Heaven & Hell

Heaven (pronounced hev-uhn)

(1) In theology, the abode of God, the angels, and the spirits of the righteous after death; the place or state of existence of the blessed after the mortal life.

(2) The celestial powers; God (initial capital letter and often in the plural).

(3) A metonym for God.

(4) In architecture, as heavens (used with a singular verb), a wooden roof or canopy over the outer stage of Elizabethan theatres.

(5) In poetic and (mostly historic) scientific & legal use, often in the plural, the sky, firmament, or expanse of space surrounding the earth, including the moon, Sun, planets & stars.

(6) A place or state of supreme happiness, often expressed as “heaven on earth”.

(7) A component of expression (variously singular & plural), used in exclamatory phrases of surprise, exasperation, emphasis etc.

(8) In mythology, a place, such as Elysium or Valhalla, to which those who have died in the gods' favour are brought, there eternally to dwell in happiness.

Pre 900: From the Middle English heven, hevin, heuen & hewin (heaven, sky), from the Old English heofon (home of God (and earlier) the visible sky, firmament), probably from the Proto-Germanic hibin (heaven, sky), a dissimilation of himin and source also of the Middle Low German heven, the Old Saxon heban, the Old Swedish himin, the Low German heben, the Old Norse himinn, the Old Danish himæn, the Gothic himins, the Old Frisian himul, the Scots heaven & hewin, the Dutch hemel and the German Himmel (heaven, sky).  The mysterious Proto-Germanic hibin (which existed also as hebn) is of uncertain and disputed origin.  It was cognate with and possibly the rare Icelandic and Old Norse hifinn (heaven, sky), which may be dissimilated forms of the Germanic root was more familiar in the Old Norse himinn (heaven, sky).  Among etymologists, the most popular alternative root is the Proto-Germanic himinaz (cover, cloud cover, firmament, sky).  A now archaic alternative spelling (in both sacred and secular writing) which persisted in poetry into the twentieth century because of the rhythmic advantages was heav'n.

Stairway to Heaven, sculpture by David McCracken, Bondi, Sydney, Australia.

From the late fourteenth century, the word in English assumed the meaning "a heavenly place; a state of bliss”.  The plural use in sense of "sky" may have emerged from a simple habit of use influenced by other words although a link has been suggested with the Ptolemaic theory of space as composed of many spheres.  It had also been used in the same sense in the singular in Biblical language, as a translation of Hebrew plural shamayim.  The earliest adjectival sense “heaven-sent” is attested from the 1640s.

Hell (pronounced hel)

(1) In theology, the place or state of eternal punishment of the wicked after death; the abode of evil and condemned spirits; Gehenna or Tartarus.  The ruler of hell is said often to be Satan; the Devil.

(2) Any place or state of torment or misery; something that causes torment or misery.

(3) The powers of evil.

(4) The abode of the dead; Sheol or Hades.

(5) Extreme disorder or confusion; chaos.

(6) In informal use, something remarkable of its kind (as in “one hell of a…”).

(7) A receptacle into which a tailor throws scraps and off-cuts (a practice in many industries).  In commercial printing, as the hellbox, a box into which a printer throws discarded type.

(8) A general purpose utterance of in swearing or for emphasis, now generally regarded as not actually obscene; used as an intensifier to express surprise, anger, impatience etc; an general intensifier in many phrases.

(9) A gambling house or booth in which bets are placed (archaic).

(10) In metal-working, to add luster to, burnish silver or gold (now rare).

Pre 900: From the Middle English, from the Old English hel & hell (nether world, abode of the dead, infernal regions, place of torment for the wicked after death), it was cognate with the Old High German hella & hellia (source of the Modern German Hölle), the Icelandic hella (to pour), the Norwegian helle (to pour), the Swedish hälla (to pour), the Old Norse hel & hella and the Gothic halja.  It was related to the Old English helan (to cover, hide) and to hull.  The Old English gained hel & hell from the Proto-Germanic haljō (the underworld) & halija (one who covers up or hides something), the source also of the Old Frisian helle, the Old Saxon hellia, the Dutch hel, the Old Norse hel, the German Hölle & the Gothic halja (hell).  The meaning in the early Germanic languages was derived from the sense of a "concealed place", hence the Old Norse hellir meaning "cave or cavern", from the primitive Indo-European root kel (to cover, conceal, save).  In sacred art, hell, whether frozen or afire, is almost always depicted as a cavernous place.

The English traditions of use may have been influenced by Norse mythology and the Proto-Germanic forms.  In the Norse myths, Halija (one who covers up or hides something) was the name of the daughter of Loki who rules over the evil dead in Niflheim, the lowest of all worlds (nifl "mist") and it was not uncommon for pagan concepts and traditions to be grafted onto Christian rituals and idiom.  Hell was used figuratively to describe a state of misery or bad experience (of which there must have been many in the Middle Ages) since the late fourteenth century and as an expression of disgust by the 1670s.  In eighteenth century England, there were a number of Hellfire Clubs, places where members of the elite could indulge their immoral proclivities.  They were said to attract many politicians.

Lindsay Lohan at a promotion for John John "Made in Heaven" jeans, Rua Oscar Freire, Sao Paulo, Brazil, March 2013.

