Taciturn

Taciturn (pronounced tas-i-turn)

(1) Inclined to silence; reserved in speech; reluctant to join in conversation.

(2) Dour, stern, reticent, quiet and silent in expression and manner.

1765-1775: A back formation from taciturnity (a tendency habitually to be silent; reserved in speech) or from the fifteenth century French taciturne, from the Latin taciturnus (not talkative; noiseless, quiet, maintaining silence), from tacitus (silent) & tacēre (to be silent).  The Modern French form is taciturne (feminine taciturna, masculine plural taciturns, feminine plural taciturnes).  Taciturn is an adjective, taciturnity is a noun and taciturnly is an adverb; the noun plural is taciturnities.

Silent Cal

Not all US presidents have been as voluble as Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021): Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933; US president 1923-1929) was famously taciturn and widely known as silent Cal.  When news of his death was announced, Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) is said to have remarked, "How can they tell?"  Still, when he did speak, what he said could be pithy.  Having unexpectedly been chosen by the Republican National Convention as Warren Harding's (1865–1923; US president 1921-1923) running mate in 1920, he assumed the presidency upon Harding death and in 1924 declined to nominate his own running mate, again leaving it to the convention on that basis that in 1920 they'd "...picked a durned good man".  At one dinner he was seated next to a woman who told him she'd made a bet with her friend who'd told her she'd not be able to get more than two words from him  He answered: "You lose" and returned to his soup.

Silent Cal, silent (left) and listening (right).  The White House was an early adopter of the telephone, the first device installed in the telegraph room in 1877 during the administration of Rutherford Hayes (1822–1893; US president 1877-1881).  The handset was moved to the Oval Office during his presidency.

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December, 2011.

There is some some support for Silent Cal's approach; in politics, it’s been observed more men talked themselves into trouble than ever talked their way out.  Perhaps the exemplar was a certain Mr WM Jack, the member for North Sydney in the Australian parliament between 1949-1966.  A rarity among talkative politicians, during his long and undistinguished career he became known as “the silent one”, in seventeen years delivering five speeches, one of which was “I move that the motion be put”.  It’s not known if William Shakespeare's (1564–1616) Polonius (from Hamlet (circa 1600)) was in his mind when he began his penultimate address to the house with the words “I can remain silent no longer”.  His constituents rewarded his taciturnity: he retired undefeated having increased his majority on most of the six occasions he sought re-election and in gratitude, in the New Year Honours List (1968) he was appointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) for services to the parliament and the community.  Of course, if one has no need to seek votes, one may with few restraints tend to the loquacious.  Fidel Castro (1926–2016; leader of Cuba 1959-2011) delivered infamously long speeches, his address to the 872nd plenary meeting of the General Assembly of the United Nations (UN) on 26 September 1960 lasting 4 hours & 29 minutes, a record which still stands.  Given the United Nations (UN) General Assembly vies with the European Parliament for the title of the world’s most pointless deliberative body, it’s not impossible the record will one day be broken.

Alexithymia

Alexithymia (pronounced ey-lek-suh-thahy-mee-uh)

In psychiatry, a range of behaviors associated with certain conditions which manifests as a difficulty in experiencing, processing, expressing and describing emotional responses.

1973: The construct was the Ancient Greek a- (not) + λέξις (léxis) (speaking) + θυμός (thumós) (heart (in the sense of “soul”)) which deconstructs as a- +‎ lexi +‎ -thymia (in a medical context a suffix meaning “one’s state of mind”), alexithymia thus understood as “without words for emotions”.  Alexithymia is a noun and alexithymic & alexithymiac are nouns & adjectives; the noun plural of alexithymia is also alexithymia but alexithymics, the plural of alexithymic is the more common form.

The word alexithymia was in 1973 coined by US based psychiatrists John Nemiah (1918–2009) and Peter Sifneos (1920-2008) to describe a psychological state as well known to the general population as the profession, the former preferring terms “emotionless”, “taciturn”, “feelingless” or “impassive” although alexithymia has meanings which are more specific.  Translated literally as “no words for emotions”, in practice it’s a spectrum condition which references individual degrees of difficulty in recognizing, processing or expressing emotional states or experiences.  Although it appears in both the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and the World Health Organization’s (WHO) International Classification of Diseases (ICD), neither class it as either a diagnosable mental disorder or a symptom.  Instead, it should be regarded as a dimensional construct and one distributed normally in the general population.  In other words it’s a personality trait and like all spectrum conditions, it varies in frequency and intensity between individuals.

