Response

Response (pronounced ri-spons (U) or ree-spons (non-U))

(1) The act of responding; a reply or reaction; a reaction to a stimulus or provocation.

(2) In the card game bridge, a bid based on an evaluation of one's hand relative to the previous bid of one's partner.

(3) In liturgical use in Christianity, a word, phrase or short sentence recited or sung by the choir or congregation in reply to the priest or officiant at a church service (usually in the plural and used (loosely) also of any versicle or anthem said or sung during or after a lection).

(4) In electronics the ratio of the output to the input level, at a particular frequency, of a transmission line or electrical device.

(5) In pathology, any pattern of glandular, muscular, or electrical reactions induced by stimulation of the nervous system.

(6) In biology, any behavior of a living organism that results from an external or internal stimulus.

(7) In engineering, the reaction of a mechanical device to changes in energy input.

(8) In legal proceedings (and other forms), reply to an objection.

(9) In the calculation of online advertising performance metrics, a measure representing one click-through from an online ad to its destination URL.

1250–1300: From the Latin respōnsum (answer), noun use of the neuter past participle of respondēre (to reply, respond, answer, the construct being re- (in the sense of “again”) + spondere (to pledge), nominal use of the neuter form of respōnsus, the perfect passive participle of respondeō, the construct being from re- + spondeō (promise).  It replaced the Middle English respounse & respons, from the Middle French respons, from the Old French respons, respuns & response (which endures in Modern French as réponse), from the same Latin source.  Response, responsion, responsure & responsiveness are nouns, responsal, responsory & responsorial are nouns & adjectives, responsive is an adjective and responsively is an adverb; the noun plural is resposes.

Depending on context, a response might also be called a feedback, reply or return and in science, medicine and engineering, derived forms such as responseless, counter-response, allergic response, autonomous response, host response etc are coined as required.  In law enforcement and military use, the coinings include armed response, artillery response, naval response etc.  The adjective responsive was an early fifteenth century form meaning “making answer, responding” and was from the Old French responsif and directly from Late Latin responsivus (answering), from the Classical Latin respons-, past-participle stem of respondere.  The use in the sense of “responding readily to influence or action, able or inclined to respond” was documented first in 1762, the adverb responsively & noun responsiveness both appearing within a decade.  In Christianity, the use to mean “a part of the liturgy said or sung by the congregation in reply to the priest” dates from the 1650s.  The transferred sense (adopted in literature, poetry and psychology) of feelings or actions was part of the Romantic movement early in the nineteenth century.  One of the best known “responses” was the adjectival “Pavlovian Response” which dates from 1911 and came from the experimental work of Russian physiologist Ivan Petrovich Pavlov (1849-1936), the best known example of which was the conditioned salivary reflexes of dogs in response to the mental stimulus of the sound of a bell being associated with food.  The term “response time” seems first to have been used in the US in 1958 and was associated with the increasingly precise measurements needed as transistors replaced vacuum tubes in electronics.

Boris Yeltsin, who got a bit of fun out of life.

The phrase “diplomatic response” isn’t really part of the study of international relations.  It’s used in general discourse to describe ways of communicating that are polite, tactful and intended to ensure reasonable relationships are maintained and the self-help sections in bookshops often contain titles which include guides on the topic, their advice on the matter probably usually suggesting the salient points are (1) Politeness (using courteous language to show respect), (2) Neutrality (avoiding taking sides or making definitive statements that might be thought controversial), (3) Constructiveness (focusing on solutions and positive outcomes), (4), Empathy (acknowledging the other person's feelings or perspectives) and (5) Caution (being careful with word choice to avoid misunderstandings or offense).  In diplomacy proper, there are examples such as when Boris Yeltsin (1931–2007; President of Russia 1991-1999) announced he would decline a Japanese offer of help in dealing with a natural disaster because they might use it as leverage in territorial disputes, the Japanese Foreign Ministry responded by saying: “He must have been misquoted”.  Lindsay Lohan in 2017 followed the example when asked about comments made by Donald Trump in 2004 when he said she was: “probably deeply troubled and therefore great in bed. How come the deeply troubled women, you know, deeply, deeply troubled, they're always the best in bed?”  Her response was to say: “I wish him the best. We live in a world of societies that consistently find fault in people. I think it’s a really scary factor. Taking someone else down is never the answer, and I think we all know that.”  It’s not believed Mr Trump responded.

Responses of some who survived political assassination attempts

That photograph.

