Vanity

Vanity (pronounced van-i-tee)

(1) An excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc; character or quality of being vain; conceit.

(2) An instance or display of this quality or feeling.

(3) Something about which one is vain or excessively proud.

(4) Lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness.

(5) Something worthless, trivial, or pointless.

(6) A small case, usually used for make-up items.

(7) A usually small dressing table used to apply makeup, preen, and coif hair. Normally quite low and similar to a desk, with drawers and one or more mirrors on top.  Often paired with a bench or stool to sit upon.

(8) A type of bathroom fitting, usually a permanently-fixed storage unit including one or more washbasins.

(9) An alternative name for a portfolio maintained as a showcase for one's own talents, especially as a writer, actor, singer, composer or model.

(10) Any idea, theory or statement entirely without foundation (UK only, now obsolete).

1200-1250: From Middle English vanite, borrowed from Old French vanité (self-conceit; futility; lack of resolve) derived from the Classical Latin vānitās (emptiness, aimlessness; falsity (and when used figuratively "vainglory, foolish pride”), root of which was vānus (empty, void (and when used figuratively "idle, fruitless”).  A more precise equivalent in Latin was probably vanitatem (emptiness, foolish pride).  Root was the primitive Indo-European wano-, the suffixed form of the root eue- (to leave, abandon, give out).  English also absorbed many synonyms and related words: egotism, complacency, vainglory, ostentation, pride, emptiness, sham, unreality, folly, triviality, futility.  Except in religious texts, the old meaning (that which is vain, futile, or worthless) faded from general use, the modern meaning (self-conceited), which endures to this day, is attested from the mid-fourteenth century.  The first reference to furniture was the vanity table, dating from 1936, a use adopted by manufacturers of bathroom fittings in the later post-war period.  The first vanity table seem to have been advertised in 1936.

The Old Testament

Vanity of vanities, said the preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

The word translated as vanity appears 37 times in Ecclesiastes, more than in the entirety of the rest of the Old Testament so is clearly a theme of the text.  The meaning of vanity is used here in its original form of something that is transitory and quickly passes away.  In that it’s a literal translation of the Hebrew hebel, best understood in this context as meaning breath of wind, something which, whatever its immediate effects, is soon gone.  Unfortunately for nihilists, emos and other depressives trawling texts for anything confirming the pointlessness of life, biblical scholars agree the phrase is not an assertion that life is meaningless or that our labors in this fallen world are ultimately useless.  Instead, it’s a saying to help people put their lives in the proper perspective.  Ecclesiastes is not saying all our efforts are worthless, just observing that all we do in our three score and ten years upon this earth is but a brief prelude to our eternal existence and much of life escapes our understanding, for we cannot comprehend how everything fits into the grand story of creation.

All very poetic but, perhaps sadly, improbable.  It’s more likely the universe is a violent, doomed, swirl of matter and energy, life is pointless, right or wrong are just variable constructs, everything is meaningless and all any can hope for is a fleetingly brief false consciousness which might make us feel happy.

Vanity Fair

Published in 1678, John Bunyan’s (1628–1688) The Pilgrim's Progress is an allegory of the Christian’s spiritual journey through the sins and temptations of earthly existence to the salvation of the Kingdom of Heaven; a symbolic vision of an English worthy’s pilgrimage through life.  In the village of Vanity is a perpetual fair, selling all things to satisfy all desires and Vanity Fair represents the sin of man’s attachment to and lust for transient worldly goods, a critique echoed later in secular criticisms of materialism.

Novelist William Makepeace Thackeray (1811–1863), although making no mention of Bunyan or his work when he published Vanity Fair in 1848, could rely on his readers being well acquainted with the symbolism of the earlier allegory.  By the mid-nineteenth century when Thackeray’s portrait of British society was published, the term had become laden too with secular and class-conscious meanings, suggesting the imagery both of self-indulgent playground and the sense of that stratum of society where the only habitué are the idle and undeserving rich.  Thackeray explored both.

