Malarkey

Malarkey (pronounced muh-lahr-kee)

(1) Speech or writing designed to obscure, mislead, or impress; bunkum; a lie.

(2) Stuff (according to Joe Biden).

1920s: An Americanism of uncertain origin which, despite the urban myth, seems not linked directly to any Irish regionalism or slang although it is a surname of Irish origin.  There may be some relationship with the Greek μαλακός (malakós) (soft; compliant, meek; gentle, mellow, mild, mild-mannered) or μαλακία (malakía) (literally “masturbation”) which figuratively was used to mean “idiocy, stupidity; bullshit, nonsense” in much the same way “wanker” is used in English.  The word gained its early currency from its use by Irish-American cartoonist Thomas Aloysius “Tad” Dorgan (1877–1929), his first use of the word appearing in March 1922.  The synonyms include balderdash, drivel, humbug, foolishness, hogwash, nonsense, & ribbish.  Malarkey is a noun and the (more rare still) noun plural is malarkeys.  Over the years, the spellings malarkey, malachy, malarky, mallarky & mullarkey have all appeared and, as an informal noun, probably none can be said to be right or wrong but malarkey is certainly the most common.

The Irish surname Malarkey was from the Gaelic ó Maoilearca, a patronymic meaning “a descendant of Maoilearca, a follower of St. Earc” and the first known records are in the parish records of Tír Chonaill (Tirconnell; in present day County Donegal, Ulster) where they held a family seat as a branch of the O'Connell's.  The spelling variations (something not then uncommon) were legion and included, inter-alia, Mullarkey, Mullarky, Mallarky, Malarchy, Malarkey, Mularkey and many more.  By the time the name had spread to North America, the spelling had settled on Malarkey and it’s speculated it may have entered the lexicon of slang in the 1920s as an ethnic slur, based on the stereotype of the Irish as slow-witted and given to nonsensical statements.  Another word in US slang during the same era was ackamarackus which, although not documented until the 1930s, it may have been in oral use earlier.  Unlike malarkey, ackamarackus appears to be wholly an arbitrary formation (albeit one with a hint of pseudo-Latin) with not ethnic link and instead simply an attempt to convey the sense of the nonsensical.  Some possible authors have been suggested but the evidence is scant.

Carl Giles noting comrade Khrushchev’s arrival in Washington DC, Daily Express, September 1959.

In September 1959, comrade Nikita Khrushchev (1894–1971; Soviet leader 1953-1964) paid a state visit to the US while the Americans, who had been so shocked by the launch of Sputnik (October 1957), were in the early stages of what came to be called the “space race”, something which really began with the Pentagon moving to match the so-called “missile gap” (which was later proved to be illusory).  The Beaverbrook press’s cartoonist Cark Giles (1916-1995) was well acquainted with British stereotypes of Americans and his use of “malarkey” presumably references the idea of US police forces being dominated by the Irish.

When Joe Biden chose "No Malarkey!" as a campaign slogan for the 2020 presidential campaign, it wasn’t without risk because it was then, as it remains, a fuddy-duddy word and one associated (by the few who knew of it) with old men (the “pale, male & stale” said now to be marketing poison).  Although US presidential politics has of late been dominated by geriatrics (Biden now 80, Donald Trump 76 and crooked Hillary Clinton 75 (though she looks older)), candidates more youthful have tended to be preferred and when Ronald Reagan (b 1911; US president 1981-1989), then a spritely 69, ran in 1980, his advisors didn’t much care about comments suggesting he was “too ignorant” but devoted much effort to managing perceptions he was “too old”.

Campaign bus of Joe Biden (b 1942; US president since 2021), Iowa, 2020.

However, #NoMalarkey probably was a good choice because it was authentically a reflection of the way Biden talks and was at least coherent, unlike much of what he says and it wasn’t as if anyone would have been fooled (as crooked Hillary has attempted) into thinking he was younger.  So, it had the virtue of authenticity which in the age of Donald Trump, crooked Hillary, fake news and twitterbots, must have had some appeal to a cynical electorate and it was distinctive, probably not having much appeared in many campaigns in living memory.  It’s certainly been a part of Biden’s language for years; in the 2012 vice presidential debate with then house speaker Paul Ryan (b 1970; speaker of the US House of Representatives 2015-2019), Biden dismissed one attack as “a bunch of malarkey”.  That was fine but a little later he called another of Ryan statements “a bunch of stuff” which prompted the debate’s moderator to ask what that meant.  Helpfully, Ryan (a good Irish name) interjected to say “It’s Irish” and while in other circumstances Biden (then a youthful 70), would probably just have rejoined “it’s bullshit” , he instead returned to his theme and said “we Irish call it malarkey.”