The compositional elements of the photograph destined to become one of the classics of US political history are so perfect it would have been assumed to be an AI (artificial intelligence) meme had the moment it captured not been witnessed by so many:  Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021, fist raised in defiance, his blood staining his face, being hustled to safety by his Secret Service detail after an assassin’s bullet was a fraction of an inch to the left; one zephyr during its 125 metre (410 feet) travel and Trump would likely be dead.  The image, taken by AP (Associated Press) photographer Evan Vucci (b 1977) was a an extraordinary piece of serendipity for the Trump campaign, being almost entirely of red, white & blue with the Stars & Stripes flying as a backdrop, the whole thing recalling the famous photograph by AP’s Joe Rosenthal (1911–2006) which captured US Marines planting the flag atop Mount Suribachi during the Battle of Iwo Jima.  Quite how the incident will affect the election campaign can’t be assumed but it’s unlikely to be detrimental to the Trump cause and the photograph will help, the strident defiance of the stance exactly what appeals to the base and probably attractive to not a few of the undecided, the contrast with the less dynamic Biden obviously striking.  As a response from someone who has just cheated death, his presence of mind in having the Secret Service delay his evacuation from the stage by a few seconds so he could provide AP their photo-opportunity will guarantee publicity the Republican Party couldn’t buy no matter how many millions they spent.

Senator Marco Rubio (b 1971; senator (Republican) for Florida since 2011 and the "little Marco" of Mr Trump's 2016 nomination campaign) was quick to tweet "God protected" Mr Trump which was noted by those running the betting markets for the 2024 running mate on the Republican ticket.  On his own Truth social platform, Mr Trump said much the same thing and previously, there have been those who made much of being saved from assassination by "providence" and it's not impossible Mr Trump is now persuaded it was indeed "divine intervention".  In the last decade, Mr Trump has done well by pretending to be religious to court the Christian vote: they knew he was lying and he knew that they knew he knew but such was the political symbiosis that all involved ignored the facts and focused on outcomes.  Now, he may start believing his own publicity.          

The footage was viewed world-wide within minutes and almost immediately questions were asked including (1) why was a line-of-shot available within 150 m (500 feet) of the target and (2) why were Secret Service agents allocated who were not even tall enough to reach his shoulder (they are as a last resort, human body armor).  The photograph was political gold for the campaign but it should never have been allowed to happen; Mr Trump should have been smothered with Secret Service bodies and immediately taken from the stage.  Some agreed the presence of the shooter was an obvious lapse but that what happened on stage followed protocol and there's never been any policy (or practice) of allocating agents on the basis of their height matching that of their charge.    

Portrait of Theodore Roosevelt (1903) by John Singer Sargent.

In October 1912, a man shot Theodore Roosevelt (TR, 1858–1919; US president 1901-1909) while he was on the campaign trail for that year’s presidential election.  What saved Roosevelt was the bullet having to pass through a metal spectacles case and, tellingly, a folded, 50 page copy of the speech he was about to deliver on behalf of his Progressive Party.  The enraged crowd were holding and threatening to lynch the shooter but Roosevelt intervened, ensuring he was handed to the safe custody of the Wisconsin police.  Roosevelt had spent much of his life hunting big game and, on the basis he was not coughing up blood, correctly concluded that bullet was lodged in his muscle and had not punctured the lung, the relative lack of external bleeding suggesting no vital artery or vein had been severed.  His response to what would have put most men into a state of shock was to proceed to the hall and deliver his speech as planned.  Lodged too precariously to extract, the bullet remained with him until, peacefully, he died in his sleep at Oyster Bay, New York.

Men in frock coats: The “Big Four” at the Paris Peace Conference (1919-1920), outside the Foreign Ministry headquarters, Quai d'Orsay, Paris.  Left to right: David Lloyd George (1863–1945; UK prime-minister 1916-1922), Vittorio Orlando (1860–1952; Italian prime minister 1917-1919), Georges Clemenceau (1841–1929; French prime minister 1906-1909 & 1917-1920) and Woodrow Wilson (1856–1924; US president 1913-1921).

Georges Clemenceau (1841–1929; Prime Minister of France 1906-1909 & 1917-1920) was a physician who turned to politics via journalism, a not unfamiliar trajectory for many; at a time of national crisis, he undertook his second term as premier, providing the country’s politics with the stiffness needed to endure what was by then World War I (1914-1918); he was nick-named le tigre (the tiger) in honor of his ferociously combative political demeanour.  In February 1919, while travelling from his apartment a meeting associated with the Paris Peace Conference (1919-1920), he was shot several times, his assailant an anarchist carpenter & joiner, Émile Cottin (1896-1937) and two decades on, another leader would learn carpenters can be assassins. Le tigre was lucky, the bullets missing his vital organs although one which passed through the ribcage ending up lodged close to his heart; too close to that vital organ to risk surgery, like Roosevelt, there it remained until his death (from unrelated causes) ten years later.  Cottin’s death sentence was later commuted to a ten year sentence and he would die in battle, serving with the anarchist Durruti Column during the early days of the Spanish Civil War.  The Tiger’s response to his survival was to observe: “We have just won the most terrible war in history, yet here is a Frenchman who misses his target six out of seven times at point-blank range.  Of course this fellow must be punished for the careless use of a dangerous weapon and for poor marksmanship. I suggest that he be locked up for eight years, with intensive training in a shooting gallery.”  In the circumstances, deploring the state of French marksmanship displayed a certain French sang froid.

