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Thursday, December 11, 2025

Guillotine

Guillotine (pronounced gil-uh-teen)

(1) An apparatus designed efficiently to carry out executions by decapitation.

(2) In medicine, an instrument used surgically to remove the tonsils.

(3) Any of various machines in which a vertical blade between two parallel uprights descends to cut or trim metal, stacks of paper etc.

(4) To truncate or cut.

(5) A technical procedure permitted in some parliaments which provides for an early termination of the time usually allocated to debate a bill, forcing an immediate vote.

(6) In philosophy, as “Hume's guillotine”, a synonym of “Hume's law”, the idea that what ought to be the case cannot be deduced from what is already the case; named after the Scottish philosopher and historian David Hume (1711–1776).

(7) In law, as “guillotine clause”, a contractual stipulation that the adoption of the overall contractual package requires adoption of all of the individual treaties or contracts within it; the clause often appears in international treaties or agreements between sub-national entities.

(8) In historic French slang, as “dry guillotine”, the deportation to a penal colony.

Circa 1791: The guillotine was named after Joseph Guillotin (1738-1814), the French physician who advocated its adoption.  The surname Guillotin was of French origin and was from the Old French personal name Guillot, a diminutive of "Guillaume" (the French form of William, meaning “will” or “desire” + “helmet” or “protection” which, macabrelyis amusing given the later association with the guillotine). The “-in” suffix is a common diminutive in French surnames, meaning “little” (in the sense of “younger”) or “son of”.  Still today, the surname Guillotin is found primarily in western France, particularly in regions like Brittany (Bretagne), Normandy, and the Loire Valley and probably began as a patronymic, identifying the bearer as “the son of Guillot”.  Guillotine & guillotining are nouns & verbs and guillotined is a verb; the noun plural is guillotines.  Although use of the verb is attested only from 1794, etymologists seem to agree it would have come into oral use simultaneously with the noun.

The classic guillotine consists of a tall, upright frame in which a weighted and angled blade is raised to the top and suspended.  The condemned person is secured with stocks at the bottom of the frame, positioning the neck directly below the blade. The blade is then released, swiftly to fall, forcefully decapitating the victim in a single pass, the head falling into a basket below.  In 1789, having witnessed the sometimes prolonged suffering caused by other methods of execution, Dr Joseph Guillotin (1738-1814), then a deputy in the National Assembly, had commended the guillotine to the authorities, his notes at the time indicating he was concerned with (1) efficiency of process, (2) a humanitarian concern for the victim and (3), the effect less expeditious methods had on executioners (and of the three, it was only the first and third which would later induce the Nazis to abandon mass-shootings of the Jews and instead create an industrialized process).  The French administration agreed and several guillotines were built in 1791, the first execution the following year.  Approvingly reporting the efficiency of the machine, the Universal Magazine of Knowledge and Pleasure in January 1793 noted "The name of the machine in which the axe descends in grooves from a considerable height so that the stroke is certain and the head instantly severed from the body."  The device also affected Scottish historian Thomas Carlyle (1795–1881) who, in his seminal French Revolution (1837), was moved to observe "This is the product of Guillotin's endeavors, ... which product popular gratitude or levity christens by a feminine derivative name, as if it were his daughter: La Guillotine! ... Unfortunate Doctor! For two-and-twenty years he, unguillotined, shall hear nothing but guillotine, see nothing but guillotine; then dying, shall through long centuries wander, as it were, a disconsolate ghost, on the wrong side of Styx and Lethe; his name like to outlive Cæsar's."  For better or worse, historians no longer write like that.

Sterling silver cigar cutter (1994) by Theo Fennell (b 1951).

A finely crafted piece, the upright frame contained a sprung, angled blade with retaining chain, the cigar tip tumbling into a gilded silver basket after the blade descends to the stocks.  The base was of honed, black slate with a sterling silver cartouche ready for engraving, the unit supplied in a bespoke, two-door presentation case.  At auction, it sold for Stg£2,000 (cigar not included).

Born in Saintes, Dr Guillotin emerged as a prominent member of the Constituent Assembly in Paris and although philosophically opposed to capital punishment, he was a realist and wished executions done in a more humane manner and, very much in the spirit of the times, for the one method to be used for all social classes.  He recommended a machine known at the time as the “Louison” or “Louisette”, the nickname derived from the French surgeon and physiologist Dr Antoine Louis (1723-1792) who designed the prototype although it was built by German engineer and harpsichord maker Tobias Schmidt, the process typical of the division of labor in Europe at the time.  It was Herr Schmidt who suggested using a diagonal blade rather than the round shape borrowed from the executioner’s axe and, with his knowledge of anatomy, Dr Louis calculated what came to be known as the “angle of Louis”, an alternative term for the "sternal angle" (the point of junction between the manubrium and the body of the sternum).  The advocacy of Dr Guillotin however received more publicity and, much to his regret, “Guillotine” captured the public imagination, his family so embarrassed by the connection they later changed the family name.  A confessed Freemason, Dr Guillotin died of natural causes in his Paris home, aged 75 and was buried in the city’s Père-Lachaise Cemetery.

One of the kitten-heel shoes worn by Marie Antoinette (1755–1793; Queen Consort of France 1774-1792) on the day of her execution, 16 October 1793.  

While ascending the stairs to the guillotine, she tripped, stepped on the executioner's foot and lost her shoe, something of a harbinger to what she’d lose a few moments later.  The shoe was later recovered and is now on display at the Musée des Beaux-Arts de Caen.

