Largo

Largo (pronounced lahr-goh)

(1) Slow; in a broad, dignified style.

(2) A movement in this style in music; performed slowly and broadly.

1675-1685: From the Italian Largo (slow, broad), from the Classical Latin largus (large, abundant).  In music, as an adjective it generally means "slow in time" and, as a noun, a movement to be performed in such style.  Composers use the modifying adjectives larghet′to to indicate "somewhat slow; not so slow as long; a movement in somewhat slow time & larghis′simo for "extremely slow".

Context matters

In music, largo is an Italian tempo marking.  It translates literally as “broadly”, hence the name of Florida’s Key Largo island chain but to a conductor or musician, it means “play at a slower tempo”.  In composition, the language of tempo markings is nuanced for while both largo and adagio signify a slowing of pace, they convey different meanings to which composers can also add refinements such as the emotionally manipulative bolt-ons giocoso (merry), mesto (sad) and nobilmente (noble).

Adagio (music performed in a slow, leisurely manner, borrowed circa 1745 from the Italian where the construct was ad (at) +‎ agio (ease), from the Vulgar Latin adiacens, present participle of adiacere (to lie at, to lie near), the noun sense in music to describe "a slow movement" dating from 1784) is used also in Italian traffic management (one of public administration’s more challenging assignments), appearing on Italian road signs to suggest a lower speed but drivers would never see a sign urging largo.  Except in musical notation largo means broad, a word of dimension or perspective, the use in music metaphorical as one might speak of the voice of a soprano “darkening” as they age and thus it can be baffling when composer uses largo in its ordinary sense.  In Gioachino Rossini's (1792–1868) The Barber of Seville (1816), a famously fast-paced aria is called "Largo al factotum" but this is not an instruction to the conductor but just a title; the translation being “make way (ie provide a broad space) for the servant”.  Factotum, known in English since 1556, is from the Medieval Latin factotum (do everything) and is used usually to describe a servant or assistant assigned to general duties.  Even in musical notation, the use of largo and adagio wasn’t always consistent among composers.  Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712–1778), remembered as the philosopher who loomed over the French revolution, was also a composer and in his 1768 Dictionary of Music insisted largo was the slowest of all tempo markings but for others it lay somewhere between adagio and andante (in musical direction meaning "moderately slow", a 1742 borrowing from the Italian andante, suggesting "walking" present participle of andare (to go), from the Vulgar Latin ambitare, from the Classical Latin ambitus, past participle of ambire (to go round, go about), the construct being amb- (around), from the primitive Indo-European root ambhi- (around) + ire (go), from ei- (to go)).  Rousseau's definition is now preferred.

While Rousseau didn’t expand on this, largo does by his era seem to have come to be used to signify an expression of emotional intensity, Ombra mai fù, the opening aria from Georg Friederich Händel's (1685–1759) 1738 opera Serse being such an exemplar it’s known famously as “Handel’s Largo from Xerxes”.  A hint of Handel’s intention is his marking on the original score being the diminutive larghetto.  Joseph Haydn (1732–1809) restricted largo only to the personal, emotional passages whereas Ludwig van Beethoven (1770–1827) could use it also as a device of controlled tension, a slowing of tempo almost to a pause.  Others followed Handel, even if the largo became, after Beethoven, less fashionable, the cor anglais-haunted largo from Anton Dvořák's (1841–1904) 1893 Symphony No. 9 in E minor (From the New World) as illustrative of the technique as any.

Comrade Shostakovich (Dmitri Shostakovich 1906–1975) followed the textbook.  Having his own reasons for needing to write something to make people feel rather than think, on its first performance in 1937, the largo in his Symphony No 5 brought tears from the audience.  Pleased to have pleased the Kremlin, Shostakovich subsequently drew lachrymosity where he could, both the first movement of Symphony No 6 (1939) and three movements of the Eighth Quartet (1960) claw slowly at the emotions.  The motif is familiar from his earlier cello & violin concertos, other symphonies and a piano sonata.

Tangerine Dream, Zeit (1972).  Largo in four movements.

Zeit was one of the more starkly uncompromising pieces of the "dark ambient" music European experimentalists would explore for a couple of decades.  Four often languid movements, each a side of the two vinyl disks, it was underpinned by the then still novel Moog synthesizer and the jarring interruption of the strings of the Cologne Cello Quarte.  Whatever Zeit was, it proved to be either unique or the final evolution of the form, depending on one's view of earlier experiments with the possibilities offered by electronics.  Tangerine Dream certainly never pursued the concept but their work impressed film director Bill Friedkin (b 1935) who commissioned them to produce the soundtrack for Sorcerer (1977); at the time, the music was better received than the film although views have changed in the decades since and Sorcerer now enjoys a cult-following.  Friedkin later remarked that had he earlier known of the band, he'd have used them for The Exorcist (1973).  

