Pineapple

Pineapple (pronounced pahy-nap-uhl)

(1) The edible, juicy, collective fruit of a tropical, bromeliaceous plant (Ananas comosus), native to South America, consisting of an inflorescence clustered around a fleshy axis and surmounted by a tuft of leaves; the flesh is juicy, sweet and usually yellow.

(2) The plant itself, having a short stem and rigid, spiny-margined, recurved leaves, the flesh housing ovoid in shape.

(3) In military slang, a fragmentation hand grenade (originally applied to those devices with a resemblance to the fruit, later applied more loosely).

(4) In slang, the Australian fifty dollar (Aus$50) note (dated and probably archaic).

(5) A web burrfish (Chilomycterus antillarum (or Chilomycterus geometricus)).

(6) In commercial paint production, a light yellow colour, reminiscent of the flesh of a pineapple (also called pineapple yellow on color charts).

(7) A hairstyle consisting of (1) a ponytail worn on top of the head, imitating the leaves of a pineapple or (2) the whole hair gathered and assembled at the top, there to sit like the leaves of a pineapple.

1350-1400: From the Middle English pinappel (pine cone (literally “pine apple” or “pine fruit”)), the conifer cone (strobilus (plural: strobili)), the seed-bearing organ of gymnosperm plants so named as a jocular comparison with fruit trees).  After being introduced to Europe, the fruit of the pineapple plant picked up the name because of the resemblance to pinecones, this use noted from the 1660s (pine cone adopted in the 1690s to replace pineapple in its original sense except in so regional dialects.  Elsewhere, the forms included the Middle Dutch and Dutch pijnappel, the Middle Low German pinappel, the Old High German pīnapful, the Middle High German pīnaphel, and the early Modern German pinapfel (all developed from the same notion of the “pine cone”.  Related too were the post-Classical Latin pomum pini, the Old French pume de pin, the Middle French and French pomme de pin and the Spanish piña.  To describe the pine-cone, Old English also used pinhnyte (pine nut) and pine-apple appears in some late fourteenth century biblical translations for “pomegranate”.  Pineapple is a noun; the noun plural is pineapples.

Ashley Ferh's Pineapple Crisp

Pineapple Crisp is made with chunks of fresh pineapple, topped with a brown sugar streusel baked until golden.  It is served usually with vanilla ice cream or thickened cream.  The classic recipe uses only pineapple but variations are possible, most adding either mango or orange although where a contrast in taste is desired, it nan be made as pineapple & rhubarb crisp.  Preparation time is 15 minutes; cooking time 45 minutes and as described in this recipe, it will serve six.

Ingredients

4 cups chopped fresh pineapple about one average pineapple

2 tablespoons plus ½ cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon corn starch

1/2 cup cold butter cubed

1 cup large oats

1/2 cup whole wheat flour for Gluten-Free: gluten-free all purpose flour or ground gluten-free oats

Instructions

(1) Preheat the oven to 350^o F (175^o C)

(2) Combine pineapple, 2 tablespoons brown sugar and corn starch. Place pineapple in an 8 x 8″ (200 x 200mm) baking pan, or in individual baking dishes if preferred.

(3) In a large bowl, combine butter, ½ cup brown sugar, oats and flour until combined.  The texture will be that of cookie dough (easily pressed and held together).  Crumble topping over the pineapple in baking dish and press down gently.

(4) Bake for 45 minutes or until bubbly around the edges and golden brown on top. Serve with vanilla ice cream or thickened cream as desired.

The pineapple hairstyle is distinctive and, once done, of low maintenance but the very wildness means it’s not suitable for all hair; those with perfectly straight hair will likely find it just too much trouble because while it can be done, it would demand a lot of product.  There are two variations, (1) a ponytail worn on top of the head, imitating the leaves of a pineapple (left) or (2) the whole hair gathered and assembled at the top, there to sit like the leaves of a pineapple (left).  The pineapple is ideal for those with curly hair and for others, is a less stylized, more naturalistic version of what hairdressers call “the spiky”.

The Mark II hand-grenade.

