Bespoke

Bespoke (pronounced bih-spohk)

(1) A simple past tense and past participle of bespeak.

(2) Of clothes, those made to individual order and custom custom-made.

(3) The making or selling such clothes.

(4) By extension, anything (physical or weightless) produced to a customer’s specifications, especially if a one-off creation.

(5) To ask for in advance; to reserve (obsolete).

(6) As bespeak & bespoken, betrothed or engaged to be married; spoken for (obsolete except in the literary novel).

1745–1755: The adjective was a coining in Modern English in the sense of “custom-made goods; made to order (as distinguished from ready-made; an item on the shelf of a shop)” from the late sixteenth century Middle English bespoken, the past-participle adjective from bespeak (in its sense of “arrange beforehand”), a prefixed variant of speak.  The verb bespeak was from the Middle English bispeken, from the Old English besprecan (speak about, speak against, complain), the construct being be- + sprecan (to speak).  A common Germanic compound (the cognates including the Old Saxon bisprecan, the Dutch bespreken, the Old High German bisprehhan and the German besprechen) originally meaning “to call out”, it evolved by the 1580s to enjoy a wide range of meaning in English, including “speak up”, “oppose”, “request”, “discuss”, “arrange” and “order (goods)”.  By virtue of the different application of the be- prefix, the connections between the various meanings of bespoke, bespeaking; bespeak etc are thought at least very loose and it’s clear some arose independently of others.  Bespoke long was used usually of tailored suits and other clothing but in recent decades it has been applied (with some enthusiasm) to products as diverse as a one-off Rolls-Royce and customized hacking software offered on the dark web.  Bespeak was from the Middle English bespeken & bispeken, from the Old English bespecan & besprecan (to speak about, speak against, accuse of, claim at law, complain), from the Proto-Germanic bisprekaną (to discuss, blame), the construct being be- +‎ speak.  It was cognate with the Scots bespeke (to beseech, speak or negotiate with), the West Frisian besprekke (to discuss), the Dutch bespreken (to discuss, review; debate) and the German besprechen (to discuss, review, talk about).  Bespoke & bespoken are verbs & adjectives, bespeak is a noun & verb, bespeaking is a verb, bespeaker & bespokeness are nouns and bespokely is an adverb; the noun plural use is rare.

The be- prefix was from the Middle English be- & bi-, from the Old English be-, from the Proto-Germanic bi- (be-), from the Proto-Germanic bi (near, by), ultimately from the primitive Indo-European hepi (at, near) and cognate with the Saterland Frisian, West Frisian, Dutch, German Low German, German and Swedish be-.  Although there remain in English many relics of its use, (becalmed, beseige et al), the be- prefix has long ceased to be productive.  It was used to modify other forms to create various meanings: (1) By, near, next to, around, close to (beset), (2) Aound; about (belay, bestir, belive), (3) About, regarding, concerning, over (bemoan, bewail), (4) On, upon, at, to, in contact with something (behold, befall), (5) Off, away, over, across (behead, besleeve), (6) As an intensifier (ie thoroughly, excessively; completely; utterly) (belabour, bedazzle), (7) All around; about; abundantly; all over (belick, bescatter), (8) Forming verbs derived from nouns or adjectives, usually with the sense of "to make, become, or cause to be" (becalm, befriend) and (9) Used to intensify adjectives meaning "adorned with something", often those with the suffix -ed (now mostly archaic or informal) (besequined, befeathered, beclawed, beloved).

Artist Louise Duggan (b 1974) delivers the bespoke "mixed-media work" Blue Lips, commissioned by Lindsay Lohan to hang in her villa in Dubai, June 2023.

Bespoke is an uncontroversial word if applied in the way which for centuries mostly it was: clothing custom made for an individual, based on measurements taken prior to the a tailor or seamstress cutting the fabric.  It was used also of the shoes made by cobblers, the gloves sewed by glove makers, the hats created by milliners and so on, all of whom had their own methods of maintaining their customer records, those dealing with body parts which usually didn’t much change able to use the same dimensions for decades; other had to re-measure with some frequency.  In the case of cobblers, for regular customers they would keep a pair of wooden lasts which emulated exactly the shape of the feet.  The synonyms for bespoke in this context included “custom-made”, “customized”, “purpose-built”, “tailored” & “tailor-made” and the traditional antonyms were “off the peg”, “off the rack” & “off the shelf”.  In recent years, “bespoke” has become a marketing term and stuff which is far from unique and in many cases produced in great volume (perhaps with some minor change) is now often labeled “bespoke” and “bespoke solution” is a favorite in the software business, whether it be something to manage a hairdressing salon or code on the dark web supplied by Russian hackers to the DPRK (North Korean) military for enable theft or covert operations.

Because of the way Google harvest it data, their ngrams tracking trends in the use of words aren’t wholly accurate and even the degree of accuracy can’t be assessed but the trend lines are thought vaguely indicative and it appears bespoke came increasingly to be used in the late twentieth century and the rate of increase has shown no signs of subsiding.  That may to some extent be accounted for by Google’s methods or the publications over-represented in its catchment but, impressionistically it seems plausible and in the US, scholars by the 1990s were noting the way bespoke was tending to supplant the traditional American “custom”, apparently because the word had appeal because it conveyed “wealth and prestige” whereas custom had been devalued by its association with things like hotted-up motor cycles.  If bespoke is uncontroversial when used of anything genuinely one-off, the appropriateness when used of anything else needs to be assessed on a case by case basis and because it’s so popular in the business of expensive cars, they provide a good case-studies.

