Malarkey

Malarkey (pronounced muh-lahr-kee)

(1) Speech or writing designed to obscure, mislead, or impress; bunkum; a lie.

(2) Stuff (according to Joe Biden).

1920s: An Americanism of uncertain origin which, despite the urban myth, seems not linked directly to any Irish regionalism or slang although it is a surname of Irish origin.  There may be some relationship with the Greek μαλακός (malakós) (soft; compliant, meek; gentle, mellow, mild, mild-mannered) or μαλακία (malakía) (literally “masturbation”) which figuratively was used to mean “idiocy, stupidity; bullshit, nonsense” in much the same way “wanker” is used in English.  The word gained its early currency from its use by Irish-American cartoonist Thomas Aloysius “Tad” Dorgan (1877–1929), his first use of the word appearing in March 1922.  The synonyms include balderdash, drivel, humbug, foolishness, hogwash, nonsense, & ribbish.  Malarkey is a noun and the (more rare still) noun plural is malarkeys.  Over the years, the spellings malarkey, malachy, malarky, mallarky & mullarkey have all appeared and, as an informal noun, probably none can be said to be right or wrong but malarkey is certainly the most common.

The Irish surname Malarkey was from the Gaelic ó Maoilearca, a patronymic meaning “a descendant of Maoilearca, a follower of St. Earc” and the first known records are in the parish records of Tír Chonaill (Tirconnell; in present day County Donegal, Ulster) where they held a family seat as a branch of the O'Connell's.  The spelling variations (something not then uncommon) were legion and included, inter-alia, Mullarkey, Mullarky, Mallarky, Malarchy, Malarkey, Mularkey and many more.  By the time the name had spread to North America, the spelling had settled on Malarkey and it’s speculated it may have entered the lexicon of slang in the 1920s as an ethnic slur, based on the stereotype of the Irish as slow-witted and given to nonsensical statements.  Another word in US slang during the same era was ackamarackus which, although not documented until the 1930s, it may have been in oral use earlier.  Unlike malarkey, ackamarackus appears to be wholly an arbitrary formation (albeit one with a hint of pseudo-Latin) with not ethnic link and instead simply an attempt to convey the sense of the nonsensical.  Some possible authors have been suggested but the evidence is scant.

Carl Giles noting comrade Khrushchev’s arrival in Washington DC, Daily Express, September 1959.

In September 1959, comrade Nikita Khrushchev (1894–1971; Soviet leader 1953-1964) paid a state visit to the US while the Americans, who had been so shocked by the launch of Sputnik (October 1957), were in the early stages of what came to be called the “space race”, something which really began with the Pentagon moving to match the so-called “missile gap” (which was later proved to be illusory).  The Beaverbrook press’s cartoonist Cark Giles (1916-1995) was well acquainted with British stereotypes of Americans and his use of “malarkey” presumably references the idea of US police forces being dominated by the Irish.

When Joe Biden chose "No Malarkey!" as a campaign slogan for the 2020 presidential campaign, it wasn’t without risk because it was then, as it remains, a fuddy-duddy word and one associated (by the few who knew of it) with old men (the “pale, male & stale” said now to be marketing poison).  Although US presidential politics has of late been dominated by geriatrics (Biden now 80, Donald Trump 76 and crooked Hillary Clinton 75 (though she looks older)), candidates more youthful have tended to be preferred and when Ronald Reagan (b 1911; US president 1981-1989), then a spritely 69, ran in 1980, his advisors didn’t much care about comments suggesting he was “too ignorant” but devoted much effort to managing perceptions he was “too old”.

Campaign bus of Joe Biden (b 1942; US president since 2021), Iowa, 2020.

