Scallop

Scallop (pronounced skol-uhp or skal-uhp)

(1) Any of the various marine bivalve mollusks of the superfamily Pectinoidea (genus Argopecten (Pecten)) and related genera (attached to a substratum (genus Chlamys)), distinguished by moving in water by rapidly clapping together their pair of fluted shell valves.  “Scallop” is used of other molluscs (including certain clams and oysters) and for commercial purposes, all (in the broad) are classed with the “saltwater shellfish”.

(2) The edible adductor muscle of certain species of such mollusks, widely used in cooking (in some places sold as “sea scallops” to distinguish use of “scallop” from other dishes (made usually with thinly sliced meat)).

(3) Either of the shell valves of such a mollusk, usually having radial ribs and a wavy outer edge (often used decoratively).

(4) A scallop shell re-purposed as a receptacle in which food (usually seafood) is served (and often baked).

(5) In cooking, a thin slice of meat, either so cut or something thicker “flattened” by pounding with a “meat tenderizer”, mallet or similar implement.

(6) Any of a series of curved projections (classically as multiple, symmetrical crescents) cut along the edge, used in sewing, knitting & crochet of necklines and other hems and in gardening, carpentry, art, engineering and architecture, of such shapes, used variously.

(7) In historic use (most associated with the middle & late medieval period), the badge of pilgrim (in the shape of a scallop shell).

(8) In certain places, potato (variously prepared) fried in batter.

(9) In design or construction, to finish (an edge) with scallops.

(10) In cooking, to escallop.

(11) To dredge for scallops to harvest (practiced by a scalloper).

1350-1400: From the Middle English scallop & scallop (edible bivalve mollusk), an aphetic variant of the Old French escalope (shell (of a nut); carapace), a variant of eschalope (probably from the Proto-Germanic skaljô (shell, husk, or scale), perhaps connected with the Old Norse skalpr (sheath) and the Middle Dutch schelpe (shell), from the primitive Indo-European root skel- (to cut; to split)).  English picked up the sense “thin slice of meat” from an association with French use in this context.  The process of aphesis (in linguistics & phonetics the loss of the initial unstressed vowel of a word) would have been gradual (and regionally differentiated) but, over time, the initial “e-“ vanished, “escalope” becoming “scallop”.  The use generally of shapes (clothing, architecture, garden beds) began to appear in documents in the seventeenth century although the shell (especially the larger and more colourful) clearly had for centuries been used domestically (they were nature’s pre-made serving dish) and contents (not always seafood) often were baked “in the shell”, cookbooks dated as early as 1737 detailing the methods, extending the term to describing the “decorative scalloping” used at the edges of the pastry atop pies and slices.  Before that use, “escallop” (in the sense both of “scallop shell” and “edge or border (of fabric) cut in the shape of scallops” had appeared in the late fifteenth century with the verb escalloped (having the border or edge cut out in scallops) appearing at much the same time.  The now less common alternative spelling was scallop (still seen in the UK) and the adjectival forms scallopesque, scallopish & scalloplike are non-standard.  Scallop is a noun & verb, scalloper is a noun, scalloping is a noun & verb, scalloped is a verb & adjective and scallopwise is an adverb; the noun plural is scallops.

Australian culture: The potato scallop (or “cake” or “fritter”).

In the barbarian nation of Australia, the potato scallop is a prized delicacy but while the methods of preparation and final appearance vary little from coast-to-coast, the warring tribes cannot agree on the name.  Unfortunately, use doesn’t precisely align with the state & territory boundaries but, as a general principle, it’s (1) Potato Scallop (New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory), Queensland and Western Australia, (2) Potato Cake (Victoria, Tasmania and most of the Northern Territory or (3) Potato Fritter (South Australia).  The use of “cake” and “fritter” is based on the use of those words for other dishes of a similar shape while the consensus among the “scallop faction” seems to be the name as an allusion to the “thin slice” rather than the shellfish definition and that does make sense because a potato scallop is several times the size of a typical scallop and thus dimensionally closer to the meat concoction.  Historians of food attribute the regional difference in terminology to the various terms been imported from England (where the spelling scallop was also used, the spelling influenced by certain regional pronunciations), sometime during colonial or post-colonial settlement of the continent, all the forms appearing in the British Isles at some time (although “smack” & “fairy chip” either never made the trip or didn’t survive).  In the UK, also documented is the use to describe a sautéed potato (a shallow-fried round potato slice).

Scalloped potatoes: These are different from a “potato scallop” in being thinly sliced potatoes, baked in a dish with a cheesy sauce; it's a winter favorite.

