Banister, Baluster & Balustrade

Banister (pronounced ban-uh-ster)

(1) The handrail on the side of a staircase.

(2) One of the vertical supports of a handrail; a baluster (often in the plural as banisters).

(3) The balustrade of a staircase (usually in the plural as banisters).

(4) To construct a banister.

(5) To act as a banister (only in the literal sense).

1660–1670: Of uncertain origin but thought most likely by dissimilation from the earlier ballester & the seventeenth century barrester, both corruptions of baluster.  As late a 1848 it was listed as “a vulgar term” but by the early twentieth century was an accepted part of the language of architecture and in the building trades. The surname Bannister was unrelated to the use in architecture and entered English from the Anglo-Norman Bannister, from the Old French banastre (basket); it was thus occupational and described a “basket-maker”.  Like many surnames, it also became a locality name.  The verb use in the sense of “to construct a banister” is a metal worker’s or carpenter’s term to describe “fabricating a banister” while the idea of “to act as a banister” is an allusion to some use of static uprights to support something.  There’s is no evidence it has been used figuratively in the way “pillar” or “buttress” are used metaphorically.  Minnie Bannister (voiced by Spike Milligan (1918–2002) & Henry Crun (voiced by Peter Sellers (1925–1980)) were two elderly characters in the BBC’s radio comedy series The Goon Show (1951-1960) which was, by the standards of the time, somewhat anarchic and a precursor to later ventures into surrealist television like Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969-1974).  The gags involving Henry Crun & “Modern Min” Bannister usually involved placing the two into roles wholly improbably for such a decrepit pair.  The spelling bannister (influenced presumably by the surname Bannister) is listed by most dictionaries as an alternative but it seems rare.  Banister is a noun & verb and banistering & banistered are verbs; the noun plural is banisters.

Baluster (pronounced bal-uh-ster)

(1) In architecture, any of a number of closely spaced uprights supporting a railing.

(2) Any of various symmetrical supports, as furniture legs or spindles, tending to swell toward the bottom or top (rare in US use).

1595–1605: From the French baluster, from the Middle French balustre, from the Italian balaustro (pillar shaped like the calyx of the pomegranate flower), from balausta (wild pomegranate flower), ultimately from the Latin balaustium, from the Ancient Greek βαλαύστιον (balaústion), probably from a Semitic language.  Iin Aramaic (the language of Christ), a balatz was “a wild pomegranate flower” and in Classical Syriac ܒܠܳܨܳܐ (blāṣā) was “a pomegranate shoot”.  In Roman architecture, uprights with lyre-like double curves (resembling the swelling form of the half-opened pomegranate flower) were most fashionable.  The spellings ballister & balluster are both (obsolete) while balustre is listed as an alternative (though not used in the US).  Baluster is a noun and balustered & balusterlike are adjectives; the noun plural is balusters.

Balustrade (pronounced bal-uh-streyd)

A railing with supporting balusters.

1635-1645: An unadapted borrowing from the French balustrade, from the Middle French balustre, from the Italian balaustro (pillar shaped like the calyx of the pomegranate flower), from balausta (wild pomegranate flower).  Balustrade is a noun and balustraded & balustrading are verbs; the noun plural is plural balustrades.

Of staircases and such

Lindsay Lohan in glomesh, on staircase.

The terms “banister”, “baluster” & “balustrade” are all used in the language of architecture and design, usually in the context of staircases or railing systems but all refer to different elements.  Banister is now used more loosely than in earlier times.  Mostly, banister refers to the handrail of a staircase, the part one is supposed to hold to stabilize one’s self when ascending or descending (or slide down if one is a child or drunken under-graduate) but it’s also sometimes use of the uprights attached to the rail.  Banister and “handrail” can thus be interchangeable but the former is almost universal in the US while in other parts of the English-speaking world (even Canada, usually a part of the US sphere of linguistic influence), handrail has become common.  Interestingly, one piece of global linguistic standardization seems to be the WH&S (workplace health & safety) signage: It’s always something like “use the handrail when using stairs”, never “use the banister”.

Joe Biden (b 1942; US president since 2021) tripping up (for the second time that assent) while climbing the stairs of Air Force One (despite following the WH&S warning and gripping the handrail).  Since the motor manifestations of his descent into senility have become more obvious, Mr Biden is no longer allowed to use the “big stairs” and is directed to the “baby stairs” in the plane’s nose.  Whether the small, angled brackets (some might call them flanges) which affix the handrail to the structure can be called balusters is debatable but that’s certainly their function.

President Biden should have taken one step at a time.