Although the details of most at the time weren’t known, there were so many plots to kill Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) that books were written exploring the topic, the most comprehensive of which was Killing Hitler (b 2006) by British historian Roger Moorhouse (b 1968).  For a variety of reasons, none succeeded but the first to come close was in Munich in 1939 when a bomb (it would now be called an IED (improvised explosive device) was fabricated by German carpenter and joiner, Georg Elser (1903–1945) and secreted in a pillar directly behind where Hitler was scheduled to be standing while delivering to his old comrades one of his annual set-piece addresses.  However, on the night, because he wanted to return early to Berlin to resume planning his latest foreign policy adventure, he cut short his speech and the bomb detonated a quarter hour after he and his entourage had left; it killed eight and injured dozens.  Hitler’s response was to say his survival was “…proof to me that Providence wants me to reach my goal.”  Surprisingly, Herr Elser, apprehended almost by chance, wasn’t executed, the fate of many who had done much less, but until 1945 was a “privileged prisoner” in relatively pleasant conditions; Hitler, who for years clung to the idea the man must have had some connection with the British secret service, ordered him hanged only when it was obvious he’d be of no use as a hostage.

Hitler again thanked providence when he survived the most celebrated of the attempts, the bomb in July 1944 planted by an army colonel and timed to explode during a military conference.  Hitler on that occasion avoided death because (1) a table’s heavy socle deflected much of the blast, (2) only one of the planned two charged was primed and (3) the conference was moved from an enclosed underground bunker to a building on the surface with walls and windows which were “blown-out” in the explosion, dissipating much energy.  Those details were lost on the Führer who chose again to attribute this life being spared to “providence”.  One of those convince was the visiting Benito Mussolini (1883-1945; Duce (leader) & prime-minister of Italy 1922-1943), by then a much diminished puppet dictator of a puppet statelet sustained by the German military.  Dutifully the vassal Duce responded to Hitler: “Absolutely I agree with you, it’s a sign from providence”.  That decided, Hitler’s response to this “stab in the back” from his own army was savage, some 7000 rounded up, 5000-odd of which would be executed, the leading figures in the conspiracy dying in an especially gruesome manner, a event filmed although there are contradictory reports about whether it was something Hitler ever chose to view.  In the way of Nazi crack-downs, not all those executed were actually connected with this or any other plot, the security services using the operation as a pretext to dispose of those of one of their many lists of “undesirables”.

A prototype Humber Imperial fitted with a 273 cubic inch (4.5 litre) Chrysler LA V8.  By the mid 1960s the last versions of the Humber Super Snipe (1958-1967) were essentially mid-1950s US sedans being produced in England with interiors trimmed in real leather and walnut veneer, a phenomenon which was emblematic of a malaise afflicting much of the UK's motor industry.  The Imperial was an up-market, better-appointed Super-Snipe and after Chrysler took over Rootes Group (Humber's parent corporation), perhaps as many as six V8 prototypes were built but the advantages gained were few and the project never proceeded to series production.  When Chrysler in 1967 took over Rootes Group (the corporation of which Humber was a part) the Super Snipe range was discontinued, replaced in the UK market by Australian-made Chrysler Valiants, chosen in preference to the US-built versions because they were available in RHD (right-hand drive) configuration and the Commonwealth Preference Scheme (a final relic of the chimera of imperial free trade) meant they attracted lower import tariffs.  Fitted with engines as large as a 360 cubic inch (5.9 litre) V8, the Valiants were very much a niche product in the UK market and never approached the sales volumes achieved by the big Humbers but they did remain available until 1976.      