Lindsay Lohan. Vanity Fair Italia, August 2011

Over the years, on both sides of the Atlantic, a number of periodicals have used the masthead Vanity Fair.  The current one has its roots in Condé Nast’s purchase in 1913 of a men's fashion journal called Dress, and Vanity Fair, a magazine devoted to performing arts with an emphasis on theatre.  After a brief, unsatisfactory foray as the combined title Dress and Vanity Fair, in 1914 he re-launched as Vanity Fair and success was immediate, continuing even until well into the depression years of the 1930s.  Curiously different to the vicissitudes of the digital age, although revenue from advertising had collapsed, by the time Condé Nast in 1936 folded Vanity Fair into his companion title Vogue, circulation had reached an all-time high.  The problem was the cover price of an issue wasn’t sufficient profitably to cover production and distribution costs; advertising was essential.  In a situation familiar to newspaper publishers in their halcyon days, it wasn’t advantageous to achieve higher sales.

Condé Nast Publications revived the title, February 1983 the first issue.  Like most print publications, its advertising revenue has declined but, critically in this market, so have newsstand sales.  Its subscriber base is said to be stable but Condé Nast doesn’t release data indicating the breakdown mix and it’s thus unknown how much of this is made up from less lucrative bundled packages.  Newsstand sales of single-issue copies are a vital metric in this market, editors judged by monthly sales, a school of analysis now devoted to deconstructing the relationship between the photograph on an issue’s cover and copies sold; editorial content, while not ignored, seems less relevant.

The magazine’s future is thus uncertain as are the options were it not to continue as a distinct, stand-alone entity with a print version.  It’s a different environment from 1936 when it was absorbed into Vogue and different even to the turn of the century when Mirabella, a similar publication facing similar problems, closed.  The now well-practiced path of ceasing print production and going wholly digital may become attractive if circulation continues to suffer.  While it true Condé Nast already has digital titles which would seem to overlap with Vanity Fair, that’s less of a concern than cannibalization in print where the relationship of production and distribution costs to individual sales is different; both are marginal in gaining additional digital subscriptions.

Vanity Cases

The vanity case is an ancient accessory, one, three-thousand years old, made from inlaid cedar containing ointment, face-paint, perfume and a mirror of polished metal, was discovered during one of Howard Carter’s (1874–1939) archaeological digs.  Well known in something recognizably modern from the fourteenth century in France and Italy, they became fashionable in England only during the 1700s and then for men, as a small box called a “dressing case”, designed to fit into larger “dressing case”.

Enamel vanity case by Gérard Sandoz, Paris, circa 1927.

Cigarette case by Cartier, Paris, circa 1925.

During the 1920s, the modern styles evolved.  Most exquisite were the art-deco creations designed as companion pieces to the cigarette cases newly fashionable with women as the social acceptability of young ladies smoking became prevalent.

Heckblende

Heckblende (pronounced hek-blend or hek-blend-ah (German)

A moulded piece of reflective plastic permanently mounted between a car’s tail lamp (or tail light) assemblies and designed to make them appear a contiguous entity

1980s: A compound word in modern German, the construct being Heck (rear; back) + Blende (cover).  As a surname, Heck (most common in southern Germany and the Rhineland) came from the Middle High German hecke or hegge (hedge), the origin probably as a topographic name for someone who lived near a hedge.  The link with hedges as a means of dividing properties led in the Middle Low German to heck meaning “wooden fencing” under the influence of the Old Saxon hekki, from the Proto-West Germanic hakkju.  In nautical slang heck came to refer to the “back of a ship” because the position of the helmsman in the stern was enclosed by such a fence and from here it evolved in modern German generally to refer to "back or rear".  The Modern German Blende was from blenden (deceive), from the Middle High German blenden, from the Old High German blenten, from the Proto-Germanic blandijaną, from the primitive Indo-European blend- and was cognate with the Dutch blenden and the Old English blendan.  Because all German nouns are capitalized, Heckblende is correct but in English, when used, heckblende is the usual spelling.

The German blende translates as “cover” so the construct Heck + Blende (one of their shorter compounds) happily deconstructs as “back cover” and that obviously describes the plastic mouldings used to cover the space between a car’s left and right-side tail lamps.  Blenden however can (as a transitive or intransitive) translate as (1) “to dazzle; to blind” in the sense of confuse someone’s sight by means of excessive brightness”, (2) (figuratively and usually as an intransitive) to show off; to pose (try to make an impression on someone by behaving affectedly or overstating one’s achievements) and (3) “to dazzle” in the sense of deception (from the 1680s German Blende (an ore of zinc and other metals, a back-formation from blenden (in the sense of "to blind, to deceive") and so called because the substance resembles lead but yields none (but should not be confused with the English construct hornblende (using the English “blende” in the sense of “mix”) (a dark-green to black mineral of the amphibole group, calcium magnesium iron and hydroxyl aluminosilicate)).

