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Saturday, October 11, 2025

Dope

Dope (pronounced dohp)

(1) Any thick liquid or pasty preparation, as a lubricant, used in preparing a surface.

(2) A combustible absorbent material (historically sawdust or wood-pulp), used to absorb and hold the nitroglycerine in the manufacture of dynamite (used also of the processes in the manufacture of other products).

(3) An absorbent material, such as sawdust or wood pulp, used to hold the nitroglycerine in dynamite

(4) In aeronautics (and other fields), any of various varnish-like preparations (made by dissolving cellulose derivatives in a volatile solvent) used for coating a fabric (wings, fuselage etc), in order to render it stronger and more taut, aerodynamic and waterproof.

(5) Any of a number of preparations, applied to fabric in order to improve strength, tautness, etc

(6) A chemically similar product used to coat the fabric of a balloon to reduce gas leakage.

(7) An additive used to improve the properties of something (such as the “anti-knock” compounds added to gasoline (petrol).

(8) A thick liquid (typically a lubricant), applied to a surface.

(9) In slang, any narcotic or narcotic-like drug taken to induce euphoria or some other desired effect (and eventually to satisfy addiction); now used most of cannabis although other terms are now more common.

(10) Any illicit drug.

(11) In sport, a “performance enhancing drug” (PED; steroids, peptides etc), taken by athletes.

(12) In horse racing, a narcotic or other drug given surreptitiously to a horse to improve or retard its performance in a race.

(13) In firearms, ballistic data on previously fired rounds, used to calculate the required hold over a target.

(14) In slang, information, data, knowledge or news (sometimes used especially of confidential information).

(15) In slang, someone thought unintelligent, stupid or unresponsive etc.

(16) In US slang (mostly south of the Mason-Dixon Line, especially Appalachia), a carbonated, flavored and sweetened drink (used especially of cola-flavored sodas (soft drinks)).

(17) In US slang (East North Central Division of the Mid-West, especially Ohio), a sweet syrup used as a topping for ice cream.

(18) To affect with dope or drugs.

(19) To add a narcotic or other drug to something.

(20) To give a drug to (an athlete or horse), so as to affect performance in a race (for better or worse) or other competition.

(21) To take illicit drugs (in any context)

(22) In engineering to apply or treat a surface with dope.

(23) In electronics, to add or treat a pure semiconductor with a dopant.

(24) In slang, photographic developing solution

(25) In slang, great; excellent (always regionally variable and now les common).

1807: Apparently a creation of US English meaning “sauce, gravy; any thick liquid”, from the Dutch (dialectical) doop (thick dipping sauce), a derivative of dopen or doopen (to dip, baptize; deep), from the Middle Dutch dopen, from the Old Dutch dōpen, from the Frankish daupijan, from the Proto-Germanic daupijaną.  By extension, by the late nineteenth century it came generally to be used of any mixture or preparation of unknown ingredients producing a thick liquid.  The use of doop in the sense “narcotic drug” was derived ultimately from the viscous opium juice (the drug of choice of the well-connected in Ancient Greece) but in English was in use by at least 1899 and came from the smoking of semi-liquid opium preparations.  The verb use in the sense of “administer a drug to” appeared in print in 1889.  The idea of “insider information” was in use by at least 1901 and is thought to come from the knowledge of knowing which horse in a race had been doped (thus predicting it would run faster or slower than its form would suggest), this sense dating from 1900.  From this idea (inside information) developed the US slang “to dope out” (figure out, clarify).    The sense of “an unintelligent person” may have been used as early as the 1840s and came from the stupefying effects of opium, those intoxicated displaying obvious impaired cognitive facilities.  The word was related to the English dip and the German taufen (to baptize) but not to dopamine which came from chemistry, the construct being (DOPA (dihydroxyphenylalanine) +‎ -amine.

Unlike some constructions in English (eg domelessness (absence of a dome) or the informal gaynessness (“excessive” gayness)), there seems no recorded use of dopnessness.  For the commoly used “dopey”, the comparative is dopier and the superlative dopiest.  The use of “doper” to describe both: (1) someone who administers dope and (2) someone to whom dope is administered differs from the convention used in many words in English (eg payer vs payee) so the non-standard noun dopee can also be a synonym of doper.  Presumably, a useful distinction would be a dopee being one whose dope has been administered by another while a doper is one who self-administers.  Dope is a noun, verb & adjective, dopiness & dopeness are nouns, doper is a noun & adjective, doping is a noun & verb, doped is a verb & adjective and dopey (sometimes spelled dopy (the derived forms following this)) dopier & dopiest are adjectives, the noun plural is dopes.  Acronymfinder list eleven DOPEs, only two of which are narcotic related.

DOPE: Drug Overdose Prevention and Education (various organizations).
DOPE: Department of Public Enterprise.
DOPE: Data on Personal Equipment (sniper rifle data logging).
DOPE: Death or Prison Eventually (movie).
DOPE: Data on Previous Engagement (military sniper term).
DOPE: Drugs Oppress People Everyday.
DOPE: Dartmouth Oversimplified Programming Experiment.
DOPE: Director of Product Enhancements (Dilbert).
DOPE: Displacement of breathing tube, Obstruction, Pneumothorax, Equipment failure.
DOPE: Data Observed from Previous Engagements (ballistics).
DOPE: Director of Performance Enhancement (New York Yankees).