It proved adaptable in the English vernacular.  To have all hell break loose is from circa 1600; to hell in a handbasket is attested by 1867 (an in a context implying earlier use) although it may simply have been derivative of to heaven in a handbasket from 1853 which was a happy phrase implying an easy passage to a nice place.  Hell or high water from 1874 seems to have been a variation of the earlier between the devil and the deep blue sea and the first recorded instance of wishing someone would go to hell seems to have been in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice although it’s hard to believe it hadn’t before then been a familiar oral form and one with which the bard may well have been acquainted.  The snowflake’s (later snowball's) chance in hell meaning "no chance" is from 1931 and till hell freezes over meaning "never" is documented from 1832.  To do something just for the hell of it is from 1921, to ride (a horse) hell for leather is from 1889 and hell on wheels was noted (in the US) first in 1843, a reference to the river steamboats which, for propulsion, used large wheels rather than propellers and gained a general popularity after 1869 after it was used in reference to the temporary vice-ridden towns established along the path of the US transcontinental railroad.  Unrelated to this was the earlier (1580s) Scottish hell-wain (a phantom wagon seen in the sky at night).

What happens to snowflakes and snowballs in hell is interesting.  In the writings drawn from the Abrahamic traditions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, hell is certainly a hot place, the “fire and brimstone” of the New Testament used in the US as a description of a certain type of preacher.  However, in the Divine Comedy (1320), Dante Alighieri (circa 1265–1321) located hell in Earth’s innermost core and he wrote of its characteristics in ways consistent with Aristotelian dynamics; it was mostly hot and fiery but in some places frozen and immobile:

When we were down in that ditch’s darkness, well below the giant’s feet, my gaze still drawn by the wall above us, I heard a voice say: ‘Watch where you walk. Step so as not to tread upon our heads, the heads of wretched, weary brothers.’ At that I turned to look about. Under my feet I saw a lake so frozen that it seemed more glass than water. Never in winter did the Austrian Danube nor the far-off Don, under its frigid sky, cover their currents with so thick a veil as I saw there.

This prison of ice is reserved for a variety of different species of traitors. Depending on the severity of their offense, they may only be frozen from the waist down; or, they may be completely immersed.

A vision of Hell: Pandæmonium (1841) by John Martin (1789–1854).

Dante lists the intricate layers of location for the punishment of sinners and evildoers and while some are hot, the ninth and innermost circle, reserved for the worst of the worst, is icy cold.  Dante goes further, noting that even within the ninth circle, there are gradations, the worst and coldest spot kept for Judas Iscariot.  A colder conception of hell than that familiar from scripture but the idea of a cold hell exists also in Buddhism and some Christian texts of the first millennium.  Dante’s marvelous work was however for centuries neglected and others took the chance to make sure the Biblical stories held sway, John Milton (1608-1674) in Paradise Lost (1667-1674) having the last word, convincing all that Hell was no place for snowflakes.  So today it remains.

“At once, as far as Angel’s ken, he views

The dismal situation waste and wild.

A dungeon horrible, on all sides round,

As one great furnace flamed; yet from those flames

No light; but rather darkness visible

Served only to discover sights of woe,

Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace

And rest can never dwell, hope never comes

That comes to all, but torture without end

Still urges, and a fiery deluge, fed

With ever-burning sulphur unconsumed.”

For those wondering about the fate of certain friends and family members or contemplating their own eternal fate, Dante’s Lonely Planet Guide to Hell summarizes the nine circles thus:

(1) Limbo: The first circle of Hell is Limbo, where the souls of the unbaptized and virtuous pagans reside; while there are no actual punishments, those in Limbo are forever denied the joy of God's presence.  Limbo, frankly, was a bit of a fudge, concocted by medieval theologians as a work-around to avoid the worst injustices of strict Christian rules (notably the souls of the stillborn being sent to Hell on the basis of being unbaptized).  Still it was orthodox Christian thought in Dante’s time and although in subsequent centuries there was much debate, it never went away.  Benedict XVI (1927–2022; pope 2005-2013, pope emeritus 2013-2022), no stranger to dancing on the head of a pin, seemed both to clarify and cloud the waters by saying limbo was only ever “medieval conjecture” and given there is no explicit answer from Scripture, people seem still free to make of it what they will.

(2) Lust: The second circle is for the lustful.  They are punished by being blown around in a violent storm, symbolizing their lack of self-control.  Perhaps surprisingly, given the fixation many modern denominations seem to have upon anything to do with sex, historically the Christian churches regarded lust usually as the “least to be condemned” of the seven deadly sins, the basis of that, as Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) pointed out: it was a sin “of the flesh and not the soul” and thus both understandable and forgivable as would one forgive one’s pet cat for eating the meat; it’s just what cats do.  Lust (sometimes expressed as “lechery) included not only fornication but also rape, adultery and “unnatural acts upon beasts of the field” so it was an uncharacteristically generous view from the pulpit.  Of course, given the well-documented predilection of priests, bishops and the odd pope to lustful ways, the relaxed view may have been corporate self-interest.