The Maserati 5000 GT (1959-1966)

1959 Maserati 5000 GT (Shah of Iran) by Touring.

Before the Ayatollahs ran Iran, it was ruled by the Shah (king) and he got a lot more fun out of life than his clerical successors, noted especially as a connoisseur and of fast, exotic and expensive cars, his collection including multiple models from Lamborghini, Mercedes-Benz, Rolls-Royce, Ferrari and Maserati among others.  In 1958 he’d driven Maserati’s then popular 3500 GT but thought it lacking in power and, because hundreds a year were sold to the (rich) public, a bit common.  Accordingly, after receiving material advertising both the 3500 GT and the remaining 450S race cars the factory wished to dispose of after withdrawing from racing, the shah decided he wanted a combination of the two, the race engine in the road car.  To have it created, essentially he sent Maserati a blank cheque and asked them to call when it was ready.  Delivered to the shah (Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, 1919-1980) in 1959, it was almost a secret but when a second, commissioned by a South African customer,  was displayed at the 1959 Turin Motor show, it generated such interest that Maserati were soon fielding enquiries from rich commoners wanting what royalty had.  Priced stratospherically however, there weren’t enough rich folk on the planet to make it a viable option for their production lines so it entered the catalogue as a bespoke item, Maserati modifying the 3500 chassis which, frankly had been a bit over-taxed by the big V8 and tweaking the engine still further, slightly increasing the capacity but in a way that rendered it more docile, yet still a howler when stirred.  The chassis appeared in the list and buyers could choose their own coachbuilder and eventually eight produced their own interpretations, the most numerous being by Carrozzeria Allemano which, over the years, finished twenty-two, the Allemano cars thought also the most alluring.

1959 Maserati 5000 GT by Allemano.

So the conclusion must be that the Shah’s original was and remains a true bespoke creation because exclusively it was built for him.  Of the other 33 5000 GTs built, although they were all variations on the theme and mechanically similar, no two were exactly alike and each was built in response to an order from an individual customer, some of whom specified certain touches.  Given that, all probably deserve to be regarded as bespoke though pedants might insist the chassis was a regular production item and only the coachwork was truly bespoke.  Few seem to agree and on the rare occasions the things are offered for sale, they’re almost always described as “bespoke”.

The Rolls-Royce Phantom IV (1950-1956)

1950 Rolls-Royce Phantom IV pick-up truck.

Among collectors, the Phantom IV has quite an allure because it was one of the few cars produced in any number never offered for sale to the general public, only 18 produced and available only to head of state or crowned royalty (a distinction important in royal circles which has its own pecking order).  In a manner similar to the Maserati 5000 GT, no two Phantom IVs were exactly the same although all were built on substantially the same underpinnings (the only Rolls-Royce passenger cars ever to use a straight-8).  Thus all should be though “bespoke” in the context of the industry but there was one version which was radically different, a Phantom IV pick-up truck (ute in Australian parlance) which was used by the factory to ferry various bits and pieces from place to place.  So it’s a genuine one off pick-up truck but because it was just a functional workhorse which existed only because an unsalable prototype chassis was available, it’s never been regarded as something bespoke, the long ago scrapped unique “shop ute” just a historic curiosity.

The Rolls-Royce Phantom V (1959-1968) & Phantom VI (1968-1990)

1973 Rolls-Royce Phantom VI "All Weather Cabriolet" (four-door convertible) by Fura (right) and 1971 Rolls-Royce Phantom VI DHC by Fura (left). 

By comparison with the exclusive Phantom IV, its two successors were almost mass produced, 1206 (832 of the Phantom V & 374 of the VI respectively) crafted over three decades.  In this case, it’s thought only some should be thought truly bespoke because although there were a few variations in the coachwork, many were substantially the same and its only the ones with the greatest differences (notably the odd sedanca de ville, the handful of landaulets or the other “state” cars with their elevated rooflines) which are usually thought “bespoke” and even they weren’t unique things like the Phantom IVs.  Two of the Phantom VI chassis however were indisputably bespoke.  By the 1970s, it was only the big Phantom VI which Rolls-Royce still built on the separate chassis which made bespoke bodies easier to mount so anyone wanting a really exclusive Rolls-Royce had no other choice.  Accordingly the Italian house Fura fashioned two very big bespoke creations, one a drophead coupé (DHC, which by then the rest of the world was calling a cabriolet or convertible), the other described as an "all weather cabriolet" (which eventually was re-fashioned as a four-door convertible).  Both were on a scale not seen since seen since the 1930s and nothing like them has since been attempted.  Because the limousine chassis was designed for something long, narrow and tall, both the Fura cars were fundamentally ill-proportioned although skilled photographers have managed to create pleasing images by selecting just the right angle.  Flawed though they were, at the time there was probably nothing on four wheels which so conveyed disposable wealth which, in many cases, is of course often the essence of the bespoke.  It was a good thing they made such an impression because presumably it dissuaded people from looking too closely: underneath the engineering was pure Phantom VI which meant drum brakes and a rear axle suspended on semi-elliptic (cart) springs so it was (refined) Ford Model T (1908) technology under all that leather and walnut.  Such was the attention to detail those cart spring were encased in leather so those enjoying the seclusion of the rear compartment (trimmed usually in West of England cloth rather than the leather on which the chauffeur sat) weren't disturbed by any squeaks.   

