Tea Tray

Tea Tray (pronounced tee-trey)

(1) A tray used to carry a tea service.

(2) A tray of this type used for related purposes.

(3) The accepted descriptor of certain rear spoilers on some Porsches.

Mid-late 1600s: Trays in one form or another are probably one of mankind’s earliest inventions and the creation of the “tea tray” reflected the popularity of the brewed leaf and the place it assumed in polite society as the rich were able to purchase elaborate “tea services” (cups, saucers, milk jugs, tea pots, strainers et al).  In England and Europe, the “taking of tea” in such circles was sometimes formalized    

The noun tea entered English in the late sixteenth century, from the Dutch thee, from the Amoy (Xiamen) dialect of Hokkien 茶 (written both as “tê” & “t’e”), akin to the Chinese chá, from Old Chinese, thought ultimately from the primitive Sino-Tibetan s-la (leaf, tea).  It was the merchants of the Dutch East India Company (based in what is modern-day Indonesia) who after 1610 brought the leaf (and thus the word “tea”) to England and other parts of Western Europe.  The traders obtained the leaf in Amoy (the Malay teh was shipped along the same trade routes). The doublets chai and cha are from the same root.  Served in Paris by at least 1635, tea was introduced in England by 1644.  The spelling “tea” wasn’t at first the default, the variations including tay, thea, tey & tee and the popular early pronunciation seem to have been to rhyme with obey, the familiar modern tee not predominate until the late eighteenth century.  The Russian chai, the Persian cha, the Greek tsai, the Arabic shay and the Turkish çay all came overland from the Mandarin form.  The meaning “afternoon meal at which tea is served” dates from 1738 and is still used in certain regions to mean “evening meal” in the sense other use “dinner” (historically, for these folk “dinner was served around midday).  In US use, tea was slang for “marijuana” during the 1930s (apparently an allusion to it being often brewed in boiling water) but an onrush of newer slang rendered it obsolete as early as the early 1950s.

Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap (1998) with silver tea tray.

Tray (a small, typically rectangular or round, flat, and rigid object upon which things are carried) predates the eleventh century and was from the Middle English treye, from the Old English trēġ & trīġ (flat wooden board with a low rim), from the Proto-West Germanic trauwi, from the Proto-Germanic trawją or traujam (wooden vessel), from the primitive Indo-European dóru, a variant of the root drewo- (be firm, solid, steadfast (with also the specialized senses  “tree; wood” and derivatives referring to objects made of wood. The primary sense may have been “wooden vessel”).  It was cognate with the Old Norse treyja (carrier), the Old Swedish trø (wooden measure for grain & corn), the Low German Treechel (dough trough), the Ancient Greek δρουίτη (drouítē) (tub, vat) and the Sanskrit द्रोण (droṇa) (trough); trough and tree were influenced by the same sources.  The alternatives teatray and tea-tray are both accepted as standard forms but both are usually listed as “rare”, the former especially so.  Tea tray is a noun; the noun plural is tea trees.

George IV sterling silver tea set, hallmark from the silver workshop of Rebecca Emes (widow of silversmith John Emes (circa 1765-1810)) & Edward Bernard who were in partnership between 1808-1829.

The pieces are rendered in a melon shaped form with a textured leaf inspired frieze at the top register, rising from embellished shell form feet.  Originally a four piece set (teapot, coffee pot, cream jug and open sugar bowl) more than a century later a Canadian owner commissioned (through Birks (Canada)) a matching muffin dish.  The trademark on the muffin dish is that of Ellis & Co, Empire Works, Great Hampton Street & Hall Street, Birmingham (hallmarked 1937).  The tea tray is a sterling silver “George III” tea tray by Solomon Hougham,

High tea at the Savoy, London: High teas are events where ladies meet to talk about their feelings.

Although there are some striking modernist creations, the most sought after teas sets are those of porcelain or sterling silver, antique versions of the latter more common simply because they are less fragile, lasting centuries with only minimal care.  The first tea sets seem to have been the simple porcelain containers made in China during the Han Dynasty (206–220 BC).  From these humble, functional beginnings came eventually the intricately designed services of the eighteenth & nineteenth centuries which included not only the teapot and tea tray but also cups, sugar bowls with tongs, milk jugs, small plates for lemon slices and a remarkable variety of strainers and sieves to filter out pieces of the leaves.  In the sixteenth century porcelain tea sets arrived with the leaf and like many innovations from the East, consumption was originally limited to the rich who soon began to object to scalding their fingers on the handle-less cups; cups with handles (surely a marker of civilization) soon became essential in any drawing room.  Less pleasingly, adding milk and sugar also became fashionable so sugar bowls and milk jug (creamers) were added to sets along with the necessary teaspoons.  The tea craze thus influenced furniture, the “tea table” the item on which tea was served, sometime a place for the tea tray to sit but used also for more elaborate events which included cakes and such; this was the origin of the modern “high tea” which became such a profitable side-line for hotels.  Sterling silver tea sets began to appear in the late eighteenth century although it would be some decades before they attained great popularity, aided by Queen Victoria’s (1819–1901; Queen of the UK 1837-1901) fondness for tea and although the influence of the British royalty on the fashions of society was often negligible, in this she seems to have led the way.