Austere and gloomy, Zeit ("time" in German) was interesting experience if listened to in darkness, on headphones; acid helped.  Efforts by some to find a connection between this and the implications of inherited guilt on a generation of German youth again dabbling with amoral technologies were never convincing, Ziet just an hour and a quarter of electronica to be enjoyed or endured.  There were critics who found both but, as even the unconvinced seemed willing often to concede, in the milieu of the sometimes willfully obscure electronica of the era, the Tangerine Dream crew were fine exponents.

Lindsay Lohan story (2 September 2022) in the on-line edition of Die Zeit (The Time) a national weekly newspaper published in Hamburg, Germany.  A broadsheet (literally and editorially), it's a liberal publication and was first published in 1946, one of the earliest of the new newspapers which emerged in the immediate post-war years while Germany was still under allied occupation.  Hamburg was in the British Zone of Occupation until 1949 when it was merged with the US & French zones to constitute the Federal Republic of Germany (FRG, the old West Germany) which lasted until the 1990 unification with the German Democratic Republic (GDR, the old East Germany). 

Kebab

Kebab (pronounced kuh-bob or khe-bab)

(1) A dish consisting of small pieces of meat, tomatoes, onions, etc, threaded onto skewers and grilled, generally over char-coal (in this classic skewered form also called the shish kebab); the most common short form is ‘bab.

(2) In Australia, a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegetarian kebabs are also sold.

(3) To roast in the style of a kebab.

(4) In slang, to stab or skewer (something or someone).

(5) In Indian English use, roast meat.

(6) Colloquially and metonymically, as “the kebab”, a shop or restaurant which sells kebabs (although the technically incorrect genitive singular form kebaba is used in some places).

(7) In chemistry, the outward growing portions of a shish kebab structure.

(8) In slang as an offensive, ethnic slur, a person of Middle Eastern, or North African descent (applied by appearance and usually with the implication the subject is a Muslim and, in Germany, Turkish).

(9) In vulgar slang (mostly working-class UK), the vulva.

(10) In computing, as kebab menu (also called the three (vertical) dots menu), a convention in the design of graphical user interfaces which appears as an icon used to open a menu with additional options, often for configuration or utility purposes.  The icon most often appears at the top-right or (less commonly) the top-left of the screen or window.  It is distinguished form the “meatball menu” which uses three horizontal dots.

1665-1675: From the Arabic كَبَاب‎ (kabāb) (roast or fried meat), ultimately from the Proto-Semitic kabab- (to burn, to roast).  The word entered English under the Raj, via Urdu, Persian, Hindi and the Turkish kebap and the spellings found around the world include kabob kebob cabob kabaab, kabob, kebap, kabab & kebob.  The use of kebab as an ethnic slur directed at Muslims has, in the phrase “remove kebab” become a staple of the alt-right, great-replacement conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and other malcontents.  It became well-known in the mid-1990s because of the phonetic association with the Serbian Nationalist song of ethnic cleansing, Караџићу, води Србе своје (romanized as Karadžiću, vodi Srbe svoje which translates as “Karadžić, Lead Your Serbs)), a reference to the Bosnian Serb political leader Dr Radovan Karadžić (b 1945), once known (and even celebrated) for his poetry and now serving a life sentence for crimes against humanity.  Kebab is a noun (used usually in the plural) & verb, kebabbing & kebabbed are verbs; the noun plural is kebabs.

Noted kebabs

Some linguistically contradictory but delicious vegetarian shish kebabs.

The classic shish kebab was made by skewering (vaguely cuboid) chunks of grilled meat.  Associated with many Mediterranean cuisines, it’s essentially the same dish as the shashlik and khorovats, found in the Caucasus.  Traditionally, reflecting the geographical origin, shish kebab were made with lamb but have also long been made with various kinds of meat, poultry, or fish.  In Türkiye, shish kebabs are accompanied by vegetables but these grilled separately and sit on their own skewer (or sometimes on a side-plate).  In the barbaric West, the meat and vegetable chunks are usually on the same skewer and this sometimes includes pineapple, something said to appall the Turks.  Shish was from the Turkish şiş (skewer), from the Ottoman Turkish شیش‎ (şiş) (swollen) and related to the verb şişmek, cognate with Old Turkic šïš.

A plate of chapli kebabs.

The chapli kebab (چپلي کباب in Pashto) was a Pashtun-style minced-meat dish, made usually with ground beef, mutton, lamb or chicken, spiced and formed into the shape of a patty.  The origins of the dish lie in the old North-West Frontier of the Raj (the area around Peshawar, capital of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in modern-day northern Pakistan).  The cuisine, adapted with local variations and dietary rules, is popular throughout South Asia and West Asia and food critics note that the further it is from Peshawar, the more complex and elaborate are the alterations and aditions compared to the simple original.  Chapli Kababs can be served and eaten hot with naan or as a bun kebab.  Chapli is thought to be from the Pashto word chaprikh, chapdikh & chapleet (flat), thus the use for the kebab with a light, round and flattened texture.  A more amusing theory suggests the dish is named after the chappal (sandals), the implication being one’s meal looks as if it has been flattened by a man wearing a sandal.  It’s fine folk lore but humorless etymologists prefer to think of Chapli as a shortened version of chapleet.