“Baluster” is the correct technical term for the uprights (the vertical posts or spindles supporting the handrail (a few of which are actually decorative with no structural function).  Whether decorative or structural, balusters are almost always arrayed in a series, either a cluster of identical units or with some variations as an architectural flourish.  In style, balusters can simple or ornate and constructed from just about any materials including wood, metal, stone or composites.  In some cases, balusters and banisters (handrails) will be of the same material and in others they will differ.  Some materials have fallen from favor because of the maintenance factor.  Brass was once widely used but keeping it polished proved a labor intensive business and in the hotels which once dripped with the stuff, there's now much more aluminium and stainless steel visible.

She would blame the (missing) balustrades because there is always someone or something to blame: Crooked Hillary Clinton, slipping (twice) in India, March 2018.

Although often much admired for their intricacy, banisters, balustrades and such are an important safety feature of staircases.  In March 2018, while visiting (for some reason) the Jahaj Maha (Ship Palace) in Mandu, crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013), despite holding the arm of an aide, slipped while descending stone stairs.  Another aide quickly took the other arm to stabilize things and the descent resumed but she slipped again, illustrating the importance of handrails which weren’t so much of a thing in the sixteenth century when the palace was built.  Crooked Hillary might be used (at least when not slipping) as an example of the way Spaniards explain the meaning of the word “enigma”: “Were one to meet her on the stairs, one couldn’t be sure if she was going up, or coming down”.

Components of a staircase.

To an architect, a “balustrade” is the name for the whole apparatus (the handrail (banister) and the balusters assembled), added to which might be as base-rail below (although some balusters are mounted directly to the floor or the tread of the stairs.  So, the balustrade is the collective term for the whole railing system on a staircase, balcony, terrace, walkway, or other structure but a convention (by no means universal) seems to have evolved to use balustrade to describe structures other than those used on staircases (unless they’re outdoors).  A railing separating pedestrians from road traffic or a river would certainly be a balustrade and that might also be the term of choice for the apparatus on the staircase leading from the river.  Once inside however, it’s all banisters and handrails.

A glass "balustrade" is really a type of wall with the top-edge serving as a handrail.

"Glass balustrades" are a favorite of interior decorators and can be applied to both indoor and outdoor use.  In domestic use, there's sometimes some resistance because many people, understandably, associate glass with fragility but the glass used is a specialized tempered safety glass, rated at some 400% the strength of that typically used in windows.  An additional benefit is that other than cleaning, glass is an essentially zero-maintenance material and not susceptible to rot, rust or other forms of corrosion.  Depending on the desired effect, a hybrid approach can also be used in which there's a traditional banister (handrail) and base-rail with a small number of uprights (balusters), a glass panel taking the place of the rest.  This is essentially using the components as a window frame. 

Sauce

Sauce (pronounced saws)

(1) Any preparation, now presented almost always as a liquid or semi-liquid, added in a variety of way to food to enhance (sometimes disguise) the taste or accentuate the texture.

(2) Stewed fruit, often puréed and served as an accompaniment to meat, dessert, or other food (always with a modifier: apple sauce, cranberry sauce et al).

(3) Figuratively, to make poignant; to give zest, flavor or interest to; to set off; to vary and render attractive.

(4) In informal use, (usually as saucy or sauciness), impertinence; impudence, defiant cheekiness etc.

(5) In the slang of bodybuilding, anabolic steroids or compounds with similar effects.

(6) In the slang of drug users, a variety of substances, usually those taken in liquid form.

(7) In slang (usually as “the sauce” or “on the sauce”) alcoholic drink.

(8) In slang as “the sauce” or “secret sauce”, some additive or attribute which imparts to someone or something a particular vitality or capability.

(9) In slang, to send or hand over (now rare).

(10) In the slang of the internet, an alternative form of source, often used when requesting the source of an image or other posted material (a use mysterious to those over a certain age).

(11) In art, a soft crayon for use in stump drawing or in shading with the stump.

(12) Garden vegetables eaten with meat (archaic and effectively extinct although examples have been cited in “retro” menus).

(13) To dress or prepare with sauce (historically also as “to season”.

(14) To make a sauce of (fruits, vegetables etc).

(15) To give piquance or zest to something (not necessarily something edible); To cause to relish anything, as if with a sauce; to tickle or gratify, as the palate; to please; to stimulate.

(16) To make something more agreeable or seem less harsh (often as “sauced up” or “sauce it up”).

1300–1350: From the Middle English, from the Middle French, from the Old French sauce, sausse & sause, from the Vulgar Latin salsa (things salted, salt food), noun use of feminine of the Latin salsus (salted), the past participle of sallere (to sprinkle with salt), from sāl (genitive salis), from the primitive Indo-European root sal-(salt).  The spelling sawce is obsolete.  Sauce is a noun & verb, sauced & saucing are verbs and oversauced & sauceless are adjectives; the noun plural is sauces.

