Dank

Dank (pronounced dangk)

(1) Unpleasantly moist or humid; damp and, often, chilly.

(2) In slang, as dank weed, excellent; high quality marijuana.

(3) In slang, as a critique of an internet meme) passé or clichéd, out of touch; having missed the cultural moment.

(4) In slang, an adjective of generalized approval or disapproval depending on the practice of the user, the former using dank ironically, the latter literally.

(5) A small silver coin formerly used in Persia

(6) As the acronym DANK, the Deutsch Amerikanischer National Kongress (German American National Congress).

(7) As an intransitive verb, to moisten, dampen; used of mist, dew etc (obsolete).

1350-1400: From the Middle English danke (wet, damp; dampness, moisture), probably from the North Germanic and related to the Swedish dänka & dank (marshy spot), the Norwegian dynke (to moisten), the Icelandic dökk (“pool”), the Old Norse dǫkk (pit, depression; water hole), from the Proto-Germanic dankwaz (dark).  The alternative etymology traces it to the a West Germanic source such as Dutch damp (vapor) or the Middle High German damph, both ultimately from the Proto-Germanic dampaz (smoke, steam, vapor).  Dank is an adjective & noun, dankly is an adverb, dankness is a noun and danker & dankest are adjectives.  The noun plural is danks.  Dank’s niche in the language is unique but words associated with the idea include chilly, damp, humid, muggy, steamy, sticky, wet, clammy, dewy, dripping, moist, slimy & soggy

In other languages the evolution differed.  In Modern Dutch, dank (gratitude, a showing or token of recognition; reward, recompense) is from the Middle Dutch danc, from Old Dutch thank, from the Proto-Germanic þankaz.  In German, dank (thanks to, because of) was cognate with danken and the Dutch dank (and related to the Latin grātia) while in Lower Sorbian it came to mean "tax, fine, levy, duty".  In one Germanic quirk, in Luxembourgish, dank evolved as the second-person singular imperative of danken (to thank), from the Old High German thankōn, from the Proto-Germanic þankōną and cognate with the German danken, the Dutch danken, and the English thank.

Dank is also a surname.  Diana Dank (b 1989) is a Russian actress and graduate in international management from the Russian Foreign Trade Academy (Moscow).

Dank is not, as is sometimes supposed, a blend of “damp” and “dark” although, most associated with describing damp, dark basements, it’s a practical working definition although dank places are often thought of as humid too.  The seemingly curious evolution of dank as a slang term meaning either “very good” or “very bad” is actually derived from the literal meaning in the sense of “moisture” which can be bad (rising damp etc) or something good (nice moist buds of weed).  Dank weed, the much admired strain of marijuana is said to be really potent, the recommended processing involving a slow drying of the harvested plant material in a paper bag with the top folded and placed in another bag, thereby reducing exposure to light & air.  When retrieving, aficionados check to ensure it remains moist, green and sticky, the resin glands still intact and “sweating” (slightly excreting).  Dank is the sense of things in general which are good developed from here, much as “filth” as a term of approbation emerged from the sense of “dirty bitch”.

Colophon

Colophon (pronounced kol-uh-fon or kol-uh-fuhn)

(1) A publisher's or printer's distinctive emblem (or imprint, label, logo, mark, symbol trademark etc), used as an identifying device on its books and other works, appearing variously within the covers and at the base of the spine (replicated in the same place on a dust jacket).

(2) An inscription (historically at the end of a book or manuscript but of late frequently printed towards the beginning), widely used since the fifteenth century (although the practice pre-dates the invention of printing) and providing the title or subject of the work, selected details about the author(s), the name of the printer or publisher, the date and place of publication and (less commonly), technical details such as typefaces, bibliophilic information or the paper and method of binding used.

(3) By extension, in internet use, a page on a website identifying the details of its creation, such as the author's name, the technologies used (including copyright attribution) and many other details, some or all of which may replicate the metadata associated with objects in other digital contexts.

(3) In entomology, a genus of beetles in the stag beetle family Lucanidae.

(4) In art, music, poetry etc, a finishing stroke or crowning touch (archaic except as an artistic affectation).

(5) An city in Ancient Greece (in Lydia, Asia Minor); one of the twelve Ionian cities banded together in the eighth century BC and substantially depopulated in 286 BC (always initial capital).  It was romanized as Kolophṓn.

1615-1625: From the Late Latin colophōn, from the Ancient Greek κολοφών (kolophṓn) (peak, summit; finishing touch; a finishing stroke), from the primitive Indo-European root kel (to be prominent; hill).  A colophon should not be confused with colophonite (in mineralogy a coarsely granular variety of garnet) or technical words from medicine words like coloplasty (surgery on the colon (especially partial resection or an instance of such surgery)).  The adjective Colophonian is applied to (1) an inhabitant of the Lydian city of Colophon or (2) matters of or pertaining to that city.  The term colophony (for the type of rosin) is from colophonia resina (from the Ancient Greek Κολοφωνία ῥητίνη (Kolophōnia rhētinē)) which describes the hardened resin from the pine trees of Colophon, a substance valued by the craftsmen who made stringed musical instruments because its properties were uniquely helpful in increasing the friction of bow hairs (and now used in pharmaceutical preparations & soldering fluxes though it’s still prized by those who play the violin, viola, cello etc).  Colophon is a noun and colophonic is an adjective; the noun plural is colophons.