Although Dr Guillotin regretted his name being associated with the contraption, the true origin wasn't even French.  While the date such a thing was first used is unknown it seems almost certainly a medieval creation, an early English record indicating a mechanical beheading device was in use in Halifax in West Yorkshire; then called the Halifax Gibbet, the decapitation of an unfortunate Mr John Dalton recorded in 1286.  A sixteenth century engraving named The Execution of Murcod Ballagh Near to Merton in Ireland 1307 shows a similar machine suggesting use also in medieval Ireland and Scotland, from the mid-sixteenth century until the abolition of use circa 1710; it was called the Maiden which seems to have been functionally identical to the Halifax Gibbet.  In Italy, most un-euphemistically, it was called the Mannaia (cleaver).  Over the years, it attracted many nicknames, some sardonically deployed as the equivalent of gallows humour including La Monte-à-regret (The Regretful Climb), Le Rasoir National (The National Razor), La Veuve (The Widow), Le Moulin à Silence (The Silence Mill), La Bécane (The Machine), Le Massicot (The Cutter), La Cravate à Capet (Capet's Necktie (Capet being Louis XVI (1754–1793; King of France 1774-1792)) & La Raccourcisseuse Patriotique (The Patriotic Shortener).

Marie Antoinette's execution on October 16, 1793 (Unknown artist).

The carts famously used to take victims to the guillotine during the Reign of Terror (the period in the mid-1790s after the declaration of the First Republic, marked by massacres, public executions, anti-clericalism and internecine political struggle) were called tumbrels although many illustrations depict the use of four-wheeled carts rather than tumbrels.  Presumably both types were used but historians generally believe it was usually the tumbrel because the revolutionaries preferred the symbolism of something used usually for moving dung or rubbish and suggest artists preferred the four-wheelers simply for compositional reasons.  The noun tumbrel (two-wheeled cart for hauling dung, stones etc) was from mid-fifteenth century French, a name, curiously perhaps, used in the early thirteenth century to describe what some eighteenth century dictionaries described as a mysterious “instrument of punishment of uncertain type” but which turned out to be (1) a name for the cucking stool used, inter alia, to conduct the dunking in water of women suspected of this and that and (2) was a type of medieval balancing scale used to weigh coins.  It was from the Old French tomberel (dump cart) (which exists in Modern French as tombereau), from tomber ((let) fall or tumble), possibly from a Germanic source, perhaps the Old Norse tumba (to tumble), the Old High German tumon (to turn, reel).

Public guillotining of Eugen Weidmann, Versailles, 1939.

The records from the early days of the revolution are understandably sketchy but the first guillotine was likely that crafted by German harpsichord maker Tobias Schmidt which first was used on 25 April 1792, the term “guillotine” appearing first in print in a report by the journalist Louis René Quentin de Richebourg de Champcenetz (1759-1794) who, in another journalistic scoop, was later guillotined.  Although synonymous with the French Revolution, during which some seventeen thousand were beheaded, the guillotine remained the nation's official method of capital punishment until the death penalty was abolished in 1981.  The highwayman Nicolas Jacques Pelletier (circa 1756–1792) was the first victim while the last public guillotining was of Eugen Weidmann (1908-1939) who, convicted of six murders, was beheaded in Versailles on 17 June 1939.  The final drop of the blade came when murderer Hamida Djandoubi’s (1949-1977) sentence was carried out in Marseille on 10 September 1977.

Boucles d'oreilles pendantes guillotine en laiton (guillotine drop earrings in brass), cut and engraved, Paris, circa 1880.

In France, until the onset of modernity with the coming of the twentieth century, artistic and decorative representations of the guillotine proliferated because the bloody events of the 1790s had made the instrument a symbol of republican patriotism.  Methods of execution now appear less as fashion items although there was a revival associated when the punk movement went mainstream in the mid-1970s (anarchists, revolutionaries and such less inclined to trivialize what they intended soon to be a serious business). In recent years, models in nooses have however strutted the catwalks generating outrage which, measured in column inches, photographs and clicks, was of course the point of them donning the macabre accessory.  For those nostalgic for the days of la révolution, made with a variety of materials, guillotine drop earrings are available on-line.

Paper trimming guillotine.

The device was used in many European countries until well after the Second World War but, perhaps predictability, none were as enthusiastic as the Nazis.  Having been used in various German states since the seventeenth century and being the preferred method of execution in Napoleonic times (circa 1799-1815), guillotine and firing squad were the legal methods of execution during both the Second Reich (1871–1918) and the Weimar Republic (1919–1933).  For the Nazis however, it was just another way to industrialize mass-murder and under the Third Reich (1933-1945), 16,500 were guillotined including 10,000 in 1944–1945 alone although, after the attempt on his life in July 1944, Hitler wasn’t at all attracted to an efficient or humanitarian dispatch of the surviving plotters and for them specified a more gruesome method.  The guillotine was used for the last time in the FRG (Bundesrepublik Deutschland (Federal Republic of Germany; the old West Germany) 1949-1990) in 1949 though use in the GDR (Deutsche Demokratische Republik (German Democratic Republic; the old East Germany) 1949-1990) persisted until 1966, mostly by the Ministerium für Staatssicherheit (Ministry for State Security, better known as the Stasi) for secret executions.

Brandenburg prison fallbeil now on display at the Deutsche Historisches Museum.  Unlike most of the Tegel machines, it's un-painted and not fitted with a blade shield although the rather crude construction (using unfinished wood planks and four hefty, unadorned wooden legs) is characteristic of the Tegel design.  Some other Tegel fallbeils have had some of the timber members replaced with square metal tubing.

The German for guillotine is fallbeil (literally "axe-method" which is pleasingly informative).  The Nazis increased the number of capital offences in the criminal code and consequently, there was a drastic increase in the number of executions in the Reich.  To meet the demand, many prisons were designated as execution sites, sixteen gazetted by 1942, all equipped with metal (Mannhardt) fallbeils, the standardized procedure for execution as typically exact and bureaucratic as anything in the German civil service.  The first fallbeils were made from wood and built by the inmates of the Tegel prison in Berlin (hence the name) while the later Mannhardt design (fabricated from steel) was more sophisticated, including an external pulley frame and, thoughtfully, a hinged sheet-metal cover to protect the executioner from "blood spray".

