Ash

Ash (pronounced ash)

(1) The powdery, nonvolatile products and residue formed when matter is burnt; that which remains after burning; any of certain compounds formed by burning.

(2) In geology, finely pulverized lava thrown out by a volcano in eruption (technically volcanic ash).

(3) In chemistry, the non-aqueous remains of a material subjected to any complete oxidation process.

(4) Human (or animal) remains after cremation and either buried, scattered or stored in a crypt or container (usually styled as an “urn” regardless of style (always in the plural).

(5) Figuratively, mortal remains in general (always in the plural).

(6) Figuratively, the residue of anything (structures, institutions, movements, ideas, hopes etc), especially following disasters or catastrophes.

(7) In arboreal classification, any of the various oleaceous trees of the genus Fraxinus, of the olive family (especially F. excelsior of Europe and Asia or F. americana (white ash) of North America), having opposite, pinnate leaves, winged seeds and purplish flowers in small clusters.

(8) In arboreal classification, any of several trees resembling the ash, such as the mountain ash (and in Australia, any of several trees resembling the ash, especially of the eucalyptus genus).

(9) The tough, straight, close-grained wood of any of these trees, highly valued as timber because of its durability, widely used for the handles of tools (shovels, pick-axes etc) and once the choice material for the frames of many early automobiles.

(10) The largely archaic æsc (the symbols Æ & æ) (ash) from the Old English (the plural æscas).  The digraph æ represents a front vowel approximately like that of the “a” in the Modern English “hat” and the character is used also used to represent this sound in the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA).

(11) A light silvery grey colour, often with a brownish tinge.

(12) As the ash-blonde hair color, a spectrum expressed in solid and variegated forms which blends or interpolates various classic blondes, silver-greys, and the lighter shades of brown.

(13) The acronym for Action on Smoking & Health, non-governmental organizations (NGO) in eth UK, Ireland & New Zealand, chartered as a charities (though through interaction with government they function sometimes in a way similar to QANGOs).

(14) To removed the burned tobacco from the end of a burning cigar or cigarette (usually by “flicking”, “tapping” or tapping the unburned section on the rim of an ashtray  The used to describe emptying the ask from the bowl of an extinguished pipe is less common.

(15) In agriculture, to cover newly-sown fields of crops with ashes.

Pre 950: From the Middle English asshe & aisshe (powdery remains of fire), from the Old English asce & æsce, from the Proto-West Germanic askā, from the Proto-Germanic askǭ, from the primitive Indo-European hes-.  It was cognate with the Frisian esk, the Dutch asch, the Swedish aska, the Danish & Norwegian aske, the Old Norse & Old High German aska (from which German gained German Asche) and the Gothic azgo (from the unattested Germanic askōn- (though the evolution of the Gothic is murky).  It was akin to the Latin ārēre (to be dry) (from which English ultimately gained arid) and āra (altar), the Oscan aasaí (on the altar), the Tocharian ās- (dry out; to get dry), the Sanskrit ā́sa- (ashes) and the Hittite hassi (on the hearth), from the primitive Indo-European root as- (to burn, glow).  The Spanish and Portuguese ascua (red-hot coal) are Germanic loan-words.  Ash is a noun & verb, ashiness is a noun, ashed is a verb, ashing is a noun & verb, ashen is an adjective & verb and ashless is an adjective; the noun plural is ashes.  The UK dialectal plural axen was from the Middle English axen & axnen, from the Old English axan & asċan (ashes) and was the plural of the Old English axe or æsċe (ash).  Some dictionaries do list it as rare but for (non-historic) purposes it’s archaic.

The various trees gained the common name ash from the Old English æsc, which was related to the primitive Indo-European word for the tree, while the generic name originated in Latin from a primitive Indo-European word for birch.  Both words were also used to mean “spear” & “shaft” in their respective languages because the straight, tough and durable timber was ideal for such purposes.  From the Old High German asc was derived the German Esche, with an altered vowel from the adjectival derivative eschen (which in Middle High German was eschîn.  It was akin to the Latin ornus (wild mountain ash), the Welsh onnen, the Ancient Greek ὀξύα (oxúa) (beech), the Old Armenian հացի (hacʿi), the Russian yáseń, the Polish jesion, the Czech jasan, the Lithuanian úosis, the Armenian hatsi and the Albanian ah (beech), all ultimately from the primitive Indo-European ōs (ash (tree)).  Although the close-grained timber of the ash is tough, it also has outstanding elasticity which allows it to be formed into shapes so was the preferred wood for spear-shafts and later came to be favored by coach-builders, many of the early automobiles also constructed with ash frames.

Forms have been coined as needed (as a portmanteau or with or without the hyphen) including ash-gourd, ash-pan, ashtray, ashcan, ash-pit fly-ash, ash-borer, pearl-ash, pot-ash & soda ash.  Potash (a class of potassium minerals of similar applicability to potassium carbonate and widely used in the production of fertilizers) is one of the most extensively mined minerals in the world.  One inventive use was noted in 1945 when the US military designated their internment camp for suspected Nazi war criminals as “Ashcan”; impressed, the British dubbed their holding facility “Dustbin”.  The ash-bin (receptacle for ashes from a fire and other refuse) seems not to have been recorded until 1847 although such devices would have been in use for centuries.  Similarly, the word ash-tray (reusable receptacle for the the ashes of the tobacco of smokers) first appears only in 1851 although they were doubtlessly among the first companion products after tobacco was introduced to the Western world after the early European exploration of the Americas in the late fifteenth century.  The ash-heap (stack or pile of ashes or other refuse) dates from the 1640s and seems to have been invented by foundry workers, who presumably produced more ash than most, at a time when their processes were mostly wood-fired.  The ash-pit (repository for ashes, especially in the lower part of a furnace) was first recorded in 1797 and reflected the increasing size of furnaces technological progress made possible; it was the “big brother” to the earlier ash-hole, in use since the 1640s, which continued to be used to describe the architecture of smaller installations.  It’s not known if regional variations in pronunciation meant “ash-hole” sometimes cause problems.

Lindsay Lohan imagined as an ash-blonde.

The phrase “ashes to ashes” is from the Church of England’s (Anglican) burial ritual, mentioned first in the Book of Common Prayer (1549) as part of the service's committal: “Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother [or sister] here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”  It’s an echo of biblical passage from Genesis 3:19: “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.”  Over time, “ashes to ashes” transcended its religious origin and has come to be used to allude to the cyclical nature of life and the inevitability of death.  Long pre-dating Christianity, ashes, as a reminder of finality, had been an ancient symbol of grief or repentance, their presence a part of pagan rituals and the early Church picked this up, the tradition beginning when Pope Gregory I (circa 540–604; usually styled Saint Gregory the Great, pope 590-604) sprinkled ashes on the heads of penitents on the first day of Lent although it wasn’t formalized in the ecclesiastical calendar until the fourteenth century, “ashes” having come to mean “the mortal remains of a person” by at least the late thirteenth century and alluded to the ancient custom of cremation.  The use to refer to the finely pulverized lava ejected from volcanoes dates from the 1660s.

