Vagina & Vulva

Vagina (pronounced vuh-jahy-nuh)

(1) In anatomy & zoology, in many female mammals, the moist, tube-shaped canal part of the reproductive tract which runs from the cervix of the uterus through the vulva (technically between the labia minora) to the outside of the body.

(2) In botany, the sheath formed by the basal part of certain leaves where they embrace the stem.

(3) A sheath-like part or organ (now rare even in technical literature).

(4) In colloquial (and now general) use, the vulva, or the vulva and vaginal passage collectively.

(5) In derogatory colloquial use, an un-masculine man; a weakling (now rare, “pussy” the preferred modern term).

1675-1685: A creation of Medical Latin, a learned borrowing of the Latin vāgīna.  As used in anatomy, the seventeenth century coining was a specialized application of the Latin vāgīna (a sheath, scabbard; a covering, holder; sheath of an ear of grain, hull, husk) of uncertain origin, the suggestion by some etymologists it may have been cognate with the Lithuanian vožiu & vožti (to cover with a hollow thing) dismissed by others as “speculative” or even “gratuitous proposal”.  The use in medicine is exclusive to modern science, the Latin word not used thus during Antiquity.  Vagina is a noun, vaginal & vaginalike are adjectives, vaginally is an adverb; the noun plural is vaginas or vaginae (the old spelling vaginæ is effectively extinct); the part of the anatomy used for copulation & childbirth in female mammals and a similar organ exists in some invertebrates.

A damp Lindsay Lohan demonstrates the “cameltoe” look, Los Angeles, 2009 (left) and NoToe's “Cameltoe Proof Thong” solution (right).

Borrowed from zoology, “cameltoe” is popular modern slang which specifically references the vulva's labia majora, comparing the bifurcated (at certain angles) appearance with the even-toed hoof of a camel, the hooves of the ungulate mammals (known as Artiodactyls) an adaptation to the typically loose, sandy environment in which they evolved.  The slang form (also as camel toe & camel-toe) was re-purposed as “Cameltoe Harris”, a derogatory reference to Kamala Harris (b 1964; VPOTUS (US vice president) 2021-2025), use seemingly dating from 2015 while she was serving in California as attorney-general.  Just as in many fields where “there’s an app for that”, for those wishing to avoid the look, “there are knickers for that”.  Brisbane-based Australian operation NoToe's Cameltoe Proof Thong is made with “a Nylon/Spandex blend”, the design said to be “…breathable, seamless, tagless and roll-free thanks to its silicone grip.  And of course, it's cameltoe proof!”  In addition to removing the cameltoe, the thong also eliminates the dreaded VPL (visible panty line) and the product is “Designed Down Under for Down Under.”  One more gap in the market has been filled so that's good.

The vluva and vagina have for centuries attracted the coining of slang terms, not all of them derogatory.  In idiomatic use “vaginamoney” is (often embittered) slang for alimony, child support etc, money paid by men to ex-partners after the sundering of a relationship.  One slang form which may not survive is "hairy check book" (cheque book outside the US) because (1) checks are declining in use and (2) body-hair fashions have changed.  In psychiatry, the condition vaginaphobic describes “a fear of or morbid aversion to vaginas) and vaginaphile (an admiration for vaginas) is listed by only some dictionaries which is surprising given authors are so often given to write about them and painters are drawn to painting them (in the sense of oil on canvas etc although there’s doubtless a niche for applying paint directly).  Dating from 1908, the term “vagina dentata” entered psychiatry and its popularization is usually attributed Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) although this perception may be attributable to Freud’s works being better known and more widely read, the term used by many in the profession.  The Latin vagina dentata (toothed vagina) referenced the folk mythology in which a woman's vagina contained teeth, the implication being a consequence of sex might be emasculation or at least severe injury.  The tale was also used as a warning about having sex with unknown women and as a way of discouraging rape.  The vivid imagery of a vagina dentata (in somewhat abstract form) was used by the US military as a warning about the dangers of STIs (sexually transmitted infection (once known as sexually transmitted diseases (STD) & VD (venereal disease).  Some writers have speculated on what this revealed about Freud and his much discussed understanding of women.

Vulva (pronounced vuhl-vuh)

(1) The external female genitalia of female mammals (including the labia, mons veneris, clitoris and vaginal orifice.

(2) In helminthology, a protrusion on the side of a nematode (multivulva used to describe a phenotype of nematode characterized by multiple vulvas).

(3) In arachnology, the spermatheca and associated ducts of the female reproductive system (also known as internal epigyne or internal genitalia).

(4) An internal genital structure in female millipedes (known also as the cyphopod).

Late 1300s: A learned borrowing from the Latin vulva, from the earlier volva (womb, female sexual organ) (perhaps in the literal sense of a “wrapper”), from volvere (to turn, twist, roll, revolve (also “turn over in the mind”)), probably from volvō (to turn, to roll, to wrap around), from the primitive Indo-European root wel- (to turn, revolve), the derivatives referring to curved, enclosing objects.  In the 1970s, when Volvo automobiles weren’t noted for their precise handling, journalists enjoyed noted the translation of the Latin volvō as: “I roll”.   It was akin to the Sanskrit उल्ब (úlba) (womb).  The adjectives vulvalike (also vulva-like) & vulviform both describe objects or designs having the shape of a vulva.  Vulva is a noun, vulval, vulvaless, vulviform, vulvar, vulvate & vulvic are adjectives; the noun plural is vulvas, vulvae or vulvæ.

Ms Gillian Anderson’s “vagina dress”

Gillian Anderson, Golden Globes award ceremony 2024.