The etymological relationship between the colophon in publishing and the Ancient Greek city of Colophon lies in the original meaning of the word and the reverence in the West for the classical world which would have found a Latin or Greek form preferable to something in brutish English like “details page”.  The Greek word κολοφών (kolophṓn) meant “peak” or “summit” and thus the ancient Lydian city in Asia Minor (what is now the land mass of the modern Republic of Türkiye) which was said to be the oldest of the twelve of the Ionian League came to be known as Colophon because it was built upon a ridgeline which rose between Ephesus & Lebedos.  From the, in Greek, kolophṓn came to be used to mean “a city or town at the summit of a hill or a signpost at the end of a trail that indicated the name and location of the place” and thus “a finishing touch; a finishing stroke”.  From this duality of meaning came the use in publishing, the bibliographic addendum called a “colophon” in the metaphorical sense of a “crowning touch” and the historic placement at the end of a book or manuscript an allusion to “the signpost at the end”.  Although it would be centuries before anything like a standardized form emerged, the concept of the colophon has been identified in texts from antiquity, recognizable versions existing as early as the second century AD.

An emulation of a colaphon.

A colophon is not an essential component of a book but many publishers have long included one.  In its most simple modern form, a colophon is a summary of technical information which includes data such as the name & insignia of the publisher, the font(s) used, the details of photographs or art used on the covers and the names of the author(s) or editor(s), along with whatever biographical data they may care to reveal.  The nature of the text also influences what’s included, books with a technical bent (and certainly those covering IT matters) likely to list software used in the composition while those which focus on photography are likely to include much about cameras.  Reflecting environment concerns, increasingly colophons include mentions of thing like sustainability in the process (which can mean much or little) or the use of recycled materials.  A colophon differs from a blurb (often printed on the back cover or a cover flap) which is a blend of promotional puff-piece and a précis of the contents.  Traditionally part of the back matter, they’re now often found among the front pages along with the title page (a more modern innovation than the colophon) appearing with the usual entries such as the date & place of publication, the copyright stamp, ISBN references etc.  In a sense, a colophon can be considered a form of metadata (which references the concept of structured information which is about other data).

Gully

Gully (pronounced guhl-ee)

(1) A small valley or ravine originally worn away by running water and serving as a drainage-way after prolonged or heavy rain.

(2) A ditch or gutter.

(3) In cricket, a position in the off-side field (some 30^o behind square), between point and the widest of the slips (or wicket-keeper if no slip is set); the fielder occupying this position.

(4) In tenpin bowling, either of the two channels at the side of the bowling lane.

(5) To make gullies in the ground or an object

(6) In hydrology, to form channels by the action of water.

(7) In slang, or relating to the environment, culture, or life experience in poor urban neighborhoods; vulgar, raw, or authentic and sometimes used as an alternative to ghetto.

(8) In (US) slang, as gullywasher, an intense, but typically brief rain event, the form dating from 1887.

(9) In Scotland and northern England, a knife, especially a large kitchen or butcher’s knife (the alternative spelling gulley).

(10) In some parts of the English-speaking word, a synonym for valley, especially one heavily wooded; a deep, wide fissure between two buttresses in a mountain face, sometimes containing a stream or scree (although in most traditions gullies are usually dry, water flowing only after heavy rain or a sudden input of water from other drainage systems.

(11) In engineering slang, any channel like structure which is available to be used for some purpose such as ducts or cables (applied to anything from computer motherboards to nuclear reactors).

(12) In engineering, a grooved iron rail or tram plate (mostly UK).

(13) In civil engineering, sometimes used as a descriptor for drop-kerbs, gutters etc.

(14) Of liquid, noisily to flow (obsolete).

(15) In South Asia (chiefly India but known also in Pakistan, Bangladesh & Sri Lanka, an alleyway or side street.     

1530–1540: Etymologists have traced several possible sources of the word and it’s not impossible the word evolved independently in different places.  It may have been a variant of the Middle English golet (esophagus, gullet), from Old French goulet (the French –et ultimately replace by –y), from Latin gula (throat) and the meaning-shift in the Middle English to "water channel, ravine" may have been influenced by Middle English gylle, gille & galle (deep narrow valley, ravine), hence gill for some time being a synonym.   An alternative source from The French has been suggested as goulet (neck of a bottle).  The use is South Asia is more certain, borrowed from Hindi गली (galī) and the Urdu گَلی‎ (galī) with the spelling evolving under the Raj under the influence of English.  It was inherited from Ashokan Prakrit galī and was cognate with the Punjabi ਗਲੀ (galī) / گَلی‎ (galī), the Gujarati ગલી (galī), the Sindhi ڳَليِ‎ / ॻली, the Marathi गल्ली (gallī) and the Bengali গলি (gôli), the Latin callis, the Italian calle and Spanish calle (street, lane or path).  The first reference (in Scottish English) to the knife (the spelling gully or gulley) dates from circa 1575–1585, the origin unknown.  Gully is a noun & verb and gullied & gullying are verbs; the noun plural is gullies.

