Drake

Drake (pronounced dreyk)

(1) The male of any duck.

(2) As “Drake equation”, a formula proposed as a mechanism to estimate the number of active, communicative extraterrestrial civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy.

(3) A small-bore cannon, used mostly in the seventeenth & especially in the 17th and 18th centuries.

(4) A dragon (archaic).

(5) In angling, an artificial fly resembling a mayfly.

(6) A fiery meteor, comet or shooting star (archaic).

(7) A beaked galley or Viking warship.

1250–1300: From the Middle English drake (male duck, drake), from the Old English draca, an abbreviated form of the Old English andraca (male duck, drake (literally “duck-king”), from the Proto-West Germanic anadrekō (duck leader) and cognate with the Middle Dutch andrake, the Low German drake, the Dutch draak (drake), the German Enterich (drake) and the dialectal German drache.  In the Old High German, the equivalent forms were antrahho & anutrehho (male duck).  The archaic meaning in Middle English (a dragon; Satan) dates from before 900 and was from the Old English draca (in the sense of “dragon, sea monster, huge serpent”), from the Proto-West Germanic drakō (dragon), from the Latin dracō (dragon), from the Ancient Greek δράκων (drákōn) (serpent, giant seafish), from δέρκομαι (dérkomai) (I see clearly), from the primitive Indo-European derḱ-.  The Proto-Germanic drako was productive, the source also of the Middle Dutch and Old Frisian drake, the Dutch draak, the Old High German trahho and the German drache.  In a footnote in the long history of the Royal Navy, HMS Marshal Ney, the ship once known as "the worst ship in the navy" was briefly (during her surprisingly long service) re-named HMS Drake.  Drake is a noun, the noun plural is drakes.

Guilty as sin.  Functional necrophilia by a drake: In November 2001, a researcher at Natuurmuseum (Museum of Natural History), Rotterdam, reported the first known case of homosexualnecrophilia in the mallard duck (mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)).

In idiomatic use, the phrase “ducks and drakes” (usually in the form “playing ducks and drakes”) dates from 1585 and means “recklessly or irresponsibly to behave with something valuable or to waste something precious”.  The origin is believed to lie in the pastime of throwing flat stones across the surface of water (known also as “skipping stones”, “stone skiffing” or “skimming stones”, the allusion being to the behavior of the water as the stones bounce before eventually losing energy and sinking, the effect (the circular rings produced by the skipping stone) said to be something like that created by the splashing of ducks and drakes (and waterfowl in general).  It was thus a a reference to doing something in a haphazard and careless manner, without any particular aim or purpose and over time, came to be used generally to refer to any kind of wasteful or irresponsible behavior.  It accurately described the pointlessness of skimming stones but was something of a slight on the birds; their activities on water an indication of their industriousness.  The sense of “to squander, to throw away” emerged in 1614, the notion being “throwing money away, as if throwing away stones in this pastime”.  The perfectly-shapes stone for the purpose (flattish & disc-like) was called a drakestone and in parts of northern England the pastime was known as drakestoning.

The Drake equation

The Drake Equation is a mathematical formula developed in 1961 by US astrophysicist Dr Frank Drake (1930–2022) to estimate the number of intelligent civilizations that (1) might exist in our Milky Way galaxy and (2) be capable of communicating with us. The equation takes into account various factors, such as the number of habitable planets, the probability of life forming on those planets, and the likelihood of intelligent life evolving.  The equation takes the form:

N = R* × fp × ne × fl × fi × fc × L

where:

N = the number of civilizations in our galaxy that are within the parameters capable of communicating with us
R* = the rate of star formation in our galaxy
fp = the fraction of stars that have planets
ne = the average number of habitable planets per star with planets
fl = the fraction of habitable planets that develop life
fi = the fraction of planets with life that develop intelligent life
fc = the fraction of intelligent civilizations that develop technology to communicate with others
L = the length of time such civilizations release detectable signals into space

Sixty-odd years ago, Dr Drake was well aware his equation was not a tool of immediately practical application because there was no certainty about any of the values.  Additionally, the formula was designed not to estimate the actual volume of intelligent life in the galaxy but the number of instances where the conditions might exist which would allow an intelligent to broadcast radio transmissions into space.  Since then, we’ve actually been able to better quantify two of the variables but the equation remains an interesting, speculative device and it remains a widely used tool for discussion and debate.