So much interest was generated by the dress (which the designer dubbed “vulvalicious”) that the handbag (there are those who would insist it’s a “purse”) escaped much attention which was a shame because it was a clever design.  Aquazzura’s Mini Purist Metallic Pouch blends the utilitarian function of the classic night-time mini bag with the swinging style of a shoulder bag, imagined as a semi-circle.  What the adjustable silver shoulder strap afforded was the choice of it being carried off the shoulder or, if removed, used as a conventional handbag, the hard golden top handle folding from the base.  The semi-circle is of course a less than efficient shape for a handbag (or purse) in the sense of a "storage device" but it gives the stylists a nice curve with which to work.  

There’s nothing novel in the critical deconstruction of what appears on red carpets but the dress worn by actor Gillian Anderson (b 1968) at the 2024 Golden Globe ceremony also attracted the attention of word nerds.  Designed by Gabriela Hearst (b 1976), the strapless, ivory corset gown was embroidered with individually stitched embellishments in the shape of vulvas, each of which absorbed some 3½ hours of the embroider’s time.  In an allusion to her sexual wellness brand (G spot), when interviewed, Ms Anderson said she wore the piece: “…for so many reasons. It’s brand appropriate.”  The response in the press and on-line appeared to be (mostly) positive but what did attract criticism was the widespread use of “vagina” to describe the designs, a descriptor used even by Ms Anderson herself.  The more strident of the critics seemed to detect sexual politics in what they claimed was anatomical imprecision, the implication being this lack of respect for gynaecological terminology was casual misogyny: Doubts were cast anyone would dare confuse a scrotum with the testicles.

Annotated anatomical sketch (left) Edsel Citation convertible (centre) and the detail on Gabriela Hearst's gown (right).  Although Ms Anderson probably didn't give the 1958 Edsel a thought, it does illustrate why her use of "vagina" to describe the embroidered motifs is defensible.

The pedants are correct in that technically the “vulva” describes on the external portion of the genitalia that leads to the vagina; the vulva including the labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris.  The labia is also a complex structure which includes the labia majora (the thick, outer folds of skin protecting the vulva’s internal structure) and the labia minora (the thin, inner folds of skin directly above the vagina).  However, for almost a hundred years, the term “vagina” has widely been used to refer to the vulva and has come to function as a synecdoche for the entire female genitalia and so prevalent has the use become that even medical professionals use “vagina” thus unless great precision is required.  Still, given Ms Anderson’s brand is concerned with such matters, perhaps the historically correct use might have been better but the actor herself noted “…it has vaginas on it” so linguistically, her proprietorial rights should be acknowledged.

The Edsel, the grill and the myths

1958 Edsel Citation convertible.

Although it went down in industrial history as one of capitalism’s most expensive failures, objectively, Ford Motor Corporation’s Edsel really wasn’t a dramatically worse car than the company’s companion brands Ford & Mercury.  Indeed that was one of the reasons for the failure in the market; sharing platforms, engines, transmissions, suspension and some body parts with Fords & Mercurys, the thing simply lacked sufficient product differentiation.  That sharing of components (and assembly plants; Ford sending the Edsels down the existing production lines in the same factories) also makes it hard to believe the often quoted US$300 million (between US$2.5-3 billion expressed in 2025 values) Ford booked as a loss against the abortive venture as anything but an opportunity taken by the accountants to dump all the bad news in one go, certain taxation advantages also able to be gained with this approach. 

1959 Edsel Corsair two-door hardtop.

The very existence of Edsel was owed to a system devised by Alfred P Sloan (1875–1966) while president of General Motors (GM).  Sloan is now mostly forgotten by all but students of industrial & economic history but he was instrumental in the development some of the concepts which underpinned the modern economy including frequent product changes (for no functional purpose), planned obsolescence and consumer credit.  What the "Sloan ladder" did was provide GM’s customers with a structured incremental status indicator, defined by a range of products (with substantial cross-amortization) at price points which encouraged them to “step up” to the next level as disposable income increased.  At one point, GM’s brand-range had nine rungs but the Great Depression of the 1930s necessitated some pruning and, after a cull in 1931 cut the brands to six, what eventually emerged after 1940 was a five rung system which would be sustained until the twenty-first century: Chevrolet, Pontiac, Oldsmobile, Buick & Cadillac.  In the 1950s, when the US economy enjoyed the unusual conjunction of rising incomes, stable prices and a remarkably (by both historic and contemporary standards) small disparity between the wealth of rich and poor, this produced the swelling middle class which was the target market for most consumer products and certainly those on the Sloan ladder.  Ford had in 1938 added a rung when the Mercury brand was spliced between Ford and Lincoln but in the mid 1950s, the MBAs convinced the company the Sloan system was the key to GM’s lead in the market and they too re-structured the company’s products into five rungs: Ford, Mercury, Edsel, Lincoln & Continental.  Actually, in a harbinger, the loss-making Continental Division lasted barely two seasons, folded into Lincoln before the Edsel debuted for the 1958 model year but the MBAs kept the faith.

1958 Edsel (left) and 1958 Oldsmobile (right).  One can see why someone at Time magazine thought of "an Oldsmobile sucking a lemon".