Forks in evolution: The ducktail, the whale tail and the tea tray

There was much thoughtful engineering which made the 1973 Porsche 911 Carrera RS 2.7 such a formidable car in competition both in terms of what was taken out (most creature comforts) and what was put in (horsepower, light weight components and a braking system said to cost about as much as a new Volkswagen Beetle) but what caught the eye of most were the lurid graphics along the sides (Yellow, Blue, Green, Red and Blood Orange among the choices) and the spoiler which sprouted from the rear; it came to be called the “Ducktail” (bürzel in German) and was the subject of Patent 2238704: “The invention relates to a passenger car with a rear spoiler – one preferably mounted between side panels - and an aerodynamic device in the rear to increase the dynamic rear wheel pressure.”

1973 Porsche 911 Carrera RS 2.7 during wind tunnel testing of the Ducktail spoiler (left) and a production version with blue graphics (right).

The 911 Carrera RS 2.7 was a homologation special and Porsche planned to build only the 500 identical road-legal versions examples demanded to qualify the thing to be eligible competition under the Group 4 (Gran Turismo) regulations.  Although its 210 hp (156 kW) doesn’t sound impressive fifty years on (and even in the era there were many more powerful machines), weighing a svelte 960 KG (3086 lb), it could reach 100km/h (60 mph) in 5.8 seconds and touch 245 km/h (152 mph).  Given the performance, the Ducktail was a necessity to ensure there was at speed no dangerous lift at the rear but the factory was soon compelled to issue a bulletin warning that anyone fitting a ducktail to any other 911 would also have to fit the factory's front spoiler because, without the front unit, the rear down-force would become “excessive”, lifting the nose, the result: instant instability.  As it turned out, demand was greater than expected and eventually 1580 cars were built, many with a few of the creature comforts restored and today the 1973 Carrera is among the most collectable of the 911s; sales over US$2 million have been recorded.

1974 Porsche 911 Carrera RS 3.0 with whale tail.

The delicate lines of the 911 were spoiled when the 1974 models were released, the “impact” bumpers grafted on to satisfy US regulations an unhappy addition but in fairness to Porsche, their implementation was aesthetically more successful than many, notably their Stuttgart neighbors Mercedes-Benz which appeared to have taken for inspiration the naval rams once fitted beneath the waterlines of battleships and there to sink smaller vessels by ramming; at least on warships they couldn’t be seen.  The Ducktail however survived the legislative onslaught and became available on the new Carrera coupe (fitted as standard in North American markets) which was a pure road car without any of the compromises which made its raw-boned predecessor so engaging.

Later in the year however, a variant of the rear spoiler evolved for the 911 Carrera RS 3.0, this time rendered as a larger, flatter piece with rubber edges, the trailing edge rakishly upturned; it came to be called the “Whale Tail.”  Actually to speak of the Whale Tail as an item is a little misleading because the evolution continued and it was only the early examples which used the simple construction with a recessed grille which tracked the line of the engine cover, blending into the uninterrupted flat expanse of the spoiler itself.  By 1976 the (pre-intercooler) Turbo Carrera (the 930, the so-called “widow-maker”) was fitted with a Whale Tail with a second grille inset into the spoiler itself and to complicate the parts catalogue further, the secondary grille on the RoW (rest of the world) cars was smaller than that fitted to vehicles destined for North America; again the increasingly rigid US regulations the cause.  As the years went by, the Whale Tail continued to change.

The Whale Tail (left) and the Tea Tray (right)

By 1978, there was another evolutionary fork, the 911 Turbo’s spoiler becoming the “Tea Tray”, distinguished by a continuous raised rubber lip around the sides and rear edge.  The recessed grilles were replaced by a large, inset louvered plastic grille, needed to accommodate the additional height of the intercooler while the base of the assembly became a wide pedestal mounted through the engine cover and although there were detail changes, the Tea Tray was fitted to 930s (and atmospheric cars with the M491 option) until the retirement of the long-serving (the 1974-1989 911s often called “G Series” although technically that should apply only to the 1974 model year production but such is the visual similarity the use persists) platform in 1989.