The help admiring a SWB 600.

It’s at least arguable the Mercedes-Benz 600 (M100, 1963-1981) was the last car which, upon its introduction, could be called “the best car in the world”.  Some publications used exactly that phrase when their road-test reports appeared and about all the review in US magazine Road & Track found to complain about was (1) the choice of where to place the driver’s ashtray was obviously the decision of a non-smoker and (2) the air-conditioning (AC) was primitive compare with what was installed in Cadillacs, Lincolns and Imperials (or for that matter, Chevrolets, Fords and Plymouths).  The factory did improve ashtray placement (before social change drove them extinct) but it took decades for it to produce AC systems as good as those from Detroit although, impressionistically, probably nothing has ever matched the icy blasts possible in 1960s Cadillacs and such.

A 600 Pullman on location, 2011.

Lindsay Lohan (b 1986) & Grant Bowler (b 1968) during the filming of Liz & Dick (2012), a “biopic” of the famously tempestuous relationship between the actors Elizabeth Taylor (1932–2011) & Richard Burton (1925–1984).  The car is a Mercedes-Benz 600  four-door Pullman with the vis-a-vis seating.  The flagstaffs (installed in this instance above the front wheel arches) were usually fitted to cars used by governments or the corps diplomatique.

An extraordinary technical achievement, despite its run of 18-odd years, the 600 was a commercial failure with only 2677 built, the 408 (345 sedans & 63 Pullmans) which left the line in the first year of full production (1965) an encouraging start but that proved the high point, the decline precipitous after 1972 when the 600 was withdrawn from the US market, the costs of complying with the new regulations (as well as uncertainty about what was to come) just too onerous to be justified for such a low-volume model.  Although there were examples of special coachwork (armour plating, higher roof versions and even a couple of coupés)  the 600 appeared in three basic forms, the SWB ("short" wheelbase) four-door sedan, the LWB (long wheelbase) Pullmans (in four & six door form) and the Pullman Landaulets (with two lengths of retractable roof); the breakdown was 2,190 sedans, 428 Pullmans and 59 Landaulets.

The car of kings, dictators and real estate developers.

The 1970 Pullman Landaulet (one of twelve known informally as the "presidential" because the folding portion of the roof extended to the driver's compartment, the other 58 Landaulets having a convertible top only over the rear seat) was purchased by the Romanian government and used by comrade president Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; general secretary of the Romanian Communist Party 1965-1989) until he and his wife were executed (by Kalashnikov assault rifle) after a “people's tribunal” held a brief trial, the swiftness of which was aided by the court-appointed defense counsel who declared them both guilty of the genocide of which, among other crimes, they were charged.  Considering the fate of other fallen dictators, their end was less gruesome than might have been expected.  Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; prime-minister or president of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) had a similar car (among other 600s) but he died undisturbed in his bed.  The blue SWB (short wheelbase) car to the rear is one of the few SWB models fitted with a divider between the front & rear compartments including hand-crafted timber writing tables and a refrigerated bar in the centre console.  It was delivered in 1977 to the Iranian diplomatic service and maintained for the Shah’s use.  The 1969 sedan to the right (identified as a US market car by the disfiguring headlight treatment) had a less eventful past, purchased by a California real estate developer, who took advantage of the Mercedes-Benz European Delivery Program (discontinued in 2020 after some sixty years), collecting the 600 from the Stuttgart factory.

KCNA (Korean Central News Agency) footage of the DPRK Youth Parade, Pyongyang, DPRK, 2012.  The KCNA (its headquarters at 1 Potonggang-dong in Pyongyang's Potonggang District) may be the world's most productive state news agency and is the best source for new Kim Jong-Un content. 

At the 2012 Youth Parade, all in the full stadium were happy and enthusiastic, delighted no doubt to be the only audience on the planet able to see two long-roof Mercedes-Benz 600 Landaulets together.  The DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea) should not be confused with the "puppet state" RoK (Republic of Korea (South Korea)).  Kim Il-Sung (Kim I, 1912–1994; Great Leader of DPRK 1948-1994) purchased a brace of presidential Landaulets which he passed down the line (along with the rest of North Korea) to his descendants Kim Jong-Il (Kim II, 1941-2011; Dear Leader of DPRK1994-2011) & Kim Jong-Un (Kim III, b 1982; Supreme Leader of DPRK since 2011).    Evil dictators and real estate developers are one thing but the television personality Jeremy Clarkson (b 1960) also owned a (SWB) 600 and from that the car's reputation may never have recovered.  

Staged publicity shot of 1966 Mercedes-Benz 600s.

A four-door Pullman (left) and SWB (right) parked outside the Hotel Vierjahreszeiten, Munich, Bavaria, FRG.  This shot illustrates the difference between the two platforms, the Pullman's additional length all in the wheelbase (the Pullman's was 3,900 mm (153½ inches) against the sedan's 3,200 mm (126 inch).  The factory initially called the sedans “limousines” because that was the traditional German term for a four door sedan (or saloon) but they’re commonly referred to also as the SWB (short wheelbase), the Pullmans very definitely a LWB (long wheelbase).