That faith turned out to be misplaced although in fairness to them, the circumstances in 1958 were unfortunate, a short but sharp recession shocking consumers who had become accustomed to growth and stability, believing that such unpleasantness belonged to the pre-war past.  The Edsel never recovered.  Although sales in 1958 were disappointing, given the state of the economy, it could have been worse but Ford’s market research (focus groups a thing even then) had identified problems and in response toned down the styling and moved the brand down-market, notionally to sit between Ford & Mercury, a gap which in retrospect didn’t exist.  Sales dropped that year by about a third and the writing was on the wall although, surprising many, a pared-down Edsel range was released for 1960 using Ford’s re-styled bodies but not many were fooled and fewer than 3000 left the factory before late in 1959 the end of the brand quietly was announced.

1938 Frazer-Nash BMW 328 Roadster with the grill's centre bars in non-standard red (top left), 1959 BMW 507 (top right), 1971 BMW 3.0 CSL (E9), one of the 169 first series leichtbau (light construction) CSLs with twin downdraft Zenith carburetors) (bottom left) and 2022 BMW M4-Competition-xDrive Convertible (G82, bottom right).

Ford might have felt the Edsel was criticized unfairly (at least on a anatomical basis) because, since the 303 in 1933, BMW had been fitting grills which blatantly were “cameltoesque” in appearance although perhaps they escaped opprobrium because it wasn’t until 1962 with the release of 1500 (the so-called Neue Klasse (New Class, 1962-1972)) the design assumed aspect ratios close to that of the typical human female, exemplified by the elegant E9 coupés (1968-1975).  BMW also came to use physiology as a descriptor for the style but delved deeper, preferring the gender-neutral “twin kidney”.  Interestingly, for the lovely 507 roadsters (1956-1959) the twin apertures were stretched wide and the look was greeted with acclaim (Pontiac, with aplomb, taking up the “twin-grill” concept) and it wasn’t until BMW's huge, gaping apparatuses appeared in the twenty-first century that the style Nazis condemned the look as “absurd”.  The deep and wide-set grills of the BMWs of the 2020s are the cameltoe at scale and for those who question the anatomical reference because they doubt “wide set vaginas” are a thing, their existence was confirmed in Mean Girls (2004).

1969 BMW 2000 C (left) as the factory did it and as re-imagined with a grill in the twenty-first century style (right).

Architecturally, a half-century before the G82, BMW had the space to anticipate the M4’s “wide-set” look.  The E9’s predecessor was a coupé based on the Neue Klasse platform with the four-cylinder engine enlarged to 2.0 litres (121 cubic inch) and offered as the 2000 C (single carburetor) and 2000 CS (twin carburetor) between 1965-1969.  The new coupé replaced the low-volume and expensive 3200 CS (1962-1965) which had been powered by a 3.2 litre (193 cubic inch) V8 and the most commented upon aspect of the design was the frontal styling, the word upon which most critics settled being “polarizing”.  It was the then unusual headlight treatment which induced the “love it or hate it” feelings, the chrome-framed asymmetric glass fairing something which would later become familiar but in 1965 it was “the shock of the new”.  Between the fairings there was a lot of space but BMW didn’t then take the opportunity to tempt buyers with the “wide-set vagina” look which would have to wait for the next century, instead maintaining a familial link with the grill on the Neue Klasse sedans.  The styling of the 2000 C is regarded now as an interesting period piece and an example of something which might have been a trend-setter but the industry went in other directions, one of which was the E9 which remains BMW’s finest achievement.

The wide-set and the Brazilian.

Recently, it emerged there can be financial implications for the wide-set (ie those who anatomically identify more with the BMW M4 than the 3.0 CSL).  The details were revealed in a text message between a beauty salon operative (the waxer) and her client (the waxee) who had just enjoyed (the verb used in the sense of "to have had the use or benefit of something") the application of a Brazilian (an ellipsis of “Brazilian wax”, a specific style of pubic hair removal in which only a narrow strip or triangle of growth is retained on the mons pubis).  What the waxer advised was: “Just in future I’ll have to charge you a little more for the size of the area.  I hope that makes sense, nothing crazy, like $5 or $10 extra.”  The waxer’s rationale for that was based on the waxee having a FUPA (fatty upper pubic area, a normal variation in human anatomy rather than a condition) which means a greater surface area.  That, in the context of performing a Brazilian, demands (1) a higher consumption of consumable product (wax), (2) more time required to apply wax and (3) more time required to remove wax.  Reaction on social media was mixed, a few arguing the economics justified the surcharge although most condemned the waxer and though the pricing should be universal with, over time, the relative few needing more wax being balanced out by the relative few needing less.

1960 Edsel Ranger Sedan.  By 1960, the Edsel really was a "blinged-up" Ford and the 34 days it was in production happened only to fulfil contractual obligations and avoid tiresome legal proceedings.

Although it began as something more than a "blinged-up" Ford, the Edsel wasn't that much more and it failed because for such a hyped product it was a disappointment and in that it can be compared to something like the administration of Barack Obama (b 1961; POTUS (US president) 2009-2017).  Barack Obama was not a bad president and he didn’t lead a bad government, indeed most objective analysts rate his term as “above average” (the perhaps biased Donald Trump (b 1946; POTUS 2017-2021 and since 2025) dissenting from this view) but he disappointed because he promised so much, the soaring rhetoric (“highfalutin nonsense” as the press baron Lord Beaverbrook (1879-1964) would have put it) offering hope and change never realized.  There was also the Edsel’s styling.  There was much clumsiness in the detailing (although almost the whole US industry was similarly afflicted in 1958) but the single most polarizing aspect was the vertical grill assembly, controversial not because it was a regression to something which had become unfashionable in the “longer, lower, wider” era but because of the shape which to some suggested a woman’s vulva.  Some used the words “vagina” or “genitalia” but in those more polite times some publications were reluctant to use such words in print and preferred to suggest the grill resembled a “horse collar” or “toilet seat” although the latter was (literally) a bit of a stretch and anyway already used of some of the trunk (boot) lids on Chryslers styled to excess by Virgil Exner (1909–1973); more memorable was Time magazine’s “an Oldsmobile sucking a lemon”.

