Intelligence

Intelligence (pronounced in-tel-i-juh-ns)

(1) Capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.

(2) Describing the manifestation of a high mental capacity.

(3) The faculty of understanding.

(4) Knowledge of an event, circumstance, etc., received or imparted; news; information.

(5) The gathering or distribution of information, especially secret information; the evaluated conclusions drawn from such information; an organization or agency engaged in gathering such information.

(6) The interchange of information.

(7) In the sect of Christian Science, a fundamental attribute of God, or infinite Mind; an intelligent being or spirit, especially an incorporeal one, as an angel.

(8) News or information (now obsolete except as applied to the military, government or others who practice espionage).

(9) As used in intelligence quotient (IQ) tests, refers to an individual's relative standing on two quantitative indices, namely measured intelligence, as expressed by an intelligence quotient, and effectiveness of adaptive behavior.

1350-1400: From the Middle English intelligence (the highest faculty of the mind, capacity for comprehending general truths (and later "faculty of understanding, comprehension")), from the Old French intelligence, from Latin intelligentia & intellegentia (understanding, knowledge, power of discerning; art, skill, taste), from intelligentem (nominative intelligens) (discerning, appreciative), present participle of intelligere (to understand, comprehend, come to know),from intellegere (to discern, comprehend (literally “ choose between”)), the construct being inter-, (between, amid), a form of prepositional inter (between)+ legere (to choose), from the primitive Indo-European root leg- (to collect, gather (with derivatives meaning "to speak; to pick out words)) or the Proto-Italic legō (to care).

The meaning “superior understanding, sagacity, quality of being intelligent” is from the early 1400s and the particular application to spies dates from later that century although at much the same time it was applied in general to "information received or imparted; news". The word assumed its modern meaning (being endowed with understanding or knowledge) in late 1300s, influenced by the use in Old French where it had existed since the twelfth century.  The first formerly structured intelligence quotient (IQ) tests were conducted in 1921.  Intelligential is the adjective and intel the usual abbreviation.

Military Intelligence

The record of military intelligence during World War I (WWI, 1914-1918) was mixed and the troops would joke there were three types of intelligence: human, animal & military.  It was during WWI that some British military intelligence units began to pick up their familiar identification codes (M(ilitary) I(ntelligence)1, MI4, MI5 etc).  MI5 and MI6 remain well-known, thanks to Ian Fleming (1908–1964; the former naval intelligence officer who wrote the James Bond novels) and other writers but there were many other MIs, researchers uncovering amidst the alpha-numeric soup references to entities up to MI25 but not all existed at the same time and most have long since been either disestablished or folded into MI5, MI6 or GCHQ (Government Communications Headquarters; the UK government's clearing house for signals intelligence (SIGINT)) in the post-war years.

Artificial Intelligence: A random eight AI generated images of Lindsay Lohan.  

The records are occasionally contradictory but researchers have synthesized what are thought to be the most reliable sources and the list has been little amended since first it was published in the late 1990s.  The list should not however be misinterpreted; some of the MIx entries identified better thought of as project codes for operations which were, either at once or shortly after their creation, appended to other departments rather than becoming or remaining distinct entities with a personnel establishment and physical accoutrements of infrastructure.  Other were ad-hoc creations of wartime exigency that were dissolved as circumstances rendered their purpose redundant.  There’s also another reason why the list may be incomplete: given all this operates at least notionally under the auspices of the notoriously secretive military and it could be there are any number of still secret departments.

MI1: During WWI, the army’s MI1 (there were a number of sub-sections labelled MI1a, MI1b etc) and the Admiralty’s NID25 had operated separately as collectors and interpreters of SIGINT, including code-breaking.  After the war, they were combined into the inter-service Directorate of Military Intelligence and Cryptography which ultimately evolved into GCHQ.  However, the Army, Royal Navy and newly created Royal Air Force (RAF) all maintained, sometimes in great secrecy, their own intelligence operations, the Admiralty especially jealous of its independence in as many fields as possible.

MI2: A divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Russia & Scandinavia.

MI3: A divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Eastern Europe.  This originally included Germany but so important did the German threat become that MI14 and MI15 were created exclusively to handle Britain’s fears of things Teutonic.

MI4: Matters related to aerial reconnaissance.  MI4’s original remit included not only the analysis of photographs but also the technical aspects of the process (cameras, lens, film stock, mounting techniques etc) and as civil aviation expanded, spying on foreign territory was accomplished sometimes with the use of civil airliners.  MI4 was transferred to Military Combined Operations in April 1940 when the MI15 was hived-off as an operation concerned purely with engineering aspects of photography and attached to the Air Ministry.

MI5: The well-known domestic intelligence service, the focus of which varies according to changes in the threat environment (Germans, feminists, communists, fascists, homosexuals, Freemasons, terrorists et al).  It’s known also as the Security Service but the authorities never make much of this, presumably because they don’t like the idea of people calling it "the SS".  MI5 is responsible to the home secretary (the UK's minister for internal affairs).