Alexithymia was first described as a psychological construct characterized by difficulties in identifying, describing, and interpreting one's emotions but it was soon realized individuals less able to recognize and express their own feelings would often have a diminished ability to understand the emotional experiences of others.  Clinically, alexithymia is classified in two sub-groups: (1) Primary (or Trait) Alexithymia is considered more stable and enduring and the evidence suggests there is often a genetic or developmental basis, those with primary alexithymia displaying indications from an early age.  (2) Secondary (or State) Alexithymia is something usually temporary and often associated with specific psychological or medical conditions, noted especially in patients suffering post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depressive illnesses.

Available for both Android and iOS, there are Alexithymia apps and it's possible there are those who wish to increase the extent of at least some aspects of the condition in their own lives, the apps presumably a helpful tool in monitoring progress in either direction.  There must be emos who would like to be more alexithymic. 

The characteristics common to alexithymia include (1) a limited imaginative capacity and “fantasy life”, (2) a difficulty in identifying and describing emotions, (3) thought processes which focus predominately on external events rather than internal emotional experience, (3) a difficulty in distinguishing between emotions and bodily sensations and (4) challenges in understanding (or even recognizing) the emotions of others.  As a spectrum condition, alexithymia greatly can vary in severity, and not all with alexithymia will experience the same symptoms with there being a high instance reported among patients with psychiatric and psychosomatic disorders.  Additionally, it does seem a common feature of neurological disease with most evidence available for patients with traumatic brain injury, stroke, and epilepsy although the numbers may be slanted because of the greater volume of study of those affected and it remains unclear how independent it is from affective disorders such as depression and anxiety, both common in neurological conditions.

A sample from the validation study of the Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-26) (in the Croatian population).

Clinicians have available a number of questionnaires which can be use to assess a patient’s state of alexithymia and these can do more than provide a metric; the limitation of drawing a conclusion from observation alone is that with such an approach it can genuinely be impossible to distinguish between the truly alexithymic and those who have no difficulties in experiencing, processing, expressing and describing emotional responses but for some reason choose not to.  Such behavior can of course induce problems in inter-personal relationships but it’s something distinct from alexithymia and importantly too, it is clinically distinct from psychiatric personality disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder.  However, as a structural view of the DSM over the seventy-odd years would indicate, within psychiatry, mission creep has been a growing phenomenon and the definitional nets tend to be cast wide and wider and it’s not impossible that alexithymia may in some future edition be re-classified as a diagnostic criterion or at least recognized formally as a symptom.  It has for some time been acknowledged the DSM has over those decades documented the reassessment of some aspects of the human condition as mental disorders but what is less discussed is the relationship between cause and effect and there will be examples of both: it would be interesting to try to work out if there’s a pattern in the nature of (1) the changes the DSM has driven compare with (2) those which retrospectively have been codified.

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011,

There may be movement because alexithymia has many of the qualities and attributes which appeal to both academia and the pharmaceutical industry.  The orthodoxy is that it occurs in some 10% of the general population but is disproportionately seen in patients suffering certain mental conditions, notably neuro-developmental disorders; the prevalence among those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) estimated at anything up to 90%.  What will probably surprise few is that within any sub-group, it is males who are by far the most represented population and there is even the condition normative male alexithymia (NMA) although that describes the behavior and not the catchment, NMA identified also in females.

Soiree

Soiree (pronounced swah-rey)

(1) An evening party or social gathering.

(2) Used loosely, a party or social gathering held at any time.

1793: from the French soirée (evening activity), the construct being the tenth century Old French soir (evening; night (from the Latin adverb sērō (late; at a late hour) which originally was an ablative of sērus) from sērum (a late time), from sērus (late), from the primitive Indo-European se-ro- (a suffixed form of the root se- (long, late) and the source also of the Sanskrit sayam (in the evening), the Lithuanian sietuva (deep place in a river), the Old English sið (after), the German seit (since), the Gothic seiþus (late), the Middle Irish sith and the Middle Breton hir (long)) + -ée (from the Latin –āta (feminine of –ātus) (the –ate suffix in English).  In French, the feminine suffix –ée was joined to nouns to make nouns expressing the quantity contained in the original noun and thus also relations of times (journée, matinée, année et al) or objects produced.  There was also the nineteenth century swarry, a coining for jocular effect representing the English pronunciation.  The suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate & senate).  Those that came to English via French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or later to indicate the long vowel.  It can also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as desolate, moderate & separate).  Again, often they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after circa 1400; a doublet of –ee.  In German the spelling is Soirée (plural Soiréen), the synonym being Abendgesellschaft (party held in the evening).  In English, the French soirée is now listed by most sources as an alternative spelling (a la café & cafe).  Soiree is a noun; the noun plural is plural soirees.