Portrait of Sir Francis Drake (circa 1581), oil on panel by an unknown artist, National Portrait Gallery, London.  A navigator and buccaneer (a kind of pirate), Sir Francis Drake (1540–1596) was the first Englishman to sail around the world (1577–80) and is best remembered for his command of the fleet which faced the Spanish Armada in 1588.

Mojito

Mojito (pronounced moh-hee-toh)

A cocktail of Cuban origin, made with white rum, sugar-cane juice, lime juice, soda-water and mint.

1930–1935: From American-infused Cuban Spanish, perhaps a diminutive of the Spanish mojo (orange sauce or marinade) from mojar (to moisten; make wet) from the (hypothetical) Vulgar Latin molliāre (to soften by soaking), from the Latin molliō (soften), from mollis (soft).  The noun plural is mojitos.  The origin of the name mojito is disputed.  The most popular is that the name relates mojo, a Cuban seasoning made from lime and used to flavour dishes.  The alternative view is it’s a derivative of mojadito ("a little wet" in Spanish), the diminutive of mojado (wet).  Mojito is a noun, the noun plural is Mojitos and by convention, it seems mostly to appear with an initial capital.

Ingredients

Juice of 1 large lime.
1 teaspoon granulated sugar.
Small handful of mint leaves, plus extra sprig to serve.
60ml white rum.
Soda-water to taste.

Method

(1) Muddle lime juice, sugar & mint leaves in small jug, progressively crushing mint.  Pour into tall glass, adding handful of ice.

(2) Using chilled glass, pour over rum, stirring with long-handled spoon.  Top-up with soda water, garnish with mint and serve.

To create a virgin mojito, omit rum.

Lindsay Lohan enjoying ice-cream and (an allegedly virgin) mojito, Monaco 2015.

Where Hemmingway sat: Havana’s La Bodeguita del medio.  The red car pictured on the wall is a 1959 "bat wing" Chevrolet Bel Air convertible, emblematic of the "frozen in time" fleet of US cars which for more than two decades formed the backbone of the island's fleet, Washington's economic embargo meaning the importation of newer machinery was banned.  The survivors (now often re-powered with a variety of engines including diesels) are still used to take tourists sightseeing.

It’s not uncommon for the origin of the names of cocktails to be both obscure and contested.  Before the modern era, something like a cocktail could be uniquely regional, something well known in one part of a city yet unknown in another and around the world, because what seemed an appealing combination of drinks in one place would likely be tried in others, it’s a certainty many cocktails would independently have been “invented” many times.  So it’s impossible to know when, where or by whom a great number were first concocted and the contested history tends to be as much about the names as the recipes.  The Mojito, which has gained a new popularity in the twenty-first century, has a typically murky past and there are a number of stories which claim to document its origin, the best-known of which centres on Havana’s La Bodeguita del medio, a restaurant in which Nobel literature laureate Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961) spent many hours, sitting in the bar; Hemmingway lent lavish praise to Bodeguita del medio’s version of the Mojito and he was a fair judge of such things.  The restaurant claims to be the first place on the planet to have served the drink, the recipe coming from African slaves working the Cuban sugar cane fields who created the mix from aguardiente de cana (literally “firewater of the sugar cane”).  In this telling it thus started life as a simply distilled spirit from the cane cuttings and the name Mojito fits this tale, the Spanish mojo meaning “to place a little spell”.  That lacks the documentary evidence etymologists prefer but points are gained for romance.

A brace of Mojitos with environmentally friendly stainless steel straws.  The earliest mixes may have been called El Draque.

Sir Francis Drake (circa 1540–1596) was a English sailor remembered for his role in defeating the Spanish Armada in 1588 but he was also a pirate (the English preferred the term “privateer”, pirates being “foreigners”), an aspect of his character which appealed to many including Hermann Göring (1893–1946; leading Nazi 1922-1945, Hitler's designated successor & Reichsmarschall 1940-1945) who reckoned the decline of England was due to pillaging buccaneers like Drake being replaced by “shopkeepers” (as he would characterize Westminster politicians).  One of Drake's ventures was a plan to take Havana harbor from the Spanish and sack the city of its gold, the holdings there known to be vast but a survey of the place’s formidable defences led him to abandon that idea.  By then however many of his crews were suffering scurvy and dysentery which threatened the continuation of his voyage anywhere so, because Cuba’s native populations were known to have effective remedies for many diseases, Drake sent ashore a landing party to trade this and that for the ingredients for a medicine. The sailors returned with aguarediente de cana (mint leaves mixed with lime juice & the spirit distilled from sugar cane) and the tonic proved efficacious.  As the Admiralty would later understand, it was the lime juice which was most effective (and it would later be supplied on ships to end the problem of scurvy by providing the needed daily dose of vitamin C) but it would have been the spirit which made the potion more palatable to seamen.  A cocktail made with a similar mix was widely served in Cuba in the years after the abortive raid and this may have been the first commercially available Mojito although it didn’t use the name: it was called the El Draque.  It’s thus possible African slaves may not have mixed the first version but they may be responsible for the Mojito moniker, the Spanish mojadito (a little wet) and the Cuban lime-based seasoning mojo the other candidates.  Whatever the source, all agree it was the foundation of the Bacardi company in the mid nineteenth century which started the spread and Hemmingway’s imprimatur from the comfort of Bodeguita del medio’s bar stools was enough for it to begin its rise to the point where the Mojito is among the most popular modern cocktails.