MI6: The foreign intelligence service, almost always called MI6 because of its historic origins but actually correctly styled the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) and as the Secret Service Bureau, it actually pre-dated WWI, the MI6 tag not used until World War II (WWII, 1939-1945).  The SIS is responsible to the Foreign Secretary and is well-known because of the connection with spies real and fictional: James Bond, Graham Greene, John le Carré, Ian Fleming, Somerset Maugham, Kim Philby etc. 

MI7: Military Communication Interception, later known as the Propaganda Section and transferred to the Ministry of Information during the Battle of France (the Western Campaign (Westfeldzug to the Germans) May-June 1940)).

MI8: Better known as the WWII Special Operations Executive (SOE), the covert ops department set up “to set Europe ablaze”, concentrating on sabotage and political subversion in Nazi-occupied Europe.  Said at the time to be of great psychological value, post-war analysis of its operations suggested success was patchy.  In the inter-war years, MI8 was concerned with the interception and interpretation of communications.

MI9: A WWII creation concerned with undercover operations, especially assisting escape and evasion by both civilians and prisoners of war.

MI10: Weapons analysis, a WWII military-civil partnership which conducted tests and provided analytical services.

MI11: Military security.  Although concerned with internal matters such as leaks and the theft of intelligence, most of its staff were in field security and the Military Police dealt overwhelmingly with normal police matters or military discipline.

MI12: Military censorship, always a growth industry in the armed forces.  One WWII US general held the view the civilian population needed to be told about the war only when it was over and then only that “we won”.

MI13: There is no evidence MI13 ever existed.  Whether this was because of the superstition the British attach to the number 13 isn’t known.  Conspiracy theorists wonder if it’s something so secret that it’s never been spoken of.

MI14 & MI15: Divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Germany.

MI15: In April 1940, the MI15 title was recycled, German matters having long been exclusively the domain of MI14.  MI15 became the aerial photography branch which was purely technical (how best to photograph stuff) and attached to the Air Ministry while MI4 (aerial reconnaissance) decided what should be photographed.

MI16: Scientific analysis.  As WWII progresses, the importance of advances in science and technology became increasingly obvious.  MI16 wasn’t a collection of scientists but an administrative centre to coordinate research and ensure efforts weren’t being duplicated.  It interacted with existing instruments such as the Ministry of Supply in matters of resource allocation.

MI17: Secretariat for Director of Military Intelligence.  This was an attempt to coordinate the back-office and administrative overhead of all the MIx departments but it also added to the bureaucracy.

MI18: There is no evidence MI18 ever existed but because of the existence of MI19 such an institution may at least have been contemplated with the designation reserved for that purpose (or it could, like the mysterious MI13, be in secret functioning even today).

MI19: A WWII prisoner of war debriefing unit, best known for the transcripts they provided by secretly bugging German generals in captivity in England.  The transcripts are especially interesting when read in conjunction with some of the generals’ memoirs published after their release.

Conspiracy theorists find it intriguing that there’s no documentary evidence for the existence of MI13, MI18 & MI20 and MI21-MI25 remain classified as secret.  Over the years, the most popular conspiracy theory has been there’s a MI unit somewhere concerned with a covering up what the government really knows about UFOs.

The SIS Building, 85 Albert Embankment, Vauxhall, Lambeth, London.  Opened in 1994, nicknames include Legoland, The London Lubyanka, Ceaușescu Towers & The Ziggurat.

The British government did not until 1994 officially acknowledge the existence of the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS, aka MI6), and the identities of its staff and location of their offices were classified secret and subject to a D-Notice (now called a DSMA-Notice (Defence and Security Media Advisory Notice)) which was an official request by government to publishers and broadcasters not to publish or broadcast items about certain matters, a system which worked rather effectively in the pre-internet age.  However, the location of the SIS’s headquarters in the London suburb of Lambeth was apparently the UK’s “worst kept secret” appearing in training materials for taxi drivers although the story it was once in Lonely Planet’s London guide seems to have been apocryphal.  When the new SIS building was commissioned, it was decided to solve the problem of the secret leaking by publishing the details and ensuring the new structure was about the most obvious thing on the Thames.  An eclectic mix of styles, shapes & structures, when opened in 1994 it attracted criticism from those architects who decry anything other than 1950s New York modernism but it has aged rather well, the colors, lines and proportions not without charm.

Soda

Soda (pronounced soh-duh)

(1) In science and industry, a common verbal shorthand for various simple inorganic compounds of sodium (sodium carbonate (washing soda), sodium bicarbonate (baking soda), and sodium hydroxide (caustic soda) et al).

(2) A common clipping of soda water.

(3) A fizzy drink made with carbonated water (water impregnated with pressurized carbon dioxide, originally made with sodium bicarbonate), flavoring (such as fruit or other syrups) and often ice cream, milk etc (once exclusively North American use, now more common); a shortening of the original "soda-pop".