In political use, it’s actually a handy way of calling someone a liar without using the word and probably better than something like “mendacious” which is too clever (the voters apparently don’t like politicians using words with an obscure meaning) or the crooked Hillaryesque “misspeak” which is a weasel-word.  He clearly found it helpful because the Washington Post’s 2015 analysis of Sunlight Foundation data found that in the twentieth & twenty-first centuries, Biden had said “malarkey” more than anyone on the floor of either house of Congress.  His championing of malarkey seemed also to give the word a nudge back into the mainstream beyond the beltway because, in 2013, the HuffPost reported Lindsay Lohan (another good Irish name) as saying part of a story about her run in the New York Times Magazine was “malarkey”.

Miosótis

Miosótis (pronounced mahy-uh-soh-tis)

Any plant belonging to the boraginaceous (of the borage family) genus Myosotis, having basal leaves and pink or white flowers; known generally as the forget-me-not.

1700–1710: From the New Latin & Latin myosōtis from the Ancient Greek μυοσωτίς (myosōtís or muosōtis) (mouse's ear (in the context of botany)), the construct being myós (genitive of mŷs or muos (mouse)) + -ōt- (stem of oûs (ear)) + -is (the noun suffix).  The mouse-ear (Myosotis Arvensis (type species Myosotis scorpioides)) is also called mouse-lug and the original Hellenic name was based on the idea of the foliage have some resemblance to the rodent's ears.  In Portuguese, the plant is also known as the não-te-esqueças-de-mim (literally "do not forget about me" and thus akin to "forget me not") & orelha-de-rato (mouse ear).  Miosótis is a noun; the noun plural is miosótis.  The alternative spelling myosótis is obsolete.

The miosótis is a perennial flowering plant, the flowers having five sepals and petals, typically flat and less than a half-inch (1.25 mm) in diameter, the color range including pink, white, yellow & blue with yellow centres, sprouting in a scorpioid cluster.  Flowering happens almost in spring, coinciding with the melting of snow in alpine regions.  The genus was originally described by Swedish botanist, zoologist, taxonomist, and physician Carl Linnaeus (1707–1778), famous for having systematized binomial nomenclature, the modern system of naming organisms and thus known as the "father of modern taxonomy".  The colloquial names in the northern hemisphere are "forget-me-not" and (less commonly "scorpion grass" (based on the spiraled clustering of the flowers) and Myosotis alpestris is the official flower of both Alaska and Dalsland, Sweden.  In other places, the common names vary and because of the vivid colors they are popular among amateur horticulturists, having spread to many of the Earth’s temperate regions where, outside of curated artificial environments, they prefer moist locations such as wetlands and riverbanks.

The “mouse’s ear” explained by Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried (b 1985)) in Mean Girls (2004).  Note the resemblance to the petals of the miosótis flower

Empire

Empire (pronounced em-pahyuhr (sometimes om-peer if affecting to speak of things historically French)).

(1) A group of nations or peoples ruled over by an emperor, empress, or other powerful sovereign or government: usually a territory of greater extent than a kingdom, as the former British Empire, French Empire, Russian Empire, Byzantine Empire, or Roman Empire.

(2) As First Empire, the period of imperial rule in France under Napoleon Bonaparte, 1804-1815; as Second Empire, the period of Imperial rule under Napoleon III, 1852-1870 (a decadent period).

(3) A government under an emperor or empress.

(4) The historical period during which a nation is under such a government (often initial capital letter).

(5) Supreme power in governing; imperial power; sovereignty.

(6) Supreme control; absolute sway.

(7) A powerful and important enterprise or holding of large scope, especially one controlled by a single person, family, or group of associates.

(8) In horticulture, a variety of apple somewhat resembling the McIntosh.

(9) In fashion, of the style that prevailed during the first French Empire, in clothing being characterized especially by décolletage and a high waistline, coming just below the bust, from which the skirt hangs straight and loose (usually initial capital letter).

(10) As Empire State, a term for New York since 1834.