Craftspersons (and some these days are other than male) in the Morgan factory at Malvern Link, Worcestershire in the UK, fashioning & fabricating ash frames (left) and 1973 Morgan +8 (right).

With only detail changes, the appearance of the roadsters (and the underlying ash frame, the patterns for which haven’t changed since 1937) in 2023 has little changed since the 1950s and the ancestry of the machines from the 1930s is obvious, the similarities out-numbering the differences.  It’s a persistent myth that under the skin, the Morgan’s platform is made entirely of wood but the truth is the chassis has always been rendered in steel & aluminum onto which is mounted the ash frame, to which the aluminum external panels are attached.  Each roadster takes three weeks to complete.

The “Ashes obituary”, 1882.

The Ashes is the (usually biannual) test cricket series conducted between Australia and England (who toured as the MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club) until 1970).  The term “The Ashes” dates from a satirical obituary published in a UK newspaper in 1882, the day after Australia recorded its first test victory on English soil.  The “obituary” noted the death of English cricket and that “the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia”.  The idea caught on and as a prelude to the MCC’s next tour of Australia in 1882–1883, the press frequently mentioned the importance of regaining “those ashes”.  This the MCC’s captain vowed to do and after taking an unassailable 2-0 lead in the three-match series the job was done and some ladies presented him with a small urn (of unknown provenance although it may have been used for scent) said to contain the ashes of a wooden bail, humorously referred to as “the ashes of Australian cricket”.  Although it took some years before the contest between the teams was institutionalized as “the Ashes” since the 1920s that’s how they’ve been known.

Former England captain Mike Brearley (b 1942) with the Ashes urn, 1977.

The actual “ashes”, the original urn which has rarely left the MCC Museum at Lord's Cricket Ground in London since being presented to the club in 1927, is tiny, just over four inches (105 mm) high which is remarkable for a trophy which is of such significance to both nations.  It’s something like the sense of English understatement expressed when one compares No 10 Downing Street to something like the Élysée Palace which isn’t a wholly fair juxtaposition but they are, in a sense, comparable national symbols.  Certainly, the modest Ashes urn (originally a mass-produced, terracotta item little different from the thousands sold at the time in seaside souvenir shops) has about it noting of the grandeur of something like the America’s Cup (known as the Auld Mug; 1.1m (43 inches) high and weighing in at a hefty 14 kg odd (30+ lb) or any number of trophies in sports like rugby, football, tennis et al.  As a consolation for the original remaining locked up the MCC, in recent series, larger trophies with designs which acknowledge the little urn are now awarded to the victorious team.

Sir Lewis Hamilton contemplating a "plastic" trophy, Silverstone, 2014.

So trophies don’t have to be imposingly large or obviously expensive to be sought after as long as they’re vested with an appropriate history.  However, there can be some expectation of bling for those won by those contesting one-off events of some significance and Formula One driver Sir Lewis Hamilton (b 1985), prompted apparently by being awarded a “plastic” trophy after winning the 2014 British Grand Prix at Silverstone, later suggested it looked like it might be worth about £10, rather less than the traditional RAC (Royal Automobile Club) Gold Cup (he was subsequently presented with the cup at a press conference).  Warming to the topic though, Sir Lewis said he’d noted an obvious decline in the quality of the trophies awarded to Grand Prix winners and that he’d brought the matter to the attention of the then head of the F1 Bernie Ecclestone (b 1930).  It’s estimated the Ashes urn in 1882 would have been purchased for less than whatever was the equivalent then of £10 in 2014 so history and aura can be worth more than bling.

Lindsay Lohan with some trophies.  Sir Lewis might reflect things could have been worse.

Ashplant

Ashplant (pronounced ash-plahnt (U) or ash-plant (non-U))

(1) A walking stick made from an ash sapling (mostly Irish)

(2) An ash sapling.

(3) A stick kept for administering corporal punishment, a cane.

(4) The construct was ash +‎ plant

Ash was from the pre-900 Middle English asshe, from the Old English æsc.  It was cognate with the Frisian esk, the Middle Low German & Middle Dutch asch, the Old Saxon & Old High German asc (the German Esche, with an altered vowel from the adjective derivative eschen (the Middle High German eschîn) and the Old Norse askr (akin to the Latin ornus, the Welsh onnen, the Russian yáseń, the Polish jesion, the Czech jasan, the Lithuanian úosis, the Armenian hatshi, the Albanian ah (beech), from the unattested primitive Indo-European ōs & os (ash (tree).  The rare plural axen was from the Middle English axen & axnen, from the Old English axan & asċan (ashes) (the plural of the Old English axe & æsċe (ash)).  Ash in the sense of (residue after burning; remains) was from the circa 950 Middle English aisshe & asshe, from the Old English asce& æsċe, from the Proto-West Germanic askā, from the Proto-Germanic askǭ (related to the Frisian esk, the West Frisian jiske, the Dutch asch & as, the Old Norse & Old High German aska (source of the modern German Asche), the Low German Asch, the Danish aske, the Swedish aska and the Norwegian ask), from the primitive Indo-European hehs.  The Gothic azgo, although apparently from the unattested Germanic askōn-, remain mysterious.  The European forms were akin to the Latin ārēre (to be dry) (related to the modern “arid”) & āra (altar), the Oscan aasaí (on the altar), the Tocharian ās- (to get dry; to dry out), the Sanskrit ā́sa- (ashes), the Hittite hassi (on the hearth), from the unattested primitive Indo-European root as- (to burn, glow).  Plant was from the Middle English plante, from the Old English plante (young tree or shrub, herb newly planted), from the Latin planta (sprout, shoot, cutting).  The extended sense of "vegetable life, vegetation " was from the Old French plante.  Plant was a doublet of clan, borrowed from Celtic languages.  The verb was from the Middle English planten, from the Old English plantian (to plant), from the Latin plantāre (later influenced by the Old French planter).  It was related to the Dutch planten (to plant), the German pflanzen (to plant), the Swedish plantera (to plant) and the Icelandic planta (to plant).

An Irish ashplant.

Except in Ireland and within the Irish diaspora, ashplant is an unfamiliar word and rarely heard except among the Joycians because it’s so memorably a part of James Joyce’s (1882-1941) Ulysses (1922).  In Ulysses, the ashplant is of course a walking stick fashioned from an ash sapling but Joyce uses it to symbolize the holder’s divinity by linking him to the natural and supernatural.  A simple growth from the a tree uprooted from the soil, it’s used both to provide a balance to that ground and as a kind of wand used in religious and quasi-religious rituals; certainly, it’s owner believes it vested with magical powers.  Beyond that, the Joycians have made much of it as an allegorical device but in this, opinions vary, one Joycian often able to find a meaning hidden to others.