1956 Mercedes-Benz 300c (W186 "Adenauer") Estate Car by Binz.

Consumption can be conspicuous yet still subtle, achieved usually if a bespoke creation is both expensive and functional.  The Mercedes-Benz 300 saloons and four-door cabriolet of (W186 & W189 1951-1962) were large, stately and beautifully built and the platform attracted coachbuilders who saw the potential for estate cars (station wagons), ambulances and (especially) hearses.  Many were built and the hearses in particular typically aren't regarded as bespoke because they were essentially catalogue items with little variation between editions.  Some of the rare estates ("shooting brakes" to the English, "station wagons" in North America and for a time, "station sedans" if built by Holden, General Motors' (GM) Australian outpost) however have always been treated as bespoke even though from an engineering point of view the changes were minimal and the styling hardly imaginative.  The reason for the association seems to be that they “dripped money”; even to the uninformed they were obviously expensive so it seems possible there is the matter of "bespoke by acclamation".  Interestingly, in 1960 the factory did their own one-off 300 Estate, this one a “telemetry car” built in the era before sensors to travel at high speed on a test track, recording data from the vehicle ahead.  Styled in an almost avant-garde manner with rear glass which curved into the roof, the factory regarded it rather as Rolls-Royce treated their pick-up: a mule to be used until something better came along.  They never called it bespoke.

1965 Aston Martin DB5 Shooting Brake.

Sir David Brown (1904–1993) liked his DB5 coupé (which the factory in their English way called a "saloon") but found it too cramped comfortably to accommodate his polo gear, shotguns and hunting dogs.  Now, that would be called a “first world problem” but because Brown then owned Aston Martin, he simply wrote out a work order and had his craftsmen create a bespoke shooting brake (an English term which means “station wagon owned by someone rich”) which they did by hand-forming the aluminum with hammers over wooden formers.  It delighted him and solved his problem but created another because good customers stared writing him letters asking for their own.  Unfortunately, Aston Martin was at full capacity building DB5s and developing the up-coming DB6 and V8 models.  With a bulging order book, the resources didn’t exist to add another niche model so the project was out-sourced to the coachbuilder Radford which built a further 11 (and subsequently another 6 based on the DB6).  That Brown’s original car was bespoke seems clear but the others are a gray area because the coachbuilder’s records and assessments of the cars indicate they were identical in all but the color of the paint and leather trim.  There may have been only 12 DB5s and 6 DB6s but by conventional definition, they came of a production line, albeit a leisurely and exclusive one so can all but the original be thought truly bespoke?  According to the Aston Martin website, they are bespoke so that’s presumably the last word on the subject.

The Smart Fortwo (top left) and some bespoke imaginings.

The happy combination of the internet, Photoshop and a large cohort of gullible viewers some years ago encouraged the creation of a meme purporting to be a survey of the bespoke carbon fibre bodies available to be bolted to the diminutive Smart Fortwo (C451; 2007-2015).  Even a cursory look at the scale of the humans included in some of the photos should have been enough for people to work out this was fake news but the factory is said to have received “some” enquiries asking where the bespoke bodies could be bought.

Hood

Hood (pronounced hood)

(1) A soft or flexible covering for the head and neck, either separate or attached to a cloak, coat and similar garments.

(2) Something resembling or suggestive of such a covering (especially in shape) and used in botany to describe certain petals or sepals.

(3) In North America and other places subject to that linguistic influence, the (usually) hinged, movable part of an automobile body covering the engine (the bonnet in the UK and most of the old British Empire).  Despite geographical spread, the phrase “under the hood” is now close to universal, referring to (1) the engine of an automobile & (2) by extension, the inner workings or technical aspects of anything (a computer’s specifications etc).

(4) In the UK and most of the old British Empire, the roof of a carriage or automobile, able to be lowered or removed (ie on a convertible, cabriolet, roadster, drophead coupé (DHC) et al).  In North America and other places subject to that linguistic influence such things tend variously to be called soft-tops or convertible tops.

(5) A metal cover or canopy for a stove, fitted usually with a ventilation system (a flue or extractor fan).

(6) In falconry, a cover for the entire head of a hawk or other bird, used when not in pursuit of game.

(7) On academic gowns, judicial robes etc, an ornamental ruffle or fold on the back of the shoulders (in ecclesiastical garments, and in cults such as the Freemasons, also used as a mark of one’s place in the hierarchy).

(8) In nautical use, as hooding ends, one of the endmost planks (or, one of the ends of the planks) in a ship’s bottom at bow or stern which fits into the stem and sternpost rabbets.  When fitted into a rabbet, these resemble a hood (covering).

(9) In zoology, a crest or band of color on the head of certain birds and other animals (such as the fold of skin on the head of a cobra, that covers or appears to cover the head or some similar part).

(10) In anatomy (the human hand), over the extensor digitorum, an expansion of the extensor tendon over the metacarpophalangeal joint (the extensor hood (dorsal hood or lateral hood).

(11) In colloquial use in palaeontology, the osseous or cartilaginous marginal extension behind the back of many dinosaurs (also known as the “frill”).

(12) As the suffix –hood, a native English suffix denoting state, condition, character, nature, etc, or a body of persons of a particular character or class, formerly used in the formation of nouns: childhood; likelihood; knighthood; priesthood and of lad appended as required (Twitterhood, Instahood etc, subsets of Twitterverse & Instaverse respectively).

(13) In slang, a clipping of hoodlum.

(14) In slang, a clipping of neighborhood, especially an urban neighborhood inhabited predominantly by African Americans of low socioeconomic status (a part of African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and adopted also by LatinX) although use in these communities does now transcend economic status.

