Spinster

Spinster (pronounced spin-sta (U) or spin-ster (non-U))

(1) A woman still unmarried beyond the usual age (according to the usual social conventions) of marrying.  Except when used historically, spinster has long been thought offensive or at least disparaging.

(2) In law (and still used in some jurisdictions), a woman who has never married.

(3) A person (historically always a woman) whose occupation is the spinning of threads (archaic).

(4) A jocular slang variation of the more common a spin doctor, spin merchant or spin master (one who spins (puts a spin on) a political media story so as to lend a favorable or advantageous appearance.

(5) A woman of evil character who has committed evil deeds, so called from being forced to spin in a house of correction (obsolete).

(6) A spider; an insect (such as a silkworm) which spins thread (a rare, dialectal form).

1325–1375: The construct was spin + -ster.  From the Middle English spynnester & spinnestere (a woman who spins fibre).  The early form combined the Middle English spinnen (spin fibers into thread) with -stere, the Middle English feminine suffix from the Old English -istre, from the Proto-Germanic -istrijon, the feminine agent suffix used as the equivalent of the masculine –ere.  It was used in Middle English also to form nouns of action (meaning "a person who ...") without regard for gender, a use now common in casual adaptations.  Spinster came to be used to describe spinners of both sexes which clearly upset some because by 1640 a double-feminine form had emerged: spinstress (a female spinner) which, 1716 also was being used for "a maiden lady".  Spinster, spinsterishness, spinsterism, spinsterism, spinsterdom, spinstership and spinsterhood are nouns and spinsterish, spinsterly, spinsterlike & spinsteresque are adjectives; the noun plural is spinsters.

The unmarried Lindsay Lohan who would probably have been described as a bachelorette, "Heart Truth Red Dress", Fall 2006 fashion show, Olympus Fashion Week, Manhattan, February 2006.

How prevalent the practice actually was is impossible to say because of the paucity of social histories of most classes prior to the modern age but the public attitude was said to be that unmarried women were supposed to occupy themselves with spinning.  This spread to common law through that typically English filter, the class system.  So precisely was the status of the spinster defined that the cut-off point was actually where one’s father sat in the order of precedence, a spinster "the legal designation in England of all unmarried women from a viscount's daughter downward".  Thus a woman’s father had be on the third rung of the peerage to avoid spinsterhood and that meant to avoid the fate the options were either marriage or to secure him an upward notch (from viscount to earl).  The use in English legal documents lasted from the seventeen until well into the twentieth century and, by 1719, had become the standard term for a "woman still unmarried and beyond the usual age at which it was expected".

A metallic wood-boring beetle (left) and a thornback ray (right).

One alternative to spinster which still shows up in the odd literary novel was the Italian zitella (an older unmarried woman).  Zitella was the feminine form of zitello (an older, unmarried man), which was from zito (a young, unmarried man), from the Neapolitan or Sicilian zitu, both probably related to the Vulgar Latin pittitus (small, worthless).  The feminine form of zito was zita (young unmarried woman) and both in southern Italian dialectical use could be used respectively to mean boyfriend & girlfriend and also a type of pasta (correctly a larger, hollow macaroni but as culinary terms they’ve apparently be applied more liberally).  The Italian zitellaggio (zitellaggi the plural) was the state of spinsterhood, the construct being zitella +‎ -aggio.  The suffix -aggio was from the Latin -āticum, probably via the Old Occitan –atge and was used to form nouns indicating an action or result related to the root verb.  Pleasingly, Zitella is a genus of metallic, wood-boring beetles in the family Buprestidae, containing four species and commonly known as jewel beetles or metallic wood-boring beetles.  Quite why the name was chosen isn’t immediately obvious but it’s not uncommon for genera and species to be named after an individual or a place associated with the discovery.  It’s therefore wholly speculative to suggest a link between an entomologist’s girlfriend and a wood-boring beetle.  Still, even that connection might be preferred to the archaic English form "thornback" (a woman over a certain age (quoted variously as 26 or 30 and thus similar in construction to the modern Chinese Sheng nu (剩女; shèngnǚ) (leftover women) who has never married and in the eighteenth century a thornback was thought "older than a spinster").