(4) In the game of faro, the top card in the pack, discarded at the start, the game played with 51 cards.

(5) In Australian slang, something easily done (obsolete).

1490s:  From the Italian sida (sodium carbonate; an alkaline substance extracted from certain ashes), from the Medieval Latin soda (a kind of saltwort (sodanum barilla; a plant burned to obtain a type of sodium carbonate)) of uncertain origin.  It was once thought to have been from the Arabic suwwādah (a similar type of plant) but this is now discounted by most but may be from the Catalan sosa, first noted in the late thirteenth century.  There is also the speculative suggestion there may be some connection with the Medieval Latin sodanum (a headache remedy), ultimately from the Arabic suda (splitting headache).

Soda is found naturally in alkaline lakes, in deposits where such lakes have dried, and from ash produced by burning various plants close to sources of salt-water.  It was one of the most traded commodities in the medieval Mediterranean and manufacture of it at industrial scale began in France in the late eighteenth century and the smaller operations gradually closed as transportation links improved.  .  The metallic alkaline element sodium was named in 1807 by English chemist Humphry Davy (1778-1829), so called because the element was isolated from caustic soda (sodium hydroxide); the chemical symbol Na is from natrium, the alternative name for the element proposed by Swedish chemist Jöns Jacob Berzelius (1779–1848) from natron (a naturally occurring mixture of sodium carbonate decahydrate (Na₂CO₃·10H₂O).

A "soda spiral".

The soda-cracker, first sold in 1863, has baking soda as an ingredient.  Although modern, commercially bottled soda water now rarely contains soda (in any form), the name is a hangover from 1802 when “soda water” was first used to describe water into which carbonic acid had been forced under pressure, the meaning “"carbonated water" dating from 1834.  In the mid-nineteenth century, it became popular to flavor soda water with various sweetened concoctions (typically fruits rendered with sugar syrup) and after 1863 these were often called soda pop, the clipping “soda” (flavored, sweetened soda water) the most common use of the word in North America (it quickly supplanted “pop”, one of the occasions where a two-syllable slang was preferred over a shorter form).  The soda fountain dates from 1824 and originally described a counter in a shop at which sodas, ice-creams etc were prepared and served; later it was used of the self-serve machines which dispensed fizzy drinks at the push of a button.  Someone employed to run such a counter was described first (1883) as soda-jerker, the slang clipped to soda-jerk in 1915.  The colloquial pronunciation sody was noted in US Midwestern use at the turn of the twentieth century.  Synonyms for the drink includes: carbonated drink, fizzy drink, fizz (UK), (fizzy) pop (Northern US, Canada), soda pop (US), soft drink, lemonade and (the colloquial) thirst-buster.

The extraordinary range of derived terms (technical & commercial) includes: soda glass, Club Soda, cream soda, Creaming Soda, ice-cream soda, muriate of soda, nitrate of soda, soda-acid, soda ash, soda biscuit, soda cracker, soda bread, soda cellulose, soda counter, soda fountain, sodaic, soda jerk, soda jerker, soda lake, soda-lime glass, sodalite, soda lye, sodamide, soda niter, soda nitre, diet soda, soda paper, soda pop, lite soda, soda prairie, ginger soda, soda process, soda pulp, soda siphon, Soda Springs, soda waste, soda water, sodium, sulfate of soda, sulphate of soda, sulfite of soda, sulphite of soda, washing soda, baking soda & caustic soda.

The Soda Geyser Car.

For girls and boys who wish to explore the possibilities offered by the chemical reaction between soda and Mentos®, the Soda Geyser Car is available for US$22.95, offering both amusement and over a dozen experiments with which to demonstrate Newton's laws of motion.  In its default configuration it will travel over 200' (60 m) (the warning label cautioning it's not suitable for those aged under three and that it may upset pet cats etc) but for those who want more, it's possible to concoct more potent fuels, a recipe for the ominous sounding “Depth Charger” included.  Tinkerers can adapt this technology to experiment with their own rockets and the kit includes:

Mentos® Soda Car
Turbo Geyser Tube.
Roll of Mentos®
2 Liter Bottle.
Inflation Needle.
Nose Cone.
Geyser Rocker Car Frame.
Flagpole.
Decals.
Velcro Straps.
Experiment and activity guide.

Dirty Soda

The Doctrine and Covenants (the D&C (1835) and usually referred to as the Word of Wisdom) is the scriptural canon of the Church of the Latter Day Saints (the Mormons), section 89 of which provides dietary guidelines which prohibit, inter-alia, the consumption of alcohol, tobacco, and hot drinks (ie tea & coffee).  This index of forbidden food accounts not only for why noted Mormon Mitt Romney usually looks so miserable but also why manufacturers of chocolate, candy & soda have long found Utah a receptive and lucrative market; other than joyful singing, the sugary treats are among their few orally enjoyed pleasures.