1966 Mercedes-Benz 600 SWB, Place de la Concorde, Paris, France.

The 600’s famously smooth ride and remarkably capable handling was achieved with a suspension system using air-bellows but more intricate still was the engine-drive hydraulic system with which could be controlled the raising and lowering of the windows and central divider (installed on all but one of the Pullmans and optional on the SWBs), the setting of the shock absorbers (dampers), the opening and closing of the sun-roofs (it was possible on Pullmans to order two!) and the positions of the seats.  Additionally, the closing of the trunk (boot) lid and doors were hydraulically controlled although the hood (bonnet) needed to be raised manually; the factory was clearly more concerned for the comfort of passengers than mechanics.  To achieve all this, the plumbing’s fittings included 30 hydraulic switches, 12 double-acting hydraulic cylinders, 10 single-acting cylinders, six self-resetting single-acting units, a pump, a reservoir, and an accumulator, all connected by 3.5 mm (⅛ inch) internal-diameter lines coursing with hydraulic oil at a pressure of 2,176 psi (150-bar).  As might be imagined, to even experienced automotive engineers & mechanics, the schematic appeared of Byzantine complexity but to those accustomed to the hydraulics of heavy machinery it seemed simple, the only novelty being components unusually small.  The pressure of the system was high enough (twice that of a typical fire hose), if ruptured, to pierce human flesh although, reassuringly, below what’s needed to cut through bone.  Just to prove safety warnings are not something recent, the high pressure warranted a passage in a notably thick publication: Workshop Manual, Type 600, The Grand Mercedes: “It cannot be too highly stressed that it is mortally dangerous to open the oil-pressure container!  Although the silently operating hydraulic system did offer the advantage of eliminating the noise which would have been generated had electric motors been used, the real attraction was the elimination of an estimated 800 metres (2600 feet) of wiring and more than a dozen motors (and it would have been a challenge to fit them all in the existing structure).

The Guillotine.

A Mercedes-Benz 600 sedan in the now closed Kemp Auto Museum in Saint Louis, Missouri, is used to demonstrate why the hydraulically activated trunk (boot) lid was known to wary technicians as “the guillotine”.  This is the lid closing with the hydraulics on the most hungry setting.

1966 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman Landaulet with the shorter of the two folding roofs.

The trunk-lid’s single hydraulic cylinder can bring the steel panel down with alarming force so service personnel decided it deserved to be nicknamed “the guillotine”.  It was however adjustable to reduce the potential to damage fingers (at least there was an attempt to minimize risk; from certain manufacturers, some of the early electric windows didn’t include a clutching mechanism and were capable of crushing the match boxes often used to demonstrate the danger to dawdling digits).  The 600’s hydraulic system was well-built and used high quality components but the factory knew nothing is indestructible and every car included in the trunk a box containing (1) four wedges to force between the glass and the jambs to keep the windows up and (2) a set of pins which could be inserted to keep the squabs of the front seats upright.  Indeed, the door closing apparatus proved troublesome (tales of expensive dresses ruined by a squirt of hydraulic fluid part of the 600 legend) and wasn’t fitted after 1967 but the guillotine remained standard equipment until the end.

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Quondam

Quondam (pronounced kwon-duhm or kwon-dam)

(1) As a pronominal, former; one-time; having been formerly.

(2) As a pronominal, of an earlier time.

1580s: An adaptation of the earlier (1530-1550) from earlier use as an adverb (formerly) and noun (former holder of an office, title or position), from the Latin adverb quondam (formerly, at some time, at one time; once in a while) the construct being quom, cum (when, as), from the primitive Indo-European root kwo- (stem of relative and interrogative pronouns) + -dam (the demonstrative ending).  Quondam is an adjective, quondamship is a noun and quondamly is an adverb; the noun quondam is now archaic but can be used in the sense of “one’s ex” and if one is prolific in the generation of quondamship, the noun plural is quondams.  According to one severe critic on Urban Dictionary, “quondamness” is defined as “A thesaurus full of imaginary yet important sounding words that shoddy authors use in order to find strange obscure or even imaginary words to use in their stories, in the hopes of sounding more intelligent than they will ever be. 

For a simple concept ("used to be"), quondam enjoys an impressive number of synonyms including former, previous, erstwhile, old, one-time, past, late, once, whilom, sometime, defunct, bygone, vanished, gone, departed, extinct and expired.  Some (extinct, expired, defunct) have specific technical meanings which limit their use while others (late, departed, gone) are most associated with the dead but otherwise quondam is available as a way of enriching a text.  In informal use, quondam has been used as a noun in the sense of one's ex-partner being “a quondam” and, as a re-purposed literary word, it has been adapted to the social media age with helpful, non-standard forms coined:

Quondam: One's ex-partner.

Quondaming: The act of dumping a partner.

Quondamed: The act of being so dumped.

Quaondamer: One who dumps a partner (in the form “serial quondamer”, applied to those who frequently dump).

Quondamee: One who has been quonadmed by a quandamer (in the form “serial quondamee”, applied to those frequently dumped).

Quondamish: An act which can be interpreted as being dumped but requires confirmation.

Quondamesque: Behavior which suggests having been dumped.

Quondamism: The study of dumped ex-partners (a branch of behaviorism).

Quondamist: A practitioner of quondamism (employed often by internet gossip sites) who can distinguish between genuine quondamees and those exhibiting quondam-like characteristics.  The experts have developed predictive models which they apply to work out who is next to be quondamed.

A quondam atheist who changed his mind: The Rage Against God: How Atheism Led Me to Faith (2010) by Peter Hitchens.

As a pronominal, writers like to use somewhat obscure quondam when drawing attention to those who were once “something” have for whatever reason become “something else”.  There are quondam atheists who became Christians including the (1) British academic & writer CS Lewis (1898–1963) who seems most to have be influenced in his conversion by JRR Tolkien (1892–1973), the US journalist Lee Strobel (b 1952) who set out to disprove Christianity after his wife converted, but the hunter ended up captured by the game, becoming a Christian, (3) the Physician-geneticist Francis Collins (b 1950) who lead the Human Genome Project and was either atheist or agnostic during his early scientific career but became affected by his encounters with expressions of faith among his patients although reading CS Lewis seems also have had a profound effect, (4) the writer Peter Hitchens (b 1951) who was a most truculent militant atheist (more so even than his brother Christopher) but returned to the faith of his youth after a period of personal reflection (which soon he’d call “soul-searching”) and witnessing “the consequences of godlessness” (although he writes for the tabloid Mail on Sunday which can’t be good for the soul), (5) the writer and broadcaster Malcolm Muggeridge (1903–1990) who as well as being quondam atheist was also quondam Marxist (a common coupling) and, like a 40-a-day smoker who has kicked the habit, having had his fun, he became a most moralistic Christian and (6) TS Eliot (1888–1965) who probably never was a quondam atheist but certainly had his moments of doubt so may qualify as an (off & on) quondam agnostic until his thirties and some of his later poetry does suggest he was keeping to a Godly path.