Dave’s Gourmet White Truffle Marinara Sauce.

A pasta sauce said to be hand-made using artisanal techniques, it contains vine-ripened tomatoes, white truffle and edible gold flakes.  Offered only in a one-off limited-edition and supplied in a hand-crafted wooden box, the RRP (recommended retail price) was US$1000 per jar.

The original use of "sauce" was to describe the food condiment and until the early eighteenth century the spellings sawce & salse remained common in English, reflecting the influence of French cookery terms.  The seemingly mysterious seventeenth century use of sauce to mean “garden vegetables or roots” was a clipping of “garden-sauce”, the idea being that like a liquid sauce, the vegetables worked as a condiment to the meat.  From the late fourteenth century, it was used to describe “a curative preparation, medicinal salt”, referencing also the use in Antiquity to use (salsa) salt to preserve food.  The figurative meaning “something which adds piquancy to words or actions” was in use by the early sixteenth century while the sense of “impertinence” was first recorded in 1835 although etymologists note the connection of ideas in it is much older.  The use related to liquor (“back on the sauce” etc)" emerged during World War II (1939-1945).  The figurative phrase “serued with the same sauce” (subject to the same kind of usage) was in use by the 1520s while the more enduring “what’s sauce of the goose is sauce for the gander” (one who treats others in a certain way should not complain about receiving the same treatment) was first recorded in the 1670s.  William Shakespeare (1564–1616) used “saucy” to indicate a character’s was hot-tempered or impetuous, such as Tybalt in Romeo and Juliet (1597) or Katherina in The Taming of the Shrew (1592).  That use persists but “saucy” is now used also (of women) to suggest a quality of a confident sexiness.

Swamp Dragon's Second Edition Private Reserve Hot Sauce.

The title of "world's hottest sauce" is often contested and chilli breeders are always working to create ever more aggressive peppers.  Blended with a measure of the over-proof dark rum once distilled for the Royal Navy, given the arms race in the field, whether it's still the hottest is doubtful but it apparently remains the most expensive yet advertised at US$500 per bottle.  Unfortunately, it's now sold out so doubtlessly a foodie collectors' item.

In idiomatic use, the now archaic Australian phrase “fair shake of the sauce bottle” was a complaint that one’s fish & chips, meat pie or whatever hadn’t been provided with enough tomato sauce, a cultural comment of some historic significance given the stuff’s role as the nation’s standard all-purpose additive.  The phrase fell from use and is remembered only by the boomer generation and their seniors but it garnered some brief attention when in a television interview Dr Kevin Rudd (b 1957; Australian prime-minister 2007-2010 & 2013) used “fair suck of the sauce bottle”, a variant of “fair suck of the sav”, the idea of that the echo of a complaint once heard from children who believed their sibling might be taking more than their fair portion of a shared saveloy (a type of sausage which in Australia is something like a bigger and more seasoned frankfurter).  The word was a corruption of cervelat (Swiss smoked beef or pork sausage) or the French cervelas (a thick, short sausage) and the name is probably in some way connected with the region of Savoy (which, with border changes, now straddles areas in Italy, France & Switzerland).  Sucking from a sauce bottle is a vivid image, especially if it contains something like chilli sauce.

Quite how many varieties of sauce now exist or have existed isn’t known but it is certainly at least in the hundreds.  The classes include generic indications of use (fish sauce), color (pink sauce), alleged history (admiral's sauce), content (mint sauce), the manufacturer’s name (HP sauce), built in advertising (awesome sauce), identifier or warning (hot sauce), regionalism (Prussian sauce), occasion (coronation sauce), imagery (thousand island sauce), perception (fancy sauce), assertions (magic sauce), strength (XXX sauce) or a specific recipe type (Worcestershire sauce).  Sauce is served in a sauce boat; if serving gravy, then the implement is called a gravyboat.   Some can genuinely be mysterious such as Jezebel sauce, found mostly in the US, south of the Mason-Dixon Line.  Made usually with a mix of pineapple preserves, apple jelly, horseradish, and mustard, it's a condiment with a hot, sweet & saucy character and thus thought an allusion to the reputation of the Biblical Jezebel, the wickedness of whom is recounted in 1 Kings 21:5–16.  She was sort of the crooked Hillary Clinton of her time.