Historically, a gully was a natural formation of water flows which was usually dry except after periods of heavy rainfall or a sudden input of water from other drainage systems after more remote flooding or the melting of snow or ice.  Over the years the meaning has become less precise and other words are sometimes used to describe what are understood by many as gullies.  The noun ravine (long deep gorge worn by a stream or torrent of water) dates from 1760 and was from the mid seventeenth century French ravin (a gully), from the Old French raviner (to pillage; to sweep down, cascade), and the French ravine (a violent rush of water, a gully worn by a torrent), from the Old French ravine (violent rush of water, waterfall; avalanche; robbery, rapine).  Both the French noun and verb ultimately came from the Latin rapina (act of robbery, plundering (related to rapine and the source of much modern confusion because “rape” was long used in the sense of “pillage” or “kidnapping”)) with sense development influenced by the Latin rapidus (rapid).  Entries for ravine appear in early seventeenth century dictionaries with the meaning “a raging flood” whereas in fourteenth century Middle English, both ravin & ravine meant “booty, plunder, robbery”, this circa 1350-1500 borrowing of the Latin influenced French word.  Dating from 1832, the noun gulch (deep ravine), despite being of recent origin, is a mystery.  It may have been from the obsolete or dialectal verb gulsh (sink in to the soil) or "gush out" (of water), from the early thirteenth century Middle English gulchen (to gush forth; to drink greedily), the most evocative use of which was the mid thirteenth century gulche-cuppe (a greedy drinker).  Despite the vague similarities, etymologists maintain these forms had no etymological connection with gully.  Other words (trench, culvert, crevasse, chasm, notch, chase, watercourse, channel, gutter gorge watercourse etc), even when they have precise meanings in geography or hydrology, are also sometimes used interchangeably with gully.

Japanese manhole covers (マンホールの蓋 (Manhōru no futa)) can be delightful or functional (in a typically thoughtful Japanese manner, some include a locality map with directions) but usually provide little inspiration for those designing wheels.

In the nineteenth century, Modern German picked up Gully from English in the sense of “a road drain, a drainage channel” (synonym: Straßenablauf), the covering of a road drain or gully being Ablaufgitter & Ablaufdeckel.  One adaptation quickly coined was Gullydeckel (manhole cover), the construct being gully + deckel, (an untypically economical construct in German given the usual forms for manhole were Kontrollschacht & Einstiegschacht), an alternative to Kanaldeckel (manhole cover).  Deckel (lid, cap, cover of a container) was an ellipsis of Bierdeckel (beer mat) and also used in humorous slang to mean “headwear, hat” although it was most productive in the formation of compounds with cap in the sense of “an artificial or arbitarily imposed upper limit or ceiling” such as Preisdeckel (price cap), the common synonym being Deckelung (capping).

A German Gullideckel (left), a Mercedes-Benz “Gullideckel” aluminum wheel (centre) and a 1988 Mercedes-Benz 560 SL so equipped.

The alternative spelling was Gullideckel and it was this which was picked up to describe the design of aluminum wheel adopted by Mercedes-Benz in 1982.  The reference is explained by the wheel’s design bearing a similarity to that typically used by German manhole covers although Mercedes-Benz dryly explained their concerns were less artistic or a tribute to Teutonic urban hydrology than a reflection of the imperatives of optimizing the air-flow required for brake cooling and a reduction in drag compared to their earlier, long-serving design.  It was in the 1980s that the greatest improvement in the aerodynamic efficiency of cars was achieved and wheels were a significant, though often little-noticed part of the process.

Top row: Mercedes-Benz C111 at Hockenheimring, 1969 (left).  The C111 series was originally a rolling test bed for the evaluation of Wankel engines ad it was on the C111 that the new wheels (then called “Premier”) were first shown although no production versions (centre) were ever made so wide.  The 6½ inch versions were first used on the 450 SEL 6.9 (right).  Bottom row: A bundt cake tin (left); like the wheels, the tins are made from aluminum but are always cast or pressed, not forged.  A ginger bundt cake (centre) and a lemon blueberry bundt cake with vanilla icing (right).      

The earlier design used by Mercedes-Benz was apparently not inspired by any existing product but the public soon found nicknames.  Introduced in 1969 and soon an option throughout the range except du Grosser (the 600 (W100) 1963-1981) until 1986, the factory initially listed them as the “Premier Wheel” (ie the “top of the range”) but in the public imagination the nicknames prevailed.  First informally dubbed "Baroque" because of what was then considered an ornate design, the name which endured was “Bundt” an allusion to the popular “bundt cakes”, a circular cake with a hole in the centre and there was certainly some resemblance.  Produced by the Otto Fuchs (pronounced fuks) Company of Meinerzhagen (near Cologne), the early versions were all painted silver (though not clear-coated) and available only in a 14 x 6-inch size, 5½ inch versions soon offered to suit the lower powered cars while in the mid-1970s, production began of 6½ inch versions to handle the tyres fitted to the much faster 450 SEL 6.9 (W116) and 450 SLC 5.0.  Demand for the bundt wheel option grew rapidly, forcing Fuchs to add a line of cast wheels in the same design, the casting process able to achieve both higher volumes and a lower unit cost.  The process of forging aluminum requires great heat and immense pressure (Fuchs used as much as 7,000 tons of force) and realigns the granular structure of the material in the direction of the flow, creating a more homogeneous and less porous micro-structure.  Forging renders aluminum as strong as steel for less weight and provides a notably higher resistance to fatigue and corrosion but the process is expensive.  Fuchs also manufactured small runs of a 15 x 7-inch version and today these are much sought after.  Such is the appeal of the style, specialists in the US have fabricated versions in both a 16 & 17-inch format although, being very expensive, they remain rare.  Today, factories often offer a variety of designs of aluminum wheels with some styles available only briefly but for over fifteen years, the bundt was the only one offered.