However, #NoMalarkey probably was a good choice because it was authentically a reflection of the way Biden talks and was at least coherent, unlike much of what he says and it wasn’t as if anyone would have been fooled (as crooked Hillary has attempted) into thinking he was younger.  So, it had the virtue of authenticity which in the age of Donald Trump, crooked Hillary, fake news and twitterbots, must have had some appeal to a cynical electorate and it was distinctive, probably not having much appeared in many campaigns in living memory.  It’s certainly been a part of Biden’s language for years; in the 2012 vice presidential debate with then house speaker Paul Ryan (b 1970; speaker of the US House of Representatives 2015-2019), Biden dismissed one attack as “a bunch of malarkey”.  That was fine but a little later he called another of Ryan statements “a bunch of stuff” which prompted the debate’s moderator to ask what that meant.  Helpfully, Ryan (a good Irish name) interjected to say “It’s Irish” and while in other circumstances Biden (then a youthful 70), would probably just have rejoined “it’s bullshit” , he instead returned to his theme and said “we Irish call it malarkey.”

In political use, it’s actually a handy way of calling someone a liar without using the word and probably better than something like “mendacious” which is too clever (the voters apparently don’t like politicians using words with an obscure meaning) or the crooked Hillaryesque “misspeak” which is a weasel-word.  He clearly found it helpful because the Washington Post’s 2015 analysis of Sunlight Foundation data found that in the twentieth & twenty-first centuries, Biden had said “malarkey” more than anyone on the floor of either house of Congress.  His championing of malarkey seemed also to give the word a nudge back into the mainstream beyond the beltway because, in 2013, the HuffPost reported Lindsay Lohan (another good Irish name) as saying part of a story about her run in the New York Times Magazine was “malarkey”.

Nibble

Nibble (pronounced nib-uhl)

(1) To bite off small bits of something; to eat food by biting off small pieces.

(2) To bite, eat, or chew gently and in small amounts (often in the form “nibbled at”); to take dainty or tentative (especially when unsure of the taste) bites; an act or instance of nibbling.

(3) A small morsel of food.

(4) Snack food (allways (sweet or savory) in the plural as “nibbles” and usually served with drinks).

(5) In fishing, a response by a fish to the bait on a line (technically, the feeling of the fish tasting the bait but not yet “hooked”).

(6) In many contexts, a preliminary positive response or reaction such as an “expression of interest” to a proposal.

(7)  Of an idea or suggestion, tentatively or cautiously to consider.

(8) In moments of intimacy, sexually to stimulate a partner by the (gentle) use of the teeth on body parts (usually extremities) such as toes, finger tips, nipples or ear lobes, a subset of fetishists using this caressing as a prelude to acts such as biting, scratching or spanking.

(9) In computing, a unit of memory equal to half a byte, or four bits.

1425–1475: From the late Middle English nebillen (to peck away at, to sample, to take small bites) and thought related to the Middle Low German nibbelen (to gnaw; to pick with the beak), thus the presumption by most etymologists the word is probably of Dutch or Low German origin and akin to the modern Low German nibbeln (to gnaw), the Middle Dutch knibbelen (to gnaw) (and the source of the Dutch knibbelen (to cavail, squabble)) the Dutch nibbelen (to nibble) and the Saterland Frisian nibje (to nibble).  The noun (an act of nibbling) developed from the verb and appeared in the 1650s, extended in the mid nineteenth century to describe plates of "small bites or morsels.  The verb nosh came into use in New York in 1957 in the sense of “to snack between meals and was from the Yiddish nashn (nibble), from the Middle High German naschen, from the Old High German hnascon & nascon (to nibble), from the Proto-Germanic naskon & gnaskon.  The forms noshed & noshing soon emerged in casual use although “the nosh” had been used in the US military as a noun since 1917, meaning “a mess or canteen”; it was a clipping of “nosh-house” which in civilian slang described restaurants & cafés.  Nibble is a noun & verb, nibbled is a verb & adjective, nibbler is a noun, nibbling is a noun & verb and nibbleable & nibbly & nibblish are adjectives (although not all dictionaries list them as standard forms); the noun plural is nibbles.

Nibbles could also be described as tidbits (often wrongly used as titbits), bites, tastes, or crumbs.  In idiomatic use, “to get a nibble” is (analogous with a fish tentatively tasting the bait before swallowing the hook) to receive a response to an offer, suggestion, idea, advertisement etc.  “To nibble away at” describes processes similar to those illustrated by phrases such as “straw which broke the camel’s back” or “death of a thousand cuts”.  Rust for example “nibbles away” at metal and inflation “nibbles away” at savings and the value of money (unlike hyperinflation which, depending on the its extent, is better described as a process of erosion, decimation, destruction etc).  As a verb to nibble is also to find petty faults or make needlessly pedantic points.

