Pineapple

Pineapple (pronounced pahy-nap-uhl)

(1) The edible, juicy, collective fruit of a tropical, bromeliaceous plant (Ananas comosus), native to South America, consisting of an inflorescence clustered around a fleshy axis and surmounted by a tuft of leaves; the flesh is juicy, sweet and usually yellow.

(2) The plant itself, having a short stem and rigid, spiny-margined, recurved leaves, the flesh housing ovoid in shape.

(3) In military slang, a fragmentation hand grenade (originally applied to those devices with a resemblance to the fruit, later applied more loosely).

(4) In slang, the Australian fifty dollar (Aus$50) note (dated and probably archaic).

(5) A web burrfish (Chilomycterus antillarum (or Chilomycterus geometricus)).

(6) In commercial paint production, a light yellow colour, reminiscent of the flesh of a pineapple (also called pineapple yellow on color charts).

(7) A hairstyle consisting of (1) a ponytail worn on top of the head, imitating the leaves of a pineapple or (2) the whole hair gathered and assembled at the top, there to sit like the leaves of a pineapple.

1350-1400: From the Middle English pinappel (pine cone (literally “pine apple” or “pine fruit”)), the conifer cone (strobilus (plural: strobili)), the seed-bearing organ of gymnosperm plants so named as a jocular comparison with fruit trees).  After being introduced to Europe, the fruit of the pineapple plant picked up the name because of the resemblance to pinecones, this use noted from the 1660s (pine cone adopted in the 1690s to replace pineapple in its original sense except in so regional dialects.  Elsewhere, the forms included the Middle Dutch and Dutch pijnappel, the Middle Low German pinappel, the Old High German pīnapful, the Middle High German pīnaphel, and the early Modern German pinapfel (all developed from the same notion of the “pine cone”.  Related too were the post-Classical Latin pomum pini, the Old French pume de pin, the Middle French and French pomme de pin and the Spanish piña.  To describe the pine-cone, Old English also used pinhnyte (pine nut) and pine-apple appears in some late fourteenth century biblical translations for “pomegranate”.  Pineapple is a noun; the noun plural is pineapples.

Ashley Ferh's Pineapple Crisp

Pineapple Crisp is made with chunks of fresh pineapple, topped with a brown sugar streusel baked until golden.  It is served usually with vanilla ice cream or thickened cream.  The classic recipe uses only pineapple but variations are possible, most adding either mango or orange although where a contrast in taste is desired, it nan be made as pineapple & rhubarb crisp.  Preparation time is 15 minutes; cooking time 45 minutes and as described in this recipe, it will serve six.

Ingredients

4 cups chopped fresh pineapple about one average pineapple

2 tablespoons plus ½ cup brown sugar

1 tablespoon corn starch

1/2 cup cold butter cubed

1 cup large oats

1/2 cup whole wheat flour for Gluten-Free: gluten-free all purpose flour or ground gluten-free oats

Instructions

(1) Preheat the oven to 350^o F (175^o C)

(2) Combine pineapple, 2 tablespoons brown sugar and corn starch. Place pineapple in an 8 x 8″ (200 x 200mm) baking pan, or in individual baking dishes if preferred.

(3) In a large bowl, combine butter, ½ cup brown sugar, oats and flour until combined.  The texture will be that of cookie dough (easily pressed and held together).  Crumble topping over the pineapple in baking dish and press down gently.

(4) Bake for 45 minutes or until bubbly around the edges and golden brown on top. Serve with vanilla ice cream or thickened cream as desired.

The pineapple hairstyle is distinctive and, once done, of low maintenance but the very wildness means it’s not suitable for all hair; those with perfectly straight hair will likely find it just too much trouble because while it can be done, it would demand a lot of product.  There are two variations, (1) a ponytail worn on top of the head, imitating the leaves of a pineapple (left) or (2) the whole hair gathered and assembled at the top, there to sit like the leaves of a pineapple (left).  The pineapple is ideal for those with curly hair and for others, is a less stylized, more naturalistic version of what hairdressers call “the spiky”.

The Mark II hand-grenade.

The military slang to describe hand grenades dates from World War I (1914-1918) and was coined because of the shape of the Mk II grenade (re-named Mk 2 in 1945 as the US military dropped all designations involving Roman numerals as part of the computerization project), a fragmentation-type anti-personnel hand grenade first issued to US armed forces in 1918.  In the Allied forces, it was standard issue anti-personnel device grenade until the end of World War II (1939-1945) and during the was replaced by the M26-series (M26/M61/M57), first used during the Korean War (1950-1953).  However, because supply contracts issued in 1944-1945 had envisaged the conflict with Japan lasting well into 1945, the production levels were such that the US stockpiles of the Mark 2 meant that the inventory wasn’t exhausted until late 1968, by which time the standard-issue item was the M33 series (M33/M67).  In the military way, the American slang was adopted by Japanese soldiers as パイナップル (painappuru).