Fuchs wheels on Porsche 911s in matt metal, (left), polished (centre) & with painted highlights.  The Porsche pedants chide any restorer who finishes the wheels in any manner than that originally done at the factory.  

A half a decade earlier, Mercedes-Benz neighbors in Stuttgart had also designed an aluminum wheel.  Porsche had planned a 1965 release for its new 911 S, at that time the fastest, sportiest version of the 911 which had been on sale since 1963 and the distinctive five-spoke shape would first be sold in 1966 and remain on the option list until 1989, the popularity so enduring it’s since been reprised more than once.  Distinctive though it was, there were really only two requirements for the new wheel: It needed to be durable and light, strong enough to endure the stresses the higher speed of the 911 S and delivering a reduction in un-sprung mass weight significant enough to enhance handling.  The design target was an aluminum wheel which weighted 3 kg (6½ lb) less than steel wheel of the same dimensions.

Porsche had also used the Otto Fuchs Company, impressed by the foundry having developed a new manufacturing process which, instead of using a cast rim, manufactured it in one piece from an alloy made of 97% aluminum with the remainder composed mostly of magnesium, silicon, manganese & titanium, the technique still used by the company today.  The five-leaf clover design was based on nothing in particular and was done in-house by Porsche, the only change from the original prototype apparently a smoothing of the scalloped shape which first adorned the spokes.  The design proved adaptable, the original 15 x 4½-inch wide wheels growing eventually to eight inches when fitted to the rear of the 911 Turbo (930), the additional rubber required to tame the behavior of a machine which some labeled the “widow maker”.  Later designs have offered various specific improvements but none has matched the charm of the original and Fuchs have continued its manufacture for later model 911s, some in larger diameters to accommodate advances in suspension geometry and tyres.

Gas-burners: Lindsay Lohan using gas-burner as improvised cigarette lighter, Terry Richardson (b 1965) photo-shoot, 2012 (left), two of Mahle GmbH’s magnesium wheels (centre) and a 1971 Porsche 911 T so equipped.

The five spoke wheel is a matter of particular interest to the originality police in the Porsche collector community and great attention is paid to date-stamping and paint, it being very important that where appropriate the wheels variously should either be unpainted or painted in a certain way in a certain color.  Deviations from what the factory did are not tolerated.  Although five-leaf clover design never picked-up an association with other circular shapes like manhole covers or cakes, there was another Porsche wheel which did.  Produced by Mahle GmbH and quickly dubbed “gas-burners”, they were available on the 911, 912 & 914-6 between 1970-1972 and although generally not thought as attractive as Fuchs’ creations, the “gas-burners” have a cult following based on pure functionality: Pressure cast in magnesium and available only in a 15 x 5½-inch format, at 4.3 kg (9½ lb) they’re said to be the lightest 15-inch wheel ever made, more svelte even than the 15 x 6-inch units Michelin rendered in glass fibre & resin for the Citroën SM (1970-1975).

Aunger magazine advertisement, 1974.  Not all wheels use an existing circular product as a model.  A style popular in the 1970s, it was known colloquially as the “jellybean”, “slotted” or “beanhole”.

Fake & Faux

Fake (pronounced feyk)

(1) To prepare or make something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent.

(2) To conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable etc, usually in an attempt to deceive.

(3) To pretend; simulate; emulate.

(4) To accomplish by trial and error or by improvising:

(5) To trick or deceive.

(6) In jazz music, to improvise (non pejorative).

(7) To play music without reading from a score (usually non pejorative).

(8) Anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit.

(9) A person who fakes; faker.

(10) To lay (a rope) in a coil or series of long loops so as to allow to run freely without fouling or kinking (often followed by down).

(11) Any complete turn of a rope that has been faked down; any of the various ways in which a rope may be faked down.

(12) In German, a male given name.

1350–1400: From the Middle English faken (to coil a rope) of unknown origin.  The nautical adoption fake (one of the windings of a cable or hawser in a coil) was from the Swedish veck (a fold) and probably entered English from exchanges between English and Scandinavian sailors.  The more familiar modern meaning is documented from 1775 as an adjective meaning “to counterfeit”.  It’s attested from 1812 as vagrants' slang meaning “to do for, rob or kill someone” but was also, in an echo of the earlier form, used to mean “shape something”.  It’s thought to have been either (1) a variant of the obsolete feak & feague (to beat), akin to Dutch veeg (a slap) & vegen (to sweep, wipe) or (2), a part of the Lingua Franca via Polari from the Italian facciare (to make or do).