Whatever the nomenclature, the potato scallop is a classic example of “fast food” because it contains the elements (fat, salt, sugar) humans, their relatives and ancestors for millions of years stalked savannahs or jungles to hunt and harvest.  In developed nations, such substances are of course now available 24/7 “off the shelf” and a slice of potato dipped in batter and deep-fried until a golden-brown is not recommended by dieticians for frequent consumption but, for purposes of record, a “perfect scallop” is crisp on the outside with a fluffy interior the consistency of mashed potato.  The reliable Australian Food Timeline notes the long presence of this delicacy, including one recipe published in a Queensland newspaper in 1905: “Boil two pounds of potatoes, dry well, and pound in a mortar, adding three ounces of butter, half-a-gill of cream or melted butter sauce, and seasoning of pepper, salt and nutmeg. When quite smooth, butter some scallop shells, put in a teaspoonful of mixture, brush over with egg, and bake till brown; serve with watercress.”  Whether the side-dish of watercress would much mollify the dieticians is dubious but customers seem unconcerned, the item to this day a fixture on the menu-boards of fast food outlets and one that has withstood the onslaught of Burger King (Hungry Jacks in Australia), McDonalds, sushi, falafels and other international invaders.  While there may sometimes be differences in the products, these are as likely to happen within as between the regional factions.  For those who which to get a flavor of Australian culture, there’s a Potato Cake Appreciation Society run out of “cake stronghold” Victoria.

Saint James scallop shell necklaces.

The scallop shell was a symbol of Saint James the Great, worn or carried by pilgrims who had travelled to his shrine in Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, Spain, where his remains are believed to lie.  James the Great was one of the Twelve Apostles of Jesus and, in the New Testament, it’s asserted that when beheaded, (circa 44 AD), he was the second apostle to die (after the notorious Judas Iscariot) and the first to be martyred, pilgrims adopting the scallop shell because of its connection to maritime legends surrounding the saint's remains and its abundance along the Galician coast.  The concave shape also made them a practical thing to have during pilgrimages (handy utensils and cups) and scallops came often to be carved into baptistries or on baptismal fonts with shells (now not always genuine) used by priests to pour holy water on a child, initiating a new soul on a pilgrimage toward heaven.  According to legend, after James was martyred, his decapitated body was cast adrift in an unattended, rudderless boat, guided by angels to Iria Flavia in Hispania, where, on a shoreline covered with scallop shells, a large rock closed around his body.  There are variants of the tale but that’s the most popular.  Symbolically, the shell’s distinct lines (radiating outward) were said to represent the many different roads and paths across Europe converging on the single sacred destination at Santiago de Compostela.  The other practical value in the object was as a “proof of pilgrimage”, pilgrims gathering the shells from the sands at Cape Finisterre as tangible evidence they had completed the journey to the saint's shrine.

The logo of the Roman Catholic parish of Mary, Queen of Martyrs in Carver, Massachusetts was built with a central scallop, the crosses representing the three churches (Our Lady of Lourdes, Saint Kateri Tekakwitha & Saint Peter).  The parish provides an explanation of the scallop’s place in Christian iconography, noting the role as a “guide for pilgrims” (it takes an imaginative leap) on the path to their destination and the symbolic value of “authentication of completion of task”.  Historically, for pilgrims in the medieval era, the journey often was undertaken to fulfil a penance given by a priest and to verify compliance there was no other way but to make the trek and then collect a souvenir to show at mass so the priest world “tick the dutiful penitent off the list”.  However, commerce rose to the occasion and by the twelfth century traders had identified a lucrative market, selling shells from what would now be called “pop-up” stalls near cathedrals and churches.  It was from the tradition of Saint James the Great that the scallop came to be associated generally with the notion of pilgrimage, extended ultimately to the Christian’s earthly journey to heaven evoking the Letter to the Hebrews in which it was written: “These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” (Hebrews 11:13; King James Version of the Bible (KJV, 1611)).

Shell Oil’s logos: Greta Thunberg (b 2003) disapproves of all.

Shell’s current logo dates from 1971 and was a revision by French born US designer Raymond Loewy (1893–1986) whose work spanned a remarkable number of sectors in the era of mid-century modernism, extending from corporate logos, Studebaker’s post-war automobiles, the Coca-Cola bottle & vending machines, locomotives and farm equipment; he had quite a portfolio.  For the company, a shell was always in the branding but the first image was pure “generic shellfish” and not until 1904 did something recognizably “a scallop” appear.  Unlike the use in Christianity, the logo of Shell Oil is wholly secular.  In 1833, an enterprising trader set up in London an import company to sell seashells to collectors and it stayed a family business, the product-mix shifting when a scion (Marcus Samuel, later Lord Bearsted; 1853–1927), sent in 1892 to the Caspian Sea to collect saleable specimens, realized there was potential in exporting the “lamp oil” that bubbled from the ground.  Accordingly, the company commissioned the world’s first purpose-built oil tanker (naming it the SS Murex, from the Latin where it described a type of shellfish with a highly sculptured, elongated shell with distinctive spines or fronds) to enter the market; by 1907, the company had a fleet and “the age of oil” had begun.  The origin of the Latin murex is murky.  Etymologists suspect it may be from mūs (mouse), source of mūsculus (saltwater mussel) but, along with the Ancient Greek μύαξ (múax) (sea mussel) it may be from a Mediterranean substrate language.  So, what was once the Shell Transport and Trading Company became famous as “Shell Oil” although the corporate identity has over the years changed; long known as “Royal Dutch Shell”, it’s currently listed as Shell plc (publicly limited company), the word “oil” now avoided in corporate branding by fossil fuel traders.