In some markets, tomato sauce is called "tomato ketchup" (in general use almost always clipped to "ketchup").  In 2004, US food processing company HJ Heinz conducted its "Four stars fall for Heinz Ketchup" promotion with the debut of Heinz's new Celebrity Talking Labels.  Former Pittsburgh Steelers National Football League (NFL) quarterback Terry Bradshaw (b 1948), dual Olympic gold medalist, and two-time FIFA Women's World Cup champion Mia Hamm (b 1972), actor William Shatner (b 1931) and actor Lindsay Lohan (b 1986) were the subjects of the talking labels campaign and the range was released in what Heinz said were "limited-edition bottles of the condiment", each featuring labels with quotes from each celebrity.  The promotion was well-received and extended until 2006 when Heinz offered consumers the opportunity to create their own labels by ordering customized bottles through a page on the Heinz website.

Although lexicographers, chefs and the authors of cook books will tend to be precise, in general use there’s likely sometimes some overlap in the use of “dressing”, “sauce”, “gravy”, “mayonnaise” & “relish”.  As a general principle, the following characteristics of each is an at least indicative list:  A dressing is a liquid or semi-liquid mixture used to flavor and enhance salads or other dishes and made usually with a combination of oil, vinegar, herbs, spices, and other flavorings, the common types including vinaigrette, ranch & Caesar.  A sauce is a thickened liquid or semi-solid food item that accompanies or is used to enhance the flavor of other foods.  Sauces may be savory or sweet and are served both hot & cold, made from a close to limitless number of ingredients such as tomatoes, cream, stock, fruits, or vegetables.  As an example of the wide range of types, at the one meal one may encounter both barbecue sauce, and chocolate sauce.  Gravy is a particular type of sauce, made classically from juices of cooked meat combined with flour or cornstarch, combined sometimes with a liquid such as broth, milk or cream.  Most associated with meat, it’s commonly served also with chips or mashed potatoes and depending on the intended purpose gravies can be seasoned with herbs, spices or even flavorings such as fruit to enhance the taste.  Mayonnaise is a usually thick, creamy condiment made from oil, condensed milk, egg yolks, vinegar or lemon juice, and seasonings.  Most mayonnaise has a richness to the flavor although some can be sweet and some tart.  Relish is made from chopped fruits or vegetables that are pickled or cooked with vinegar, sugar, and spices and while most are in some way tangy with a hint of sweetness, there are some which are very sweet.  Relishes are extensively used in cooking but the most popular use is as a topping or accompaniment to dishes like hot dogs, hamburgers or sandwiches.  Pickled cucumbers are a popular ingredient as is corn and one of the best known relishes is chutney, of Indian origin and from the Hindi चटनी (caṭnī).

Facade

Facade (pronounced fuh-sahd or fa-sahd)

(1) In architecture, the front of a building, especially an imposing or decorative one; any side of a building facing a public way or space and finished accordingly.

(2) By extension, the face or front (most visible side) of any other thing.

(3) Figuratively, a superficial appearance or illusion of something; a deceptive or insincere outward appearance; a front.

(4) In computing (object-oriented programming), a structural design pattern that provides an object that is a simplified interface to a larger body of code, such as a class library.

1650–1660: From the sixteenth century French façade, from the Italian facciata (the front of a building), from the Upper Italian faciada & facciata, derivations of faccia (front; face), from the Vulgar Latin facia from the Classical Latin facies (face).  The French façade, appears still to be an accepted alternative spelling and one popular with architects.  The figurative use dates from 1845.  Facade, facadectomy and facadism are nouns and facadal is an adjective; the noun plural is facades.

Neoclassicism in eighteenth century architecture

Neoclassicism (new classicism (from the Latin classicus (highest; best)), refers to an eighteenth and early-nineteenth century movement which took inspiration from Greece between the eighth and fourth centuries BC and Rome between the fifth and first.  The revival was expressed in art, literature, philosophy, history, music, and, most memorably, architecture.  Neoclassicism could not exactly replicate the works of antiquity.  Because only fragments remained, either as ruins or (perhaps not entirely reliable) depictions of what was built by the earlier civilizations, the world imagined was a construct, an idea of what once was.  This did mean neoclassicism tended often to adopt the few, most dramatic motifs which survived either in the representational record or as crumbling remains, a movement, at least initially, driven more by idealism than reality.  It was another example of the West’s enduring reverence for the ancient world and its supposed sublimity of form, neoclassicism serving what was perhaps the myth of classical perfection.

Facade of Chiswick House (1729), London, a villa built and designed by Richard Boyle (third Earl of Burlington (1694-1753)) in the Neo-Palladian style (a European school which followed the work of the Venetian architect Andrea Palladio (1508–1580).

Classical revivalism actually began during the Renaissance, some four centuries earlier, renaissance (rebirth) translating historically as the rebirth in Europe of the spirit of Ancient Greece and Rome.  However, eighteenth century Europe saw the Age of Enlightenment, transforming philosophy, politics, society & culture and the new science of archaeological excavation which led to astonishing discoveries such as the largely intact Roman towns of Pompeii and Herculaneum, buried after a volcanic eruption in 79 AD.  From these ruins, it was found the societies of antiquity were technologically more sophisticated and their art more extraordinary than once thought and the discoveries sparked renewed interest and as part of the research effort, a less idealized view of the past evolved.