Herr Professor Ferdinand Porsche (1875–1951) explaining the Volkswagen (which as the range proliferated would come to be called the "Type 1") Beetle to Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) during the ceremony marking the laying of the foundation stone at the site of the Volkswagen factory, Fallersleben, Wolfsburg in Germany's Lower Saxony region, 26 May 1938 (which Christians mark as the Solemnity of the Ascension of Jesus Christ, commemorating the bodily Ascension of Christ to Heaven) (left).  The visit would have been a pleasant diversion for Hitler who was at the time immersed in planning for the Nazi's takeover of Czechoslovakia and later the same day, during a secret meeting, the professor would display a scale-model of an upcoming high-performance version (right). 

Tea Tray on 930 Turbo Cabriolet (left) and Taco on 996.1 GT3 (right)

The Ducktail, Whale Tail and Tea Tray remain the best known of the Porsche spoilers but there were others including the “Swan Neck” but the most photogenic was the “Taco”.  It was introduced on the 911 GT3 (RoW 996.1) and was so admired the factory later made it available as part of an optional aero-kit.  The nickname is of course an allusion to the Mexican culinary staple, the resemblance quite obvious when viewed in profile although it has also been dubbed the “Pacman”.  The 996.1 GT3, production of which was limited to 1868 units, was first displayed at the 1999 Frankfurt Motor Show and was one of the dual-purpose 911s (for road and track, the GT3 badge appearing several times since) and like all the spoilers, the Taco was functional and it needed to be, the 300 lbs (136 KG) downforce generated at the top speed of 304 km/h (189 mph) required to ensure the thing remained in contact with planet Earth.

Spoilers and other aerodynamic aids can be re-purposed.  A young lady with a tea tray (with coffee pot) (left) and laundry hanging on a the wing of a 1969 Dodge Daytona (right).  In period, between stints on the tracks, drivers would hang their sweat-laden racing suits on the wings of Daytonas and Plymouth Superbirds.

Cherry

Cherry (pronounced cher-ee)

(1) The fruit of any of various trees belonging to the genus Prunus, of the rose family, consisting of a pulpy, globular drupe enclosing a one-seeded smooth stone.

(2) The tree bearing such a fruit.

(3) The wood of such a tree.

(4) Used loosely, any of various fruits or plants resembling the cherry.

(5) A bright red color; cerise (often termed cherry red).

(6) In vulgar slang (1) the hymen & (2) a female state of virginity (as in “to pop her cherry”).

(7) Something new, unused or in immaculate condition.

(8) A novice; a neophyte.

(9) In underworld slang, a first offender.

(10) In ten-pin bowling, the striking down of only the forward pin or pins in attempting to make a spare.

(11) Of food and beverages, made with or containing cherries or cherry-like flavoring (cherry pie, cherry soda, cherry bomb, cherry cola, cherry brandy et al).

(12) Of furniture, timberwork etc, items made of or covered or decorated with a veneer of wood from the cherry tree.

(13) In graph theory, a sub-tree consisting of a node with exactly two leaves.

(14) In the slang of cricket, the ball (the traditional red variety used in first-class & test matches).

(15) In slang, the traditionally rounded, flashing red lights used on police cars, ambulances, fire engines etc.

(16) In slang, the burning tip of a cigarette (no rare).

1300–1350: From the Middle English chery, cherie, chirie & cheri, a back formation from the from Anglo-Norman cherise (a variant of chirie and mistakenly thought to be plural), from the Late Latin ceresium & cerasium, from the Latin cerasum, from the Ancient Greek κεράσιον (kerásion) (cherry fruit), from κερασός (kerasós) (bird; cherry), and perhaps ultimately of Anatolian origin (etymologists citing the intervocalic σ as a hint of a pre-Greek origin for the word and noting also that “…as the improved cherry came from the Pontos area... the name is probably Anatolian as well”.  The word cherry originates in the northern French dialect word cherise (a variant of the standard modern French cerise), which was adopted into English after the Norman Conquest of 1066.  Because it ended in an “s”, it was taken to be a plural form and so, as a back formation, the “singular” cherry was coined.  In Old English there had been ċiris & ċirse (cherry), from a West Germanic borrowing of the Vulgar Latin word (and cognate with German Kirsch which did survive), but it went extinct after the Norman invasion, supplanted by the French word.  Cherry is a noun & adjective and cherrier & cherriest are adjectives; the noun plural is cherries.

1955 Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR (Uhlenhaut) coupé.  This is "red" with cherry red trim.

The factory produced only two gullwing versions of the 300 SLR (technically the W196S) and neither were ever used in competition because of the race for which they were designed (the Carrera Panamericana) was cancelled in the moral panic which followed the 1955 Le Mans disaster and in the wake of that, Mercedes-Benz also withdrew from top-flight motorsport, not returning for decades.  The two were nicknamed “red” and “blue”, an allusion to the cherry red and Prussian blue interiors (the factory insists the colors are just “red” & “blue” but “cherry” seems right and few can resist "Prussian", even if the things were built in the south).  In 2022, the “cherry red” 300 SLR coupé was sold at private auction for €135 million (US$143 million), setting the mark as the most expensive car ever.