A heckblende thus (1) literally is a cover and (2) is there to deceive a viewer by purporting to be part of the rear lighting rather than something merely decorative (sic).  If a similar looking assembly is illuminated and thus part of the lighting system, then it's not a heckblende but part of a full-width tail lamp. 

1934 Auburn Boat-tail Speedster.

On cars, the design of tail lamps stated modestly enough and few were in use before 1914, often a small, oil-lit single lens the only fitting.  Electric lamps were standardized by the 1920s and early legislation passed in many jurisdictions specified the need for red illumination to the rear (later also to indicate braking) but about the only detail specified was a minimum luminosity; shape, size and placement was left to manufacturers.  Before the late 1940s, most early tail laps were purely functional with little attempt to make them design motifs although during the art deco era, there were some notably elegant flourishes but despite that, they remained generally an afterthought and on lower priced models, a second tail lamp was sometimes optional, the standard of a left and right-side unit not universal until the 1950s.

A tale of the tails of two economies:  1959 MGA Twin-Cam FHC & 1959 Daimler Majestic (upper) and 1959 Chevrolet Impala (batwing) flattop & 1959 DeSoto Adventurer convertible (lower).

It was in the 1950s the shape of tail lamps became increasingly stylized.  With modern plastics freeing designers from the constraints the use of glass had imposed and the experience gained during the Second World War in the mass-production of molded Perspex, new possibilities were explored.  In the UK and Europe, there was little extravagance, manufacturers content usually to take advantage of new materials and techniques mostly to fashion what were little more than larger, more rounded versions of what had gone before, the amber lens being adopted as turn indicators to replace the mechanically operated semaphore signals often little more than a duplication of the red lamp or an unimaginatively-added appendage.

1961 Chrysler Turboflite show car.

Across the Atlantic, US designers were more ambitious but one idea which seems not to have been pursued was the full-width tail lamp and that must have been by choice because it would have presented no challenges in engineering.  Instead, as the jet age became the space age, the dominant themes were aeronautical or recalled the mechanism of rocketry, tail lamps styled to resemble the exhausts of jet-engines or space ships, the inspiration as often from SF (science fiction) as the runway.  Pursuing that theme, much of the industry succumbed to the famous fin fetish, the tails of their macropterous creations emphasizing the vertical more than the horizontal.  Surprisingly though, despite having produced literally dozens of one-off “concept” and “dream” cars over the decade, it seems it wasn’t until 1961 when Chrysler sent their Turboflite around the show circuit that something with a genuine full-width tail lamp was shown.

1936 Tatra T87 (left), 1961 Tatra T603A prototype (centre) & 1963 Tatra T-603-X5 (right).

That same year, in Czechoslovakia, the Warsaw Pact’s improbable Bohemian home of the avant garde, Tatra’s engineers considered full-width tail lamps for their revised 603A.  As indicated by the specification used since before the war (rear-engined with an air-cooled, 2.5 litre (155 cubic inch) all-aluminum V8), Tatra paid little attention to overseas trends and were influenced more by dynamometers and wind tunnels.  However, the tail lamps didn’t make it to volume production although the 603A prototype did survive to be displayed in Tatra’s Prague museum.  Tatra’s designs, monuments to mid-century modernism, remain intriguing.

1967 Imperial LeBaron four door Hardtop.

If the idea didn’t impress behind the iron curtain, it certainly caught on in the West, full-width assemblies were used by many US manufacturers over the decades including Mercury, Imperial, Dodge, Shelby, Ford, Chrysler & Lincoln.  Some genuinely were full-width lamps in that the entire panel was illumined, a few from the Ford corporation even with the novelty of sequential turn-signals (outlawed in the early 1970s, bureaucrats seemingly always on the search for something to ban).  Most however were what would come to be called heckblendes, intended only to create an illusion.

Clockwise from top left: 1974 ZG Fairlane (AU), 1977 Thunderbird (US), 1966 Zodiac Mark IV (UK), 1970 Thunderbird (US), 1973 Landau (AU) & 1970 Torino (US).