In English, strictly speaking, because of the origin in French (soir (evening) familiar in the greeting bon soir (good evening, a time specific way of saying “hello”)), a soiree is a social gathering held in the evening but it has long been used loosely and there have been many soirees held early in the day.  It can be debated whether there’s now an additional meaning (social gathering) or the real meaning is just being ignored but the word is certainly something of a middle-class favourite and it’s not unknown to receive an invitation to an “evening soiree” or “night time soiree” which may be tautological but the meaning shift is probably here to say.  The word is also used with modifiers to make the nature of an event clear (musical soiree; boho soiree, élite soiree; jubilee soiree; birthday soiree etc).

The successful soiree

Some etiquette guides devote entire chapters to the tricks and techniques which make a soiree a success, focusing on food, settings, surroundings and the guest list (who sits next to whom something of an art) and the most structured and demanding event is probably that classic of evening entertaining: the dinner party.  The catering arrangements obviously are critical but the consideration of other matters is also a minor linguistic feast: 

It’s best to avoid inviting the malesuete (“accustomed to poor habits”, an archaic adjective from the Latin malesuētus, the construct being male (badly; poorly) + suētus (past participle of suēscere (to become accustomed; to be used to)) because they tend to be “unaccustomed to good behaviour” and thus won’t fit in.  That doesn’t mean they’re ostracized by all because in their circles (composed of other other malesuete types) there are also soirees for them to enjoy.  Should there be some sort of filing error and a malesuete guest is at the table, all one can hope is that there’s only one of them because in pairs they’ll almost always constult (“to act stupidly together”, a verb from the Latin constult, the construct being con- (together) + stultus (foolish; fool)); they will encourage each other.  However, even the usually well-mannered can become malesuetesque when peloothered (“drunk, thoroughly intoxicated”, an adjective coined by James Joyce (1882–1941), possibly from Hiberno-English as a humorous dialectal corruption of blootered (“drunk”, an informal term in Scots English also meaning or polluted) so if possible research the effect of strong drink on potential invitees.  A caution like “drinks like a fish” need not of necessity mean someone must be chucked because there are amiable and amusing drunks but they may only make it to the reserve (last resort) list.

Deipnosophistry in practice: Lindsay Lohan at the Fox News table, White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner, a soiree at which there is much table talk, Washington DC, April 2012. 

Among the most desirable of those for a dinner party are deipnosophists (“those noted for their sparkling dinner-table conversation”, a noun from the Ancient Greek Δειπνοσοφισταί (Deipnosophistaí), the title of a literary work in fifteen volumes (translated usually as something like “philosophers at their dinner table”) by the third century scholar Athenaeus of Naucratis, describing learned discussions at a banquet, the construct being δειπνο- (deipno-) (meal) + σοφιστής (sophistḗs).  The plural of sophistḗs was sophistaí and the sense used by Athenaeus was one of “wise men knowledgeable in matters of art & science”.  A deipnosophist will never raise matters nefandous (“too odious to be spoken of”, an adjective from Latin nefandus, the construct being from ne- (in the sense of “not”) + fandus, gerundive of fārī (to speak) ao while they may think the unthinkable they’ll never speak the unspeakable.  If there is a guest who is particularly sensitive about some topic which usually is innocuous, it’s acceptable (and often advisable) quietly to advise to the others the matter is tacenda (“a thing not to be mentioned; a subject to be passed over in silence”, a noun from the Latin tacenda, future passive participle of taceo (to be silent, say nothing, to hold one's tongue).

Because of the physical layout of a dinner party (gathered together closely around a table) it’s not possible for a shy guest actually to latibulate (“to retreat and hide oneself in a corner”, a verb from the Latin, the construct being latibulum (hiding place) +‎ -ate (the verb-forming suffix), from lateō (to lie hidden) +‎ -bulum (the nominal suffix denoting instrument)) but there can be some (even the usually talkative) who for whatever reason become on the night taciturn (“tendency habitually to be silent”, a noun ultimately from the fifteenth century French taciturne, from the Latin taciturnus (not talkative; noiseless, quiet, maintaining silence), from tacitus (silent) & tacēre (to be silent).  Tempting though it is to ply them with alcohol (which can “loosen the tongue”), that’s a tactic not without risk and it’s recommended that if possible, a pretext is found to change the seating plan, re-allocating them a spot next to someone they might find more convivial.  At a small table, this will likely have no effect.  If on a second occasion a guest’s taciturnity is noted as truly as habitual, it may be they are deipnophobic (one who suffers the social anxiety deipnophobia (fear of eating in public)); don’t invite them again.