The military slang to describe hand grenades dates from World War I (1914-1918) and was coined because of the shape of the Mk II grenade (re-named Mk 2 in 1945 as the US military dropped all designations involving Roman numerals as part of the computerization project), a fragmentation-type anti-personnel hand grenade first issued to US armed forces in 1918.  In the Allied forces, it was standard issue anti-personnel device grenade until the end of World War II (1939-1945) and during the was replaced by the M26-series (M26/M61/M57), first used during the Korean War (1950-1953).  However, because supply contracts issued in 1944-1945 had envisaged the conflict with Japan lasting well into 1945, the production levels were such that the US stockpiles of the Mark 2 meant that the inventory wasn’t exhausted until late 1968, by which time the standard-issue item was the M33 series (M33/M67).  In the military way, the American slang was adopted by Japanese soldiers as パイナップル (painappuru).

Reasons to eat pineapple

A member of the bromeliad family, the pineapple is a genuine rarity in that it’s the only edible bromeliad which has survived into the modern era.  Traditionally, it’s eaten by cutting away the spiky casing, then slicing the flesh into bite-sized pieced but it’s actually a multiple fruit, one pineapple actually made up of dozens of individual flowerets that grow together to form the entire fruit.  Each scale on a pineapple is evidence of a separate flower and in a TikTok video which changed the life of some pineapple people, user Dillon Roberts showed how the flowerets can be pealed-off and eaten piece by pyramid-shaped piece, obviating any need to chop and slice.  Not all pineapples have a skim which permits the approach but for those which do, it’s most convenient.  Unlike many fruits, pineapples stop ripening the minute they are picked and no techniques of storage will make them further ripen and although there’s much obvious variation, color is relatively unimportant in assessing ripeness, pineapples needing to be chosen by smell; it the fragrance suggests something fresh, tropical and sweet, it will be a good fruit and, as a general principle, the more scales, the sweeter and juicier it will be.  For those who live in an accommodatingly tropical region, the top can be planted and in most cases it will grow.

Lindsay Lohan sleeping next to "pineapple" pillow, Zaya Nurai Island, Abu Dhabi, 2018.

Pineapple has always been prized because of the taste and texture but there are genuine health benefits and it has long be valued for easing the symptoms of indigestion, arthritis and sinusitis, the juice also offering an anthelmintic effect which helps rid the body of intestinal worms.  Pineapple is high in manganese, a mineral critical to bone development and connective tissue, a cup of fresh pineapple enough to provide some 75% of the recommended daily intake and it’s especially helpful to older adults, the bones of whom tend to become brittle.  The essential component of pineapple is bromelain, a proteolytic (literally breaks down protein”) enzyme known to be both an aid in the digestive process and an effective anti-inflammatory, a daily ingestion purported to relieve the joint pain associated with osteoarthritis.  In the Fourth Reich, bromelain is approved as a post-injury medication because of the documented reduction in swelling.  Fresh pineapple is also a good source in Vitamin which, combined with the effect of the bromelain, reduces mucous in the throat which is why it’s a common component in hospital food because it reduces the volume of mucous after sinus and throat surgery.

There is evidence to suggest pineapple consumption can assist with troublesome sinuses and for those who wish to experiment, pineapple is one of the safer fruits because it’s low-risk for allergies.  More speculative is a possible role in reducing a propensity towards blood-clotting which would make pineapple a useful dietary addition for frequent fliers or others at heightened risk from deep-vein thrombosis (DVT) but it may be that any increase in the consumption of fresh fruit and vegetables would show similar benefits.  Also unproven is the efficacy of the old folk remedy which suggests pineapple juice is helpful in countering the symptoms of morning sickness.  Of late, there’s also the suggestion the effect is heightened if the juice is taken with a handful of nuts but at this stage that seems a new folk remedy added to the old.  Still, as long as one’s stomach has no great sensitivity to the acidic nature of the fruit, most can take it in small doses without any problems and, because the fresh juice discourages the growth of plaque, it’s makes for a healthier mouth.

Pizza

Pizza (pronounced peet-suh)

A flat, open-faced baked pie of Italian origin, consisting of a thin layer of bread dough topped with spiced tomato sauce and cheese, often garnished with anchovies, sausage slices, mushrooms etc and baked in a very hot oven; also called pizza pie.

Pre 1000: From the Modern Neapolitan Italian pizza (a variant of pitta (a flat bread)), the origin of which is uncertain.  Although unattested, it may be related to the Vulgar Latin picea, from the Classical Latin piceus (relating to pitch).  An alternative, and more likely, etymology traces it back to the Byzantine Greek πίτα (pita) (cake, pie) which exists in Modern Greek as pitta (cake), the ultimate root being the Ancient Greek pḗtea (bran) and pētítēs (bran; bread).  More speculative is the suggested link with the Langobardic (an ancient German language in northern Italy), from a Germanic source akin to the Old High German pizzo or bizzo (mouthful; morsel; bite) from the proto-Germanic biton (bit).