Reasons to eat pineapple

A member of the bromeliad family, the pineapple is a genuine rarity in that it’s the only edible bromeliad which has survived into the modern era.  Traditionally, it’s eaten by cutting away the spiky casing, then slicing the flesh into bite-sized pieced but it’s actually a multiple fruit, one pineapple actually made up of dozens of individual flowerets that grow together to form the entire fruit.  Each scale on a pineapple is evidence of a separate flower and in a TikTok video which changed the life of some pineapple people, user Dillon Roberts showed how the flowerets can be pealed-off and eaten piece by pyramid-shaped piece, obviating any need to chop and slice.  Not all pineapples have a skim which permits the approach but for those which do, it’s most convenient.  Unlike many fruits, pineapples stop ripening the minute they are picked and no techniques of storage will make them further ripen and although there’s much obvious variation, color is relatively unimportant in assessing ripeness, pineapples needing to be chosen by smell; it the fragrance suggests something fresh, tropical and sweet, it will be a good fruit and, as a general principle, the more scales, the sweeter and juicier it will be.  For those who live in an accommodatingly tropical region, the top can be planted and in most cases it will grow.

Lindsay Lohan sleeping next to "pineapple" pillow, Zaya Nurai Island, Abu Dhabi, 2018.

Pineapple has always been prized because of the taste and texture but there are genuine health benefits and it has long be valued for easing the symptoms of indigestion, arthritis and sinusitis, the juice also offering an anthelmintic effect which helps rid the body of intestinal worms.  Pineapple is high in manganese, a mineral critical to bone development and connective tissue, a cup of fresh pineapple enough to provide some 75% of the recommended daily intake and it’s especially helpful to older adults, the bones of whom tend to become brittle.  The essential component of pineapple is bromelain, a proteolytic (literally breaks down protein”) enzyme known to be both an aid in the digestive process and an effective anti-inflammatory, a daily ingestion purported to relieve the joint pain associated with osteoarthritis.  In the Fourth Reich, bromelain is approved as a post-injury medication because of the documented reduction in swelling.  Fresh pineapple is also a good source in Vitamin which, combined with the effect of the bromelain, reduces mucous in the throat which is why it’s a common component in hospital food because it reduces the volume of mucous after sinus and throat surgery.

There is evidence to suggest pineapple consumption can assist with troublesome sinuses and for those who wish to experiment, pineapple is one of the safer fruits because it’s low-risk for allergies.  More speculative is a possible role in reducing a propensity towards blood-clotting which would make pineapple a useful dietary addition for frequent fliers or others at heightened risk from deep-vein thrombosis (DVT) but it may be that any increase in the consumption of fresh fruit and vegetables would show similar benefits.  Also unproven is the efficacy of the old folk remedy which suggests pineapple juice is helpful in countering the symptoms of morning sickness.  Of late, there’s also the suggestion the effect is heightened if the juice is taken with a handful of nuts but at this stage that seems a new folk remedy added to the old.  Still, as long as one’s stomach has no great sensitivity to the acidic nature of the fruit, most can take it in small doses without any problems and, because the fresh juice discourages the growth of plaque, it’s makes for a healthier mouth.

Fluff

Fluff (pronounced fluhf)

(1) Light, downy particles, as of cotton.

(2) A soft, light, downy mass.

(3) In slang, a cloth diaper (nappy).

(4) In slang (New England region in the US), marshmallow crème, thus the local delicacy the “fluffernutter” (a sandwich made with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff), once a favorite of children’s school lunches but now likely to attract “mother shaming” on Instagram.

(5) In LGBTQQIAAOP slang, the passive partner in a lesbian relationship, known also as a “ruffle”.

(6) In slang, (Australia, New Zealand, Canada), a fart.

(7) In the slang of pop-culture fandom, fan fiction which (in whole or in part) is “sweet and feel-good” in tone, usually involving romance.

(8) In the slang (UK) of the role-playing game community, a form of role-playing which is inconsequential and not related to the plot and used sometimes in the context of (but not limited to) filling time.

(9) In UK slang short change deliberately given by a railway clerk (keeping the money for themselves), an example of a “deliberate fluff” (obsolete).

(10) Figuratively, something of no consequence; insubstantial.

(11) Figuratively (of literature, political argument, philosophy etc), a slight work or one of dubious artistic or intellectual value; unscholarly (used also as a polite euphemism for “bullshit (BS)” which is less explicit than “cattle feces” (“cattle faeces in non-US English).

(12) An error (flub, lapse, blooper, blunder, boo-boo, defect, error, fault, faux pas, gaffe, lapse, mistake, slip, stumble, brain-fart, brain-explosion), especially an actor's memory lapse in the delivery of lines (often in the form “fluffed their lines”.

(13) A young woman (often as “a bit of fluff”), the implication being of her providing a brief, amusing diversion rather than one sought for a permanent relationship)

(14) To make into fluff; shake or puff out (feathers, hair etc) into a fluffy mass (often followed by up).

(15) To make a mistake.

(16) To become fluffy; move, float, or settle down like fluff.

1780s: From the earlier (or perhaps contemporary) floow (woolly substance, down, nap, lint (which appeared also as flough, flue & flew)), possibly from the West Flemish vluwe (an imitative modification of floow), of uncertain origin but which may be from the French velu (hairy, furry), from the Latin villūtus (having shaggy hair), from villus (shaggy hair, tuft of hair) and may be compared with the Old English flōh (that which is flown off, fragment, piece), linked to the later “flaw”.  Although undocumented, etymologists generally conclude the word may have been a blend of flue +‎ puff.  “Fluffy stuff” is a common phenomenon in the natural world and descriptors existed in many European languages including the possibly onomatopoeic Middle Dutch vloe, the dialectal English floose, flooze & fleeze (particles of wool or cotton; fluff; loose threads or fibres), the Danish fnug (down, fluff) and the Swedish fnugg (speck, flake).  Traces of the sound of the word “fluff” are found in other languages including the Japanese フワフワ (fuwafuwa) (lightly, softly), the Hungarian puha (soft, fluffy), the Polish puchaty (soft, fluffy) and the Romanian puf (down; peachfuzz; soft hair of some animals; powderpuff).  Fluff & fluffing are nouns & verbs, fluffed is a verb, fluffiness & fluffer are nouns, fluffless & flufflike are adjectives, fluffy is an adjective (and non-standard) noun and fluffily is an adverb; the noun plural is fluffs.