Always choose a dark cherry.

The color cherry red is not exactly defined and even a little misleading because it’s applied usually to bright shades which others might describe as blood red (also misleading) cardinal, carmine, carnation, cerise, crimson, fire engine red, flame, flamingo, fuchsia, geranium, pillar-box red, scarlet or other imaginative forms.  It’s misleading because the fruit comes in many shades of red from bright to a shade so dark they’re actually called “black cherries”.  It’s probably only on color charts the distinction matters but what one manufacturer calls “cherry red” might be very different from the products of others.  In cricket, some get it.  Prior to the 1970s, all cricket balls were red (there are now white ones & pink ones)so the slang “cherry” was common but the New Zealand fast bowler Sir Richard Hadlee (b 1951) wasn’t content with any ball, insisting that one of the secrets to his success was when offered a choice of cherries by the umpire was not to be bothered by details like the seam (which interested so many bowlers) but to always pick “a good dark one”.  He said the darker “cherries” could be made to move much more through the air.

Lindsay Lohan in cherry-themed outfit in Get a Clue (2002).

The meaning “maidenhead, virginity” was originally US slang and in use by 1928 but some doubt the story that the source was the supposed resemblance to the hymen and suggest it was an allusion to the long-established use of cherries as a symbol of the fleeting quality of life's pleasures (and “cherry” was English underworld slang for “lovely young girl”, documents since at least 1899.  Forms of alcohol include cherry brandy and the cherry-bounce, the popular name of a cordial made from fermented cherries and known in one form or another since the 1690s.  Forms of food include just about anything possible, most famously including cherry strudel, cherry pie, cherry duck etc.  In idiomatic use, there’s “bite of the cherry” (a chance; an attempt at something), “life isn’t a bowl of cherries” (one must be realistic about the vicissitudes one will encounter in life), the cherry nose (the red noses of those too fond of strong drink), cherry on the cake (the same meaning as “icing on the cake”, (something that intensifies the appreciation of something already good), cherry-popping (to deflower a virgin), “cherry-pop” (a sweet, red-colored cordial) and to “cherry pick”(selfishly to select only the very best of something), a pejorative figurative sense dating from 1959 and based on a machine: the literal “cherry-picker” the name given to crane with a bucket for raising and lowering persons (for purposes such as pick cherries from a tree) although earlier it had been used in railroad maintenance.

Black Cherry Strudel

To ensure the finest product, pâtissiers often insist on using only fresh fruit but canned or frozen black cherries work equally well in strudels and can be much easier to work with because there’s no need to macerate the fruit which may instead immediately be cooked.  This recipe can also be used with sour cherries in which case the lemon juice is omitted in favor of 150 g (¾ cup) of sugar.  It can be served warm or cold according to preference and the variations are many; the cranberries and almonds can be replaced with other dried fruits and nuts and there are the purists who insist on nothing but black cherries (although a few do add apricot brandy).  Traditionally, it’s served with a dollop of thickened cream.

Ingredients

800 g (3½ cups) fresh black cherries, cleaned and pitted
100 g (½ cup) granulated sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
A dash of cinnamon
Juice and zest of 1 organic, un-waxed, scrubbed lemon
60 g (½ cup) dried cranberries
50 g (½ cup) slivered almonds
6 large sheets strudel or filo pastry
1 egg whisked with 1 tablespoon milk or water for brushing
Icing sugar for dusting

Instructions

Preparation: Preheat oven to 200°C (400°F).  Line a baking tray (or sheet) with baking (parchment) paper.

Cook cherry filling: In a small bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons of sugar and cornstarch until no lumps of cornstarch remain.  Add the cherries and the remaining sugar into another bowl and allow them to let macerate for an hour (it will take this long for the sugar to draw some liquid from the fruit).  Add the cherries, cranberries, almonds, cornstarch mixture, vanilla extract, cinnamon, lemon zest and juice into a saucepan and simmer over medium-high heat until the mixture starts to thicken, which should take 7 to 10 minutes.  Set the mix aside to cool to room temperature.

Roll strudel (pastry): Place the sheets of strudel or filo pastry on a clean, dry tea-towel (one with some embossing does make rolling easier).  Arrange the cherry filling lengthwise on the pastry leaving a 25 mm (1 inch) border along bottom and sides and then fold in the edges.  Use the tea-towel to lift and roll the pastry tightly, enclosing all the filling.  Tuck the ends in and transfer the strudel seam-side down onto the prepared baking tray.  If using filo pastry, brush each sheet with melted butter to prevent it drying out during the cooking.

