the two great civilizations of Rome and China.

Lindsay Lohan beltless  (or un-belted).

In idiomatic use, “below the belt” means “not in accord with the principles of fairness, decency, or good sportsmanship” and was drawn from the rules of boxing where restrictions were maintained on blows to the genitals.  To have something “under one's belt” is to have something in one’s literal or figurative (a qualification or achievement) possession.  To tighten one’s belt is “to be more frugal; to undergo hardship patiently” and is often used as an injunction by politicians (directed at others).  Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) invented “tighten the belten” for the faux German used in his film The Great Dictator (1940).  The use to describe specific regions can be literal (wheat belt, corn belt etc), meteorological (sun-belt, snow-belt) or more figurative (mortgage belt, Bible belt etc), the latter probably more accurately described as “zones” but the meaning is well-understood and some have emerged recently (such as rust belt which refers to once vibrant industrial areas now in economic decline).  A beltway is a road system which encircles (not necessarily in a circular design) a city and is intended to reduce congestion in the inner region; the phrase “beyond the beltway” is US political slang to differentiate the interests and priorities of those “within the beltway” of Washington DC (ie the political class (executive government, the congress, the upper reaches of the civil service etc)) and the general population.  The US term references Interstate 495 around Washington DC (the Capital Beltway, opened in 1964), the figurative use (the culture of the political class) dating from 1978, exclusively in the negative.

Lindsay Lohan demonstrates more possibilities offered by belts.

Seat belts, although began in any volume to be fitted only in the 1960s although they’d been used in ships (both by fishermen and in the navy) and in the early day of aviation without ever becoming standardized fittings although, in a sense, as a safety restraint they were known even in Antiquity.  In Greek mythology, the Sirens were deadly creatures who used their lyrical and earthly feminine charms to lure sailors to their death; attracted by their enchanting music and voices, seafarers would sail their ships too close to the rocky coast of the Siren’s island and be shipwrecked.  Not untypically for the tales from antiquity, the sirens are said to have had many homes.  The Romans said they lived on some small islands called Sirenum scopuli while later authors place them variously on the islands of Anthemoessa, on Cape Pelorum, on the islands of the Sirenuse, near Paestum, or in Capreae.  All were places with rocky coasts and tall cliffs.  It was Odysseus who most famously escaped the sirens.  Longing to hear their songs but having no wish to be ship-wrecked , he had his sailors fill their ears with beeswax, rendering them deaf and to be certain, Odysseus ordered them to tie him to the mast, thereby inventing the seat-belt.  Sailing past, when he heard their enticing voices, he ordered his men to release him but they tightened the knots, not releasing him till the danger had passed.  Some writers claimed the Sirens were fated to die if a man heard their singing and escaped them and that as Odysseus sailed away they flung themselves into the water and died.

Lindsay Lohan demonstrates still more possibilities offered by belts.

Knocking back a bracer: Crooked Hillary Clinton enjoys a quick belt of Crown Royal Bourbon Whiskey, Bronko's restaurant, Crown Point, Indiana, Saturday 12 April, 2008.

In the late 1940s, the rising death toll attracted interest but few cars were at the time fitted with seat-belts and research was difficult with such small sample sizes although it was indicated there was some positive although instances were also noted of injuries being caused by the belts’ then primitive and unregulated design and it was these findings which encouraged the first “inertial reel” (retractable) designs.  A couple of US manufacturers during the 1950s dabbled with the concept, either installing seat belts as standard or offering them as an extra-cost option but the take-up rate was low and some buyers ever returned the cars to dealers to have them removed.