(11) In architecture and design, noting or pertaining to the style of architecture, furnishings, and decoration prevailing in France, emulated variously in various other places circa 1800-1830; characterized by the use of delicate but elaborate ornamentation imitated from Greek and Roman examples or containing classical allusions, as animal forms for the legs of furniture, bas-reliefs of classical figures, motifs of wreaths, torches, caryatids, lyres, and urns and by the occasional use of military and Egyptian motifs and, under the Napoleonic Empire itself, of symbols alluding to Napoleon I, as bees or the letter N (often initial capital letter).

1250–1300: From the Middle English empire (territory subject to an emperor's rule (and, in general "realm, dominion"), from the Anglo-French & Old French empire & empere (rule, authority, kingdom, imperial rule; authority of an emperor, supreme power in governing; imperial power), from the Latin imperium & inperium (a rule, a command; authority, control, power; supreme power, sole dominion; military authority; a dominion, realm) from inperare & imperāre (to command) from parāre (to prepare; to make ready; order).  The construct of the Latin imperare was in- (in) (from the primitive Indo-European root en (in)) + parare (to order, prepare) (from the primitive Indo-European root pere- (to produce, procure).  A doublet of empery and imperium.

In English, the early understanding of the word was defined substantially by the knowledge (however imperfect) of the Persian and Roman (especially the latter) empires of Antiquity and though never etymologically restricted to "territory ruled by an emperor", for entirely logical reasons it did tend to be used that way.  The phrase "the Empire" (which in the UK and the British empire almost exclusively implied "the British Empire" (dating from 1772)) previously would have been supposed to be a reference to the Holy Roman Empire.  Officially, the British Empire devolved into "The Commonwealth" in 1931 because of the constitutional implications of the Statute of Westminster (and the changing world view) but opinion is divided on when it really ended, most dating it from Indian independence in 1947 (when George VI ceased to be George RI (Rex Imperator (king-emperor)) and became George R) while others claim (less plausibly) that in a sense it endured until Hong Kong was handed back to China in 1997.  Nobody claims that still holding the Falkland Islands an empire makes.

Always a civilizing project, the Roman Empire stopped short of Ireland and Scotland.  One has to draw the line somewhere.

Despite the modern habit, etymologically, empire was never restricted to "territory ruled by an emperor" but has been used that way for so long a meaning-shift may have happened.  In political theory, an empire is an aggregate of conquered, colonized, or confederated states, each with its own government subordinate or tributary to that of the empire as a whole but history is replete with accidents and anomalies.  Japan’s head of state is an emperor although no empire exists and the most often quoted remark about the Holy Roman Empire has long been Voltaire’s bon mot that it was "...not holy, nor Roman, nor an empire".

Long pre-dating the era, the empire-line (sometimes called empire-silhouette) dress is most associated with the French First Empire (which lasted from 1804 when Napoleon Bonaparte crowned himself Emperor, to his final defeat at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815) and although the look endured longer than the political construct, beginning in the 1820s, skirts widened and waistlines lowered to an extent most were no longer identifiable as the style.  The look became linked to the First Empire because it was Napoleon's first Empress, Joséphine de Beauharnais (1763–1814) who popularized it in Europe and there are fashionistas who when speaking of the style, will pronounce it as a quasi-French om-pire.  In England, Emma, Lady Hamilton's ((1765–1815); mistress of Lord Nelson (1758-1805) and muse of the artist George Romney (1734-1802)) adoption of the style was much imitated, the cross-channel exchanges of fashion continuing uninterrupted even when a state of war existed between London and Paris.  The English or American fashions of this time tend respectively to be termed "Regency" (referring to the Regency of the Prince of Wales, 1811-1820) and "Federal" (referring to the decades immediately following the American Revolution).

Gisele Bündchen in Dior empire-line dress, Academy Awards Ceremony, Los Angeles, February 2005.

Empire-line dresses featured a waistline considerably raised above the natural level with skirts which vary from the slim and columnar to the swishy and conical.  In its pure form it was characterized by (1) a columnar silhouette without gathers in front, (2) some fullness over the hips, (3) a concentration of gathers aligned with a wide centre-back bodice panel and (4), a raised waistline which reached usually to just below the bust but (occasionally) as high as the armpits.  Mass-production of the design was possible only because the industrial revolution made available new fabrics and other materials at volume and an attainable cost.  Empire- line proved appealing to women without an ideal figure because, by adjusting the parameters of the various components, a seamstress could flatter a wide variety of body types, disguising and emphasizing as required, able to create also the illusion of greater height. 