Bake strudel:  Brush the top of the strudel with egg wash and bake for 25-35 minutes, until the pastry has become golden brown and obviously flaky.  Slice the strudel while still warm and dust with icing sugar; it’s traditionally served with custard, ice cream or a dollop of thickened cream.

Flatware

Flatware (pronounced flat-wair)

In catering, an omnibus term covering (1) cutlery such as the knives, forks, and spoons used at the table for serving and eating food & (2) crockery such as those plates, saucers, dishes or containers which tend to flatness in shape (as opposed to the more capacious hollowware).

1851: The construct was flat + ware.  Flat dates from 1275–1325 and was from the Middle English flat from the Old Norse flatr, related to Old High German flaz (flat) and the Old Saxon flat (flat; shallow) and akin to Old English flet.  It was cognate with the Norwegian and Swedish flat and the Danish flad, both from the Proto-Germanic flataz, from the primitive Indo-European pleth (flat); akin to the Saterland Frisian flot (smooth), the German flöz (a geological layer), the Latvian plats and Sanskrit प्रथस् (prathas) (extension).  Source is thought to be the Ancient Greek πλατύς (platús & platys) (flat, broad).  The sense of "prosaic or dull" emerged in the 1570s and was first applied to drink from circa 1600, a meaning extended to musical notes in the 1590s (ie the tone is "lowered").   Flat-out, an adjectival form, was first noted in 1932, apparently a reference to pushing a car’s throttle (accelerator) flat to the floor and thus came to be slang for a vehicle’s top speed.  The noun was from the Middle English flat (level piece of ground, flat edge of a weapon) and developed from the adjective; the US colloquial use as a noun from 1870 meaning "total failure" endures in the sense of “falling flat”.  The notion of a small, residential space, a divided part of a larger structure, dates from 1795–1805; variant of the obsolete Old English flet (floor, house, hall), most suggesting the meaning followed the early practice of sub-dividing buildings within levels.  In this sense, the Old High German flezzi (floor) has been noted and it is perhaps derived from the primitive Indo-European plat (to spread) but the link to flat as part of a building is tenuous.

Ware was from the Middle English ware & war, from the Old English waru & wær (article of merchandise (originally “protection, guard”, the sense probably derived from “an object of care, that which is kept in custody”), from the Proto-Germanic warō & Proto-West Germanic war, from the Proto-Germanic waraz, the Germanic root also the source of the Swedish vara, the Danish vare, the Old Frisian were, the Middle Dutch were, the Dutch waar, the Middle High German & German Ware (goods). All ultimately were from the primitive Indo-European root wer- (perceive, watch out for)  In Middle English, the meaning shifted from "guard, protection" to "an object that is in possession, hence meriting attention, guarded, cared for, and protected".  Thus as a suffix, -ware is used to form nouns denoting, collectively, items made from a particular substance or of a particular kind or for a particular use.  In the special case of items worn as clothing, the suffix -wear is appended, thus there is footwear rather than footware.  In the suffixed form, ware is almost always in the singular but as a stand-alone word (meaning goods or products etc), it’s used as wares.  Ladyware was a seventeenth century euphemism for "a woman's private parts" (the companion manware etc much less common) and in Middle English there was also the mid-thirteenth century ape-ware (deceptive or false ware; trickery).

Hardware and software were adopted by the computer industry, the former used from the very dawn of the business in the late 1940s, borrowing from the mid-fifteenth century use which initially described “small metal goods” before evolving to be applied to just about everything in building & construction from tools to fastenings.  Apparently, software didn’t come into use until the 1960s and then as something based on “hardware” rather than anything to do with the mid-nineteenth century use when it described both "woolen or cotton fabrics" and "relatively perishable consumer goods"; until then there was hardware & programs (the term “code” came later).  The ecosystem spawned by the industry picked up the idea in the 1980s, coining shareware (originally software distributed for free for which some payment was hoped) and that started a trend, begetting:

Abandonware: Software no longer updated or maintained, or on which copyright is no longer defended or which is no longer sold or supported; such software can, with approval pass to others for development (takeoverware) or simply be purloined (hijackware).  Abandonware is notoriously associated with video game development where there’s a high failure rate and many unsuccessful projects later emerge as shareware or freeware.

Adware: Nominally free software which includes advertising while running.  Adware sometimes permits the advertising to disappear upon payment and is popularly associated with spyware although the extent of this has never reliably been quantified.

Baitware: Software with the most desirable or tempting features disabled but able to be activated upon payment; a type of crippleware or demoware.

Freeware: Free software, a variation of which is “open source” which makes available also the source code which anyone may modify and re-distribute on a non-commercial basis.  Google’s Chrome browser is a famous example, developed from the open source Chromium project.

Censorware: An umbrella term for content-filtering software.