In political science there was a whole school of quondam communists of the “God that Failed” school, often arrayed in lists by conservatives anxious to rub in the “I told you so” moment.  The favorites though are the quondam Trotskyites (“Trots” to friend & foe alike) and while variously they’ve swung to some to conservatism, liberalism, nationalism or even God, it’s remarkable how many include the term “ex-Trotskyist” in their biodata, there being something romantic about comrade Leon Trotsky (1879-1940) and his Fourth International not shared by either comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) who ordered his murder or Karl Marx (1818-1883) although the latter should be treated sympathetically because of his many troubles including constipation (measured in days) but by far the greatest distraction must have been the painful genital boils.  In April 1867, in one of the many letters he sent to his collaborator Friedrich Engels (1820–1895), he lamented: “I shan’t bore you by explaining [the] carbuncles on my posterior and near the penis, the final traces of which are now fading but which made it extremely painful for me to adopt a sitting and hence a writing posture. I am not taking arsenic because it dulls my mind too much and I need to keep my wits about me.

The Revolution Betrayed: What is the Soviet Union and Where is it Going? (1937) by Leon Trotsky.  Three years after publication, comrade Stalin's assassins finally tracked down comrade Trotsky and murdered him; the weapon was an ice axe.

There was the writer and eternal enfant terrible Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011), in his youth a member of the International Socialists, who drifted away gradually but perceptibly before re-shaping his world-view into Islam vs the West after the 9/11 attacks, becoming a fellow-traveller with the neo-cons.  Across the Atlantic there was Irving Kristol (1920-2009) whose time with the Young People's Socialist League seems to have been more than youthful impetuosity because his faction was the then unfashionable Trotskyist group opposed to the Soviet state being built by comrade Stalin.  The extent to which his hard-right conservative wife changed his intellectual direct can be debated but for those who like “nurture vs nature” discussions, their son William Kristol (b 1952) was born a right-winger and has never deviated.  Perhaps the most famous quondam Trotskyist & Communist (he was inconsistent in his self-identification) of the Cold War years was the quondam Soviet spy Whittaker Chambers (1901-1961) whose testimony was crucial in the trial of State Department official Alger Hiss (1904–1996), the case on which the young congressman Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) built his reputation as an anti-communist.  Nixon later became one of many quondam presidents but the only one rendered thus by having to resign in disgrace.

Lindsay Lohan's quondam list (2013), partially redacted for publication by In Touch magazine.

Because her hectic lifestyle had for a decade-odd been chronicled (accurately and not) by the tabloid press, even before In Touch magazine in 2014 published a partially redacted list of three-dozen names Lindsay Lohan had in her own hand compiled of those with whom she’d enjoyed intimacy, she already had a reputation as a serial quondammer.  The list contained 36 names which seemed a reasonable achievement for someone then 27 although it wasn’t clear whether the count of three-dozen quandams was selective or exhaustive and upon publication it produced reactions among those mentioned ranging from “no comment” to denials in the style of a Clintonesque “I did not have sex with that woman”.  Other points of interest included Ms Lohan's apparently intact short & long-term memory and her commendably neat handwriting.  She seems to favor the “first letter bigger” style in which the format is “all capitals” but the first letter of a sentence or with proper nouns such as names is larger.  In typography, the idea is derived from the “drop cap”, a centuries-old tradition in publishing where the opening letter of a sentence is many times the size of the rest, the text wrapping around the big letter.  In many cases, a drop cap was an elaborate or stylized version of the letter.  Her writing was praised as neat and effortlessly legible.  

Ms Lohan was about as pleased the list had been published as Gore Vidal (1925–2012) might have been if gifted the complete anthology (deluxe edition, leather bound with commentaries by the author) of the works of Joyce Carol Oates (b 1938).  It transpired the list of 36 was written as part of the fifth step of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) programme Ms Loan was in 2013 undertaking at the Betty Ford Clinic; that is known informally as the “Confession” step and it encourages members to acknowledge the harm caused to themselves and others in their pursuit of alcohol: “Admitted to God, to oneself, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.  Legally, despite being tagged “confession”, US courts have never extended to the AA the same status of privileged communication which conferred on what passes between penitent and priest in the confession box so committing one’s sins to paper is doubly dangerous.  Subsequently interviewed, Ms Lohan said she could “neither confirm or deny” the accuracy of the list but seemed to confirm what In Touch had published appeared to be a photograph of what she’d written.  That was an interesting distinction to draw but who took the photograph remains a mystery although she concluded: “Someone when I was moving must have taken a photo of it”, adding: “So that’s a really personal thing and that’s unfortunate.  Ms Lohan’s best-known quondam remains former special friend Samantha Ronson.