The use by the New York Yankees MLB (Major League Baseball) franchise seems daring given the existence of the Independent Program Administrator (IPA) of the Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program (JBTPT) which monitors the use of PEDs in the sport.  The JBTPT jointly is run by the MLB and the MLBPA (Major League Baseball Players Association) and the IPA oversees all drug testing, collection and enforcement.  Pleasingly, the JBTPB often is referred to as the “Major League Joint Drug Program”.

Dilbert cartoon by Scott Adams, published in 1995 on Bastille Day (14 July). 

First published in 1989, the once widely-syndicated "corporate life" Dilbert cartoon strip dealt with engineers, programmers and such working in a corporation run by those without a technical background, the exemplar of the latter being the “pointy haired boss”.  The cartoon was the work of Scott Adams (b 1957) who in 2023 was “cancelled” after posting a video in which he called “Black Americans”, critical of the slogan “It's okay to be white” because of its association with white supremacist ideology, a “hate group”, suggesting “White Americans” should “get the hell away from” them.  Mr Adams later disavowed racism and moved his output on-line.

On the Dilbert website, Mr Adams stated: “No news about public figures is ever true and in context” and explained his cancellation thus: “If you believe the news, it was because I am a big ol' racist.  Fleshing that out, he added: “If you look into the context, the point that got me cancelled is that CRT [Critical Race Theory], DEI [Diversity, Equity & Inclusion] and ESG [Environmental, Social and Governance] all have in common the framing that White Americans are historically the oppressors and Black Americans have been oppressed, and it continues to this day.  I recommended staying away from any group of Americans that identifies your group as the bad guys, because that puts a target on your back.  I was speaking hyperbolically, of course, because we Americans don't have an option of staying away from each other. But it did get a lot of attention, as I hoped.  (More than I planned, actually).  Dlibert devotees prepared to separate art from artist were advised: “Disgraced and canceled cartoonist Scott Adams has moved his work and upgraded it to a spicier version entitled Dilbert Reborn.

A "Dope Mobile Bookstore" is scheduled to go on-line in December 2025 and there really was briefly a "Dope Mobile" (left) which was an on-line store for mobile phone accessories and should not be confused with a "dopemobile" which is a "dope dealer's" car.  Especially in black, a Chrysler 300 (2005-2023) is almost a cliché as a dopemobile and this 2009 model (on flatbed truck, right) was seized by New Zealand police from the estate of a deceased "dope dealer" (a profession with an unusually high death rate).  The informal term "dopemoble" can mean either (1) a vehicle in which a "dope dealer" transacts "dope deals" or (2) a vehicle believed or proved to have been purchased using the proceeds of "dope dealing".  

Purple Haze, Blue Cheese and more.  The proprietors of Amsterdam’s coffee shops have always come up evocative and fanciful names for dope.  One has to have the coffee one drinks and one has to have the weed one smokes.

In derived terms and idiomatic use, “dope” appears often but because of the dual meaning (narcotics and a varnish-like substance), the same term can mean very different things so context must be noted when assessing a meaning.  A “dope stick” (also as dopestick) can describe (1) a stick or applicator for spreading dope (a viscous liquid or paste used in preparing a surface) on a surface or, in slang (2) a cigar or cigarette, (3) a pipe, (4) a marijuana joint or something similar laced with cocaine or other drug or (5) a penis suffering from priapism (a condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation) as a result of the use of cocaine or heroin.  The condition may sound desirable but is both potentially painful and risks long-term tissue damage.

Color chart, circa 1940. Some of the pigments available for Berry Brothers "Berryloid Pigmented Dopes".

“Dope dick” (impotence induced by heavy drinking or other substance abuse) is a synonym of other slang forms including “coke dick”, “crystal dick”, “whisky dick” & “brewer's droop”.  A “dope whore” is someone addicted to narcotics who finances the habit through prostitution, the synonyms being “coke whore”, “smack slut”, “crack whore” etc.  To “smoke one's own dope” means “to believe one’s own publicity, propaganda, lies or posturing; the synonym is “to drink one's own Kool-Aid”.  For those who like to make such connections, Kool-Aid is the official soft-drink of the US state of Nebraska, otherwise famous only for being the home of billionaire investor Warren Buffett (b 1930).  To “dope out” means “to figure out, to find out, find, decipher”, something Mr Buffet certainly did of investing for profit although wryly, he notes that often when folk ask him the “secret of his success” and he tells them how his strategy worked over decades, there’s an obvious sense of disappointment because what people really want to know is “how can I get rich overnight?  He assures all he doesn’t “have the dope” on that.

Punters dope sheet (form guide), 2024 Melbourne Cup.

A “dope sheet” is a summary (ordinarily in the form of a codified, printed or digital document), containing salient facts and background information concerning a person, activity, or other subject matter.  The origin is thought to be the publications associated with horse racing (the name derived from the suspicion the most accurate indicator of a horse’s performance was whether or not it had been doped with some substance to make it run faster or slower) in which was summarized information about the horses running in certain races.  Such publications are now known variously as scratch sheets, tip sheets, firm guides, best bets etc.  Beyond gambling, “dope sheets” (a term which became misleading because some publications could be quite thick volumes) came to be used in fields as varied as automotive repair and especially in photography, film & animation; in the latter were listed the designer’s detailed instructions for artists & editors (known also as an “exposure sheet”).

Lindsay Lohan gives CNN the dope on dope use during her "troubled starlet" phase.