The ashplant is probably best remembered for its place in the brothel scene in “Circe” where it’s part of the “dance of death” after which it’s used to smash a chandelier in an act of rebellion against God.  Joyce uses the ashplant also in the literary and historical allusion with which the work is peppered.  In “Proteus” it becomes a Roman "augur's rod of ash" (a curved stick with powers of divination delivered by interpreting the will of the gods by observing the flight of birds) while in the brothel scene it transforms into Nothung, Siegfried's magical sword from the Norse myths familiar from Richard Wagner's (1813–1883) Ring cycle (Der Ring des Nibelungen (The Ring of the Nibelung) (1869-1876)).  Permeating the entire text is the idea of the ashplant representing the cross carried by Christ but, more practically, the author notes it’s handy to have to protect one against the attacks of wild dogs.

Soda

Soda (pronounced soh-duh)

(1) In science and industry, a common verbal shorthand for various simple inorganic compounds of sodium (sodium carbonate (washing soda), sodium bicarbonate (baking soda), and sodium hydroxide (caustic soda) et al).

(2) A common clipping of soda water.

(3) A fizzy drink made with carbonated water (water impregnated with pressurized carbon dioxide, originally made with sodium bicarbonate), flavoring (such as fruit or other syrups) and often ice cream, milk etc (once exclusively North American use, now more common); a shortening of the original "soda-pop".

(4) In the game of faro, the top card in the pack, discarded at the start, the game played with 51 cards.

(5) In Australian slang, something easily done (obsolete).

1490s:  From the Italian sida (sodium carbonate; an alkaline substance extracted from certain ashes), from the Medieval Latin soda (a kind of saltwort (sodanum barilla; a plant burned to obtain a type of sodium carbonate)) of uncertain origin.  It was once thought to have been from the Arabic suwwādah (a similar type of plant) but this is now discounted by most but may be from the Catalan sosa, first noted in the late thirteenth century.  There is also the speculative suggestion there may be some connection with the Medieval Latin sodanum (a headache remedy), ultimately from the Arabic suda (splitting headache).

Soda is found naturally in alkaline lakes, in deposits where such lakes have dried, and from ash produced by burning various plants close to sources of salt-water.  It was one of the most traded commodities in the medieval Mediterranean and manufacture of it at industrial scale began in France in the late eighteenth century and the smaller operations gradually closed as transportation links improved.  .  The metallic alkaline element sodium was named in 1807 by English chemist Humphry Davy (1778-1829), so called because the element was isolated from caustic soda (sodium hydroxide); the chemical symbol Na is from natrium, the alternative name for the element proposed by Swedish chemist Jöns Jacob Berzelius (1779–1848) from natron (a naturally occurring mixture of sodium carbonate decahydrate (Na₂CO₃·10H₂O).

A "soda spiral".

The soda-cracker, first sold in 1863, has baking soda as an ingredient.  Although modern, commercially bottled soda water now rarely contains soda (in any form), the name is a hangover from 1802 when “soda water” was first used to describe water into which carbonic acid had been forced under pressure, the meaning “"carbonated water" dating from 1834.  In the mid-nineteenth century, it became popular to flavor soda water with various sweetened concoctions (typically fruits rendered with sugar syrup) and after 1863 these were often called soda pop, the clipping “soda” (flavored, sweetened soda water) the most common use of the word in North America (it quickly supplanted “pop”, one of the occasions where a two-syllable slang was preferred over a shorter form).  The soda fountain dates from 1824 and originally described a counter in a shop at which sodas, ice-creams etc were prepared and served; later it was used of the self-serve machines which dispensed fizzy drinks at the push of a button.  Someone employed to run such a counter was described first (1883) as soda-jerker, the slang clipped to soda-jerk in 1915.  The colloquial pronunciation sody was noted in US Midwestern use at the turn of the twentieth century.  Synonyms for the drink includes: carbonated drink, fizzy drink, fizz (UK), (fizzy) pop (Northern US, Canada), soda pop (US), soft drink, lemonade and (the colloquial) thirst-buster.

The extraordinary range of derived terms (technical & commercial) includes: soda glass, Club Soda, cream soda, Creaming Soda, ice-cream soda, muriate of soda, nitrate of soda, soda-acid, soda ash, soda biscuit, soda cracker, soda bread, soda cellulose, soda counter, soda fountain, sodaic, soda jerk, soda jerker, soda lake, soda-lime glass, sodalite, soda lye, sodamide, soda niter, soda nitre, diet soda, soda paper, soda pop, lite soda, soda prairie, ginger soda, soda process, soda pulp, soda siphon, Soda Springs, soda waste, soda water, sodium, sulfate of soda, sulphate of soda, sulfite of soda, sulphite of soda, washing soda, baking soda & caustic soda.

The Soda Geyser Car.

For girls and boys who wish to explore the possibilities offered by the chemical reaction between soda and Mentos®, the Soda Geyser Car is available for US$22.95, offering both amusement and over a dozen experiments with which to demonstrate Newton's laws of motion.  In its default configuration it will travel over 200' (60 m) (the warning label cautioning it's not suitable for those aged under three and that it may upset pet cats etc) but for those who want more, it's possible to concoct more potent fuels, a recipe for the ominous sounding “Depth Charger” included.  Tinkerers can adapt this technology to experiment with their own rockets and the kit includes:

Mentos® Soda Car
Turbo Geyser Tube.
Roll of Mentos®
2 Liter Bottle.
Inflation Needle.
Nose Cone.
Geyser Rocker Car Frame.
Flagpole.
Decals.
Velcro Straps.
Experiment and activity guide.

Dirty Soda

The Doctrine and Covenants (the D&C (1835) and usually referred to as the Word of Wisdom) is the scriptural canon of the Church of the Latter Day Saints (the Mormons), section 89 of which provides dietary guidelines which prohibit, inter-alia, the consumption of alcohol, tobacco, and hot drinks (ie tea & coffee).  This index of forbidden food accounts not only for why noted Mormon Mitt Romney usually looks so miserable but also why manufacturers of chocolate, candy & soda have long found Utah a receptive and lucrative market; other than joyful singing, the sugary treats are among their few orally enjoyed pleasures.

It therefore surprised few that it was between two Utah-based operations that law suits were exchanged over which owned the right to sell “dirty sodas”.  Mormons aren’t allowed to do anything “dirty” (though it's rumored some do) so the stakes obviously were high, a dirty soda as close to sinfulness as a reading of the D&C will seem to permit.  A dirty soda is a soda flavored with “spikes” of cream, milk, fruit purees or syrups and is a kind of alcohol-free mocktail and the soda shops Sodalicious and Swig had both been active promoters of the sugary concept which has proven increasingly profitable.

Mitt Romney (b 1947; Republican nominee in the 2012 US presidential election, US senator (Republican-Utah) since 2019), buying 12-packs of Caffeine Free Diet Coke and Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, Hunter's Shop and Save, Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, August 2012.  Mitt knows how to have a good time.