It therefore surprised few that it was between two Utah-based operations that law suits were exchanged over which owned the right to sell “dirty sodas”.  Mormons aren’t allowed to do anything “dirty” (though it's rumored some do) so the stakes obviously were high, a dirty soda as close to sinfulness as a reading of the D&C will seem to permit.  A dirty soda is a soda flavored with “spikes” of cream, milk, fruit purees or syrups and is a kind of alcohol-free mocktail and the soda shops Sodalicious and Swig had both been active promoters of the sugary concept which has proven increasingly profitable.

Mitt Romney (b 1947; Republican nominee in the 2012 US presidential election, US senator (Republican-Utah) since 2019), buying 12-packs of Caffeine Free Diet Coke and Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, Hunter's Shop and Save, Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, August 2012.  Mitt knows how to have a good time.

In documents filed in court in 2015, Swig had accused Sodalicious of copying their trademarked “dirty” idea, even replicating the frosted sugar cookies sold alongside the spiked drinks.  Both shops had become well-known for their soda mixology, Swig’s concoctions including the Tiny Turtle (Sprite spiked with green apple and banana flavors) and the company sought damages and a restraining order, preventing Sodalicious from using descriptions or signage with any similarity to Swig’s.  Sodalicious counter-sued, claiming “dirty” is a longtime moniker for martinis and other cocktails, noting the product differentiation in their names for dirty sodas such as “The Second Wife” (a daring allusion to the polygamous past of the Mormons) and the “The Rocky Mountain High”, made by adding cherry and coconut added to Coca-Cola.  The case concluded with an out-of-court settlement, neither side seeking costs and no details of the terms were revealed.

Long time Pepsi consumer, Lindsay Lohan.

In December 2022, as a holiday season promotion, the Pepsi Corporation teamed with Lindsay Lohan to promote Pilk.  A Pilk is a mix of Pepsi Cola and milk, one of a class of dirty sodas created by PepsiCo which includes the Naughty & Ice, the Chocolate Extreme, the Cherry on Top, the Snow Float and the Nutty Cracker.  All are intended to be served with cookies (biscuits) and although Ms Lohan confessed to being “…a bit skeptical when I first heard of this pairing”, she was quickly converted, noting that “…after my first sip I was amazed at how delicious it was, so I’m very excited for the rest of the world to try it.”  Tied in nicely with her current Netflix movie “Falling for Christmas”, the promotional clip explores the pilk as a modern take on the traditional milk & cookies left in thanks for Santa Claus and the opportunity to don the Santa outfit from Mean Girls (2004) wasn’t missed, the piece concluding with the line : “This is one dirty soda Santa”.

Santa Redux: A Mean Girls moment celebrated with a pilk, PepsiCo dirty soda promotion, 2022.   

PepsiCo provided other dirty soda recipes:

(1) The Naughty & Ice: For a pure milk taste that's infused with notes of vanilla, measure and combine 1 cup of whole milk, 1 tbsp of heavy cream and 1 tbsp of vanilla creamer.  From there, pour the mixture slowly into 1 cup of Pepsi – the brand's hero product – and consume it alongside a chocolate chip cookie.

(2) The Chocolate Extreme: Blend 1/3 cup of chocolate milk and 2 tbsp of chocolate creamer together, transfer the mixture to 1 cup of smooth & creamy Pepsi Nitro to enjoy the richness of the flavor atop of a frothy foam head.  This "Pilk" will satisfy the chocoholic in you, especially by pairing it with a double chocolate cookie.

(3) The Cherry on Top: A hint of cherry always sweetens the deal.  Combine ½ cup of 2% milk, 2 tbsp of heavy cream and 2 tbsp of caramel creamer.  To bring the complex flavors to life, place the mixture into 1 cup of Pepsi Wild Cherry while pairing the drink with a gingerbread cookie.

(4) The Snow Fl(oat): An oatmeal-based cookie loaded with raisins is sure to complement an oat milk "Pilk".  Start by taking ½ cup of oat milk and adding 4 tbsp of caramel creamer.  Then, slowly pour the sweet mixture into a glass filled with 1 cup of Pepsi Zero Sugar.

(5) The Nutty Cracker: Combine ½ cup of almond milk and 4 tbsp of coconut creamer and place the mixture atop a pool of smooth & creamy Nitro Pepsi Vanilla.  For true richness, pair with a coated peanut butter cookie.

Historically, PepsiCo’s advertising always embraced DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion), depicting blondes, brunettes and redheads.  They needed just to be white, slender and attractive.

PepsiCo dirty soda promotion, 2022.

7up advertising from the 1950s.

The idea of combining milk and soft-drinks has a history in the US and it may have been a cultural practice although given there seems nothing to suggest it ever appeared in depictions of popular culture, it may have been something regional or occasionally faddish.  The 7up corporation in the 1950s used advertising which recommended adding the non-carbonated drink to milk as a way of inducing children who "won't drink milk" to up their dairy intake.  The reference in the copy to "mothers know" does suggest the idea may have been picked up from actual practice and although today nutritionists and dentists might not endorse the approach, there are doubtless other adulterations of milk which are worse still for children to take.