(3) Gluttony: The third circle is for the gluttonous. They are forced to lie in a vile slush of filth, symbolizing the garbage of their excessive consumption.  Theologians had a broader view of gluttony than is now current in that they were thinking also in terms of social justice; one person’s excessive consumption meant there were others who went hungry.  Some also explored aspects of gluttony as an example of “the idolatry of food” and thus a violation of one of the Ten Commandments.  One improbable supporter of this was Benito Mussolini (1883-1945; Duce (leader) & prime-minister of Italy 1922-1943) who re-purposed the notion in his forlorn attempt to convince Italians it was time to re-create the Roman Empire, lambasting his countrymen for “…following the French into the decadence of elevating cooking to high art while letting the blade of the sword fall to rust.”

(4) Greed: The fourth circle is for the greedy. They are divided into two groups and forced to push heavy weights, symbolizing their excessive desire for material wealth.  Again it’s linked to worship of a “false idol”, the “worship of money” being the “root of all evil” long accepted as orthodox Christian theology (often acknowledged rather than practiced) although the distinction seems lost in many of the modern evangelical congregations (notably those which sing, clap and strum guitars) where it’s made clear McMansions, surf-skis and a big TV in as many rooms as possible is most Godly.

(5) Wrath: The fifth circle is for the wrathful. They are submerged in the river Styx and must fight each other on the surface.  Wrath does seem a curious basis on which to be condemned to Hell, if only because if too rigorously enforced there would be few not damned.  The point seemed to be that the Christian message was not that one should never feel anger (indeed the Church would clarify this by saying mere anger was “neutral”) but that one should “practice Christian charity” and never allow wrathful thoughts to lead to the harming of one’s neighbour. 

(6) Heresy: The sixth circle is for the heretics. They are trapped in flaming tombs, symbolizing their rejection of God's love.  Heresy really is about as bad as it gets because it means one has disagreed with what the priest says and that means defying the pope who, as the “Vicar of Christ on Earth” is uniquely able to express the thoughts of God.  So, what the pope says goes which is why he is “infallible” in such matters; the internal logic is perfect.  While wrathful souls may end up in the fifth circle, a wrathful God is going to punish heretics by sending them for eternity to the sixth: “Vengeance is Mine” said the Lord.

(7) Violence: The seventh circle is divided into three rings, each for a different type of violence: against others, against oneself, and against God. The punishments include being boiled in blood, being transformed into trees and bushes, and being chased and mauled by dogs with sharp teeth.  It’s been hard for critics to resist the feeling Dante enjoyed writing of the sufferings in the seventh circle more than any other, possibly because of the exalted positions many of the victims enjoyed during however many of their four score & ten they managed.  The sanction of violence against self (suicide & attempted suicide) entered the criminal law systems in many jurisdictions and it’s only in recent decades that in some places it has been reclassified from crime to health condition of some type.

(8) Fraud: The eighth circle is for the fraudulent. It is divided into ten bolgias (from the Italian bolgia used here in the sense of “ditch”), each for a different type of fraud. The punishments include being whipped by demons, being immersed in excrement, and being transformed into reptiles.  In the matter of fraud, Dante casts a wider net than the offence captures in the modern imagination where it ranges from shop-lifting to Bernie Madoff’s (1938–2021) Ponzi scheme.  Instead of involving just financial matters, Dante encompasses fraud in a kind of omnibus bill which captures sins as diverse as those who corrupt others with flattery, those who seduce the innocent with lies and deception, those who practice magic & sorcery, those who corrupt the truth by the pedalling of fake news as well as, most obviously, thieves.

(9) Treachery: The ninth circle is for the treacherous. It is divided into four rounds, each for a different type of treachery. The punishments include being frozen in ice, being gnawed on by a three-headed demon, and being devoured by Lucifer himself.  Dante makes clear the sin of treachery is the worst of all and because there’s obviously some overlap with the offences which justify being sent to the other eight, the ninth is reserved for the worst of the worst.  Interestingly, the ninth circle is the part of Hell Dante describes as an icy, frozen place, something usually ignored in pop-culture, film-makers and Satanists staging their video clips almost always preferring fire, molten lava and red-hot pokers.  It could though be worse still because in the centre of Hell sits miserably the Devil, cast there for committing the ultimate sin: his personal treachery against God which saw him forever banished from Heaven.

Benedict XVI looking for Cardinal George Pell (1941-2023).  Canto XVIII, part of the eighth circle of Hell, in Divine Comedy (circa 1494), illustrated by Sandro Botticelli (Alessandro di Mariano di Vanni Filipepi; circa 1445–1510).

Cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos

The legal doctrine cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos (whoever's is the soil, it is theirs all the way to Heaven and all the way to Hell) is a historic principle of property law which holds the owner of a piece of land enjoys rights not just to the defined soil but to the air above (stretching to Heavens, ie to infinity) and what lay below (as far as Hell, ie all the way down); the legal shorthand is ad coelum.  Developments in technology, such as radio waves and flight, have much modified the doctrine but it continues, with limitations, to operate.  Some of the airspace above a piece of land can be recognized as a property right and as something therefore transferable but the right does not extend far, a position modified also in international law as long ago as the 1950s to accommodate the implication of satellites and, later, space flight, realizing the implications of discussions which had been going on since the advent of flight.  The rights to ownership of what lies below the soil and even the right to deny access to others now varies between jurisdictions but has long since ceased to be absolute.