The slang “old maid”, referring to either to a spinster of a certain age or one who, although younger, behaves in a similar way (the implication being negative qualities such as fussiness or undesirability) is from the 1520s and the card game of that name is attested by 1831 (though it may now be thought a microaggression).  Bachelorette or the gender-neutral forms “unmarried” or “single” tend now to be preferred.  Spinster is a noun, spinsterish an adjective and spinsterishly an adverb but the most commonly used derived forms were probably the noun spinsterhood and the adjective spinsterlike.  The noun plural is spinsters.

End of spinsterhood.

On Sunday 28 November, Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram her notice of engagement to Bader Shammas (b 1987), an assistant vice president at financial services company Credit Suisse.  At that point Ms Lohan should have been styled as betrothed which is the state of being engaged; the terms fiancé (or fiancée) also used.  By tradition, engagement rings are worn on the left hand.  Fortunately (for Instagram and other purposes), the ring-finger, partially severed in a nautical accident on the Aegean in 2016 was re-attached with some swift micro-surgery, the digit making a full recovery.  The couple's marriage was announced during 2022. 

Bachelorette

Bachelorette (pronounced bach-uh-luh-ret or bach-luh-ret)

(1) An unmarried young woman.

(2) In Canada, a term for a small apartment suitable for a single man (ie can accommodate bed, fridge, TV & microwave).

1935: Some sources date the word from 1895 but it appears more likely bachelor-girl was first seen in 1888 and bachelorette is an American invention first noted in 1935.  The construct was bachelor + ette.  Bachelor (the alternative spellings have included bachelor, batcheler & batchelor) was from the Middle English bacheler, from the Anglo-Norman and Old French bacheler (modern French bachelier), from the Medieval Latin baccalārius & baccalāris.  The ultimate source is murky and strangely, although Old French had bachelette (young girl) in the 1400s, it's something English seems never to have borrowed.  Bachelor proved adaptable and in addition to the familiar modern sense of “a man socially & legally able to marry but as yet unmarried” it’s been used of (1) the lowest grade of degree proper awarded by universities and other tertiary institutes of education, (2) a knight who had no standard of his own, but fought under the standard of another in the field (obsolete), (3) among London tradesmen, a junior member not yet admitted to wear the livery or emblem of the guild (obsolete), (4) a kind of bass, an edible freshwater fish (Pomoxis annularis) of the southern US and (5), as Knight Bachelor, the oldest and now lowest grade of knighthood in the UK’s honors system (and not part of the hierarchy of the orders of chivalry).  The –ette suffix was from the Middle English -ette, a borrowing from the Old French -ette, from the Latin -itta, the feminine form of -ittus.  It was used to form nouns meaning a smaller form of something.  Bachelorette is a noun; the noun plural is bachelorettes.  Unfortunately, the noun bacheloretteness seems not to exist.

Once were spinsters

While a noted bachelorette: Lindsay Lohan, wearing Fendi, at the opening of the re-designed Fendi Boutique, Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, February 2008.  Ms Lohan's wedding was announced in 2022.

Neither bachelor-girl (1888) nor bachelorette (1935) can really be considered proto-feminist because neither replaced spinster; the latter merely re-defined as something applied to older un-married women; in the shifting hierarchy of misogyny, ageism prevailed.  It may thus be thought casual, female-specific ageism, especially because older, un-married men remain described as bachelors even if centenarians.  It’s not clear when spinster came to be thought of as disparaging and offensive but the usage certainly declined with rapidity after World War II and both it and bachelor have effectively been replaced with the gender-neutral single although in English common-law, the older forms lasted until 2005.  There's another quirk.  Middle French had the unrelated bachelette (young girl) which persists in the Modern French bachelière but that applies exclusively to students.  In the narrow technical sense, still sometimes insisted upon in British circles, a more proper neologism would be bacheloress, since -ess is the usual English suffix denoting a female subject, while -ette is a French-origin diminutive suffix, traditionally used to describe something smaller in size.  However, bachelorette was invented in the US where the -ette suffix can indicate a feminine version of a noun without implying a change in size.  In these gender-conscious times, the -ess suffix is anyway falling into disuse due to attempts to neutralize professional terms.  Except for historic references, it’s probably now obsolete and rejecting decadent Western ways, in China, females still unmarried by the age of 25 are classified as "leftover women".