Quirkiness coming & going: 1958 Edsel Bermuda “Woody” station wagon.

The “woody” nickname was applied to the station wagons from all manufacturers although after the early 1950s the “wood” was a combination of fibreglass and the DI-NOC plastic appliqué, the look intended to evoke that of the partially timbered-bodied station wagons in production until the early 1950s.  Strangely, Chrysler and Mercury in the 1960s even did a few convertibles with the stuff glued on (recalling some earlier such things from the 1940s which used real wood), the former later unable to resist the temptation for the vaguely cartoonesque LeBaron Town & Country convertible (1983-1984).  Ford’s attempt in the 1960s to persuade British & Australian buyers of station wagons DI-NOC was charming proved brief and unsuccessful but in the domestic market the popularity lasted until 1990s.  As much as the sedans and convertibles, Edsel station wagons were just as unwanted.  The Bermuda was offered only for the 1958 model year and it sold a dismal 2,235, with 779 of the nine-seater version with an additional row of seating in the rear section, a configuration always popular with US buyers in the era of larger families and before the age of mini-vans and SUVs (sports utility vehicles).  The three-row Bermuda was the rarest of the 1958 Edsels but collectors still price them below the convertibles, reflecting the usual practice in which (with the odd exception), convertible coach-work trumps all other styles.  If the vulva-themed front end was confronting, there was a strangeness too at the rear, the turn-indicator lights in the shape of an arrow, a traditional symbol to indicate one's intended direction of travel but bizarrely, the Edsel’s arrows pointed the opposite way, something necessitated by the need to blend the shape with that of the body’s side moldings.  In little more than two years, Edsel went from "too much, too soon", to "too little, too late".

1959 Edsel Villager 6 passenger Station Wagon.

Like the grill, for 1959 the tail of the station wagon was toned-down from bizarre to baroque.  It didn’t much stimulate demand and only 5,687 were sold while in the same season, Ford shifted 147,748 station wagons (123,412 Country Sedans & 24,336 Country Squires).  In 1958 the relationship between the Villager & Bermuda had reflected that of Ford’s Country Sedan to the more expensive (and DI-NOCed) Country Squire and while Ford would for decades top the station wagon sales charts, after 1960 the only more expensive versions offered by the corporation would be Mercurys.  As a footnote, along with the Ranger, the Villager did survive as part of the quixotic 1960 range when a mere 275 left the line, lending it the dubious distinction of being the rarest Edsel station wagon.  Despite that usually compelling statistic, collectors still prefer the 1958 & 1959 wagons, probably because the 1960 models lack the distinctive grill which is the most identifiable part of an Edsel's once dubious "brand identity".

A J.D. Vance meme with sofa (in US memes referred to usually as a "couch").

The Edsel ran its historic race more than a decade before the Watergate scandal so there was never a "grillgate" or "Edselgate" but the vulva did in 2024 return to the news with couchgate-themed memes.  In July that year, a post appeared on X (formerly known as Twitter) claiming there was a passage in J.D. Vance’s (b 1984; VPOTUS since 2025) book Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis (2016) in which the then US senator (Republican-Ohio) boasted of having enjoyed a sexual act with a latex glove, strategically placed between a sofa’s cushions.

It was fake news and nothing in the book even hinted at such an experience but quickly the post went viral; it once could take years for urban myths to spread around a few counties but in the social media age such things wiz around the planet in minutes.  Quickly the tale was debunked but couchgate was a popular choice among the meme-makers and it says something about US politics that so many really wanted to believe "couchgate" was true.  Whether latex glove sales spiked because suddenly there were those wishing to experience the hopefully novel technique, isn't known.

Heavy duty (HD), neoprene-coated latex gloves (medium/large) from Walmart.

After Pope Francis (1936-2025; pope 2013-2025) died, posts began to circulate noting that hours before he dropped dead he'd had an audience with recent Catholic-convert J.D. Vance and comparisons were made with the death of Elizabeth II (1926-2022; Queen of the UK 1952-2022) coming barely two days after meeting Liz Truss (b 1975; UK prime-minister Sep-Oct 2022).  The pope of course was head of the Roman Catholic Church and the queen was Supreme Governor of the Church of England and it seemed striking both should succumb so soon after the pleasure of their conversation with a right-wing fanatic.  It must be assumed both events were just bad luck but Mr Vance is a serious convert to the faith and better-acquainted than most with Roman Catholic theology and he'll be familiar with the "visitation of the angel of death", a figure sent by God to tap on the shoulder one for whom the time has come to quit the world.

For most of the republic's existence, holders of the office of vice-president tended to be obscure figures noted only if they turned out to be crooks like Spiro Agnew (1918–1996; VPOTUS 1969-1973) or assumed the presidency in one circumstance or another and during the nineteenth century there was a joke about two brothers: “One ran off to sea and the other became vice-president; neither were ever heard from again.”  That was an exaggeration but it reflected the general view of the office which has few formal duties and can only ever be as powerful or influential as a president allows although the incumbent is “a heartbeat from the presidency”.  John Nance Garner III (1868–1967, VPOTUS 1933-1941), a reasonable judge of these things, once told Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; VPOTUS 1961-1963 & POTUS 1963-1969) being VPOTUS was “not worth a bucket of warm piss” (which in polite company usually is sanitized as “...bucket of warm spit”).  In the US, a number of VPOTUSs have become POTUS  and some have worked out well although of late the record has not been encouraging, the presidencies of Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961, POTUS 1969-1974) and Joe Biden (b 1942; VPOTUS 2008-2017, POTUS 2021-2025) all ending badly, in despair, disgrace and decrepitude respectively.