The empire-line inherently needs a lot of fabric which offers designers the possibility of using bold patterns, especially florals, which can't be displayed to the same effect in styles with less surface area.

Traditionally, most clothing had relied on the shape of the human body but new forms of corsetry, including strong yet delicate shoulder straps to provide the necessary structural integrity, combined with materials such as mull, a  soft, sheer Indian white muslin, allowed designers to create wearable outfits in which the neoclassical influence was obvious, the silhouette imitating the Classical statutes of Antiquity.  Such constructions had before existed for the rich but they were heavy, hot, rigid, uncomfortable and very expensive.  Sadly, the relative freedom women enjoyed proved short lived, evolving by the 1820s into something less simple and notably more restrictive, the hourglass Victorian styles much more prevalent in high-fashion by the mid-nineteenth century, a trend which lasted until the First World War.  The ideas of empire-line were revived for the less-constricting clothing popular in the 1920s and, although coming and going, it’s never gone away and, being somewhat hippie in its look, gained a new following in the 1960s.

Empire-line wedding dresses (left to right) by Dana Harel, Savannah Miller, Two Birds & LoveShackFancy.  Although the design and structural details differ between these, all four can be reduced to the same mathematics.  The wedding dress business seems to be one part of the industry where blonde models seem not to enjoy their usual natural advantage, photographers preferring dark hair, better to contrast and define the edges of all that white fabric.  

Lindsay Lohan in empire-line dress, Paris, 2011.

Today, empire-line dresses are still often worn and the style gained a new audience from their used in the Mad Men television series, set in upper-middle class US society during the 1960s.  One place where they've long inhabited a stable niche has been the Western wedding dress where the technical aspects of the design, the fitted bodice, high waist, and loose-fitting skirt allow the creation of silhouette that’s flattering and forgiving for a wide range of body shapes, once a genuine selling feature for brides with child who, in less accepting times, wished to conceal the bump.  However, even though the empire- line is almost uniquely  ideal at shifting focus from the waistline, it can be cut in a way to complement the slender, delivering a cinched waist.  In either case, the same mathematics are at work, the goal being to elongate and define and by creating the visual effect of the narrowest point appearing just under the bust, it can either (1) trick viewers into seeing a longer torso, diverting attention from the midriff and hips or (2) emphasise the waistline of the truly slender, making it perfect also for the petite or short.

Acersecomic

Acersecomic (pronounced a-sir-suh-kome-ick)

A person whose hair has never been cut.

1623: From the Classical Latin acersecomēs (a long-haired youth) the word borrowed from the earlier Ancient Greek form ἀκερσεκόµης (with unshorn hair), constructed from komē (the hair of the head (the source of the –comic)) + keirein (to cut short) + the prefix a- (not; without).  The Latin acersecomēs wasn’t a term of derision or disapprobation, merely descriptive, it being common for Roman and Greek youth to wear their hair long until manhood.  Acersecomic appeared in English dictionaries as early as 1656, the second instance noted some thirty years later.  Although of dubious linguistic utility even in seventeenth century English, such entries weren’t uncommon in early English dictionaries as editors trawled through lists of words from antiquity to conjure up something, there being some marketing advantage in being the edition with the most words.  It exists now in a lexicographical twilight zone, its only apparent purpose being to appear as an example of a useless word.

The -comic part of the word is interesting.  It’s from the Ancient Greek komē in one of the senses of coma: a diffuse cloud of gas and dust that surrounds the nucleus of a comet.  From antiquity thus comes the sense of long, flowing hair summoning an image of the comet’s trail in the sky.  The same -comic ending turns up in two terms that are probably more obscure even than acersecomic: acrocomic (having hair at the tip, as in a goat’s beard (acro- translates as “tip”) and xanthocomic (a person with yellow hair), from the Greek xanthos (yellow).

Fifteen year old Skye Merchant was genuinely acersecomic until July 2021 when she had her first haircut, part of her fund-raising efforts for cancer research.  The trimmed locks were donated to cancer patients.

Lindsay Lohan as Rapunzel, The Real Housewives of Disney, Saturday Night Live (SNL), 2012.