Although there are no specific references in the record, it may be the origin of the maxim lies in in Roman or Jewish law, or at least customary practice.  The earliest surviving mention in English law is recorded in Bury v Pope (1587) Cro Eliz 118, [1653] EngR 382, (1653) Cro Eliz 118, (1653) 78 ER 375 (B), the Chief Justice, Sir Edward Coke (1552–1634), holding “the earth hath in law a great extent upwards, not only of water as hath been said, but of aire, and all other things even up to heaven, for cujus est solum ejus est usque ad coelum, as it is holden.”, finding for a plaintiff seeking to erect a structure which would block to his neighbor’s window the light which had fallen there for thirty years.  Even then however, limits were noted, Sir Edward saying ad coelum might be defeated if a claim for a right in conflict could be found to have existed prior to 1189, the significance of the date being the beginning of the reign of King Richard I (1157–1199; King of England 1189-1199) and, mentioned here as a legal fiction, the end point of time immemorial.

English law seems to have picked it up from the writings of thirteenth century Italian jurist Accursius (circa 1182–1263), and is said to have been used in common law during the reign of Edward I (1239–1307; King of England 1272- 1307) and the legal framework (air above and ground below) was defined by William Blackstone in his treatise Commentaries on the Laws of England (1766).

Land hath also, in its legal signification, an indefinite extent, upwards as well as downwards. Cujus est solum, ejus est usque ad coelum, is the maxim of the law, upwards; therefore no man may erect any building, or the like, to overhang another's land: and, downwards, whatever is in a direct line between the surface of any land, and the center of the earth, belongs to the owner of the surface; as is every day's experience in the mining countries. So that the word "land" includes not only the face of the earth, but every thing under it, or over it. And therefore if a man grants all his lands, he grants thereby all his mines of metal and other fossils, his woods, his waters, and his houses, as well as his fields and meadows.

Heaven and Hell: Google and Bing

In a study hardly scientific but with a consistent methodology, a Google search for Heaven yielded 1.1 billion results and one for Hell, 784 million.  The same search using Microsoft’s Bing engine delivered 51.4 million hits for Heaven and 48.9 million for Hell.  Noting the method in the search engines' algorithm which underpins how results are delivered, this suggests 58.82% of Google’s users favor God and 41.18% prefer the Devil while Microsoft’s users are more evenly divided, 51.25% being godly and 48.75% Satanists.  Given the state of the world, both God and Satan might have hoped for better numbers but the results are unlikely greatly to have surprised either and it seems to confirm what Google have long said: Use Bing and burn in Hell.

Vapid

Vapid (pronounced vap-id)

(1) Lacking or having lost life, sharpness, or flavor; insipid; flat.

(2) Without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious; flavorless, spiritless, unanimated, tiresome, prosaic.

1650s:  From the Latin vapidus (literally “that has exhaled its vapor”) and related to vappa (stale wine).  The word was used in Latin to describe anything the taste of which was thought bland, flat or insipid.  Related forms include the adverb vapidly and the noun vapidness but the most common form is the noun vapidity which dates from 1721.  The application to talk and text and music thought dull and lifeless dates from 1758.  The Latin vappa (wine without flavor) is still used figuratively in many languages (sometimes as "bit of a vapp") to refer to a man who is "a good-for-nothing" or a bit foppish.

The Koryo Burger

The Koryo Burger package.

It’s estimated that prior to Covid-19, some five-thousand Western tourists annually would visit the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK; North Korea), a trade it was hoped might quickly recover given it wasn't until early 2022 that the first COVID-19 outbreak of the pandemic was confirmed.  Remaining virus-free for so long was said to be an example of The Supreme Leader’s outstanding administration of the public health system, the outbreak the fault of lazy officials would have been dealt with in the DPRK way.  It’s not yet clear when the boarders will be re-opened, Pyongyang having no desire to expose its happy and grateful population to foreign diseases but one thing prospective tourists hungrily can anticipate is the national airline’s in-flight meal.  Although Air Koryo serves only the famously vapid Koryo Burger, it’s legendarily consistent, always cold and presented on a paper doily.  Inside the bun is a piece of unidentified processed meat, a slice of processed cheese, a dash of shredded cabbage or single lettuce leaf, finished with a dollop of sauce described variously as “reddish” or “brownish”.  Some sources, claiming to have received confirmation from the airline, suggest the meat is chicken but speculation on the Internet has long pondered the matter because it seems impossible to tell from the taste (there isn't any) or texture (said to be equally indeterminate).

The Koryo Burger expanded.

