Doily

Doily (pronounced doi-lee)

(1) A small ornamental mat, historically in embroidery or of lace (the style later emulated in plastic or paper), placed under plates, vases etc.  In addition to any decorative value, their function is to protect surfaces (such as timber) from spills and scratches.

(2) A small napkin, intended to be used for the dessert course (archaic).

(3) A visually similar circular piece of lace, worn as a head-covering by some Jewish & Christian women.

(4) A wool fabric (obsolete).

Circa 1714:  The small, decorative mats were named after the linen drapery on London’s Strand, run by the Doily family in the late seventeenth century.  They were doubtless one of many products offered in the shop (and probably a minor line) but for whatever reason they were the one which picked up the name and remain admired by some while dismissed by others as kitsch.  Doily is a noun (and historically an adjective); the noun plural is doilies.

Traditionally, most doilies were circular in shape and white or beige but many which were bleached white became beige or grey after repeated launderings.  Hotels and cafés often use the paper versions atop plates on which sandwiches, slices of cake and such are served,  This isn't always ideal because paper chaff (from stamping the holes) sometimes remains partially attached (al la the "hanging chads" made infamous in the Florida vote-count during the 2000 US presidential election), only to become detached and end up in the food.      

The alternative spellings were (and in some cases still are) doiley, doilie, doyly, or doyley, sometimes used deliberately as trade-names.  Various sources claim the family name of those running the eponymous London linen drapery was Doily or Doyly but there’s evidence to suggest it really was Doily, one example from Eustace Budgell (1686–1737), an English politician & writer who was a cousin of Joseph Addison (1672–1719), poet, playwright, essayist and fellow parliamentarian, remembered as the co-founder of The Spectator (1711-1712) magazine.  Budgell wrote dozens of pieces for the magazine (unrelated to the current The Spectator published since 1828 which borrowed the name) and in 1712 one (capitalized as originally printed) recorded:

“The famous Doily is still in everyone’s Memory, who raised a Fortune by finding out Materials for such Stuffs as might at once be cheap and genteel”.

That was a reference to the summer-weight woolen clothing which was much favored at the time because it was comfortable, inexpensive and stylish, a combination of virtues which sometimes still eludes manufacturers of many products.  Doily was attached as an adjective to the distinctive garments in the 1780s as “doily suit” & “doily stuffs” and it was only in 1711 the term was picked-up for the small ornamental napkins used at formal dinners when dessert was served.  The “doily-napkins” were literally sold as such (there were many others but the term became generic) and were available in a variety of forms, some quite elaborate and because these resembled the small mats the shop also sold, they came to lend their name to the style, regardless of whether or not purchased from Mr Doily’s shop.  The doilies in their familiar modern form seem first to have been so described in 1714 although it may be they’d been on sale for many years.

Addison is remembered for many reasons, one of which was his once widely performed play Cato (1712) which, based on the final days of Marcus Porcius Cato Uticensis (known variously in history as “Cato the Younger” & “Cato of Utica”), a conservative Roman senator in the late Republic who died by his own hand, explored issues such as the conflict between individual liberty and the powers of the state.  The work suited the zeitgeist of pre-revolution America and many of its lines became phrases the revolutionaries would make famous in the War of Independence (1775-1783).  Cato enjoyed a macabre coda when Budgell, beset with problems, took his own life by throwing himself into the Thames, his suicide note reading: “What Cato did, and Addison approved, cannot be wrong.”

Because plates come in different shapes, so do doilies and there’s no inherent limitation in design although at some point, a construction ceases to be a doily and becomes a tablecloth.

Visually, doilies are strikingly similar to the head-coverings used in a number of Jewish traditions which some Christian women wear in accordance with scriptural dictate:

1 Corinthians 11:1-13: King James Version (KJV 1611)

1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.

3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.

5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.

6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.

11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?

It’s not one of biblical passages much approved by feminists and nor do they like 1 Corinthians 14:34–35: As in all the churches of the saints, women should be silent in the churches.  For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as the law also says.  If there is anything they desire to know, let them ask their husbands at home.  For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

Designer colors are also available and because doilies are a popular thing with hobbyists, the available spectrum is close to limitless and some are variegated.