Still, in the post-war years, the VPOTUS has often assumed a higher profile or been judged to be more influential, the latter certainly true of Dick Cheney (b 1941; VPOTUS 2001-2009) and some have even been given specific responsibilities such as LBJ’s role as titular head of the space program (which worked out well) or Kamala Harris co-ordinating the response to difficulties on the southern border (a role in which either she failed or never attempted depending on the source).  So wonderfully unpredictable is Donald Trump that quite what form the Vance VPOTUSship will assume is guesswork but conspiracy theorists already are speculating part of MAGA forward-planning is to have Mr Vance elected POTUS in 2028, simply as part of a work-around in a constitutional jigsaw puzzle.

The conspiracy revolves around the words in Section 1 of the Twenty-second Amendment: “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice” and even the most optimistic MAGA lawyers concede not even Brett Kavanaugh (b 1965; SCOTUS associate justice since 2018) or Clarence Thomas (b 1948; SCOTUS associate justice since 1991) could construct an interpretation which would allow Mr Trump to be elected for a third term (although Justice Thomas might make a heroic attempt).  The constitution is however silent on whether any person may serve a third (or fourth, or fifth!) term so that makes possible the following sequence:

(1) In the 2028 election J.D.Vance is elected POTUS and somebody else (matters not who) is elected VPOTUS.

(2) In 2029, J.D. Vance and somebody else (matters not who) are sworn into office as POTUS & VPOTUS respectively.

(3) Somebody else (matters not who) resigns as VPOTUS.

(4) J.D. Vance appoints Donald Trump as VPOTUS who is duly sworn-in.

(5) J.D. Vance resigns as POTUS and, as the constitution dictates, Donald Trump becomes POTUS and is duly sworn-in.

(6) Donald Trump appoints J.D.Vance as VPOTUS.

Whatever the politics, constitutionally, there is nothing controversial about those six steps because there’s a precedent, the sequence following what happened between 1968 when Nixon & Agnew were elected POTUS and VPOTUS and 1974 when the offices were held respectively by Gerald Ford (1913–2006; VPOTUS 1973-1974 & POTUS 1974-1977) and Nelson Rockefeller (1908–1979; VPOTUS 1974-1977), neither of the latter pair having been elected.  Of course, in January 2029 somebody else (matters not who) would be a “left-over” but he (it seems a reasonable assumption somebody else (matters not who) will be male) can, depending on this and that, be appointed something like secretary of agriculture or a to sinecure such as an ambassadorship to a nice (non-shit-hole) country with a pleasant climate and a majority white population.

Fluke

Fluke (pronounced flook)

(1) In nautical jargon, the part of an anchor that catches in the ground, especially the flat triangular piece at the end of each arm (also called flue).

(2) A barb, or the barbed head, of a harpoon, spear, arrow etc (also called flue).

(3) A metal hook on the head of certain staff weapons (such as a bill), made in various forms depending on function, whether used for grappling or to penetrate armour when swung at an opponent.

(4) In metal casting, a wing-like formation on a central piece (similar to a spur and often a product of the vesting process to be filed off.

(5) In industrial processing, waste cotton.

(6) Either half (the triangular lobes) of the tail of cetacean (whales, dolphins, porpoises and such).

(7) An accidental advantage; a stroke of good luck; a fortuitous event.

(8) An accident or chance happening.

(9) In cue sports (billiards and such), a successful shot, achieved wholly by accident.

(10) In ichthyology, any of several American flounders of the genus Paralichthys, found in the Atlantic Ocean; used loosely, any of various other flatfishes (an often used an an alternative name for the flounder).

(11) Any parasitic flatworm (notably the blood fluke and liver fluke), of the classes Monogenea and Digenea (formerly united in a single class Trematoda (as trematodes)).

Pre 900: From the Middle English flok, fluke & flewke, from the Old English flōcand cognate with the Old Norse flōki; It may be compared with the and the Old High German flah (flat (source of the modern German flach)), from the Proto-Germanic flakaz although for technical reasons related to the phonetics, etymologists seem to prefer a link with the Middle Low German vlögel (wing) and Germanic vlōch & vlucht (used in the sense of both “wing” & “flight”) or even vlunke (the modern Low German Flunk (wing, pinion)).  The modern use in German of fluke to describe the tail of whales and such is thought to be borrowed from English.  The use of fish came from the Old English flōc (flatfish), of Germanic origin, related to the German flach (flat), the Old Saxon flaka (sole), the Old High German flah (smooth) and the Old Norse floke (flatfish, flounder, flak, floe; disk), all ultimately from Proto-Germanic flakaz, from the primitive Indo European root plak- (to be flat).  The parasitic worm was so named in the 1660s by virtue of the distinctive (flat) shape.  Fluke is a noun & verb, flukishness is a noun, fluking is a verb, fluked is a verb & adjective, flukeless, fulkesque, flukelike, flukier, flukish, fluky, flukier & flukiest are adjectives and flukily is an adverb; the noun plural is flukes (the plural fluke used of the fish; flukes used otherwise including of the flatworms).

Lawyer and feminist activist, Sandra Fluke (b 1981), Ms magazine, Vol XXII, No 2, Spring-Summer 2012.