Assart

Assart (pronounced ess-sart)

(1) In English law, as an intransitive verb, the act of grubbing up trees or bushes to convert forest into arable land; a variant was the less common essart, directly from the Old French).

(2) In English law, as a noun, a piece of once forested land cleared for use in agriculture (obsolete).

Pre 1000: From the Middle French essarter, from the Old French essart, from essarter (to “grub up” or clear land), from the Late Latin exartum, probably from the Vulgar Latin exsartum, neuter of exsartus, past participle of exsarire (to weed out), the construct being ex- (out) + sarire (to hoe, weed).  It was akin to the Old High German sarf (sharp), the Latin sarpere (to prune), the Ancient Greek harpagē (hook, rake) and the Sanskrit sṛṇī (sickle).  Assart is a noun & verb and assarted & assarting are verbs; the noun plural is assarts.

The companion noun was the now archaic thwaite, from the Middle English thwait, from the Old Norse þveit (paddock).  Related forms included the Old Norse þveita (to hurl (and linked to the later English “whittle”)), the Danish døjt (1⁄160 of the gulden (and in dialectal use: “a small coin”)), the German Deut and the Dutch duit.  It was cognate with the Old English þwītan (to thwite; cut; cut off) and was a doublet of doit (the small Dutch coin) and possibly of twat (slang for both “a stupid person” and “the vulva or vagina”).  A thwaite was also a piece of assarted forest land, the only difference being it could be used for purpose of habitation as well as agriculture or habitation but the distinction was never enforced in law and the two words co-existed, apparently without ill-effect.

Land clearance

Assart: Lindsay Lohan in Prussian blue bikini, Florianópolis, Brazil, April 2013.

Although an ancient practice, the legal mechanism of the assart was a creation of feudal law and referred to to the act of clearing forested land for the purpose of converting it into arable land or pasture, something of some significance in medieval England.  Assarting was often regulated by feudal law because forested land was valuable (both the land value and resources such as water, timber and wild game) and typically the property of the crown or a lord and the unauthorized clearing (assarting) of forest land was prohibited, offenders subject to legal sanction.  Once approval was granted, the parcel of land assarted was described as “an assart” (except in northern England where the common law term was “a riding”) and in some instances, those granted permission to assart might be required to pay an "assart rent" as a form of tax or fee for the use of the newly cleared land, a legal concept not dissimilar to the modern RRT (resource rental tax) system used in some jurisdictions to generate revenue from those exploiting an area of land or sea for purposes of resource extraction.  In medieval England, clearances happened usually on common land which was then put to private use, the “assart rents” paid to the Crown for the land assarted.  Assarting (though usually without the elaborate legal structures) has been practiced since the last days of the hunter-gatherer societies towards the end of the pre-historic era and was a significant practice during the Middle Ages as it played a role in agricultural expansion and the transformation of the landscape from wild forest to cultivated land, something which enabled an increase in the production of food which in turn made sustainable larger populations, something which of course led to the need further to assart.

Like any form of government action in which a government transfers a right in land held in common (although the term “common land” is a little misleading) by way of a leasehold or freehold title, there were often “special deals” and the better connected one was, the more special (in terms of area, frequency of grant, exchange of consideration etc) they were likely to be, local Lords and churches especially favoured.  The land cleared was usually common land but after assarting, the space became privately used, either by the individual family who would remove the wooded coverage except to the extent hedges were retained to create individual paddocks or by cooperatives (groups of geographically close families or even whole villages) which would divide the space on some agreed basis.  The monasteries (which once littered the country) were also players, needing agricultural activities both to secure the necessary food supplies and to provide surpluses which could be cash crops or used in the then prevalent barter economy.  The thousand-year trend, in most parts of the world settled or colonised by Europeans, has been that assartment has tended to increase the acreage of cleared land suitable for agriculture and reduce the size of forests.  However, one aberration happened during the fourteenth century when the Black Death pandemic radically depopulated the countryside and many assarted areas reverted to woodland. 

Auburn

Auburn (pronounced aw-bern)

(1) A reddish-brown or golden-brown color.

(2) Of something colored auburn (most often used to describe hair).

(3) A widely used locality name.

(4) As the Auburn system (also known as the New York system and Congregate system), a notably severe penal method created in the early nineteenth century and implemented in Auburn Prison, Auburn, New York.

1400–1450: From the late Middle English abron, abrune aborne & abourne (light brown, yellowish brown), a sixteenth century alteration (because of a conflation with the later spelling auburne with the Middle English broune & brun (brown) which also changed the spelling) of the earlier auborne (yellowish-white, flaxen) from the Middle French & Old French auborne & alborne (blond, flaxen, off-white) from the Medieval alburnus (fair-haired, literally “like white or whitish”) and related to alburnum (the soft, newer wood in the trunk of a tree found between the bark and the hardened heartwood, often paler in color than the heartwood) from alba & albus (white).  Since the meaning shifted from blonde to hues of red, auburn has tended to be used exclusively of women’s hair.  The noun use dates from 1852.  Auburn is often associated with the Venetian painter Tiziano Vecellio (circa 1490-1576; known usually in English as Titian), especially the works of his early career when the colors tended to be more vivid but the modern practice is to apply auburn to darker shades although there’s much imprecision in commercial applications such as hair dyes and what some call some sort of auburn, others might list as some variation of burgundy, brown, chestnut, copper, hazel, henna, russet, rust or titian.