Scallop theorem is from the discipline of fluid dynamics; it states that to achieve propulsion at low Reynolds number (in physics, a dimensionless parameter that determines the behavior of viscous flow patterns) in simple (ie Newtonian) fluids, a swimmer must deform in a way that is not invariant under time-reversal.  Introduced in the paper Life at Low Reynolds Number (1977) by physicist Dr Edward Mills “Ed” Purcell (1912–1997) who shared 1952 Nobel Prize in Physics, scallop theorem used math to prove that at microscopic scales (where the Reynolds number is extremely low), a swimmer executing a reciprocal motion (a sequence of movements identical when played in reverse (a la a scallop opening and closing its shell)) cannot achieve any net movement.  It means in cases where the subject’s mass is negligible compared to water's viscosity, this method of propulsion fails.  Tiny organisms (cells, bacteria and such) cannot push water out of the way and thus use flagella (whip-like cellular appendage) to move through water; the motion is thus less of a “swim” (in the conventional human sense of the word” and more of a “screw” as ship designers would understand.  At these scales, viscous forces overwhelm inertial forces, a “return stroke” perfectly cancelling the progress of a “forward stroke”; whatever the energy expended, a “microswimmer” would be left “wiggling in place”.  The theorem ceases to operate at the mesoscale (the range between between microscale and macroscale) because inertia is no longer zero so the mechanical action can provide propulsion.

Dr Purcell's Scallop Theorem explained by 632NM.

Although examples have been cited where scallop theorem doesn’t operate in situations where the definition suggests it should, it is accepted in orthodox science as a foundational principle in fluid mechanics, biophysics, and micro-hydrodynamics.  The critiques discussing the “breakdown” or “violation” of scallop theorem are not wrong but nor do they debunk, rather they provide examples of scenarios in which the theorem’s strictly defined mathematical constraints are bypassed, the most common example being “collective locomotion” in which multiple reciprocal micros-swimmers interact with one another, using their combined fields to generate movement.  Of course, in non-Newtonian Fluids (mucus, polymer solutions etc), the properties of the fluid breaks time-reversal symmetry and the necessary frictional resistance exists for the action (to varying degrees) to work.  All these so-call “edge cases” do is further validate the theorem by defining the exact boundaries where the original rules operate.

Application of a different scallop theorem: Lindsay Lohan cooking scallops & crab claws on a yacht anchored off Cannes while attending the Cannes Film Festival, May, 2017.

Stone Oven Grill's Pan Seared Scallops for two

Ingredients

10 scallops (5 per person)

Salt to taste

Pepper to taste

Truffle powder (Optional)

1 tablespoon avocado oil

¼ stick butter (some prefer to use more)

Splash of white wine (some prefer to use more)

Instructions

(1) Lay scallops out on a cutting board and pat dry on both sides with paper towels.  Season all over with salt & pepper and (optional) truffle powder.

(2) Heat avocado oil in a large pan over medium high heat and once heated, add scallops to pan.  Work scallops in batches, ensuring pan is never overcrowded the pan.  Cook for 3 minutes per side; 30 seconds before the first flip, add butter to the pan to begin the melt.

(3) After flipping scallops, begin basting them with melted butter; continue basting process for the first two minutes.  While basting need not be continuous, it must periodically be done during this time.  Add white wine with 1 minute remaining and continue to baste, removing scallops once final minute is up.  Serve immediately.

Notes

Pan seared scallops, mid sear.

With a texture unique in the world, scallops offers many possibilities and the pan seared variety is a favorite, one of its many attractions being needing few ingredients, simple equipment (there are “basting spoons” available but a standard dessert spoon is serviceable) and but a few minutes preparation time.  It’s also one of those dishes amateur chefs can create at home and emulate exactly what real chefs so in real restaurants; it’s that simple.  Chefs do however have a few tips to prefect the process: (1) Pat scallops dry prior to cooking.  This is vital because it will remove any excess moisture liquid that can hinder the formation of the crust, a perfect crust being the essence of the dish.  The patting process takes only a couple of minutes: Lay them out flat and pat both sides dry with and absorbent paper towel.  (2) Pan must be hot prior to beginning the searing.  (3) Do not overcrowd pan.  While it’s tempting to fill the whole surface area, results are much better if no scallops are touching with each given a little “room to move”.