A McMansion which features at least one element a architect would describe as a facade and (possibly) a sub-facade.  However, being a McMansion, it may appear on the plan as a "Demi-Façade".

With the rise of Romanticism in the nineteenth century, neoclassicism fell from fashion but it didn’t die and elements continue to be interpolated into modern architecture although, the borrowing of aspects usually rendered on large scale and applying them to relatively small-scale suburban houses is unfortunate though many critics think it no worse that the mash-up of motifs, neoclassical and otherwise, which appear on McMansions.  The noun facadism is a technical term from architecture and structural engineering which describes (1) the practice of retaining only the facade of an old building when redeveloping a site (something often required by heritage legislation) and (2) in building construction, a technique where the facade is designed to be constructed independently of the rest of the building (a modular approach which not only can mean a cheaper build but also one which permits a much easier “updating” or “refreshing” of the appearance, conceptually (though not structurally) analogous with a surgical facelift.  The noun facadectomy probably began as humorous in-house slang among architects and builders but is now accepted as a standard word, something doubtlessly assisted by the frequency with which facadectomies are latterly performed.  On the model of appendectomy (The surgical procedure for the removal of the vermiform appendix) etc, it describes either (1) the removal (and sometimes replacement) of a building's facade or (2) the retention of a building's facade behind which a new structure is built after the original building is demolished.

Lindsay Lohan in front of the Louvre, Paris, March, 2015.

Architects point out that regardless of the way dictionaries tend to describe the things, a facade is not simply "the front or outward facing surface of a structure" and that to be defined as such one must in some way be separate from the structure in that were it to be removed, the building would still stand.  That might deprive the building of it aesthetic appeal and even let in the wind and rain but it would remain standing.  In that, the architects' precision is closely aligned also with the way the word is used figuratively of people or institutions.  Depending on how one deconstructs, the Louvre has a facade, a multi-piece facade or a number of facades whereas the Louvre Pyramid has none at all; it is a unitary structure.  Like the Eiffel Tower which in the years immediately after its erection was much derided (especially by Parisians), the pyramid was much criticized but opinion seems to be softening; either the disapproving are dying off or they're coming at least to tolerate it.

Sommelier

Sommelier (pronounced suhm-uh l-yey or saw-muh-lyey (French))

A waiter, in a club or restaurant or something similar, who is in charge of wines; sometimes known as the wine steward.

1889: Details of the etymology are contested at the margins.  All agree it’s a dissimilated form of the Middle French sommerier (a butler), from the thirteenth century sommier (a military officer who had charge of provisions, a position which evolved into as aspect of the modern role of quartermaster (the the expression used to describe staff in these roles as "on the 'Q' side")).   One version traces this from the twelfth century somme (pack) from the Vulgar Latin salma, a corruption of the Late Latin sagma (a pack-saddle (and later "the pack on the saddle")).  The alternative suggestion was it was from the Old French Provençal saumalier (pack-animal driver) again from Late Latin sagma, the origin of which was the Ancient Greek ságma (covering, pack saddle).  Polish, Portuguese, Spanish & Swedish all use an unadapted borrowing of the French sommelier.  Sommelier is a noun & verb and sommeliering & sommeliered are verbs; the noun plural is sommeliers. 

Fifty-odd years of the Court of Master Sommeliers

Although they call themselves cork-dorks, at the most elite level, a sommelier can belong to a most exclusive club.  The Court of Master Sommeliers was established in 1977, formalizing the layers of qualification that began in 1969 in London with the first Master Sommelier examination, conducted now by the various chapters of the court and globally, they’re a rare few.  While over 600 people have been to space and there are rumored to be some 4000 members of the Secret Society of the Les Clefs d'Or, there are currently only 262 Master Sommeliers in the world. 

In training; practice makes perfect.

The Certified Sommelier Examination (CME) exists as three part concept: (1) a focus on a candidate’s ability to demonstrate proficiency in deductive tasting, (2) the technical aspects of wine production & distribution and (3) the practical skills and techniques of salesmanship required for those working as sommeliers in restaurants and other establishments.  It’s thus a vocational qualification for those who wish to pursue a career in hospitality, either in the specialized field of beverage services or as a prelude to moving into management.  Like the Secret Society of the Les Clefs d’Or, upon graduation as a Certified Sommelier, a candidate becomes entitled to a certificate, title and a lapel pin (in the singular and worn to the left rather than pair of cross keys issued by the Les Clefs d’Or).