The use to describe the components of anchors, harpoons and such dates from the mid-sixteenth century and is of obscure origin, most etymologists concluding it was adopted cognizant of the original sense of “flat”, the reference used originally of the flat, pointed end of a anchor and that may have been picked up either from fluke in the sense of “the flatfish” (based on the shape) or from the Low German flügel (wing).  What is certain is the anchor’s triangular fitting was transferred to the tails of whales (and later other cetaceans), that in use by at least 1725.  Fluke has been used in the sense of “a lucky stroke, a chance hit” only since 1857 (when it appeared in the press also as “flook” and the origin is obscure although most sources suggest it came from billiards.  The speculative theories include (1) a reference to a whale's use of flukes rapidly to propel themselves in the ocean, (2) a re-purposing of the contemporary sailors slang “going-a-flunking” (to sail quickly; to go fast) or (3) an English dialectal origin (in the sense of “a guess”).  The adjective fluky (depending on chance rather than skill (“pure ass” a modern form)) was in use by at least 1867.  The “fluke” usually is something “lucky or fortuitous” but there are also the idiomatic phrases “fluke out”, “flukes out”, “fluking out” & “fluked out” which is “to lose or fail due to a fluke; to deserve to win or succeed but instead lose due to a fluke, especially a last-minute or unpredictable fluke” and thus connected with the notion of “defeat from the jaws of victory”.  The “fluke up” (also as “flukes up”, “fluking up” & “fluked up”) is not dependent on the existence of a “fluke” (in any sense) but means “to mess up; to blunder; to fail” and is a polite form of “fuck up”.  The special coinings flukicide & flukicidal are used in relation to the killing of the parasitic fluke worms.

Fluke Networks Cable Tester RJ45, LinkIQ (Part Number LIQ-KIT).

Fluke Corporation is a highly-regarded US manufacturer of industrial test, measurement and diagnostic equipment best known for their electronic test gear.  The company was founded in 1948 by John Fluke (1911-1984), then working at General Electric (GE).

In medical use, the variations include bile fluke (Clonorchis sinensis), blood fluke (Schistosomatidae spp.), bladder fluke (Schistosoma haematobium), cat liver fluke (Opisthorchis felineus), cecal fluke (Postharmostomum gallinum), Chinese liver fluke (Clonorchis sinensis), deer fluke (Fascioloides magna), lancet fluke (and lancet liver fluke) (Dicrocoelium dendriticum), sheep liver fluke (Fasciola hepatica),  lung fluke (Paragonimus spp.), giant intestinal fluke (Fasciolopsis buski) and giant liver fluke (Fascioloides magna); the last two sounding most ominous.  In ichthyology, the names include bannock fluke (Rhombus maximus), Gulf fluke (Paralichthys albiguttus), long fluke (Hippoglossoides limandoides), pole fluke (Glyptocephalus cynoglossus), sail fluke (Lepidorhombus whiffiagonis), American fluke (Fascioloides magna) and sand fluke (Hippoglossoides limandoides).

Poster for Just My Luck (2006, left) and four of the shots (right) from the roll taken by Larry Schwartzwald on Madison Avenue in 2005.

Being one of the industry’s notorious nictators, it was perhaps something not especially flukish when a paparazzo took a photograph of Lindsay Lohan winking but what was a fluke was the shot was perfect for a movie poster, the thought being the wink was a midliminal device which convey the message “you will have a marvellously good time if you watch this film” and the starlet must have agreed because for a while, the wink became her signature gesture.  According to the authoritative PosterWire, Ms Lohan sat for a photo shoot so promotional shots would be ready for the release (even wearing an auburn wig because she had by then entered her famous blonde phase) but the studio rejected what was offered because they were “too high style which was not the vibe of the film.”  Another photo session was scheduled but then someone remembered the paparazzi “winking shot”; not only did it become the poster but it also inspired the film’s tag line: “Everything changed in the wink of an eye.”  The shot used for Just My Luck (2006) was taken the previous year on Madison Avenue by New York Post photographer Larry Schwartzwald (1953-2021) who had the untypical background (among the paparazzi) of studying literature at New York University and, as he proved, “everything is text”.

Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021; president elect 2024), Butler, Pennsylvania, 13 July 2024, the “blood shot” (left) and the “bullet shot” (right), both by Doug Mills (b 1960), who has shot (in the photographic sense) every president since Ronald Reagan (1911-2004; US president 1981-1989).

The “blood shot” is destined to become one of the images of twenty-first US politics and while in many ways “perfect”, it’s really not a “fluke” because at that point, every photographer on site was snapping away and something similar was guaranteed to emerge.  Noting the injury was to Mr Trump’s right ear, some immediately dubbed the “bullet shot” the “In one ear and out the other” but it was a genuine fluke because if snapped a millisecond earlier or later, the “speeding bullet” would not have been in the frame; a “one in a million” (at least) shot and therefore flukish.

Syncategorematic

Syncategorematic (pronounced sin-kat-i-gawr-uh-mat-ik or sin-kat-i-gor-uh-mat-ik)

(1) In traditional logic, of or relating to a word that is part of a categorical proposition but is not a term, as all, some, is (applying to expressions not in any of Aristotle's categories, but form meaningful expressions together with them, such as conjunctions and adverbs).

(2) In contemporary logic, of or relating to a word or symbol that has no independent meaning and acquires meaning only in the context of other words or symbols, as the symbol (or the word of).