Leftover women

Sheng nu (剩女; shèngnǚ), most often translated as "leftover women" is a phrase (usually considered derogatory), which describes Chinese women who remain unmarried by their late twenties.  First promulgated by the All-China Women's Federation (ACWF) as a promotion of government programmes, it’s been used in other countries but remains most associated with People's Republic of China (PRC).  As a demographic phenomenon, it was once unexpected because the conjunction of the PRC's one-child policy and the disproportionate abortion of female foetuses had led to a distortion in the historic gender balance.  Births in China since the one-child policy was introduced in 1979 have averaged 120 males for every 100 females compared to a global ratio of 103:107.

A bride with four suspected leftovers.

The term appears to have entered common-use in 2005-2006 and seems first to have appeared in the Chinese edition of Cosmopolitan.  Unlike most of Cosmopolitan's editorial content, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) took it seriously and instructed the ACWF (a kind of cross between the CWA (Country Women’s Association) and the PLA (People’s Liberation Army) to publish articles stigmatizing women still unwed by their late twenties, reminding them they have lost face.  Borrowing from Maoist tradition (if not theory), the ACWF provided a useful analysis of the problem, concluding that while “pretty girls” didn’t need much education to find a rich partner, “average or ugly” ones who seek higher degrees thinking it will “increase their competitiveness” in the marriage market are delusional; all that happens is they become old “…like yellowed pearls."  The rhetorical flourishes aside, they had a point.  As the numbers of highly educated women rose, the numbers of potential husbands they found acceptable did not.  What the distorted gender balance created by the one-child policy and the selective-sex abortion preferences had produced was an increasingly educated and middle-class female minority not impressed by a less schooled and more rural male majority.

Geographic distribution of leftover women, People’s Republic of China.

“Leftover women” seemed the choice in print but on the internet, the punchier 3S or 3SW (Single, Seventies (referring to the then prominent 1970s birth cohort) and Stuck) was also used instead of sheng nu.  There is an equivalent term for men, guang gun (bare branches (ie men who do not marry and thus do not add branches to the family tree)); shengnan (leftover men) does exist but is rare.

CCP demographers had expressed concerns about the social and economic implications of the one-child policy as early as the 1990s.  In the new century, the policy was first selectively relaxed, then revised to permit additional children for those selected by the CCP as desirable breeders and, on 31 May 2021, at a meeting of the of the CCP Politburo, the three-child policy (三孩政策) was announced.  The session, chaired by Xi Jinping (b 1953; CCP general secretary 2012- & PRC president 2013-), followed the release of the findings of the seventh national population census which showed the number of births in mainland China in 2020, at twelve million, would be the lowest since 1960, an indication of the demographic trend causing the ageing of the population.  The Xinhua state news agency then announced the three child policy would be accompanied by supportive measures to “maintain China's advantage in human resources” but surveys suggested the section of the population the CCP would like to see produce three children per household were generally unwilling to have even two, the reason overwhelmingly the high cost of living in Chinese cities.  The announcement on 26 July 2021 permitting Chinese couples to have any number of children was thus greeted by most with restrained enthusiasm.

Spat

Spat (pronounced spat)

(1) A petty quarrel; a dispute.

(2) A light blow; a slap or smack (now rare).

(3) A classic footwear accessory for outdoor wear (technically an ankle-length gaiter), covering the instep and ankle, designed to protect these areas from mud & stones etc which might be splattered (almost always in the plural).

(4) In automotive design, a piece of bodywork on a car's fender encapsulating the aperture of the wheel-arch, covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre (almost always on the rear) and used variously to reduce drag or as a aesthetic choice.  In the US, these tend to be called "fender skirts".

(5) In aviation, on aircraft with fixed undercarriages, a partial enclosure covering the upper portion of the wheel & tyre, designed to reduce drag.

(6) In zoology, a larval oyster or similar bivalve mollusc, applied particularly when one settles to the sea bottom and starts to develop a shell; young oysters collectively, especially seed oysters.