In documents filed in court in 2015, Swig had accused Sodalicious of copying their trademarked “dirty” idea, even replicating the frosted sugar cookies sold alongside the spiked drinks.  Both shops had become well-known for their soda mixology, Swig’s concoctions including the Tiny Turtle (Sprite spiked with green apple and banana flavors) and the company sought damages and a restraining order, preventing Sodalicious from using descriptions or signage with any similarity to Swig’s.  Sodalicious counter-sued, claiming “dirty” is a longtime moniker for martinis and other cocktails, noting the product differentiation in their names for dirty sodas such as “The Second Wife” (a daring allusion to the polygamous past of the Mormons) and the “The Rocky Mountain High”, made by adding cherry and coconut added to Coca-Cola.  The case concluded with an out-of-court settlement, neither side seeking costs and no details of the terms were revealed.

Long time Pepsi consumer, Lindsay Lohan.

In December 2022, as a holiday season promotion, the Pepsi Corporation teamed with Lindsay Lohan to promote Pilk.  A Pilk is a mix of Pepsi Cola and milk, one of a class of dirty sodas created by PepsiCo which includes the Naughty & Ice, the Chocolate Extreme, the Cherry on Top, the Snow Float and the Nutty Cracker.  All are intended to be served with cookies (biscuits) and although Ms Lohan confessed to being “…a bit skeptical when I first heard of this pairing”, she was quickly converted, noting that “…after my first sip I was amazed at how delicious it was, so I’m very excited for the rest of the world to try it.”  Tied in nicely with her current Netflix movie “Falling for Christmas”, the promotional clip explores the pilk as a modern take on the traditional milk & cookies left in thanks for Santa Claus and the opportunity to don the Santa outfit from Mean Girls (2004) wasn’t missed, the piece concluding with the line : “This is one dirty soda Santa”.

Santa Redux: A Mean Girls moment celebrated with a pilk, PepsiCo dirty soda promotion, 2022.   

PepsiCo provided other dirty soda recipes:

(1) The Naughty & Ice: For a pure milk taste that's infused with notes of vanilla, measure and combine 1 cup of whole milk, 1 tbsp of heavy cream and 1 tbsp of vanilla creamer.  From there, pour the mixture slowly into 1 cup of Pepsi – the brand's hero product – and consume it alongside a chocolate chip cookie.

(2) The Chocolate Extreme: Blend 1/3 cup of chocolate milk and 2 tbsp of chocolate creamer together, transfer the mixture to 1 cup of smooth & creamy Pepsi Nitro to enjoy the richness of the flavor atop of a frothy foam head.  This "Pilk" will satisfy the chocoholic in you, especially by pairing it with a double chocolate cookie.

(3) The Cherry on Top: A hint of cherry always sweetens the deal.  Combine ½ cup of 2% milk, 2 tbsp of heavy cream and 2 tbsp of caramel creamer.  To bring the complex flavors to life, place the mixture into 1 cup of Pepsi Wild Cherry while pairing the drink with a gingerbread cookie.

(4) The Snow Fl(oat): An oatmeal-based cookie loaded with raisins is sure to complement an oat milk "Pilk".  Start by taking ½ cup of oat milk and adding 4 tbsp of caramel creamer.  Then, slowly pour the sweet mixture into a glass filled with 1 cup of Pepsi Zero Sugar.

(5) The Nutty Cracker: Combine ½ cup of almond milk and 4 tbsp of coconut creamer and place the mixture atop a pool of smooth & creamy Nitro Pepsi Vanilla.  For true richness, pair with a coated peanut butter cookie.

Historically, PepsiCo’s advertising always embraced DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion), depicting blondes, brunettes and redheads.  They needed just to be white, slender and attractive.

PepsiCo dirty soda promotion, 2022.

7up advertising from the 1950s.

The idea of combining milk and soft-drinks has a history in the US and it may have been a cultural practice although given there seems nothing to suggest it ever appeared in depictions of popular culture, it may have been something regional or occasionally faddish.  The 7up corporation in the 1950s used advertising which recommended adding the non-carbonated drink to milk as a way of inducing children who "won't drink milk" to up their dairy intake.  The reference in the copy to "mothers know" does suggest the idea may have been picked up from actual practice and although today nutritionists and dentists might not endorse the approach, there are doubtless other adulterations of milk which are worse still for children to take.

Herringbone

Herringbone (pronounced her-ing-bohn)

(1) A pattern, the weave resembling the skeleton of a herring fish, consisting of adjoining vertical rows of slanting lines, any two contiguous lines forming either a V or an inverted V, used in masonry, textiles, embroidery etc and .  Also called chevron, chevron weave, herringbone weave; a type of twill weave having this pattern.

(2) A fabric constructed with this weave.

(3) A garment made from such a fabric, applied especially to jackets and coats.

(4) In skiing, a method of going up a slope in which a skier sets the skis in a form resembling a V, and, placing weight on the inside edges, advances the skis by turns using the poles from behind for push and support.

(5) A type of cirrocumulus cloud.

1645–1655: The construct was herring + bone.  Herring was from the Middle English hering, from the Old English hǣring, from the Proto-West Germanic hāring (herring) of unknown origin but it may be related to the Proto-Germanic hērą (hair) due to the similarity of the fish’s fine bones to hair. It was cognate with the Scots hering & haring, the Saterland Frisian Hiering & Häiring, the West Frisian hjerring, the Dutch haring, the German and Low German Hereng & Hering, the French hareng, the Norman ĥéren and the Latin haringus; all borrowings from the Germanic.  Bone is from the Middle English bon, from the Old English bān (bone, tusk; bone of a limb), from the Proto-Germanic bainą (bone), from bainaz (straight), from the primitive Indo-European bheyhz (to hit, strike, beat).  It was cognate with the Scots bane, been, bean, bein & bain (bone), the North Frisian bien (bone), the West Frisian bien (bone), the Dutch been (bone; leg), the Low German Been & Bein (bone), the German Bein (leg), the German Gebein (bones), the Swedish ben (bone; leg), the Norwegian and Icelandic bein (bone), the Breton benañ (to cut, hew), the Latin perfinēs (break through, break into pieces, shatter) and the Avestan byente (they fight, hit). It was related also to the Old Norse beinn (straight, right, favorable, advantageous, convenient, friendly, fair, keen) (from which Middle English gained bain, bayne, bayn & beyn (direct, prompt), the Scots bein & bien (in good condition, pleasant, well-to-do, cozy, well-stocked, pleasant, keen), the Icelandic beinn (straight, direct, hospitable) and the Norwegian bein (straight, direct, easy to deal with).  The use to describe a type of cirrocumulus cloud dates from 1903.  The alternative form is herring-bone (not herring bone which would be a bone of a herring).

The herringbone shape (left) and a herring's bones (right).

The herringbone pattern picked up its rather fanciful name because of a resemblance to the fine bones of the fish.  First used in masonry, the motif has for centuries been used in wallpaper, mosaics, upholstery, fabrics, clothing and jewellery.  In engineering, the pattern is found also in the shape cut for some gears but this functionally deterministic.