The first documented use of the word pizza appears to have been AD 997 in Gaeta and then later in different parts of Central and Southern Italy although it’s unclear whether it refers to something which would now be called a pizza.  The official Italian view remains that published in 1907 in the two volume Vocabolario Etimologico della Lingua Italiana (Etymological Vocabulary of the Italian language) that the origin lies in the dialectal pinza (clamp) from the Latin pinsere (to pound or stamp).  The word appears not to have entered general use in English use until the early 1800s although it was known, English linguist, poet & lexicographer John Florio (1552-1625; aka Giovanni Florio) included an entry in his Italian-English Dictionary (A Worlde of Wordes, or Dictionarie of the Italian and English tongues (1598)) defining pizza as “a small cake or wafer”.

Lindsay Lohan with slice of pizza.

The concept of a flat piece of bread dough, covered with savory toppings, is so obviously a convenient and economical way of preparing a meal using pre-modern technology that pizza-like dishes were probably included in the meals of many cultures, the cooking method doubtless quite ancient.  From Greek and Roman records it’s apparent it was known in antiquity a doubtless pre-dates even those civilizations, the Armenians famously having staked a claim to its invention but as part of modernity, it’s long been regarded as one of Italy’s many gifts to the world.  Within Italy, it’s the Neapolitans who most regard it as their own and some are quite proprietorial, appalled by some of the variations (especially those favored by English-speaking barbarians) which appear around the planet, the most infamous probably the ham and pineapple pizza, apparently a Canadian innovation from 1962.  The Neapolitans have allies in their battle for culinary hygiene, Iceland's president, Guðni Jóhannesson (b 1968, President of Iceland since 2016) in 2017 saying he’d like to ban pineapple on pizza.  He later confirmed to do so wasn’t within the constitutional authority of his office and admitted it wasn’t a desirable power of a head of state to possess.  Thinking it an abomination, the Neapolitans are probably more dictatorial and would ban it if they could, insisting that all may appear atop a pizza base is:

Plum tomatoes
Tomato puree (optional)
A sprinkling of table or sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Fresh Mozzarella balls
Parmesan cheese
A drizzle of Olive Oil
A hand-full of fresh basil leaves

The pizzeria (shop where pizzas are made, sold, or eaten) seems to have been a US coining, noted from 1928 in New York City, the number of restaurant using the name proliferating quickly there before spreading in the US and beyond.  In the 1920s and 1930s, “pizzeria” was used also to describe the dish itself.  The shortened for “za” was US student slang for pizza, two syllables just too much for the hippies of the time.

Crooked Hillary Clinton eating pizza: crookedly.

Pizzagate was a conspiracy theory that circulated during the 2016 US presidential campaign, sparked by WikiLeaks publishing a tranche of emails from within the Democrat Party machine.  According to some, encoded in the text of the emails was a series of messages between highly-placed members of the party who were involved in a pedophile ring, even detailing crooked Hillary Clinton’s part in the ritualistic sexual abuse of children in the basement of a certain pizzeria in Washington DC.  The named pizzeria didn’t actually have a basement but the story for a while caused a stir, later integrated (though with less specificity) into the cultural phenomenon which would next year emerge as QAnon.  QAnon may have started as satire in the wake of pizzagate, an absurdist parody of conspiracy theories with claims only simpletons would take seriously but it turned out there were a lot of them about and QAnon soon gained critical mass, assuming a life of its own.  What its rapid traction did suggest was those asserting something unbelievably evil or bizarre need only to claim crooked Hillary Clinton is in some way involved to make it sound creditable.  Had it not been for the perception of crooked Hillary's crooked crookedness, the whole QAnon thing may never have become a thing.

Donald Trump with Sarah Palin (b 1964; 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee), eating pizza with knife & fork.

The Italians (who should know), maintain the correct way to eat pizza is with a knife & fork, starting at the triangular tip and working towards the crust.  Only when what remains is a small remnant of crust, resistant to the prod of the fork, is it thought good form to pick it up with the fingers.  Folding, a popular recommendation among those concerned with cheese-loss, is also frowned upon.  In Italian a folded slice of pizza is known as a calzone (literally “stocking; trouser”) and even those should be eaten with knife & fork.