Necrophilous

Necrophilous (pronounced neck-ra-phil-e-us)

(1) In psychiatry, a pathological fascination with death.

(2) In human sexuality, a pathological attraction to dead bodies, especially a sexual attraction which may include intercourse.

(3) In the biological sciences, creatures (from the bacterial to the sentient) exhibiting feeding behavior in a spectrum between a preference for dead tissue and its exclusive consumption.

(4) In biology, as functional necrophilia, a reproductive strategy in some amphibians in which a male will inseminate a newly-dead female, fertilizing the still viable eggs, and then squeezing the corpse to eject the newly fertilized eggs into the water.

1892: The construct was necro- + phil(ia) + ous.  Necro was a Latinized form of the Ancient Greek nekros (dead body, corpse, dead person) from the primitive Indo-European root nek (death).  The element philia was a word-forming element meaning "friendship, fondness, tendency toward" (and more recently "abnormal attraction to") from the Ancient Greek philia (affection) from φίλος (phílos) (love, loving) of uncertain origin.  The –ous suffix was from the Middle English -ous, from the Old French –ous & -eux, from the Latin -ōsus (full, full of) and a doublet of -ose in an unstressed position.  It was used to form adjectives from nouns or denote possession or presence of a quality in any degree, commonly in abundance.  Related forms include necrophilism (apparently used first in 1864), necrophia and necrophiliac.  The primitive Indo-European (this one is properly part of the Proto-Indo-European subset) nek (the root word meaning "death) is a part of or influenced many words in Modern English including innocent, innocuous, internecine, necro-, necropolis; necrosis, necromancy, nectar, nectarine, nociceptive, nocuous, noxious. nuisance, obnoxious, & pernicious.  Connections are many including the Sanskrit nasyati (disappears, perishes), the Avestan nasyeiti (disappears), the Old Persian vi-nathayatiy (he injures), the Ancient Greek nekros (corpse) the Latin nex (genitive necis) (violent death, murder (as opposed to mors (death)) & nocere (to harm, hurt) & noxius (harmful), the Ancient Greek nekus (dead) & nekros (dead body, corpse), the Old Irish ec (dead), the Breton ankou (dead) and the Welsh angeu (death).  In English, the first mention in the literature in the sense of a "morbid attraction toward the dead" appears to be in Charles Chaddock's (1861-1936) 1892 translation of the impressively titled Psychopathia Sexualis: eine Klinisch-Forensische Studie (Sexual Psychopathy: A Clinical-Forensic Study, also known as Psychopathia Sexualis, with Especial Reference to the Antipathetic Sexual Instinct: A Medico-forensic Study), published in 1886, a book by an Austro-German psychiatrist with a name of similarly imposing length, Richard Fridolin Joseph Freiherr Krafft von Festenberg auf Frohnberg, genannt von Ebing (1840–1902), work and author respectively cited usually as the more manageable Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing.  

In the wild, necrophilous creatures range from bacteria, flies and beetles to larger animals such as hyenas and vultures.  All are niche species which fulfil a role in their ecosystem(s).  Even some beasts with reputations as hunter-killers, such as the big sharks, are pragmatically necrophilous eaters, attracted always the easy snack offered by the carcass of a recently dead whale.  Necrophilia, necrophile, necrophiliac, necrophily, necrophilist & necrophilism are nouns and necrophilistic is an adjective; the noun plural is necrophilias but the more commonly used is necrophiliacs.

Vultures enjoying a venison lunch.  