In the world of narcotics users (there really are many quite separate populations in “doperdom”) dope is sold by a “dope dealer”, “dope-runner”, “dope-pedlar”, “dope-pusher”, “dope-seller” or “dope-man”, sometimes from a “dope-house” whereas a “dopester” is a “street-level” trader who may be operating independently but is typically an agent on commission (paid sometimes “in kind”) and often operating from a "dopemobile").  Both retailers sell to “dope fiends”, “dope chicks”, “dope heads” etc (those who variously use or abuse) while a “dope dog” is a canine used by law enforcement officers to “sniff-out” dope.  The “dope house” must however not be confused with the “dope-shop” which was the part of the factory (typically one manufacturing aircraft) where dope was applied to the fabric laid over the spars of an airframe.  In the “dope house” was employed the “doper” who applied the dope to the fabric (dated) and again the meaning is shared with those involved with narcotics or PEDs.  If the “dope deal” couldn't for whatever reason be executed, the customer was left “dopeless” and those who over-consume could become “dope sick” (in withdrawal from “dope use”) which is different from the potentially fatal “dope overdose”.  “Dope time” & “doper time” both reference the way one’s perception of the passing of time changes when one is under the influence of narcotics.  It’s along the lines of “country mile” (typically somewhat longer than 1760 yards) or “Microsoft minutes” (referencing the dialog boxes which appeared in MS-Windows during certain operations saying something like “17 minutes remaining” which could mean anything from a few seconds to many hours).

The title's play on words is this being “the dope” on “the dope trade” out of Mexico.  In the well-populated sub-culture of narcotics use (illicit and not), there exists a bewildering array of names, vernacular and slang, some now registered trade-marks as many jurisdictions have relaxed the prohibition on “soft drugs’ but “dope” remains the most useful generic “cover-all” term.  Nor is the use of “dope” as a generic new, Lord Moran (Charles Wilson, 1882-1977; president of the Royal College of Physicians 1941-1949, personal physician (1940-1965) to Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) in his diary (Churchill taken from the Diaries of Lord Moran: The Struggle for Survival, 1940–1965 (1966)) noting on 2 December 1952, during a trans-Atlantic flight:

This may be my last journey with Winston.  We began life humbly enough, in an unheated Lancaster bomber, and end it, twelve years later, in high state in the strato-cruiser Canopus. Messages no longer pass to the captain asking at what height we are flying; 18,000 feet or 11,000 feet (both were recorded last night), it is all one to us, pressurized at 5,000 feet.  Most of the seniors and quite a number of the juniors came to me last night for sleeping pills - this weak kneed generation that needs dope for a few hours in the air.

Boeing 377 Stratocruiser in United Airlines livery in 63-passenger configuration including sleeping berths, a state room and lounge bar.

Lord Moran was of course well-acquainted with dope, having for years suppled Churchill with “downers” (barbiturates) to help him sleep and “uppers” (amphetamines, then commonly called “pep pills”) to perk him up, Churchill ignoring the apothecary’s descriptions and dubbing the various tablets with terms from his own ad-hoc pharmacological vocabulary including “Lord Morans”, “majors”, “minors”, “reds”, “greens”, “babies” and “midgets, all based either on the pill’s appearance or its potency, the latter established empirically.   In fairness to the Lord Moran's doped airline passengers, with a cruising speed (depending on conditions) between 300–340 mph (480–550 km/h), trans-Atlantic flight time for the Boeing 377 Stratocruiser was typically 10 hours (eastbound) to 11-12 hours (westbound), a duration compelling until the new generation of jetliners cut the trip to 6–7 hours.  A civilian version of the C-97 Stratofreighter military heavy-transporter (developed from the B-29 Superfortress heavy bomber), the Stratocruiser was, when its first test-flight was undertaken in 1947, the world biggest airliner and could carry up to 100 passengers in a multi-deck configuration although most were configured for fewer and outfitted with the luxuries which appealed to the demographic then able to afford to travel by air.  Very modern when first it flew, there were no "doped fabric" surfaces on the Stratocruiser, the fuselage, wings and tail made almost wholly from an aluminum alloy (mostly duralumin); it was thus, in the parlance of the day, an "all metal" craft.  However, despite extensive development, the problems with the 28-cylinder Pratt & Whitney radial engines were never wholly resolved and while they came to be practical for military use, they remained maintenance-intensive so operating costs were high and between 1949-1963 only 55 Stratocruisers were ever in service.

Berry Brothers advertising (1929) of their Berryloid Pigmented Dope, illustrated by applying avian coloring to aircraft.  This was Number 10 of the series and depicts the Mono Aircraft Corporation's Monocoupe, doped in the color scheme of the sexually dimorphic red winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus).  Only the males feature the distinctive red shoulder and yellow wing bar over black, the female's feathers a nondescript dark brown.

“Pipe dope”, despite the name, is not used of the drug-smoking devices and refers to any of the many lubricants and sealants used to make a pipe thread joint leak-proof and pressure-tight.  In US military slang, a “scope dope” was the officer responsible for radar or a radar operator.  The technical terms “photodope”, “photodoping” & “photodoped” come from materials science and described the process of removing a dopant (a substance added in small amounts to a pure material, such as semiconductor, to alter its original electrical or optical properties).  In electronics, impurities are added to semiconductors as a way of (1) producing a desired result or (2) modifying its properties.  In the tuning of stringed musical instruments, “peg dope” is a substance used to lubricate the pegs of an instrument and to provide the desired friction between pegs and strings.  Use seems not to have extended to other fields but conceivably it could be a helpful (and even lucrative) product for those who enjoy the sexual practice of “pegging” (women using “strap-ons”) an activity Urban Dictionary’s contributors gleefully detail, there being many nuances in use.