Fluffied: Lindsay Lohan in bikini embellished with faux fur, photo-shoot for the fifth anniversary of ODDA magazine, April 2017.

In idiomatic use there’s “fluff around” of “fluff about” (ineffectually to act or waste time”, “fluff off” (an affectionate form of “fuck off”), “fluff-ball” or “ball of fluff” (a fluffy kitten or puppy with the quality of “cuteness”), “bum fluff” or “belly-button fluff” (small particles the fabric of clothing which accumulates in body crevices), “fluffhead” (someone vague or confused (synonymous with “airhead”), “fluff up” (a polite version of “fuck up”).  The term “fluffy bunny” isn’t from lagomorphology (the scientific study of rabbits (small mammals in the family Leporidae)) although it may be assumed it’s often heard in pet shops.  Fluffy bunny (also as “fluff bunny” & “fluffbunny”) was an adaptable noun used to mean: (1) a synonym of chubby bunny (a competitive eating game in which contestants had to pronounce words or phrases (such as “Irish wristwatch”) while holding increasing numbers of marshmallows is their mouth), (2) in the strange world of quantum mechanics, quantum entanglement which in theory can occur in theory never arises because of other physics and (3) a derogatory descriptor of a casual, naive practitioner of Wicca (or other neo-pagan religion), especially one deemed to have only a superficial understanding.  The slang “bit of fluff” (young woman with who one is enjoying or planning a brief affair) was first recorded in 1903 while the use to describe marshmallow confection seems to date from at least 1920, noted in Massachusetts.  The verb in the sense of “to shake into a soft mass” was in use by 1875 (directly from the noun) while the meaning “make a mistake” dates from 1884 as theater slang to refer to acts who had forgotten their lines.  The adjective fluffy (containing or resembling fluff) came into use in the 1820s.

Watergate Fluff

Watergate fluff is one of the alternative terms for the dish “Watergate Salad”, the others including Green Fluff, Green Goddess, Fluff Salad and Funeral Salad, the last picked up reputedly because it was so often served at wakes.  It’s not clear how the culinary delight came to be called “Watergate Salad” although there’s no doubt the use was triggered by some association the Watergate scandal of the early 1970s which revolved around attempts by the administration of Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) to “cover up” the involvement of operatives connected to the White House with the break-in in June 1972 of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) headquarters in Washington DC’s Watergate Building.  Interestingly, although the scandal (in the public perception although the legal proceedings would last longer) ended in August 1974 when Nixon resigned, the first known use of the term “Watergate Salad” dates from 1975 although in September 1974, Maryland's Hagerstown Daily Mail had published the recipe for “Watergate Cake”, also a similarly green-tinted dessert made with pistachio pudding in the mix and sometimes the icing.

The dish however predates the term.  Some claim the Kraft Foods Corporation deserves credit (apparently as a proud boast rather than an admission of guilt) as the creator because in 1975 they published a recipe called “Pistachio Pineapple Delight” as part of a promotional campaign to support the release that year of their “Pistachio Pudding Mix” (something with a long tradition, a whipped cream and pineapple concoction detailed in a Kansas newspaper in 1913, the year Richard Nixon was born).  At that point, history and myth become hard to separate, one story saying the food editor of the Chicago Tribune named it to stimulate interest, suggesting it was the ideal snack to enjoy while watching the televised hearings of proceedings pursuant to the scandal while another claimed it was associative because the Watergate Hotel (in the infamous building) served the salad on their popular weekend buffets; no menus appear to have survived to prove or disprove that one.  Best of was the link was because the salad was “full of nuts” (like the crew involved in the scandal, including the memorable lawyer and Watergate conspirator & burglary coordinator G Gordon Liddy (1930–2021) who wasn’t really “a nut” but is often portrayed as one).  True or not, that’s the one which deserves to be accepted.

Aleita Dupree's Watergate Salad recipe

Ingredients

1 (3 ½ oz) box of instant pistachio pudding mix.
1 (20 oz) can of crushed pineapple with juice (most use sweetened).
1 (8 oz) container of cool whip, thawed.
1 heaped cup of miniature marshmallows.
½ cup of chopped pecan nuts.
Stemmed maraschino cherries for garnish (optional).

Instructions

(1) In glass serving bowl, mix crushed pineapple and juice with pistachio pudding mix.  Stir pudding until mix completely is dissolved and mixture is smooth.

(2) Fold in the thawed cool whip.  Gently fold until pudding and cool whip is completely blended.

(3) Add miniature marshmallows and pecans.  Cover and chill until salad is set (should take up to 30 minutes).

(4) To serve, garnish with stemmed cherries and extra chopped pecans (if desired).