Air Koryo did in the past dabble with other culinary offerings.  Some years ago for several months, for reasons unknown, on some inbound flights full meals appeared including curried rice and side dishes and also served was a sort of sandwich wrapped in a Danish pastry but neither innovation lasted and in recent years it's been burgers all the way, Air Koryo clearly having decided to stick to the classics.  The decision may have been in response to public demand given the cult-following the Koryo Burger has attracted, #koryoburger a must-visit tag for any foodie.  Surely not as repugnant as some have alleged, the many reviews of the experience of eating one seem to struggle to find words adequately to convey blandness rather than awfulness although, apart from the plastic packaging which seems to be of a good standard, there’s no aspect of the burger which escapes condemnation, the buns said always to be stale (either through age, incorrect storage or some flaw in the manufacturing process), the meat patty vapid to the point where it’s been suggested the admired wrapping may be more tasty, the lettuce or cabbage usually limp and the smell of the sauce said to suggest some association with wood-working glue although one reviewer mentioned their relief at finding a thin liquid which oozed from the patty was too watery to be blood.  Most however did concede the slice of processed cheese was about the same as plastic cheese anywhere on the planet.  Koryo burgers are served chilled, apparently straight from the fridge and it may be that this accounts for much of the expressed distaste; were they served at the temperature at which burgers are typically enjoyed, it’s not impossible the Koryo Burger would taste much the same as similar offerings anywhere.

The Koryo Burger surprise.  Until opened, the passenger doesn't know whether the burger will contain lettuce leaves or shredded cabbage.

The airline review site Skytrax has for years consistently rated Air Koryo as the world’s worst airline but unfortunately they don’t provide the qualitative data which might indicate what part the Koryo Burger plays in securing the national carrier's perpetual last place.  It may be Skytrax’s reviewers allowed themselves unduly to be influenced by the burger; the customer write-ups of aspects of Air Koryo not touching on anything culinary actually often positive and not infrequently making the point the DPRK carrier is in some ways superior to some in the West.

The vegetarian option.

Neither can it be denied there has been gastronomic progress in the DPRK’s skies.  While in the days of Kim I (Kim Il-sung, 1912-1994; The Great Leader of DPRK 1948-1994) and Kim II (Kim Jong-il, 1941–2011; The Dear Leader of DPRK 1994-2011), the only choice usually was to eat the burger or not eat the burger, in the new age of Kim III (Kim Jong-un, b circa 1982; The Supreme Leader (originally The Great Successor) of DPRK since 2011), there's now a vegetarian option, which is the familiar Koryo Burger but with sliced cherry tomatoes in place of the meat patty.  Few have commented on the veggie burger but one reviewer praised the tomatoes, saying they tasted better than those he ate elsewhere which tended to look nice and bright but usually lacked flavor.

Air Koryo quality control.

Every morning, the DPRK's Supreme Leader and noted gastronome personally selects the buns used to make Koryo Burgers, the buns Kim Jong-un rejects being fed to political prisoners who are said to be grateful to receive them.  The tradition of the daily selection of buns was started by his grandfather (the Great Leader) and carried on by his father (the Dear Leader).  The Supreme Leader's entourage always carry notebooks and pens in case he says anything interesting.  They all write it down. 

Enormous & Enormity

Enormous (pronounced ih-nawr-muhs)

(1) Greatly exceeding the common size, extent; huge; immense.

(2) Outrageous or atrocious; extremely wicked; heinous (archaic).

1525-1535: From the Latin ēnormis (irregular, unusual, enormous, immense out of rule, shapeless, extraordinary, very large), an assimilated form of ex- (out of, away) + norma (rule, norm, pattern) + the English –ous substituted for the Latin -is.  The modern meaning (extraordinary in size; very big) is attested from 1540s, the original sense was "outrageous" and more obviously preserved in enormity.  The earlier spelling from the mid-fifteenth century was enormyous (exceedingly great, monstrous).  The –ous suffix is from the Middle English -ous, from the Old French –ous & -eux, from the Latin -ōsus (full, full of); A doublet of -ose in an unstressed position.  It was used to form adjectives from nouns, to denote possession or presence of a quality in any degree, commonly in abundance.  In chemistry, it has a specific technical application, used in the nomenclature to name chemical compounds in which a specified chemical element has a lower oxidation number than in the equivalent compound whose name ends in the suffix -ic.  For example sulphuric acid (H₂SO₄) has more oxygen atoms per molecule than sulphurous acid (H₂SO₃).  Synonyms include colossal, excessive, gargantuan, gigantic, huge, humongous, immense, mammoth, massive, monstrous, prodigious, vast, astronomic, gross & jumbo.  Enormous is an adjective, enormously is the adverb and enormousness the noun.

Enormity (pronounced ih-nawr-mi-tee)

(1) Outrageous or heinous character; atrociousness; as an offense; extreme wickedness.

(2) Greatness of size, scope, extent, or influence; immensity (archaic).

1425–1475: From the Late Middle English enormite & ēnorme (monstrous or unnatural act; enormity), from the Old French énormité (extravagance, atrocity, heinous sin), from the Latin enormitatem, nominative ēnormitās (irregularity, enormity, hughness), the construct being ēnōrmis (irregular, unusual, enormous, immense out of rule, shapeless, extraordinary, very large) + -itās (the suffix forming nouns indicating states of being).  The –ity suffix was from the French -ité, from the Middle French -ité, from the Old French –ete & -eteit (-ity), from the Latin -itātem, from -itās, from the primitive Indo-European suffix –it.  It was cognate with the Gothic –iþa (-th), the Old High German -ida (-th) and the Old English -þo, -þu & -þ (-th).  It was used to form nouns from adjectives (especially abstract nouns), thus most often associated with nouns referring to the state, property, or quality of conforming to the adjective's description.  Synonyms include depravity, horror, magnitude, abomination, atrociousness, atrocity, crime, disgrace, evil, evilness, grossness, heinousness, monstrosity, nefariousness, outrage, outrageousness & rankness.  The noun plural is enormities.