It’s documented from 1851 as a noun (a swindle) and from 1888 was applied to a person (a swindler), but most etymologists assume the oral use was older.  The most likely source is thought to have been feague (to spruce up by artificial means), from the German fegen (polish, sweep) which, in colloquial use was used to mean "to clear out, to plunder".  In English, much of the early slang of thieves is from German or Dutch sources, dating from that great linguistic melting pot, the Thirty Years' War (1618-1648) and until the nineteenth century, was largely un-documented although the fragmentary evidence available does suggest use was constantly shifting.

Fake news (journalism deliberately misleading), although popularized in the 2016 US presidential campaign (and subsequently applied quite incorrectly), was actually first attested in 1894 although, as a device, fake news is probably about as old as news itself.  Faker as an agent noun from faker the verb is from 1846 and the noun fakement (forgery) is from 1811.  To “fake (someone) out” is a description of applied gamesmanship in sport and noted from 1941.  To jazz musicians, “to fake” was merely oral slang for improvising and the “fake book” is attested from 1951.  Interestingly, the adjective "jivey" was sometimes used as a pejorative (phony, fake) unlike "jive" which, in a musical context, was always purely descriptive.

Fake is a noun & verb, faker & fakery are nouns and the verbs (used with object) are faked, faking; the noun plural is fakes.  Synonyms include ersatz, fake, false, imitation, imitative, unreal, counterfeit, fabricated, factitious, spurious, substitute, affected, contrived, feigned, insincere, plastic, synthetic, unnatural, bogus, affected, forged, fraudulent, mock, phony, spurious, deception, forgery, hoax, scam, sham, trick, put on, assumed, fraud, impostor, quack, charlatan, deceiver, substitute, contrived, feigned, insincere, plastic, unnatural

Faux (pronounced foh)

Artificial or imitation.

1676: from the twelfth century French faux (feminine singular fausse, masculine plural faux, feminine plural fausses), from the Old French fals, from the Latin falsus (false), perfect passive participle from fallō (deceive, trick; mistake).  The origin of fallō is uncertain.  It’s thought either from the Proto-Italic falsō, from the primitive Indo-European (s)whzel (to stumble) or from the primitive Indo-European ǵhwel- (to lie, deceive) but etymologists note structural problems with the latter.  A doublet of false.

The word fake almost always carries negative connotations, the idea of something that is not real, an imitation designed to trick someone into thinking it is real or original.  A fake might be a forgery or copy which is (certainly with many digital fakes) indistinguishable from whatever is the real or original thing it imitates, indeed it might even be an improvement but it remains fake.

Lindsay Lohan in faux fur, amfAR gala, New York City, 2013.

Faux has since the 1980s been used in English (with French pronunciation) to describe anything which is imitative without attempting to deceive.  Prior to this, the only frequent use in English was the faux pas (breach of good manners, any act that compromises one's reputation (literally "false step")), noted since the 1670s.  Faux tends not to convey the negative association of fake because it so blatantly an alternative rather than an attempt to deceive, indeed, it can have positive connotations, such as when it’s fur.  Faux fur is now respectable and, among some circles, there’s long been a micro-industry devoted to turning into social pariahs anyone wearing the real thing.  Sometimes, supporters of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) use direct action, the flinging of red paint onto the offending coast or stole a favorite.

Pamela Anderson, mostly real.

People do however seem unforgiving of fake boobs which, even if advertised as fake (which really should make them faux), seem forever doomed to be called fake.  The preferred form seem to be "fake tits". 

Faux also blends well; there are fauxmosexuals & fauxtatoes.  Donald Trump dubbed Elizabeth Warren (b 1949; United States senator (Democrat) for Massachusetts since 2013) Pocahontas because of her claim to Native American ancestry which proved dubious but allies of her predecessor Scott Brown (b 1959; United States senator (Republican) for Massachusetts 2010–2013), referred to her as Fauxcahontas.  That was actually an incorrect use necessitated by the need of rhyme and word formation; technically she was a Fakecahontas but as a word it doesn’t work as well.  People anyway seemed to get the point: as a Native American, she was fake, bogus, phoney.

Christ with the Woman Taken in Adultery by Han van Meegeren (1889–1947) following Vermeer (1632-1675).

In May 1945, immediately after the liberation from Nazi occupation of the Netherlands, the authorities arrested Dutch national Han van Meegeren (1889–1947) and charged him with collaborating with the enemy, a capital crime.  Evidence had emerged that van Meegeren had during World War II sold Vermeer's Christ with the Woman Taken in Adultery to Hermann Göring (1893–1946; prominent Nazi 1922-1945, Reichsmarschall 1940-1945).  His defense was as novel as it was unexpected: He claimed the painting was not a Vermeer but rather a forgery by his own hand, pointing out that as he had traded the fake for over a hundred other Dutch paintings seized earlier by the Reich Marshal and he was thus a national hero rather than a Nazi collaborator.  With a practical demonstration of his skill, added to his admission of having forged five other fake "Vermeers" during the 1930s, as well as two "Pieter de Hoochs" all of which had shown up on European art markets since 1937, he convinced the court and was acquitted but was then, as he expected, charged with forgery for which he received a one year sentence, half the maximum available to the court.  He died in prison of heart failure, brought on by years of drug and alcohol abuse. 