There is also much quondamism among those disillusioned by the cults of which they were once devoted followers and there have been many confessed Freemasons who abandoned the pseudo-faith, denouncing it as they stormed from the temple vowing never to return.  Although the Freemasons have centuries of experience in conducting cover-ups and are suspected to have infiltrated many news organizations, the fragmentation of the media in the internet age has meant stories sometimes do hit the headlines.  In 2024, the Rev Canon Dr Joseph Morrow (b 1954) not only resigned as Grand Master of The Freemasons of Scotland but also ceased to be a Mason.  Dr Morrow’s very public exit from the cult saw a flurry of speculation about what low skulduggery might have been involved, suggestions the he had been undermined by a “traditionalist” Masonic faction opposed to his plans to “modernize the craft”.  The conservatives clearly liked things the way then were and it seems there were tensions between members, some spooked by Dr Morrow pledged to oversee reform and widen recruitment, saying: “We will expand the global presence of Scottish freemasonry by inspiring our members to enjoy their involvement and by attracting new members.  This will be achieved by cultivating a positive culture of inclusivity and a meaningful impact on our communities.  That must have sounded ominously like a DEI (diversity, equity & inclusion) agenda, not welcome by many in the all-male institution that is Scottish-rite Masonry and hearing Dr Morrow speak of “greater transparency” would have sat not well with those who prize Masonic secrecy and opaqueness.

Quondom Grand Master & quondom Freemason Dr Joseph Morrow in his Masonic Grand Master regalia.  Note the ceremonial apron being worn underneath jacket, a style almost unique to The Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.

Suggestions were published alleging Dr Morrow left the cult because he’d learned the traditionalist faction was plotting and scheming against him, planning to propose an alternative grand master while he was on holiday in the Far East; his departure was said to be a case of “jumping before he was pushed”.  Circling the aprons, a spokesman for the Grand Lodge (1) denied any dissident members were plotting and scheming a palace coup, (2) claimed Dr Morrow had never raised “significant concerns”, (3) asserted: “No other candidate was planning to stand against him” and (4) maintained “Dr Morrow’s decision to resign was made for his own personal reasons.”  He concluded: “We are grateful for the huge contribution he has made to Scottish Freemasonry over many years and wish him well for the future.”  Whatever really happened, following his abrupt departure, the quondom Grand Master is also a quondom Freemason.

Thursday, March 20, 2025

Catwalk

Catwalk (pronounced kat-wawk)

(1) A narrow walkway, especially one high above the surrounding area, used to provide access or allow workers to stand or move, as over the stage in a theater, outside the roadway of a bridge, along the top of a railroad car etc; any similar elevated walkway.

(2) By extension, a narrow ramp extending from the stage into the audience in a theatre, nightclub etc, associated especially with those used by models during fashion shows (although the gender-neutral “runway” is now sometimes used in preference to “catwalk”).

(3) In nautical architecture, an elevated enclosed passage providing access fore and aft from the bridge of a merchant vessel.

(4) By extension, as "the catwalk", industry slang for the business of making clothes for fashion shows.

1874: The construct was cat + walk.  The use of catwalk to describe a long, narrow footway was a reference initially to those especially of such narrowness of passage that one had to cross as a cat walks.  It applied originally to ships and then theatrical back-stages, the first known use with a fashion show runway dating from 1942.  In architecture on land and at sea, the catwalk soon lost its exclusive association only with the narrow and came instead to be defined by function, used to describe any walkway between two points.  The noun plural is catwalks.  For both nautical and architectural purposes, the English catwalk was borrowed by many languages including Norwegian (Bokmål & Nynorsk) and Dutch and it’s used almost universally in fashion shows.  Some languages such as the Ottoman Turkish قات‎ use the spelling kat and some formed the plural as catz.

Cat (any member of the suborder (sometimes superfamily) Feliformia or Feloidea): feliform (cat-like) carnivoran & feloid or any member of the subfamily Felinae, genera Puma, Acinonyx, Lynx, Leopardus, and Felis or any member of the subfamily Pantherinae, genera Panthera, Uncia and Neofelise and (in historic use, any member of the extinct subfamily Machairodontinae, genera Smilodon, Homotherium, Miomachairodus etc, most famously the Smilodontini, Machairodontini (Homotherini), Metailurini, "sabre-toothed cat" (often incorrectly referred to as the sabre-toothed tiger) but now most associated with the domesticated species (Felis catus) of felines, commonly and apparently since the eight century kept as a house pet)) was from the Middle English cat & catte, from the Old English catt (male cat) & catte (female cat), from the Proto-West Germanic kattu, from the Proto-Germanic kattuz, from the Latin cattus.

Cat has most productively been applied in English to describe a wide variety of objects and states of the human condition including (1) a spiteful or angry woman (from the early thirteenth century but now almost wholly supplanted by “bitch” (often with some clichéd or imaginative modifier)), (2) An aficionado or player of jazz, (3) certain male persons (a use associated mostly with hippies or sub-set of African-American culture), (4) historic (early fifteenth century) slang for a prostitute, (5) in admiralty use, strong tackle used to hoist an anchor to the cathead of a ship, (6) in admiralty use, a truncated form of cat-o'-nine-tails (a multi-lash (not all were actually nine-tailed)) whip used by the Royal Navy to enforce on-board discipline), (7) in admiralty use, a sturdy merchant sailing vessel (long archaic although the use endures to describe the rather smaller "catboat", (8) as “cat & dog (cat being the trap), a archaic alternative name for the game "trap and ball", (9) the pointed piece of wood that is struck in the game of tipcat, (1) In the African-American vernacular, vulgar slang or the vagina, a vulva; the female external genitalia, (11) a double tripod (for holding a plate etc) with six feet, of which three rest on the ground, in whatever position it is placed, (12) a wheeled shelter, used in the Middle Ages as a siege weapon to allow assailants to approach enemy defenses, (13) in admiralty slang, to vomit, (14) in admiralty slang to o hoist (the anchor) by its ring so that it hangs at the cathead, (15) in computing, a program and command in the Unix operating system that reads one or more files and directs their content to the standard output (16) in the slang of computing, to dump large amounts of data on an unprepared target usually with no intention of browsing it carefully (which may have been a sardonic allusion of “to catalogue or a shortened form of catastrophic although both origins are unverified, a street name of the drug methcathinone, (17) in ballistics and for related accelerative uses, a shortened form of catapult, (18) for purposes of digital and other exercises in classification, a shortening of category, (19) an abbreviation of many words starting with “cat”) (catalytic converter, caterpillar (including as “CAT” by the manufacturer Caterpillar, maker of a variety of earth-moving and related machines)) catfish, etc, (20) any (non military-combat) caterpillar drive vehicle (a ground vehicle which uses caterpillar tracks), especially tractors, trucks, minibuses, and snow groomers.