(15) To furnish with or fit a hood; to cover with or as if with a hood.

(16) In medieval armor, a range of protective cloakings or coverings

Pre 900: From the Middle English hode, hod, hude, hudde & hoode (hoodes apparently the most common plural), from the Old English hōd, from the Proto-Germanic hōdaz, (related to the Old High German huot (hat), the Middle Dutch hoet and the Latin cassis helmet) and cognate with the Saterland Frisian Houd, the Old Frisian hōde, the West Frisian & Dutch hoed, the Proto-Iranian xawdaH (hat), the German Low German Hood and the German Hut (hat).  The Old English hād was cognate with German –heit and was a special use used to convey qualities such as order, quality, rank (the sense surviving academic, judicial & ecclesiastical garments).  The ultimate source is uncertain but most etymologists seem to support the primitive Indo-European kad & kadh (to cover).  Hood is modified as required (chemical hood, clitoral hood, un-hood, de-hood, fume hood, hood-shy, hood unit, hoodwink, range hood, riding hood etc) and something thought hood-shaped is sometimes described as cuculliform.  Hood is a noun & verb, hooded & hooding are verbs, hoodless hoodesque & hoodlike are adjectives; the noun plural is hoods.

Hooded: Lindsay Lohan in hoodie, JFK Airport, New York City, NYC April 2013. The bag is a Goyard Saint Louis Tote (coated canvas in black).

Hood as clipping of hoodlum (gangster, thug, criminal etc) dates from the late 1920s and would influence the later use of “hoodie” as a slur to refer to those wearing the garment of the same name, the inference being it was worn with nefarious intent (concealing identity, hiding from CCTV etc.  Hood as a clipping of neighborhood (originally especially an urban (inner-city) neighborhood inhabited predominantly by African Americans of low socio-economic status) dates from circa 1965 and became part of African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and was adopted also by LatinX) although use in all communities does now transcend economic status.  It was an alternative to ghetto (a word with a very different tradition) and encapsulated both the negative (crime, violence, poverty) & positive (group identity, sense of community) aspects of the low-income inner city experience.  Although a part of AAVE, it never formed part of Ebonics because its meaning was obvious and, to an extent, integrated into general US vernacular English.  The phrase “all good in the hood” is an example of the use of the clipping.

Blu-Ray & DVD package art for Red Riding Hood (2006).  In US use, "alternate" seems to have been accepted as a synonym for "alternative".  Few seem to mind.

The verb hood in the sense of “to put a hood” & “to furnish with a hood” on dates from circa 1400 while although hooded & hooding aren’t attested until decades later, it’s possible the use emerged at much the same time.  The Old English hod was typically "a soft covering for the head" which extended usually over the back of the neck but only in some cases did it (permanently or ad-hoc) attach to some other garment.  The modern spelling emerged early in the fifteenth century and indicated a “long vowel” although that pronunciation is long extinct.  The word was picked up in medicine, botany & zoology in the seventeenth century while the use to describe the “foldable or removable covers on a carriage which protects the occupants from the elements” was documented since 1826 and that was used in a similar context by the manufacturers of prams and baby-carriages by at least 1866.  The meaning “hinged cover for an automobile engine” was in use in the US by 1905 while across the Atlantic, the British stuck to “bonnet”.  The fairy tale (some read it as a cautionary tale) Little Red Riding Hood (1729) was a translation of Charles Perrault's (1628-1703) Petit Chaperon Rouge which appeared in his book Contes du Temps Passé (Stories or Tales from Past Times (1697)).

The suffix -hood (a word-forming element meaning “state or condition of being”) was an evolution of the Old English -had (condition, quality, position) which was used to construct forms such as cildhad (childhood), preosthad (priesthood) & werhad (manhood); it was cognate with German –heit & -keit, the Dutch -heid, the Old Frisian & Old Saxon -hed, all from the Proto-Germanic haidus (manner, quality (literally “bright appearance”, from the primitive Indo-European skai & kai- (bright, shining) which was cognate with the Sanskrit ketu (brightness, appearance).  It was originally a free-standing word but in Modern English survives only in this suffix.

HMS Hood (1918-1941) was a Royal Navy battlecruiser named after Admiral Samuel Hood, first Viscount (1724–1816), one of five admirals the family would provide.  Although the Battle of Jutland (1916) had exposed the inherent limitations of the battlecruiser concept and the particular flaws in the British designs, the building of the Hood anyway continued and the revisions made in the light of the Jutland experience in some way exacerbated the ship’s problems; weight was added without fully affording the additional protection required.  The Admiralty was aware of this and of the four battlecruisers of her class planned, Hood was the only one completed as the Navy embarked on a re-design but the naval disarmament agreed between the major powers in the aftermath of World War I (1914-1918) meant none were built (indeed no navy would launch a new battlecruiser until the 1980s and even then the notion was thought strange) and for two decades Hood remained the largest warship in the world.

Naval architecture, fire control ballistics and aviation had however moved on in those years and although the biggest warship afloat (the “Mighty Hood” in the public imagination), Hood was outmoded but as late as the early 1930s this mattered little because the prospect of war between the big powers seemed not only remote but absurd.  Hood is still thought one of the most elegant warships ever and it spent those years touring the empire and other foreign ports, her fine lines and apparent might impressing many although the Admiralty was well aware the days of Pax Britannica were over.  Much comment has been made about the design flaw which resulted in the Hood sinking in minutes after a shell from the German battleship Bismarck, fired from a range of some ten miles (16,000 m), penetrated the deck (some modern analysts contest this because of technical details relating to the angle of fire available to the German gunners), causing the magazine to explode, essentially splitting the hull in two.  In fairness to the Kriegsmarine (the German navy), it was a good shot but at that range, it was also lucky, that essential element in many a battle.