Arthur Augustus Calwell (1896-1973; Australian Labor Party (ALP) leader of the opposition 1960-1967) was a rare Australian target of an attempted political assassination.  Two years after being knighted by Paul VI (1897-1978; pope 1963-1978) (his Pontifical Equestrian Order of St. Gregory the Great (KCSG) apparent unrelated to the attempt on his life), Calwell was sitting in the front passenger seat (it’s an Australian tradition) of his official car when 19 year-old student Peter Kocan (b 1947), at point blank range, fired a shell from a sawn-off rifle, aimed directly at his target.  In 1966, the Commonwealth’s car fleet still included their last intake of British-built cars and Calwell was sitting in a Series V Humber Super Snipe (1964-1967), an outdated machine but one which was stately & roomy and thus enjoyed by politicians who found their replacement, the lower Ford Galaxie, less comfortable, especially the ingress and egress.  Fortunately for Calwell, the side glass in the old-fashioned Humber was thick and instead of penetrating the pane, it shattered, absorbing most of the bullet’s energy; it was spent by the time it had travelled those few feet, lodging harmlessly in the lapel of the target’s jacket, Mr Calwell's injuries limited to some minor cuts from the broken glass.  Kocan was found guilty of attempted murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, sent initially to Sydney's Long Bay Gaol before being transferred to Morriset Psychiatric Hospital for the criminally insane.  There he studied literature and after his release became a prize winning poet and novelist, eventually graduating from the University of Newcastle with a BA (Hons) & MA.  Calwell’s response to the man who tried to kill him was to pay a visit to the hospital and, although a great hater in the ALP tradition, he was also a good Catholic, sending a letter of forgiveness.

Arthur Calwell leaving hospital in his Humber Super Snipe, the presence in numbers of the New South Wales (NSW) Police suggesting they were going to make sure nothing more happened to him before he returned to Victoria.  The police cars are locally assembled Rambler Classics and in Australia, various AMCs were in small volumes assembled and sold under the Rambler name until 1977.

In an example of how difficult it can be for security services to monitor and intercept those who plan to kill political figures, the motive of the man who in March 1981 shot Ronald Reagan (1911-2004; US president 1981-1989) was to impress an actress with whom he’d become obsessed.  That was something even less likely to attract the attention of the authorities than the earlier case when a botched attempt had been made by a member of Charles Manson’s (1934-2017) “Family” cult to assassinate Gerald Ford (1913–2006; US president 1974-1977).  Mr Reagan’s injury was life-threatening and was saved only by surgical intervention.  When greeted by the surgeons who were to perform the operation, his response was to tell them he hoped they “…were all Republicans”.  In an example of good bedside manner they assured him he was in safe political hands although one later confessed to being a lifelong Democrat.  When his wife arrived at the hospital, he delivered the line “Honey, I forgot to duck”, borrowed from boxer Jack Dempsey (1895–1983) who said it to Mrs Dempsey on the night he'd lost a bout to Gene Tunney (1897–1978).

Socle

Socle (pronounced sok-uhl or soh-kuhl)

(1) In architecture, a low, plain part forming a base for a column, pedestal, or the like; a plinth or pedestal.

(2) In architecture, A plain face or plinth at the foot of a wall.

(3) In furniture design, as applied to tables, a large, full-width support used as an alternative to table legs.

(4) In cooking, the use of bread, rice, potato or similar as a (sometimes only decorative) base onto which other ingredients are laid.

(5) In algebraic ring theory (a branch of abstract algebra that studies rings, which are algebraic structures that generalize the properties of integers) the sum of the minimal normal sub-modules of a given R-module of a given ring R.

(6) In group theory, the sub-group generated by the minimal normal subgroups of a given group.

1695–1705: From the French socle, from the Italian zoccolo (wooden shoe; base of a pedestal) from the Latin socculus (small shoe (literally "small sock" (soccus)).  Socle is a noun; the noun plural is socles.

The Valkyrie plot: 20 July 1944

The Valkyrie Plot was an attempt, one of many but one also of a handful actually brought to fruition, to kill Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945).  The conspirators were mostly Prussian aristocrats, senior army officers (a bit of overlap there) and a smattering of liberal politicians, all of whom ultimately demonstrated their ineptitude at staging a coup d'état but, on 20 July 1944, they did succeed in detonating an explosive device they had smuggled into the Wolfsschanze (the Wolf’s Lair, one of the Führer's heavily guarded military headquarters on the Eastern Front).  Previous opportunities to use a bomb for this purpose had been aborted because the conspirators had wanted as many leading Nazis as possible also killed and those circumstances never arose but after the Allies successfully established a beachhead in Normandy (the 6 June 1944 D-Day landings), it was decided to delay no longer.  The bomb used at the Wolf's Lair was actually of British origin, obtained by the Abwehr (literally "resistance" or "defence" but in a military context used by Germans to mean "counterintelligence"), the military-intelligence service for the Reichswehr & Wehrmacht between 1920-1945 (ironically it was for most of the war one of the centres of anti-Nazi activities) and chosen because its fuse operated with complete silence device.  Ultimately the blast four, seriously injuring another thirteen but Hitler survived for three reasons (although he would claim it was "providence").