In recent interviews, Russian model Olga Naumova didn't make clear if she was truly an acersecomic but did reveal that in infancy her hair was so thin her parents covered her head, usually with a babushka headscarf.  It's obviously since flourished and her luxuriant locks are now 62 inches (1.57 m) long, a distinctive feature she says attracts (1) requests for selfies, (2) compliments, (3) propositions decent & otherwise, (4) public applause (in Thailand), (5) requests for technical advice, usually from women asking about shampoo, conditioner & other product while (6) on-line, men sometimes suggest marriage, often by the expedient of elopement.  Perhaps surprisingly, the Moscow-based model doesn't do "anything extraordinary" to maintain the mane beyond shampoo, conditioner and the odd oil treatment, adding that the impressive length and volume she attributes wholly to the roll of the genetic dice.  Her plaits and braids are an impressive sight.

Olga Naumova in motion.

A possible acersecomic although there is some evidence of at least the odd trim.  These are among the less confronting images at People of Walmart which documents certain aspects of the North American experience in the social media age.  Users seem divided whether People of Walmart is a celebration of DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion), a chronicle of decadence or a condemnation of deviance.

Tatterdemalion

Tatterdemalion (pronounced tat-er-di-meyl-yuhn or tat-er-di-mal-yuhn)

(1) A person in tattered clothing; a shabby person.

(2) Ragged; unkempt or dilapidated.

(3) In fashion, (typically as “a tatterdemalion dress” etc), garments styled deliberately frayed or with constructed tears etc (also described as “distressed” or “destroyed”).

(4) A beggar (archaic).

1600–1610: The original spelling was tatter-de-mallian (the “demalion” rhymed with “Italian” in English pronunciation), the construct thus tatter + -demalion, of uncertain origin although the nineteenth century English lexicographer Ebenezer Cobham Brewer (1810-1897) (remembered still for his marvelous Dictionary of Phrase and Fable (1894) suggested it might be from de maillot (shirt) which does seem compelling.  Rather than the source, tatter is thought to have been a back-formation from tattered, from the Middle English tatered & tatird, from the Old Norse tǫturr.  Originally, it was derived from the noun, but it was later re-analysed as a past participle (the construct being tatter +‎ -ed) and from this came the verb.  As a noun a tatter was "a shred of torn cloth or an individual item of torn and ragged clothing" while the verb implied both (as a transitive) "to destroy an article of clothing by shredding" & (as an intransitive) "to fall into tatters".

In parallel, there was also the parallel "tat", borrowed under the Raj from the Hindi टाट (ṭāṭ) (thick canvas) and in English it assumed a variety of meanings including as a clipping of tattoo, as an onomatopoeia referencing the sound made by dice when rolled on a table (and came to be used especially of a loaded die) and as an expression of disapprobation meaning “cheap and vulgar”, either in the context of low-quality goods or sleazy conduct.  The link with "tatty" in the sense of “shabby or ragged clothing” however apparently comes from tat as a clipping of the tatty, a woven mat or screen of gunny cloth made from the fibre of the Corchorus olitorius (jute plant) and noted for it loose, scruffy-looking weave.  Tatterdemalion is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is tatterdemalions.  The historic synonyms were shoddy, battered, broken, dilapidated, frayed, frazzled, moth-eaten, ragged, raggedy, ripped, ramshackle, rugged, scraggy, seedy, shabby, shaggy, threadbare, torn & unkempt and in the context of the modern fashion industry, distressed & destroyed.  An individual could also be described as a tramp, a ragamuffin, a vagabond, a vagrant, a gypsy or even a slum, some of those term reflecting class and ethnic prejudice or stereotypes.  Historically, tatterdemalion was also a name for a beggar.

A similar word in Yiddish was שמאַטע‎ (shmate or shmatte and spelled variously as schmatte, schmata, schmatta, schmate, schmutter & shmatta), from the Polish szmata, of uncertain origin but possibly from szmat (a fair amount).  In the Yiddish (and as adopted in Yinglish) it meant (1) a rag, (2) a piece of old clothing & (3) in the slang of the clothing trade, any item of clothing.  That was much more specific than the Polish szmata which meant literally "rag or old, ripped piece of cloth" but was used also figuratively to mean "publication of low journalistic standard" (ie analogous the English slang use of "rag") and in slang to refer to a woman of loose virtue (used as skank, slut et al might be used in English), a sense which transferred to colloquial use in sport to mean "simple shot", "easy goal" etc.