The term “medieval scholar” is not of course oxymoronic though the language is replete with errors of translation and misunderstandings replicated and re-enforced over a thousand-odd years.  However, as English began to assume its recognizably modern form, nor were errors unknown and it does seem strange such a well-documented Latin word as alburnus (fair-haired, literally “like white or whitish”) which had evolved in Middle English as auburne could be conflated with the Middle English broune & brun (brown), leading eventually to the modern auburn having morphed from blonde to a range of reddish browns.  Some etymologists however suggests it was deliberate, the late fifteenth century blond being preferred while auburne was re-purposed to where it could be more useful in the color-chart.  The modern blond & blonde were from the Old French & Middle French blund & blont (blond, light brown, feminine of blond) thought most likely of Germanic origin and related to the Late Latin blundus (yellow) from which Italian picked up biondo and Spanish gained blondo.  It was akin to the Old English blondenfeax (gray-haired), derived from the Classical Latin flāvus (yellow) and in Old English, there was also blandan (to mix).  There exists an alternative etymology which connects the Frankish blund (a mixed color between golden and light-brown) to the Proto-Germanic blundaz (blond), the Germanic forms derived from the primitive Indo-European bhlnd (to become turbid, see badly, go blind) & blend (blond, red-haired)).  If so, it would be cognate with the Sanskrit bradhná (ruddy, pale red, yellowish).  In his dictionary (1863-1873), Émile Littré (1801–1881) noted the original sense of the French word was "a color midway between golden and light chestnut" which might account for the notion of "mixed."  In the Old English beblonden meant "dyed," so it is a possible root of blonde and the documentary record does confirm ancient Teutonic warriors were noted for dying their hair.

However the work of the earlier French lexicographer, Charles du Fresne (1610-1688), claimed that blundus was a vulgar pronunciation of Latin flāvus (yellow) but cited no sources.  Another guess, and one discounted universally by German etymologists, is that it represents a Vulgar Latin albundus from the Classical Latin alba & albus (white).  The word came into English from Old French where it had masculine and feminine forms and the English noun imported both, thus a blond is a fair-haired male, a blonde a fair-haired female and even if no longer a formal rule in English, it’s an observed convention.  As an adjective, blonde is now the more common spelling and can be applied to both sexes, a use once prevalent in the US although most sources note the modern practice is to refer to women as blonde and men as fair.  Even decades ago, style guides on both sides of the Atlantic maintained, to avoid offence, it was better to avoid using blond(e) as a stand-alone noun-descriptor of women.

Paintings by Titian (left to right), Portrait of a Lady (circa 1511), National Gallery, London, Flora (1515), Uffizi Gallery, Florence, St Margaret and the Dragon (circa 1559) Museo del Prado, Madrid & Portrait of a Lady in White (circa 1561), Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister, Dresden.

Even the understanding of auburn as “reddish brown” or “golden brown” has changed over the years.  The Venetian painter Tiziano Vecellio (circa 1490-1576 and known in English usually as Titian) lent the name “titian auburn” to the tint of reddish-brown hair which appeared so often in his work.  As so often happens in art, his output darkened as he aged so the term “titian auburn” as a literal descriptor of a particular tincture needs to be understood as a spectrum.  While his fondness for redheads seems not to have diminished with age, the vivid hues which characterized the flowing locks he favored in his youth were later sometimes rendered in more subdued tones.

Lindsay Lohan illustrates the shift from the Latin alburnus to the modern English Auburn.

(1) Alburnus as a Roman would have understood the description; now called blond or blonde depending on context.

(2) The classical understanding of “titian auburn”, a light and vivid shade reddish-brown.

(3) A more cooper-tinged hue, representative of what the hair-dye industry would call something like “light auburn”.

(4) This is a dark alburn; any darker and depending on the tint, it would be described either as burgundy or chestnut.

The Auburn Speedster

1935 Auburn 851 SC Speedster.

Under a variety of corporate structures, the Auburn company produced cars in the US between 1900-1937 and is remembered now for the Speedster 851 & 852, one of the most romantic designs of the mid-1930s.  Although Auburn, along with its corporate stablemates Cord and Duesenberg, succumbed to the affects of the Great Depression, the company’s financial problems long-predated the 1929 Wall Street crash, the conglomerate of the three manufacturers assembled in 1925 as a restructuring.  After this, in the growing economy of the 1920s Auburn began again to prosper and it was in 1925 the company introduced the model which would be the basis of the later 851 & 852.  Auburn-Cord-Duesenberg (A-C-D) actually enjoyed a logical structure in that the brand-names existed at different price points but it lacked any presence in the low-cost mass-market, relying instead on lower volume vehicles which relied on their style, engineering and value for money for their appeal.  Had the depression not happened, the strategy might have worked but, given the austerity of the 1930s, what’s remarkable is that A-C-D endured until 1937.             