Lindsay Lohan with enormous inflatable toy zebra, V Magazine's Black and White Ball, Standard Hotel, New York, September 2011.

Enormity is a classic case study in (1) meaning adoption in English and (2) why such changes should be accepted where, whatever the etymological tradition, the new meaning makes more sense than the old and good replacement words exist to service the previous meaning.  The modern convention is that enormous means “extreme” in the sense of a pure, neutral measure of dimension and enormity means “extremely heinous or wicked; most awful”.  Enormity being often used as a synonym for "enormousness," rather than "great wickedness" means the potential exists to confuse readers where the intended meaning may not be otherwise derived from context.  There are pedants on both sides (1) those who point to the different roots in French, and radically different accepted meanings and (2) those who note the same source in Latin and the long pattern of use in English.  While it’s true enormity has continuously and frequently been used in the sense of “physical or dimensional immensity” since the eighteenth century, it’s really not helpful given that “enormous” exists and meaning will always be clear.  It’s true that examples do exist where enormity can, without apparently being misleading, serve to describe both the scale and atrociousness of the holocaust or the gulag but it’s true also that there are examples where it might provoke misunderstanding: given the troubled history, one should not speak of the enormity of the Congo were one intending to allude to it being a vast land mass.

Thematic consistancy: Lindsay Lohan at home, Venice Beach, California, June, 2011.  On the wall is one of two enormous images of Lindsay Lohan which decorate the triplex.  

Mansfield

Mansfield (pronounced manz-feeld)

The slang term for the protective metal structures attached to the underside of trucks and trailers, designed to protect occupants of vehicles in “under-run” crashes (the victim’s vehicle impacting, often at mid-windscreen height with the solid frame of the truck’s tray).  A Mansfield bar, technically is called the RUPS (Rear Underrun Protection System).

1967: The devices are known as “Mansfield” bars because interest in the system was heightened after the death of the actress Jayne Mansfield (1933-1967), killed in an under-run accident on 28 June 1967.  The origin of the surname Mansfield is habitational with origins in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire. The early formations, recorded in the thirteenth century Domesday Book, show the first element uniformly as the Celtic Mam- (mother or breast (Manchester had a similar linkage)) with the later addition of the Old English feld (pasture, open country, field) as the second element.  The locational sense is thus suggestive of an association of the field by a hill called “Man”.  The etymology, one suspects, would have pleased Jayne Mansfield.

Mansfield crash aftermath, 28 June 1967.

On 28 June 1967, Jayne Mansfield was a front-seat passenger in a 1966 Buick Electra 225, en route to New Orleans where she was next day to be the subject of an interview.  While cruising along the highway at around two in the morning, the driver failed to perceive the semi-truck in front had slowed to a crawl because an anti-mosquito truck ahead was conducting fogging and blocking the lane.  The mist from the spray masked the truck's trailer and, the driver unable to react in time, the car hit at high speed, sliding under the semi-trailer, killing instantly the three front-seat occupants.  Although the myth has long circulated she was decapitated, an idea lent some credence by the visual ambiguity of photographs published at the time, while it was a severe head trauma, an autopsy determined the immediate cause of death was a "crushed skull with avulsion of cranium and brain".

Mansfield crash aftermath, 28 June 1967.

The phenomenon of the “under-run” accident happens with some frequency because of a co-incidence of dimensions in the machines using the roads.  Pre-dating motorised transport, loading docks were built at a height of around four feet (48 inches; 1.2 m) because that was the most convenient height for men of average height engaged in loading and unloading goods.  Horse-drawn carts and later trucks were built to conform to this standard so trays would always closely align with dock.  Probably very shortly after cars and trucks began sharing roads, they started crashing into each other and, despite impact speeds and traffic volumes being relatively low, the under-run accident was noted in statistics as a particular type as early as 1927.

The famous photograph of Sofia Loren (b 1934, left) and Jayne Mansfield (right), Los Angeles, 1957.

In the post-war years, speeds and traffic volumes rose and, coincidentally, the bonnet or hood-lines on cars became lower, the windscreen now often somewhere around four feet high so the under-run vulnerability was exacerbated, cars now almost designed to slide under a truck to the point of the windscreen, thus turning the tray into a kind of horizontal guillotine, slicing into the passenger compartment at head-height.  That’s exactly how Jayne Mansfield died.

Rear under-run Mansfield bar.

The US authorities did react, federal regulations requiring trucks and trailers be built with under-ride guards (reflectorized metal bars hanging beneath the back-end of trailers) passed in 1953, but the standards were rudimentary and until the incident in 1967, little attention was paid despite similar accidents killing hundreds each year.  The statistics probably tended to get lost in the ever-increasing road toll, cars of the era being death traps, seat belts and engineering to improve crashworthiness almost unknown.

The Mansfield bar works by preventing the node of the car sling under the truck, protecting the passenger compartment from impact.