Lindsay Lohan nibbling on a slice of watermelon.

In computing, a nibble was a unit of memory equal to half a byte, or four bits, it’s origin apparently in the late 1950s among the IBM engineers developing the mainframe architecture for the System 360 (the S/360, 1964), the fundamentals of which remain in use even now.  Engineers do have a sense of humor and “nibble” was chosen to represent half a byte, based on the homophony of byte and bite although more serious types (and there were a lot of them about at IBM) preferred half-byte or tetrade (“a group of four things”, from the Ancient Greek τετράς (tetrás)) and by the time the concept ended up in the hands of networking and communications engineers, it could also be a semi-octet, quartet or quadbit.  More linguistically adventurous types coined nybble as an alternative spelling (a tribute to the spelling of byte) and this encouraged others who developed a protocol for the exchange executed with four-bit packets which they labeled nabble, a nod to “babble”.  The word babble, despite the common belief, is unrelated to the Latin Babel, from Biblical Hebrew בָּבֶל‎ (bāḇel) (Babylon) and was from the Middle English babelen, from the Old English bæblian (which existed also as wæflian (foolishly to talk), from the Proto-West Germanic bablōn & wablōn, variants of babalōn, from the Proto-Germanic babalōną (to chatter), from a variety of primitive Indo-European sources which were various ways of expressing the idea of vague speech or mumbling, all of which etymologist suspect were onomatopoeic mimicking of the infantile sounds of babies, something forms appear in just about every known European language.

Lindsay Lohan at a table of nibbles.

In the early days of computing when memory of all types was expensive (and sometimes actually rare), nibbles were helpful because four-bit architecture was an economical way to implement processes and many of the early microprocessors, of which the Intel 4004 (1971) is probably the best remembered because it was the core of so many pocket calculators and despite the enormous advances during the last half-century, 4-bit microcontrollers remain in use, simply because something like a basic washing machine demands nothing more.  The programmers of the early mainframes were demanding more but the hardware to handle that didn’t then exist and the nibble was the optimal way to ensure the most characters could be contained in a given number of bytes, making computations faster and debugging easier although, in a classic work-around, some “nibbles” did grow to 8 bits, the trick invoked to add functionality while maintaining backward computability but the increasing muscularity of hardware soon rendered the approach obsolete.

Crooked Hillary Clinton, nibbling.

The noun nibbler means (1) someone who nibbles, (2) a tool for cutting sheet metal and (3) a fish of the sea chub subfamily Girellinae and (4) a technique for duplicating copying protected floppy diskettes.  Copy-protected diskettes were common in the 1980s and were an attempt by software developers to prevent privacy.  When programs were distributed in a multi-diskette pack, it was common practice to have copy protection applied to only one, this being the one required to undertake an installation or make the software operative; it was essentially the same idea as “product activation” in the internet age.  As an additional layer, some manufacturers would include a counter on an installation diskette which would permit the product to be installed only a set number of times.  The idea behind the name was that the hacks “nibbled away” at the security layer(s) and examples included CopyIIPC & CopyIIAT (for low & double (160-180-320-360-720 kB) & high (1.2-1.44 MB) density diskettes respectively and Fast Hack 'Em.  It was something of a power race because within hours of Microsoft introducing a proprietary 1.7 MB format in an attempt to defeat the pirates, hacks & cracks appeared on the bulletin boards.

Joe Biden "nibbling" and a fish nibbling on the dead skin cells of feet. 

In July 2023, Joe Biden (b 1942; US president since 2021) was observed at a public event “nibbling” on the jumpsuit of an infant girl being held in her moth’s arms.  Fox News, on the spot to record the nibble, claimed the unfortunate child was “scared” and while that may or may not be true, she certainly seemed not best pleased.  Fox News though were right that it was definitely a nibble and nibblin’ Joe used exactly the same action as the small (and presumably grateful) fish which live out their lives feasting on the dead skin cells of the feet of folk who pay a small sum to sit for a while and be nibbled.  For fish and us, it's a win-win situation.