Evening gowns with scalloped necklines in a vibrant red by Georges Hobeika (b 1962) from his Spring-Summer 2017 Collection.  The scalloped cut-outs framed a sheer illusion panel, with an understated waist bow and the look worked best with a sleeveless bodice (left), the full-length sleeves and additional intricacy (right) a distraction.

Although never has the scalloped neckline defined the look of a season, never has it vanished and even if from time-to-time seen only rarely on the catwalk, it has remained a staple of high street fashion.  In the narrow technical sense, something qualifies as a “scalloped hem” by virtue of the shape being repeated along whatever line is being finished but the effect is most obvious only beyond a certain dimension.  If the arc of the curves is too small, the look can “become lost” although, paradoxically, the small scale most closely emulates the edge of a scallop’s shell.  While it shouldn’t be treated as a “rule”, as a general principle, smaller scalloping adds refinement while a larger cut is a “statement” or “playfulness” (depending on the garment) so it’s best to keep intent aligned execution.  What is possible successfully to achieve is dependant also on the fabric or material used, some scalloping demanding a degree of rigidity (such as with necklines although heavier fabrics can be difficult to persuade into the right contour) while other uses (like a skirt’s hem) can be more free-flowing.  On an outfit that really “busy”, scalloping can “get lost” in all the detail though that can work as a “highlight among highlights” if well done; it not, it’s just “making a mess”.  That’s why scalloping is recommended as a focal point, existing as the sole feature to draw the eye, explaining why designers like to add them to something sleeveless or strapless on a garment with little other detailing, even the most delicate lace inserts tending to draw the eye.

Lindsay Lohan in a black, off-the shoulder, floral cat-suit (with embedded crystals) from Balenciaga’s Summer 2024 collection, Kering Foundation’s annual Caring for Women dinner, The Pool, New York City, September 2024.

Although by any standards a “busy” fabric, this is an example of how scalloped neckline can work well if integrated with the whole.  Here, what the scallops did was “follow the pattern” and with the whole ensemble (including the very pointy knife pumps and “built-in” demi-gloves) in black, there was nothing extraneous to disturb the line.  What was clever about this piece was that although “floral” motifs intrinsically are made from curves, the overall effect was of straight lines (horizontal, vertical and diagonal) and that included the “squared-off” neckline, producing a nice effect highlighting the clavicles and bare shoulders.

1953 Aston Martin DB3S (Works).

When applied to cars, the term “scallop” is used with a different emphasis than with frocks and such in that what’s being referenced in the shell’s inside, the idea being of a shell used to “scoop out” some sand from where the sea has just receded, the lacuna creating a “scalloped” effect.  The Aston Martin DB3S was the factory’s standard competition model between 1953 and 1956 and despite being rather hastily improvised after the DB3 (1951-1953) was found to be uncompetitive (underpowered and too heavy), it enjoyed some success although it ran in an era when the Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR (W196S) and Jaguar D-Type had been perfected so championship trophies proved elusive.  The performance was however competitive and it was tough and reliable; as well as the eleven built for the factory’s team, a further 20 were sold to private teams and like the Maserati 250F, it enjoyed around the world a long career, running near the front even after obsolescent.

1953 Aston Martin DB3S front brake and scallop.  The holes were one of the many ways attempts were made to reduce temperatures (and thus “brake fade”) when using drum brakes; it was a lost cause, the answer being disc brakes.

The distinctive scallops in the “pontoon” front fenders were functional in being the most effective way to provide much-need cooling for the big Al-Fin aluminum, finned drum brakes.  Although the works cars quickly would adopt the vastly superior Girling disc brakes, right to the end of production these were an expensive option on the “customer” cars; tellingly, in the decades since, many such DB3s were upgraded to discs (some on all four wheels but most with a front disc-rear drum combination.  Although ducts to deliver cold air to brakes had long been common, the scallops were a most effective way to evacuate the hot air although, in one of those trade-offs familiar in engineering, the shape did at high-speed induce some unwanted handling characteristics, an experience many manufacturers would suffer in an age before prior testing in wind-tunnels became de rigueur and computers on which to run simulations were far in the future.  The DB3S was replaced by the DBR1 which used a form of brake cooling that didn’t so affect the aerodynamics and it proved effective, winning the 1958 World Sports Car Championship including a prized victory in the Le Mans 24 Hour endurance classic.