1932 Auburn 12-160.  The color is said to be a 1932 factory option and is similar to the apple green with which Duesenberg painted their 6.9 litre (420 cubic inch) straight-eights.

Although now celebrated for their stylish lines, A-C-D’s cars were at the time also noted for innovation and the quality of their engineering.  Cord’s front-wheel-drive proved a cul-de-sac to which US manufacturers wouldn’t for decades return but other aspects of their designs were influential although A-C-D’s trademark quixotic offerings sometimes suggested a sense of disconnection from economic reality; in 1932, in the depth of the depression, Auburn announced a model powered by a 391 cubic inch (6.5 litre) V12, a perhaps questionable approach in an environment which had seen demand collapse for the twelve and sixteen cylinder Lincolns, Packard and Cadillacs.  Elegant and powerful, in less troubled times it would likely have succeeded but was wholly unsuited to the world into which it was released despite being priced from an extraordinary US$1,105; while that was 40% more than even the most expensive Ford V8, it was a fraction the cost of the more comparable Packard or Lincoln V12.

1936 Auburn 852 SC Speedster.

The Boattail Speedster was less ambitious but had already carved its niche.  It was designed in 1928 to create the signature product that encapsulated what A-C-D wished the Auburn marque to represent: fast, sleek, stylish and a value for money no other could match; had the company anticipated the slogan “grace, space & pace” it would have been well understood for what is now called a mission statement was exactly what made Jaguar such a success in the post-war years.  Using Lycoming's smooth, powerful and reliable straight-eight cylinder engine, sleek Speedster delivered the performance the lines promised, a genuine 100 mph (160 km/h) roadster which set speed records when taken to Daytona Beach.  The Speedster’s classic iteration was the 851 (the subsequent 852 all but identical), introduced in 1934, the design clearly a homage to the much-admired (if infrequently purchased) Duesenberg Weymann Speedster though where the Duesenberg was long and elegant, the Auburn was squat and sporty and for those who wanted something more charismatic still, the 280 cubic inch (4.6 litre) straight-eight could be ordered with a Schwitzer-Cummins centrifugal supercharger.  The market responded to the speed and the art deco style but the investment had been considerable, something the under-capitalized A-C-D undertook only because the improving economy provided some confidence sales would be sufficient to ensure profitability.  Had the recovery been sustained, A-C-D may have survived, unemployment in 1937 still high but significantly lower in the demographic which was their target market.  As in was, in mid-1937, the US economy suffered a sudden, sharp, recession which would last over a year, the effects lingering until late 1940 when the combined effected of increased armaments production and a presidential election had a simulative effect.  A-C-D, its finances in a perilous state since the Wall Street Crash, couldn’t survive and the companies all entered bankruptcy, Auburn succumbing in 1937.

A-C-D’s fate provides a cautionary tale which for decades was often ignored by those unable to resist the siren call to make beautiful, fast cars bearing their name.  Unless volumes were sufficient (thereby diluting the lure of exclusivity which tended to be much of the attraction) or else subsidized by the profits of some mass-market offering, enduring success was rare and few of those which did initially flourish were capitalized to the extent necessary to survive the inevitable downturns which disproportionally affects those depending on the more self-indulgent sectors sustained by discretionary expenditure.

Hansard

Hansard (pronounced han-sard)

(1) The official verbatim published reports of the debates and proceedings in the British Parliament.  Separate editions are published for both the House of Commons and House of Lords.

(2) A similar report kept by other legislative bodies in other countries, most of which trace their political systems back to colonial origins in the British Empire.

1812: Named after Thomas Curson Hansard, a London printer and publisher, who became the first official printer to the parliament at Westminster.

Prior to 1771, the British parliament was a secretive body, there existed a published official record of action but no record of debate, the publication of anything said on the floor of either house actually a breach of Parliamentary privilege and punishable by a court.  However, as independent newspapers became more numerous, many began publishing unofficial accounts.  Parliament responded with fines, dismissal and imprisonment.  Some editors used the device of styling their reports of debates as those of fictitious societies but parliament continued to resist until 1771 when several judges declined to hear the cases and a number of more far-sighted politicians began to understand how this free publicity could be turned to advantage.  By then, it was not uncommon for speeches to be crafted for the effect they would have when printed, rather than a pieces of oratory intended to impress the house.  The early newspapers, the editors of some which encouraged (and sometimes printed, even if edited) “letter to the editor”, were the slow-motion social medial of the age.

The green and red covers used by the UK Hansards reflect the shades of the leather upholstery in each house.