Demoware: A variation of crippleware or baitware in that it’s a fully-functional version of the software but limited in some critical way (eg ceases to work after 30 days); also called trialware.  The full feature set is unlocked by making a payment which ensures the user is provided with a code (or "key") to activate full-functionality.  The fashionable term for this approach is "freemium" (a portmanteau of free & premium, the idea being the premium features cost something.

Donationware: Pure shareware in that it’s fully-functional and may be used without payment but donations are requested to support further development.  A type of shareware.

Postcardware: Developer requests a postcard from the user’s home town.  This really is a thing and the phenomenon is probably best explained by those from the behavioral science community; also called cardware.

Ransomware: Software which “locks” or in some way renders inaccessible a user’s data or system, requiring a payment (usually in crypto-currency) before access can be regained; malware’s growth industry.

Spyware: Software which furtively monitors a user’s actions, usually to steal and transmit data; antispyware is its intended nemesis.

Malware: Software with some malicious purpose including spyware and ransomware.

Bloatware: Either (1) the programs bundled by manufacturers or retailers with devices when sold, (often trialware and in some notorious cases spyware) or (2) software laden with pointless “features” nobody will ever use; also called fatware, fattware and phatware.

Vaporware: Non-existent software which is either well behind schedule or has only ever been speculative; also called noware.

Ford flathead V8 with heads removed (right), a pair of (flat) heads (centre) and V8 with (aftermarket Offenhauser) heads installed.

Flat as a noun, prefix or adjective has also been productive:  Flat white can be either a coffee or a non-gloss paint.  Flatway and flatwise (with a flat side down or otherwise in contact with a flat surface) are synonymous terms describing the relationship of one or more flat objects in relation to others and flat-water is a nautical term meaning much the same as "still-water".  The flat universe is a cluster of variations of one theory among a number of speculative descriptions of the topological or geometric attributes of the universe.  Probably baffling to all but a few cosmologists, the models appear suggest a structure which include curves while as a totality being of zero curvature and, depending on the detail, imply a universe which either finite or infinite.  In internal combustion engines, a flathead engine (also called the sidevalve or L-Head) is one where the poppet valves are built into the engine block rather than being in a separate cylinder head which has since the 1950s been the almost universal practice (overhead valve (OHV) and overhead camshaft (OHC)).  Until the 1950s, flatheads were widely available in both cheap and expensive vehicles because they used relatively few moving parts, were simple (and thus economic) to manufacture and existed in an era of low-octane fuels which tended to preclude high engine speeds.  During the Second World War (1939-1945), decades of advances in design and metallurgy were effectively accomplished in five years and flathead designs were phased out of production except for non-automotive niches where simple, cheap, low-revving units were ideal.  The classic flathead was the Ford V8 (1932-1953 in the US market although, remarkably, production overseas didn’t end until 1993) which encompasses all the advantages and disadvantages of the design and was so identified with the concept that it’s still known as “the Flathead”, the name gained because the “head”, containing no valve-gear or other machinery, is little more than a piece of flat steel, providing a sealing for the combustion process.

Flat Earth Society factional options.

Members of the Flat Earth Society believe the Earth is flat but there's genuine debate within the organization, some holding the shape is disk-like, others that it's conical but both agree we live on something like the face of a coin.  There are also those in a radical faction suggesting it's actually shaped like a doughnut but this theory is regarded by the flat-earth mainstream as speculative or even heretical.  Evidence, such as photographs from orbit showing Earth to be a sphere, is dismissed as part of the "round Earth conspiracy" run by NASA and others.  The flat-earther theory is that the Arctic Circle is in the center and the Antarctic is a 150-foot (45m) tall wall of ice around the rim; NASA contractors guard the ice wall so nobody can fall over the edge.  Earth's daily cycle is a product of the sun and moon being 32 mile (51 km) wide spheres travelling in a plane 3,000 miles (4,800 km) above Earth.  The more distant stars are some 3100 miles (5000 km) away and there's also an invisible "anti-moon" which obscures the moon during lunar eclipses.

Lindsay Lohan in Lanvin Classic Garnet ballet flats (ballet pumps in the US) (Lanvin p/n: FW-BAPBS1-NAPA-A18391), Los Angeles, 2012.

Ballet flats are shoes which either literally are or closely resemble a ballerina’s dancing slippers.  In the US, ballet flats are almost always called ballet pumps and this use has spread, many in the industry also now calling them pumps, presumably just for administrative simplicity although the standardization does create problems because the term “pump” is used to describe a wide range of styles and there’s much inconsistency between markets.  A flat-file database is a database management system (DBMS) where records are stored in a uniform format with no structure for indexing or recognizing relationships between entries.  A flat-file database is best visualized as the page of a spreadsheet which no capacity for three-dimensionality but, in principle, there’s no reason why a flat-file database can’t be huge although they tend for many reasons not to be suitable to use at scale.