Donald Trump eating pizza, tip first.

Pizza etiquette is an inexact science but in the West there are few prepared to argue the correct technique is anything but some variation on holding it at the crust-end and eating from the tip although there are some bases so thin and floppy they defy any method short of being rolled into a sushi-like cylinder: for these it’s whatever works.  Generally though, hold the pizza by the crust and begin.  If it’s a thin base and droops towards the tip, lift it higher and lower the tip to the mouth; as the width of what’s left increases, structural integrity will improve and by at least half-way through, it’ll be rigid enough to be eaten horizontally.  Using the thumb, index and middle finger, the slice can slightly be curved (the edges raised) to prevent cheese or other topping sliding off.  In New York City, locals often insist this is called the “New York fold” but, having claimed authorship of the Martini (disputed) and the club sandwich (probably true), many assume if it’s in NYC, they own it.

Advertising agency BBDO's concept paper (3 August 1995) for Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust campaign (Donald & Ivana Trump).

Proving that Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021) will do just about anything for money, in 1995 he and ex-wife (#1; the divorce granted in 1990) Ivana (née Zelníčková, 1949–2022)  starred in a commercial for Pizza Hut’s new “Stuffed Crust” pizza, encouraging consumers to eat the things “crust first”.   He knew it was wrong but did it anyway, something some critics suggest is an element in much of Mr Trump's conduct.

Recommended pizza toppings

Silverbeet, broccolini & mozzarella
Sweet potato, goat's cheese & pine nuts
Crab, roasted capsicum & pesto
Grilled aubergine (eggplant) & parmigiana
Blue cheese & roast pumpkin
Polenta, cheese & mushroom
Asparagus & artichoke pesto
Turkey, sticky onion & tart cranberry relish
Grilled aubergine (eggplant) & artichoke
Caramelized pineapple & bacon
Smoked salmon & brie
Pumpkin & zucchini with basil
Zucchini, capsicum & cashew
Gorgonzola, potato & bacon

Fluff

Fluff (pronounced fluhf)

(1) Light, downy particles, as of cotton.

(2) A soft, light, downy mass.

(3) In slang, a cloth diaper (nappy).

(4) In slang (New England region in the US), marshmallow crème, thus the local delicacy the “fluffernutter” (a sandwich made with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff), once a favorite of children’s school lunches but now likely to attract “mom shaming” on Instagram.

(5) In LGBTQQIAAOP slang, the passive partner in a lesbian relationship, known also as a “ruffle” (unfortunately the dominant partner is not known as a “flounce” which seems a missed linguistic opportunity).

(6) In slang, (Australia, New Zealand, Canada), a fart.

(7) In the slang of pop-culture fandom, fan fiction (in whole or in part) is “sweet and feel-good” in tone, often involving romance.

(8) In the slang (UK) of the role-playing game community, a form of role-playing that is inconsequential and not related to the plot; it's used sometimes in the context of (but not limited to)  “fulling in time”.

(9) In UK slang, short change deliberately given by a railway clerk (keeping the money for themselves), an clipping of “deliberate fluff” (obsolete).

(10) Figuratively, something of no consequence; insubstantial. 

(11) Figuratively (of literature, political argument, philosophy etc), a slight work or one of dubious artistic or intellectual value; unscholarly (used also as a polite euphemism for BS (bullshit), being less explicit than “cattle feces” (faeces in non-US English)).

(12) An error (flub, lapse, blooper, blunder, boo-boo, defect, error, fault, faux pas, gaffe, lapse, mistake, slip, stumble, brain-fart, brain-explosion), especially an actor's memory lapse in the delivery of lines (often in the form “fluffed their lines”).

(13) A young woman (often as “a bit of fluff”), the implication being of her providing a brief, amusing diversion rather than one sought for a permanent relationship).

(14) To make into fluff; shake or puff out (feathers, hair etc) into a fluffy mass (often followed by up).

(15) To make a mistake.

(16) To become fluffy; move, float, or settle down like fluff.

(17) To embellish (often as “fluffed up”).