1350-1400: From the Middle English spat (argument, minor scuffle), from the Anglo-Norman spat, of unknown origin but presumed related either to (1) being the simple past tense & past participle of spit or (2) something vaguely imitative of the sound of a dispute in progress.  In use, a spat implies a dispute which is minor and brief.  That doesn’t preclude violence being involved but the word does tend to be applied to matters with few serious consequences but a spat can of course escalate to something severe at which point it ceases to be a spat and becomes a brawl, a fight, a murder, a massacre or whatever the circumstances suggest is appropriate.  Otherwise, a spat is synonymous with words like bickering, brouhaha, disagreement, discord, falling-out, feud, squabble, tiff or argument.

As a descriptor of the short gaiter covering the ankle (which except in technical and commercial use is used only in the plural), use dates from 1779 as an invention of American English and a shortening of the trade-terms spatterdash (or splatterguard) (long gaiter to keep trousers or stockings from being spattered with mud), the construct being spatter + dash (or guard), the former the same idea as the noun dashboard which was a timber construction attached to the front of horse-drawn carriages to protect the passengers from mud or stones thrown up when the beasts were at a dash.  In cars, the use of the term dashboard persisted although the device both shifted rearward (aligned with the cowl (scuttle) & windscreen) and changed in function.  In aircraft where the link to horse-drawn transport didn’t exist, the preferred equivalent term became “instrument panel”.

Stanley Melbourne Bruce (front row, second from left) in spats, official photograph of his first cabinet, Melbourne, 1923.

Spats date from a time when walking in cities could be a messy business, paved surfaces far from universal.  As asphalt and concrete became commonplace in the twentieth century, spats fell from frequent use though there were those who clung to them as a fashion accessory.  Stanley Melbourne Bruce (1883–1967; prime minister of Australia 1923-1929) liked spats and wore them as late as the 1940s but historians of fashion note it's said nothing was more influential in their demise than George V (1865–1936; King of the United Kingdom 1910-1936) eschewing them after 1926.

However, despite losing the imprimatur of the House of Windsor (ex Saxe-Coburg and Gotha), when Disney in 1947 created Scrooge McDuck (the world's richest duck, noted for diving into his vast "money bin" to swim among the cash), spats must still have been associated with wealth and uncle Scrooge has almost always been depicted sporting a pair.

Spats (left) and gaiters (centre & right).  Historically, gaiters were either medium (mid-calf) or long (reaching to the knee) while the shorter variations, extending from ankle to instep, were known as spats.  In the fashion industry, the terms gaiters and spats are often used interchangeably and except among the equestrian and other horse-oriented crowds, they now exist only as a fashion item, improvements in the built-environment meaning the need for them as functional devices has diminished.  They days, spats tend to be seen only in places like the Royal Enclosure at Ascot or smart weddings (used as a wealth or class signifier) although variations are still part of some ceremonial full-dress military uniforms.  Technically, a spat probably can be called a “short” or “ankle-length” gaiter but it’s wise to use “spat” because gaiters are understood as extending higher towards the knee.

Lindsay Lohan in SCRAM bracelet (left), the SCRAM (centre) and Chanel's response from their Spring 2007 collection (right).

Spats for the twenty-first century: Before Lindsay Lohan began her “descent into respectability” (a quote from the equally admirable Mandy Rice-Davies (1944-2004) of MRDA fame), Lindsay Lohan inadvertently became of the internet’s early influencers when she for a time wore a court-ordered ankle monitor (often called “bracelets” which etymologically is dubious but rarely has English been noted for its purity).  At the time, many subject to such orders often concealed them under clothing but Ms Lohan made her SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor) a fashion statement, something that compelled the paparazzi to adjust their focal length to ensure her ankle of interest appeared in shots.  The industry responded with its usual alacrity and “ankle monitor” purses were soon being strutted down the catwalks.

Chanel's boot-mounted ankle purse in matching quilted black leather.

In one of several examples of this instance of Lohanic influence on design, in their Spring 2007 collection, Chanel included a range of ankle bags.  Functional to the extent of affording the wearing a hands-free experience and storage for perhaps a lipstick, gloss and credit card (and the modern young spinster should seldom need more), the range was said quickly to "sell-out" although the concept hasn't been seen in subsequent collections so analysts of such things should make of that what they will.  Chanel offered the same idea in a boot, a design actually borrowed from the military although they tended to be more commodious and, being often used by aircrew, easily accessible while in a seated position, the sealable flap on the outer calf, close to the knee.