1958 Ferrari 250 TR.

With the standardization of disc brakes, Aston Martin didn’t carry over the DB3S’s deeply scalloped pontoon fenders but in 1958 they appeared on updated versions of the Ferrari 250 TR (Testa Rossa (literally “red head”, an allusion to the color of the cam covers), 1957-1961).  Although the looks and “end of an era” vibe have made the 250 GTO (1962-1964) the most prized (and expensive) vintage Ferrari, on the circuits, the 250 TR was much more successful, three times winning Le Mans (the final variant in 1962 the last front-engined car to win the event) and the World Sports Car Championship constructor's title.  The scallops were used on the 250 TR for the same reason Aston Martin fitted them: cooling the drum brakes.  Ferrari’s reluctance to adopt disc brakes will seem strange because by 1957 the technology was well proven; while the early disc system were sometimes noisy and pedal pressures could be high, they were effective, stopping distances shorter and fade less prevalent.  However, because Ferrari’s focus was on longer-distance events rather than sprint races, virtues like reliability and robustness were afforded a premium and it was true there were advantages, the linings in drums wearing consistently unlike the pads on discs that suddenly could lose efficiency; additionally, the hard linings of a drum brake’s shoes lasting longer than the pads of the era, meaning it often was possible to complete an event without a lining change.  None of that much convinced the drivers who wanted better brakes and the technology anyway continued to evolve, improvements by Girling meaning Aston Martin’s pit crews were by 1958 able to effect a brake-pad change in some 45 seconds, less time than it then took to re-fuel.  In 1959, Ferrari accepted reality had bitten and disc brakes became a standard fitting on all 250 TRs.  One quirk of the production history is that of the 33 250 TRs built, the 19 allocated had either the scalloped “pontoon fenders” or an enveloping front section while the 14 sold to private customers were all “scalloped”.

1958 Lincoln Continental Mark III Convertible.

Despite the coincidence in the timing, it can with certainty be said neither the Aston Martin nor the Ferrari in any way influenced Lincoln’s designers, despite distinctive “scalloped” front fenders appearing on the 1958 Lincoln Continental Mark III, a vehicle that was a remarkable change from the restrained elegance of the (highly unprofitable) Continental Mark II (1956-1957).  Although eye-catching, the Lincoln’s scallops probably don’t make as much of an impression as they might because they have to compete for attention with other “highlights” of the styling including dagmars, slanted headlights in hoods, fins, rear fender skirts, skegs and a reverse-angle rear window; it was quite a gallimaufry, assembled in a package measuring 229 inches (5,817 mm) bumper-to-bumper.

Model Adriana Fenice (b 1994) in pink stretch top with scoop neckline.

In fashion, the “scoop” neckline uses a “scalloping” effect analogous with the use by Aston Martin, Ferrari and Lincoln, the industry jargon having separate terms to avoid confusion between a “scooped” and “scalloped” neckline.  Technically, the Mark III was conventional (just scaled-up) but it’s of note because at the time it was the largest passenger vehicle ever built using unitary construction (ie no separate chassis); it still is.  While a notable achievement in pre-modern body engineering, so much internal strengthening was required (especially for the convertible) that weight could be between 5,000–5,700 lb (2,300–2,600 kg), out-weighing even a modern EV (electric vehicle) like the Tesla Model S (2012-2026) that weighed in between 4,300–5,000 lb (1,950-2,270 kg) and the Lincoln didn’t have the excuse of carrying a big battery weighing 1,000-1377 lb (454-625 kg)).  The Lincoln also had drum brakes that, like the Ferraris, sometime fought an unequal battle with the physics of inertia.  The look really was “too much” (the “moment” for such things quickly passed) and was toned-down for 1959 & 1960 although what’s often forgotten is the 1958 range out-sold the 1961 version, the latter now regarded as a classic.  However, while the 1958-1960 body was a cul-de-sac, the 1961 Lincoln Continental endured for the rest of the decade and influenced the industry in a way (and to an extent) the earlier cars never did.  What happened in 1958 proved an outlier with scallops since only hinted at.

Closet

Closet (pronounced kloz-it)

(1) A small room, enclosed recess, cupboard or cabinet for storing clothing, food, utensils etc.

(2) A small private room, especially one used for prayer, meditation etc.

(3) A state or condition of secrecy or carefully guarded privacy.

(4) A clipping of “closet of ease” or “closet of decency” and later “water closet” (WC), early names for the flushing loo (toilet; lavatory; privy with a waste-pipe and means to carry off the discharge by a flush of water).

(5) Of or pertaining to that which is private; secluded or concealed; undertaken unobserved and in isolation.

(6) To shut up in a private room for some purpose.

(7) A private room used by women to groom and dress themselves (obsolete).

(8) A private room used for prayer or other devotions (archaic).

(9) A place of (usually either fanciful or figurative in that typically it referred to the state of thought rather than where it took place) contemplation and theorizing (archaic).

(10) The private residence or private council chamber of a monarch accompanied by a staff establishment (page of the chamber; clerk of the closet etc) and related to the bedchamber (archaic).

(11) In a church, a pew or side-chapel reserved for a monarch or feudal lord (regarded as obsolete but the concept endures in that the order of precedence is often used when seating is allocated for ceremonial events conducted in churches).

(12) In heraldry, an ordinary similar to a bar but half the width.

(13) A sewer (Scots dialectical, now obsolete).