Walk was from the Middle English walken (to move, roll, turn, revolve, toss), from the Old English wealcan (to move round, revolve, roll, turn, toss) & ġewealcan (to go, traverse) and the Middle English walkien (to roll, stamp, walk, wallow), from the Old English wealcian (to curl, roll up), all from the Proto-Germanic walkaną & walkōną (to twist, turn, roll about, full), from the primitive Indo-European walg- (to twist, turn, move).  It was cognate with the Scots walk (to walk), the Saterland Frisian walkje (to full; drum; flex; mill), the West Frisian swalkje (to wander, roam), the Dutch walken (to full, work hair or felt), the Dutch zwalken (to wander about), the German walken (to lex, full, mill, drum), the Danish valke & waulk), the Latin valgus (bandy-legged, bow-legged) and the Sanskrit वल्गति (valgati) (amble, bound, leap, dance).  It was related to vagrant and whelk and a doublet of waulk.

Walk has contributed to many idiomatic forms including (1) in colloquial legal jargon, “to walk” (to win (or avoid) a criminal court case, particularly when actually guilty, (2) as a colloquial, euphemistic, “for an object to go missing or be stolen, (3) in cricket (of the batsman), to walk off the field, as if given out, after the fielding side appeals and before the umpire has ruled; done as a matter of sportsmanship when the batsman believes he is out or when the dismissal is so blatantly obvious that the umpire’s decision is inevitable, (4) in baseball, to allow a batter to reach first base by pitching four balls (ie non-strikes), (5) to move something by shifting between two positions, as if it were walking, (6) (also as “to full”, to beat cloth to give it the consistency of felt, (6) in the slang of computer programming, to debug a routine by “walking the heap”, (7) in aviation, to operate the left and right throttles of an aircraft in alternation, (8) in employment, to leave, to resign, (9) in the now outlawed “sports” of dog & cock-fighting, to put, keep, or train (a puppy or bird) in a walk, or training area, (10) in the hospitality trade, to move a guest to another hotel if their confirmed reservation is not available at the time they arrive to check-in (also as to bump), (11) in the hospitality trade, as “walk-in”, a customer who “walks-in from the street” to book a room or table without a prior reservation, (12) in graph theory, a sequence of alternating vertices and edges, where each edge's endpoints are the preceding and following vertices in the sequence, (13) In coffee, coconut, and other plantations, the space between the rows of plants (from the Caribbean and most associated with  Belize, Guyana & Jamaica, (14) in orchids, an area planted with fruit-bearing trees, (15) in colloquial use, as “a walk in the park” or “a cakewalk”, something very easily accomplished (same as “a milk-run”) and (16) in the (now rare) slang of the UK finance industry, a cheque drawn on a bank that was not a member of the LCCS (London Cheque (check in the US) Clearance System), the sort-code of which was allocated on a one-off basis; they had to be "walked" (ie hand-delivered by messengers).

A crop top appended to Duran Lantink's (b 1998) fall 2025 Duranimal collection, Paris Fashion Week, March.  Although technical details weren't provided, based on the realistic "jiggle" achieved, the "garment" may have included "ballistics gel" in the critical elements.

Especially since the ratio of fabric to flesh on red carpets shrunk during the last two decades, critics and the public alike have become jaded, shock and surprise harder to achieve on the catwalk.  However, at Paris Fashion Week 2025, what had become elusive with fabric and flesh and was achieved with latex, a male model appearing in a gender-bending top during the presentation of Dutch designer Duran Lantink's (b 1998) fall 2025 Duranimal collection.  What turned out to be the most publicized item in the Palais de Tokyo Room wasn’t the collection of pieces featuring bold animal prints with striking silhouettes, but one never to be in any high street catalogue, a flesh-colored torso with a pair of realistic, jiggling, prosthetic breasts worn by male model Chandler Frye.

Tit for tat: Mica Argañaraz strutting in T-shirt.

What the male mode wore was, in design terms, a crop top, albeit one with untypical choices in material and construction, and the companion piece was worn by model Mica Argañaraz: a T-shirt also in skin-tone latex, molded in the form of an idealized male torso, something like those the sculptors of Antiquity once carved in marble.  Both were on display on a catwalk which snaked around a maze of cubicles filled with headset-wearing workers shuffling and stapling papers, something which may have had some thematic connection which what was on show although no explanation was provided.  While the T-shirt seems to have provoked few comments, there were criticisms of the latex boobs, usually in some way an objection to the objectification of the female body (something generally thought a battle long lost) while others denied this could possibly thought “fashion” which was about as pointless an observation as any of those by the many who over the years have dismissed porcelain urinals, drip paintings and such as “not art”.  When asked about the use of a woman’s body as a “costume” (nobody asked about the make torso), Mr Lantink replied it was “…about cosplay, it’s playing with bad taste, it’s about form. Every season, we’re trying to sort of surprise ourselves with how can we change an original piece into something that we find interesting”, adding: “And we’re gonna do whatever the fuck we want because we’re free.

On the catwalk: Lindsay Lohan in a Heart Truth Red Dress during Olympus Fashion Week, Fall, 2006, The Tent, New York City.