Whether heckblendes or actually wired assemblies, Ford became especially fond of the idea which in 1966 made an Atlantic crossing, appearing on the Mark IV Zodiac, a car packed with advanced ideas but so badly executed it tarnished the name and when it (and the lower-priced Zephyr which made do without the heckblende) was replaced, the Zephyr & Zodiac names were banished from Europe, never to return.  Ford’s southern hemisphere colonial outpost picked-up the style (and typically several years later), Ford Australia using heckblendes on the ZF & ZG Fairlanes (1972-1976) and the P5 LTD & Landau (1973-1976).  The Fairlane’s heckblendes weren’t reprised when the restyled ZH (1976-1979) model was released but, presumably having spent so much of the budget on new tail lamps, the problem of needing a new front end was solved simply by adapting that of the 1968 Mercury Marquis (the name shamelessly borrowed too), colonies often run with hand-me-downs.

1968 HK Holdens left to right: Belmont, Kingswood, Premier & Monaro GTS.  By their heckblende they shall be known.

In Australia, the local subsidiary of General Motors (GM) applied a double fake.  The "heckblende" on the HK Monaro GTS (1968-1969), as a piece of cost-cutting, was actually red-painted metal rather than reflective plastic and unfortunately prone to deterioration under the harsh southern sun; it was a fake version of a fake tail lamp.  Cleverly though, the fake apparatus was used as an indicator of one's place in the hierarchy, the basic Belmont with just tail lamps, the (slightly) better-appointed Kingswood with extensions, the up-market Premier with extended extensions and the Monaro GTS with the full-width part.  Probably the Belmont and Premier were ascetically most successful.  Exactly the same idea was recycled for the VH Commodore (1981-1984), the SL/E (effectively the Premier's replacement) model's tail lamp assemblies gaining stubby extensions.

Left to right, 1967 HR Premier, 1969 HT Brougham & 1971 HQ Premier.  

The idea of a full-width decorative panel wasn’t new, Holden having used such a fitting on earlier Premiers.  Known as the “boot appliqué strip”, it began small on the EJ (1962-1963), EH (1963-1965) & HD (1965-1966) before becoming large and garish on the HR (1966-1968) but (although not then known as bling), that must have been thought a bit much because it was toned down and halved in height when applied to the elongated and tarted-up Brougham (1968-1971 and intended to appeal to the bourgeoisie) and barely perceptible when used on the HQ Premier (1971-1974).  Holden didn’t however forget the heckblende and a quite large slab appeared on the VT Commodore (1997-2000) although it wasn’t retained on the revised VX (2000-2002) but whether in this the substantial rise in the oil price (and thus the cost of plastic) was a factor isn’t known.

Left to right: 1973 Porsche 914 2.0, 1983 BMW 323i (E30) & 1988 Mercedes-Benz 300E (W124).

Although, beginning with the 914 in 1973, Porsche was an early European adopter of the heckblende and has used it frequently since, it was the 1980s which were the halcyon days of after-market plastic, owners of smaller BMWs and Mercedes-Benz seemingly the most easily tempted.  The additions were always unnecessary and the only useful way they can be catalogued is to say some were worse than others.  The fad predictably spread to the east (near, middle & far) and results there were just as ghastly although the popularity of the things must have been helpful as a form of economic stimulus, such was the volume in which the things were churned out.  Among males aged 17-39, few things have proved as enduringly infectious as a love of gluing or bolting to cars, pieces of plastic which convey their owner's appalling taste. 

2019 Mercedes-Benz EQC 400 with taillight bar.

Fewer manufacturers now use heckblendes as original equipment and when they did the terminology varied, nomenclature including "decor panels", "valances" or "tail section appliqués".  However, although the heckblende may (hopefully) be headed for extinction, full-width tail lamps still entice stylists and modern techniques of design and production, combined with what LEDs & OLEDs have made possible, mean it’s again a popular feature, the preferred term now “taillight bar”.

Colonnade

Colonnade (pronounced kol-uh-neyd)

(1) In architecture, a series of regularly spaced columns supporting an entablature and often one side of a roof.

(2) In design (usually as "colonnaded"), any array of upright structures which emulate the style of architectural colonnades. 