The origin of the surname Doily was Anglo-Norman, from d'Œuilly (Ouilly), the name of several places in Calvados in the Normandy region, from Old French oeil (eye) and Doiley, Doilie, Doyly & Doyley were all Englishized forms of d'Ouilly and its French variants.  In England, apart from the noted draper, the best known was Richard D'Oyly Carte (1844–1901), the theatrical impresario who for years produced the collaborative works of WS Gilbert (1836-1911) & composer Arthur Sullivan (1842-1900) which came to be known as “Savoy operas”, the name derived from Carte’s Savoy Theatre in which many were first performed.  The D’Oyly part of his name was a forename (he was christened Richard D’Oyly Carte) which he used because his father, Richard Carte (1808-1891), was already well-known in the theatrical business and “Dick Carte” presumably wasn’t thought appropriate but “D’Oyly Carte” anyway became cockney rhyming slang for “fart” and in informal use it was later joined by “doily dyke” a synonym of “lipstick lesbian”, the alliterative terms used to contrast a feminine lesbian with those not (the "butch lesbians").  Except within certain sub-sets of the LGBTQQIAAOP community, both are now proscribed as microaggressions.  The rhyming slang may still be used.

"Japanese car doilies" (more correctly antimacassars & side-curtains) in Toyota Century V12s.

Apparently as culturally obligatory in Tokyo taxis as white gloves used to be for the drivers (though many still follow the tradition), the inevitably white partial seat covers are often referred to as “Japanese seat doilies” but technically, when used to protect the surfaces of chairs, they are antimacassars, the construct being anti- (from the Ancient Greek ἀντι- (anti-) (against, hostile to, contrasting with the norm, opposite of, reverse (also "like, reminiscent of")) +‎ macassar (an oil from the ylang ylang tree and once used to style the hair, the original sources of which were the jungles of the Dutch East Indies (modern-day Indonesia), the product shipped from the port of Macassar.

Fifty years of “continuity with change”: 1967 Toyota Century V8 (left) and 2017 Toyota Century V12 (right).

Produced over three generations (1967-1996; 1997-2017 & since 2018), the Toyota Century is the company’s flagship in the Japanese domestic market (JDM).  Although the Lexus marque was invented to rectify the perception of a “prestige deficit” in the RoW (rest of the world), models from the range were introduced in the home market only in 2005 and the Century has maintained its position at the top of the Toyota tree.  The first generation used a number of Toyota V8 engines which grew in capacity to reach an untypically large (for the JDM) 4.0 litres (245 cubic inch) but the most admired were the 1997-2017 cars (a few hundred of 9500-odd built exported) which used a 5.0 litre (305 cubic inch) V12 unique to the Century.  For political reasons, the factory under-rated the power output of the V12 but it was anyway designed and tuned for smoothness and silence, achieving both to an extent few have matched.  Like the memorable “suicide door” Lincolns of the 1960s, the Century’s external appearance changed little and although there were updates, it needed a trained eye to tell one from another and the 2023 cars still maintain a distinct resemblance to the 1967 original although for various reasons, since 2018 there’s been a reversion to eight-cylinder engines, a 5.0 litre version of the Lexus V8 fitted, augmented with electric motors.  Offered with a choice of leather or cloth interior trim, “Japanese seat doilies” are regularly seen in the Century.

2006 Toyota Century Royal (left) and the 2019 Toyota Century four-door cabriolet built for the Japanese Imperial Household (right).  