Joe Biden and his wife Dr Jill Biden (b 1951) at a campaign stop, Council Bluffs, Iowa, 30 November, 2019.

Nibblin’ Joe had of course been seen before, photos of him enjoying his wife’s fingers circulating in December 2019 at the start of his No Malarkey bus tour laying out the groundwork for his campaign in the Democratic Party’s Iowa presidential caucuses the following February.  Whether the sight of him nibbling her fingers was responsible for his poor showing in the caucuses isn’t known but despite Pete Buttigieg (b 1982) gaining twice his support in Iowa, the nomination for 2020 was ultimately secured by Mr Biden (with the odd nudge from the Democratic National Committee (DNC) which had decided they’d prefer to contest an election with someone who possibly was senile than with anyone who definitely was gay).

He was of course well known for being sniffin’ Joe, photographs of him leaning in, apparently to “sniff” the hair of women and girls (some young enough to be his great-granddaughters) circulating widely in the run-up to the 2020 election.  It was all very strange because it was such unusual behavior.  Had photographs appeared of a man of his age doing such things behind closed doors, it would have been a textbook case of public moral outrage but do so in public, knowing press and television cameras were focused on him and that sometimes the parents of the children were present, suggested a naïve innocence rather than anything distasteful.  Still, it was strange enough for the party hierarchy to discuss the matter with him and in a public statement, he acknowledged “things have changed” over the years and such tactility was no longer acceptable.  “I get it” he said.  Given the obvious discomfort displayed by some of the women sniffed, one might have thought he should have “got it” sooner.

Joe Biden and crooked Hillary Clinton, Scranton Airport, Pennsylvania, July 2016.

He’s also huggin’ Joe.  In July 2016, the greatest interest crooked Hillary Clinton (then in peak pantsuit mode) had in Joe Biden was thinking of some way he could be persuaded to serve as her secretary of state (foreign minister) once she’d enjoyed her landslide victory over Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021).  That may have accounted for the warmth of the welcome she offered when she waited at the bottom of the stairs to meet him at Scranton airport, Pennsylvania.  However, perhaps overcome with emotion (Scranton his childhood home), the hug she offered lingered longer than she would have liked, huggin’ Joe hanging on for some fifty seconds despite her twice “tapping out” (a double tap on the arm, the accepted non-verbal code to indicate a release is requested) and even trying to wriggle free from his grasp didn’t work.

Should the 2024 US presidential contest descend again to Biden vs Trump (something a majority of Americans seem resigned to rather than enthusiastic about), Mr Trump will again have to decide which moniker best suits his opponent.  In 2020 he used “sleepy Joe”, the unsubtle message denoting someone in advanced cognitive decline who was apt to need frequently to nap.  At the time, there were memes around the hair sniffing photographs using “creepy Joe” and it may have been tempting but Mr Trump’s own documented history of ungentlemanly conduct with women may have led his advisors to suggest he avoid casting that stone.  On that basis, “sniffin’ Joe”, “huggin’ Joe” and “nibblin Joe” are probably out too so it’s either stick with “sleepy Joe” or think of something new.  Whatever his flaws, Mr Trump has a good record of avoiding issues with narcotics and alcohol so the well publicized problems of Hunter Biden (b 1970) might offer some possibilities given the recent discovery of cocaine in the White House although there’s said to be no evidence linking the substance with any member of the Biden family.  In the run-up to the 2020 election he’d used “Basement Biden”, “Beijing Biden” & “Slow Joe” but none really captured the imagination in the way of “crooked Hillary”, “low energy Jeb”, “little Marco”, “mini Mike”, “Lying Ted” or “Fauxcahontas” (although the last one was coined by someone else and Mr Trump usually preferred “Pocahontas”).  He does of course have other matters to think about but the task will have been allocated to staff and it’ll be interesting to see if they conjure up anything fun.