The Flatiron building (circa 1904) oil on canvas by Ernest Lawson (1873-1939).

The Flatiron Building is a 22 storey, 285 foot (86.9 m), tall building with a triangular footprint, located at 175 Fifth Avenue in what is now called the Flatiron District of Manhattan, New York City.  Opened in 1902 and originally called the “Fuller Building”, the Flatiron was one of the city’s first skyscrapers and gained the nickname which stuck because people compare the shape to the cast-iron clothes irons then on sale although, viewed from ground level, the shape is deceptive; whereas an iron is symmetrical, the Flatiron is an irregular triangle: a wedge.  A striking example of modernist design, it was designated a National Historic Landmark in 1989.

Flatware

Flatware in its historic sense is now rarely used outside of the categorization systems of catering suppliers except in the US where it vies with “silverware” & “flatwaresilverware” to describe what is in most of the English-speaking world called cutlery.  In modern use, a term which covers some utensils and some dishware seems to make no sense and that’s correct.  The origin of flatware belongs to a time when those to whom an invitation to dinner was extended would bring their own “flatware” (knife, fork, spoon, plate, goblet) because in most houses, those items existed in numbers sufficient only for the inhabitants.

Jacob Rees-Mogg taking a dish of tea.  Mr Rees-Mogg (b 1969), a noted member of Boris Johnson's government since 2019, is sometime referred to as "the right honourable member for the eighteenth century".

As applied to crockery, flatware items were in the fourteenth century those plates, dishes, saucers which were "shallow & smooth-surfaced", distinguishing them from hollowware which were the larger items (steel, china, earthenware) of crockery used to cook or serve food (onto or into flatware to be eaten with flatware).  The seemingly aberrant case of the cup (something inherently hollow) being flatware is that what we would now call a mug or goblet, like a knife, fork or plate, was an item most people would carry with them when going to eat in another place.  The issue of cup and saucer existing in different categories thus didn’t exist and in any case saucers were, as the name suggests, originally associated with the serving of sauce, being a drip-tray.  The cup and saucer in its modern form didn’t appear until the mid eighteenth century when a handle was added to the little bowls which had been in use in the West for more than a hundred years (centuries earlier in the East) and reflecting handle-less age, the phrase “a dish of tea” is still an occasionally heard affectation.

Elizabeth II farewelling Bill & crooked Hillary Clinton, Buckingham Palace, 2000.

Almost universally, flatware is referred to as "the silver".  Eating and drinking has long been fetishized and adopted increasingly elaborate forms of service so (except for the specific sense in the US) the term flatware is now of little use outside the databases of catering suppliers, crockery and cutlery now more useful general categories which can accommodate what is now a huge number of classes of wares.  Flatware is a noun and the noun plural is flatwares.

Strudel

Strudel (pronounced strood-l or shtrood-l (German))

(1) A pastry, usually consisting of a fruit, cheese, or other mixture, rolled in multiple layers of paper-thin sheets of dough and baked.

(2) In the slang of computing, the “at” symbol (@).

(3) In oceanography, a vertical hole in sea ice through which downward jet-like, buoyancy-driven drainage of flood water is thought to occur.

(4) In engineering and graphic design, a general descriptor of spiral shaped objects.

1893: From the German Strudel (literally “eddy, whirlpool”), from the Middle High German strodel (eddy, whirlpool), from the Old High German stredan (to bubble, boil, whirl, eddy), from the Proto-Germanic streþaną, from the primitive Indo-European verbal stem ser- (to flow) from serw (flowing, stream).  The dish was so-called because of the way the pastry is rolled.  Strudel is a common dish throughout European and languages as diverse as the Norwegian Bokmål, Polish and Portuguese borrowed the German form directly.  In Hebrew colloquial speech, the @ symbol (famous from the use in email addresses) is known as the שטרודל (shtrudel), an allusion to the traditionally spiral form of strudels.  Hebrew is a centrally controlled language and the official word for the @ symbol is כרוכית (keruchith) which is used for the pastry although the loan-word from German is not uncommon in colloquial speech.  To a pâtissier, a strudel is something quite specific but to the less skilled the word is often applied to a variety of cakes, filled croissants, phyllo creations, pies & dainties, patisseries, tarts, turnovers, éclairs and panettone.  The noun plural is strudels. 