Doner kebab in the Berlin style.

The doner kebab is a certain type of kebab, made with meat cooked on a vertical rotisserie which is almost always in public view.  Seasoned meat stacked in the shape of an inverted cone is turned slowly on the rotisserie, the heat coming from vertical cooking elements immediately adjacent.  To prepare a doner kebab, the operator uses a knife to slice thin shavings from the cooked, outer layer of the rotating meat.  This method of cooking, invented in the Ottoman Empire in the mid-1800s has been adopted in many countries.  In Australia, a kebab is a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegetarian kebabs are also sold.  The modern sandwich variant of döner kebab was first seen in the 1960s in shops in West Berlin operated by Turkish immigrants and quickly became popular to the point where it is now an accepted part of German cuisine and often ordered in the short form “doner”.  The noun, verb & adjective döner was from the Ottoman Turkish دونر‎ (döner) (to turn round; spinning; to rotate), from dönmek (to turn).

Mural of Lindsay Lohan in hijab (an al-amira) with Australian style kebab, Melbourne, Australia.

Virus

Virus (pronounced vahy-ruhs)

(1) An sub- or ultra-microscopic (20 to 300 nm diameter), metabolically inert, non-cellular infectious agent that replicates only within the cells of living hosts, mainly bacteria, plants, and animals: composed of an RNA or DNA core, a protein coat, and, in more complex types, a surrounding envelope.  Because viruses are unable to replicate without a host cell, they are not considered living organisms in conventional taxonomic systems (though often referred to as live (in the sense of active) when replicating and causing disease.

(2) A quantity of such infectious agents.

(3) In informal use, metonymically, A disease caused by such an infectious agent; a viral illness.

(4) Venom, as produced by a poisonous animal etc (extinct in this context). 

(5) Figuratively, any malicious or dangerous entity that spreads from one place or person to another; a corrupting influence on morals or the intellect. 

(6) In computing, a segment of often self-replicating code furtively planted in a computer program, either to damage a system or for financial gain by a variety of fraudulent techniques.

(7) In computing (loosely used), any form of malware.

Late 1300s: From the Middle English virus (poisonous substance (this meaning now extinct in this context)), from the Latin vīrus (slime; venom; poisonous liquid; sap of plants; slimy liquid; a potent juice), from rhotacism from the Proto-Italic weisos & wisós (fluidity, slime, poison) probably from the primitive Indo-European root ueis & wisós (fluidity, slime, poison (though it may originally have meant “to melt away, to flow”), used of foul or malodorous fluids, but in some languages limited to the specific sense of "poisonous fluid") which was the source also of the Sanskrit visam (venom, poison) & visah (poisonous), the Avestan vish- (poison), the Latin viscum (sticky substance, birdlime), the Greek ios (poison) & ixos (mistletoe, birdlime), the Old Church Slavonic višnja (cherry), the Old Irish fi (poison) and the Welsh gwy (poison).  It was related also to the Old English wāse (marsh).  Virus is a noun & a (rare) verb and viral is an adjective; the noun plural is viruses.

The original meaning, "poisonous substance”, emerged in the late fourteenth century and was an inheritance from the Latin virus (poison, sap of plants, slimy liquid, a potent juice) from the Proto-Italic weis-o-(s-) (poison), probably from the primitive Indo-European root ueis-, thought originally to mean "to melt away, to flow" and used of foul or malodorous fluids, but with specialization in some languages to mean "poisonous fluid".  It’s the source of the Sanskrit visam (venom, poison) & visah (poisonous), the Avestan vish- (poison), the Latin viscum (sticky substance; birdlime) the Greek ios (poison) & ixos (mistletoe, birdlime), the Old Church Slavonic višnja (cherry). The Old Irish fi (poison) and the Welsh gwy (poison).  The meaning "agent that causes infectious disease" emerged in the 1790s, the medical literature of the time describing their manifestation in  especially disgusting terms (the word pus most frequent) and one dictionary entry of 1770 contains the memorable: "a kind of watery stinking matter, which issues out of ulcers, being endued with eating and malignant qualities".  As early as 1728 (borrowing from the earlier sense of "poison"), it had been used in reference to venereal disease, the first recognizably modern scientific use dating from the 1880s.  The first known citation in the context of computing was by Gregory Benford (b 1941) who published The Scarred Man (1970) although it’s often credited to David Gerrold (b 1944), who used the word in this context in When HARLIE Was One (1972).

Before the internet: ARPANET network schematic 1973.