(14) The state of maintaining one's sexual orientation as a secret (“closeted” “in the closet”, “closet case” etc).

1300-1350: From the Middle English closet (a small private room for study or prayer), from the Old French closet (small enclosure, private room), the construct being clos (private space; enclosure) +‎ -et (the suffix used to form diminutives), from the Latin clausum (closed space, enclosure, confinement), the neuter past participle of claudere (to shut).  In French, it tended to be applied to small, open-air enclosures.  The suffix –et was from the Middle English -et, from the Old French –et & its feminine variant -ette, from the Late Latin -ittus (and the other gender forms -itta & -ittum).  It was used to form diminutives, loosely construed.  Some European languages picked up the Old French spelling while others used variations including Czech (klozet) & Spanish (clóset).  Closets can be tiny or fair-sized rooms so the appropriate synonym depends on context and architecture and might include: cabinet, container, locker, room, vault, wardrobe, bin, buffet, depository, receptacle, recess, repository, safe, sideboard, walk-in, ambry, chest of drawers & cold storage.  Closet is a noun, verb & adjective, closeting, closetful & closetry are nouns & verbs, closetlike & closety are adjectives, closeted is a verb & adjective; the noun plural is closets.

The adjective dates from the 1680s in the sense of “private, done in seclusion”, extended by 1782 as "fitted only for scholarly seclusion, not adapted to the conditions of practical life" (ie in the sense of the “ivory tower”).  The meaning "secret, not public, unknown" was first applied to alcoholism in the early 1950s but by the 1970s had come to be used principally (probably exclusively) of homosexuality.  This, and the earlier forms (closet anarchist, closet alcoholic, closet Freemason, closet smoker etc) were all based on the idiomatic “skeleton in the closet” (which existed also as “skeleton in the cupboard”), describing some undisclosed fact which, if revealed would cause reputational damage (or worse) to a person.  Literally, the imagery summoned was of someone with a human corpse secreted in a closet in their house, one which had sat there so long the flesh had decomposed to the bone.  The earliest known appearance in print was in 1816 but it’s not known how long it’d been in oral use and it usually implied culpability for some serious offence though not necessarily anything involving a corpse.

A walk-in closet.  To optimize space utilization, the hangers are very thin and covered with black velvet to ensure no fabrics are marked.  In a well-organized closet, items can be arranged in a number of ways such as color, season or type and some do it by manufacturer, the name of the label printed on rail-tags.

The phrase “come out of the closet” (admit something openly) was first recorded 1963 and the use rapidly became exclusive to homosexuals, lending a new sense to the word “out”.  This meaning itself became nuanced: “To come out” (openly avowing one's homosexuality) emerged as a phrase in the 1960s and was an overtly political statement (obviously different from the earlier “a confessed homosexual”) whereas “outing” and “outed” came to be used in the 1970s to refer to people making the homosexuality of others public knowledge.  Outing became controversial because of the argument (made sometimes by those within the gay community) that it was justified if exposing hypocrisy (usually a conservative politician who publicly condemned homosexuality while in private indulging in the practice).  In Spanish use (most notably in Latin America) the noun clóset is used to refer to the state of being secretly gay (from salir del clóset), the plural being clósets.

Lindsay Lohan in part of her walk-in closet, here choosing what to pack for an appearance at the Cannes Film Festival, May 2014.

The verb closet (shut up as in a closet) was originally usually for purposes of concealment or private consultation and dates from the 1680s.  The water closet (WC and described also in the helpfully descriptive terms “closet of ease” or “closet of decency”) was the ancestor of the familiar modern loo (toilet; lavatory; privy with a waste-pipe and means to carry off the discharge by a flush of water), the term first used in 1755 and later perfected by the famous plumber, Mr Thomas Crapper.  The phrase “walk-in” was used first in the 1890s as a slang term by hotel check-in clerks to refer to those arriving without a reservation (it’s now a standard statistical category in hotels) and by 1928 was used in many forms of commerce to mean “customer who arrived without an appointment”.  The “walk-in closet” was first advertised in the US in 1946 where it described a built-in wardrobe large enough to walk into, (some equipped with mirrors, tables, chairs etc) although, among the rich, such structures had for centuries been in use.

The Gay Bob Doll

Gay Bob; note the man-bag.