In structural linguistics, the term “Americanisms” is used to describe several sub-sets of innovations in English attributed to those (and their descendents) who settled in North America.  They include (1) spellings (color vs colour), most of which make more sense than the originals, (2) simplification of use (check used for cheque as well as its other meanings), (3) coinings (sockdolager (decisive blow or remark), a nineteenth century American original of contested origin) and (4) alternatives (suspenders vs braces).  Hood was one word where used differed in the US.  In the UK, the hood was the (traditionally leather but latterly a variety of fabrics) folding top which began life on horse-drawn carriages and later migrated to cars which eventually were, inter alia, called cabriolets, drophead coupés or roadsters.  In the US the same coachwork was used but there the folding tops came to be called “soft tops”, one reason being the hood was the (usually) hinged panel which covered the engine.  In the UK, that was called a bonnet (from the Middle English bonet, from the Middle French bonet (which endures as the Modern French bonnet), from the Old French bonet (material from which hats are made), from the Frankish bunni (that which is bound), from the Proto-Germanic bundiją (bundle), from the primitive Indo-European bend- (to tie).  The origins of the use of bonnet and hood as engine coverings were essentially the same: the words were in the nineteenth century both used on both sides of the Atlantic to describe cowls or coverings which protected machinery from the elements, impacts etc (the idea based on the familiar garments) and it was only chance that one use prevailed in one place and one in the other.  There were other differences too: what the British called the boot the Americans said was the trunk which on the early automobiles, like many of the stage coaches they replaced, indeed it was.

Unhinged: Not all hoods were hinged.  In 1969, some Plymouth Road Runners (left) and Dodge Super Bees (right) could be ordered with a lightweight, fibreglass hood held in place by four locking pins.  Known as the "lift-off hood", it need two conveniently to remove the thing so it wasn't the most practical option Detroit ever offered but to the target market, it was very cool.

Sabotage

Sabotage (pronounced sab-uh-tahzh (U) or sab-oh-tahzh (non-U))

(1) Any underhand interference with production, work etc, in a plant, factory etc, as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute; any similar action or behavior.

(2) In military use, an act or acts with intent to injure, interfere with, or obstruct the national defense of a country by willfully injuring or destroying, or attempting to injure or destroy, any national defense or war materiel, premises, or utilities, to include human and natural resources.

(3) Any undermining of a cause.

(4) To injure or attack by sabotage.

1907: From the French sabotage from saboter (to botch; to spoil through clumsiness (originally, to strike, shake up, harry and literally “to clatter in sabots (clog-like wooden soled shoes)”).

The noun sabotage is said to have been absorbed by English in 1907, having been used as a French borrowing since at least 1903.  The sense of the French usage was “malicious damaging or destruction of an employer's property by workmen", a development from the original idea of mere deliberate bungling and inefficiency as a form of ad-hoc industrial action.  Contemporary commentators in England noted "malicious mischief" was likely the “nearest explicit definition” of sabotage before point out “this new force in industry and morals” was definitely something associated with the continent.  As the meaning quickly shifted from mere lethargy in the means to physically damaging the tools of production, the story began to circulate that the origin of the word was related to instances of disgruntled strikers (something the English were apt to ascribe as habitual to French labour) tactic of throwing their sabots (clog-like wooden-soled shoes) into machinery.  There is no evidence this ever happened although it was such a vivid image that the tale spread widely and even enjoyed some currency as actual etymology but it was fake news.  Instead it was in the tradition of the French use in a variety of "bungling" senses including the poor delivery of a speech or a poorly played piece of music, the idea of a job botched or a discordant sound, like the clatter of many sabots on as a group walked on a hardwood floor.  The noun savate (a French method of fighting with the feet) from French savate (literally "a kind of shoe") is attested from 1862 and although linked to footwear, is unrelated to sabotage.

Prepared for sabotage: Lindsay Lohan in Gucci Black Patent Leather Hysteria Platform Clogs with wooden soles, Los Angeles, 2009.  The car is a 2009 (fifth generation) Maserati Quattroporte leased by her father.

What sabotage was depended also from where it was viewed.  In industry it was thought to be a substitute for striking in which the workers stayed in his place but proceeded to do his work slowly and badly, the aim being ultimately to displease his employer's customers and cause loss to his employer.  To the still embryonic unions seeking to organize labour, it was a reciprocal act of industrial democracy, going slow about the means of production and distribution in response to organized capital going slow in the matter of wages.  The extension by the military to describe the damage inflicted (especially clandestinely) to disrupt in some way the economy by damaging military or civilian infrastructure emerged during World War I (1914-1918).  The verb sabotage (to ruin or disable deliberately and maliciously) dates from 1912 and the noun saboteur (one who commits sabotage) was also first noted in the same year (although it had been used in English since 1909 as a French word); it was from the French agent noun from saboter and the feminine form was saboteuse.