Designer distress: Lindsay Lohan illustrates the look.

Tatterdemalion is certainly a spectrum condition (the comparative “more tatterdemalion”; the superlative “most tatterdemalion”) and this is well illustrated by the adoption of the concept by fashionistas, modern capitalism soon there to supply the demand.  In the fashion business, tatterdemalion needs to walk a fine line because tattiness was historically associated with poverty while designers need to provide garments which convey a message wealth.  The general terms for such garments is “distressed” although “destroyed” is also used.

Dolce & Gabbana Distressed Jeans (part number FTCGGDG8ET8S9001), US$1150.

It seemed to start with denim and before distressed was a thing, manufacturers had dabbled with producing jeans which even when new gave the appearance of having been “broken in” by the wearer, the quasi-vintage look of “fade & age” achieved with processes such as stone washing, enzyme washing, acid washing, sandblasting, emerizing, and micro-sanding.  Still, this was just to create an effect, the fabrics not ripped or torn.  Distressed jeans represented the next step in the normal process of wear, fraying hems and seams, irregular fading and rips & tears now part of the aesthetic.  As an industrial process that’s not all that difficult to do but if done in the wrong way it won’t resemble exactly a pair of jeans in which the tatterdemalion is a product of gradual degradation, because different legs would have worn the denim at different places.  In the 2010s, the look spread to T-shirts and (predictably) hoodies, some manufactures going beyond vermillistude to actual authenticity, achieving the desire decorative by shooting shirts with bullets, managing a look which presumably the usual tricks of “nibbling & slashing” couldn’t quite emulate.  Warming to the idea, the Japanese label Zoo released jeans made from material torn by lions and tigers, the company anxious to mention the big cats in Tokyo Zoo seemed to "enjoy the fun".  Others emulated the working-class look, the “caked-on muddy coating: and “oil and grease smears” another (apparently short-lived) look.  All these looks had of course been seen for centuries, worn mostly by the poor with little choice but to eke a little more wear from their shabby clothes but in the 1960s, as wealth overtook Western society, the look was adopted by many with disposable income; firstly the bohemians as a display of contempt for consumerist culture and later the punk movement which needed motifs with some capacity to shock, something harder to achieve than had once been the case.

Distressed top and bottom.  Gigi Hadid in distressed T-shirt and "boyfriend" jeans.

For poets and punks, improvising the look from the stocks of thrift shops, that was fine but for designer labels selling scruffy-looking jeans for four-figure sums, it was more of a challenge, especially as the social media generation had discovered that above all they liked authenticity and faux authenticity would not do, nobody wanting to look it to look they were trying too hard.  The might have seemed a problem, given the look was inherently fake but the aesthetic didn’t matter for its own sake, all that had to be denoted was “conspicuous consumption” (the excessive spending on wasteful goods as proof of wealth) and the juxtaposition of thousand dollar distressed jeans with the odd expensive accessory, achieved that and more, the discontinuities offering irony as a look.  The labels, the prominence of which remained a focus was enough for the message to work although one does wonder if any of the majors have been tempted to print a QR code on the back pocket, linked to the RRP (recommended retail price) because, what people are really trying to say is “My jeans cost US$1200”.

1962 AC Shelby Cobra (CSX2000), interior detail, 2016.

The value of selective scruffiness is well known in other fields.  When selling a car a tatty interior will usually greatly depress the price (sometimes by more even than the cost of rectification).  However, if the tattiness is of some historic significance, it can add to car’s value, the best example being if the deterioration is part of the vehicles provenance and proof of originality, a prized attribute to the segment of the collector market known as the “originally police”.  In 2016, the very first AC Shelby Cobra (CSX 2000) sold for US$13.75 million, becoming the most expensive American car sold at auction.  Built in 1962, it was shipped to the US as an AC Ace (without an engine although it apparently wasn't AC's original "proof-of-concept" test bed which was fitted with one of the short-lived 221 cubic inch (3.6 litre) versions of Ford's new "thin-wall" Windsor V8) where the Shelby operation installed a 260 cubic inch (4.2 litre) Windsor and the rest is history.  The tatterdemalion state of the interior was advertised as one of the features of the car, confirming its status as “an untouched survivor”.  Among Cobra collectors, wear caused by Carroll Shelby's (1923–2012) butt is the most valuable tatterdemalion.