Automotive Digest's Dope-Master (1948, left and 1951, right).

Annually updated, Automotive Digest for years published their "Dope Masters", containing the specifications and information (ie "all the dope") required to service or "tune up" most of the automobiles sold in the US.  They were valued by mechanics but also used by many owners, cars then being mostly mechanical devices with some wiring so servicing at home with basis tools was possible in a way unthinkable with modern machines with their high electronic and software content.  In boxing, the phrase “rope-a-dope” described a technique in which the boxer assumes a defensive stance against the ropes, absorbing an opponent's blows, hoping to exploit eventual tiredness or a mistake.  Figuratively, use can be extended to any strategy in which a seemingly losing position is maintained to “lull an opponent into a false sense of security” in the hope of securing eventual victory; in the vernacular, it’s to exhaust them by “stringing them along”.  “Dope slap” is a jocular term which describes “a light slap to the back of the head”, used as a disciplinary measure for some minor infraction (ie imposed for someone being "a bit dopey") while a more severe corporal punishment would be imposed for a more a serious offence.  “Dope glass” (a synonym of “carnival glass”) was a type of glassware dating from the early twentieth century, notable for possessing lustrous colors.  Known variously as “aurora glass”, “iridescent ware”, “Iridill” “poor man's Tiffany”, “rainbow glass” & “taffeta glass”, it was initially declared by the style police to be attractive but, cheap and mass-produced, it soon came to be used to make objects judged “not in the best taste” and, being much associated with the Great Depression years of the 1930s (it was dubbed also “depression glass”), it became unfashionable.

Thursday, October 9, 2025

Nurdle

Nurdle (pronounced nhur-dl)

(1) In cricket, to work the ball away gently, especially to the leg side, gently nudging the delivery into vacant spaces on the field; such a shot played.

(2) In conversation, gently to waffle or muse on a subject about which once obviously knows little.

(3) In manufacturing, a pre-production micro-plastic pellet about the size of a pea, the raw material used in the manufacture of plastic products.

(4) In marine ecology as plastic resin pellet pollution (PRPP); marine debris.

(5) The depiction of a wave-shaped blob of toothpaste sitting on a toothbrush.

(6) That which is squeezed from tube to toothbrush.

(7) In the game of tiddlywinks (as nurdling), sending an opponent's wink too close to the pot to score easily. 

Circa 1968: In the context of cricket, it’s of unknown origin but presumably some sort of blend, influenced possibly by “nerd” & “nudge”, the meaning conveyed being a style of play that is cautious, unambitious and unexciting; the slow accumulation of a score; there’s been the suggestion of a link with “noodle” but it’s hard to see the connection and there's no documentary evidence.  The earliest known citation is a 1985 match report in The Times (London).  The small, cylindrical pellets, the raw material of the manufacturing processes of many plastic products, have been called nurdles since at least the 1970s, a reference from that time noted in the manuals supplied with an injection-molding machine.  The word is likely to have been coined either because of the physical similarity of the pellets to some types of noodle or as a variation of nodule (a small node or knot) and plastic nurdles have for decades been recorded as a significant proportion of marine pollution.  As used to describe the toothbrush-length squirt of toothpaste as it sits atop the bristles, the origin is murky but may be linked to nodule.  There have been suggestions the use by the ADA (American Dental Association) in the 1990s in a public-service advertising campaign about the correct technique for brushing may have been the coining but the word was used in toothpaste advertising as early as 1968 although the original spelling seems for some time to have been “nerdle”.  Nurdle is a noun & verb and nurdled & nurdling are verbs; the noun plural is nurdles.  The adjective nurdlesque is non-standard but has been used by at least one cricket commentator not impressed by a batsman's slot selection.

The Triple Action: The Great Nurdle Affair

Previously little discussed before courts, the nurdle received some brief attention when a trademark-infringement lawsuit (Colgate-Palmolive Co v. GlaxoSmithKline LLC, US District Court, Southern District of New York, No. 10-05728) was filed in July 2010 by GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), makers of Aquafresh “Triple Protection” toothpaste, against Procter & Gamble (P&G), owners of the Colgate “Triple Action” brand.  Almost immediately, P&G counter-sued in the same court with the retaliatory GlaxoSmithKline LLC v. Colgate-Palmolive, No. 10-05739.  One was seeking, inter alia, the exclusive right to depict a nurdle, the other claiming the image was so generic the right could be exercised by anyone.

Battle of the nurdles: P&G's Colgate Triple Action (top) and GSK's Aquafresh Triple Protection (bottom).

The disputes hinged on “triple” as a descriptor and “nurdle”, not as a word but as the image of a wave-shaped blob of toothpaste sitting atop the bristles on the head of a toothbrush.  GSK's core argument was that it held trademark registrations on both “triple protection” and a red, white & blue-striped nurdle.  P&G argued “triple protection” was weak and that a nurdle is inherently merely descriptive because it is but a literal image of the product.  What the court had to decide was whether a reasonable consumer, on seeing the nurdle and “triple action” text description on packages of Colgate toothpaste, could be sufficiently misled to believe what they were looking at was sourced, sponsored or endorsed by GSK which used both on their Aguafresh brand.