It’s a structured process.  As a prerequisite, candidates must have completed the classes and passed the Introductory Sommelier Examination (ISE) although it’s no longer required of students that the CME be completed within three years of the ISE, candidates now encouraged to proceed to the next level when “best prepared”.  The court suggests a minimum of three years industry experience is desirable because both the content of both the ISE & SME are predicated on the assumption those sitting will have this background and it’s further advise it’s best to work in the field for at least twelve months between the two.  The CSE is a one-day examination in three parts and the minimum passing grade is 60% in each (all within the one sitting):

(1) A tasting examination using the court’s Deductive Tasting Method (DTM), candidates during which candidates must with a high degree of accuracy & clarity describe and identify four wines (two white and two red).  The format of this is a written four-section essay which must be completed within 45 minutes and the DTM exists in a structured format which candidates must learn prior to the exam.

The Court of Master Sommelier's Deductive Tasting Method.

(2) A theory examination which is designed to test candidates' knowledge and understanding of wine, beverage, and the sommelier trade.  The test consists of multiple choice, short answer, some non-abstract math (ie the sort of arithmetic relevant to the profession) and matching questions. Candidates must complete the 45-question examination within 38 minutes.

Lindsay Lohan demonstrating early sommelier skills in The Parent Trap (1998).  She decided to focus on acting, pursuing wine-tasting only as a hobby.

(3) A Service Examination: The service examination is a practical-level experience, conducted in a setting which emulates a “real: restaurant environment.  It’s designed to allow candidates to demonstrate salesmanship, knowledge and appropriate conversational skills, all while performing the tableside tasks associated with the job.  The test typically includes opening still or sparkling wines in the correct manner and is not limited purely to what’s in the bottle, students expected to be able to recommend cocktails, spirits or other drinks and discuss the interplay of food and wine; what goes best with what.  As befits a practical exam, candidates must dress and deport themselves exactly as they would if employed as a restaurant sommelier.

MRDA

MRDA (pronounced emm-ahr-dee-ey)

The abbreviation of “Mandy Rice-Davies Applies”, an aphorism used in law and politics to refer to any denial which is transparently self-interested.

1963: An allusion to the statement “Well he would, wouldn't he?”, said by Welsh model Mandy Rice-Davies (1944-2004) during cross-examination in a trial at the Old Bailey (the central criminal court for England & Wales) associated with the Profumo affair.

Lord Astor, Mandy Rice-Davies and the Profumo Affair

The context of Ms Rice-Davies’s answer was the question: “Are you aware that Lord Astor denies any impropriety in his relationship with you?” and the answer “Well he would, wouldn't he?” elicited from those in the court “some amusement”.  MDRA (Mandy Rice-Davies Applies) thus became in law and politics an aphorism used as “verbal shorthand” to refer to any denial which is transparently self-interested although it doesn’t of necessity imply a denial is untrue.  In general use, the fragment from the trial is often misquoted as “Well he would say that, wouldn't he?” because that better encapsulates the meaning without being misleading.

Mandy Rice-Davis (left) and Christine Keeler (right), London, 1963.

The Profumo affair was one of those fits of morality which from time-to-time would afflict English society in the twentieth century and was a marvellous mix of class, sex, spying & money, all things which make a good scandal especially juicy.  John Profumo (1915-2006) was the UK’s Minister for War (the UK cabinet retained the position until 1964 although it was disestablished in the US in 1947) who, then 46, was found to be conducting an adulterous affair with 19 year old topless model Christine Keeler (1942-2017) at the same time she was also enjoying trysts with a Russian spy, attached to the Soviet embassy with the cover of naval attaché.  Although there are to this day differing interpretations of the scandal, there have never been any doubts this potential Cold-War conduit between a KGB spy and Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for War represented at least a potential conflict of interest.

Dr Evatt (left), comrade Molotov (centre) and Soviet translator Alexei Pavlov, exchanging MRDAs in Russian & English, London, 1942.

MRDAs are common in courtrooms and among politicians but some became legends.  In 1954, Dr HV Evatt (1894–1965; Australian attorney-general & foreign minister 1941-1949, and leader of opposition 1951-1960), in the midst of a particularly febrile period during the Cold War, wrote a letter to comrade Vyacheslav Molotov (1890–1986; Soviet foreign minister 1939-1949 & 1953-1956) asking if allegations of Soviet espionage in Australia were true.  Comrade Molotov of course wrote back, politely denying the USSR engaged in spying anywhere.  Assured, Evatt read the letter to the parliament and the members sat for a moment stunned until, on both sides, loudly laughing.  It was a MRDA before there were MRDAs.