Just a scratch: Juan Manuel Fangio, Mercedes-Benz W196 Streamliner, British Grand Prix, Silverstone, 1954.

Also recommended to be repaired before sale are dents, anything battered unlikely to attract a premium.  However, if a dent was put there by a Formula One world champion, it becomes a historic artefact.  In 1954, Mercedes-Benz astounded all when their new grand prix car (the W196R) appeared with all-enveloping bodywork, allowed because of a since closed loophole in the rule-book.  The sensuous shape made the rest of the field look antiquated although underneath it was a curious mix of old and new, the fuel-injection and desmodromic valve train representing cutting edge technology while the swing axles and drum brakes spoke to the past and present, the engineers’ beloved straight-eight configuration definitely the end of an era.  On fast tracks like Monza, the aerodynamic bodywork delivered great speed and stability but the limitations were exposed when the team fielded “the streamliner” at tighter circuits and in the 1954 British Grand Prix at Silverstone, Juan Manuel Fangio (1911–1995; winner of five world-championships) managed to clout a couple of oil-drums (that how track safety was then done in F1) because it was so much harder to determine the extremities without being able to see the front wheels.  Quickly, the factory concocted a functional (though visually unremarkable) open-wheel version and the sleek original was thereafter used only on the circuits where the highest speeds were achieved.  In 1954, the factory wasn’t concerned with maintaining originality and repaired the tatterdemalion W196 so an artefact was lost.

1966 Ferrari 330 GTC (1966-1968) restored by Bell Sport & Classic.  Many restored Ferraris of the pre-1973 era are finished to a much higher standard than when they left the showroom.  Despite this, genuine, original "survivors" (warts and all) are sought after in some circles.

In the collector car industry, tatterdemalion is definitely a spectrum condition and for decades the matter of patina versus perfection has been debated.  There was once the idea that in Europe the preference was for a vehicle to appear naturally aged ( well-maintained but showing the wear of decades) while the US market leaned towards cars restored to the point of being as good (or better) than they were on the showroom floor.  Social anthropologists might have some fun exploring that perception of difference and it was certainly never a universal rule but the debate continues, as does the argument about “improving” on the original.  Some of the most fancied machinery of the 1950s and 1960s (notably Jaguars, Ferraris and Maseratis) is now a staple of the restoration business but, although when new the machines looked gorgeous, it wasn’t necessary to dig too deep to find often shoddy standards of finish, the practice at the time something like sweeping the dirt “under the rug”.  When "restored" many of these cars are re=built to a higher standard, what was often left rough now smoothed to perfection.  That’s what some customers want and the finest restoration shops can do either and there are questions about whether what might be described as “fake patina” is quite the done thing.  Mechanics and engineers who were part of building Ferraris in the 1960s, upon looking at some immaculately “restored” cars have been known wryly to remark: “that wasn't how we built them then.” 

Gucci offered Distressed Tights at US$190 (for a pair so quite good value).  Rapidly, they sold-out.

The fake patina business however goes back quite a way.  Among antique dealers, it’s now a definite niche but from the point at which the industrial revolution began to create a new moneyed class of mine and factory owners, there was a subset of the new money (and there are cynics who suggest it was mostly at the prodding of their wives) who wished to seem more like old money and a trend began to seek out “aged” furniture with which a man might deck out his (newly acquired) house to look as if things had been in the family for generations.  The notoriously snobbish (and amusing diarist) Alan Clark (1928–1999) once referred to someone as looking like “they had to buy their own chairs”, prompting one aristocrat to respond: “That’s a bit much from someone whose father (the art historian and life peer Kenneth Clark (1903–1983)) had to buy his own castle.”  The old money were of course snooty about the folk David Lloyd George (1863–1945; UK prime-minister 1916-1922) would call “jumped-up grocers”.

Oracle

Oracle (pronounced awr-uh-kuhl)

(1) As used especially in reference to Ancient Greece, an utterance, often ambiguous or obscure, given by a priest or priestess at a shrine as the response of a god to an inquiry.

(2)  The agency or medium giving such responses.

(3) A shrine or place at which such responses were given (classically the oracle of Apollo at Delphi).

(4) A person who delivers authoritative, wise, or highly regarded and influential pronouncements.