After 1967, although regulations were tightened and enforcement, though patchy, became more rigorous, deaths continued and in the US there are still an average of two-hundred fatalities annually in crashes involving Mansfield Bars.  There are proposals by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA) to include Mansfield Bars on any truck inspection and suggesting to improve the design to something more effective, the devices since 1963 little more than brute force impact barriers and there’s interest in spring-loaded devices which would absorb more of the energy generated in a crash.  Coincidentally, the increasing preference by consumers for higher, bluff-fronted SUVs and light (a relative term in the US market) trucks has helped improve this aspect or road safety.

There’s concern too about side impacts.  Only a very small numbers of trucks have ever been fitted with any side impact protection and this omission also make corner impacts especially dangerous.  The cost of retro-fitting side (and therefore corner) Mansfield bars to a country’s entire heavy transport fleet would be onerous and it may be practical to phase in any mandatory requirements only over decades.

A photograph of a parked car & truck, the juxtaposition illustrating the limits of the protection afforded, especially in cases when the truck's tray extends beyond the rear axle-line.  The moving truck was one of two hired by Lindsay Lohan when in early 2012 she moved out of 419 Venice Way, Venice Beach, Los Angeles where during 2011 she lived (in the house to the right; the semi-mirrored construction sometimes called a “pigeon pair”) next door to former special friend Samantha Ronson who inhabited the one to the left (417).  She was compelled to move after a “freemason stalker threatened to kill her”.

Ambassador

Ambassador (pronounced am-bas-uh-dawr)

(1) A diplomatic official of the highest rank, sent by one sovereign or state to another as its resident representative (ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary).

(2) A diplomatic official of the highest rank sent by a government to represent it on a temporary mission, as for negotiating a treaty.

(3) A diplomatic official serving as permanent head of a country's mission to the United Nations or some other international organization.

(4) An authorized messenger or representative.

(5) A term for a corporate representative, often the public face(s) of the company, mush favoured by fashion houses etc.

1325-1375: From the Middle English ambassadore, from the Anglo-Norman ambassadeur & ambassateur, from the Old Italian ambassatore (ambassador in the dialectal Italian), from the Old Occitan ambaisador (ambassador), a derivative of ambaissa (service, mission, errand), from the Medieval Latin ambasiator, from the andbahti (service, function), from the Proto-Germanic ambahtiją (service, office), a derivative of the Proto-Germanic ambahtaz (servant), from the Gaulish ambaxtos (servant) which was the source also of the Classical Latin ambactus (vassal, servant, dependent).  The early Proto-Celtic ambaxtos (servant), was from the primitive Indo-European ambhi (drive around), from ambi- (around) + ag- (to drive).  The adjective ambassadorial (of or belonging to an ambassador) dates from 1759.

The spellings ambassador and embassador were used indiscriminately until the nineteenth century, the OED (Oxford English Dictionary) curiously continuing, well into the twentieth century, to insist the later was the preferred form in US English long after it had there been abandoned everywhere except in the halls of the State Department.  In diplomatic use, the US government had an interesting history of nomenclature, neither sending nor accrediting foreign ambassadors, having only “ministers”.  The reason for this lies in the origins of the United States as a revolutionary state freeing itself from monarchical tyranny; it thus insisted only on ministers who represented states, not ambassadors who historically were the personal emissaries of sovereigns.  Functionally there was no difference and not infrequently, in in casual use ministers were styled as ambassadors with neither offence or declaration of war following and, having made the political point for a century, after 1893, every minister became instead an ambassador.

Margaret Qualley (b 1994), Venice Film Festival, August 2019, Brand Ambassador for French fashion house Chanel.

Diplomatic ranks since 1961

Diplomatic rank is the system of professional and social rank used in the world of diplomacy and international relations. A diplomat's rank determines many ceremonial details, such as the order of precedence at official processions, the seat at the table at state dinners, the person to whom diplomatic credentials should be presented and the title by which they should be addressed.

The current system of diplomatic ranks was established by the Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations (1961) and the modern ranks are a simplified version of the more elaborate system established by the Congress of Vienna (1814-1815).  There are now three senior ranks, two of which remain in use:

Ambassador. An ambassador is a head of mission who is accredited to the receiving country's head of state. They head a diplomatic mission known as an embassy, which is usually headquartered in a chancery in the receiving state's capital, often clustered with others is what’s often styled a “diplomatic quarter”, a feature of town-planning especially associated with cities where physical security is a concern.  A papal nuncio is considered to have ambassadorial rank, and they preside over a nunciature and often, in predominantly Roman Catholic countries are, ex officio, appointed dean of the diplomatic corps.  Between Commonwealth countries, high commissioners are exchanged; they preside over a high commission and enjoy the same diplomatic rank as an ambassador.

Minister. A Minister is a head of mission who is accredited to the receiving country's head of state. A Minister heads a legation rather than an embassy. However, the last legations were upgraded to embassies in the late 1960s, and the rank of Minister is now obsolete.  An envoy or an internuncio was also considered to have the rank of Minister; they’re now granted status ad-hoc but tend to be regarded as being on the level of consular appointments.