The Profumo affair is noted also for being at least an influence in the end of the “age of deference” in England and while that’s often probably overstated, the immediate reaction and the aftermath proved it wasn’t only across colonial Africa that a “wind of change” was blowing.  The second Lord Astor (1907–1966) was emblematic of the upper classes of England who once would have expected deference from someone like Ms Rice-Davis, someone “not of the better classes” as his lordship might have put it.  Although what came to be known as the “swinging sixties” didn’t really begin until a couple of years after the Profumo affair when the baby-boomers began to come of age, the generational shift had by then become apparent and it was something surprisingly sudden as the interest of the young switched from pop music to politics.  As recently as the 1959 election campaign, the patrician Harold Macmillan (1894–1986; UK prime-minister 1957-1963) had told the working classes “most of you have never had it so good” and for the last time they would express their gratitude to their betters, delivering the Tories an increased majority, an impressive achievement for "the last of the old Edwardians" who, upon assuming the premiership in 1957 in the wake of the Suez debacle, had told the Queen he doubted his administration would last six weeks.

In the matter of Lehrmann v Network Ten Pty Limited [2024] FCA 369

Mr Justice Lee.

Justice Michael Lee (b 1965) in April 2024 handed down one of the more anticipated judgments of recent years, finding Bruce Lehrmann (b 1995), on the civil law test of the balance of probabilities, had raped Brittany Higgins (b 1993) on the sofa in a ministerial suite in Parliament House while the victim was affected by strong drink.  Apart from the heightened public interest in the verdict, lawyers were watching closely to see if there would be encouragement for those defending themselves in defamation cases, something which had been lent unexpected strength by an earlier judgment; although the matter of rape was central to the facts, Lehrmann v Network Ten was a defamation case.  However, for those who appreciate judicial findings for their use of language, Justice Lee didn’t disappoint and although neither Ms Rice-Davies nor MRDA were mentioned in his text, as he assessed the conduct and evidence of Mr Lehrmann, they may have come to mind.

Janet Albrechtsen in her study.

In his opening remarks, the judge acknowledged the case had become a cause celebre for many and that it was best described as “an omnishambles”, the construct being the Latin omni(s) (all) + shambles, from the Middle English schamels (plural of schamel), from the Old English sċeamol & sċamul (bench, stool), from the Proto-West Germanic skamul & skamil (stool, bench), from the Vulgar Latin scamellum, from the Classical Latin scamillum (little bench, ridge), from scamnum (bench, ridge, breadth of a field).  In English, shambles enjoyed a number of meanings including “a scene of great disorder or ruin”, “a cluttered or disorganized mess”, “a scene of bloodshed, carnage or devastation” or (most evocatively), “a slaughterhouse”.  As one read the judgement one could see why the judge was drawn to the word although, in the quiet of his chambers, “clusterfuck” may have been in his thoughts as he pondered the best euphemism.  Helpfully, one of the Murdoch press’s legal commentators, The Australian’s Janet Albrechtsen (b 1966; by Barry Goldwater out of Ayn Rand) who had been one of the journalists most interested in the case, informed the word nerds omnishambles (1) dated from 2009 when it was coined for the BBC political satire The Thick Of It and (2) had endured well enough to be named the Oxford English Dictionary’s (OED) 2021 Word of the Year.  The judge's linguistic flourish was a hint of things to come in what was one of the more readable recent judgments.

Noting Mr Lehrmann’s original criminal trial on the rape charge had been aborted (after having already been delayed for reasons related to the defamation matter) because of jury misconduct with a subsequent retrial not pursued because of the prosecution’s concern about the fragile mental state of the complainant, the judge observed “Having escaped the lion’s den, Mr Lehrmann made the mistake of coming back for his hat.”  In other words, Mr Lehrmann who could have walked away with no findings against him, lured by the millions of dollars to be gained, rolled the legal dice and was found to have committed rape.  He is of course not the first to fall victim to suffer self-inflicted legal injury in not dissimilar circumstances; the writers (from different literary traditions) Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) and Jeffrey Archer (b 1940) both were convicted and imprisoned as a consequence of them having initiated libel actions.  Whether Mr Lehrmann will now face a retrial in the matter of rape is in the hands of the Australian Capital Territory’s (ACT) Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP).  In such a case, it would be necessary to prove the event happened under the usual test in criminal law: beyond reasonable doubt.  Even if that isn’t pursued by the DPP, his time in courtrooms may not be over because it’s possible he may face action because of his conduct in this trial with the handling of certain documents and another unrelated matter is pending in Queensland.