On the Jaguar 2.4 & 3.4 (1955-1959, top row; later retrospectively named Mark 1), full-sized spats were standard equipment when the standard wheels were fitted but some owners used the cut-down versions (available in at least two designs) fitted when the optional wire wheels were chosen.  For use in competition, almost all drivers removed the spats.  The Mark 2 (bottom row;1959-1969) was never fitted with the full-size units but many used slimmer version available from both the factory and third-party suppliers; again, in competition, spats in any shape were usually discarded.  On the big Jaguars, spats (which had already been scalloped) disappeared after production of the Mark IX ended in 1961.    

On cars, it wasn’t until the 1930s that spats (which some English manufacturers called "aprons" and in the US they came to be called “fender-skirts” though the original slang was “pants”) began to appear as the interest in streamlining and aerodynamic efficiency grew and it was in this era they became also a styling fad which, for better and worse, would last half a century.  They’d first been seen in the 1920s as aerodynamic enhancements on speed record vehicles and some avant-garde designers experimented with enveloping bodywork but it was only late in the decade that the original style of separate mudguards (later called cycle-fenders) gave way to more integrated coachwork where the wheel-arch was an identifiable feature in the modern sense.  Another issue was that the early tyres were prone to wear and damage and needed frequently to be changed, hence the advantage of making access to the wheels un-restricted.  In the 1930s, as streamlining evolved as both a means to reduce drag (thus increasing performance and reducing fuel consumption) and as a styling device, the latter doubtlessly influenced by the former.  On road cars, spats tended to be used only at the rear because of the need to provide sufficient clearance for the front wheels to turn although there were manufacturers (Delahaye, Nash and others) which extended use to the front and while this necessitated compromise (notably the turning circle and cooling of the brakes), there were some memorable art-deco creations.

The aerodynamic advantages were certainly real, attested by the tests conducted during the 1930s by Mercedes-Benz and Auto-Union, both factories using spats front and rear on their land-speed record vehicles, extending the use to road cars although later Mercedes-Benz would admit the 10% improvement claimed for the 1937 540K Autobahn-kurier (highway cruiser) was just “a calculation” and it’s suspected even this was more guesswork than math.  Later, Jaguar’s evaluation of the ideal configuration to use when testing the 1949 XK120 on Belgium roads revealed the rear spats added about 3-4 mph to top speed though they precluded the use of the lighter wire wheels and did increase the tendency of the brakes to overheat in severe use so, like many things in engineering, it was a trade-off.

1958, 1959 & 1960 Chevrolet Impalas.  Not actually wildly popular when new, accessory spats now often appear on restored cars as a “period accessory”.

In the post-war years, concerns with style rather than specific aerodynamic outcomes probably prevailed.  In the US especially, the design motifs borrowed from aircraft and missiles (where aerodynamic efficiency was important and verified in wind tunnels) were liberally applied to automobiles but in some cases, although they actually increased drag, they anyway appeared on production cars because they lent the desired look.  Because they added to the cost of production, spats tended often to be used on the more expensive ranges, this association encouraging after-market accessory makers to produce them, often for models where they’d never been available as a factory fitting or option.  Although now usually regarded as naff (at least), there’s still some demand because they are fitted sometimes (often in conjunction with that other acquired taste period-accessory, the "Continental" spare-tyre kit) by those restoring cars from the era although the photographic record does suggest that when the vehicles were new, such things were vanishingly rare.

Spats vanished from cars made in the UK and Europe except among manufacturers (such as Citroën) which made a fetish of conspicuous aerodynamics and in the US, where they endured, increasingly they appeared in cut-down form, exposing most of the wheel with only the upper part of the tyre concealed.  By the mid 1990s spats appeared only on some of the larger US cars (those by then also down-sized from their mid-seventies peak) and none survived into the new century, the swansong the 1996 Cadillac DeVille.  However, the new age of efficiency did see a resurgence of interest with spats (some actually integrated into the bodywork rather than being detachable) used on some electric and hybrid vehicles where every possible way of optimizing the use of energy is deployed.