The Japanese Imperial Household in 2006 requested Toyota provide a fleet of cars for the royal family and four limousines and one hearse were constructed.  Based on the second generation Century (G50), the range was known as the Century Royal and received the special designation G51.  Following traditional English coach-building practice, the rear compartment was trimmed in a wool cloth while the front used leather and an unusual touch was the fitting of internal granite steps.  The factory released a number of details about the construction but were predictably vague about the “security measures” noting only they were an "integral" part of the design and it’s believed these included Kevlar & metal internal skins (as protection from gunfire or explosive devices) plus a multi-laminate, bullet-proof glass.  Another Century was added to the royal mews in 2019, this time a one-off four-door cabriolet parade car (both Toyota and the palace preferred "convertible").  Although of late heads of state have tended to avoid open-top motoring, while there’s a long Japanese tradition of assassinating politicians, during the last few hundred years emperors have been safe (the rumors about the death in 1912 dismissed by most historians) so the palace presumably thought this a calculated risk.  All the same, it’s doubtful a prime-minister will be invited to sit alongside while percolating through city streets, their faith in Japanese marksmanship unlikely to be as high as their belief His Majesty won't be the target.  It’s believed the ceremonial fleet of the royal mews is now made exclusively by Toyota, ending the use of foreign manufactured cars such as the Mercedes-Benz 770Ks (W07, 1930-1938) and a Rolls-Royce Corniche (1990), the latter the previous open-top parade vehicle.  When in use, the royal cars do not display number plates but are instead adorned with a gold-plated, stylized chrysanthemum, the symbol an allusion to the Chrysanthemum Throne (皇位, kōi (imperial seat)), the throne of the Emperor of Japan.  As far as is known, the cars in the royal mews are not fitted with “Japanese seat doilies”. 

Lindsay Lohan in doily-themed top over pink bikini, Mykonos, Greece, August 2014.

Lipstick

Lipstick (pronounced lip-stik)

(1) A crayon-like oil-based cosmetic used in coloring the lips, usually in a tubular container.  Lip-gloss & lip-liner (hyphenated and not) are the companion products whereas lip balm is a non-cosmetic product to prevent drying & cracking of the skin.

(2) As “lipstick tree”, the shrub Bixa orellana, native to Mexico and northern South America.  The common name is derived from (1) the arils (tissue surrounding the seed) being the orange-red colourant annatto and (2) the texture & consistency of the arils recalling that of commercially manufactured lipstick.

(3) In slang, the canine penis.

(4) In certain LGBTQQIAAOP circles, as “lipstick lesbian”, a lesbian who displays traditional, conventional feminine characteristics (opposed to a “butch lesbian”).  Some guides to such things note (1) the term can be a slur if used in the wrong context and (2) in some sub-groups a “lipstick lesbian” is one attracted to “other feminine women”, as opposed to a “femme” (a feminine lesbian attracted to butch lesbians).  The alternative to “lipstick lesbian” is “doily dyke” but both alliterative forms should be used with care because in most contexts they are probably now at least microaggressions.

(5) In economics, as “lipstick effect”, a theory which suggests that during economic downturns, consumers display a greater propensity to purchase low cost luxury goods (such as premium lipsticks).

(6) To apply lipstick to; to paint with lipstick.

1875-1880: A coining in US English, the construct being lip + stick.  Lip was from the Middle English lippe, from the Old English lippa & lippe (lip; one of the two sides of the mouth), from the Proto-West Germanic lippjō (lip), from the Proto-Germanic lepjan & lepô, from the primitive Indo-European leb- (to hang loosely, droop, sag).  The Germanic forms were the source also of the Old Frisian lippa & West Frisian lippe, the Middle Dutch lippe, the Dutch lip, the Old High German lefs, the German Lippe & Lefze, the Swedish läpp, the Norwegian leppe and the Danish læbe.  However, some etymologists have questioned the Indo-European origin of the western European forms and the Latin labium, though it’s said they agree the Latin and Germanic words “probably are in some way related” and the Latin may be a substratum word.  The French lippe was an Old French borrowing from a Germanic source.  Stick was from the Middle English stikke (stick, rod, twig), from the Old English sticca (twig or slender branch from a tree or shrub (also “rod, peg, spoon”), from the Proto-West Germanic stikkō, from the Proto-Germanic stikkô (pierce, prick), from the primitive Indo-European verb stig, steyg & teyg- (to pierce, prick, be sharp).  It was cognate with the Old Norse stik, the Middle Dutch stecke & stec, the Old High German stehho, the German Stecken (stick, staff), the Saterland Frisian Stikke (stick) and the West Flemish stik (stick).  The word stick was applied to many long, slender objects closely or vaguely resembling twigs or sticks including by the early eighteenth century candles, dynamite by 1869, cigarettes by 1919 (the slang later extended to “death sticks” & “cancer sticks).  The first known use of “lipstick” in advertizing was in 1877 (although some sources claim this was really a “lip balm” and lipstick (in the modern understanding) didn’t appear for another three years.  “Liquid lipstick” was first sold in 1938 and by the mid 1960s variations of the substance in a variety of liquid and semi-solid forms was available in pots, palettes and novel applicators.  Lipstick is a noun & verb and lipsticking & lipsticked are verbs; the noun plural is lipsticks.