In computing, theoretical work on the self-replicating code (which is the core of a digital virus) was published as early as 1971 and what’s regarded as the first object to behave like a virus (though technically, it would now be called a worm) was released as a harmless amusement on ARPANET (Advanced Research Projects Agency Network) (ARPANET), the internet’s precursor network.  It was called “creeper, catch me if you can!" and, perhaps predictably, other nerds rose to the challenge and release the “reaper” their own worm which killed whatever creepers it found.  Creeper & reaper conducted their cat & mouse game on Digital Equipment Corporation's (DEC) PDP-10, predecessor to the famous PDP-11 mini-computer and at this point, viruses were genuinely harmless (if time wasting) activities conducted between consenting nerds in the privacy of their parochial networks.  However, it was the development of the personal computer (PC) from 1975 and especially the subsequent adoption by business of the IBM-PC-1 (1981) and its clones which created the population in which viruses could spread and while relatively harmless creations like Stoned (1987) tended to amuse because they did little more that display on the screen of an infected device the message "Your PC is now Stoned", there were many others which were quite destructive.  The first which came to wide public attention was probably Melissa (1999) which caused much economic loss and the discussion of which (by mostly male writers in the specialist press) excited some criticism from feminists who objected to headlines like "Melissa was really loose, and boy did she get around".    

The late John McAfee (1945–2021) who led an interesting life.

In medicine, the first antivirus was available in 1903, an equivalent (shrink-wrap) product for computers apparently first offered for sale in 1987 although there seems no agreement of which of three authors (Paul Mace, Andreas Lüning & the late John McAfee) reached the market first.  The adjective viral (of the nature of, or caused by, a virus) dates from 1944 as applied in medicine whereas the now equally familiar, post world-wide-web sense of stuff "become suddenly popular through internet sharing" is attested by 1999 although most seem convinced it must have been in use prior to this.

The rhinovirus (one of a group of viruses that includes those which cause many common colds) was first described in 1961, the construct being rhino- (from the Ancient Greek rhino (a combining form of rhis (nose) of uncertain origin) + virus.  The noun virology appeared in 1935 to describe the then novel branch of science and parvovirus (a very small virus), the construct being parvi- (small, little) + the connecting element -o- + virus was coined in 1965 to describe the decreasingly small objects becoming visible as optical technology improved.  The rotavirus (a wheel-shaped virus causing inflammation of the lining of the intestines), the construct being rota (wheel) + virus dates from 1974.

Diagram of a retrovirus.

The adjective virulent dates from circa 1400 in reference to wounds, ulcers etc (full of corrupt or poisonous matter), from the Latin virulentus (poisonous), from virus; the figurative sense of "violent, spiteful" attested from circa 1600; virulently the related form.  The mysterious reovirus was a noun coined in 1959 by Polish-American medical researcher Dr Albert Sabin (1906-1993), the “reo-“ and acronym for “respiratory enteric orphan”, to describe viruses considered orphans in the sense of not being connected to any of the diseases with which they were associated.  More technical still was the (1977) retrovirus, an evolution of the (1974) retravirus (from re(verse) tra(nscriptase) + connective -o- + virus), explained by it containing reverse transcriptase, an enzyme which uses RNA instead of DNA to encode genetic information, thus reversing the usual pattern.  While these things are usually the work of committees, there seems to be nothing in the public record to suggest why “retro-“ was preferred to “retra-“, the assumption being “retro-“ more explicitly indicated "backwards."

In 2014, while in the South Pacific, Lindsay Lohan contracted Chikungunya, an infection caused by the Chikungunya virus (CHIKV), spread by two types of mosquito.  On Twitter and Instagram, she recommended the use of bug spray.  The condition was first isolated in Tanzania in 1952, the word Chikungunya from the Kimakonde language which translates literally as "to become contorted" although the World Health Organization (WHO) lists the common symptoms as a persistent headache, swollen joints, muscle pain and a rash which typically appears first on the extremities.

Chikungunya virus (CHIKV) assembly and egress.

Not alive in the technical sense defined in biology, a virus is a biological agent which reproduces inside the cells of living hosts.  When infected by a virus, a host cell is forced quickly to produce thousands of identical copies of the original; unlike actual living things, viruses do not have cells that divide, new viruses being assembled in the infected host cell.  Unlike simpler infectious agents, viruses contain genes so they mutate and evolve and thousands are known to exist.  Viruses are tiny, much smaller than bacteria and it can require more than a million of them, side by side, to reach one inch (25 mm) and although a theory of viruses was constructed after French and Russian experiments in the 1880s, it wasn’t until the electron microscope became available in 1931 that the first images were captured.  Where there is life, there are viruses and it’s thought likely they have existed either since, or very shortly after, the first living cells evolved; it’s not impossible the first cellular forms would now, technically, be classified as viruses.  Viruses can be benign and bacteriophages are viruses that infect bacteria, used in eastern Europe since the nineteenth century to treat infection but almost ignored since the development of antibiotics.  With the growth in antibiotic resistance, there’s now renewed interest.  Viruses also perform a useful role in ecology, killing around a fifth of oceanic biomass, the increased respiration in the seas ultimately reducing the atmospheric carbon dioxide by some three gigatons per year.