Fluff in fashion

Fluffiness in fashion: Lindsay Lohan in Falling for Christmas (Netflix, 2022, left) and in New York to promote Irish Wish (Netflix, 2024, right).  The fluffy cream coat is by David Koma (Davit Komakhidze (Georgian: დავით კომახიძე); b 1985)) a London-based, Georgian-born fashion designer (the label of his fashion house is stylized as DΛVID KOMΛ).  The crystal payette-embroidered layered cup bra hints at the profile of the customer base; it’s on sale at US$1250 (down from US$1750).  The fashion business is regarded by some as a bit “fluffy” (frocks and such) compared with “hard” industries such as heavy engineering or nuclear weapons construction but the annual turnover of the global fashion industry is substantial.  The numbers bounce around a bit because it difficult to determine where “fashion” ends and “commodities” begin but estimates between US$1.5-2.5 trillion are widely quoted (In financial use, one trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 (one million million or 1,000 billion)).

Pizza

Pizza (pronounced peet-suh)

A flat, open-faced baked pie of Italian origin, consisting of a thin layer of bread dough topped with spiced tomato sauce and cheese, often garnished with anchovies, sausage slices, mushrooms etc and baked in a very hot oven; also called pizza pie.

Pre 1000: From the Modern Neapolitan Italian pizza (a variant of pitta (a flat bread)), the origin of which is uncertain.  Although unattested, it may be related to the Vulgar Latin picea, from the Classical Latin piceus (relating to pitch).  An alternative, and more likely, etymology traces it back to the Byzantine Greek πίτα (pita) (cake, pie) which exists in Modern Greek as pitta (cake), the ultimate root being the Ancient Greek pḗtea (bran) and pētítēs (bran; bread).  More speculative is the suggested link with the Langobardic (an ancient German language in northern Italy), from a Germanic source akin to the Old High German pizzo or bizzo (mouthful; morsel; bite) from the proto-Germanic biton (bit).

The first documented use of the word pizza appears to have been AD 997 in Gaeta and then later in different parts of Central and Southern Italy although it’s unclear whether it refers to something which would now be called a pizza.  The official Italian view remains that published in 1907 in the two volume Vocabolario Etimologico della Lingua Italiana (Etymological Vocabulary of the Italian language) that the origin lies in the dialectal pinza (clamp) from the Latin pinsere (to pound or stamp).  The word appears not to have entered general use in English use until the early 1800s although it was known, English linguist, poet & lexicographer John Florio (1552-1625; aka Giovanni Florio) included an entry in his Italian-English Dictionary (A Worlde of Wordes, or Dictionarie of the Italian and English tongues (1598)) defining pizza as “a small cake or wafer”.

Lindsay Lohan with slice of pizza.

The concept of a flat piece of bread dough, covered with savory toppings, is so obviously a convenient and economical way of preparing a meal using pre-modern technology that pizza-like dishes were probably included in the meals of many cultures, the cooking method doubtless quite ancient.  From Greek and Roman records it’s apparent it was known in antiquity a doubtless pre-dates even those civilizations, the Armenians famously having staked a claim to its invention but as part of modernity, it’s long been regarded as one of Italy’s many gifts to the world.  Within Italy, it’s the Neapolitans who most regard it as their own and some are quite proprietorial, appalled by some of the variations (especially those favored by English-speaking barbarians) which appear around the planet, the most infamous probably the ham and pineapple pizza, apparently a Canadian innovation from 1962.  The Neapolitans have allies in their battle for culinary hygiene, Iceland's president, Guðni Jóhannesson (b 1968, President of Iceland since 2016) in 2017 saying he’d like to ban pineapple on pizza.  He later confirmed to do so wasn’t within the constitutional authority of his office and admitted it wasn’t a desirable power of a head of state to possess.  Thinking it an abomination, the Neapolitans are probably more dictatorial and would ban it if they could, insisting that all may appear atop a pizza base is:

Plum tomatoes
Tomato puree (optional)
A sprinkling of table or sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Fresh Mozzarella balls
Parmesan cheese
A drizzle of Olive Oil
A hand-full of fresh basil leaves

The pizzeria (shop where pizzas are made, sold, or eaten) seems to have been a US coining, noted from 1928 in New York City, the number of restaurant using the name proliferating quickly there before spreading in the US and beyond.  In the 1920s and 1930s, “pizzeria” was used also to describe the dish itself.  The shortened for “za” was US student slang for pizza, two syllables just too much for the hippies of the time.

Crooked Hillary Clinton eating pizza: crookedly.

Pizzagate was a conspiracy theory that circulated during the 2016 US presidential campaign, sparked by WikiLeaks publishing a tranche of emails from within the Democrat Party machine.  According to some, encoded in the text of the emails was a series of messages between highly-placed members of the party who were involved in a pedophile ring, even detailing crooked Hillary Clinton’s part in the ritualistic sexual abuse of children in the basement of a certain pizzeria in Washington DC.  The named pizzeria didn’t actually have a basement but the story for a while caused a stir, later integrated (though with less specificity) into the cultural phenomenon which would next year emerge as QAnon.  QAnon may have started as satire in the wake of pizzagate, an absurdist parody of conspiracy theories with claims only simpletons would take seriously but it turned out there were a lot of them about and QAnon soon gained critical mass, assuming a life of its own.  What its rapid traction did suggest was those asserting something unbelievably evil or bizarre need only to claim crooked Hillary Clinton is in some way involved to make it sound creditable.  Had it not been for the perception of crooked Hillary's crooked crookedness, the whole QAnon thing may never have become a thing.

Donald Trump with Sarah Palin (b 1964; 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee), eating pizza with knife & fork.