His skills with brush and paint aside, Van Meegeren was able successfully to pass off his 1930s fakes as those of the seventeenth century painter of the Dutch baroque, Johannes Vermeer (1632–1675), because of the four years he spent meticulously testing the techniques by which as a new painting could be made to look centuries old.  The breakthrough was getting the oil-based paints thoroughly to harden, a process which naturally occurs over fifty-odd years.  His solution was to mix the pigments with the synthetic resin Bakelite, instead of oil.  For his canvas, he used a genuine but worthless seventeenth-century painting and removed as much of the picture as possible, scrubbing carefully with pumice and water, taking the utmost care not to lose the network of cracks, the existence of which would play a role in convincing many expert appraisers they were authentic Vermeers.  Once dry, he baked the canvas and rubbed a carefully concocted mix of ink and dust into the edges of the cracks, emulating the dirt which would, over centuries, accumulate.

Guilty as sin: Hermann Göring in the dock, Nuremberg, 1946.

Modern x-ray techniques and chemical analysis mean such tricks can no longer succeed but, at the time, so convincing were his fakes that no doubts were expressed and the dubious Christ with the Woman Taken in Adultery became Göring's most prized acquisition, quite something given the literally thousands of pieces of art he looted from Europe.  One of the Allied officers who interrogated Göring in Nuremberg prison prior to his trial (1945-1946) recorded that the expression on his face when told "his Vermeer" was a fake suggested that "...for the first time Göring realized there really was evil in this world".

2013 Mercedes-AMG G 63 6×6.

Aimed at the Middle East market and manufactured between 2013-2015, a run of one-hundred units was planned for the Mercedes-AMG G 63 6×6 and it was advertised on that basis, exclusivity part of the attraction.  Such was the demand that dealers prevailed on behalf of a few influential customers so some additional units were built but not many and within months, used models were selling for well above the US$550,000 (€379,000) list price.  That encouraged imitations.

2014 Brabus B63S.

The tuning house Brabus, noted for catering to the small but lucrative market of those who like the AMG cars but think they need more power, released the B63S, its 700 horsepower quite a chunk above the 536 offered by AMG.  Something imitative certainly but nobody calls the B63S a faux or a fake.  Being in some sense a manufacturer lends validity so what Brabus does can be imitative but what ends up as their part-number is not an imitation, let alone a fake.

2017 Mercedes-AMG G63 6×6 Conversion.

This was said to have been a “conversion” of a 2017 G63 by G Wagon Car Technology GmbH (Austria).  Very well done and said to have been completed with mostly factory part-numbers, most would regard it as a clone, replica or recreation.

1938 Mercedes-Benz G4 (W31).

The G63 6x6 may anyway have had its own hint of the imitative.  Although Mercedes-Benz prefers not too much to dwell on the details of its activities between 1933-1945, one of the remarkable vehicles it built during the era was the G4 (W31).  The factory developed three-axle cross-country vehicles for military use during the 1920s but after testing a number of the prototype G1s, the army declined to place an order, finding them too big, too expensive and too heavy for their intended purpose.  Adolf Hitler (1889-1945) however, as drawn to big, impressive machines as he was to huge, representational architecture, ordered them adopted as parade vehicles and the army soon acquired a fleet of the updated G4, used eventually not only on ceremonial occasions but also as staff and command vehicles, two even specially configured, one as a baggage car and the other a mobile communications centre, packed with radio-telephony.

Eventually, between 1934-1939, fifty-seven were built, originally exclusively for the OKW (Oberkommando der Wehrmacht (Armed Forces High Command)) and OKH (Oberkommando des Heeres (Army High Command)) but one was gift from Hitler to Generalissimo Franco (1892-1975; Caudillo of Spain 1939-1975).  The Spanish G4, one of few which still exists, was restored and remains in the royal garage in Madrid.  According to factory records, all were built with 5.0, 5.3 & 5.4 litre straight-eight engines but there is an unverified report of interview with Hitler’s long-time chauffeur, Erich Kempka (1910-1975), suggesting one for the Führer’s exclusive use was built with the 7.7 litre straight-eight used in the 770K Grosser (W07 (1930–1938) & W150 (1938–1943)).  Some of the 770s were supercharged so, if true, it's a tantalizing prospect but the story is widely thought apocryphal, no evidence of such a one-off ever having be sighted.

There are however fake cars and they're considered bogus if represented as a factory original (a modified version of something else).  Even if an exact copy of what the factory did, that’s fake yet exactly the same machine modified in the same way is instead a “clone” a “recreation” or a “replica” if represented as such.  Clone, recreation & replica do imply a exact copy but some leeway does seem to be granted given mechanical exactitude is sometimes simply not possible.  A vehicle which is substantially a replica of something but includes modifications to improve safety, performance or some other aspect of the dynamics is usually styled a “tribute” or restomod (a portmanteau word, the construct being resto(red) + mod(ified)).  The improvements can be transformative and, in certain cases, increase value but in others, might actually detract.  Whether a clone, a replica or a tribute, if what’s being referenced is something rare and desirable, the difference in value can be a factor of more than fifty times.  Originality can trump all.