(3) A series of trees planted in a long row, as on each side of a driveway or road.

(4) The descriptor for the body style used in the US on the General Motors (GM) “A-Body” platform 1973-1977.

1718: From the French colonnade, from the Italian colonnato, from colonna (column), from the Latin columna (pillar), a collateral form of columen (top, summit), from the primitive Indo-European root kel- (to be prominent; hill).  The related term is colonnette which in architecture is a small slender column, sometimes merely decorative but also structural, supporting a beam or lintel). In interior decorating and furniture design, colonettes are also used, featuring in objects as diverse as chairs, tables and mantle-clocks, the motif noted by archeologists in excavations from Antiquity.  The –ette suffix was from the Middle English -ette, a borrowing from the Old French -ette, from the Latin -itta, the feminine form of -ittus.  It was used to form nouns meaning a smaller form of something.  Colonnade is a noun and colonnaded is an adjective; the noun plural is colannades.

Colonnades at Piazza San Pietro, leading to St Peter's Basilica, Vatican City.

The noun peristyle described "a range or ranges of columns surrounding any part or place".  It dates from the 1610s and was from the mid sixteenth century French péristyle (row of columns surrounding a building), from the Classical Latin peristȳlum & peristȳlium, from the Ancient Greek περιστῡ́λιον (peristū́lion) & περίστυλον (perístulon), a noun use of the neuter form of περίστυλος (perístulos) (surrounded by columns), the construct being περί (perí) + στῦλος (stûlos) (pillar), from the primitive Indo-European root sta- (to stand, make or be firm).  In voodoo, it has the special meaning of “a sacred roofed courtyard with a central pillar (the potomitan), used to conduct ceremonies, either alone or as an adjunct to an enclosed temple or altar-room.

1974 Buick Century Luxus Colonnade Sedan

Under the traditional naming system used by General Motors (GM), the code "A-body" was use for the intermediate platform, a body-on-frame design in which the driveline and suspension were pre-assembled on a perimeter-frame chassis to which the body subsequently was attached.  The 1973-1977 GM A-Body cars were thus structurally similar to the highly regarded 1964-1972 models but the body style was radically different for a number of reasons, including some imposed by legislation.  One feature eliminated from the A-Body after 1973 was the hardtop, a body-style which used frameless side-windows and no central (B) pillar.  The much admired hardtop style had to be sacrificed (though the fameless-windows were carried-over) because the new federal legislation demanded improved roll-over protection, thus the need for B-pillars to form a kind of integral roll-cage.  This was the era when safety and anti-pollution regulation first became stringent and the 1973-1977 cars would be the first with the 5 mph (8 km/h) crash bumpers, most early versions of which looked something like battering rams.

1973 Oldsmobile Colonnade Cutlass.  In the 1970s, the Cutlass would become the best-selling car in the US but it's the previous generation A-Bodies (1964-1972) which are much sought.

General Motors dubbed the style “Colonnade”, an allusion to the array of three pillars where once there had been but two.  Built at the time in big numbers with production (spread between the Chevrolet, Buick, Oldsmobile & Pontiac divisions) exceeding seven million, the survival rate was low compared with their more illustrious (though sometimes lethally unsafe) predecessors and because few attained “collectable” status, no industry of replacement and re-production parts emerged to make restorations conveniently possible.  While the Colonnade cars don’t mark the dawn of the “malaise era” for which the Carter administration is remembered (although in the “Crisis of Confidence” speech which is taken as its marker, Jimmy Carter (b 1924, US president 1977-1981) never spoke the word “malaise”), the hints are certainly there that worse was to come.

1977 Pontiac Can Am advertising was apparently the only time Pontiac officially used the popular "GOAT" (greatest of all time) allusion to the GTO.

One (not especially bright) highlight of the Colonnade years came almost at the end when Pontiac released the Can Am.  By 1977, Pontiac was no longer making genuinely fast or exciting cars (and in fairness, nor were many others) but with machines like the Firebird Trans-Am, they were certainly making stuff which looked the part and it was this flair for keeping-up-appearances which inspired the Can Am.  One model which had disappointed the Pontiac hierarchy was the LeMans which, even by Colonnade standards was an unhappy looking thing, the sloping rear end and buff-front apparently the work of two different and not especially gifted committees.  Fundamentally, it couldn’t be fixed but the Detroit’s marketing people had worked before with unpromising material and knew all about “tarting-up”.