GSK’s nurdle.

In a filing of some eighty pages, P&G noted its recent release in the US of a toothpaste with packaging which superimposes the words “Triple Action” (the implication being (1) cavity protection, (2) fresh breath & (3), whiter teeth) atop a blue, white and green nurdle.  In response, GSK, which used the “Triple Protection” phrase on its Aquafresh products, filed a trademark application for the "nurdle design" regardless of color; this induced P&G to sue to enforce its rights to use the nurdle.  P&G further noted GSK did not file their application until after they had already complained about P&G’s nurdle design and suggested GSK was using the process to stifle competition by asserting an excessively broad scope for trademark rights.

P&G’s nurdles, registered by Colgate as trademarks. 

GSK’s filing was only half the length and accused P&G of adopting various nurdle designs and the “Triple Action” mark in an effort to “trade off the commercial magnetism” of GSK own packaging which had since 1987 included a distinctive red, white and blue nurdle, an argument which implied elements of both usurpation and ambush marketing.  P&G asked the court to declare its “Triple Action” phrase and interpretation of the nurdle not confusingly similar to GSK’s own “Triple Protection” phrase and nurdle which used distinctively different colors.  It sought also have the court (1) cancel GSK’s “Triple Protection” and nurdle trademark registrations and (2), deny such injunctive relief that would have prevented P&G from using any nurdle design and a phrase containing “triple”.  Damages were sought on several grounds including punitive damages.  It was a case of some commercial significance given GSK had deployed the nurdle as a cartoon character in a marketing campaign aimed at children, the idea being that if children pestered their parents enough to buy Aquafresh for them, it was likely they’d gain the whole family as a conquest (a lesson well learned by countless manufacturers).  The nurdle campaign ran on Nurdle World in the US and The Nurdle Shmurdle in the UK.

Post settlement: Colgate Triple Action with a visually different nurdle.

Late in 2011, the parties announced a notice of settlement had been filed in the court; a confidential settlement had been negotiated.  The details have never been made public but a review of supermarket shelves suggests (1) the red, white & blue GSK nurdle is acknowledged to be propriety, (2) a nurdle nevertheless remains generic and can be depicted as long as it is sufficiently distinguished from GSK’s 1987 original and (3) things claiming to be of or pertaining to happening in threes may be described as “triple” whatever but, in the context of toothpaste, “triple protection” is a GSK trademark.  P&G could thus display a nurdle, just not GSK’s nurdle.  So, as a private settlement, there’s no change to established law but those inhabiting that gray area between ambush marketing and actual deceptive and misleading conduct no doubt took note.  A judge might anyway find the outcome in accordance with the operation of trademark law: a trademarked image as specific as the GSK nurdle is entitled to protection but, as a general principle, a word as notoriously common as “triple” is the property of the commons available to all.

Doramad Radioactive Toothpaste.

In Germany, between the 1920s and the end of World War II (1939-1945), nurdles could be radio-active, toothpaste there sold with trace amounts for thorium obtained from monazite sands, the promotional material of which read: “Increases the defenses of teeth and gums” & “Gently polishes the dental enamel, so it turns white and shiny”.  Although known since at least the mid-1920s, it was only in the aftermath of the A-bomb attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki (1945) that the adverse effects of ionizing radiation in high or sustained does became widely recognized, rendering radio-active toothpaste an undesirable product in the minds of mothers everywhere.  Although radio-active toothpaste sounds evil, the Nazis can't be blamed for it being on the shelves, its debut dating from the Weimar Republic (1918-1933).  

Save Paste structural concept for toothpaste packaging.

From the days when folk made their own toothpaste by mixing water, salt and the soot from chimneys, toothpaste has become one of the sometimes unacknowledged markers of civilized life.  The packaging though has been little changed since 1889 when J&J (Johnson & Johnson) introduced their range in collapsible metal tubes.  The switch from metal to plastic happened over decades, necessitated initially by wartime shortages but by the 1990s, tubes were almost universally plastic.  Despite that, the fundamental design remained unchanged and was often inherently inefficient, supplied in a cardboard box, much of the internal capacity of which was unused because of the shape of the tube.  The design added cost and induced adverse environmental outcomes because (1) the box was unnecessary and immediately discarded and (2), the surplus volume added to the costs of storage and transportation.  One interesting suggestion has been the trapezoidal package.

By using a single cardboard container as both collapsible container and display packaging, it eliminates the need for a separate box.  Also, if designed with the correct geometry, multiple trapezoidal containers can more efficiently be packed for transportation and storage, thereby reducing the energy expended.  This simple trick of packaging. if extended to all products sold in tubes should result in a significant reduction in energy consumption (road, rail and air transport) and therefore in greenhouse emissions.  Additionally, the carboard is more easily recycled than plastic. 

One thing toothpaste manufacturers seem never anxious to discuss is the opinion of many experts that GSK’s classic nurdle, extending the length of the brush-head, is way too much and adults should instead use a nurdle no bigger than a pea.  Restraint when squeezing out a nurdle for children should be even more severe because of the risk when young of swallowing too much toothpaste containing fluoride: it increases the risk dental fluorosis, a cosmetic condition that affects the appearance of the teeth, ranging from brown and light discoloration to darker strains and even pitting.  On a very young child’s brush, rather than a plump nurdle, the toothpaste should just be a smear although they can use an adult's pea-sized nurdle after the age of three.  The BDA (British Dental Association) summarize best practice by recommending: (1) the correct amount of toothpaste for most people to use is a pea size, (2) brush at least twice daily, with a fluoridated toothpaste, brush last thing at night and at least on one other occasion; if possible brush after every meal, (3) use a fluoridated toothpaste (1,350–1,500 ppm fluoride) and (4), spit out after brushing and do not rinse (this maintains the fluoride concentration level).