Dior Rouge Lipstick #999.

In economics, the “lipstick effect” is a theory which suggests there is an identifiable phenomenon in consumer behavior in which there’s an increased propensity to purchase small, affordable luxury goods (“designer lipsticks” the classic example) during economic downturns as an alternative to buying larger, more expensive items.  The idea is that as a consumer’s disposable income contracts, the lure of luxury goods remains so although the purchase of the $4000 handbag may be deferred, the $50 lipstick may immediately be chosen, an indulgence which to some extent satisfies the yearning.  The theory is not part of mainstream economics and has been criticized for being substantially impressionistic although more reliable data such as the volume of chocolate sold by supermarkets had been mapped against aggregate economic indicators and this does suggest sales of non-essential items can increase during periods of general austerity.

Beauty Bakerie Lip Whip Matte Liquid Lipstick in Mon Cheri.

The phrase “put lipstick on a pig” is a clipped version of “even if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig” and it means that cosmetically altering something in the hope of making it seem more appealing than it is doesn’t alter its fundamental characteristics and flaws.  It’s a saying in the vein of “you can't make a silk purse of a sow's ear”, “you can’t polish a turd”, “mutton dressed as lamb” & “old wine in a new bottle” and is often used of products which have been updated in a way which superficially makes them appear “improved” while leaving them functionally unchanged; it’s often used of cars and political platforms, both products which have often relied on spin and advertising to disguise the essential ugliness beneath the surface.  It’s been part of American political rhetoric for decades and usually passes unnoticed but did stir a brief controversy when Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017) used: “You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.” as part of his critique of the “change” theme in the campaign of John McCain (1936–2018), his Republican Party opponent in the 2008 presidential election.  The reason Mr Obama’s use attracted was that earlier, Sarah Palin (b 1964) had said during her acceptance speech as Mr McCain’s running mate: “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?  Lipstick.”  It turned out to be the best line of their lackluster campaign.  Because of her well-publicized speech and the fact Ms Palin was the only one of the four candidates on that year’s ticket actually to wear lipstick (as far as is known), it was immediately picked up as a potentially misogynistic slur.  However, the outrage lasted barely one news cycle as the fact-checkers were activated to comb the records, revealing Mr McCain the previous year had used it when deriding the abortive healthcare proposal developed by the equally doomed crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013) while installed as FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States).

Lindsay Lohan in applying red lipstick (left) and smoking a "stick" (right), from a photo-shoot by Terry Richardson (b 1965) for Love Magazine, Spring/Summer Edition, 2012.

Use turned out to be a long “across the aisle” thing. Thomas Harkin (b 1939; US senator (Democratic-Iowa) 1985-2015) applying it in 1989 to George HW Bush’s (George XLI, 1924-2018; US president 1989-1993) plan to send military aid to the El Salvador government and Ann Richards (1933–2006; governor (Democratic) of Texas 1991-1995) in 1992 added a flourish when she said of the administration’s call for the Democratic-controlled congress to move on a constitutional amendment to force the government to keep a balanced budget: “This is not another one of those deals where you put lipstick on a hog and call it a princess.”  The line received much attention and she added a new variation in 1990 when criticizing the administration for using warships to protect oil tankers in the Middle East (which she labeled a “hidden subsidy for foreign oil”): “You can put lipstick on a hog and call it Monique, but it is still a pig.”  At least in Texas, that may have achieved some resonance because in her failed 1994 gubernatorial race against George W Bush (George XLIII, b 1946; US president 2001-2009), her campaign used the slogan “Call it Monique” as a way of disparage her opponent’s proposals.  The use of “Monique” was apparently random; as far as is known there was no “Monique problem” in the White House of George XLI in the way there was a “Jennifer with a ‘J’ problem”. Commendably, Governor Richards did stick to the theme, unlike Mr Obama in 2008 who couldn’t resist a further metaphor in case his audience was too dim to understand the first, adding: “You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called ‘change’.  It's still going to stink.”  That was laboring the point by gilding the lily.