Roman herringbone brickwork, Villa Rustica, Mehring, Trier-Saarburg, Rhineland, Germany.

The original herringbone design was a type of masonry construction (called opus spicatum, literally "spiked work”) used first in Ancient Rome, widely adopting during medieval times and especially associated with Gothic Revival architecture; it’s commonly seen today.  It's defined by bricks, tiles or cut stone laid in a herringbone pattern and is a happy coincidence of style and structural integrity.  Although most associated with decorative use, in many cases the layout was an engineering necessity because if tiles or bricks are laid in straight lines, the structure is inherently weak whereas if built using oblique angles, under compression, loads are more evenly distributed.  One of the reasons so much has survived from antiquity is the longevity of the famously sticky Roman concrete, the durability thought in part due to chemical reactions with an unusual Roman ingredient: volcanic ash.

1973 Holden Monaro GTS (253) with Herringbone cloth inserts (left) and replica fabric now available from Global Trim (right).  In 1973, Holden replaced the previous houndstooth cloth insert option with one in a herringbone pattern (Ranier, option code 30Y), the most popular combination early in the availability being 1854-30Y (black vinyl + herringbone cloth inserts); the factory code for an all vinyl interior in black was 1854-30X.  At the time, option 30Y listed at Aus$75.00 (4 seats) and Global Trim's replica fabric is Aus$330 per metre (the bolts 1.5m wide); to re-trim an interior demands 2m. 

Lindsay Lohan in herringbone flat-cap.

Of gears

Although the term “herringbone cut gears” is more poetic, to engineers they’re known as double helical gears.  In both their manufacturing and operation they do present challenges, the tooling needed in their production demanding unusually fine tolerances and in use a higher degree of alignment must be guaranteed during installation.  Additionally, depending on use, there is sometimes the need periodically to make adjustments for backlash (although in certain (usually lower-speed) applications they can be designed to minimize this).  However, because of the advantages the herringbone structure offers over straight cut, spur or helical gears, the drawbacks can be considered an acceptable trade-off, the principle benefits being:

(1) Smoothness of operation and inherently lower vibration:  The herringbone shape inherently balances the load on the teeth, reducing vibration and generated noise.

(2) A high specific load capacity: The symmetrical design of herringbone gears offers a high surface area and an even distribution of load, meaning larger and more robust teeth may be used, making the design idea for transmitting high torque or power.

(3) A reduction in axial thrust: Probably the reasons engineers so favour the herringbone is that axial thrust can be reduced (in certain cases to the point of effective elimination).  With helical gears, the axial force imposed inherently acts to force gears apart whereas the herringbone gears have two helical sections facing each other, the interaction cancelling the axial thrust, vastly improving mechanical stability.

(4) Self-regulating tolerance for misalignment. Herringbone handle small variations in alignment better than spur gears or single helical gears, the opposing helix angles assisting in compensating for any axial misalignment, contributing to smoother gear meshing and extending the life of components.

(5) Heat dissipation qualities: The symmetrical structure assists heat dissipation because the opposing helices create a distribution of heat through a process called mutual heat-soak, reducing the risk of localized overheating, something which improves thermal efficiency by making the heat distribution pattern more uniform.

Gears: helical (left), herringbone (or double helical) (centre) and straight-cut (right).  Although road cars long ago abandoned them, straight-cut gears are still used in motorsport where drivers put up with their inherent whine and learn the techniques needed to handle the shifting.

Dwarf

Dwarf (pronounced dwawrf)

(1) A person of abnormally small stature owing to a pathological condition, especially one suffering from cretinism or some other disease that produces disproportion or deformation of features and limbs.  In human pathology, dwarfism is usually defined, inter-alia, as an adult height less than 1.47 m (4 ft 10 in).

(2) In zoology & botany, an animal or plant much smaller than the average of its kind or species.

(3) In European folklore, a being in the form of a small, often misshapen and ugly, man, usually having magic powers.

(4) In Norse mythology, any member of a race of beings from (especially Scandinavian and other Germanic) folklore, usually depicted as having some sort of supernatural powers and being skilled in crafting and metalworking, often as short with long beards, and sometimes as clashing with elves.

(5) In astronomy, a small version of a celestial body (planet, moon, galaxy, star etc).

(6) Of unusually small stature or size; diminutive; to become stunted or smaller.

Pre 900: From the Middle English dwerf, dwergh, dwerw & dwerȝ, from the Old English dweorh & dweorg (dwarf), replacing the Middle English dwerg and ultimately from the Proto-Germanic dwergaz.  It was cognate with the Scots dwerch, the Old High German twerg & twerc (German Zwerg), the Old Norse dvergr (Swedish dvärg), the Old Frisian dwirg (West Frisian dwerch), the Middle Low German dwerch, dwarch & twerg (German & Low German Dwarg & Dwarch) and the Middle Dutch dwerch & dworch (Dutch dwerg).  The Modern English noun has undergone complex phonetic changes. The form dwarf is the regular continuation of Old English dweorg, but the plural dweorgas gave rise to dwarrows and the oblique stem dweorge which led to dwery, forms sometimes found as the nominative singular in Middle English texts and in English dialects.  Dwarf is a noun and verb, dwarfness & dwarfishness are nouns, dwarfish & dwarflike are adjectives and dwarfishly is an adverb.  The plural forms are dwarves and dwarfs.  Dwarfs was long the common plural in English but after JRR Tolkien (1892-1973) used dwarves, his influence was enough to become the standard plural form for mythological beings.  For purposes non-mythological, dwarfs remains the preferred form.

The M Word

1972 MG Midget (RWA) in British Racing Green (BRG).

Dwarf seems still to be an acceptable term to describe those with dwarfism and Little People of America (LPA), the world’s oldest and largest dwarfism support organization (which maintains an international, membership-based organization for people with dwarfism and their families) has long campaigned to abolish the use of the word “midget” in the context of short humans.  The objection to midget is associative.  It was never part of the language of medicine and it was never adopted as official term to identify people with dwarfism, but was used to label used those of short stature who were on public display for curiosity and sport, most notoriously in the so-called “freak shows”.  Calling people “midgets” is thus regarded as derogatory.  Midget remains an apparently acceptable word to use in a historic context (midget submarine, MG Midget et al) or to describe machinery (midget car racing; the Midget Mustang aerobatic sports airplane) but no new adoptions have been registered in recent years.  The LPA is also reporting some supportive gestures, noting with approval the decision of the Agricultural Marketing Service (AMS) of the US Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) to revise the nomenclature used in the US standards for grades of processed raisins by removing five references to the term “midget”.  Although obviously a historically benign use of the word, its removal was a welcome display of cultural sensitivity.