1820–1830: From the Late Latin syncatēgorēmat-, stem of syncatēgorēma (part of a discourse that needs another word to become fully intelligible).  The construct was syn- +‎ categorematic.  The syn- prefix (used also as syl- (if preceding a “l” and sym- (if preceding a “b”, “m” or “p”) was from the Ancient Greek συν- (sun-), from σύν (sún) (with, in company with, together with) and may be compare with the Sanskrit सम्- (sam-).  It was appended to create forms with the meanings (1) identical, (2) with, together, or (3) concomitant.  Categorematic was from the Ancient Greek κατηγορῆμα (katēgorēma) (predicate; or something that is affirmed) from the verb κατηγορέω (katēgoreō) (to accuse, assert, or predicate).  The Latinized version of this root (categorema) was adopted by English and was the source of the familiar word “category” (and derivatives).  With the mix of Greek and Latin influences, syncategorematic is one of those words the more fastidious purists dislike.

The suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate & senate).  Those that came to English via French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or later to indicate the long vowel.  It can also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as desolate, moderate & separate).  Again, often they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after circa 1400; a doublet of –ee.  The construct of the –atic suffix was –at(e) +‎ -ic; it was a doublet of –age and an alternative form of –tic.  The -ic suffix was from the Middle English -ik, from the Old French -ique, from the Latin -icus, from the primitive Indo-European -kos & -ḱos, formed with the i-stem suffix -i- and the adjectival suffix -kos & -ḱos.  The form existed also in the Ancient Greek as -ικός (-ikós), in Sanskrit as -इक (-ika) and the Old Church Slavonic as -ъкъ (-ŭkŭ); A doublet of -y.  In European languages, adding -kos to noun stems carried the meaning "characteristic of, like, typical, pertaining to" while on adjectival stems it acted emphatically; in English it's always been used to form adjectives from nouns with the meaning “of or pertaining to”.  A precise technical use exists in physical chemistry where it's used to denote certain chemical compounds in which a specified chemical element has a higher oxidation number than in the equivalent compound whose name ends in the suffix -ous; (eg sulphuric acid (H₂SO₄) has more oxygen atoms per molecule than sulphurous acid (H₂SO₃).  Used in linguistics (of a term), syncategorematic describes those terms which demand the appending of other terms to make a meaningful constituent of language; in th more arcane corners of the field, there are terms said to be (the comparative) “more syncategorematic” and (the superlative) most syncategorematic.  Syncategorematic & syncategorematical are adjectives, syncategoreme & syncategorematicity are nouns and syncategorematically is an adverb; the noun plural is syncategoremes or syncategorematicities (the latter apparently not in use).

Sentence: “The girl’s legs were under the table.”  The preposition “under” is syncategorematic because it describes the spatial relationship between her “legs” and the “table” but in isolation, “under” has no meaning.

It’s a long word and the definition might seem convoluted but in English syncategorematic words are in common, everyday use.  In traditional logic, it denotes a word unable to sustain useful meaning if standing alone but must be joined to a categorematic term in order to enter a categorical proposition; “some”, “and” & “all” are among those used most frequently.  In modern logic, the sense was extended to any symbol with no independent meaning.  Some terms which seem grammatically categorematic are often classed as syncategorematic, especially those which are in some way “value loaded” attributive adjectives (such as “good” or “large”).  Neither “good, nor “large” possess independent meaning whereas “red” and “is a Ferrari” are so vested; something can simply be “red” but it there is nothing which can be understood from “large” as a stand-alone term.  Meaning is attained only when something is added because the meaning comes from the sense of being relative-to-something (a “large bacterium” may be big enough to be the biggest bacterium ever seen but, comparatively, it’s nothing close to the size of a “large elephant”.

Sentence: “A girl is sitting on the floor.”  Both “a” and “the” are syncategorematic; they modify the nouns “girl” and “map” but do not, when standing alone, impart meaning.

The common examples of syncategorematic terms in English can be classified into a number of categories: (1) Logical Operators: (and, or, not, if, then) which structure logical relationships between propositions; (2) Articles: (the, a, an) which specify definiteness or indefiniteness but lack standalone meaning; (3) Prepositions: (in, on, at, by, with) which indicate relationships between nouns or pronouns but do not on their own impart meaning; (4) Conjunctions: (and, but, or, because) which connect clauses or ideas; (5) Quantifiers: (all, some, none, many, few) which express quantity or extent without referring to a specific entity; (6) Negations: (not, no) which modify the meaning of other terms or clauses and (7) Adverbs of Degree: (very, quite, somewhat, too) which modify adjectives or adverbs to indicate intensity or degree.

There are nuances in use such as the legendary exchange which gave language the word “laconic” (using few words; expressing much in few words).  In Antiquity, Laconia was the region inhabited and ruled by the Spartans, known for their brevity in speech and in English, the meaning “concise, abrupt” emerged in the 1580s (although laconical was created and went extinct a decade earlier).  The origin of this sense was when Philip II of Macedon (382–336 BC; king (basileus) of Macedonia 359-336) threatened the Spartans with the words: "If I enter Laconia, I will raze Sparta to the ground." to which the Spartans replied: "If.”  In that case, the meaning is derived from the context, a case in which “if” (usually syncategorematic) has meaning as a superficially single, stand-alone word.

Recto & Verso

Recto (pronounced rek-toh)

(1) A right-hand page of an open book or manuscript (almost always bearing the odd numbers); the front of a leaf.