Helpfully, the industry has defined the math of "perfect lips" and even more helpfully (for imperfect women), a lip pencil can be used to apply lip liner to make one's shape tend towards the perfect, providing the definition lines within which lipstick can be applied.  When using a lip pencil, a pencil sharpener is an essential accessory.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl.

People have been expressing the idea in different ways for at least centuries.  In 1732 the English physician and lay-preacher Thomas Fuller (1654–1734) published Gnomologia: Adagies and Proverbs; wise sentences and witty saying, ancient and modern, foreign and British which included “A hog in armour is still but a hog.”  The English antiquary & lexicographer Francis Grose (circa 1725-1791) included an entry for “hog in armour” in his A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785) which he explained was “an awkward or mean looking man or woman, finely dressed.”  So, something like “mutton dressed as lamb”, a put-down rendered more cutting still by what used to be called the Fleet Street tabloids coining “mutton dressed as hogget”, a classic example of what used to be called bitchiness, a genuine red top speciality.  Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) was an English Particular Baptist preacher (with all that implies) and although most of his prodigious writing was concerned with defending his sect against the encroachments of liberal & pragmatic theology and ritual, he did publish odd secular work including The Salt-Cellars (1887), a compendium of proverbs in which he noted: “A hog in a silk waistcoat is still a hog” meant “Circumstances do not alter a man’s nature, nor even his manners.”

Dior Addict Lip Gloss Glow Oil in 007 Raspberry.

But it was pigs & lipstick which became the most common form but apparently only after the mid 1980s although the incongruity of the juxtaposition of pigs and lipstick had appealed earlier appealed to some.  In 1926 the “colorful” journalist Charles Lummis (1859-1928) had a piece in the Los Angeles Times which included: “Most of us know as much of history as a pig does of lipsticks.” but the first known appearance of the modern phrase is thought to have been in the Washington Post in 1985, quoting a San Francisco radio host who suggested plans for renovating Candlestick Park (instead of building a new downtown stadium for the Giants “…would be like putting lipstick on a pig.”  After that it’s never gone away, an anti-abortionist in 1992 quoted as saying of legislative amendments of which he did not approve: “You don't want to put lipstick on a pig” and Rick Santorum (b 1958; US senator (Republican-Pennsylvania 1995-2007) added spelled it out, telling the chamber legislative reforms to government subsidies for southern peanut and sugar farmers were the lipstick while the pig was the subsidy programme itself.  In 1998, the often lachrymose Republican John Boehner (b 1949; Speaker of the US House of Representatives 2011-2015), apparently while dry-eyed, bemoaned what he called a “rudderless Republican congress”: "When there's no agenda and there's no real direction, what happens is you really can't have a message; you can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it's still a pig.”

Lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner & lip balm

Lipstick is primarily for style, there to add color (and they are produced in just about every shade imaginable) but it also protects and to some extent hydrates the lips, indeed, some have additives for just this purpose.  The texture can be creamy, matte, satin, or glossy and lipsticks have included glitter and even a swelling agent for those who want a plumper-lipped look although it applied with some expertise, even an unadulterated lipstick can provide the visual effect of greater fullness. 

Lip Gloss can be used either as a stand-alone product or as a finisher over lipstick, somewhat analogous with a “clear coat” over paint, providing a “varnishing” effect.  What lip gloss does is add shine and often a hit of color to the lips.  As the name implies, the texture is glossy and although usually lightweight, the finish can be sticky, models often applying lip gloss sever times during a photo-shoot to ensure the luster is constant.  They’re mostly sheer or translucent, though some have shimmer or glitter added, thus they can produce a (sort-of) natural, shiny look or add visual depth to lipstick.

Fenty Beauty Stunna Lip Paint Longwear Fluid Lip Color in Uncensored.