(5) A divine communication or revelation; a prophecy, often obscure or allegorical, revealed through the medium of a priest or priestess at the shrine of a god

(6) Any person or thing serving as an agency of divine communication.

(7) Any utterance made or received as authoritative, extremely wise, or infallible.

(8) The English translation for The Holy of Holies, the term in the Hebrew Bible which refers to the inner sanctuary of the Tabernacle where God's presence appeared.

(9) In computer science theory, a theoretical entity capable of answering some collection of questions.

1350–1400: From the Middle English oracle (a message from a god expressed by divine inspiration through a priest or priestess (in answer to a human inquiry, usually respecting some future event)) via the twelfth century Old French oracle (temple, house of prayer; oracle) from the Latin ōrāclum & ōrāculum (divine announcement, oracle; place where oracles are given), the construct being ōrare (to pray to, plead to, beseech (from which Modern English gained orator)) + the instrumental suffix -culo- (as -culum (a re-bracketing of diminutive suffix -lus on nouns ending in -cus, used freely in Latin)).  Ōrāculum was the alternative form with similar forms also in Hittite where it meant either “to worship; revere” or “to consult an oracle”.  In Attic Greek the equivalent was ἀρά (ará) (prayer) and in the Sanskrit it was आर्यन्ति (āryanti) (praise).  Ōrō is from the primitive Indo-European hzer- (to pronounce a ritual). The diminutive suffix culum was from -culus, from the Proto-Italic -klom, from the primitive Indo-European -tlom, from -trom.  Interestingly there is stabulum which comes from a similar suffix (-dhlom) but, despite the resemblance, osculum (which is never found in the form osclum) and other diminutive nouns do not contain this suffix.  Oracle is a noun & verb, oracularity is a noun and oracular is an adjective; the noun plural is oracles.

The dualism of the oracle as (1) the agency or medium of a god and (2) the place where such divine utterances were given dates from antiquity and was another of those things which wasn't always appreciated by Medieval translators which accounts for some of the misleading documents (presumably the work of more than one scribe) in which the senses shift which in some way anticipated (however inadvertently) Marshall McLuhan's (1911–1980) distinctly twentieth century construct of "the medium is the message" the influential phrase from his Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man (1964).  The notion of the oracle as a physical place entered English in the early fifteenth century, the extended sense of "uncommonly wise person" developed by the 1590s.  The adjective oracular (of or pertaining to, or of the nature of, an oracle or oracles) emerged in the 1670s, the construct being from the Latin ōrāculum (see oracle) + -ar ((from the Latin -āris (of, pertaining to) and was appended to nouns to create adjectives).  The now extinct (although it has of course been seen in the odd literary novel) was oraculous, dating from the 1610s.

The GHD Oracle

Claimed by the GHD corporation (it really is an initialism of Good Hair Day) to have taken six years and absorbed some Stg£5.2 million (US$6.3m) in research & development (R&D), the Oracle styling tool was in 2019 simultaneously launched with the Platinum+, an upgrade of the Platinum styler, first introduced in 2015.  The Platinum+ was an evolution from its predecessor, featuring enhanced heat management to maintain a hair-safe temperature and new sensors which recognise the thickness of hair, the section size and the speed at which hair is passing through, adjusting the power to suit.  Importantly, the Platinum can be used in exactly the same way as previous GHD stylers.

The Oracle is different in both design and use, featuring a U-shaped clamp, with one cooling plate on top and ceramic heater plates on each arm to maintain the temperature at 365˚F (185˚C), the innovation in the heated hair being cooled before leaving the styler which GHD said helps set curls in place.  However, the design does demand a different technique in use because there's a defined “curl-zone” and the positioning of the hair in relation to this space is critical: the Oracle must exactly be positioned.  GHD’s manual instructs that to achieve what they describe as zig-zaggy, energetic, beachy curls, the styler needs first to be vertically adjacent to the head, then turned 90˚, then, with the logo facing outwards, moved in a gentle gliding action along the hair at a 45˚ angle.  Given the dexterity demanded, perhaps unsurprisingly, users in GHD’s test-labs reported the right-handed found the right-side easier to style, left-handers preferring the left.  Using the Oracle does necessitate movements of wrists and arms very different from those used with GHD’s traditional products.

For this reason, the Oracle is available only in hair salons with the purchase price  including an instructional session from a stylist.

Suspected GHD Oracle user Lindsay Lohan who over the years has done more with her hair than most.