1780s: From the earlier (or perhaps contemporary) floow (woolly substance, down, nap, lint (which appeared also as flough, flue & flew)), possibly from the West Flemish vluwe (an imitative modification of floow), of uncertain origin but which may be from the French velu (hairy, furry), from the Latin villūtus (having shaggy hair), from villus (shaggy hair, tuft of hair) and may be compared with the Old English flōh (that which is flown off, fragment, piece), linked to the later “flaw”.  Although undocumented, etymologists generally conclude the word may have been a blend of flue +‎ puff.  “Fluffy stuff” is a common phenomenon in the natural world and descriptors existed in many European languages including the possibly onomatopoeic Middle Dutch vloe, the dialectal English floose, flooze & fleeze (particles of wool or cotton; fluff; loose threads or fibres), the Danish fnug (down, fluff) and the Swedish fnugg (speck, flake).  Traces of the sound of the word “fluff” are found in other languages including the Japanese フワフワ (fuwafuwa) (lightly, softly), the Hungarian puha (soft, fluffy), the Polish puchaty (soft, fluffy) and the Romanian puf (down; peachfuzz; soft hair of some animals; powderpuff).  Fluff & fluffing are nouns & verbs, fluffed is a verb, fluffiness & fluffer are nouns, fluffless & flufflike are adjectives, fluffy is an adjective (and non-standard) noun and fluffily is an adverb; the noun plural is fluffs.

Fluffied: Lindsay Lohan in bikini embellished with faux fur, photo-shoot for the fifth anniversary of ODDA magazine, April 2017.

In idiomatic use there’s “fluff around” of “fluff about” (ineffectually to act or waste time”, “fluff off” (an affectionate form of “fuck off”), “fluff-ball” or “ball of fluff” (a fluffy kitten or puppy with the quality of “cuteness”), “bum fluff” or “belly-button fluff” (small particles the fabric of clothing which accumulates in body crevices), “fluffhead” (someone vague or confused (synonymous with “airhead”), “fluff up” (a polite version of “fuck up”).  The term “fluffy bunny” isn’t from lagomorphology (the scientific study of rabbits (small mammals in the family Leporidae)) although it may be assumed the term is used in pet shops.  Fluffy bunny (also as “fluff bunny” & “fluffbunny”) was an adaptable noun used to mean: (1) a synonym of chubby bunny (a competitive eating game in which contestants had to pronounce words or phrases (such as “Irish wristwatch”) while holding increasing numbers of marshmallows is their mouth), (2) in the strange world of quantum mechanics, quantum entanglement, which in theory can occur but may or may not happen because of "other physics" and (3) a derogatory descriptor of a casual, naive practitioner of Wicca (or other neo-pagan religions), especially one deemed to have only a superficial understanding.  The slang “bit of fluff” (young woman with whom one is enjoying or planning a brief affair) was first recorded in 1903 while the use to describe the marshmallow confection seems to date from at least 1920, noted in Massachusetts.  The verb in the sense of “to shake into a soft mass” was in use by 1875 (directly from the noun) while the meaning “make a mistake” dates from 1884 as theatre slang referring to actors who had forgotten or weongly spoken (fluffed) their lines.  The adjective fluffy (containing or resembling fluff) came into use in the 1820s.

“Fluff jobs” were those deemed of dubious worth or existing only to fulfil some government-imposed mandate, one marker of which was said to be the length of the job title (eg deputy regional assistant coordinator of diversity and inclusion).  The concept was satirised by Douglas Adams (1952–2001) in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1979-1992), the profession of “telephone sanitizer” being a classic “Fluff job”.  The the joke was that having exiled the fluffy (telephone sanitizers, advertising account executives, management consultants and such) the ancient civilization of the planet Golgafrincham being driven to extinction by the spread of a lethal pathogen through the vector of uncleaned telephone handsets.  The exiled “fluffies” ended up on Planet Earth where they became the ancestors of modern humans, explaining the proliferation of “fluff jobs” now so obvious.  

A Bit of Fluff (1963) by Kimberly Kemp.

Kimberly Kemp was a pseudonym adopted by Gilbert Fox (1917-2004) for his “lesbian pulp novels”, dozens of which were published during the 1960s & 1970s.  His other lesbian fiction (in a slightly different) vein appeared under names including Dallas Mayo and Violet Loring while for his “heterosexual erotica” he used Peter Willow and Paul Russo.  Unfortunately, the cover-art for his titles is unattributed and the publishers may have used many graphic artists while maintaining the thematic consistency (which was something like “Mills & Boon undressed”).  Mr Fox led a varied and interesting life and A Bit of Fluff (1963) was illustrative of the lesbionic component of his oeuvre, other titles including: Intimate Nurse; A World All Their Own; The Houseguest; My Secret Lesbian Life, Vol I; My Secret Lesbian Life, Vol II; Lesbian Obsession; Perfume and Pain; Private party; Different; The Last Resort; Coming Out Party; Pleasant Company; Operation: Sex; A Cunning Among Lesbians; Play With Me; Illicit Interlude; Two Women; The houseguest; Love like a Shadow; A labor of love; Party Time; Secret Cravings; Draw the Blinds; Two of a Kind, Virgin Wanted; Perfumed/Pampered.