1 1937 Mercedes-Benz 540K Autobahn-kurier
2 1937 Mercedes-Benz W125 Rekordwagen
3 1937 Auto-Union Type C Stromlinie
4 1939 Mercedes-Benz W154 Rekordwagen
5 1939 Mercedes-Benz T80 Rekordwagen
6 1940 Mercedes-Benz 770K Cabriolet B
9 1970 Porsche 917 LH
8 1988 Jaguar XJR9

1939 Mercedes-Benz T80, Mercedes-Benz Museum, Stuttgart, Germany.

Designed by Ferdinand Porsche (1875–1951), the Mercedes-Benz T80 was built between 1937-1939 to lay siege to the world land speed record (LSR) but with the outbreak of World War II (1939-1945), the attempt was never made.  It was a single-purpose machine designed to achieve maximum terminal velocity and for that reason, the T80 was an exercise in pure functionalism; not one nut or bolt was used other than for the purpose of ensuring its top speed would be as high as possible.  Cognizant of the existing record, the initial goal was 550 km/h (342 mph) but as others in the late 1930s raised the mark, so were Professor Porsche’s ambitions and when the final specification was set in 1939, the target was 650 km/h (404 mph) (not 750 km/h (466 mph) as is sometimes quoted).  Configured with six wheels, the T80 would have used a supercharged, fuel-injected, 44.5 litre (2716 cubic inch) Daimler-Benz DB 603 inverted V12 aero-engine, an enlarged version of the DB 601 which powered a number of Messerschmitts and other warplanes.  Intended for use in bombers, the T80’s engine was actually the third DB 603 prototype and was initially tuned to generate some 2237 kW (3000 horsepower) on an exotic cocktail of methyl alcohol (63%), benzene (16%), ethanol (12%), acetone (4.4%), nitrobenzene (2.2%), avgas (2%), and ether (0.4%) with MW (methanol-water) injection for charge cooling and as an anti-detonant.  This was more than twice the output of the Hurricanes, Spitfires and Messerschmitts which in 1940 fought the Battle of Britain but Porsche’s calculations suggested 2,574 kW (3,500 hp) would be needed to touch the 650 km/h target and the DB 603 would have been re-tuned to achieve this as an “emergency war rating”.

1939 Mercedes-Benz T80, Mercedes-Benz Museum, Stuttgart, Germany.

Some 8 metres (26 feet) in length with two of the three axles providing drive, the weight when fuelled and crewed was some 2600 kg (2.9 short tons) while the measured coefficient of drag (CD) was reported at 0.18, an impressive figure for such a thing as late as the 1990s and it would have been lower still, had wind-tunnel testing not revealed the need to add two small “winglets” to provide sufficient down-force to ensure the shape didn’t at speed assume the characteristics of an aeroplane and "try to take off" and notably, when in 1964 the Bluebird-Proteus CN7 set the flying mile record at 403.1 mph (648.7 km/h), it was the first LSR machine to include “ground effect” technology to reduce lift.  Fundamentally, the aerodynamics are thought sound although there would be the usual vulnerability to cross-winds, the cause of several deaths in such attempts and the surface conditions of what was a temporarily closed public road would also have been critical; whether the tyre technology of the time would have been adequate under such conditions will never be known.  Had the T80 been run on the long, flat straights of the salt flats in the US (Bonneville) or Australia (Lake Eyre), the prospects of success would have been better but for propaganda purposes (always a theme for the Nazis) the LSR runs had to be on German soil.

Bluebird-Proteus CN7, Lake Eyre, Australia, 1964.

The plan was for the attempt to be staged in January 1940 during what the regime dubbed RekordWoche (Record Week) on a section of the Berlin-Halle-Leipzig autobahn (now part of the A9), closed for the occasion.  The legend is that Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) himself choose the nickname Schwarzer Vogel (Black Bird) but that too may have been propaganda.  The design was all done in the era of slide rules and although some computer work has been applied to emulating the event, there’s no consensus on whether the T80 really would have hit 650 km/h and set the world land speed record (LSR).  As it was, it wasn't until November 1965 that the 650 km/h mark was reached by a machine powered by four fuel injected Chrysler 426 cubic inch (7.0 litre) hemi V8s.  On the Bonneville Salt Flats, it recorded a two-way average of 658.526 km/h (409.277 mph).