(1) Hot, sultry weather.  The plan was for the assassination to be carried out by planting explosives in an underground bunker built with reinforced concrete which had just one steel door and no windows.  Designed to be bomb-proof in that it was built expressly to protect occupants from the energy of outside explosions, in an inside explosion, the occupants would be hit by several blast waves as a consequence of the resonant conditions of high-energy fluid dynamics; ideal conditions to stage an explosion with lethal intent.  However, with unpleasantly high temperature and humidity on the day, the meeting was moved to an above-ground building with several windows which offered ventilation to provide relief.  Thus, when the device exploded, both energy from the blast wave and shrapnel, instead of being contained and ricocheting around the room, dissipated partially outside.

(2) The furniture: The table under which the bomb was planted was supported by two stout, heavy socles rather than legs.  This wouldn’t have been critical except that minutes before detonation, the briefcase containing the device was moved from one side of the socle to the other so that the heavy timber stood between Hitler and the bomb, the structure now at the perfect angle to absorb much of the blast before it reached him.  Had the briefcase been left in its original position, the socle which ultimately absorbed or re-directed much of the energy would instead have increased the lethality of the energy directed towards Hitler. 

(3) Bad luck: Because of circumstances on the day, the plotters were able to arm only one of the two bombs they had intended to use.  Had both been detonated, in either room, the blast would have been much greater although opinion remains divided over whether even this would have been enough to guarantee Hitler’s death.  As it was, he escaped with non-life threatening injuries (curiously for some time after the blast, the shaking of his limbs (symptoms which may have indicated Parkinson's Disease) vanished) and was well enough to conduct social activities the same afternoon (after changing his trousers which had been shredded by the blast), meeting with the by now much diminished Duce (Benito Mussolini,1883-1945; Duce (leader) & prime-minister of Italy 1922-1943).  After that, they would never meet again.  

Aftermath: The Führer shows the Duce the effects of the blast, telling him he'd been saved "by providence".  Mussolini agreed with Hitler but of course, he always said he did, even when suffering his not infrequent doubts.

The popular television show Mythbusters, run by past masters at blowing-up stuff, did test whether the blast, if using both devices instead of one, would have killed Hitler in either the above-ground conference room or the sealed, underground bunker.  Their tests were conducted using full-scale emulations of both the conference room in which the attack took place and the the underground bunker from which the meeting had been moved.  In both, the intended explosive power was deployed rather than that generated by the single device used on the day.  Explosives experts who examined the data tended to agree that while not definitive, it was plausible Hitler could have survived even a more powerful blast in the conference room but that everything was still dependent on the placement of the briefcase.  However, because the second test didn't exactly replicate the sealed, underground bunker (the test structure was only partially buried) with its walls of think, reinforced concrete, the experts were less convinced by the Mythbusters' conclusion that too would have been survivable.  They further noted the significance of the socle in deflecting the blast, this something which happened only by chance on the day and all agreed that had the bomb been placed close to Hitler, as intended, the blast in either room probably would have killed or severely injured him.

Tables with soles (for prosecution and defence counsel), Lindsay Lohan in court, Los Angeles, January 2013. 

Ass & Arse

Arse (pronounced ahrs)

(1) One of many slang terms for the human buttocks (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(2) By extension, one of many slang terms applied to the rear or back-end of anything, animal, vegetable or mineral (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(3) In Australian slang, effrontery; cheek.

(4) In slang, a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person, a use sometimes enlivened as “arsehole” (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(5) A person; the self; (reflexively) oneself or one's person, chiefly their body and by extension, one's personal safety, or figuratively one's job, prospects etc (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(6) In biochemistry, as ARSE, the abbreviation of arylsulfatase E (an enzyme, deficiencies in which are associated with abnormalities in cartilage and bone development).

Pre 1000: From the Middle English ars, eres & ers, from the Old English ærs & ears, from the Proto-West Germanic ars, from the Proto-Germanic arsaz and cognate with the Old Frisian ers, the Dutch aars, the Old Norse, Middle Low German, Old Saxon & Old High German ars (from which modern German gained Arsch), the Greek órrhos (rump (from orso-, used frequently in compounds)), the Armenian or̄kh and the Hittite arras.  All of the nouns derive ultimately probably from the primitive Indo-European h₃érsos- (backside, buttocks, tail), the source also of the Ancient Greek ourá & orros (tail, rump, base of the spine), the Hittite arrash and the Old Irish err (tail).  In the hierarchy of vulgarity, arse had an interesting history, beginning as something purely descriptive but, because of the association with the buttocks and their functions (with all that that implies), the word soon became a vulgar form, avoided in polite conversation.  That restraint lingered well into the twentieth century but even though things are now more relaxed, a careless use of arse in the wrong time and place, in the wrong company, can still cause offence.  The Latin arse was the vocative masculine singular of arsus, the perfect passive participle of ārdeō which was used with a variety of senses (1) to burn (to be consumed by fire), (2) Of eyes which glow or sparkle, (3) in poetic use, to glisten with a feature, usually with a colour, (4) figuratively, “to burn, be strongly affected with an emotion, (5), figuratively, “to be eager” & (6) figuratively, ardently or fervently to be in love, to burn with lustful or romantic desire.  Arse is a noun & verb; arsing is a verb and arsed is a verb & adjective; the noun plural is arses.