In considering the evidence offered by Mr Lehrmann, the judge appears to have found some great moments in the history of MRDAs:

Commenting on his claim to having returned (after midnight following Friday evening’s hours of convivial drinking) to his Parliament House office to write papers about the French submarines and related government matters, he observed Mr Lehrmann “…hitherto had demonstrated no outward signs of being a workaholic.”  “To remark that Mr Lehrmann was a poor witness is an exercise in understatement.”

Regarding the claim Mr Lehrmann had made to someone to whom he’d just been introduced that he was “…waiting on a clearance to come through so that he could go and work at Asis.” (the Australian Security Intelligence Service; the external intelligence service al la the UK SIS (MI6) or the US CIA (although without the assassinations… as far as is known)), the judge observed she “…kept her well-founded incredulity to herself.”, such “Walter Mitty-like imaginings” demonstrating he “…had no compunction about departing from the truth if he thought it expedient.”

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December, 2011.

The reading of the judgement was live-streamed and the passage which got the loudest chuckle was in the discussion of Mr Lehrmann’s deciding whether he found Ms Higgins attractive.  In an interview on commercial television broadcast in 2023, he’d denied finding the young lady attractive, despite the existence of comments dating from 2019 indicating the opposite.  Pausing only briefly, Justice Lee delivered this news with an arched eyebrow:  “When confronted by this inconsistency, his attempt to explain it away by suggesting the attraction he felt for Ms Higgins was ‘just like [the attraction] I can find [in] anybody else in this [court]room, irrespective of gender’ was as disconcerting as it was unconvincing.”  The judge ordered to audience to suppress their laughter.

Even regarding submarines as a likely topic over drinks, his honour was sceptical: “With the exception of Mr Lehrmann, no one who gave evidence as to their time at The Dock could recall discussing Australia’s submarine contracts with France at either table. The lack of recollection of any discussion of this topic is intuitively unsurprising.  Declaiming on the topics of who was building submarines and where they were being built was not quite the repartee one would usually expect to hear over a convivial drink on a Friday night between 20 [something]-year-olds out for a good time – even if (with respect) one would not expect the badinage of the Algonquin Round Table.” (an early twentieth century, shifting aggregation of men & women of letters who met over lunch in New York’s Algonquin Hotel, their barbs and thoughts often appearing in their newspaper & magazine columns; they dubbed themselves “The Vicious Circle” and were a sort of Cliveden set without the politics.  Cliveden was a stately home in Buckinghamshire, the country seat of Lord Astor and the scene of many of the events central to the Profumo affair).

The judge was forensic in his deconstruction of Mt Lehrmann’s MRDA he returned to Parliament House after being out drinking with Ms Higgins and others in order to retrieve his keys: “If the reason Mr Lehrmann needed to return to Parliament House was to collect his keys, he could have texted his girlfriend to have her meet him at the door or called her.  Mr Lehrmann asks me to accept the proposition that it was ‘a process to get in’ to his shared flat and that to avoid this complication, he preferred to: (a) go out of his way to go back to work in the early hours; (b) lie to Parliament House security; (c) sign the necessary register; (d) be issued with a pass; (e) go through a metal detector; (f) be escorted by a security guard to his office; (g) obtain his keys from his office; (h) book another Uber; (i) go back through a Parliamentary exit; (j) meet the ride-share car; and then (k) ride home.”

Bruce Lehrmann leaving the court after the verdict was delivered.

In psychiatry, distinction is made between the “habitual” and “compulsive” liar and while this wasn’t something Justice Lee explored, he did in one passage sum up his assessment of the likely relationship to truth in anything Mr Lehrmann might say: “I do not think Mr Lehrmann is a compulsive liar, and some of the untruths he told during his evidence may sometimes have been due to carelessness and confusion, but I am satisfied that in important respects he told deliberate lies. I would not accept anything he said except where it amounted to an admission, accorded with the inherent probabilities, or was corroborated by a contemporaneous document or a witness whose evidence I accept.”

One fun footnote from the case was a non-substantive matter, Ms Lisa Wilkinson (b 1959), the Network 10 journalist at the centre of the defamation claim, objecting to being characterized as a “tabloid journalist”.  It transpired her employment history included stints with Dolly, the Australian Women’s Weekly and commercial television including the Beauty & the Beast show.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t asked to define what she thought “tabloid journalism” meant; perhaps Justice Lee decided he’d heard enough MRDAs that day.

On the basis that, on the balance of probabilities, Mr Lehrmann did rape Ms Higgins, his claim for damages against Network Ten for defamatory material earlier broadcast was dismissed.  The judge found the material indeed had the capacity to defame but because the imputations substantially were true, their defense was sustained.  So, the only millions of dollars now to be discussed concern the legal costs: who is to pay whom, the judge asking the party’s submission be handed to the court by 22 April.  Mr Lehrmann’s legal team has not indicated if they’re contemplating an appeal.