The Italians (who should know), maintain the correct way to eat pizza is with a knife & fork, starting at the triangular tip and working towards the crust.  Only when what remains is a small remnant of crust, resistant to the prod of the fork, is it thought good form to pick it up with the fingers.  Folding, a popular recommendation among those concerned with cheese-loss, is also frowned upon.  In Italian a folded slice of pizza is known as a calzone (literally “stocking; trouser”) and even those should be eaten with knife & fork.

Donald Trump eating pizza, tip first.

Pizza etiquette is an inexact science but in the West there are few prepared to argue the correct technique is anything but some variation on holding it at the crust-end and eating from the tip although there are some bases so thin and floppy they defy any method short of being rolled into a sushi-like cylinder: for these it’s whatever works.  Generally though, hold the pizza by the crust and begin.  If it’s a thin base and droops towards the tip, lift it higher and lower the tip to the mouth; as the width of what’s left increases, structural integrity will improve and by at least half-way through, it’ll be rigid enough to be eaten horizontally.  Using the thumb, index and middle finger, the slice can slightly be curved (the edges raised) to prevent cheese or other topping sliding off.  In New York City, locals often insist this is called the “New York fold” but, having claimed authorship of the Martini (disputed) and the club sandwich (probably true), many assume if it’s in NYC, they own it.

Advertising agency BBDO's concept paper (3 August 1995) for Pizza Hut’s Stuffed Crust campaign (Donald & Ivana Trump).

Proving that Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021) will do just about anything for money, in 1995 he and ex-wife (#1; the divorce granted in 1990) Ivana (née Zelníčková, 1949–2022)  starred in a commercial for Pizza Hut’s new “Stuffed Crust” pizza, encouraging consumers to eat the things “crust first”.   He knew it was wrong but did it anyway, something some critics suggest is an element in much of Mr Trump's conduct.

Recommended pizza toppings

Silverbeet, broccolini & mozzarella
Sweet potato, goat's cheese & pine nuts
Crab, roasted capsicum & pesto
Grilled aubergine (eggplant) & parmigiana
Blue cheese & roast pumpkin
Polenta, cheese & mushroom
Asparagus & artichoke pesto
Turkey, sticky onion & tart cranberry relish
Grilled aubergine (eggplant) & artichoke
Caramelized pineapple & bacon
Smoked salmon & brie
Pumpkin & zucchini with basil
Zucchini, capsicum & cashew
Gorgonzola, potato & bacon

Kebab

Kebab (pronounced kuh-bob or khe-bab)

(1) A dish consisting of small pieces of meat, tomatoes, onions, etc, threaded onto skewers and grilled, generally over char-coal (in this classic skewered form also called the shish kebab); the most common short form is ‘bab.

(2) In Australia, a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegetarian kebabs are also sold.

(3) To roast in the style of a kebab.

(4) In slang, to stab or skewer (something or someone).

(5) In Indian English use, roast meat.

(6) Colloquially and metonymically, as “the kebab”, a shop or restaurant which sells kebabs (although the technically incorrect genitive singular form kebaba is used in some places).

(7) In chemistry, the outward growing portions of a shish kebab structure.

(8) In slang as an offensive, ethnic slur, a person of Middle Eastern, or North African descent (applied by appearance and usually with the implication the subject is a Muslim and, in Germany, Turkish).

(9) In vulgar slang (mostly working-class UK), the vulva.

(10) In computing, as kebab menu (also called the three (vertical) dots menu), a convention in the design of graphical user interfaces which appears as an icon used to open a menu with additional options, often for configuration or utility purposes.  The icon most often appears at the top-right or (less commonly) the top-left of the screen or window.  It is distinguished form the “meatball menu” which uses three horizontal dots.

1665-1675: From the Arabic كَبَاب‎ (kabāb) (roast or fried meat), ultimately from the Proto-Semitic kabab- (to burn, to roast).  The word entered English under the Raj, via Urdu, Persian, Hindi and the Turkish kebap and the spellings found around the world include kabob kebob cabob kabaab, kabob, kebap, kabab & kebob.  The use of kebab as an ethnic slur directed at Muslims has, in the phrase “remove kebab” become a staple of the alt-right, great-replacement conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and other malcontents.  It became well-known in the mid-1990s because of the phonetic association with the Serbian Nationalist song of ethnic cleansing, Караџићу, води Србе своје (romanized as Karadžiću, vodi Srbe svoje which translates as “Karadžić, Lead Your Serbs)), a reference to the Bosnian Serb political leader Dr Radovan Karadžić (b 1945), once known (and even celebrated) for his poetry and now serving a life sentence for crimes against humanity.  Kebab is a noun (used usually in the plural) & verb, kebabbing & kebabbed are verbs; the noun plural is kebabs.

Noted kebabs

Some linguistically contradictory but delicious vegetarian shish kebabs.

The classic shish kebab was made by skewering (vaguely cuboid) chunks of grilled meat.  Associated with many Mediterranean cuisines, it’s essentially the same dish as the shashlik and khorovats, found in the Caucasus.  Traditionally, reflecting the geographical origin, shish kebab were made with lamb but have also long been made with various kinds of meat, poultry, or fish.  In Türkiye, shish kebabs are accompanied by vegetables but these grilled separately and sit on their own skewer (or sometimes on a side-plate).  In the barbaric West, the meat and vegetable chunks are usually on the same skewer and this sometimes includes pineapple, something said to appall the Turks.  Shish was from the Turkish şiş (skewer), from the Ottoman Turkish شیش‎ (şiş) (swollen) and related to the verb şişmek, cognate with Old Turkic šïš.