One should avoid losing one's ticket.

There can have been few words as productive as arse in the construction of slang and idiomatic forms, some of which survived while some died out.  To “hang the arse” (slow, reluctant; tardy) was from the 1630s while the more graphic (and in some cases presumably literal) “arse-winning” referred to income gained from prostitution "money obtained by prostitution" was in Middle English in the late fourteenth century.  The familiar “arse over tit” (to fall down; to fall over) is actually an alternative form of the original “arse over tip” which was first recorded in 1884 although it had probably long been in oral use.  Arseward was a synonym of backward in the fourteenth century while the mysterious arsy-versy (backside foremost) dates from the 1530s and was probably a reduplication of arse, perhaps with suggestions of “going backwards; in reverse”.  Arsehole can of course be literal (referencing the anus) and the late fourteenth century was spelled arce-hoole, an inheritance from the Old English in which the Latin anus was glossed with earsðerl (literally "arse-thrill" with the noun thrill used in its original sense of "hole".  Asshole (a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person) is also a frequently used term of abuse.  One long-serving Australian foreign minister, early in his undistinguished term was overheard referring to poor nations as “BACs” (busted arse countries) and while he never apologized, did sit smirking in parliament while the prime-minister assured the house he’d been assured it wouldn’t happen again (presumably the leak rather than the comment).  A smart-arse (a person thought flippant or insolent, usually with a tendency to make snide remarks) should not be confused with an arse-smart (also ars-smart), the herb Persicaria hydropiper (formerly Polygonum hydropiper), named in the early fourteenth century, the construct being arse + smart (in the sense of “pain”).  The herb was also at the time once culrage and since the late eighteenth century has been known as smartweed.  Arse smart was a direct translation of the Old French cul rage, the construct being the Old French cul + rage which some sources suggest is from the Latin rabies (from rabiō (to rage)) but evidence is lacking and the French word may have been a folk etymology.

In German "My ass!" is spelled "Mein Arsch!".

The list of arse-based phrases (some of which began in the US as “ass” slang) is long and perhaps impossible wholly to compile but some of the other more frequently used forms are (1) arseage or pure arse (good and usually undeserved luck), (2) arse licker (sycophancy, also expressed as suck arse or kiss arse), sometime used in conjunction with (3) arse-kicker (stern superior) in the phrase (4) “kisses up, kicks down” which refers to those obsequious towards superior and officious to subordinates, (5) light up someone’s arse (provide encouragement in a strident or violent manner) which Dr Joseph Goebbels (1897-1975; Nazi propaganda minister 1933-1945) used in typically imaginative manner, telling his staff just after the failure of the July 1944 plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945), “It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see reason”, (6) arse about (and arse around) which can mean either “the wrong way around” or “behaving frivolously, wasting time”, (7) half-arsed (something done badly or improperly), (8) fat arse (someone overweight), (9) dumb arse (someone considered not intelligent or an act thought most unwise), (10) cover one's arse (to take such action as one considers necessary to avoid later blame or censure (this one definitely borrowed from the US)), (11) to break one’s arse (working hard), (12) arse in a sling (an unfortunate state in one’s personal affairs, especially if the consequence of one’s own mistakes or ill-considered actions), (13) pain in the arse (someone or something troublesome or really annoying (pain in the neck the polite alternative)), (14) kick in the arse (a form of encouragement, a punishment or combination of the two), (15) bet your arse (an expression of certainty), (16) pulled it out of one’s arse (an admission of luck), the companion phrase being (17) can’t just pull it out of one’s arse (introducing a sense of reality to a conversation), (18) stick it up (your) arse (declining an offer, invitation or suggestion) and (19) can't be arsed (can’t be bothered).

Gratuitous objectification of the callipygian: One dozen pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s ass.

Ass (pronounced ass or ahrs)

(1) Ass is a noun and the adjectival form is ass-like (assesque a bit clumsy); the noun plural is asses.  adjective: asinine

(2) Either of two perissodactyl mammals of the horse family (Equidae), Equus asinus (African wild ass) or E. hemionus (Asiatic wild ass).  They are long-eared, slow, placid, sure-footed and easily domesticated, thus long used as a beast of burden.

(3) An alternative spelling of arse (buttocks or anus) and the standard form in the US and much of Canada.

(4) A stupid, foolish, absurdly pompous or stubborn person (although when seeking to suggest stubborn, “mule” was historically the more usual form).

(5) Someone with whom sexual intercourse is desired, contemplated or achieved and in those contexts can be used also to express admiration (nice piece of ass).