1962 Ferrari 250 GTO recreation by Tempero of New Zealand.

As an extreme example there is the Ferrari 250 GTO, of which it’s usually accepted 36 were built although there were actually 41 (2 x (1961) prototypes; 32 x (1962–63) Series I 250 GTO; 3 x (1962–1963) “330 GTO”; 1 x (1963) 250 GTO with LM Berlinetta-style body & 3 x (1964) Series II 250 GTO).  The 36 in the hands of collectors command extraordinary prices, chassis 4153GT in June 2018 realizing US$70 million in a private sale whereas an immaculately crafted replica of a 1962 version by Tempero (New Zealand), said to be better built than any original GTO (although that is damning with faint praise, those who restore pre-modern Ferraris wryly noting that while the drive-trains were built with exquisite care, the assembly of the coachwork could be shoddy indeed), was listed for sale at US$1.3 million (no NFT required).  Even less exalted machinery, though actually more rare still, like the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Cuda convertible also illustrate the difference for there are now considerably more clones / replicas / recreations etc than ever there were originals and the price difference is typically a factor of ten or more.

Nurdle

Nurdle (pronounced nhur-dl)

(1) In cricket, to work the ball away gently, especially to the leg side, gently nudging the delivery into vacant spaces on the field; such a shot played.

(2) In conversation, gently to waffle or muse on a subject about which once obviously knows little.

(3) In manufacturing, a pre-production micro-plastic pellet about the size of a pea, the raw material used in the manufacture of plastic products.

(4) In marine ecology as plastic resin pellet pollution (PRPP); marine debris.

(5) The depiction of a wave-shaped blob of toothpaste sitting on a toothbrush.

(6) That which is squeezed from tube to toothbrush.

Circa 1968: In the context of cricket, it’s of unknown origin but presumably some sort of blend, influenced possibly by “nerd” & “nudge”, the meaning conveyed being a style of play that is cautious, unambitious and unexciting; the slow accumulation of a score; there’s been the suggestion of a link with “noodle” but it’s hard to see the connection and there's no documentary evidence.  The earliest known citation is a 1985 match report in The Times (London).  The small, cylindrical pellets, the raw material of the manufacturing processes of many plastic products, have been called nurdles since at least the 1970s, a reference from that time noted in the manuals supplied with an injection-molding machine.  The word is likely to have been coined either because of the physical similarity of the pellets to some types of noodle or as a variation of nodule (a small node or knot) and plastic nurdles have for decades been recdorded as a significant proportion of marine pollution.  As used to describe the toothbrush-length squirt of toothpaste as it sits atop the bristles, the origin is murky but may be linked to nodule.  There have been suggestions the use by the American Dental Association in the 1990s in a public-service advertising campaign about the correct technique for brushing may have been the coining but the word was used in toothpaste advertising as early as 1968 although the original spelling seems for some time to have been “nerdle”.

The Great Nurdle Affair

Previously little discussed in law, the nurdle received some brief attention when a trademark-infringement lawsuit (Colgate-Palmolive Co v. GlaxoSmithKline LLC, US District Court, Southern District of New York, No. 10-05728) was filed in July 2010 by GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), makers of Aquafresh “Triple Protection” toothpaste, against Procter & Gamble (P&G), owners of the Colgate “Triple Action” brand.  Almost immediately, P&G counter-sued in the same court with the retaliatory GlaxoSmithKline LLC v. Colgate-Palmolive, No. 10-05739.  One was seeking, inter alia, the exclusive right to depict a nurdle, the other claiming the image was so generic anyone enjoyed the right.

Aquafresh’s Triple Protection & Colgate’s Triple Action.

The disputes hinged on “triple” as a descriptor and “nurdle”, not as a word but as the image of a wave-shaped blob of toothpaste sitting atop the bristles on the head of a toothbrush.  GSK's core argument was that it held trademark registrations on both “triple protection” and a red, white & blue-striped nurdle.  P&G argued “triple protection” was weak and that a nurdle is inherently merely descriptive because it is but a literal image of the product.  What the court had to decide was whether a reasonable consumer, on seeing the nurdle and “triple action” text description on packages of Colgate toothpaste, could be sufficiently misled to believe what they were looking at was sourced, sponsored or endorsed by GSK which used both on their Aguafresh brand.

GSK’s nurdle.

In a filing of some eighty pages, P&G noted its recent release in the US of a toothpaste with packaging which superimposes the words “Triple Action” (the implication being (1) cavity protection, (2) fresh breath & (3), whiter teeth) atop a blue, white and green nurdle.  In response, GSK, which uses the “Triple Protection” phrase on its Aquafresh products, filed a trademark application for the "nurdle design" regardless of color; this induced P&G to sue to enforce its rights to use the nurdle.  P&G further noted GSK did not file their application until after they had already complained about P&G’s nurdle design and suggested GSK was using the process to stifle competition by asserting an excessively broad scope for trademark rights.

P&G’s nurdles, registered by Colgate as trademarks. 