There’s evidence that for much of human existence, homosexuality has been at least widely tolerated and often accepted but in the West, under the influence of the Christian churches, it came to attract much disapprobation though even in the nineteenth century there were those who (without much success) campaigned for legislative and social change, the odd self-declared homosexual sometimes urging others to out themselves.  However, it wasn’t until the 1960s that the still embryonic “gay liberation” movement understood that “coming out en masse” was of importance because with critical mass came political influence.  Social attitudes did change and it was perhaps an indication of acceptance that in 2005 the cartoon show South Park could run an episode called Trapped in the Closet in which the Scientologist film star Tom Cruise (b 1962) refuses to come out of a closet (the episode entered industry jargon as “closetgate”).  Not discouraged by the threat of writs, South Park later featured an episode in which the actor worked in a confectionery factory packing fudge and was labelled a “fudge packer”.  Attitudes and legislative changes didn't always move in unison and things unfolded gradually but that process was still incomplete when, in 1977, the Gay Bob doll was released.  There is probably no phrase that better encapsulates gender-role stereotyping than “girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks” though, in the narrow technical sense, boys have long “sort of” had their own dolls because toy soldiers are (in a sense) a “doll” but everybody understands the difference and nobody confuses the two.

Gay Bob in his closet (with accessories and instructions).

That was what made the Gay Bob doll so subversive: it used a form structurally similar to the dolls parents had for generations bought for their daughters but was obviously something different and vested with a political message.  Even today, such a doll might be controversial (certainly in some countries or US states) but in 1977 when Gay Bob was released, the world was a different place.  Interestingly, some critics now argue that while in the West the legislative environment has become more liberal (same-sex marriage now lawful in many jurisdictions) the liberalization in social attitudes achieved in the decades since the mid-1970s have in some regions or sectors of the population reverted.

Clothes and accessories were available, including those for dressing the “gay farmer”.

By 1977, the winds of change clearly were blowing because in that year Harvey Milk (1930–1978; member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, 1978) became the first openly gay man elected to public office in California (it’ll never be known how many of his predecessors were closeted).  However, if Milk was out of the closet, Gay Bob was delivered neatly packaged in his own (cardboard) closet, buyers able to “out him” or put him back as circumstances dictated.  Designed as something of a caricature of popular film & television stars of the era, Gay Bob’s creator described the doll as perfect for “…an executive’s desk, dash board ornament, the attaché case, the bathtub rim or a health club gym bag”.  Of course, among the homophobic, Gay Bob could always be repurposed as a voodoo doll upon which unspeakable acts of violence could be visited so that was another niche market.  A notable feature was the doll’s “anatomical correctness”, presumably a sales feature but one that necessitated production being out-sourced to Hong-Kong because US manufacturers declined the contract. 

Gay Bob stepping out of the closet.

Just so there were no misunderstandings, Gay Bob was supplied with a fashion catalogue including an explanation:  Hi boys, girls and grownups, I’m Gay Bob, the world’s first gay doll.  I bet you are wondering why I come packed in a closet. “Coming out of the closet” is an expression which means that you admit the truth about yourself and are no longer ashamed of what you are.  Gay people are no different than straight people.  If everyone came out of their closets, there wouldn’t be so many angry, frustrated, frightened people.  It’s not easy to be honest about what you are, in fact it takes a great deal of courage.  But remember, if Gay Bob has the courage to come out of his closet, so can you! With an attitude like that, one can see why Gay Bob was such a threat. 

Popular since the nineteenth century, mail-order was the on-line shopping of the analogue era.  Lee Harvey Oswald (1939–1963) purchased the rifle (a military surplus 6.5 mm Carcano) he used to assassinate John Kennedy (JFK, 1917–1963; POTUS 1961-1963) via mail-order for US$19.95 plus US$1.50 P&H.

Conservative activists were of course appalled by Gay Bob, his anatomical correctness and threateningly optimistic message, describing it all as “a threat to family values” and more “…evidence of the desperation the homosexual campaign has reached in its effort to put homosexual lifestyle, which is a death style, across to the American people”.  The forces of capitalism either agreed or were unwilling to risk a backlash because attempts have the big department stores stock Gay Bob on their shelves were unsuccessful so the doll was sold via mail order, advertisements placed in gay magazines.  One doll cost US$19.50 (including P&H within the US) while a pair could be purchased at a discounted US$35.00 (and to take advantage of the anatomical correctness, buying a brace would presumably have been in vogue.)  Over 2,000 were sold within months and in liberal cities like New York and San Francisco and while some boutiques would later carry the product, it's unlikely any were seen on shelves south of the Mason-Dixon Line.  Something of a footnote to the LGBTQQIAAOP timeline, Gay Bob is a now a collector’s item, examples in good condition realizing over US$200 at on-line auction sites and those with a pristine, un-violated closet will command a premium.  That's the charming paradox: While Gay Bob existed as part of a movement to make easier “coming out of the closet”, among collectors, the doll is now most valued if Gay Bob remains sealed in.

The other Romish way

In the Closet of the Vatican by Frédéric Martel (b 1967).