Most associated with sweet fillings, most famously apple and cherry, there are also savory strudels which have always been especially popular in Eastern Europe, constructed often with a heavier pastry.  Although the name strudel has been recorded only since 1893, it’s an ancient recipe which has probably been used since thin bread or pastries were used to encase and cook fruit, probably sweetened with honey.  Recipes from the seventeenth century still exist and historians have noted the cross-cultural exchanges with the cuisine from West Asia and the Middle East, such as the influence of the baklava and some Turkish sweets.  Early in the eighteenth century, strudels became signature items in many Vienna pâtisseries and from there became popular throughout the Habsburg Empire and beyond, noted particularly in the north of Italy.  In addition to apples (often with raisins) and cherries (sour, sweet & black), other popular fillings include plums, apricots and rhubarb, the French and English making a specialty of the latter.  Many strudels, especially the apple-based, are also augmented with a variety of creamy cheeses.

Toaster Strudel is a packaged convenience food, prepared by heating the frozen pastries in a domestic toaster, the icing included in a separate sachet.  There were in the 1950s attempts to create pastries which could be frozen and heated by consumers in toasters but it wasn't until the 1980s that advances in the manufacturing equipment and techniques used in the industrial production of food made mass-production and distribution practical.  Toaster Strudel is marketed under the Pillsbury brand operated by private equity investment house Brynwood Partners and has been on sale since 1985.  The core flavors are the original three, strawberry, blueberry and apple but twelve are currently on sale including a popular chocolate variety and from time to time, Pillsbury have offered different blends.  In the movie Mean Girls (2004), it was fictitiously claimed Gretchen Wieners' (Lacey Chabert (b 1982)) family fortune was due to her father's invention of Toaster Strudel; it was one of the script's running gags.

Still pink after all these years: Lacey Chabert.

In 2020, Pilsbury released a promotional version of Toaster Strudel, promoted by Lacey Chabert who is depicted reprising the famous line: “I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this” although on the actual product it’s written as “…very pleased to hear about this", a change which seems not significant.  The limited-edition release came in Strawberry & Cream Cheese and Strawberry, the icing (of course) pink and the day of release (of course) a Wednesday.  As part of the promotion, Pillsbury announced The Most Fetch’ Toaster Strudel Icing Sweepstakes, in which contestants created a design on their toasted strudel using the pink icing and there were three grand prize winners, each of whom received a personalized video message from Ms Chabert, a year’s supply of Toaster Strudel and some Mean Girls merchandise.  The list of winners was announced on Twitter (#FetchSweepstakes) and Instagram (@ToasterStrudel) on 3 October 2020 which was (of course) National Mean Girls Day.

Black Cherry Strudel

To ensure the finest product, pâtissiers often insist on using only fresh fruit but canned or frozen black cherries work equally well in strudels and can be much easier to work with because there’s no need to macerate the fruit which may instead immediately be cooked.  This recipe can also be used with sour cherries in which case the lemon juice is omitted in favor of 150 g (¾ cup) of sugar.  It can be served warm or cold according to preference and the variations are many; the cranberries and almonds can be replaced with other dried fruits and nuts and there are the purists who insist on nothing but black cherries (although a few do add apricot brandy).  Traditionally, it’s served with a dollop of thickened cream.

Ingredients

800 g (3½ cups) fresh black cherries, cleaned and pitted
100 g (½ cup) granulated sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
A dash of cinnamon
Juice and zest of 1 organic, un-waxed, scrubbed lemon
60 g (½ cup) dried cranberries
50 g (½ cup) slivered almonds
6 large sheets strudel or filo pastry
1 egg whisked with 1 tablespoon milk or water for brushing
Icing sugar for dusting

Instructions

Preparation: Preheat oven to 200°C (400°F).  Line a baking tray (or sheet) with baking (parchment) paper.

Cook cherry filling: In a small bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons of sugar and cornstarch until no lumps of cornstarch remain.  Add the cherries and the remaining sugar into another bowl and allow them to let macerate for an hour (it will take this long for the sugar to draw some liquid from the fruit).  Add the cherries, cranberries, almonds, cornstarch mixture, vanilla extract, cinnamon, lemon zest and juice into a saucepan and simmer over medium-high heat until the mixture starts to thicken, which should take 7 to 10 minutes.  Set the mix aside to cool to room temperature.

Roll strudel (pastry): Place the sheets of strudel or filo pastry on a clean, dry tea-towel (one with some embossing does make rolling easier).  Arrange the cherry filling lengthwise on the pastry leaving a 25 mm (1 inch) border along bottom and sides and then fold in the edges.  Use the tea-towel to lift and roll the pastry tightly, enclosing all the filling.  Tuck the ends in and transfer the strudel seam-side down onto the prepared baking tray.  If using filo pastry, brush each sheet with melted butter to prevent it drying out during the cooking.

Bake strudel:  Brush the top of the strudel with egg wash and bake for 25-35 minutes, until the pastry has become golden brown and obviously flaky.  Slice the strudel while still warm and dust with icing sugar; it’s traditionally served with custard, ice cream or a dollop of thickened cream.