1977 Pontiac Can Am.

The first proposal added a ducktail spoiler to the rear which quite effectively disguised the drooping lines and revived the “Judge” name, a muscle-car moniker from Pontiac’s recent past, added stripes and finished the thing in a lurid red which was close to the Judge’s signature shade.  Officially, the Pontiac management were said to be “unenthusiastic” but apparently they were appalled and knew something so obviously fake would not be well-received.  There the project might have died but the marketing team had a second go, adding the Firebird Trans Am’s 400 cubic inch (6.6 litre) V8, keeping the spoiler and changing the color to stark white, complemented with red, yellow and orange stripes, the Swiss-Guardesque combination looking better than it sounds.  The interior gained additional appointments, borrowed from the Grand Prix, one Pontiac which was selling well and the name came from a famous racing series which in its halcyon years had been contested by the FIA’s Group 7, unlimited displacement sports cars.  The Pontiac was a long way removed from that but at the time, so was just about everything and the project was duly approved for a mid-season (early 1977) introduction.

The spoiler which broke the mold: The 1977 Pontiac Can Am’s rear styling reflected GM’s thoughts on styling at the time, the same motifs appearing on the HJ-HX-HZ Holden sedans (1974-1980).

Sales began in January and the critical response was polite, the performance noted as being about as good as could be expected at the time and the handling receiving the usual praise, one improvement of the Colonnade era which was real.  In a sign of the times, only an automatic transmission was offered and, in deference to California’s more exacting anti-pollution rules, Can Ams sold there were fitted with the less powerful Oldsmobile 403 cubic inch (6.6 litre) V8 also used in high-altitude regions.  Sales projections were initially a modest 2500 units but the public clearly liked the look, dealers reporting high demand so the production schedule was doubled and the first batch of just over a 1000 cars was shipped.  Unfortunately, it was at this point the hand-crafted mold used to form the ducktail spoiler broke and such had been the rush to market than there was no spare.  Had the distinctive molding not been such a prominent part of the Can Am’s marketing materials, perhaps it might have been possible to proceed spoiler-less but it was decided to cancel the programme.  Whether or not it’s an industry myth, the story has always been that because the Can Am depended on so many parts (especially the interior) from the parts bin of the fast-selling (and highly profitable) Grand Prix, Pontiac decided they’d rather have more of them.  Total Can Am production was apparently 1377 units and they’re now regarded with more fondness than much of the machinery from the malaise era, the rarity and flamboyance of the Colonnade lines gaining them a small but seemingly secure niche in the collector market.

Lindsay Lohan in Falling for Christmas (Netflix, 2022).  Any structure, small or large which adopts the architectural language of the colonnade (an array of vertical pillar-like structures) is said to be colonnaded.  These are doors with colonnaded windows.

Benzodiazepine

Benzodiazepine (pronounced ben-zoh-dahy-az-uh-peen)

A family of chemical compounds used as minor tranquilizers that act against anxiety and convulsions and produce sedation and muscle relaxation; marketed, with variations, under a number of brand-names and trademarks such as Diazepam (Valium) and chlordiazepoxide (Librium).

1934: Word is a chemical construct, from benzo (word-forming element used in chemistry to indicate presence of a benzene ring fused with another ring) + di (from the Ancient Greek δίς (dís) (twice) + az (nitrogen-substituted) + epine (from the French hepta (seven-membered).

Benzodiazepines are a class of therapeutic agents capable of producing a calming, sedative effect and used in the treatment of fear, anxiety, tension, agitation, and related states of mental disturbance.  Among the most widely prescribed drugs in the world, the first benzodiazepine was chlordiazepoxide (Librium), followed by a large variety of agents, including diazepam (Valium) and alprazolam (Xanax), each with slightly different properties.  Benzodiazepines work by enhancing the action of the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which inhibits anxiety by reducing certain nerve-impulse transmissions within the brain.

