Soiree (pronounced swah-rey)
(1) An evening party or social gathering.
(2) Used loosely, a party or social gathering held at any
time.
1793: from the French soirée (evening activity), the
construct being the tenth century Old French soir (evening; night (from the Latin adverb sērō (late; at a late hour) which originally was an ablative of sērus) from sērum (a late time), from sērus (late), from the primitive Indo-European se-ro- (a suffixed form of the root se- (long, late) and the source also of the Sanskrit sayam (in the evening), the Lithuanian sietuva (deep place in a river), the Old
English sið (after), the German seit (since),
the Gothic seiþus (late), the Middle
Irish sith and the Middle Breton hir (long)) + -ée (from the Latin –āta
(feminine of –ātus) (the –ate suffix
in English). In French,
the feminine suffix –ée was joined to
nouns to make nouns expressing the quantity contained in the original noun and
thus also relations of times (journée,
matinée, année et al) or objects produced. There was also the nineteenth century swarry, a coining for jocular effect representing
the English pronunciation. The
suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words
ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate &
senate). Those that came to English via
French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or
later to indicate the long vowel. It can
also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of
first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta,
& -ātum (such as desolate,
moderate & separate). Again, often
they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after
circa 1400; a doublet of –ee. In German the
spelling is Soirée (plural
Soiréen), the synonym being Abendgesellschaft (party held in the
evening). In English, the French soirée is now listed by most sources as an alternative spelling (a
la café & cafe). Soiree is a noun;
the noun plural is plural soirees.
In
English, strictly speaking, because of the origin in French (soir (evening) familiar in the greeting bon soir (good evening, a time specific
way of saying “hello”)), a soiree is a social gathering held in the evening but
it has long been used loosely and there have been many soirees held early in
the day. It can be debated whether there’s
now an additional meaning (social gathering) or the real meaning is just being
ignored but the word is certainly something of a middle-class favourite and it’s
not unknown to receive an invitation to an “evening soiree” or “night time soiree”
which may be tautological but the meaning shift is probably here to say. The word is also used with modifiers to make
the nature of an event clear (musical soiree; boho soiree, élite soiree;
jubilee soiree; birthday soiree etc).
The successful soiree
Some
etiquette guides devote entire chapters to the tricks and techniques which make
a soiree a success, focusing on food, settings, surroundings and the guest list
(who sits next to whom something of an art) and the most structured and
demanding event is probably that classic of evening entertaining: the dinner
party. The catering arrangements
obviously are critical but the consideration of other matters is also a minor
linguistic feast:
It’s
best to avoid inviting the malesuete (“accustomed to poor habits”, an archaic
adjective from the Latin malesuētus,
the construct being male (badly; poorly) + suētus
(past participle of suēscere (to
become accustomed; to be used to)) because they tend to be “unaccustomed to
good behaviour” and thus won’t fit in.
That doesn’t mean they’re ostracized by all because in their circles (composed
of other other malesuete types) there are also soirees for them to enjoy. Should there be some sort of filing error and
a malesuete guest is at the table, all one can hope is that there’s only one of
them because in pairs they’ll almost always constult (“to act stupidly together”,
a verb from the Latin constult, the
construct being con- (together) + stultus
(foolish; fool)); they will encourage each other. However, even the usually well-mannered can
become malesuetesque when peloothered (“drunk, thoroughly intoxicated”, an
adjective coined by James Joyce (1882–1941), possibly from Hiberno-English
as a humorous dialectal corruption of blootered (“drunk”, an informal term in Scots
English also meaning or polluted) so if possible research the effect of strong
drink on potential invitees. A caution
like “drinks like a fish” need not of
necessity mean someone must be chucked because there are amiable and amusing
drunks but they may only make it to the reserve (last resort) list.
Among the most desirable of
those for a dinner party are deipnosophists (“those noted for their sparkling
dinner-table conversation”, a noun from the Ancient Greek Δειπνοσοφισταί (Deipnosophistaí), the title of a
literary work in fifteen volumes (translated usually as something like
“philosophers at their dinner table”) by the third century scholar Athenaeus of
Naucratis, describing learned discussions at a banquet, the construct being
δειπνο- (deipno-) (meal) + σοφιστής (sophistḗs).
The plural of sophistḗs was sophistaí
and the sense used by Athenaeus was one of “wise men knowledgeable in matters
of art & science”. A deipnosophist
will never raise matters nefandous (“too odious to be spoken of”, an adjective
from Latin nefandus, the construct
being from ne- (in the sense of “not”) + fandus,
gerundive of fārī (to speak) ao while
they may think the unthinkable they’ll never speak the unspeakable. If there is a guest who is particularly
sensitive about some topic which usually is innocuous, it’s acceptable (and
often advisable) quietly to advise to the others the matter is tacenda
(“a thing not to be mentioned; a subject to be passed over in silence”, a noun
from the Latin tacenda, future
passive participle of taceo (to be
silent, say nothing, to hold one's tongue).