The familiar modern three-point (lap & sash) belt evolved in the late 1950s with much input from US designers but it was Swedish manufacturers which first made them a standard fitting, Scandinavia being often dark and icy, drivers sharing the roads with large elk.  The modern seatbelt design (conceptually unchanged to this day) is credited to Swedish mechanical engineer Nils Bohlin (1920–2002) who was employed by Volvo which made them a standard fitting in 1959, following the example of Saab which had added them the previous year.  During the 1960s, US states gradually imposed a requirement they be fitted until, in 1969, federal law mandated the rule for all cars sold in the country.  The laws requiring them actually to be worn proved more difficult to implement but other countries quickly made both the fitment and wearing of seat-belts compulsory, initially only for those seated in the front seat(s) but before long it extended to all seats.

Instruction sheet for Child Bed (1961 Chevrolet Corvair), Chevrolet Division of General Motors (GM) part-number 985359.

Attitudes to motor vehicle safety were different in 1959 when Chevrolet first started making the Corvair (1959-1969).  At the time, apart from improving the quality of roads (which actually meant higher speeds) the government had done little about either safety or pollution but both the rising highway death toll and the worsening air quality in cities was attracting attention and things would soon be different, decades of legislation soon to unfold.  The Corvair however was a product of a substantially unregulated age and in that spirit Chevrolet thoughtfully offered the “child bed” as an accessory so one’s baby could sleep (unsecured) on the parcel shelf beneath the rear window, the additional benefits of the placement said to be that being rear-engined, the warmth and soothing vibration from the engine gently would lull the infant to sleep.  It was another world.

An early Chevrolet Corvair with swing axles, swinging.

The Corvair was doomed by decisions made even before production began.  It was anyway the twilight of the rear-engined era and although swing axles in Europe proved surprisingly persistent (usually because the design provided a relatively cheap way to implement an independent rear suspension) few installed them on a car as heavy and powerful as the Corvair.  Mercedes-Benz, which was an adherent (despite their experience with the superior De Dion layout) was still producing a handful of 600s (the W100 Grosser) with swing axles as late as 1981 but the Germans tamed the behavior with special anti-squat & anti-dive geometry as well as a compensating centre spring.  Chevrolet did not and with a weight distribution which was even more exaggerated rearward by its relatively heavy and long engine, the Corvair’s handling could be unpredictable, something which the engineers wanted to alleviate by fitting a handful of parts (the cost under US$40) but this the accountants vetoed.  The ensuing crashes, death toll and law suits attracted the interest of consumer lawyer Ralph Nader (b 1934) who wrote Unsafe at Any Speed (1965), a critique on the industry generally although in the public mind it’s always been most associated with the failings of the Corvair which the author made the subject of the opening chapter.

The Corvair before and after.  GM applied a fix in 1963 which rectified the worst of the characteristics and a full re-design was undertaken and released in 1965.  For the Corvair's reputation it was too late.

Actually, the problems as described applied only to the Corvairs built between 1959-1963 but the damage was done, neither its reputation or sales figures ever recovered and it was only the corporation’s desire to save face which saw the much improved car restyled for 1966, production lingering on until 1969 although it may be Nader’s book actually prolonged things, competition in the compact sector notably more intense that in 1960s.  It was unfortunate because the restyled Corvair was one of the better-looking machines of the era, only the truncated length of the bodywork forward of the cowl detracting from the elegance.

The lovely, Italianesque lines of the second generation Corvair (1966-1969).

Curiously, after its demise came a coda.  In 1970, responding to pressure from Nader, the Nixon administration commissioned a study comparing the 1963 Corvair with five “similar” vehicles and a report was in 1972 issued by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) which concluded, inter alia, the Corvair’s handling and propensity to roll was comparable with that of “other light domestic cars.”  Nader dismissed the study as “a shoddy, internally contradictory whitewash” and accused the NHTSA of using “biased testing procedures and model selection.”  He noted they assessed on the 1963 Corvair which Chevrolet significantly had modified to correct the deficiencies found in those built earlier.  The Nixon administration ignored him, presumably taking the view that “what was good for General Motors was good for the country”.

Lindsay Lohan demonstrates yet more possibilities offered by belts.