A plate of chapli kebabs.

The chapli kebab (چپلي کباب in Pashto) was a Pashtun-style minced-meat dish, made usually with ground beef, mutton, lamb or chicken, spiced and formed into the shape of a patty.  The origins of the dish lie in the old North-West Frontier of the Raj (the area around Peshawar, capital of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in modern-day northern Pakistan).  The cuisine, adapted with local variations and dietary rules, is popular throughout South Asia and West Asia and food critics note that the further it is from Peshawar, the more complex and elaborate are the alterations and additions compared to the simple original.  Chapli Kababs can be served and eaten hot with naan or as a bun kebab.  Chapli is thought to be from the Pashto word chaprikh, chapdikh & chapleet (flat), thus the use for the kebab with a light, round and flattened texture.  A more amusing theory suggests the dish is named after the chappal (sandals), the implication being one’s meal looks as if it has been flattened by a man wearing a sandal.  It’s fine folklore but humorless etymologists prefer to think of Chapli as a shortened version of chapleet.

Mural of Lindsay Lohan in hijab (al-amira) with kebab roll by an unknown street artist (graffitist), Melbourne, Australia (left) and the photograph artist used as template (right).

In multi-cultural Australia, the kebab roll has become a fixture in the fast-food scene with variations extending from vegan to pure meat, the term “kebab” something of a generic meaning what the vendor decides it means.  Cross-culturally the kebab roll fills a particular niche as the standard 3 am snack enjoyed by those leaving night clubs, a place and time at which appetites are heightened.  After midnight, many kebab rolls are sold by street vendors from mobile carts and those in the Middle East will not be surprised to learn barbaric Australians sometimes add pineapple to their roll.  The photograph of Ms Lohan in hijab was taken during a “doorstop” (an informal press conference) after her visit in October 2016 to Gaziantep (known to locals as Antep), a city in the Republic of Türkiye’s south-eastern Anatolia Region.  The purpose of the visit was to meet with Syrian refugees being housed in Gaziantep’s Nizip district and the floral hijab was a gift from one of the residents who presumably assisted with the placement because there’s an art to a well-worn al-amira.

Doner kebab in the Berlin style.

The doner kebab is a certain type of kebab, made with meat cooked on a vertical rotisserie which is almost always in public view.  Seasoned meat stacked in the shape of an inverted cone is turned slowly on the rotisserie, the heat coming from vertical cooking elements immediately adjacent.  To prepare a doner kebab, the operator uses a knife to slice thin shavings from the cooked, outer layer of the rotating meat.  This method of cooking, invented in the Ottoman Empire in the mid-1800s has been adopted in many countries.  In Australia, a kebab is a hand-held dish consisting of pieces of meat roasted on an upright skewer mixed with fresh vegetables and sauces and rolled up in a round piece of unleavened bread; vegan & vegetarian kebabs are also sold.  The modern sandwich variant of döner kebab was first seen in the 1960s in shops in West Berlin operated by Turkish immigrants and quickly became popular to the point where it is now an accepted part of German cuisine and often ordered in the short form “doner”.  The noun, verb & adjective döner was from the Ottoman Turkish دونر‎ (döner) (to turn round; spinning; to rotate), from dönmek (to turn).

Hedgehog

Hedgehog (pronounced hej-hog or heg-hawg)

(1) An Old World, insect-eating mammal of the genus Erinaceus, especially E. europaeus, and related genera, having a protective covering of spines on the back (family Erinaceidae, order Insectivora (insectivores)).  They’re noted for their tactic of rolling into a spiny ball when a threat is perceived.

(2) Any other insectivore of the family Erinaceidae, such as the moon rat.

(3) In US use (outside of strict zoological use), any of various other spiny animals, especially the porcupine

(4) In military use, a portable obstacle made of crossed logs in the shape of an hourglass, usually laced with barbed wire or an obstructive device consisting of steel bars, angle irons, etc, usually embedded in concrete, designed to damage and impede the boats and tanks of a landing force on a beach (an Ellipsis of the original Czech hedgehog (an antitank obstacle constructed from three steel rails)).

(5) In military (army or other ground forces) use, a defensive pattern using a system of strong points (usually roughly equally distant from the defended area) where there exists neither the personnel nor materiel to build a defensive perimeter.

(6) In (informal) military use, a World War II (1939-1945) era, anti-submarine, spigot mortar-type of depth charge, which simultaneously fired a number of explosive charges into the water to create a pattern of underwater explosions, the multiple pressure waves creating a force multiplier effect.

(7) In Australia & New Zealand, a type of chocolate cake (or slice), somewhat similar to an American brownie.

(8) In water way engineering & mining, a form of dredging machine.

(9) In botany, certain flowering plants with parts resembling a member of family Erinaceidae, notably the Medicago intertexta (Calvary clover, Calvary medick, hedgehog medick), the pods of which are armed with short spines, the South African Retzia capensis and the edible fungus Hydnum repandum.

(10) To array something with spiky projections like the quills of a hedgehog.

(11) In hair-dressing, a range of spike hair-styles.

(12) An electrical transformer with open magnetic circuit, the ends of the iron wire core being turned outward and presenting a bristling appearance.

(13) To curl up into a defensive ball (often as hedgehogging).  

(14) In catering, a style used for cocktail party food, consisting of a half melon or potato etc with individual cocktail sticks of cheese and pineapple stuck into it.