None of this should be confused with the long and tangled history of the resident minister, appointments sometimes political, sometimes diplomatic and sometime administrative.  At different times and in different places, it’s meant different things, used essentially to mean whatever the immediate situation demanded and, being outside any formal rules or conventions of diplomacy, flexibility was possible.

A chargé d'affaires en pied (usually styled as chargé d'affairs in everyday use) is a permanent head of mission, accredited by his country's foreign minister to the receiving nation's foreign minister, in cases where the two governments have not reached an agreement to exchange ambassadors.  A chargé d'affaires ad interim is a diplomat who temporarily heads a diplomatic mission in the absence of an ambassador.

A variety of titles exist beneath the formal three such as counsellor, first secretary, second secretary, third secretary, attaché and assistant attaché.  The actual roles discharged vary, indeed, some of these jobs are actually covers for spies or other political operatives and, just as ambassadorships are used often as a rewards for helpful services (such as large campaign donations) or as a temptingly lucrative sinecure to get a potential rival out of the country, the lower appointments have been a dumping ground for troublesome public servants when, for whatever reason, they can’t be sacked.  The diplomatic appointment also determines the description of the architecture.  An ambassador works from (and usually lives in) an embassy where other diplomats (except Commonwealth high commissioners who operate from high commissions) tend to be housed in consulates.  Like ambassador and embassador, the terms ambassy and embassy used to be interchangeable but in each case one prevailed and the other went extinct.  Etymology has no explanation for either case except it was just a pattern of use which emerged and that’s how English evolves.

The word embassy evolved in another way.  It now, institutionally and architecturally, refers to something permanent but, until the late nineteenth century was more often a temporary mission and described a delegation which would return home when its business concluded.  The history is reflected in some terms still used in diplomacy such as "Head of Mission".

Uncle Otto and nephew Eric

Uncle Otto, saluting, Paris 1940.

Because the Third Reich never concluded a peace treaty with Vichy France, diplomatic recognition was not possible so no ambassador was accredited.  However, there was a de-facto ambassador, Hitler appointing Otto Abetz (1903-1958) to the German Embassy in Paris in November 1940, a post he held until July 1944 when diplomatic conditions changed a bit.  As the letters patent made clear, he acted with full ambassadorial authority.  In July 1949 a French court handed Abetz a twenty-year sentence for crimes against humanity; released in 1954, he died in 1958 in a traffic accident on the Cologne-Ruhr autobahn and there are conspiracy theorists who suspect the death was an "assassination".

Nephew Eric, taking tea, Canberra 2018.

Otto Abetz was the great uncle of Eric Abetz (b 1958; Liberal Party senator for Tasmania, Australia 1994-2022, member of the Tasmanian House of assembly since 2024).  Because of the coincidence of one being born in the same year death visited the other, there was speculation about the transmigration of uncle Otto’s soul to nephew Eric.  Spiritualists however generally agree this would have been impossible because the senator was born on 25 January 1958, his old Nazi relative living until 5 May the same year.  Transmigration was known also as metempsychosis and was an idea most associated in the West with pre-Ancient (archaic) Greece but which may (perhaps concurrently) have origins in Egypt and India.

The American Motors Corporation (AMC) Ambassador was produced in eight generations between 1957-1974 although the name had since 1927 been used by a company which would become part of the ultimately doomed AMC conglomerate.  Emblematic of AMC's unsuccessful attempt to compete with Detroit's big three (General Motors, Chrysler & Ford), the Ambassador was in those years offered variously as an intermediate and full-sized car and this unfortunately culminated it's largest ever iteration being sold as the first oil crisis struck in 1973; the universe shifted and the Ambassador was axed in little more than year.  One footnote in the story is that in 1968, AMC's advertising made much of the Ambassador being the only car in the world, except those from Rolls-Royce, which fitted air-conditioning as standard equipment.  That was a bit of a fudge in that at the time a number of European manufacturers fitted air-conditioning (optional in Europe) to all of at least some of the models they shipped to the US but technically, AMC was correct.

Lindsay Logan, nueva embajadora de Allbirds (the new Allbirds ambassador), possibly on a Wednesday.

In 2022, Allbirds appointed Lindsay Lohan as an ambassador for its "Unexpected Athlete" campaign, focusing on her for the new limited edition of its most successful running shoe to date, the Tree Flyer.  The promotional video issued for the announcement was nicely scripted, beginning with Ms Lohan’s perhaps superfluous admission that as an ambassador for running “I am a little unexpected" before working in a few references to her career in film (showing again a rare sense of comedic timing), fondness for peanut butter cookies and the odd social media faux-pas, many of which she's over the years embraced.  The feature shoe is the "Lux Pink" which includes no plastics.  As a well-known car driver and frequent flyer who has for years lived in an air-conditioned cocoon in Dubai, it’s not clear how far up the chart of conspicuous consumption Ms Lohan has stamped her environmental footprint but US-based footwear and apparel company Allbirds claims its design, production & distribution processes are designed to make its products as eco-friendly as possible.  It is a certified “B Corporation”, a system of private certification of for-profit companies of their "social and environmental performance" conferred by B Lab, a non-profit organization which aims to provide consumers with a reliable way to distinguish the genuinely environmentally active from those which cynically “greenwash”.

Lindsay Lohan, Allbirds “Unexpected Athlete Ambassador”.