Before the development of the benzodiazepines, the only available anti-anxiety drugs were the barbiturates and meprobamate and, relative to these, the benzodiazepines had fewer unfavorable side effects and a reduced potential for abuse.  The thus quickly became the preferred treatment for anxiety, used also to treat insomnia, general stress, calming muscle spasms and preparing patient for anesthesia or dental surgery.  Side effects include sleepiness, drowsiness, reduced alertness, and unsteadiness of gait but benzodiazepines are not lethal even in very large overdoses, having the tendency only to increase the sedative effects of alcohol and other drugs.  Dependence may however occur, even in moderate dosages, with withdrawal symptoms observed even after short-term use and for long-term users, almost half may suffer withdrawal symptoms which can take months to subside.  As a consequence, some long-term users continue to take the drug not because of persistent anxiety but because the withdrawal symptoms are too unpleasant.

Valium was introduced by the Swiss Roche Labs in 1963.  It was the first billion-dollar medicine and ushered in the era of brand-name drugs, the model of later marketing campaigns for products such as Prozac and Viagra.  In its halcyon years between 1969 and 1982, more prescriptions were written for Valium than any other drug.  The name Valium (which in US trademark law was Hoffmann-La Roche’s proprietary name for diazepam, first registered in 1961) was a creation of the corporation, not, as is often claimed, from a Latin word or formation meaning "to be strong and well".  Valium was no different from Telstra and Optus, creations by consultants needing a word both unique and different enough from others to withstand legal challenge while being something which hints, however vaguely, at what’s being sold.  In Latin, there was validum (strong; powerful; efficacious), vallum (a fortification) and the plant valerian (a herbal sedative), all of which were probably in the corporate mind.  Some with medical connections such as vulnerary (used for or useful in healing wounds), valetudinarian (a person of a weak or sickly constitution) and valetudo (one's state of health (good or bad)) might have been a bit remote so the closest inspiration was likely valere (a Latin verb meaning “to be strong”; “to be well”).  Best of all the sardonic industry jokes was a connection with the Latin vale (goodbye; farewell) although Valium wasn’t much use in suicide attempts, fatal overdoses, while not impossible, were rare.

Salad

Salad (pronounced sal-uhd)

(1) A usually cold (a few are “warm”) dish consisting of vegetables, as lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers, covered with a dressing and sometimes containing fruit, seafood, meat eggs or other additions; any of various dishes consisting of foods, as meat, seafood, eggs, pasta, or fruit, prepared singly or combined, usually cut up, mixed with a dressing, and served cold (often with a modifier: Caesar salad, Niçoise salad, pasta salad, Greek salad, Thai salad, tossed salad, chicken salad, potato salad, fruit salad etc).

(2) Any herb or green vegetable, as lettuce, used for salads or eaten raw.

(3) Figuratively, a mixture or assortment of people or things, similar or disparate.

1350–1400: From the Middle English salade & salad (raw herbs cut up and variously dressed), from the Old & Middle French salade, from the Old Provençal salada, from salar (to season with salt), from the Northern Italian salada & salata, from the Vulgar Latin salāta (literally "salted" and short for herba salata), from salāre, the feminine past participle of salāre (to salt (in Antiquity, the Romans seasoned vegetables with brine or salty oil-and-vinegar dressings)), the construct being sal- (genitive salis; stem of sāl (salt)) + -āta- (added to nouns to form adjectives and akin to –ate).  The suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate & senate).  Those that came to English via French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or later to indicate the long vowel.  It can also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as desolate, moderate & separate).  Again, often they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after circa 1400; a doublet of –ee.  Salad’s alternative spelling between the sixteenth & nineteenth centuries was sallet.  Salad is a noun: the noun plural is salads.

In Europe, the Dutch salade, the German Salat, the Swedish salat and the Russian salat are from Romanic languages.  The early use was exclusively of herbs and vegetables but came later to be extended to dishes including meat chopped and mixed with uncooked herbs and variously seasoned, the point being that the meat was an addition to a concoction predominately of vegetables.  As a reference to the raw herbs and vegetables themselves, in the US by the early nineteenth century most had limited the application of “salad” to lettuce while all else were “greens” although, except in the South, “salad” has in recent years crept back.  Salad oil "olive oil used for dressing salads" was known by the 1550s and the salad fork was listed for sale as early as 1808.  The salad bar was an invention of US English, attested by 1940.