During the initial 2019 outbreak in Wuhan of what is now called COVID-19, both virus and disease were mostly referred to as "coronavirus", "Wuhan coronavirus" or "Wuhan pneumonia".  There had been a long tradition of naming diseases after the geographical location where they were first reported (Hong Kong flu, Spanish flu etc) but this could be misleading.  The Spanish flu, associated with the pandemic of 1918-1920, was actually first detected elsewhere, either on the World War I battlefields of France or (more probably) a military camp in the United States but, because Spain was a neutral in the conflict, there was no military censorship to limit reporting so warnings about this especially virulent influenza were printed in the Spanish press.  From here, it was eventually picked up and publicized as “Spanish flu” although, doctors there, in an early example of contract tracing, were aware of vectors of transmission and insisted it was the “French flu” because this was where their back-tracing led.  This had no effect beyond Spain and it’s ever since been known as “Spanish flu” although the practice of using geographical references has now been abandoned, a linguistic sanitization which has extended to anything likely to cause offence, the recently topical Monkeypox now called Mpox which seems hardly imaginative.     

Representation of a coronavirus.

In January 2020, the World Health Organization’s (WHO) International Committee on Taxonomy of Viruses (ICTV) recommended the name 2019-nCoV & 2019-nCoV acute respiratory disease as interim names for virus and disease respectively (although “human coronavirus 2019”, “HCoV-19” & “hCoV-19” also exist in the record).  The committee’s recommendation conformed to the conventions adopted after it was decided in 2015, to avoid social stigma, to cease the use of geographical locations or identities associated with specific people(s) in disease-related names.  Although well understood by scientists, the WHO must have thought them a bit much for general use and in February 2020, issued SARS-CoV-2 & COVID-19 as the official nomenclature: CO=corona, VI=virus, D=disease & 19=2019 although for a while, confusingly, documents issued by the WHO sometimes referenced “COVID-19 virus” rather than the correct SARS-CoV-2 (severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2; the name adopted because of the close genetic relationship to the first SARS outbreak in 2003 (now retrospectively listed as SARS-Cov-1).

One of civilizations modern quests in the hunt for the “viral video” (video content posted to the internet which rapidly and at scale is passed from user to user in a pattern analogous to the spread of a virus).  A viral video can bring one (at least a transitory fifteen minutes) fame, cash and perhaps a spike in the traffic to one’s OnlyFans page but, depending on the content and context, what can also ensue is infamy, cancellation or incarceration so, as the “Justine Sacco (b 1985) incident” illustrates, caution should be a prelude to posting.  A minor industry has sprung up to advise all who aspire to be content providers and one popular theme is what makes a clip go viral.  On the basis of posted advice, it seems clear there’s no one set of parameters which need be used but there’s certainly a collections of characteristics which encourage sharing and while virality remains unpredictable, most clips which spike do share common traits although with some obvious exceptions, the phenomenon tends to be siloed, a clip which wildly goes vial among one market segment can be almost un-shared within another.  The markers likely to trigger a viral reaction have been categorized thus:

(1) Original content: This need not of necessity be something novel or in any way unique but both those qualities can be valuable, something genuinely new most likely to grab attention.

(2) Creativity: This can mean something unconventional in approach or the use of existing techniques with high production values.

(3) Emotional Resonance:  Known also as “emotional manipulation”, content which can evoke feelings of joy, awe surprise, sadness, rage, disgust etc are more likely to be shared.

(4) Brevity: Most viral tend to be videos are short (less than two minutes is typical) and to some extent this is technologically deterministic, so much viral media coming from sites which curate such material and this has encouraged a ecosystem of what are now called “viral sites” (BuzzFeed, Upworthy, Distractify, LittleThings, Thought Catalog, UPROXX, Vox, Daily Dot, Ranker, Words et al).  Students of cause & effect can ponder the interplay between the emergence of these platforms and the alleged shortening of the planet’s collective attention span.

(5) The hook: Two minutes is a long time in the context of scrolling and while it’s not impossible for a clip where the “best big” comes at the end to go viral, it is less likely because not enough viewers will have persisted for it to gain critical mass.  Ideally, interest to the point of being committed to watch to the end should be captured in the first few seconds.  If the material is in the form of music, it should appeal (in a TikTok sort of way) with the sort of formula the pop music generators perfected in decades past.

(6) Entertaining: Clips go viral for all sorts of reasons but nothing seems to work better that something which makes people laugh; it’s more popular even than outrage, the internet’s other way of life.

(7) Relatability: Relatability (that with which people can identify) is a concept which can be vertical (something with great appeal to certain section of the population) or horizontal (something with general appeal to many sections of the population).  Content with a universal appeal (cross-cultural relevance) should in theory produce the greatest numbers but something aimed specifically at one market can produce greater tangible results (revenue).

(8) A twist: The ultimate viral video content is probably something with a hook at the start which grabs the attention, maintains a commitment to watching and then concludes with a dramatic, unexpected or funny ending.