The word exists in many European languages including Catalan (sabotatge), Czech (sabotáž), Danish (sabotage), Dutch (sabotage), Galician (sabotaxe), German (Sabotage), Hungarian (szabotázs), Italian (sabotaggio), Polish (sabotaż), Portuguese (sabotagem), Russian (сабота́ж) (sabotáž), Spanish (sabotaje), Swedish (sabotage) & Turkish (sabotaj).  Sabotage is so specific that it has no direct single-word synonym although, depending on context, related words include destruction, disruption, subversion, treachery, treason, vandalism, cripple, destroy, disrupt, hamper, hinder, obstruct, subvert, torpedo, undermine, vandalize, wreck, demolition, impairment, injury & disable.  Sabotage is a noun & verb, sabotaged is a verb & adjective, saboteur is a noun, sabotaging is a verb and sabotagable is an adjectival conjecture; some sources maintain there is no plural of sabotage and the correct form is “acts of sabotage” while others list the third-person singular simple present indicative form as sabotages.

Franz von Papen.

Although his activities as German Military Attaché for Washington DC during 1914-1915 would be overshadowed by his later adventures, Franz von Papen’s (1879–1969) inept attempts at sabotaging the Allied war effort would help introduce the word to the military vocabulary.  He attempted to disrupt the supply of arms to the British, even setting up a munitions factory with the intension of buying up scare commodities to deny their use by the Allies, only to find the enemy had contracted ample quantities so his expensive activities had no appreciable effect on the shipments.  Then his closest aide, after falling asleep on a train, left behind a briefcase full of letters compromising Papen for his activities on behalf of the central powers.  Within days, a New York newspaper published details of Papen’s amateurish cloak & dagger operations including his attempt to induce workers of Austrian & German descent employed in plants engaged in war production for the Allies to slow down their output or damage the goods.  Also in the briefcase were copies of letters he sent revealing shipping movements.

Even this wasn’t enough for the US to expel him so he expanded his operations, setting up a spy network to conduct a sabotage and bombing campaign against businesses in New York owned by citizens from the Allied nations.  That absorbed much money for little benefit but, undeterred, he became involved with Indian nationalists living in the US, arranging with them for arms to be shipped to India where he hoped a revolt against the Raj might be fermented, a strategy he pursued also with the Irish nationalists.  Thinking big, he planned an invasion of Canada and tried to enlist Mexico as an ally of the Central Powers in the event of the US entering the war with the promise California and Arizona would be returned.  More practically, early in 1915 he hired agents to blow up the Vanceboro international rail bridge which linked the US and Canada between New Brunswick and Maine.  That wasn’t a success but of greater impact was that Papen had departed from the usual practices of espionage by paying the bombers by cheque.  It was only his diplomatic immunity which protected him from arrest but British intelligence had been monitoring his activities and provided a file to the US State Department which in December 1915 declared him persona non grata and expelled him.  Upon his arrival in Berlin, he was awarded the Iron Cross.

Hopelessly ineffective though his efforts had proved, by the time Papen left the US, the words sabotage and saboteur had come into common use including in warning posters and other propaganda.  Papen went on greater things, serving briefly as chancellor and even Hitler’s deputy, quite an illustrious career for one described as “uniquely, taken seriously by neither his opponents nor his supporters”.  When one of the Weimar Republic's many scheming king-makers suggested Papen as chancellor, others thought the noting absurd, pointing out: "Papen has no head for politics."  The response was: "He doesn't need a head, his job is to be a hat".  Despite his known limitations, he proved one of the Third Reich’s great survivors, escaping purges and assassination and, despite being held in contempt by Hitler, served the regime to the end.  Even its coda he survived, being one of the few defendants at the main Nuremberg trial (1945-1946) to be acquitted (to be fair he was one of the few Nazis with the odd redeeming feature and his sins were those of cynical opportunism rather than evil intent) although the German courts did briefly imprison him, albeit under rather pleasant conditions.

The Simple Sabotage Field Manual (SSFM) was published in 1944 by the US Office of Strategic Services (OSS), the predecessor of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).  Its original purpose was as a resource for OSS field agents to use in motivating or recruiting potential foreign saboteurs and permission was granted permission to print and disseminate portions of the document as needed.  The idea was to provide tools and instructions so just about any member of society could inflict some degree of damage of a society and its economy, the rationale being that of a “death of a thousand cuts”.  In contrast, the more dramatic and violent acts of sabotage (high-risk activities like killings or blowing stuff up) were only ever practiced by a handful of citizens.  The SSFM was aimed at US sympathizers keen to disrupt war efforts against the allies during World War II (1939-1945) in ways that were barely detectable but, in cumulative effect, measurable and thus contains instructions for destabilizing or reducing progress and productivity by non-violent means. The booklet is separated into headings that correspond to specific audiences, including: Managers and Supervisors, Employees, Organizations and Conferences, Communications, Transportation (Railways, Automotive, and Water), General Devices for Lowering Morale and Creating Confusion & Electric Power.  The simplicity of approach was later adopted by the CIA when it distributed its Book of Dirty Tricks.

Of great amusement to students (amateur and professional) of corporate organizational behavior was that a number of the tactics the SSFM lists as being disruptive and tending to reduce efficiency are exactly those familiar to anyone working in a modern Western corporation.

Middle Management

(1) Insist on doing everything through “channels.” Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.

(2) Make “speeches.” Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your “points” by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences.

(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committee as large as possible — never less than five.

(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.

(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.

(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.

(7) Advocate “caution.” Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.

Senior Management

(8) In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers.

(9) Insist on perfect work in relatively unimportant products; send back for refinishing those which have the least flaw.

(10) To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions.

(11) Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.

(12) Multiply the procedures and clearances involved in issuing instructions, pay checks, and so on. See that three people have to approve everything where one would do.

Employees

(13) Work slowly.

(14) Contrive as many interruptions to your work as you can.

(15) Do your work poorly and blame it on bad tools, machinery, or equipment. Complain that these things are preventing you from doing your job right.