The idiomatic salad days is a rarely used phrase that survives because William Shakespeare (1654-1616) used it once in all that he wrote and it’s used exclusively in the plural; nobody has ever had a “salad day”.  It’s presumed usually to convey a sense of youthful innocence enthusiasm and idealism associated with inexperience and is sometimes confused with “halcyon days” which actually summons the idea of a time of calm, a nostalgic idealizing of a past.  Not all however thought something worth repeating just because it came from the bard's quill.  The unforgiving Henry Fowler (1858-1933) thought salad days just a cliché and even doubted the accepted meaning.  In Modern English Usage (1926) he though youth, like salad might variously be thought (1) green & raw, (2) prone to a preference for highly flavored tastes or (3) innocent as a herb unlike corrupted meat.  Even for the old curmudgeon that seems a stretch but his point was that few who used the phase properly understood its meaning and it was thus “fitter for parrots than for human speech”.

Salad days was spoken by Cleopatra in Act 1, Scene 5 of Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra (circa 1607).

CHARMIAN The valiant Caesar!

CLEOPATRA By Isis, I will give thee bloody teeth

If thou with Caesar paragon again

My man of men.

CHARMIAN By your most gracious pardon,

I sing but after you.

CLEOPATRA My salad days,

When I was green in judgment, cold in blood,

To say as I said then. But come, away,

Get me ink and paper.

He shall have every day a several greeting,

Or I’ll unpeople Egypt.

Having spoken longingly of Antony. Cleopatra doesn’t like it mentioned that once she spoke of her lover Caesar with the same ecstasy and when reminded they were her own words, Cleopatra concedes the point but puts it down to the rash impetuosity of youth, salad days when she was “green in judgment, cold in blood”.  The convention explanation of salad days as Shakespeare’s device is that the Cleopatra used the image of the salad (green and cold) as something served before the richer, more substantial, hot main course, making the point it was youthful inexperience which made her idealize her affair with Caesar.  It was the passionate Antony who made her blood boil.  Shakespeare never returned to the phrase but had earlier used “green” in the same sense.  In Hamlet (circa 1601), when Ophelia is speaking to her father Polonius, about her troubled relationship with Hamlet, he says “You speak like a green girl; Unsifted in such perilous circumstances.”

Others liked it though.  Although Bonjour Tristesse (Hello Sadness (1954)) tended to overshadow the later work of French novelist Francoise Sagan (1935-2004), her Salad Days (1980) is especially admired in English translation and one of the century’s better evocations of the well-worn tale of star-cross’d lovers.  Quite how many cook books, entertaining guides and such have been titled “Salad Days” (there have also been not a few “Salad Daze”) is not known but it’s many.  When Elizabeth II (1926-2022; Queen of England and other places variously 1952-2022) delivered a Silver Jubilee Royal Address (1977), she reiterated the vow to God and her people she gave in her twenty-first birthday broadcast (1947), adding: “Although that vow was made in my salad days, when I was green in judgment”, it still held.  Her conclusion was different from Shakespeare’s Cleopatra whose feelings had changed since those salad days.  Elizabeth II never wavered.

In the aftermath of her death, the words she spoke in those salad days were widely and admiringly quoted: 

"I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong."

There were however historians who, in their capacity as public psychologists, noted that few thought to trouble the people of 2022 with her concluding remarks:

"But I shall not have strength to carry out this resolution alone unless you join in it with me, as I now invite you to do: I know that your support will be unfailingly given. God help me to make good my vow, and God bless all of you who are willing to share in it."

Egg & Potato Salad

Ingredients

6 large Dutch cream(or Desiree) potatoes, cut into 50 mm (2 inch) cubes

6 eggs, at room temperature

250 grams crème fraîche

200 grams mayonnaise

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

70 grams salted baby capers, rinsed and drained

100 grams cornichons, thinly sliced

2 golden shallots, thinly sliced

To garnish: some flat-leaf parsley, torn

Instructions

(1) Cook potatoes in boiling salted water until tender (10-15 minutes), then drain and set aside to steam dry.

(2) While the potatoes are cooking, place eggs in a saucepan of salted boiling water and cook for 8 minutes (for medium-cooked yolks), then drain and transfer to iced water to stop cooking. Peel, quarter and set aside.

(3) Combine remaining ingredients in a bowl and season to taste. Add potato and gently mix to coat well, then transfer to a platter, top with eggs, scatter with parsley, season with black pepper and serve.