(9) Ease of sharing: When file formats were not (more or less) standardized and cross-platform compatibility couldn’t be assumed, this was something to consider but now most content is optimized for the majors (TikTok, Instagram, YouTube et al), the process close to effortless.

(10) A Call-to-Action: This means something which encourages sharing and that can be explicit (“please share”) or a subliminal message which induces in viewers either a desire to share or a feeling they are somehow obliged to share.  Those which are controversial (the more polarizing the better) and which enable users to engage in “virtue signalling” (sharing a clip as a display of moral superiority) should produce more reaction.

(11) Relevance: If it’s funny enough nothing else really matters but something tied to the zeitgeist tends most quickly to gain traction.  These can be tied to trending hashtags or challenges on social media and are the most obvious form of encouraging interaction without demanding any real commitment.

(12) Celebrity association.  This need not be an endorsement (there evidence there’s now much cynicism about this) but if a celebrity shares something, it should be an accelerant in the process.

A classic viral clip: Man in Finance mixed by DJs Billen Ted & David Guetta, written and sung by Megan Boni (Girl on Couch).

I'm looking for a man in finance
Trust fund
Six-five (ie 6 foot, five inches tall)
Blue eyes
That's all I want

The lyrics to the track Man in Finance (sometimes as Looking for a Man in Finance) were written by Megan Boni (b 1997 and now better known as @girl_on_couch).  In April 2024 Ms Boni uploaded the clip (as a cappella piece) to TikTok and she says it was a parody of the unrealistic expectations of men held by young single women such as herself.  Attached to the original (a viral-friendly 19 seconds in duration) upload, Ms Boni requested DJs in her audience to “…make this into an actual song plz just for funzies.”  The DJs responded, the edited clip went viral and Ms Boni quit her “9 to 5” to enter the music industry.

The admirable Megan Boni, on a couch.

Catchy though it was, Ms Boni did take a risk because on the internet are those waiting to be offended (or disrespected, marginalized etc) and in an interview with The BBC she did note one comment on her post was that wanting a man with “blue eyes” meant she must be “racist” but there was little support for that and she escaped cancellation.  Still, the risks were clearly there because each line was laden with offence for anyone anxious to be outraged:

I'm looking for a man in finance (critique: supports a system which is exploitative and exists alienate people from the fruits of their labor).

Trust fund (critique: materialist).

Six-five (critique: heightist and thus exclusionary).

Blue eyes (critique: racist and thus exclusionary)

That's all I want

Really, people should just enjoy the beat.  As a parody it works well, a young spinster lamenting her status as a singleton by restricting the acceptable catchment of who might seek courtship to (1) “a man” (thereby excluding half the population), (2) employed in the “finance” industry (a tiny fraction of the male population), (3) the beneficiary of a “trust fund” (a tiny fraction of men working in the finance industry) (4) “six-five” tall (a tiny fraction of men working in the finance industry who are the beneficiaries of a trust fund) and (5) has “blue eyes” (an unknown but small percentage of 6’ 5" (1.95 m) tall men who are the beneficiaries of a trust fund and employed in the finance industry).  That math is of course what makes the last line (That’s all I want) so funny.  Ms Boni should maintain her high standards because she deserves to find the man of her dreams.

Epicaricacy

Epicaricacy (pronounced epp-e-kar-a-kh-see)

Rejoicing at or deriving pleasure from the misfortunes of others (rare & probably extinct).

1700s: From the Ancient Greek ἐπιχαιρεκακία (epikhairekakía) (joy upon evil).  Epichairekakia appears first in the work of Aristotle, the construct being ἐπί (epi-) (upon) + χαρά (chara) (joy) + κακόν (kakon) (evil).  Epicaricacy has appeared in dictionaries of English since the early eighteenth century but there’s is no indication there was anything actual use of the word until the early twenty-first when there appeared a number of websites devoted to "interesting”, “obscure” or “rare” words.  Even then, use seems to have been limited to documenting that very rarity and obscurity.

In English, the German compound Schadenfreude (joy in the misfortune of others) has come to be preferred, used commonly since the late twentieth century although it was mentioned in English documents in 1852 and 1867 and first used in running text in 1895.  The construct of Schadenfreude, first attested in German in the 1740s, is Schaden (damage, misfortune) + Freude (joy).  The definition of Schadenfreude is usually extended to include “malicious enjoyment” but, as used in English, this isn’t always accurate and while “gloat” is close to Schadenfreude, it differs in that gloating need not be malicious and can be practiced and understood as something friendly or affectionate.  While common nouns normally are not capitalized in English, Schadenfreude sometimes is, following the German convention and this may be better because, unlike an assimilated word like etcetera, Schadenfreude remains still foreign.

Epicaricacy is usually delicious but can be enjoyed even more if the associated scuttlebutt, rumors, gossip (it's such an intoxicating thing tautology is inevitable), stories and low skulduggery are recorded so endlessly the pleasure can be enjoyed with no detail forgotten.  A Burn Book is recommended.