GSK’s filing was only half the length and accused P&G of adopting various nurdle designs and the “Triple Action” mark in an effort to “trade off the commercial magnetism” of GSK own packaging which had since 1987 included a distinctive red, white and blue nurdle, an argument which implied elements of both usurpation and ambush marketing.  P&G asked the court to declare its “Triple Action” phrase and interpretation of the nurdle not confusingly similar to GSK’s own “Triple Protection” phrase and nurdle which used distinctively different colors.  It sought also have the court (1) cancel GSK’s “Triple Protection” and nurdle trademark registrations and (2), deny such injunctive relief that would have prevented P&G from using any nurdle design and a phrase containing “triple”.  Damages were sought on several grounds including punitive damages.  It was a case of some commercial significance given GSK had deployed the nurdle as a cartoon character in a marketing campaign aimed at children, the idea being that if children pestered their parents enough to buy Aquafresh for them, it was likely they’d gain the whole family as a conquest.  The nurdle campaign ran on Nurdle World in the US and The Nurdle Shmurdle in the UK.

Post settlement: Colgate Triple Action with a visually different nurdle.

Late in 2011, the parties announced a notice of settlement had been filed in the court; a confidential settlement had been negotiated.  The details have never been made public but a review of supermarket shelves suggests (1) the red, white & blue GSK nurdle is acknowledged to be propriety, (2) a nurdle nevertheless remains generic and can be depicted as long as it is sufficiently distinguished from GSK’s 1987 original and (3) things claiming to be of or pertaining to happening in threes may be described as “triple” whatever but, in the context of toothpaste, “triple protection” is a GSK trademark.  P&G could thus display a nurdle, just not GSK’s nurdle.  So, as a private settlement, there’s no change to established law but those inhabiting that grey space between ambush marketing and actual deceptive and misleading conduct no doubt took note.  A judge might anyway find the outcome in accordance with the operation of trademark law: a trademarked image as specific as the GSK nurdle is entitled to protection but, as a general principle, a word as notoriously common as “triple” is the property of the commons available to all.

In Germany, between the 1920s and the end of World War II (1939-1945), nurdles could be radio-active, toothpaste sold with trace amounts for thorium obtained from monazite sands, the promotional material of which read: “Increases the defenses of teeth and gums” & “Gently polishes the dental enamel, so it turns white and shiny”.  Although known since at least the mid-1920s, it was only in the aftermath of the A-bomb attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki (1945) that the adverse effects of ionizing radiation in high or sustained does became widely recognized, rendering radio-active toothpaste an undesirable product in the minds of mothers everywhere.  Although radio-active toothpaste sounds evil, the Nazis can't be blamed for it being on the shelves, its debut dating from the Weimar Republic (1918-1933).  

Save Paste structural concept for toothpaste packaging.

From the days when folk made their own toothpaste by mixing water, salt and the soot from chimneys, toothpaste has become one of the sometimes unacknowledged markers of civilized life.  The packaging though has been little changed since 1889 when Johnson & Johnson introduced their range in collapsible metal tubes.  The switch from metal to plastic happened over decades, necessitated initially by wartime shortages but by the 1990s, tubes were almost universally plastic.  Despite that, the fundamental design remained unchanged and was often inherently inefficient, supplied in a cardboard box, much of the internal capacity of which was unused because of the shape of the tube.  The design added cost and induced adverse environmental outcomes because (1) the box was unnecessary and immediately discarded and (2), the surplus volume added to the costs of storage and transportation.  One interesting suggestion has been the trapezoidal package.

By using a single cardboard container as both collapsible container and display packaging, it eliminates the need for a separate box.  Also, if designed with the correct geometry, multiple trapezoidal containers can more efficiently be packed for transportation and storage, thereby reducing the energy expended.  This simple trick of packaging. if extended to all products sold in tubes should result in a significant reduction in energy consumption (road, rail and air transport) and therefore in greenhouse emissions.  Additionally, the carboard is more easily recycled than plastic. 

One thing toothpaste manufacturers seem never anxious to discuss is the opinion of many experts that GSK’s classic nurdle, extending the length of the brush-head, is way too much and adults should instead use a nurdle no bigger than a pea.  Restraint when squeezing out a nurdle for children should be even more severe because of the risk when young of swallowing too much toothpaste containing fluoride: it increases the risk dental fluorosis, a cosmetic condition that affects the appearance of the teeth, ranging from brown and light discoloration to darker strains and even pitting.  On a very young child’s brush, rather than a plump nurdle, the toothpaste should just be a smear although they can use an adult's pea-sized nurdle after the age of three.  The British Dental Association summarize best practice by recommending (1) the correct amount of toothpaste for most people to use is a pea size, (2) brush at least twice daily, with a fluoridated toothpaste, brush last thing at night and at least on one other occasion; if possible brush after every meal, (3) use a fluoridated toothpaste (1,350–1,500 ppm fluoride) and (4), spit out after brushing and do not rinse (this maintains the fluoride concentration level).

Lindsay Lohan on the set of HBO's Eastbound & Down (2013), brushing teeth while smoking.  It's an unusual combination but might work OK if one smokes a menthol cigarette and uses a nurdle of mint toothpaste.  Other combinations might clash.