Lip Liners (applied with a lip pencil) are a maintenance tool.  What a lip liner does is define the edge of the lips, providing a protective barrier which prevents feathering or bleeding of lip color (ie from a lip stick or lip gloss.  Almost always matte, lip liners are essentially pencils for the lips and their use requires the same firm consistency in application that an artist adopts when putting graphite to paper.  Specialists caution it does take practice to master the art and their golden rule is “less is more”: begin with several light applications until technique is honed and arcs can be described in one go.  Done well, a lip liner can be outline the lips, fill them in for longer-lasting color and to a remarkable extent, change the appearance of their shape.

Lip Balm is only incidentally a beauty aid; they’re used to moisturize, soothe, and protects lips from dryness or chapping so are used by those playing sport, sailing rock-climbing and such.  Most are creamy and waxy, designed to endure for several hours of outdoor use (and often include a sunscreen) although some intended for those in indoor, dry-air environments (such as air-conditioned offices) are lightweight and glossy; aimed at the female market these are often flavored (mandarin, cherry, strawberry etc).  The indoor variety typically are transparent or lightly tinted and while some can be used as a base under other products, not all lipsticks or lip glosses are suitable; it depends on the composition.

1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Lipstick Edition.

The Ford Motor Company’s Lincoln Continental Mark IV (1971-1976) was a classic “land yacht”, a class of car which was a feature of the US motoring scene of the 1960s & 1970s; it was an exemplar of the “personal luxury car”, a subset of the breed.  Although an exercise in packaging inefficiency which today seems remarkable, the Mark IV was a great success for the corporation and was highly profitable because it was built on the same platform as the Ford Thunderbird with which it shared both a mechanical specification and a substantial part of the structure with only some panels, interior fittings and additional bits & pieces distinguishing the two.  The pair was among the industry’s most profitable lines and in 1976, Lincoln released the first of its “designer” series Mark IV’s, “trim & appearance” packages which included touches from the associated designers (Bill Blass, Cartier, Givenchy & Pucci) and to ensure those watching knew just which design house’s bling a buyer had chosen, the C-Pillar “opera window” (a much-loved affectation of the age) was etched with the signature of the relevant designer.  More profitable even than the standard line, of the 56,110 Mark IVs produced in 1976, 12,906 were one or other of the designer editions.

1976 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Lipstick Edition.

As well as the “branded” designer edition cars, beginning in 1973, Lincoln made available its LGO (Luxury Group Option), trim package which offered a color-coordinated exterior, vinyl roof, and interior with the color mix changed each season.  For 1976, the theme was “lipstick” and the “Lipstick Edition” was available in either white (with lipstick red coach-lines) or lipstick red (with white coach-lines); all interiors featured button-tufted white leather upholstery with red accent stripes.  A quirk of the Lipstick cars was there were two choices of material for the vinyl roof, one called “Cayman” (designed to resemble alligator skin) and the other the familiar padded top which covered only the rear portion of the roof and buyers could have either red or white material.  Red or white, the Lipstick cars were distinctive machines but the white cars were apparently the more popular and estimates vary greatly of how of the approximately 1,250 Lipstick Editions were red, the shade of which appeared to be close to Dior's lipstick #744 (Party Red).

Sarah Palin and Barack Obama, 2008.  Sarah Palin was wasted in politics and was a natural for Fox News and such.

Vapid

Vapid (pronounced vap-id)

(1) Lacking or having lost life, sharpness, or flavor; insipid; flat.

(2) Without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious; flavorless, spiritless, unanimated, tiresome, prosaic.

1650s:  From the Latin vapidus (literally “that has exhaled its vapor”) and related to vappa (stale wine).  The word was used in Latin to describe anything the taste of which was thought bland, flat or insipid.  Related forms include the adverb vapidly and the noun vapidness but the most common form is the noun vapidity which dates from 1721.  The application to talk and text and music thought dull and lifeless dates from 1758.  The Latin vappa (wine without flavor) is still used figuratively in many languages (sometimes as "bit of a vapp") to refer to a man who is "a good-for-nothing" or a bit foppish.

The Koryo Burger

The Koryo Burger package.