An interesting outlier however is midget wrestling, a field in which the participants are said enthusiastically to support the label, citing its long traditions and the marketing value of the brand.  Although in the late twentieth century, midget wrestling’s popularity diminished in the last decade there’s be a resurgence of interest and the sport is now a noted content provider for the streaming platforms which run live and recorded footage.  Since the 1970s, midget wrestling has included styles other than the purely technical form with routines extending from choreographed parody and slapstick performances to simulated sexual assault.  These innovations have attracted criticism and the suggesting it’s a return to the freak shows of earlier centuries but audiences in the target demographic seem appreciative and, noting the success of a number of tours and operators, Major League Wrestling in 2022 announced the creation of a midget division.

The MG Midget

Where it began: 1930 MG M-Type Midget Roadster.

The earliest cars to wear MG badge (the name originally “Morris Garages”, an operation which had the same relationship to Morris as AMG does to Mercedes-Benz (ie high-performance variants)) were tuned (and often re-bodied) editions of existing Morris models but in 1928 the 8/33 M.G Midget Sports Series M (truncated usually to “M Type” was displayed at the 1928 London Olympia Motor, series production commencing the next season.  The first of a long line of tiny roadsters, 3,232 would be made between 1929-1932 and the one in the photographs above is fitted with coachwork typical of the era: an open two-seater in the fashionable “boat-tail” style, constructed by Carbodies of Coventry using construction technique which began in aviation, the panels a mix of steel and fabric-covered plywood over an ash frame.  The fabric soft-top was stored under the rear deck along its frame, tools and a spare wheel.  In the spirit of the age, a rakish two-piece windshield was fitted and there was no provision for a heater.  Despite the minimalist accommodation, the engine was surprisingly advanced, the four-cylinder engine using a bevel-gear-driven single overhead cam turning off the vertically mounted generator, 27 horsepower at a then impressive 5400 rpm generated from a displacement of 847 cm3 (51.68 cubic inches).  A footnote in the Midget’s history is that the first exported to the US was in 1930 bought by Edsel Ford (1893–1943; president of the Ford Motor Company (FoMoCo) 1919–1943), then titular head of his father’s (Henry Ford (1863-1947)) eponymous Motor company which, by the million, built larger vehicles.

1960 Austin-Healey Sprite Mark I (top left), 1966 MG Midget Mark II (top right), 1973 MG Midget Mark III (RWA, bottom left) and 1979 MG Midget Mark IV (bottom right).

For a new generation (1961-1979) of diminutive roadsters, MG revived the Midget name last used on the M-Type. MG was by the 1950s part of British Motor Corporation (BMC (1952-1967) which later would be absorbed by the doomed British Leyland (1968–1990)) and a corporate companion marquee was Austin-Healey which between 1958-1961 produced the Sprite (known variously as the “bugeye” or “frogeye”), a small sports car, built on the familiar template of economy car underpinnings with a stylish body.  After the release of the MGA (1955-1962), MG no longer had a competitor in the low-price segment so BMC took the decision that the two companies would share the model, yet another example of the “badge engineering” which BMC pragmatically (and for a while lucratively) would exploit until the process descended into self-defeating absurdity.  When the Mark II Sprites were released in 1961 (without the distinctive headlights which were the source of the nicknames), simultaneously there was the debut of the Midget, the latter slightly more expensive and better equipped, although both remained basic roadsters in the old tradition, lacking fittings such as side windows and external door-handles.  The Sprite would continue in three versions (Mark II; 1961-1964, Mark III; 1964-1966, Mark IV 1966-1971) before, following the end of BMC’s contractual arrangement with Donald Healey (1898–1988), briefly it was sold as the Austin Sprite (1971-1972) before the name was retired and the segment was left to MG.  In the decade they’d been companion models, the pair significantly had been improved, gaining power, refinement and creature comforts (the overdue door handles and side windows part of the Mark II upgrades) but what never changed were the dimensions, the things always small, something the balanced styling tended to disguise, the compactness best appreciated when one was seen parked next to a more typically sized vehicle; the Sprite and Midget being dwarfed.

Almost 130,000 Sprites were built while Midget production (which lasted until 1980) totalled some 225,000, the most numerous being the later models (Mk III; 1966–1974: 100,246 units & 1500; 1974–1979: 81,916 units).  A decade before production ended it was already outdated but such was the charm (and lack of competition) that demand remained strong almost to the end.  The most fancied Midgets are the so-called RWA (round wheel arch) models produced between 1972-1974; these adopted the design used on the rear of the bugeyes and are considered the best looking (as well as making the use of wider rear tyres easier) but in 1974 MG had to revert to the squared-off look because the strength gain from the additional metal was necessary to support the large “rubber” bumpers added to conform with US regulations; the RWA bodywork was found to be prone to damage when the rear-impact tests were conducted.  Even before the huge bumpers unhappily had been grafted, US market cars had for some months had large rubber “buffers” bolted to the chrome bumpers, known in the US as “Dagmars” and in the UK as “Sabrinas” both names tributes to the hardly vague anatomical similarity with the two pop culture figures.  Along with the big bumpers, to comply with minimum headlight height regulations in the US, the suspension height was raised by about an inch (25 mm), something which raised the centre of gravity and thus affected the handling characteristics, something adjustments to the anti-roll bars only partially ameliorated.  Visually, the increased height was disguised by lowering curve of the front wheel arch.

Triumph Spitfire, also a midget-sized roadster

A midget (with a small “m”) dwarfed by two behemoths: A 1977 Triumph Spitfire between two Ford Super Duty F-450s heavy pick-up trucks.  At their intended purpose (carrying or towing heavy payloads) Ford’s Super Duty heavy pick-up trucks perform well but such is the consumer appeal they’re a not uncommon sight used as passenger vehicles, even in cities; they can thus be both a personal and political statement, owners delighted Ford has made pick-ups great again (MPUGA).

Adopted for the range in 1999, Ford between 1958-1981 had previously used the “Super Duty” label on three large displacement (401, 477 & 534 cubic inch (6.6, 7.8 & 8.8 litre) gas (petrol) V8s, the family one of a remarkable variety of different V8s the corporation produced during the 1950s & 1960s.  Big, heavy and low-revving, the Super Duty V8 were legendarily robust and famed for their longevity but were doomed ultimately by their prodigious thirst.  They were intended only for heavy-duty, industrial use and in that very different from the Pontiac Super Duty (SD) V8s which were high-performance units, the early versions in the 1960s optimized for drag racing while the revival the next decade was the final fling of the original muscle car era (1964-1974).  The 389 & 421 cubic inch (6.4 & 6.9 litre) versions were offered between 1960-1963 while the 455 (7.5) appeared in 1973-1974 and had it not been for the 455 SD Pontiac Firebirds in those years, the muscle car era would have been regarded as having ended in 1972.  The Watergate-era 455 SD is also a footnote in the history of environmental law because Pontiac (in a preview of Volkswagen’s later “Dieselgate”) used a device to “cheat” on emission testing being undertaken as part of the certification process.  Caught re-handed, Pontiac, guilty as sin, was compelled to remove the “cheat gear” and re-submit a vehicle for testing; that’s the reason the 1973-1974 455 SD was rated at 290 horsepower (HP) rather than the 310 of the original (and more toxic) engine.