Eventually, editions of the parliamentary debates were produced by printer Thomas Curson Hansard (1776-1833), issued under his name from 1812.  These were periodicals which circulated by subscription and, in another modern touch, Hansard didn’t employ stenographers to take down notes, instead using a multiplicity of sources most of which were the morning newspapers.  Hansard was thus the Google news feed of the day, an aggregator with the revenue model of on-selling the work of others with no payment to the source.  Google has of late been compelled to offer its sources a few crumbs; Hansard never did.  The early editions of Hansard cannot absolutely be relied upon as a verbatim record of what was said.

In 1909, the parliament established its own staff of official Hansard reporters, a separate office under the auspices of the speaker (Commons) and Lord Chancellor (Lords).  Hansards of today can be thought a comprehensive account of every speech (although one wonders about those of some legislatures with no great tradition of transparency) but the reports are not strictly verbatim but substantially so with repetitions, redundancies (and the odd vulgarity) omitted.  Obvious mistakes (including grammatical errors) are corrected, but nothing can be added or omitted which adds to or detracts from the meaning.  There is some latitude in this: A former Australian prime-minister, the Country Party’s Sir Earle Page (1880-1961; prime minister of Australia 1939) was notorious for quoting whatever figures came into his head, then later providing the correct numbers for inclusion in the official Hansard.

Not all interjections make it into Hansard but the unrecorded homophonous gem of an exchange in the Australian parliament between Sir Winton Turnbull (1899-1980) and Gough Whitlam (1916–2014; prime minister 1972-1975) deserved to:

Sir Winton Turnbull (Country Party, Mallee): "I’m a country member and…"

Mr Gough Whitlam (ALP, Werriwa): "I remember."

List of assemblies which publish Hansards.

Parliament of the United Kingdom and the UK's devolved institutions, Parliament of Canada and the Canadian provincial and territorial legislatures, Parliament of Australia and the Australian state and territory parliaments, Parliament of South Africa and South Africa's provincial legislatures, Parliament of Barbados, East African Legislative Assembly, Parliament of New Zealand, Legislative Council of Hong Kong, Parliament of Malaysia, National Parliament of Papua New Guinea, Parliament of Singapore, Legislative Council of Brunei, Parliament of Sri Lanka, Parliament of Trinidad and Tobago, National Assembly of Kenya, National Assembly of Tanzania, Parliament of Ghana, Parliament of Uganda, Parliament of Mauritius, Parliament of Jamaica, States of Jersey, States of Guernsey, Tynwald, the Parliament of the Isle of Man, National Assembly of Nigeria, National Assembly of Namibia, Parliament of Botswana, Parliament of Zimbabwe.

Lindsay Lohan and Harsard

Lindsay Lohan and the great "slagging off Kettering scandal".

Because her "lifestyle choices" in the early twenty-first century made her name a synecdoche for this and that, Lindsay Lohan has been mentioned in parliamentary proceedings in a number of jurisdictions.  The best known came as one of the few amusing footnotes to the depressing business which was the Brexit referendum, the mechanism through which the UK withdrew from its membership of the European Union (EU), Ms Lohan helpfully keeping the world informed of the vote's progress via tweets on X (the known as Twitter).  One tweet mentioned Kettering and the previously obscure Philip Hollobone (b 1964; Tory MP for Kettering since 2005), knew honor demanded he respond to the actor “slagging off” his constituency.  The offending tweet caught the eye of the outraged MP on that evening in in 2016, after it was announced Kettering (in the Midlands county of Northamptonshire) had voted 61-39% to leave the EU; it read: “Sorry, but Kettering where are you?”

Philip Hollobone MP, official portrait (2020).

Mr Hollobone, a long-time "leaver" (a supporter of Brexit), wasn’t about to let a mean girl "remainer's" (one who opposed Brexit) slag of Kettering escape consequences and he took his opportunity in the House of Commons, saying: “On referendum night a week ago, the pro-Remain American actress, Lindsay Lohan, in a series of bizarre tweets, slagged off areas of this country that voted to leave the European Union.  At one point she directed a fierce and offensive tweet at Kettering, claiming that she had never heard of it and implying that no one knew where it was.  Apart from the fact that it might be the most average town in the country, everyone knows where Kettering is.”  Whether a phrase like “London, Paris, New York, Kettering” was at the time quite as familiar to most as it must have been to Mr Hollobone isn’t clear but he did try to help by offering advice, inviting Miss Lohan to switch on Kettering's Christmas lights that year, saying it would “redeem her political reputation”.  Unfortunately, that proved not possible because of a clash of appointments but thanks to the Tory Party, at least all know the bar has been lowered: Asking where a town sits on the map is now “slagging it off”.  Learning that is an example of why we should all "read our daily Hansards", an observation Mr Whitlam apparently once made, suggesting his estimation of the reading habits of the general population might have differed from reality.

Screen grab from the "apology video" Lindsay Lohan sent the residents of Kettering advising she'd not be able to switch on their Christmas lights because of her "busy schedule".