Although Schadenfreude is now not uncommon in English, the emotion it describes is undoubtedly more frequently felt than expressed.  Predictably perhaps, the antonym "confelicity", the construct being the Latin con- (from cum (with)) + the Latin felicitas (happiness), although in English since the nineteenth century, is noted by most dictionaries as rare; it seems we relish the misery of others more than their happiness.  Still, English at least has confleicity, German apparently offering no antonym for Schadenfreude, confirming everyone's worst prejudices about the Prussians.  Epicaricacy certainly had its chance, appearing in two of Nathan Bailey’s Lexicons, the Universal Etymological English Dictionary (1737) and the Dictionarium Britannicum, (1751) which stimulated apparently no interest in the word and nor did Joseph Shipley’s Dictionary of Early English or Peter Novobatzky & Ammon Shea’s marvelous Depraved and Insulting English, both from 1955, encourage a spike.  Those entries were however sufficient for epicaricacy to deserve a place in Mrs Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and Preposterous Words (1974) yet it remained neglected while Schadenfreude gained critical mass which means the German import is better than the English construct.  That’s how English works and is part of its charm; it’s a slut of a language which takes in whatever best suits the needs of the moment.

Candor

Candor (pronounced kan-der)

(1) The state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression; candidness.

(2) Freedom from bias; fairness; impartiality; the quality of the disinterested comment.

(3) Kindliness (obsolete except in the most abstract (“cruel to be kind”) sense).

(4) Purity (obsolete).

(5) Whiteness, brilliance; purity of shade (obsolete)

1350-1400: From the Middle English, from the French candour, from the Late Latin candor (purity, openness), from the Classical Latin candidus & candidum (whiteness) from candēre (to shine, to be white), from the primitive Indo-European root kand- (to shine).  A legacy of the Classical Latin candidus & candidum survives in English as “candidate”.  In the Rome of Antiquity, a tradition arose among politicians to wear the most immaculately white toga that could be found, so that they might leave the best impression.  Originally, the Latin candidatus meant literally “a person dressed all in white” but in time it came to mean “one seeking office by election”.  There’s a link also with incandescent (white and glowing) and modern meaning of candid come from a figurative use of “pure white” in the sense of “frank, honest and unadorned”.  The other derivation in English from candēre is candle, and that’s not related to candles being white (which originally they rarely were) but the brightness of the light they offered when lit.  Candle dates probably from the eighth or ninth centuries and was from the Middle English candel, from the Old English candel (candle), from the Latin candēla (candle), from the verb candeō (be white, bright, shining; I shine).

Depending on context, the synonyms for candor can include frankness, honesty, sincerity, equity, fairness & parrhesia while the antonyms typically used include deception, fraud, lie, untruth (or, in the case of crooked Hillary Clinton “I may have misspoken”).  In English, the alternative (mostly UK although also used in parts of the Commonwealth, notably Canada (which is presumed to be the influence from the French-speaking population which uses the same spelling)) spelling is candour white the spelling in Italian & French is candour and in Portuguese, candor.  Candor is a noun and candid is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is candors.

The original meaning in English (whiteness) dating from circa 1500, didn’t long survive the shift in meaning (circa 1600) to "openness of mind, impartiality, frankness”, something which occurred under the influence of French, the borrowing essentially from the French candied.  The familiar (and probably more frequently used) related forms are the adjectives candid and the adverb candidly; the noun candidness is rare.  Less common are the derived forms rarely used beyond the literarure of political science and literary criticism, the adjectives pseudocandid & quasi-candid and the adverb pseudocandidly.  The first use in photography was noted in 1929 and in television in the 1960s, both suggesting something spontaneous or un-staged material and while the meaning is still understood, in the age of TikTok and “reality” television, most now treat the use with some scepticism.  In politics, the quality of candidness is much prized by voters and there is evidence to suggest politicians can benefit from telling the truth although most seem still to take a more cautionary approach and assume that if they’re truthful, people will be so appalled as to not vote for them.  Other, more sophisticated, types understand candor can be to their advantage and have learned to deploy it (occasionally) or (more typically) have perfected faking it.  Both can work.     

Although clinicians have constructed fine diagnostics distinctions between them, among lay-people the terms “compulsive lying”, “pathological lying”, “mythomania” and “habitual lying” are all used to refer to those who tell falsehoods out of desire, habit or venality and sometimes for no apparent reason.  The condition is of course about as old as the first human interactions but was first described in the medical literature in 1891 by German psychiatrist Anton Delbrück (1862-1944) who wrote the case studies of five of his most extravagantly untruthful patients, labelling the behavior pseudologia phantastica (literally something like “a fantastic study of lying” and pseudologia fantastica in US English).  For clinicians, the distinction essentially is that a pathological liar is one who lies simply to get what they want and with little or no self-awareness while a compulsive liar tells untruths simply out of habit, even when the lie serves no purpose and confers no advantage.