Pre-1000:  From the Middle English asse, from the Old English assa, probably a pet name or diminutive form based on a Celtic form such as the Old Irish asan or the Old Welsh asen, from the Latin asinus and akin to the Greek ónos (the donkey-like ass), from a non-Indo-European language of Asia Minor, possibly the Sumerian anše (ass).  The use as an alternative spelling of arse dates from the 1860s in the US and may be related to the increase in the mixing of linguistic traditions during the Civil War.

Tree humor.

Arse thus is the British slang word referring to (1) the human or animal posterior, or (2) a stupid person.  Ass is the American equivalent and is used also as the name of the beast of burden so like “check”, in US English there is potential for confusion whereas in British & Commonwealth use, the ass/arse & cheque/check distinction avoids this although, given the differences in definition, ass is less prone than check.  Some style guides and the more helpful dictionaries caution that ass in the US is less acceptable that arse has become in the commonwealth and when speaking of the beast, donkey or mule is often used, even when zoologically dubious.  Still, the word is useful and on Reddit there’s the subreddit AITA ("Am I the asshole"), which is the clearing house for enquiries where those involved in disputes can seek views on whether they are in the wrong.

Dick Assman (Assman the Gasman), Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, 1995.

Dick Assman (1934-2016) was a Canadian gas (petrol) station employee who gained his fifteen minutes (actually several months) of fame by virtue of his name which came to the attention of US talk-show host David Letterman (b 1947).  Seeing the comedic potential, Letterman in mid-1995 added a nightly segment called Assman the Gasman which lasted a few weeks but it generated for Mr Assman so much name-recognition, that it led to opportunities such as judging beauty contests.  The names Assman & Assmann are of fourteenth century German origin and are thought variations of Erasmus from the Ancient Greek erasmos (loved).  It was originally a personal name which evolved into a surname as the conventions of family names evolved in the post-feudal period.  Mr Assman enjoyed the celebrity ride but did note the name correctly is pronounced oss-man.

Mercedes-Benz 450 SEL (W116, 1972-1980).

This example of the factory’s once (mostly) logical naming convention deconstructs as 450 (referencing a 4.5 litre (276 cubic inch) version of the M117 (1971-1991) V8 + S (Sonderklasse (Special Class)) + E (Einspritzung (injection, referencing the use of fuel-injection)) + L (Lang (long, referencing the additional 100 mm (4 inches) added to the wheelbase of the LWB (long wheelbase) models).  Strictly speaking (and Germans are inclined to be strict), the LWB versions (280 SEL, 350 SEL, 450 SEL & 450 SEL 6.9) of the W116 officially were designated “V116”, the “W” standing for Wagen (car) and the “V” for verlängert (extended).  In practice, other than in the factory’s documentation the V116 designation was rarely used.  The W116 was in just about every way a better car than the model it replaced (W108/W109, 1965-1972) but collectors prefer the earlier versions because of the period charm and visual appeal.  Although the concept of the Mercedes-Benz Sonderklasse can be traced to the introduction of the 300 (W186 (1951-1957) & W189 (1957-1962)), the first official use of the term “S Class” was with the introduction of the W116 in 1972 and it was in a sense the first “modern” Mercedes-Benz with each subsequent S Class an evolution from the previous model.  When in the 1990s the order of the alpha-numerics was switched because model proliferation had rendered the traditional form unsuitable, the "S Class" designation was joined by "C Class", "E Class" etc.  

All US states allow personalized or vanity licence plates although the stipulations (alpha-numeric mix, number of characters) do vary.  Illinois Secret of State Alexi Giannoulias (b 1976) says those in his state seem to “enjoy spotting clever and funny license plates on the road” but that while “Illinoians are known for displaying customized license plates, they have to meet standards of good taste and decency.”  In a typical year, some 60,000 requests for personalized plates are processed by the office of the Secretary of State and in 2024 335 requests were denied because they “included lecherous language or sneaky swearing”.  Each time a combination of letters is rejected, it’s added to the DMV’s database of “banned plates”.  In maintaining this list of “proscribed plates”, the secretary of state's office operates something like the way the Vatican used to handle the matter of blacklisted publications.  Between 1560-1966 the Index Librorum Prohibitorum (Index of Forbidden Books) was an ever-evolving list of written works declared by the now defunct Sacred Congregation of the Index to be blasphemous, heretical or contrary to morality.  All Roman Catholics were forbidden to own, print, distribute, sell or read any work in the index.  Officially, as the ripples of the Second Vatican Council (Vatican II, 1962-1965) washed through the Vatican’s corridors, the index was abolished when in 1966 the Inquisition (by then known as the Holy Office) was re-constituted as Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith but it’s not known if the list of the proscribed continues in secret to be maintained, possibly by some department of the Holy See, the existence of which is not even acknowledged.  For administrative purposes, Illinois distinguishes between a “vanity plate” (up to 3 numerals or up to 7 letters) and a “personalized plate” which can have an alpha-numeric mix (all plates have a 7 character limit and if alpha-numeric, there must be a space between letters & numbers).  A vanity plate costs US$94 upon issue and US$13 annually thereafter while personalized are charged at US $47 & US $7 respectively.