Middlemarch by George Eliot, first edition, 1871 (vol I) & 1872 (Vol II, III & IIII).  Appearing originally in eight paper-bound instalments (1871-1872), the hardback editions (in four volumes) were published in parallel, something not at the time the industry's universal practice.

Mr Fox opted to use a feminine pen-name for his lesbian erotica to lend a touch of authenticity, suggesting what would now be called “lived experience” rather than the rather formulaic approach to the topic taken by male authors who tended often to indulge their own fantasies; definitely he was interested in attracting a female readership and reverse-gender pseudonyms have a history, the most famous probably George Eliot (pen name of Mary Ann Evans (1819–1880)).  Ms Evans adopted a masculine pen-name not because it wasn’t possible for women novelists to find publishers but because “women’s fiction” was at the time regarded as a “fluffy, trivial amusements” while she wanted to focus on the more challenging themes men were exploring in the “realism” genre then fashionable in European literature.  It’s good she did because, although dated, works like Romola (1862–1863) and Middlemarch (1871–1872) are rewarding and even valuable source documents for social historians.

Catch 22 (1961) by Joseph Heller: Polymesmeric but not fluffy.

Literary editors use the phrase “brushing the dog” to describe the process of “removing the fluff” from a manuscript, hopefully leaving only nice, glossy text.  Literary historians sometimes compare originals with the edited versions that appeared in print and although there’s sometimes come regret for some of what was lost, generally the view seem to be that editors produce a better book.  Once who suggested an editor should have used a stiffer brush was the old curmudgeon Norman Mailer (1923–2007) who, writing of Joseph Heller’s (1923-1999) Catch-22 (1961), joked that a reader wouldn’t notice were “100 pages pulled from the middle”, adding “not even the author could be certain they were gone.”  The non-lineal structure of Catch 22 certainly demanded some mental gymnastics from readers (one publisher coined “polymesmeric” for the blurb) and, pace Norman Mailer but it might have been more accurate to suggest the chapter order could have been re-arranged without compromising the literary value.  Even if those same readers might find 100 pages to remove, not all would agree on which 100 pages.

Watergate Fluff

Watergate fluff is one of the alternative terms for the dish “Watergate Salad”, the others including Green Fluff, Green Goddess, Fluff Salad and Funeral Salad, the last picked up reputedly because it was so often served at wakes.  It’s not clear how the culinary delight came to be called “Watergate Salad” although there’s no doubt the use was triggered by some association the Watergate scandal of the early 1970s which revolved around attempts by the administration of Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961 & POTUS 1969-1974) to “cover up” the involvement of operatives connected to the White House with the break-in in June 1972 of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) headquarters in Washington DC’s Watergate Building.  Interestingly, although the scandal (in the public perception, although the legal proceedings would last longer) ended in August 1974 when Nixon resigned, the first known use of the term “Watergate Salad” dates from 1975 although in September 1974, Maryland's Hagerstown Daily Mail had published the recipe for “Watergate Cake”, also a similarly green-tinted dessert made with pistachio pudding in the mix and sometimes the icing.

Fluffy dice (in period 1970s brown) in 1974 Ford Mustang II Ghia.  It is a truth universally acknowledged, that of the seven generations of Ford Mustang produced since 1964, it is a second generation (Watergate scandal era) Mustang II (1973-1978) in which it is most likely a pair of fluffy dice will be hanging from the rear-view mirror.  If they're seen dangling in a Boss 429 (1969-1970), that's irony.