There’s no consensus among clinicians about whether compulsive lying should be listed as a stand-alone diagnosis and even in the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR (2022)) it’s not recognized it as a separate mental health condition although compulsive lying does appear as a component and symptom of several conditions including bipolar disorder (the old manic-depression), attention deficit hyperactivity (ADHD), impulse control disorder, substance dependency disorder, borderline personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder.  The DSM notes also that it’s rare for compulsive lying to indicate psychosis and that patients who lie compulsively often have a high degree of self-awareness and are thus not distanced from reality.

Lies, lies and damn lies.  Crooked Hillary Clinton

Whether from fear of retribution, being cancelled or actual Arkancide, it seems no clinician has ever published their assessment of whether crooked Hillary Clinton should be thought a pathological or compulsive liar.  Of course, given the wealth of the material one would need to review, it may be just too big a job, there being only so many hours in a day.  There may anyway be some overlap and however her casual relationship with truth might be diagnosed, the lying is certainly habitual though whether candid or not, crooked Hillary occasionally is caught telling the truth: 

“If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle”:  Candid.  It didn’t work but, lacking a strategic plan, this was her campaign team’s best attempt to develop an effective media-management tactic.  The pantsuits actually attracted more interest but even though intended as a feminist statement (and they certainly weren’t successful as a fashion statement), their most noted impact was as a gift to the cartoonists and meme-makers who quickly latched onto the orange pantsuit as an analogue for prison jumpsuits.  

“Probably my worst quality is that I get very passionate about what I think is right”.  Not candid.  Hillary Clinton has no sense of right and wrong, just rat-cunning in working out what’s in her personal interest.  Rare modesty though, some of her qualities are much worse.

Getting to the truth: Crooked Hillary Clinton lands in Bosnia, 1996. 

“I remember landing under sniper fire”:  Not candid.  This was just a lie. When landing at a Bosnian airport in 1996 (during one of the civil wars the Balkan states have from time-to-time), crooked Hillary was presented with a bunch of flowers by a little girl.  Later, when the lie was exposed, she couldn’t be candid even in her confession.  Refusing to admit she lied, she said she “misspoke”, adding “On a couple of occasions in the last weeks, I just said some things that I knew not to be the case."  That actually meant “I lied”.

“Aww don't feel noways tired. I've come too faarrr from where I started frum”:  Not candid, this was crooked Hillary’s fake Southern drawl, adopted while speaking at a church, south of the Mason-Dixon line.  Apparently thinking she could still get away with the way things were done in 1949, she fooled nobody, presumably, not even herself.

“We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good”:  Candid.  This is a glimpse of crooked Hillary’s elitist, dictatorial, fascist character and whatever she planned to take away from others, she would never have to sacrifice a thing.

“God bless the America we are trying to create”:  Probably not candid; there is scant evidence crooked Hillary’s alleged Christianity is sincere and is about as convincing as Donald Trump's (b 1946; US president 2017-2021; president elect 2024) new-found piety.  She also said “I have to confess that it's crossed my mind that you could not be a Republican and a Christian” and that was both candid and a reasonable critique of much of the modern Republican Party, the beliefs of some members distant from what the New Testament reveals about the thoughts of Christ.

Lips moving: Some possibility of untruthfulness.

“I have said that I'm not running and I'm having a great time being pres, …being a first-term senator”:  Not candid.  This came at a time when crooked Hillary was still telling her New York constituents she was committed only to representing them.  As deluded as she feels entitled, she still thinks the Democratic nomination in 2024 might be possible if the DNC (Democratic National Committee) works out (or, more to the point, admits) Joe Biden (b 1942; US president 2021-2025) is senile and even she might be a better candidate.

“Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobody's going to believe them”: Candid, this is what she really thinks.  Crooked Hillary has utter contempt for anyone except the rich people her husband’s career has allowed her to mix with.  In fairness, this attitude is one of the characteristics of second-wave feminism and beyond, the focus always on tiny elites from various fashionable group identities, the women who serve their coffee and empty their trash bins barely acknowledged.  

“If I didn't kick his ass every day, he wouldn't be worth anything”:  A candid comment from crooked Hillary about her husband and probably true; he’d never have made it without her and vice-versa.

“My mother named me after Sir Edmund Hillary (1919-2008)”.  The claim was based on her finding his climbing of Mount Everest so inspiring, thus explaining the double-l spelling of her name.   However, the first successful ascent of Everest did not take place until half a decade after her birth.  The story was later “clarified” when a Clinton spokeswoman said she was not named after the famous mountaineer but the account “...was a sweet family story her mother shared to inspire greatness in her daughter, to great results I might add.”  Despite this, it remains unclear if crooked Hillary lied about her own name or was accusing her mother of lying.  Still, given everything else, “…at this point, what difference does it make?”

“We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word.”  Candid and to be fair, this one is linguistically defensible, the phrase “four-letter-word” having a meaning beyond the literal.

Candid admissions: Lindsay Lohan as spokesperson for lawyer.com, 2018.