Bismarck class Schlachtschiff (battleship) KMS Tirpitz. 

Vice Admiral Kurt Assmann (1883-1962) had a career at sea before in 1933 being appointed head of the historical section of the Kriegsmarine (German Navy), a division which later became part of Oberkommando der Marine (OKM; the naval high command)).  The books he published in the post-war years are a valuable source of facts and a helpful chronology but much of his analysis about political and naval strategy was criticized on both sides of the Iron Curtain.  His nephew was naval Captain Heinz Assmann (1904—1954) who for a time served on the Bismarck-class battleship KMS Tirpitz and was later attached to Oberkommando der Wehrmacht (OKW; the armed forces high command).  His notable contribution to history was being in the conference room on 20 July 1944 when the bomb (which, as Dr Goebbels put it, originally was placed close to "under Hitler's ass" before being moved to the other side of the table's sturdy socle which meant the force of the blast was directed away from him) intended to kill Hitler exploded.  After recovering from his injuries, he returned to his duties at OKW and was attached to the Flensburg staff of Grand Admiral Karl Dönitz (1891–1980; head of the German Navy 1943-1945, German head of state 1945) when the latter was named in Hitler’s political testament as his successor as head of state, his curious "twilight zone coda" government lasting three weeks.  Captain Assmann subsequently was interviewed by allied investigators seeking fully to understand the chain of events of on the day of the assassination attempt.  Between 1953-1954, he served as a member of the Hamburg Parliament.

The original McDonalds Yass billboard (left) may not have been well designed but as a piece of “brand awareness” it succeeded like no other sign in Australia, images of it widely circulated and appearing often in memes.  When the Yass outlet became a 24/7 operation, the sign was re-designed (centre) to use an initial capital for “Yass” and increasing the distance between the corporate “M” (the so-called “golden arches”) and the town’s name.  That was however too subtle and Australians still got the joke; the memes continued.  Why the problem wasn’t solved by shifting the “M” to right (digitally altered image, right) isn’t known but it may be such a placement would have violated corporate guidelines.

Yass (population 6,763 (2021 census)) is a town in the Australian state of New South Wales (NSW); it sits some 174 miles (280 km) south-west of Sydney and is 37 miles (59 km) from Canberra, the national capital.  The name is believed derived from a word (either Yarrh or Yharr) in the language of the local Ngunawal people meaning “running water”.  Lady Bird Johnson (1912–2007; First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) 1963-1969) thought the proliferation of roadside billboards an intrusive ugliness and championed the Highway Beautification Act (HBA, 1965) which was intended to control billboards, junkyards, and other unsightly features along federally funded highways while encouraging landscaping and scenic enhancement.  In the way things are done in the US (such things “hammered out” in the Congress in a cocktail of lobbying and campaign donations), over the decades the HBA was “watered down” and its provisions became interpreted with some generosity but, as amended, it remains in effect and without it, there would likely be even more roadside clutter.  The act certainly was effective in screening junkyards visible from highways but despite that, Mrs Johnson on many occasions expressed her disappointment the law did not realise its original intent.  What can be certain is if old Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; US president (POTUS) 1963-1969) had ever seen the Yass McDonalds sign, he’d have had a good chuckle.

The ass in thought crime

Thou shalt not covet is one of the biblical Ten Commandments (or Decalogue), regarded by most scholars as moral imperatives.  Both Exodus and Deuteronomy describe the commandments as having been spoken by God, inscribed on two stone tablets by the finger of God, and, after Moses shattered the originals, rewritten by God on others.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ass, or anything that belongs to thy neighbor.

Thy neighbor's ass (pronounced ass).

It differs from the other nine in that while they’re concerned with the actions of sinners, the prohibition on being a coveter is about a sinner's thoughts and thus, an early description of thoughtcrime (a word coined by George Orwell (1903-1950) for his dystopian 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four).  Indeed Matthew (5:28) anticipates Orwell in saying it’s not enough merely to obey the commandment “thou shalt not commit adultery” because “…I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (King James Version (KJV, 1611)).  Jimmy Carter (1924-2024; US President 1977-1981) quoted this in his Playboy interview, a statement of presidential probity neither shared nor always adhered to by all his successors and predecessors.  In that context, it should be remembered there's an (unwritten) eleventh commandment: "Thou shall not get caught".