(15) In differential geometry, a type of plane curve.

(16) In biochemistry & genetics, as hedgehog signalling pathway, a key regulator of animal development present in many organisms from flies to humans.

(17) In biochemistry, as sonic hedgehog, a morphogenic protein that controls cell division of adult stem cells and has been implicated in the development of some cancers (sometimes capitalized).

1400–1450: From the late Middle English heyghoge, replacing the Old English igl.  The construct was hedge + hog, the first element from the creature’s habit of frequenting hedges, the second a reference to its pig-like snout.  Hedge was from the Middle English hegge, from the Old English heċġ, from the Proto-West Germanic haggju, from the Proto-Germanic hagjō, from the primitive Indo-European kagyóm (enclosure) and was cognate with the Dutch heg and the German Hecke.   Hog was from the Middle English hog, from the Old English hogg, & hocg (hog), which may be from the Old Norse hǫggva (to strike, chop, cut), from the Proto-Germanic hawwaną (to hew, forge), from the primitive Indo-European kewh- (to beat, hew, forge).  It was cognate with the Old High German houwan, the Old Saxon hauwan, the Old English hēawan (from which English gained “hew”).  Hog originally meant “a castrated male pig” (thus the sense of “the cut one” which may be compared to hogget (castrated male sheep)).  The alternative etymology traces a link from a Brythonic language, from the Proto-Celtic sukkos, from the primitive Indo-European suH- and thus cognate with the Welsh hwch (sow) and the Cornish hogh (“pig”).  In the UK, there are a number of synonyms for mammals with spines, all of which evolved as historic regionalisms and those which have endured include urchin (listed as archaic but still used in fiction), furze-pig (West Country), fuzz-pig (West Country), hedgepig (South England), hedgy-boar (Devon) and prickly-pig (Yorkshire).  Hedge-hog is the alternative form.  Hedgehog is a noun & adjective, hedgehogged & hedgehogging are verbs and hedgehogless, hedgehoglike & hedgehoggy are adjectives; the noun plural is hedgehogs.

Hedgehog slice.

A conjecture by German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788–1860), the hedgehog's dilemma, is a metaphor about the people’s simultaneous long for and the dangers posed by the quest for human intimacy and social interaction.  Schopenhauer illustrated the problem by describing a group of hedgehogs who in cold weather try to move close together to share body-heat.  However, because of the danger they pose to each other by virtue of their sharp spines, they are compelled to maintain a safe distance.  As much as they wish to be close, they must stay distant for reasons beyond their control.  Thus it is with humans who either known instinctively or learn from bitter experience that it’s not possible to enjoy human intimacy without the risk of mutual damage and it is this realization which induces caution with others and stunted relationships.  The most extreme manifestation is self-imposed isolation.

"Chunky spikes" a variant of the "hedgehog cut".

Of course most in modern societies interact with many others and Schopenhauer wasn’t suggesting total social avoidance was in any way prevalent but that most relationships tended to be perfunctory, proper and distant, mediated by “politeness and good manners” part of which is literally “keeping one’s distance”; what is now called one’s “personal space”.  Even among German philosophers with their (not always deserved) reputation for going mad it was a particularly Germanic view which recalls the musing of Frederick II (Frederick the Great, 1712–1786, Prussian king 1740-1786) that “The more I know of the nature of man, the more I value the company of dogs”.  It appealed too to other Teutons.  From Vienna, Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) quoted Schopenhauer’s metaphor in Massenpsychologie und Ich-Analyse (Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego (1921)) and heard in the tale the echoes of what so many of his patients had said while reclined on his office sofa.  He’d certainly have recognized as his own work the concept of “basic repression” explored by Berlin-born philosopher Herbert Marcuse (1898–1979) in explaining the mechanisms by which people maintained the “politeness and good manners” Schopenhauer suggested were necessary.  Marcuse’s contribution was the idea of “surplus repression”, those restrictions imposed on human behaviour “necessitated by social domination”, a consequence of the social organization of scarcity and resources in a way not “in accordance with individual needs”.  Some Germans however found some additional repression suited their character.  Albrecht Haushofer (1903–1945), an enigmatic fellow-traveller of the Nazis and for a long time close to the definitely repressed Rudolf Hess (1894–1987; Nazi deputy Führer 1933-1941) wrote during the early days of the regime that “…I am fundamentally not suited for this new German world… He, whose faith in human society approximately agrees with Schopenhauer’s fine parable of the hedgehogs – is unsuitable for the rulers of today.”  That notwithstanding, his faith in the Nazis appeared to overcome his doubts because he remained, off and on, in their service until 1945 when, during the last days of the war, he was murdered by the regime.  

Variations of the hedgehog look.