1967 Triumph Spitfire Mark II (left) and 1972 Triumph Spitfire Mark IV (with after-market exhaust tips, right).

The Triumph Spitfire had the same relationship to the larger TR sports cars (1952-1976) as the Midget did to the MGB.  Produced in five distinct generations between 1962-1980, like the Sprite & Midget, the Spitfire featured a stylish body atop the platform of a high-volume model and for the coachwork Triumph out-sourced the job to Italy, Giovanni Michelotti (1921–1980) producing a shape which owed nothing to the little Herald (1959-1971) on which it was based.  In continuous production in five versions (Mark I; 1962–1964, Mark II; 1965–1967, Mark III; 1967–1970, Mark IV; 1970–1974 & 1500; 1974–1980), almost 315,000 were built with the later models the most popular, the some 96,000 of the 1500s sold.  Like the Midget, the Spitfire was over the years improved although the things did at least stagnate in the post-1974 US models which became heavier, slower and uglier although in the 1970s that was a general industry trend.  The Although soon under the same corporate umbrella, the Midget & Spitfire were competitors (in the showroom and on the circuits) for almost two decades and when Road & Track magazine in their September 1967 edition published a comparison test, they couldn't decide which was best, concluding: "...whichever one the buyer chooses, he is assured of many miles of motoring pleasure in the great sports car tradition.  They're good cars, both of them.  You can't go wrong."  For the readers that may not have been a great deal of help and the phrasing must have been force of habit because the two little roadsters had always enjoyed some popularity among women.  

The photograph run in 1959 with the caption “Hark the Herald’s axle’s swing” (left) and a Mark I Spitfire's swing axles displaying the same behavior.

The Spitfires of the 1960s were a bit more lively but that description wasn’t always a compliment because, based on the Herald, what was inherited was the swing-axle rear suspension and swing the axles certainly could, leading to a “lively rear”.  When the British motoring press first tested the Herald they noted the behaviour of the swing axles under extreme load and had a photographer appropriately positioned: The caption “Hark the Herald’s axle’s swing” became famous.  None of that deterred Triumph which in 1962 introduced a more powerful version powered by a 1.6 litre (97 cubic inch) straight six.  That meant a faster car which meant the behaviour of the swing axles could be experienced at a higher speed (with all that implies) but the car sold well which was encouraging so Triumph in 1966 fitted a 2.0 litre (122 cubic inch) six.  It was not until 1968 the rear suspension was revised and this curative solved the errant characteristics to a degree which impressed even the usually sceptical motoring journalists and sales remained strong until production ended in 1971.  Offered only in four-cylinder form, the revisions to the Spitfire’s rear suspension were less complex but when tested on the Mark IV in 1970, the improvement was apparent and from this point, criticism ceased of of road-holding at the limit.

1967 Triumph GT6 Mark I (also with after-market exhaust tips, left) and 1979 Triumph Spitfire 1500 (right).  With production ending in 1973, the GT6 was spared from being disfigured by the battering-ram like bumpers imposed on the Spitfire, those on the last of the line (1979-1980) the biggest.

While the roadster never gained six-cylinder power, Triumph from 1966 offered a coupé version (with a convenient hatchback, al la the Jaguar E-Type (XKE, 1961-1974) called the GT6.  Mechanically it followed the Vitesse except it was only ever fitted with the 2.0 litre engine and didn’t receive the suspension fix until the Mark II in 1969 and that transformed things although, being relatively complex it must have been deemed too expensive to justify on what proved a low-volume model and the with the release of the Mark III in 1970, a version of that used on the Spitfire was substituted and it proved just as effective.  Sales of the GT6 never matched the company’s expectation and the market preferred the MGB GT (1965-1980) which used the same concept for the body.  Noting the costs which would have been incurred to make the GT6 compliant with the US regulations to take effect from 1974, production ended in late 1973.  Because the considerably more powerful (especially the fuel-injected versions sold outside the US) 2.5 litre six Triumph used in the TR5 (TR-250 in the US), TR6, 2.5 PI & 2500 is a relatively easy swap, quite a few GT6s have been so upgraded although some attention does need to be paid to the chassis to achieve a completely satisfactory road car.  

The short stature of Victor Emmanuel III (1869–1947; King of Italy 1900-1946) with (left to right), with Aimone of Savoy, King of Croatia (Rome, 1943), with Albert I, King of the Belgians (France, 1915), with his wife, Princess Elena of Montenegro (Rome 1937) & with Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945), observing navy manoeuvres (Gulf of Naples, 1938).  Note his sometimes DPRKesque hats.

Technically, Victor Emmanuel didn’t fit the definition of dwarfism which sets a threshold of adult height at 4 feet 10 inches (1.47 m), the king about 2 inches (50 mm) taller (or less short) and it’s thought the inbreeding not uncommon among European royalty might have been a factor, both his parents and grandparents being first cousins.  However, although not technically a dwarf, that didn’t stop his detractors in Italy’s fascist government calling him (behind his back) il nano (the dwarf), a habit soon picked up the Nazis as der Zwerg (the dwarf) (although Hermann Göring (1893–1946; leading Nazi 1922-1945, Hitler's designated successor & Reichsmarschall 1940-1945) was said to have preferred der Pygmäe (the pygmy)).  In court circles he was knows also (apparently affectionately) as la piccola sciabola (the little sabre) a nickname actually literal in origin because the royal swordsmith had to forge a ceremonial sabre with an unusually short blade for the diminutive sovereign to wear with his many military uniforms.  His French-speaking Montenegrin wife stood a statuesque six feet (1.8 m) tall and always called him mon petit roi (my little king).  It was a long and happy marriage and genetically helpful too, his son and successor (who enjoyed only a brief reign) very much taller although his was to be a tortured existence.  Still, in his unhappiness the scion stood tall and that would have been appreciated by the late Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh (1921–2021) who initially approved of the marriage of Lady Diana Spencer (1960-1997) to the Prince of Wales (b 1948) on the basis that she “would breed some height into the line”.