How to walk like catwalk model

Traci Halvorson of Halvorson Model Management (HMM) in San Jose, California, has written a useful guide for those wishing to learn the technique of walking like a catwalk (increasingly now called the gender-neutral “runway”) model.  Although walking on a wide, stable flat surface, in a straight line with few other instructions except “don’t fall over”, doesn’t sound difficult, the art is actually a tightly defined set of parameters which not all can master.  Some models who excel at static shots and are well-known from their photographic work can’t be used on a catwalk because their gait, while within the normal human range, simply isn’t a “catwalk walk”.  It’s thus a construct, of clothes, shoes, style and even expression and catwalk models need to be adaptable, able to achieve essentially the same thing whether in 6-inch (150 mm) high stilettos or slippery-soled ballet flats; it’s harder than it sounds and as all models admit, nothing improves one’s technique like practice.

(1) The facial expression.  It sounds a strange place to start but it’s not because if the facial expression is unchanging it means it’s easier to focus on everything else, the rational being that humans use their range of facial expression to convey emotion and attitude but this all has to be neutralized to permit the photographers (paradoxically the audience is less relevant) to capture what are defined “catwalk” shots.  Set the chin to point slightly down though don’t hang the head; the angle should be almost imperceptible and it recommended to imagine an invisible string attached to the top of the head holding the chin in its set position.

(2) Do not smile.  Catwalk models do not smile because it draws attention away from the product although this does not mean looking miserable or unhappy; instead look “serious” and this usually is done by perfecting what is described as a “neutral” expression, one which would defy an observer being able to tell whether the wearer is happy or sad.  To achieve this, the single most important aspect is to keep the mouth closed in a natural position, something like what is recommended for a passport photograph and ask others to judge the look but as a note of caution, there will be failures because some girls just look sort of happy no matter what.  In most of life, this will be of advantage so a career other than the catwalk will beckon.

(3) On the catwalk, keep the eyes focused straight ahead.  This not only makes walking easier but also self-imposes a discipline which will help maintain the static facial expression.  Because the eyes are focused straight-ahead, it will stop the head moving and the look will be the desired one of alertness and purposefulness.  Some models recommend imagining a object moving in front of them and focus on that and in the situations where there’s a procession on the catwalk, it’s possible usually to fixate on some unmoving point on the model ahead.

(5) Don’t fall over.  It’s an obvious point but it does happen and usually, shoes are responsible, either because the nature of the construction has so altered the model’s centre of gravity or there's  contact between footwear and some flowing piece of fabric, either one’s own or one in the wake of the model ahead.  There is no better training to avoid “catwalk stacks” than to practice in a wide variety of shoe types.

(5) If possible, arrange a replica catwalk on which to practice, it need only to be a few paces long and arranged so the walk is towards a full-length mirror.  For side views, film using a carefully positioned camera and compare the result with footage of actual catwalk models at work.  If possible, work in pairs or a group because you’ll hone each other’s techniques but remember this is serious business and criticism will need to be frank; feelings may need to be hurt on the walk to the catwalk.

(6) Stand up straight, imagining the invisible string holding the head in place being also attached to the spine.  Keep the shoulders back but not unnaturally so, posture needs to be good but not stiff or exaggerated and a good posture can to some extent compensate for a lack of height.  Again, this needs to be practiced in front of a mirror and practice will improve the technique, the object being to stand straight while looking relaxed and comfortable.

(7) Perfecting the actual catwalk walk will take some time because, although it looks entirely natural when done by models, it’s not actually the “natural” way most people walk.  To train, begin purely mechanistically, placing one foot in front of the other and walking with (comfortably) long strides, the best trick being to mark a line on the floor with chalk and imagine walking on a rope, keeping one foot in front of the other, allowing the hips slightly to move from side to side; the classic model look.  With sufficient practice, what designers call the model’s “strut” will evolve and in conjunction with the other techniques, there’ll be a projection of assuredness and confidence.

(8) However, the hips need symmetrically and slightly to move, not swing.  Catwalk models are hired as platforms for clothes within a narrow dimensional range and this includes not only the cut of the fabric but also the extent it is required to move as the body moves and motion must not be exaggerated.  When practicing this, again it’s preferable to work in pairs or groups.

How it's done.  Catwalk models need to look good coming or going.

(9) Limit the movement of the arms when walking.  Let the arms hang at the sides with the hands relaxed, the swing of the limbs sufficient only to ensure the look is not unnaturally stylized and certainly nothing like that of most people on the street.  Many report when first practicing that there’s a tendency for the hands to clench into fists and that’s because of the discipline being imposed on other body parts but from the start, ensure the hands are relaxed, loosely cupped and with a small (natural) gap (something like ¼ inch (5-6 mm) between the fingers.  Allow the arms slightly to bend and they’ll sway (just a little) with the body.

(10) Practice specifically for the occasion.  Just as even the best tennis players have to practice on grass if they’ve just come off playing on clay or hard-courts, at least an hour before an actual catwalk session should be spent practicing in the same style of shoes as will be worn for the session(s).  This applies even if wearing something less challenging like flats because the change in weight distribution and the resultant centre of gravity is profound if the last few days have been spent in 6 inch (150 mm) heels.     

(11) Practice with different types of music because the catwalk walk really is an exercise in rhythm and if one can find a piece which really suits and makes the walk easier to perfect, if it’s possible to imagine that while on the catwalk, that’s good although sometimes there’s music at the shows and not all can focus on what’s in the head while excluding what’s coming through the speakers.

Traci Halvorson's instructions were of course aimed at neophytes wishing to learn the basic technique but among established models there are variations and the odd stake of the individualistic, the most eye-catching of which is the "fierce strut", a usually fast-paced and aggressive march down the catwalk while still using the classic one-foot-in-front-of-the-other motif which so defines the industry.  It's thus not quite Nazi-style goose-stepping or even the hybrid step used most enthusiastically by the female soldiers in the DPRK (North Korean) military but it's clearly strutting with intent.


Recent fierce struts on the catwalk (runway).