Vultures rarely attack healthy animals but may kill the wounded or sick if no threat exists; when a carcass has too thick a hide for its beak to open, it waits for a larger scavenger to eat first.  Entirely opportunistic, many reports from battlefields have noted the circling vultures and for an ecosystem, they’re of great value as scavengers, especially in hot regions. Vulture stomach acid is exceptionally corrosive, allowing them safely to digest putrid carcasses infected with botulinum toxin, cholera and anthrax bacteria that would be lethal to other scavengers.  They therefore play an important role in reducing the spread of disease. 

They can however fall victim to modern chemicals.  Vulture numbers in south Asia, mainly in India and Nepal, have declined dramatically since the early 1990s, the reduction caused by them being poisoned by residues of certain veterinary drugs in animal carcasses.  Action has been taken but, even if successful, it will take at least decades for the populations to be restored and without vultures to pick corpses clean, rabies-carrying dogs have multiplied, feeding on the carrion.  The decline has also threatened the age-old practice of Vultures practiced by the Parsis (or Parsees (literally “Persian” in the Persian language)), an ethno-religious group of the Indian subcontinent who practice the religion of Zoroastrianism.  According to Zoroastrian scriptures and tradition, a corpse is a host for decay, the scriptures commanding a safe disposal of the dead in a manner that does not pollute and an eight-thousand year old tradition among the Parsis is leaving of the bodies of the dead in a remote spot for vultures to devour.  With the vultures in the area poisoned almost to the point of extinction, this is no longer possible and other methods in sympathy with scripture have been adopted but none are as efficient or environmentally friendly as the big birds.

The government has begun a five-year programme called the Action Plan for Vulture Conservation (APVC).  Intended to run between 2020-2025, it includes plans to prevent the of poisoning of cattle carcasses, enhance existing conservation breeding programmes, regular monitoring of vultures numbers and extending the existing vulture safe zone network by creating at least one more zone in each state.  As most vultures die after consuming carcasses of animals administered veterinary non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), it’s planned to stop misuse by requiring they be sold only against prescription and ensuring all treatment of livestock is performed by qualified veterinarians.  The matter is regarded as urgent, a 2016 study finding that "…of the twenty-two vulture species, nine are critically endangered, three are endangered, four are near threatened, and six are of concern".

Homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck

In November 2001, a researcher at Natuurmuseum (Museum of Natural History), Rotterdam, reported the first known case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck (mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)).  On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died, after which, another drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for seventy-five minutes.  The author who submitted the paper for publication then disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck for a post-mortem examination, the dissection confirming the victim of the necrophiliac rape was male.  The researcher concluded the two mallards were engaged in an “attempted rape flight” (ARF) which resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.

A Drake mallard in full breeding plumage (left) next to the dead drake mallard just after collision with the new wing of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam.

The museum’s architecture includes an all glass façade which, under certain light, behaves as a mirror and bird strikes are not uncommon and often fatal, a loud thud alerting the staff another bird has made itself available for purposes of display or research.  On 5 June 1995, the researcher responded to a thud, observing a drake mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) lying motionless on its belly in the sand and obviously dead.  Next to the carcass was another male mallard in full adult plumage without any visible traces of molt.  The live duck then forcibly picked into the back, the base of the bill and mostly into the back of the head of the dead mallard for about two minutes, then mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force, almost continuously picking the side of the head.

The same couple during copulation, two minutes after the above photo was taken.

“Rather startled”, the researcher, from behind a nearby window, observed and photographed the two ducks for seventy-five minutes, during which the live mallard almost continuously copulated with his dead congener; dismounting only twice, he stayed near his uncomplaining partner, picking the neck and side of the head before mounting again, his first break lasting three minutes, his second, about a quarter of an hour later, less than a minute.  After allowing love to follow its unnatural course for well over a hour, the researcher felt compelled to “disturb this cruel scene”.  At this, the necrophilic mallard only reluctantly left his “mate” not flying off but walking away a few metres, weakly uttering series of two-note raeb-raeb calls which the researcher identified as the mallard’s “conversation-call”.  Sometime later, the mallard was still present at the site of the act, still calling and apparently looking for his victim which, by then, was chilling in the freezer.

The researcher notes the supposition of an ARF cannot be verified and is wholly circumstantial, but it’s thought unlikely this was a mere opportunist event.  Disregarding the homosexual nature of the case, pursuit-behavior among mallards is commonly observed; when drakes congregate in small flocks, more than a dozen may chase a single female in the air, trying to force her down and rape her, a behavior known in the literature as “attempted rape flight” or “rape intent flights” but there appears to exist no report other than those of heterosexual ARF's although homosexual rape (referred to more delicately by some as “attempted non-consensual copulation”) is known among the mallard.  In fairness to the guilty mallard, a visual inspection of the corpse was performed because the plumage of senile females can change to resemble that of a male but the victim, although molting into the non-breeding (eclipse) stage, still showed enough male features to conclude it was no case of mistaken sexuality identity.