In cosmology, the word dwarf is applied to especially small versions of celestial bodies.  A dwarf galaxy is a small galaxy of between several hundred and several billion stars, (the Milky Way may have as many as billion) and astronomers have identified many sub-types of dwarf galaxies, based on shape and composition.  A dwarf planet is a small, planetary-mass object is in direct orbit of a star, smaller than any of the eight classical planets but still a world in its own right.  Best-known dwarf planet is now Pluto which used to be a planet proper but was in 2006 unfortunately down-graded by the humorless types at the International Astronomical Union (IAU) who are in charge of such things.  It’s hoped one day this decision will be reversed so Pluto will again be classified a planet.  Dwarf planets are of interest to planetary geologists because despite their size, they may be geologically active bodies.  The term dwarf star was coined when it was realized the reddest stars could be classified as brighter or dimmer than our sun and they were created the categories “giant star” (brighter) and dwarf star (dimmer).  As observational astronomy improved, the

With the development of infrared astronomy there were refinements to the model to include (1) the dwarf star (the “generic” main-sequence star), (2) the red dwarf (low-mass main-sequence star), (3) the yellow dwarfs are (main-sequence stars with masses comparable to that of the Sun, (4) the orange dwarf (between a red dwarf and yellow/white stars), (5) the controversial blue dwarf which is a hypothesized class of very-low-mass stars that increase in temperature as they near the end of their main-sequence lifetime, (6) the white dwarf which is the remains of a dead star, composed of electron-degenerate matter and thought to be the final stage in the evolution of stars not massive enough to collapse into a neutron star or black hole, (7) the black dwarf which is theorized as a white dwarf that has cooled to the point it no longer emits visible light (it’s thought the universe is not old enough for any white dwarf to have yet cooled to black & (8) the brown dwarf, a sub-stellar object not massive enough to ever fuse hydrogen into helium, but still massive enough to fuse deuterium.

Coolest dwarf of all is (9) the ultra-cool dwarf (first defined in 1997), somewhat deceptively named for non cosmologists given the effective temperature can be as high as 2,700 K (2,430°C; 4,400°F); in space, everything is relative.  Because of their slow hydrogen fusion compared to other types of low-mass stars, their life spans are estimated at several hundred billion years, with the smallest lasting for about 12 trillion years.  As the age of the universe is thought to be only 13.8 billion years, all ultra-cool dwarf stars are relatively young and models predict that at the ends of their lives the smallest of these stars will become blue dwarfs instead of expanding into red giants.

Disney's seven dwarfs; they're now cancelled.

The events towards the conclusion of the nineteenth century German fairy tale Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs make ideal reading for young children.  Her evil step-mother has apparently killed poor Snow White so the seven disappointed dwarfs lay her body in a glass coffin.  The very next, a handsome prince happens upon the dwarfs’ house in the forest and is so captivated by her beauty he asks to take her body back to his castle.  To this the dwarfs agree but while on the journey, a slight jolt makes Snow White come to life and the prince, hopelessly in love, proposes and Snow White accepts.  Back at the palace, the prince invites to the wedding all in the land except Snow White's evil stepmother.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, even Happy looking sad.

The step-mother however crashes the wedding and discovers the beautiful Snow White is the bride.  Enraged, she again attempts murder but the prince protects her and, learning the truth from his bride, forces the step-mother to wear a pair of red-hot iron slippers and dance in them until she dies; that takes not long and once she has the decency to drop dead, the nuptials resume.  In the way things happen in fairy tales, the prince and Snow White live happily ever after.

DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion)

The condition achondroplasiaphobia describes those with a “fear of little people".  The construct is achondroplasia (the Latin a- (not) +‎ the Ancient Greek chondro- (cartilage) + the New Latin‎ -plasia (growth); the genetic disorder that causes dwarfism) + phobia (from the New Latin, from the Classical Latin, from the Ancient Greek -φοβία (-phobía) from φόβος (phóbos) (fear).  The condition, at least to the extent of being clinically significant, is thought rare and like many of the especially irrational phobias is induced either by (1) a traumatic experience, (2) depictions in popular culture or (3) reasons unknown.  Achondroplasiaphobia has never appeared in the American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).  In 2006, it was reported that while dining at the Chateau Marmont hotel in Los Angeles, after noticing two people of short stature had entered the restaurant, Lindsay Lohan suffered an "anxiety attack" and hyperventilated to the extent she had to take "an anti-anxiety pill" to calm down.  To her companions she repeatedly said "I’m so scared of them!"  A spokesperson for the LPA responded by suggesting Ms Lohan should "...treat her fear the same as she would a fear of any other protected minority population.  If that fails, she might find diversity training to be useful."  Almost immediately the story appeared, it was debunked by a representative for Ms Lohan who issued a statement  saying she is not achondroplasiaphobic and not in any way scared of little people, adding "Lindsay loves all people."

Prince Charming's non-consensual kiss of Snow White on her "lips red as blood".

In February 2025, Luis Rubiales (b 1977), the former president of the Royal Spanish Football Federation was found guilty of sexual assault for kissing player Jenni Hermoso (b 1990) without her consent and was fined €10,800 so, at least in some jurisdictions, the matter of consenting to a kiss is not mere legal theory.

Among critics and industry analysts, the consensus seem to be that in late 1919 when the project was approved, for Disney to allocate a budget of US$200 million (it ended up being booked at around US$250 million) to a remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) probably was a good idea.  Based on the German fairy tale Sneewittchen which first appeared in print early in the nineteenth century, Disney’s 1937 production was the first animated, full-length feature film made in the US and it was both critically acclaimed and a great commercial success, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1938; adjusted for inflation, it’s success then and since has made it one of the most profitable films ever made.

The elements in its success were (1) the quality of the studio’s work, (2) advances in the technology delivering sight and sound which made the audience's experience so vivid and (3) the threads of the story which are fairy tale classics: A wicked queen, jealous of her stepdaughter’s beauty orders her murder, only to discover she’s hiding out in a cottage with seven dwarves so she poisons her with an adulterated apple, inducing a deep sleep from which she eventually is awoken by the kiss of a handsome prince.  In 1937, had the word “problematic” then been in use, it wouldn't have been applied to anything in the plot but by the early 2020s, things had changed.  In the pre Trump 2.0 era, when DEI (diversity, equity & inclusion) was compulsory, having Snow White gaining her name because her skin was as “white as snow” and the very existence of dwarfs were both definitely “problematic” so the challenge was to keep the “Snow White” in the title while changing troublesome content as required.  That's been done before and had the 2024 US presidential election elected someone (probably anyone) else, Snow White could have appeared in cinemas to lukewarm reviews but a solid box office based on 7-11 year old girls still impressed at Meghan Markle (Meghan, Duchess of Sussex; b 1981) having proved its not only in fairy tales that princes rescue middle-class girls from dreary lives.  Only Fox News would much have bothered with a condemnation.

Times have changed.  Whether it's Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, for a man (whether or not a prince) to kiss an unresponsive female, it's now usually some sort of assault.  An unresponsive female cannot grant consent.

So for Disney, the timing of events was unfortunate but the earlier race and cultural controversies which swirled around the earlier remakes of Mulan (2020) and The Little Mermaid (2023) should have been a warning.  Most jarring perhaps was the absence of “dwarfs” (in the historic sense of the word).  While Snow White is of course the protagonist, in casting terms there was only one of her and seven of them so the substitution of the heptad with “magical creatures” was always going to attract a critique of its own.  According to the studio, it consulted members of the dwarfism community (the so-called “little people”) “to avoid reinforcing stereotypes” before the re-casting but, given the production was, according to many, replete with cultural, sexist and chauvinist tropes, the cancelled dwarfs received less attention than might have been expected.  With reviewers using phrases like “exhaustingly awful reboot” and “tiresome pseudo-progressive additions”, expectations of success for Snow White have been lowered.