The dish however predates the term.  Some claim the Kraft Foods Corporation deserves credit (apparently as a proud boast rather than an admission of guilt) as the creator because in 1975 they published a recipe called “Pistachio Pineapple Delight” as part of a promotional campaign to support the release that year of their “Pistachio Pudding Mix” (something with a long tradition, a whipped cream and pineapple concoction detailed in a Kansas newspaper in 1913, the year Richard Nixon was born).  At that point, history and myth become hard to untangle, one story saying the food editor of the Chicago Tribune named it to stimulate interest, suggesting it was the ideal snack to enjoy while watching the televised hearings of proceedings pursuant to the scandal while another claimed it was associative because the Watergate Hotel (in the by then infamous building) served the salad on their popular weekend buffets; no menus appear to have survived to prove or disprove that one.  Best suggestion was the name was chosen because the salad was “full of nuts” (like the crew involved in the scandal, including the memorable lawyer and Watergate burglary coordinator G Gordon Liddy (1930–2021) who wasn’t really “a nut” but often has been portrayed as one).  True or not, that’s the one which deserves to be accepted.

Aleita Dupree's Watergate Salad recipe

Ingredients

1 (3 ½ oz) box of instant pistachio pudding mix.
1 (20 oz) can of crushed pineapple with juice (most use sweetened).
1 (8 oz) container of cool whip, thawed.
1 heaped cup of miniature marshmallows.
½ cup of chopped pecan nuts.
Stemmed maraschino cherries for garnish (optional).

Instructions

(1) In glass serving bowl, mix crushed pineapple and juice with pistachio pudding mix.  Stir pudding until mix completely is dissolved and mixture is smooth.

(2) Fold in the thawed cool whip.  Gently fold until pudding and cool whip is completely blended.

(3) Add miniature marshmallows and pecans.  Cover and chill until salad is set (should take up to 30 minutes).

(4) To serve, garnish with stemmed cherries and extra chopped pecans (if desired).

Fluff in fashion

Fluffiness in fashion: Lindsay Lohan in Falling for Christmas (Netflix, 2022, left) and in New York to promote Irish Wish (Netflix, 2024, right).  The fluffy cream coat is by David Koma (Davit Komakhidze b 1985), a London-based, Georgian-born fashion designer (the label of his fashion house is stylized as DΛVID KOMΛ).  The crystal payette-embroidered layered cup bra hints at the profile of the customer base and did appear on sale at US$1250 (down from US$1750).  The fashion business is regarded by some as a bit “fluffy” (frocks and such) compared with “hard” industries (heavy engineering, nuclear weapons etc) but globally the annual turnover of the fashion industry is substantial.  The numbers bounce around a bit because it difficult to determine where “fashion” ends and “commodities” begin but estimates between US$1.5-2.5 trillion widely are quoted (In financial use, one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (one million million or 1,000 billion)).

Kebab

Kebab (pronounced kuh-bob or khe-bab)

(1) A dish consisting of small pieces of meat, tomatoes, onions, etc, threaded onto skewers and grilled, generally over char-coal (in this classic skewered form also called the shish kebab); the most common short form is ‘bab.

(2) In Australia, a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegetarian kebabs are also sold.

(3) To roast in the style of a kebab.

(4) In slang, to stab or skewer (something or someone).

(5) In Indian English use, roast meat.

(6) Colloquially and metonymically, as “the kebab”, a shop or restaurant which sells kebabs (although the technically incorrect genitive singular form kebaba is used in some places).

(7) In chemistry, the outward growing portions of a shish kebab structure.

(8) In slang as an offensive, ethnic slur, a person of Middle Eastern, or North African descent (applied by appearance and usually with the implication the subject is a Muslim and, in Germany, Turkish).

(9) In vulgar slang (mostly working-class UK), the vulva.

(10) In computing, as kebab menu (also called the three (vertical) dots menu), a convention in the design of graphical user interfaces which appears as an icon used to open a menu with additional options, often for configuration or utility purposes.  The icon most often appears at the top-right or (less commonly) the top-left of the screen or window.  It is distinguished form the “meatball menu” which uses three horizontal dots.

1665-1675: From the Arabic كَبَاب‎ (kabāb) (roast or fried meat), ultimately from the Proto-Semitic kabab- (to burn, to roast).  The word entered English under the Raj, via Urdu, Persian, Hindi and the Turkish kebap and the spellings found around the world include kabob kebob cabob kabaab, kabob, kebap, kabab & kebob.  The use of kebab as an ethnic slur directed at Muslims has, in the phrase “remove kebab” become a staple of the alt-right, great-replacement conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and other malcontents.  It became well-known in the mid-1990s because of the phonetic association with the Serbian Nationalist song of ethnic cleansing, Караџићу, води Србе своје (romanized as Karadžiću, vodi Srbe svoje which translates as “Karadžić, Lead Your Serbs)), a reference to the Bosnian Serb political leader Dr Radovan Karadžić (b 1945), once known (and even celebrated) for his poetry and now serving a life sentence for crimes against humanity.  Kebab is a noun (used usually in the plural) & verb, kebabbing & kebabbed are verbs; the noun plural is kebabs.