An exhaustive overview of animal homosexuality, published in 1999, found that in the mallard, “the proportion of male homosexual pairs varies between populations, and is anywhere from 2-19 % of all pairs” so male homosexuality can't be said to be an uncommon behavior in the breed.  Even among those drake pairs however, they do not exhibit overt sexual activity: they normally only show behavior that preludes copulation but neither partner mounts the other. Interestingly, the report added “some males in homosexual pairs have been observed attempting to rape or forcibly copulate with males outside their pair bond”.  Again, it’s speculative but this may have been the case on 5 June 1995: the drake attempted to rape the victim, which fled, the two becoming engaged in a true homosexual ARF.  Still, the unfortunate bird was dead while he was being raped although, it was noted, being dead, it may be argued by some it was no longer rape but it certainly remained non-consensual copulation and, being an act of necrophilia, this must have affected the duration of the event.  Whatever the circumstances, the case appears an avian oddity, necrophilia known in the mallard, but only among heterosexual pairs.  While occasionally, males try to mate with dead females, this does appear the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.

Monitor

Monitor (pronounced mon-i-ter)

(1) A student appointed to assist in the conduct of a class or school, as to help take attendance or keep order (largely obsolete).

(2) A person appointed to supervise students, applicants, etc., taking an examination, chiefly to prevent cheating; proctor.

(3) A person who admonishes, especially with reference to conduct.

(4) Something that serves to remind or give warning.

(5) A device or arrangement for observing, detecting, or recording the operation of a machine or system, especially an automatic control system.

(6) An instrument for detecting dangerous gases, radiation, etc.

(7) A receiving apparatus used in a control room, especially to provide a steady check of the quality of an audio or video transmission.

(8) A similar apparatus placed in various parts of a studio so that an audience can watch a recorded portion of a show, the performer can see the various segments of a program, etc.

(9) Any such receiving apparatus used in a closed-circuit system, as in an operating room.

(10) The screen component of a computer, especially a free-standing screen.

(11) In early computing, a control program which handled the primitive file-loading, essentially a precursor to operating systems.

(12) A type of armored warship of very low freeboard, having one or more turrets and used for coastal defense (now obsolete).

(13) In architecture, a raised construction straddling the ridge of a roof and having windows or louvers for lighting or ventilating a building, as a factory or warehouse.

(14) An articulated mounting for a nozzle, usually mechanically operated, which permits a stream of water to be played in any desired direction, as in firefighting or hydraulic mining (also called giant).

(15) Any of various large predatory lizards of the genus Varanus and family Varanidae, of Africa, southern Asia, the East Indies, and Australia, fabled to give warning of the presence of crocodiles.

(16)  To listen to or observe something.

(17) In Engineering, a tool holder, as for a lathe, shaped like a low turret, and capable of being revolved on a vertical pivot so as to bring the several tools successively into position.

1540-1550: From the Latin monitor (one who warns) from perfect passive participle monitus (warning) from the verb monēre (to remind, bring to (one's) recollection, tell (of); admonish, advise, warn, instruct, teach) from the primitive Indo-European moneie- (to make think of, remind), source also of the Sanskrit manayati (to honor, respect) and the Old Avestan manaiia- (making think), a suffixed (causative) form of the root men- (to think), source also of the Latin memini (I remember, I am mindful of) & mens (mind).  The notion was "one who or that which warns of faults or informs of duties".

The first use in English was to describe a "senior pupil at a school charged with keeping order" (vaguely analogous with the block kapo in a concentration camp), from the Latin monitor (one who reminds, admonishes, or checks," also "an overseer, instructor, guide, teacher).  The lizard picked up the name in 1826 because of the fable in which it was said to give warnings of Nile crocodiles.  The squat, slow-moving ironclad warship was first used in 1862 during the US Civil War, the name chosen by the inventor, Swedish-born U.S. engineer John Ericsson (1803-1889), because it was meant to "admonish" (in the sense of the senior pupil at a school) the Confederate leaders in the U.S. Civil War.

Use in broadcasting dates from 1924 when it meant "a device to continuously check on the technical quality of a radio transmission signals" and it was borrowed in 1931 during the development of early television broadcasts to describe "a TV screen displaying the picture from a particular camera."  It soon came to mean electronic screens of any type.  The general sense of monitoring stuff emerged in 1944 to describe certain wartime intelligence operations.  Interestingly, as early as 1918 the romantic poet John Keats (1795-1821) used it in the sense of "to guide".