It’s estimated that prior to Covid-19, some five-thousand Western tourists annually would visit the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK; North Korea), a trade it was hoped might quickly recover given it wasn't until early 2022 that the first COVID-19 outbreak of the pandemic was confirmed.  Remaining virus-free for so long was said to be an example of The Supreme Leader’s outstanding administration of the public health system, the outbreak the fault of lazy officials would have been dealt with in the DPRK way.  It’s not yet clear when the boarders will be re-opened, Pyongyang having no desire to expose its happy and grateful population to foreign diseases but one thing prospective tourists hungrily can anticipate is the national airline’s in-flight meal.  Although Air Koryo serves only the famously vapid Koryo Burger, it’s legendarily consistent, always cold and presented on a paper doily.  Inside the bun is a piece of unidentified processed meat, a slice of processed cheese, a dash of shredded cabbage or single lettuce leaf, finished with a dollop of sauce described variously as “reddish” or “brownish”.  Some sources, claiming to have received confirmation from the airline, suggest the meat is chicken but speculation on the Internet has long pondered the matter because it seems impossible to tell from the taste (there isn't any) or texture (said to be equally indeterminate).

The Koryo Burger expanded.

Air Koryo did in the past dabble with other culinary offerings.  Some years ago for several months, for reasons unknown, on some inbound flights full meals appeared including curried rice and side dishes and also served was a sort of sandwich wrapped in a Danish pastry but neither innovation lasted and in recent years it's been burgers all the way, Air Koryo clearly having decided to stick to the classics.  The decision may have been in response to public demand given the cult-following the Koryo Burger has attracted, #koryoburger a must-visit tag for any foodie.  Surely not as repugnant as some have alleged, the many reviews of the experience of eating one seem to struggle to find words adequately to convey blandness rather than awfulness although, apart from the plastic packaging which seems to be of a good standard, there’s no aspect of the burger which escapes condemnation, the buns said always to be stale (either through age, incorrect storage or some flaw in the manufacturing process), the meat patty vapid to the point where it’s been suggested the admired wrapping may be more tasty, the lettuce or cabbage usually limp and the smell of the sauce said to suggest some association with wood-working glue although one reviewer mentioned their relief at finding a thin liquid which oozed from the patty was too watery to be blood.  Most however did concede the slice of processed cheese was about the same as plastic cheese anywhere on the planet.  Koryo burgers are served chilled, apparently straight from the fridge and it may be that this accounts for much of the expressed distaste; were they served at the temperature at which burgers are typically enjoyed, it’s not impossible the Koryo Burger would taste much the same as similar offerings anywhere.

The Koryo Burger surprise.  Until opened, the passenger doesn't know whether the burger will contain lettuce leaves or shredded cabbage.

The airline review site Skytrax has for years consistently rated Air Koryo as the world’s worst airline but unfortunately they don’t provide the qualitative data which might indicate what part the Koryo Burger plays in securing the national carrier's perpetual last place.  It may be Skytrax’s reviewers allowed themselves unduly to be influenced by the burger; the customer write-ups of aspects of Air Koryo not touching on anything culinary actually often positive and not infrequently making the point the DPRK carrier is in some ways superior to some in the West.

The vegetarian option.

Neither can it be denied there has been gastronomic progress in the DPRK’s skies.  While in the days of Kim I (Kim Il-sung, 1912-1994; The Great Leader of DPRK 1948-1994) and Kim II (Kim Jong-il, 1941–2011; The Dear Leader of DPRK 1994-2011), the only choice usually was to eat the burger or not eat the burger, in the new age of Kim III (Kim Jong-un, b circa 1982; The Supreme Leader (originally The Great Successor) of DPRK since 2011), there's now a vegetarian option, which is the familiar Koryo Burger but with sliced cherry tomatoes in place of the meat patty.  Few have commented on the veggie burger but one reviewer praised the tomatoes, saying they tasted better than those he ate elsewhere which tended to look nice and bright but usually lacked flavor.

Air Koryo quality control.

Every morning, the DPRK's Supreme Leader and noted gastronome personally selects the buns used to make Koryo Burgers, the buns Kim Jong-un rejects being fed to political prisoners who are said to be grateful to receive them.  The tradition of the daily selection of buns was started by his grandfather (the Great Leader) and carried on by his father (the Dear Leader).  The Supreme Leader's entourage always carry notebooks and pens in case he says anything interesting.  They all write it down.