(2) The front of a loose sheet of printed paper

1815–1825: A clipping of the Late Latin phrase rēctō foliō (on the right-hand (leaf or page)), ablative of the Latin rēctus (in this context “right”).  Recto is a noun; the noun plural is rectos.  The Latin rēctus (past participle of the verb “regere” (to rule; to guide; to straighten) and perfect passive participle of regō (to keep or lead straight, to guide)) was from the Proto-Italic rektos, corresponding to the primitive Indo-European hreǵtós (having moved in a straight line), from reǵ- (to move in a straight line; to direct).  It was used to mean “straight”, “upright” and “correct” as well as “right”.  In general use it was used in the sense of “right, correct, proper, appropriate, befitting with a particular emphasis on “morally right, correct, lawful, just, virtuous, noble, good, proper, honest”.  The association with “straightness” and “rightness” also influenced other derivatives in Latin and Romance languages, such as rectum (straight (and its use in anatomy)), rectitude (moral uprightness) and words in modern languages (rectify, direct et al).

Verso (pronounced vur-soh)

(1) A left-hand page of an open book or manuscript (almost always bearing the even numbers); the back of a leaf.

(2) The back of a loose sheet of printed paper.

(3) In numismatics, the side of a coin opposite to the obverse (the reverse)

1830–1840: A clipping of the New Latin phrase versō foliō (the leaf having been turned; the turned side of the leaf; on the turned leaf), the construct built with the Latin verb vertere (to turn; to revolve; to change) + folium (a leaf). 

Vertere ultimately was from the primitive Indo-European root wert- (to turn; to rotate).  Verso was the ablative form of versus (turned; facing; a line or verse in poetry, (originally meaning “a turning of the plow”), thus, as used in versō foliō , the reference was to the back (reverse) side of a page in a book or manuscript (as opposed to the recto (the front side).  The primitive Indo-European root wert- also provided the ultimate source of a number of related words in Indo-European languages, all of which is some way emphasize the concept of “turning” or “change”, the modern descendants including verse, invert, revert, and versatile, all of which preserve the idea of turning or changing orientation.  Verso is a noun; the noun plural is versos.

Recto is the front (right) and verso the back (left) side of a leaf of paper in something assembled permanently (ie bound or in some way joined permanently at the spine) in a book, codex or such.  The terms have always been used to refer to the finished article, not the material used in production.  This was not something of significance when books were assembled from single sheets which then were bound but in mechanical printing, it became common for larger sheets (the folium) to be printed with many pages, later to be folded (prior to binding) so the numbers on those larger sheets weren’t sequential when the page was flat but became so when folded.  Rēctō foliō (on the right side of the leaf) and versō foliō (on the back side of the leaf were thus created in the bindery, not by the scribe).  The use of the terms for loose leaf sheets came later.

Recto & Verso are sometimes referred to as part of the architecture or archeology of printing, correctly, they’re an aspect of codicology (the study of codices) and there is some academic dispute about the origins, the Australian historian Martyn Lyons (b 1946) suggesting the term rēctum (right, correct, proper) for the front side of a leaf was derived from the use of papyrus in late antiquity, based on a different grain running across each side with on one suitable for writing upon (the “correct”, smooth side).  In an echo of that, even modern paper has a “grain” (by virtue of the way the pulp is laid in the production process) and when using heavily textured bond paper, the most fastidious technicians ensure the stock is “laid” the “correct” way.  Recto and verso are reversed when language read right-to-left are used (so regardless of language, the verso is read first).  In publishing, the convention is for the first page of a book (page 1) to be a recto so almost all recto pages have odd numbers and all versos even numbers.

On-line editions of publications are not simply digital replications of the layout used in print where the recto-verso model remains in use.  The migration to screens has been cited as the prime reason the “two-page spread” is now less common in print.

With the coming of computers, pages came to be viewed on screens and as technology improved, it became possible to display two pages, side-by-side, thereby permitting publications such as pictorial magazines to maintain the recto-verso model and for readers to consume the content presented in the same visual format as the printed edition.  However, the screens of eBook readers, smartphones and tablets have a smaller surface area than the typical computer monitor and tend to be optimized for single-page display (although may do have a two-page option).  For that reason, publications which maintain both traditional print editions and on-line versions, have been compelled to create a different visual model for each format (there can be several) because the old “two-page spread” simply doesn’t work was well, viewed a page at a time.  The layout of on-line content is not simply a replication of a print edition (which follows the classic recto-verso model) and it seems clear the small has had a great influence on the large.

Louis Vuitton Recto Verso in Monogram Empreinte leather (left) and Louis Vuitton Pochette Cles (Vivienne collectors edition). 

Lindsay Lohan with Louis Vuitton Pochette Cles (key pouch) from LV’s Vuitton Monogram Charms collection.  

Among the many problems troubling the world, some have to ponder whether to buy a Louis Vuitton Recto Verso card holder or a Louis Vuitton Pochette Cles (key pouch), two items similar in size and function.  LV describes the Pochette Cles as a “…playful yet practical accessory that can carry coins, cards, folded bills and other small items, in addition to keys. Secured with an LV-engraved zip, it can be hooked onto the D-ring inside most Louis Vuitton bags, or used as a bag or belt charm.”  The Recto Verso is said to be a “…versatile accessory offers multiple practical features, including a flap pocket, a zipped compartment with a wide, L-shaped opening, and four card slots. It also has a concealed hook and chain which allow it to be attached to a bag or belt.”

Amber Ashleigh’s guide to choosing between Louis Vuitton's Retro Verso and Pochette Cles (Key Pouch).

The retail price of the Retro Verso is between US$590-720 while the Pochette Cles lists between US$320-410 (the price varying with the material used in the construction) and while the solution obviously is to buy at least one of each, not all modern young spinsters can afford that so they should watch Amber Ashleigh’s invaluable guide.  Ms Ashleigh says this is among her “most requested videos.”