Noted kebabs

Some linguistically contradictory but delicious vegetarian shish kebabs.

The classic shish kebab was made by skewering (vaguely cuboid) chunks of grilled meat.  Associated with many Mediterranean cuisines, it’s essentially the same dish as the shashlik and khorovats, found in the Caucasus.  Traditionally, reflecting the geographical origin, shish kebab were made with lamb but have also long been made with various kinds of meat, poultry, or fish.  In Türkiye, shish kebabs are accompanied by vegetables but these grilled separately and sit on their own skewer (or sometimes on a side-plate).  In the barbaric West, the meat and vegetable chunks are usually on the same skewer and this sometimes includes pineapple, something said to appall the Turks.  Shish was from the Turkish şiş (skewer), from the Ottoman Turkish شیش‎ (şiş) (swollen) and related to the verb şişmek, cognate with Old Turkic šïš.

A plate of chapli kebabs.

The chapli kebab (چپلي کباب in Pashto) was a Pashtun-style minced-meat dish, made usually with ground beef, mutton, lamb or chicken, spiced and formed into the shape of a patty.  The origins of the dish lie in the old North-West Frontier of the Raj (the area around Peshawar, capital of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in modern-day northern Pakistan).  The cuisine, adapted with local variations and dietary rules, is popular throughout South Asia and West Asia and food critics note that the further it is from Peshawar, the more complex and elaborate are the alterations and additions compared to the simple original.  Chapli Kababs can be served and eaten hot with naan or as a bun kebab.  Chapli is thought to be from the Pashto word chaprikh, chapdikh & chapleet (flat), thus the use for the kebab with a light, round and flattened texture.  A more amusing theory suggests the dish is named after the chappal (sandals), the implication being one’s meal looks as if it has been flattened by a man wearing a sandal.  It’s fine folklore but humorless etymologists prefer to think of Chapli as a shortened version of chapleet.

Mural of Lindsay Lohan in hijab (al-amira) with kebab roll by an unknown street artist (graffitist), Melbourne, Australia (left) and the photograph artist used as template (right).

In multi-cultural Australia, the kebab roll has become a fixture in the fast-food scene with variations extending from vegan to pure meat, the term “kebab” something of a generic meaning what the vendor decides it means.  Cross-culturally the kebab roll fills a particular niche as the standard 3 am snack enjoyed by those leaving night clubs, a place and time at which appetites are heightened.  After midnight, many kebab rolls are sold by street vendors from mobile carts and those in the Middle East will not be surprised to learn barbaric Australians sometimes add pineapple to their roll.  The photograph of Ms Lohan in hijab was taken during a “doorstop” (an informal press conference) after her visit in October 2016 to Gaziantep (known to locals as Antep), a city in the Republic of Türkiye’s south-eastern Anatolia Region.  The purpose of the visit was to meet with Syrian refugees being housed in Gaziantep’s Nizip district and the floral hijab was a gift from one of the residents who presumably assisted with the placement because there’s an art to a well-worn al-amira.

Doner kebab in the Berlin style.

The doner kebab is a certain type of kebab, made with meat cooked on a vertical rotisserie which is almost always in public view.  Seasoned meat stacked in the shape of an inverted cone is turned slowly on the rotisserie, the heat coming from vertical cooking elements immediately adjacent.  To prepare a doner kebab, the operator uses a knife to slice thin shavings from the cooked, outer layer of the rotating meat.  This method of cooking, invented in the Ottoman Empire in the mid-1800s has been adopted in many countries.  In Australia, a kebab is a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegan & vegetarian kebabs are also sold.  The modern sandwich variant of döner kebab was first seen in the 1960s in shops in West Berlin operated by Turkish immigrants and quickly became popular to the point where it is now an accepted part of German cuisine and often ordered in the short form “doner”.  The noun, verb & adjective döner was from the Ottoman Turkish دونر‎ (döner) (to turn round; spinning; to rotate), from dönmek (to turn).