(16) Never pass on your skill and experience to a new or less skillful worker.

Ass & Arse

Arse (pronounced ahrs)

(1) One of many slang terms for the human buttocks (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(2) By extension, one of many slang terms applied to the rear or back-end of anything, animal, vegetable or mineral (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(3) In Australian slang, effrontery; cheek.

(4) In slang, a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person, a use sometimes enlivened as “arsehole” (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(5) A person; the self; (reflexively) oneself or one's person, chiefly their body and by extension, one's personal safety, or figuratively one's job, prospects etc (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(6) In biochemistry, as ARSE, the abbreviation of arylsulfatase E (an enzyme, deficiencies in which are associated with abnormalities in cartilage and bone development).

Pre 1000: From the Middle English ars, eres & ers, from the Old English ærs & ears, from the Proto-West Germanic ars, from the Proto-Germanic arsaz and cognate with the Old Frisian ers, the Dutch aars, the Old Norse, Middle Low German, Old Saxon & Old High German ars (from which modern German gained Arsch), the Greek órrhos (rump (from orso-, used frequently in compounds)), the Armenian or̄kh and the Hittite arras.  All of the nouns derive ultimately probably from the primitive Indo-European h₃érsos- (backside, buttocks, tail), the source also of the Ancient Greek ourá & orros (tail, rump, base of the spine), the Hittite arrash and the Old Irish err (tail).  In the hierarchy of vulgarity, arse had an interesting history, beginning as something purely descriptive but, because of the association with the buttocks and their functions (with all that that implies), the word soon became a vulgar form, avoided in polite conversation.  That restraint lingered well into the twentieth century but even though things are now more relaxed, a careless use of arse in the wrong time and place, in the wrong company, can still cause offence.  The Latin arse was the vocative masculine singular of arsus, the perfect passive participle of ārdeō which was used with a variety of senses (1) to burn (to be consumed by fire), (2) Of eyes which glow or sparkle, (3) in poetic use, to glisten with a feature, usually with a colour, (4) figuratively, “to burn, be strongly affected with an emotion, (5), figuratively, “to be eager” & (6) figuratively, ardently or fervently to be in love, to burn with lustful or romantic desire.  Arse is a noun & verb; arsing is a verb and arsed is a verb & adjective; the noun plural is arses.

There can have been few words as productive as arse in the construction of slang and idiomatic forms, some of which survived while some died out.  To “hang the arse” (slow, reluctant; tardy) was from the 1630s while the more graphic (and in some cases presumably literal) “arse-winning” referred to income gained from prostitution "money obtained by prostitution" was in Middle English in the late fourteenth century.  The familiar “arse over tit” (to fall down; to fall over) is actually an alternative form of the original “arse over tip” which was first recorded in 1884 although it had probably long been in oral use.  Arseward was a synonym of backward in the fourteenth century while the mysterious arsy-versy (backside foremost) dates from the 1530s and was probably a reduplication of arse, perhaps with suggestions of “going backwards; in reverse”.  Arsehole can of course be literal (referencing the anus) and the late fourteenth century was spelled arce-hoole, an inheritance from the Old English in which the Latin anus was glossed with earsðerl (literally "arse-thrill" with the noun thrill used in its original sense of "hole".  Asshole (a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person) is also a frequently used term of abuse.  One long-serving Australian foreign minister, early in his undistinguished term was overheard referring to poor nations as “BACs” (busted arse countries) and while he never apologized, did sit smirking in parliament while the prime-minister assured the house he’d been assured it wouldn’t happen again (presumably the leak rather than the comment).  A smart-arse (a person thought flippant or insolent, usually with a tendency to make snide remarks) should not be confused with an arse-smart (also ars-smart), the herb Persicaria hydropiper (formerly Polygonum hydropiper), named in the early fourteenth century, the construct being arse + smart (in the sense of “pain”).  The herb was also at the time once culrage and since the late eighteenth century has been known as smartweed.  Arse smart was a direct translation of the Old French cul rage, the construct being the Old French cul + rage which some sources suggest is from the Latin rabies (from rabiō (to rage)) but evidence is lacking and the French word may have been a folk etymology.

In German "My ass!" is spelled "Mein Arsch!".

The list of arse-based phrases (some of which began in the US as “ass” slang) is long and perhaps impossible wholly to compile but some of the other more frequently used forms are (1) arseage or pure arse (good and usually undeserved luck), (2) arse licker (sycophancy, also expressed as suck arse or kiss arse), sometime used in conjunction with (3) arse-kicker (stern superior) in the phrase (4) “kisses up, kicks down” which refers to those obsequious towards superior and officious to subordinates, (5) light up someone’s arse (provide encouragement in a strident or violent manner) which Dr Joseph Goebbels (1897-1975; Nazi propaganda minister 1933-1945) used in typically imaginative manner, telling his staff just after the failure of the July 1944 plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945), “It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see reason”, (6) arse about (and arse around) which can mean either “the wrong way around” or “behaving frivolously, wasting time”, (7) half-arsed (something done badly or improperly), (8) fat arse (someone overweight), (9) dumb arse (someone considered not intelligent or an act thought most unwise, (10) cover one's arse (to take such action as one considers necessary to avoid later blame or censure (this one definitely borrowed from the US), (11) to break one’s arse (working hard), (12) arse in a sling (an unfortunate state in one’s personal affairs, especially if the consequence of one’s own mistakes or ill-considered actions, (13) pain in the arse (someone or something troublesome or really annoying (pain in the neck the polite alternative)), (14) kick in the arse (a form of encouragement, a punishment or combination of the two), (15) bet your ass (an expression of certainty), (16) pulled it out of one’s arse (an admission of luck), the companion phrase being (17) can’t just pull it out of one’s arse (introducing a sense of reality to a conversation), (18) stick it up (your) arse (declining an offer, invitation or suggestion) and (19) can't be arsed (can’t be bothered).