Because
of the physical layout of a dinner party (gathered together closely around a
table) it’s not possible for a shy guest actually to latibulate (“to retreat and hide
oneself in a corner”, a verb from the Latin, the construct being latibulum (hiding place) + -ate (the verb-forming suffix), from lateō (to lie hidden) + -bulum
(the nominal suffix denoting instrument)) but there can be some (even the
usually talkative) who for whatever reason become on the night taciturn
(“tendency habitually to be silent”, a noun ultimately from the fifteenth
century French taciturne, from the
Latin taciturnus (not talkative;
noiseless, quiet, maintaining silence), from tacitus (silent) & tacēre
(to be silent). Tempting though it is to
ply them with alcohol (which can “loosen the tongue”), that’s a tactic not
without risk and it’s recommended that if possible, a pretext is found to
change the seating plan, re-allocating them a spot next to someone they might
find more convivial. At a small table,
this will likely have no effect. If on a
second occasion a guest’s taciturnity is noted as truly as habitual, it may be
they are deipnophobic
(one who suffers the social anxiety deipnophobia (fear of eating in public));
don’t invite them again.
Advesperate: A set table, ready for a soiree. The construct of advesperate (to draw towards evening) was the Latin ad- (to) + vesper. (evening; the evening meal) from the Proto-Italic wesperos, from the primitive Indo-European wek-w-speros, the cognates including the Ancient Greek ἕσπερος (hésperos), the Old Church Slavonic вєчєръ (večerŭ) and the Old Armenian գիշեր (gišer). In the liturgical orders of Christianity (and always in the plural "vespers"), it's the sixth of the seven canonical hours (an evening prayer service).
There
are also those who may be good conversationalists but exhibit some bad habits
which are not good to display at dinner parties (although many are close to
obligatory at the beer & bourbon soaked malesuete soirees). They may obganiate (“to cause irritation by reiteration” (ie
to annoy by repeating over and over and over and over…”, a verb from the Italian
ostinato (obstinate, persistent), a
variant of which is the act of epizeuxis (“the repetition of a word with
vehemence and emphasis”, a noun from the Modern Latin epizeuxis, from the Ancient Greek ἐπίζευξις (epízeuxis) (a fastening upon), from ἐπιζευγνύναι (epizeugnúnai), the construct being ἐπί (epí)
(upon) + ζευγνύναι (zeugnúnai) (to
yoke). As a rhetorical technique, an
epizeuxis can be an effective way to make a point but at a dinner party it
should never be accompanied by a dactylodeiktous gesture (“pointed at with a finger”,
an adjective from the Ancient Greek, the construct being δάκτυλος (dáktylos)
(finger) + δεικτός (deiktós), from the verb δείκνυμι (deíknumi) (to show; to
point out) + -ous (the suffix indicating an adjective or descriptive quality). When noticing such things, a host should
adopt the demeanour of a discountenancer (“one who discourages with cold
looks to convey disapproval”, a noun from the French décontenancer, from the Middle French descontenancer).
Also tiresome at such a soiree those who beyelp (loudly to talk of, boast of, glory in”, a verb from the Middle English beyelpen, from the Old English beġielpan (to boast) and tend to speak in rodomontades (vainglorious boasting or bragging; pretentious, bluster”, a noun from the Middle French rodomontade, the construct being the Italian Rodomonte (name of the boastful Saracen king of Algiers in two Italian Renaissance epic poems + the Middle French –ade (the suffix used to form nouns denoting action, or a person performing said action), from the Occitan -ada, from the Latin -ata. In dialectal Italian the name means literally “one who rolls (away) the mountain” (clipped also to “roll-mountain”). Fortunately, such types are usually elozable (“readily influenced by flattery”, an archaic adjective coined in the sixteenth century the construct obscure but believed to be elo- (from the Latin eloqui (to speak out) + -zable (a variant of the suffix –able (denoting capability or possibility) with the inserted “z” presumably a phonetic convenience. To deal with such guests, one may need to heterophemize (“to say something different from what you mean to say”, a verb from the Ancient Greek, the construct being hetero-, from the ἕτερος (heteros) (other; different) +-phem-, from φημί (phēmi) (to speak; to say) + -ize (a suffix conveying the notion of “to make; to do” or “to perform the act of”) which is OK because it’s been done before and at some dinner parties in polite society conversations are conducted with little else. One will though need eventually to be more direct with the residentarian (“a person who is given to remaining at table”, a modern English noun, the construct being resident +arian (the suffix a back-formation from various words ending in “arian”, some directly derived from Classical or Medieval Latin words ending in -arius by adding “-an” to the stem, other indirectly via Old French words ending in “arien(ne)” or “erien(ne)” or from English words ending in “ary” to which “-an” was suffixed. It was used to create nouns in the sense of (1) a believer in something, (2) an advocate of something or (3) a native or inhabitant of somewhere. The next day, when reviewing yesterneve (“yesterday evening”, a noun, the construct being yester(day) + -n- + eve(ning), decide which guest must be chucked (never again to be invited) and which adorned the table and thus to be added to the xenium list (“a gift given to a guest”, a noun from the Latin xenium (a gift given to guests or foreign ambassadors, often of food, in Ancient Greece or Rome), from the Ancient Greek ξένιον (xénion) from the Ionic.
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