Have nurdle, will brush: Lindsay Lohan on the set of HBO's Eastbound & Down (2013), brushing teeth while smoking.

It's an unusual combination but might work OK if one smokes a menthol cigarette and uses a nurdle of mint toothpaste; other combinations might clash.  That said, those adventurous enough to experiment and with the patience to shop internationally for toothpaste can try alternative flavours of nurdle and work out which best combines with their tobacco of choice.  Telford Dentistry undertook a survey and discovered manufacturers have used various recipes to concoct an extraordinary range of choices beyond the familiar mint.  The offerings in the EU (European Union) appear to be regionally specific with sweetness increasing as one heads south but licorice, salt, eucalyptus and ratanhia root may all available on-line.  The UK seems to be less adventurous with plain or mint variants almost universal although there are brands offering eucalyptus and it’s tempting to believe dour highland Scots still prefer the traditional mix of soot & salt.  In the US, there’s definitely a national sweet tooth because cinnamon, vanilla, bubblegum and a range of “novelty flavours” (birthday cake, bacon cucumber-dil and Pickle!) are advertised, often targeted at children (or, more accurately, their parents), encouraging them to brush by making the nurdles taste like candy.  East of Suez there’s much variety.  In Japan, there’s matcha, yuzu, wasabi and charcoal while Indian retailers offer neem, clove, miswak, and tulsi and in South East Asia and beyond there’s probably the most delicious sounding variety including Mango, Coconut, Clove Oil, & Betel Leaf.

Sunday, April 20, 2025

Croissant

Croissant (pronounced krwah-sahn (French) or kruh-sahnt (barbarians))

A rich, buttery, often crescent-shaped, roll of leavened dough or puff paste.

1899:  From the French croissant (crescent), present participle of the verb croître (to increase, to grow), from the Middle French croistre, from the Old French creistre derived from the Classical Latin crēscēns & crēscentem, present active infinitive of crēscō (I augment), drawn from the Proto-Italic krēskō. The ultimate root was the primitive Indo-European reh (to grow, become bigger).  Correct pronunciation here.  

The Austrian Pastry

Like some other cultural artefacts thought quintessentially French (French fries invented in Belgium; Nicolas Sarkozy (b 1955; French president 2007-2012) from here and there; the Citroën DS (1955-1975) styled by an Italian) the croissant came from elsewhere, its origins Austrian, the Viennese kipferl a crescent-shaped sweet made plain, with nuts or other fillings.  It varies from the French classic in being denser and less flaky, made with softer dough.  First noted in the thirteenth century at which time, it was thought a “sweet” it was another three-hundred years before it came to be regarded as a morning pastry.  Tastes changed as new techniques of baking evolved and around the turn of the seventeenth century, recipes began to appear in Le Pâtissier François using Pâte feuilletée (puff pastry), these being the first recognisably modern croissants.

Culinary histories include a number of (likely apocryphal) tales of why the croissant adopted a crescent shape.  One suggests it was baked first in Buda to celebrate the defeat of the Ummayyad (the Umayyad Caliphate (661–750) was the second of the four major caliphates created after the death of the prophet Muhammad (circa 570-632)) forces by the Franks in the Battle of Tours (732), the shape representing the Islamic crescent moon although more famous is the notion it was designed after the battle of 1683 when the Ottomans were turned back from the gates of Vienna.  A baker, said to have heard the Turks tunneling under the walls of the city as he lit his ovens to bake the morning bread, sounded an alarm, and the defending forces collapsed the tunnel, saving the city.   To celebrate, bread was baked in the shape of the crescent moon of the Turkish flag.

Portrait of Marie Antoinette (1755–1793; Queen of France 1774-1792) (1769), oil on canvas by Joseph Ducreux (1735-1802).

The official title of the portrait was Archduchess Maria Antonia of Austria and it was created as the era’s equivalent of a Tinder profile picture, the artist summoned in 1769 to Vienna to paint a pleasing rendering of the young lady the Hapsburg royal court planned to marry off to Louis, Dauphin of France (1754-1973) who would reign as Louis XVI (King of France 1774-1792)).  Tinder profile pictures can be misleading (some pounds and even more years sometimes vanishing) so the work must be considered in that context although she was barely fourteen when she sat so it may be true to the subject.  Ducreux’s portrait was the first glimpse the prince had of his intended bride and it must have been pleasing enough for him metaphorically to "swipe right" and the marriage lasted until the pair were executed with the blade of the guillotine.  As a reward, Ducreux was raised to the nobility as a seigneur de la baronnie (lord of the barony, the grade of of baron granted to roturiers (commoners)) and appointed premier peintre de la reine (First Painter to the Queen), outliving the royal couple.