Ground effects: 1970 Chaparral 2J (the "sucker car"). 

The most extraordinary vindication of the concept was probably the 1970 Chaparral 2J, built for the Canadian-American Challenge Cup (the Can-Am, a series for unlimited displacement sports cars under the FIA’s minimalist Group 7 rules).  Although using a similar frame and power-plant (the all aluminum, 427 cubic inch (7.0 litre) Chevrolet V8 (ZL1)) as most of its competition, it differed in that the bodywork was rather more rectilinear, the transmission was semi-automatic and, most intriguingly, the use of two small auxiliary engines (Rockwell JLO 247 cm³ two-stroke, two-cylinder units which usually powered snowmobiles).  Unlike the auxiliary engines used in modern hybrids which provide additional or alternative power, what the Rockwells did was drive two fans (borrowed from the M-109 Howitzer, the US Army’s self-propelled 155 mm (6 inch) cannon) which pumped air from underneath at 9650 cfm (cubic feet per minute) (273 m3 per minute), literally sucking the 2J to the road, the technique enhanced by a Lexan (a thermoplastic polymer) skirt which partially sealed the gap between the shell and the road.  The rear spats (integrated into the body-shell) were part of the system, offering not only their usual contribution to reduced drag but increasing the extent of the suction generated by the extractor fans.  The 2J was immediately faster than the competition but the suction system proved fragile although, as a proof of concept it worked and it was clear that only development was needed to debug things.  Unfortunately, innovation and high speeds have always appalled the FIA (the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile which has for decades been international sport’s dopiest regulatory body) and they banned the 2J.  Really, the FIA should give up on motorsport and offer their services to competitive crochet where they can focus on things like pins and needles not being too sharp.

1949 Delahaye 175-S Saoutchik roadster (left), 1967 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special  (centre) & 2016 Rolls-Royce Vision Next 100 (electric) (right).

Fashions change and spats in the post-war years became unfashionable except in the odd market segment which appealed to an older demographic and even there, as the years were by, they were cut-away, revealing more of the wheel & tyre but they never entirely went away and designers with big computers now don’t even need even bigger wind tunnels to optimize airflow and spats have been displayed which are mounted vertically, some even responding to dynamic need by shifting location or direction.

Flown first in 1938 and named after the Spartan admiral Lysander (circa 467-395 BC), the Westland Lysander was a British army co-operation and communications aircraft used extensively during the Second World War (1939-1945).  Although it couldn’t match the extraordinary STOL (short Take-Off & Landing) performance of the its German contemporary the Fieseler Fi 156 Storch, it was capable, robust and had a good enough short-field capability to perform valuable service throughout the conflict.  Like many aircraft with a fixed undercarriage, partially enveloping spats were fitted to reduce drag but those on the Lysander had the unusual feature of being fitted with their own removable spats (similar to those used on automobiles).  Once these were dismounted, assemblies could be fitted to mount either Browning machine guns or stub wings which could carry light bombs or supply canisters.  The arrangement was popular with ground crew because the accessibility made servicing easy and pilots appreciated the low placement because the change in weight distribution had little adverse effect on handling characteristics.

Monitor

Monitor (pronounced mon-i-ter)

(1) A student appointed to assist in the conduct of a class or school, as to help take attendance or keep order (largely obsolete).

(2) A person appointed to supervise students, applicants, etc., taking an examination, chiefly to prevent cheating; proctor.

(3) A person who admonishes, especially with reference to conduct.

(4) Something that serves to remind or give warning.

(5) A device or arrangement for observing, detecting, or recording the operation of a machine or system, especially an automatic control system.

(6) An instrument for detecting dangerous gases, radiation, etc.

(7) A receiving apparatus used in a control room, especially to provide a steady check of the quality of an audio or video transmission.

(8) A similar apparatus placed in various parts of a studio so that an audience can watch a recorded portion of a show, the performer can see the various segments of a program, etc.