Lindsay Lohan in SCRAM bracelet (left), the SCRAM (centre) and Chanel's response from their Spring 2007 collection (right).

A very twenty-first century monitor: Before Lindsay Lohan began her “descent into respectability” (a quote from the equally admirable Mandy Rice-Davies (1944-2004) of MRDA fame), Lindsay Lohan inadvertently became of the internet’s early influencers when she for a time wore a court-ordered ankle monitor (often called “bracelets” which etymologically is dubious but rarely has English been noted for its purity).  At the time, many subject to such orders often concealed them under clothing but Ms Lohan made her SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor) a fashion statement, something that compelled the paparazzi to adjust their focal length to ensure her ankle of interest appeared in shots.  The industry responded with its usual alacrity and “ankle monitor” purses were soon being strutted down the catwalks.

Chanel's boot-mounted ankle purse in matching quilted black leather.

In one of several examples of this instance of Lohanic influence on design, in their Spring 2007 collection, Chanel included a range of ankle bags.  Functional to the extent of affording the wearing a hands-free experience and storage for perhaps a lipstick, gloss and credit card (and the modern young spinster should seldom need more), the range was said quickly to "sell-out" although the concept hasn't been seen in subsequent collections so analysts of such things should make of that what they will.  Chanel offered the same idea in a boot, a design actually borrowed from the military although they tended to be more commodious and, being often used by aircrew, easily accessible while in a seated position, the sealable flap on the outer calf, close to the knee.

The Monitors

Monitors were curious looking, relatively small warships which, while neither fast nor heavily armored, carried disproportionately large guns, sometimes a single barrel as large as eighteen inches (460mm).  First used in the US Civil War, they saw service in several navies during both world wars and some were built by the US Navy as late as the 1960s to support costal operations in the Vietnam War.  Essentially a floating gun platform, they could be used only in shallow waters and were thus restricted to river and coastal duties where they were used as shore bombardment vessels.  Monitors have the distinction of firing heavier shells than other warships.

HMS Marshall Ney (1915-1957)

The Royal Navy has a sense of history and maintains in the service a great veneration for her most illustrious ships, names like Dreadnought, Victory & Vanguard often re-used on newer vessels to maintain the links with a history which dates back almost five-hundred years.  One ship not often mentioned in the annals is HMS Marshal Ney, laid down in 1915 as the first of two monitors of her class.  Designed to use 15 inch (380 mm) guns with mounts and turrets which became available when the Admiralty opted to reconfigure the battleships Renown and Repulse as battle cruisers, Marshal Ney and her sister ship Marshal Soult were named in recognition of historically unusual situation of the French being allies rather than enemies.  Built with the same armor as earlier monitors which mounted 12 inch (300 mm) guns, the original plan had been also to use the same well-regarded and reliable engines but an unfortunate decision was taken to use some diesel engines which were otherwise unallocated.  In short order, HMS Marshal Ney would come to be known as “the worst ship in the navy”.

The Vickers engines in the Marshal Soult, though underpowered, were reliable but those in her sister ship, built by the German company of MAN were a disaster, the problems thought a consequence of it being impossible in wartime to employ the German technicians experienced in servicing them or obtain the spare parts needed to fix them.  On the rare occasions the engines successfully started, they rarely ran for long without something “blowing up” and the engineers reports make clear, this expression was literal rather than used in the figurative sense often heard in engine rooms, pieces of shrapnel flying around with disturbing frequency.  Remarkably, there were only minor injuries.  As a result, the navy removed the big gun and installed it on the better performing monitor HMS Terror though in one of the coincidences of war, one of its barrels was on HMS Repulse when she was sunk by the Japanese in 1941.  The Admiralty re-armed the Marshal Ney, firstly with a single 9.2 inch (235 mm) gun and later, six with 6-inch (150 mm) bores but made no attempt to replace the engines, using the ship instead as a floating gun platform in the Channel, towed from port to port as required.  Despite being “the worst ship in the navy”, HMS Marshal Ney had a longer life on the active register than many more storied warships.  After the First World War, she became first a depot vessel and later an accommodation ship, renamed three times between 1922-1947, becoming successively Vivid, Drake and Alaunia II.  She was decommissioned in 1957 and sold for scrap, something which many sailors believed she'd been from the day she was launched.