A more romantic tale attributes the pastry to Marie Antoinette, who, as an Austrian, preferred the food of her homeland to that of the French court and, at state dinners, would sneak off to enjoy pastries and coffee.  There is no documentary evidence for her having re-christened the kipferl as the croissant but the story is she so missed what she knew as kipfel (German for crescent) that she commanded the royal baker to clone the treat.  More prosaic, but actually verified by historical evidence, is that August Zang (1807-1888), a retired Austrian artillery officer founded a Viennese Bakery in Paris in 1839 and most food historians agree he is the one most likely to have introduced the kipfel to France, a pastry that later inspired French bakers to create crescents of their own.  The first mention of the croissant in French is in French chemist Anselme Payen’s (1795-1871) Des Substances alimentaires (1853), published long after Marie-Antoinette’s time in court, the first known printed recipe, using the name, appearing in Swiss chef Joseph Favre’s (1849-1903) Dictionnaire universel de cuisine (1905) although even that was a more dense creation than the puffy thing known today.

Once were croissants: 1967 Mercedes-Benz 600 (with "jam rolls", left), 1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 (with "croissants" (better known as "rabbits ears"), centre) and 1990 Mercedes-Benz 560 SEL (with boring "headrests", right).

Mercedes-Benz introduced their Kopfstütze (literally “head support” although in the factory’s technical documents the design project was the Kopfstützensystem (head restraint system)) when the 600 (W100, 1963-1981) was displayed at the 1963 Frankfurt Motor Show, the early cars having only a rear-pair as standard equipment (there was an expectation many 600s would be chauffeur-driven) with the front units optional but the hand-built 600 could be ordered with one, two, three or four Kopfstützen (or even none although none seem to have be so-configred ordered).  In 1969 the design was updated and over three weeks the new type was phased in for the models then in production.  While a totally new design (one cognizant of the US safety regulations which had mandated them for the front seats of passenger vehicles) with a different internal structure and mounting assembly, the most distinctive aspect was the raised sides which some compared to the “pagoda” roof then in use on the W113 (230, 250 & 280 SL, 1963-1971) roadster but this was coincidental.  In the early press reports the shapes were described with culinary references, the previous versions said to resemble a Biskuitrolle mit Marmelade (jam filled sponge roll) while the new generation was more like a croissant.  In the English-speaking world, neither term caught on, the older style was called something like “older style” while the new came to be known as “rabbits ears” which was much more charming.  Uncharmed, the humorless types at the factory continued to call them teilt (split) or offener Rahmen (open-frame).  The “rabbits ears” were phased out in 1979 although the low volume 600 retained them (along with the archaic rear swing-axles!) until the last was built in 1981.  The design introduced in 1979 seems never to have been compared to any kind of food and it reverted to lateral symmetry although the structure was noticeably more vertiginous.

Petit-déjeuner à Paris: café; croissant; Gauloises.

In 2025, to enjoy this pleasure began to demand a little more planning after the French government banned the smoking of cigarettes in all outdoor areas where children can be present (US$130 on-the-spot fine).  Vaping was still allowed (!) so there was that and terrasses (the outdoor areas of coffee shops bars) were exempt.  It's good Jean-Paul Sartre (1905–1980) & Simone de Beauvoir (1908–1986) didn't live to see this day. 

Although the famous shape is much admired, for purists, the choice is always the un-curved croissant au beurre, (butter croissant), the more eye-catching crescents being usually the ordinaires, made with margarine.  The taste in the English-speaking world for things like ham-and-cheese croissants is regarded by the French as proof of Anglo-Saxon barbarism although they will tolerate a sparse drizzle of chocolate if it’s for children and food critics reluctantly concede the almond croissant (with a frangipane filling, topped with slivered almonds and a dusting of powdered sugar) is “enjoyed by younger women”.  Generally though, the French stick to the classics, eschewing even butter, a croissant being best enjoyed unadorned and taken with a strong black coffee and while some will insist this should be accompanied with a Gitanes, that is optional.

The cube croissant, an Instagram favorite.

Although much focused upon, the shape of a croissant of course becomes less relevant when eaten when the experience becomes one of taste and texture.  For that reason the pastry used has long attracted those chefs for whom food offers architectural possibilities and while for more than a century one-offs have been created for competition and special event, in recent years the phenomenon of social media has been a design stimulant, Instagram, TikTok etc fuelling a culinary arms race and patisseries have built (sometimes short-lived) product lines in response to viral videos.  Fillings have of course been a feature but it’s the shapes which have been most eye-catching (and by extension click-catching which is the point for the content providers). There have been “croissants” in the shape of spheres, discs, pyramids, spirals, wedges and cubes, the last among the more amusing with chefs referencing objects and concepts such as dice, cubist art and, of course, the Rubik’s Cube.  Many have been just a moment while some have for a while trended.

Dominique Ansel's Cronut, stacked and sliced.

Some have endured for longer such as the Cronut (the portmanteau’s construct being cro(issant) + (dough)nut) and so serious was New York based French pastry chef Dominique Ansel (b 1978) that in 2013 he trademarked his creation.  In the familiar shape of a doughnut, the composition was described as “a croissant-like pastry with a filling of flavored cream and fried in grapeseed oil.”  Interviewed by Murdoch tabloid the New York Post, the chef revealed it took “two months of R&D (research & development)” before the Cronut was perfected and the effort was clearly worthwhile because after being released in his eponymous bakery in Manhattan’s SoHo neighbourhood, the city’s food bloggers (a numerous and competitive population) responded and within days photographs circulated of dozens waiting for opening time, a reaction which prompted the application to the US Patent and Trademark Office.  In the way of such things, around the planet “clones”, “tributes”, “knock-offs”, “imitations”, “rip-offs” (the descriptions as varied as the slight changes in the recipes introduced presumably to fend off a C&D (cease and desist letter)) soon appeared.  Predictably, some were called “Doughssants” (the Germanic eszett a nice touch) although others were less derivative.