There little to suggest that German habitué of the British Library’s reading rooms, Karl Marx (1818-1883), much dwelled upon hedgehogs, zoological or metaphorical but those who wrote of his work did.  In The Hedgehog and the Fox (a fine essay on Tolstoy published in 1953), Sir Isaiah Berlin (1909-1997) quoted a fragment from the Greek lyric poet Archilochus (circa 680–circa 645 BC): “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing”.  Hedgehogs, wrote Berlin, were those “…who relate everything to a single central vision, one system, less or more coherent or articulate, in terms of which they understand, think and feel—a single, universal, organizing principle in terms of which alone all that they are and say has significance” while foxes “…pursue many ends, often unrelated and even contradictory, connected, if at all, only in some de facto way, for some psychological or physiological cause, related to no moral or esthetic principle”.  The hedgehog then is like the scientist convinced the one theory, if worked at for long enough, will yield that elusive unified field theory and is “…the monist who relates everything to a central, coherent, all-embracing system” while the fox is the pluralist intrigued by “the infinite variety of things often unrelated and even contradictory to each other”.  Berlin approved of foxes because they seemed to “look and compare” before finding some “degree of truth” which might offer “a point of view” and thus “a starting-point for genuine investigation”.  He labelled Plato, Lucretius, Pascal, Hegel, Dostoevsky, Nietzsche and Proust as hedgehogs (to one degree or another) while Herodotus, Aristotle, Montaigne, Erasmus, Moliere, Goethe, Pushkin, Balzac, Joyce were foxes.  To Berlin, Marx was a hedgehog because he pursued a universal explanatory principle in his advocacy of a materialist conception of history.  Berlin’s thesis was attracted much interest including from Marxists and neo-Marxists and their priceless addition to English was the “quasi-hedgehog” to describe their view being there were more shades to Marx than those of a hedgehog but lest than those of the fox.  Presumably the term quasi-hedgehog was coined because a hybrid of a fox and hedgehog was either unthinkable, unimaginable or indescribable.

Ranger Planet’s summary of the difference between porcupines and hedgehogs with illustrations to scale.

Among non-specialists, the terms “porcupine” and “hedgehog” are sometimes used interchangeably (a la “dolphin” and “porpoise”) and one recent linguistic phenomenon has been the emergence of a “new regionalism” in use, the words moving in accords with patterns of migration.  Although both spiny mammals, porcupines and hedgehogs differ in their biology, behavior, and habitat, the former being rodents of the family Erethizontidae (New World) or Hystricidae (Old World) whereas Hedgehogs belong to the family Erinaceidae and are insectivores.  Porcupines have large, round bodies and long quills, typically weighing 1.0-27 kg (2.2-60 lb) while Hedgehogs are much smaller, weighing usually .45-2.25 kg (1-5 lb) with spines which are shorter and softer.  In both, the distinctive spines are for protection.  A porcupine’s quills detach readily and the advantage of that is they tend to stick to predators; the hedgehogs have shorter, non-barbed spines and when threatened, the creatures curl into a ball with their spines pointing outward, offering protection.  Porcupines are herbivores, primarily eating leaves, twigs, bark, and other plant material; hedgehogs are omnivores, feeding mostly on insects, small invertebrates, and some fruits or plants.  Porcupines can be either arboreal (tree dwellers) or terrestrial (living on the ground), depending on the species and are more common in North America (New World porcupines) and parts of Asia, Africa, and Europe (Old World porcupines).  Hedgehogs generally are terrestrial and prefer grasslands, hedgerows, and gardens, commonly found in Europe, Asia, and parts of Africa; they are also an introduced species in New Zealand and some Scottish islands where they have proved a threat to native creatures.  Both are solitary and nocturnal (most active at night).  The porcupine did make an appearance in political discourse.  In 1904, Theodore Roosevelt (TR, 1858–1919; US president 1901-1909) made one of his less remembered interventions in Santo Domingo after it had reneged on its debts to European creditors (something of a recurrent theme south of the border).  Responding to allegation of imperial avarice, Roosevelt responded he had no more appetite for acquisition “…than a gorged boa constrictor might have to swallow a porcupine wrong-end to.”  Australians, not familiar with porcupines, can equate the presidential metaphor with the familiar phrase “rough end of the pineapple”.

Royal Navy P-class destroyer HMS Pathfinder (1941-1945), 1943, sister ship of HMS Porcupine.

Although during World War II (1939-1945) the Royal Navy used an anti-submarine weapon called “Hedgehog” (also known as the Anti-Submarine Projector) which simultaneously fired a number of explosive charges into the water to create a pattern of underwater explosions, the multiple pressure waves creating a force multiplier effect, the Admiralty has never launched a ship named HMS Hedgehog.  It has however, at various times between 1746-1942 had eight HMS Porcupines on the active list and although another was commissioned in 1967, it was cancelled before being laid down.  The most intriguing HMS Porcupine for word nerds was the last, a P-class destroyer launched in June 1941 (amidst a flurry of destroyer construction early in the war) and commissioned in August 1942.  She was torpedoed by a German U-Boat (submarine) while in the Mediterranean Sea and although damage was severe, the ship remained afloat and was towed back to a North African port, the survival due to her “armored citadel”, a type of naval architecture which can be imagined as a kind of “armored box” enclosing vital components or dangerous material (such as the magazine which hold the ammunition), formed by the armored deck, the waterline belt, and the transverse bulkheads.  It wasn’t unknown for ships to have their bows and sterns shot off yet still not sink and the concept in familiar in the modern automobile’s “safety cell”, the strong passenger compartment to which is attached front and rear the sacrificial “crumple zones” which rather than maintaining their structure in a crash, crumple to absorb and dissipate the impact’s energy before it reaches the occupants.  Declared a total loss, the ship was stripped of components and the hull was cut into two halves (fore & aft) for transportation to England.  Once back in the Portsmouth docks, informally the fore part was dubbed HMS Pork and the rear HMS Pine; both reconfigured as accommodation hulks, the two were in January 1944 commissioned under those names and they remained in service until August 1946, after which all of which was once HMS Porcupine was placed on the disposals list, sold for scrap and broken up.