The author of In the Closet of the Vatican was what used to be called “a confessed homosexual” and the book was a study of what the publisher described as “an account of corruption and hypocrisy at the heart of the Vatican”.  Blurbs of course rely on punchy phrases but it might have been better to suggest “some of corruption and hypocrisy” because the focus very much was on the matter of the “substantially gay priesthood” within the upper reaches of the Roman Catholic Church and some of the implications of that state, a central thesis being “the greater a prelate’s homophobia, the more likely it is he is gay”  “Behind rigidity there is always something hidden, in many cases a double life” was how Francis (1936-2025; pope 2013-2025) put it.  Remarkably, a large number of priests, bishops and cardinals agreed to be interviewed and while they did discuss topics such as the condemnation of the use of contraceptives, cases of sexual abuse by clergy and the collective misogyny of the priesthood, what emerged also was an amusing picture of an institution beset by internecine squabbles, careerism and Masonic-like plotting and scheming; in other words, within the Vatican’s corridors, things are pretty much the same as institutions everywhere.  It’s an entertaining read and one who emerges as a sympathetic figure is Benedict XVI (1927–2022; pope 2005-2013, pope emeritus 2013-2022), a theologian of pure thought overwhelmed by what he came to realize what his pontificate was confronting; he resigned because he realized not only could he not do what needed to be done but probably it couldn’t be done by anyone and, at least debatably, his successors have “solved” the problem by “doing other things”, taking the view it’s better to achieve small successes somewhere.

Titus Oates in the pillory as a punishment for perjury (1685), engraving by unknown artist.

The notion of the Vatican as “the world’s biggest closet” is of course amusing but the matter of a “network of gay clergy” probably has existed for a thousand years or more although in recent decades it has become better documented and, well before the scale of clerical sex abuse of minors became public knowledge, diaries and memoirs often contained sometimes oblique references to the phenomenon, even Hermann Göring (1893–1946; leading Nazi 1922-1945, Hitler's designated successor & Reichsmarschall 1940-1945) (an unlikely lay-theologian) remarking to one of the prison psychologists at the first Nuremberg Trial (1945-1946) of his impressions of young men and their mentors he’d observed during a visit to a seminary.  Centuries before, Titus Oates (1649-1705), at various times an Anglican and Roman Catholic priest (both offices held through some form of fraud, his life summed up by one historian as: “By birth an Anabaptist, by prudence a clergyman, by profession a perjurer”) had crafted a career as “a part-time religious conspirator and full-time homosexual” that saw him in 1685 sentenced to life imprisonment, the highlight of which was to be “…whipped through the streets of London five days a year for the remainder of his life”.  At least one public whipping was carried out, a diarist noting of one account: “I heard him say that he saw Oates, that discovered the Popish Plot, whipped according to his condemnation most miserably; and as he was hauled up the streets the multitude would much pity him, and would cry to the hangman or he whose office was to whip him, ‘Enough! Strike easy!’  To whom Mr Oates replied, turning his head cheerfully behind him, ‘Not enough! good people, for truth, not enough.’  That showed a certain commitment to the cause but it was the historian John Philipps “J.P.” Kenyon (1927–1996) in The Popish Plot (1973) who had an interesting slant of what was even then clearly the Catholic Church’s “structural closetism”: “The fact that Oates was an active and practising homosexual has always been known, but historians have evaded one obvious conclusion; that this explains the astonishing ease with which he was admitted to certain Catholic circles which one would have supposed barred a disreputable Anglican clergyman with heterodox leanings.”

The Church has a well-know position (some prefer “fudge”) on the subject, the official teaching being an inclination for same-sex attraction is “an objective moral disorder” yet it remains “not a sin to be gay” but it is sinful “if one succumbs and acts on the inclination” (ie you can have your cake but not eat it).  Neatly that encapsulates the advice a potential sinner’s confessor would be compelled to provide: “Stay in the closet my son”.  While not a book of verifiable statistics, Martel does quote the estimate of the pope’s former chief Latinist that “up to 80% of the Vatican staff could be gay” and while (one hopes) that’s impressionistic, such an official might be thought a NRS (normally reliable source) and while “80%” must be treated as “rubbery”, it does hint the real number would be “big”.  Martel’s point of course was the number was significant only in the content of the consequences and hypocrisy inherent in such a cabal administering a church with rigid doctrinal positions on just about anything to do with sex and gender and one gay priest did provide nuance to the “Vatican as a closet” model by suggesting it was more the place being “a honeycomb of closets” in which dozens of groups, factions and alliances all operated with their own secrets and while “everybody knew they had secrets”, they were known only to a few.  Counterintuitively, reaction to the book by the church establishment was one almost of relief because, while the interviews reputedly were extensive, what was published usually stopped short of “naming names” or detailing times and places unless such details were already in the public domain: there were no appendices of incriminating documents or other “smoking guns”.  So, from the Holy See came an almost dismissive “nothing to see here” which probably can be deconstructed as “our lawyers found nothing actionable” but reviewers generally were positive and, while acknowledging the limitations, did commend the word for its breadth of approach and sheer entertainment value although several did grumble about the lack of an index; the most diligent readers will seek the digital version.