New York Post, August 16 2022.

Monsieur Ansel in 2015 released Dominique Ansel: The Secret Recipes, a cookbook which included the Cronut recipe and the thing in its authentic form was clearly for the obsessives, the instructions noting making one or a batch was a three-day process.  In its review of the year, Time magazine nominated the Cronut as one of the “best inventions of 2013”, prompting one cultural commentator (another species which proliferates in New York City) to observe the decadence of the West had reached the point the breakdown of society was close.  There may have been something in the idea the new “Visigoths at the Gates of Rome” were actually pastry chefs because in the wake of the Cronut the city was soon flooded with all sorts of novel sugary treats, mostly elaborations of croissants, doughnuts and, it being NYC, bagels.  By 2022 the New York Post was prepared to proclaim: “Move over cronuts! NYC's hot new baked good is the Suprême”, the defenestrator from Noho’s Lafayette Grand Café and revealed to be a “unique circular croissant filled with pastry crème and topped with ganache and crushed up cookies.”  Again of the Instagram & TikTok age, queues were reported even though at a unit cost of US$8.50 it was two dollars more expensive than a Cronut, the price of which had increased fairly modestly since 2013 when it debuted at US$5.00.

All the recent variations on the croissant are built on the theme chefs have for centuries understood is the easy path to popularity: FSS; add fat, salt & sugar, the substances mankind has for millennia sought.  Once it took much effort (and often some risk) to find these things but now they’re conveniently packaged and widely available at prices which, although subject to political and economic forces, remain by historic standards very cheap.  Often, we don’t even need to seek out the packages because so much of the preparation and distribution of food has been outsourced to specialists, mostly industrial concerns but the artisans persist in niches.  That’s certainly true of the croissant, few making their own whether basic or embellished and one of the latest of the croissant crazes is FSS writ large: the crookie.

Miss Sina's crookie (without added topping or powered sugar).

A crookie is a croissant stuffed with chocolate chip cookie dough and its very existence will be thought particularly shameful by some Parisian purists because it was first sold in December 2023 by the Boulangerie Louvard, located on Rue de Châteaudun in Paris’s 9th arrondissement which, in an Instragram post announced the arrival: “Our pure butter croissant, awarded the seventh best croissant in the Île-de-France region in 2022, is made every morning with a 24-hour fermented milk sourdough and layered with Charente butter.  For our cookie dough, we use one of the best and purest chocolates in the world, from @xoco.gourmet.”  Offered originally in a test batch to test the market, the boulangerie soon announced “The concept was well received, so we're keeping it.  Available every day in-store!

Unlike a Cronut which (at least in its pure form) demands three days to make, the charm of the crookie is its elegant simplicity and Instagrammers quickly deconstructed and posted the instructions:

(1) With a serrated knife, cut open a croissant lengthwise, leaving a “hinge” at the back.

(2) Add 2-3 tablespoons of your chocolate chip cookie dough (from a packet or home-made).

(3) Close the two sections of croissant wholly encasing the dough.

(4) When the dough is almost cooked (time will vary according to oven and the volume of dough but it takes only a few minutes), remove from oven.

(5) Add more cookie dough to the top of croissant and return to the oven for final bake.

(6) When the outside is crispy and the centre gooey, remove from oven and top with a dusting of powdered sugar.

Some crookie critics don't recommend either adding the second lashing of dough or the powered sugar because they tend to "overwhelm" the croissant and limit the surface area, thereby denying the dish some of the essential crispiness.  

The croissant in fashion

Louis Vuitton Loop (part number M81098).  Created by Nicolas Ghesquière (b 1971) for the Cruise 2022 Collection, the Loop is described as a "half-moon baguette" and was inspired by the earlier Croissant bag, the original a less fussy design but the details in the new reflect modern consumer preference.

Rendered by Vovsoft as cartoon character: a brunette Lindsay Lohan in croissant T-shirt.

While a handbag lends itself well to the shape of a crescent, it does inherently limit the efficiency of space utilization but this aspect is often not a primary goal in the upper reaches of the market.  With garments however, although actually a common component because the shape makes all sorts of engineering possible such as the underwire of the bra or other constructions where any sort of cantilever effect is demanded, it’s usually just an element rather than a design motif.  As a playful touch, a distinctive crescent moon or croissant might appear on a T-shirt or scarf but it’s rare to see a whole garment pursue the theme although they have appeared on the catwalks where they attract the usual mix of admiration and derision.   

Sarah Jessica Parker (b 1965) in "croissant dress".

Sometimes though, such things escape the catwalk.  In 2022 the actor Sarah Jessica Parker appeared in Home Box Office's (HBO) And Just Like That, a spin-off (2021-2022) of the Sex and the City TV series (1998-2024), wearing an orange Valentino couture gown from the house’s spring/summer 2019 collection.  It recalled a large croissant, the piece chosen presumably because the scene was set in Paris although it must have been thought the viewers needed the verisimilitude laid on with a trowel because also prominent was a handbag in the shape of the Eifel Tower.  A gift to the meme-makers, admiration for the dress was restrained.