Gratuitous objectification: One dozen pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s ass.

Ass (pronounced ass or ahrs)

(1) Ass is a noun and the adjectival form is ass-like (assesque a bit clumsy); the noun plural is asses.  adjective: asinine

(2) Either of two perissodactyl mammals of the horse family (Equidae), Equus asinus (African wild ass) or E. hemionus (Asiatic wild ass).  They are long-eared, slow, placid, sure-footed and easily domesticated, thus long used as a beast of burden.

(3) An alternative spelling of arse (buttocks or anus) and the standard form in the US and much of Canada.

(4) A stupid, foolish, absurdly pompous or stubborn person (although when seeking to suggest stubborn, “mule” was historically the more usual form).

(5) Someone with whom sexual intercourse is desired, contemplated or achieved and in those contexts can be used also to express admiration (nice piece of ass).

Pre-1000:  From the Middle English asse, from the Old English assa, probably a pet name or diminutive form based on a Celtic form such as the Old Irish asan or the Old Welsh asen, from the Latin asinus and akin to the Greek ónos (the donkey-like ass), from a non-Indo-European language of Asia Minor, possibly the Sumerian anše (ass).  The use as an alternative spelling of arse dates from the 1860s in the US and may be related to the increase in the mixing of linguistic traditions during the Civil War.

Arse thus is the British slang word referring to (1) the human or animal posterior, or (2) a stupid person.  Ass is the American equivalent and is used also as the name of the beast of burden so like “check”, in US English there is potential for confusion whereas in British & Commonwealth use, the ass/arse & cheque/check distinction avoids this although, given the differences in definition, ass is less prone than check.  Some style guides and the more helpful dictionaries caution that ass in the US is less acceptable that arse has become in the commonwealth and when speaking of the beast, donkey or mule is often used, even when zoologically dubious.  Still, the word is useful and on Reddit there’s the subreddit AITA ("Am I the asshole), which is the clearing house for enquiries where those involved in disputes can seek views on whether they are in the wrong.

Dick Assman (Assman the Gasman), Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, 1995.

Dick Assman (1934-2016) was a Canadian gas (petrol) station employee who gained his fifteen minutes (actually several months) of fame by virtue of his name which came to the attention of US talk-show host David Letterman (b 1947).  Seeing the comedic potential, Letterman in mid-1995 added a nightly segment called Assman the Gasman which lasted a few weeks but it generated for Mr Assman so much name-recognition, that it led to opportunities such as judging beauty contests.  The names Assman & Assmann are of fourteenth century German origin and are thought variations of Erasmus from the Ancient Greek erasmos (loved).  It was originally a personal name which evolved into a surname as the conventions of family names evolved in the post-feudal period.  Mr Assman enjoyed the celebrity ride but did note the name is correctly pronounced oss-man.

Bismarck class Schlachtschiff (battleship) KMS Tirpitz. 

Vice Admiral Kurt Assmann (1883-1962) had a career at sea before between in 1933 appointed head of the historical section of the German Navy (Kriegsmarine which would later become Oberkommando der Marine (OKL; the naval high command)).  The books he published in the post-war years are a valuable source of facts and a helpful chronology but much of his analysis about political and naval strategy was criticized on both sides of the Iron Curtain.  His nephew was naval Captain Heinz Assmann (1904—1954) who for a time served on the Bismarck-class battleship KMS Tirpitz and was later attached to Oberkommando der Wehrmacht (OKW; the armed forces high command).  His notable contribution to history was being in the conference room on 20 July 1944 when the bomb intended to kill Hitler exploded.  After recovering from his injuries, he returned to his duties at OKW and was attached to the Flensburg staff of Grand Admiral Karl Dönitz (1891–1980; head of the German Navy 1943-1945, German head of state 1945) when the latter was named in Hitler’s political testament as his successor as head of state, his time in office lasting three weeks.  Captain Assmann subsequently was interviewed by allied investigators who were seeking fully to understand the chain of events of on the day of the July plot.  Between 1953-1954, he served as a member of the Hamburg Parliament.

The ass in thought crime

Thou shalt not covet is one of the biblical Ten Commandments (or Decalogue), regarded by most scholars as moral imperatives.  Both Exodus and Deuteronomy describe the commandments as having been spoken by God, inscribed on two stone tablets by the finger of God, and, after Moses shattered the originals, rewritten by God on others.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ass, or anything that belongs to thy neighbor.

Thy neighbor's ass.

It differs from the other nine in that while they’re concerned with the actions of sinners, the prohibition on being a coveter is about a sinner's thoughts and thus, an early description of thoughtcrime (a word coined by George Orwell (1903-1950) for his dystopian 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four).  Indeed Matthew (5:21-21, 27-28) anticipates Orwell in saying that it’s not enough merely to obey the commandment “thou shalt not commit adultery” because “…anyone who looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart”.  Jimmy Carter (b 1924; US President 1977-1981) quoted this in his Playboy interview, a statement of presidential probity neither shared nor always adhered to by all his successors and predecessors.  In that context, it should be remembered there's an (unwritten) eleventh commandment: "Thou shall not get caught".