Advesperate: A set table, ready for a soiree.  The construct of advesperate (to draw towards evening) was the Latin ad- (to) + vesper. (evening; the evening meal) from the Proto-Italic wesperos, from the primitive Indo-European wek-w-speros, the cognates including the Ancient Greek ἕσπερος (hésperos), the Old Church Slavonic вєчєръ (večerŭ) and the Old Armenian գիշեր (gišer).  In the liturgical orders of Christianity (and always in the plural "vespers"), it's the sixth of the seven canonical hours (an evening prayer service).

There are also those who may be good conversationalists but exhibit some bad habits which are not good to display at dinner parties (although many are close to obligatory at the beer & bourbon soaked malesuete soirees).  They may obganiate (“to cause irritation by reiteration” (ie to annoy by repeating over and over and over and over…”, a verb from the Italian ostinato (obstinate, persistent), a variant of which is the act of epizeuxis (“the repetition of a word with vehemence and emphasis”, a noun from the Modern Latin epizeuxis, from the Ancient Greek ἐπίζευξις (epízeuxis) (a fastening upon), from ἐπιζευγνύναι (epizeugnúnai), the construct being ἐπί (epí) (upon) + ζευγνύναι (zeugnúnai) (to yoke).  As a rhetorical technique, an epizeuxis can be an effective way to make a point but at a dinner party it should never be accompanied by a dactylodeiktous gesture (“pointed at with a finger”, an adjective from the Ancient Greek, the construct being δάκτυλος (dáktylos) (finger) + δεικτός (deiktós), from the verb δείκνυμι (deíknumi) (to show; to point out) + -ous (the suffix indicating an adjective or descriptive quality).  When noticing such things, a host should adopt the demeanour of a discountenancer (“one who discourages with cold looks to convey disapproval”, a noun from the French décontenancer, from the Middle French descontenancer).

Not a residentarian: Crooked Hillary Clinton in blue pantsuit leaving (early) the soiree planned to celebrate her victory in the 2016 US presidential election, Manhattan, New York, November 2016.

Also tiresome at such a soiree those who beyelp (loudly to talk of, boast of, glory in”, a verb from the Middle English beyelpen, from the Old English beġielpan (to boast) and tend to speak in rodomontades (vainglorious boasting or bragging; pretentious, bluster”, a noun from the Middle French rodomontade, the construct being the Italian Rodomonte (name of the boastful Saracen king of Algiers in two Italian Renaissance epic poems + the Middle French –ade (the suffix used to form nouns denoting action, or a person performing said action), from the Occitan -ada, from the Latin -ata.  In dialectal Italian the name means literally “one who rolls (away) the mountain” (clipped also to “roll-mountain”).  Fortunately, such types are usually elozable (“readily influenced by flattery”, an archaic adjective coined in the sixteenth century the construct obscure but believed to be elo- (from the Latin eloqui (to speak out) + -zable (a variant of the suffix –able (denoting capability or possibility) with the inserted “z” presumably a phonetic convenience.  To deal with such guests, one may need to heterophemize (“to say something different from what you mean to say”, a verb from the Ancient Greek, the construct being hetero-, from the ἕτερος (heteros) (other; different) +-phem-, from φημί (phēmi) (to speak; to say) + -ize (a suffix conveying the notion of “to make; to do” or “to perform the act of”) which is OK because it’s been done before and at some dinner parties in polite society conversations are conducted with little else.  One will though need eventually to be more direct with the residentarian (“a person who is given to remaining at table”, a modern English noun, the construct being resident +arian (the suffix a back-formation from various words ending in “arian”, some directly derived from Classical or Medieval Latin words ending in -arius by adding “-an” to the stem, other indirectly via Old French words ending in “arien(ne)” or “erien(ne)” or from English words ending in “ary” to which “-an” was suffixed.  It was used to create nouns in the sense of (1) a believer in something, (2) an advocate of something or (3) a native or inhabitant of somewhere.  The next day, when reviewing yesterneve (“yesterday evening”, a noun, the construct being yester(day) + -n- + eve(ning), decide which guest must be chucked (never again to be invited) and which adorned the table and thus to be added to the xenium list (“a gift given to a guest”, a noun from the Latin xenium (a gift given to guests or foreign ambassadors, often of food, in Ancient Greece or Rome), from the  Ancient Greek ξένιον (xénion) from the Ionic.