(9) Any such receiving apparatus used in a closed-circuit system, as in an operating room.

(10) The screen component of a computer, especially a free-standing screen.

(11) In early computing, a control program which handled the primitive file-loading, essentially a precursor to operating systems.

(12) A type of armored warship of very low freeboard, having one or more turrets and used for coastal defense (now obsolete).

(13) In architecture, a raised construction straddling the ridge of a roof and having windows or louvers for lighting or ventilating a building, as a factory or warehouse.

(14) An articulated mounting for a nozzle, usually mechanically operated, which permits a stream of water to be played in any desired direction, as in firefighting or hydraulic mining (also called giant).

(15) Any of various large predatory lizards of the genus Varanus and family Varanidae, of Africa, southern Asia, the East Indies, and Australia, fabled to give warning of the presence of crocodiles.

(16)  To listen to or observe something.

(17) In Engineering, a tool holder, as for a lathe, shaped like a low turret, and capable of being revolved on a vertical pivot so as to bring the several tools successively into position.

1540-1550: From the Latin monitor (one who warns) from perfect passive participle monitus (warning) from the verb monēre (to remind, bring to (one's) recollection, tell (of); admonish, advise, warn, instruct, teach) from the primitive Indo-European moneie- (to make think of, remind), source also of the Sanskrit manayati (to honor, respect) and the Old Avestan manaiia- (making think), a suffixed (causative) form of the root men- (to think), source also of the Latin memini (I remember, I am mindful of) & mens (mind).  The notion was "one who or that which warns of faults or informs of duties".

The first use in English was to describe a "senior pupil at a school charged with keeping order" (vaguely analogous with the block kapo in a concentration camp), from the Latin monitor (one who reminds, admonishes, or checks," also "an overseer, instructor, guide, teacher).  The lizard picked up the name in 1826 because of the fable in which it was said to give warnings of Nile crocodiles.  The squat, slow-moving ironclad warship was first used in 1862 during the US Civil War, the name chosen by the inventor, Swedish-born U.S. engineer John Ericsson (1803-1889), because it was meant to "admonish" (in the sense of the senior pupil at a school) the Confederate leaders in the U.S. Civil War.

Use in broadcasting dates from 1924 when it meant "a device to continuously check on the technical quality of a radio transmission signals" and it was borrowed in 1931 during the development of early television broadcasts to describe "a TV screen displaying the picture from a particular camera."  It soon came to mean electronic screens of any type.  The general sense of monitoring stuff emerged in 1944 to describe certain wartime intelligence operations.  Interestingly, as early as 1918 the romantic poet John Keats (1795-1821) used it in the sense of "to guide".

Lindsay Lohan in SCRAM bracelet (left), the SCRAM (centre) and Chanel's response from their Spring 2007 collection (right).

A very twenty-first century monitor: Before Lindsay Lohan began her “descent into respectability” (a quote from the equally admirable Mandy Rice-Davies (1944-2004) of MRDA fame), Lindsay Lohan inadvertently became of the internet’s early influencers when she for a time wore a court-ordered ankle monitor (often called “bracelets” which etymologically is dubious but rarely has English been noted for its purity).  At the time, many subject to such orders often concealed them under clothing but Ms Lohan made her SCRAM (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor) a fashion statement, something that compelled the paparazzi to adjust their focal length to ensure her ankle of interest appeared in shots.  The industry responded with its usual alacrity and “ankle monitor” purses were soon being strutted down the catwalks.

Chanel's boot-mounted ankle purse in matching quilted black leather.

In one of several examples of this instance of Lohanic influence on design, in their Spring 2007 collection, Chanel included a range of ankle bags.  Functional to the extent of affording the wearing a hands-free experience and storage for perhaps a lipstick, gloss and credit card (and the modern young spinster should seldom need more), the range was said quickly to "sell-out" although the concept hasn't been seen in subsequent collections so analysts of such things should make of that what they will.  Chanel offered the same idea in a boot, a design actually borrowed from the military although they tended to be more commodious and, being often used by aircrew, easily accessible while in a seated position, the sealable flap on the outer calf, close to the knee.

The Monitors

Monitors were curious looking, relatively small warships which, while neither fast nor heavily armored, carried disproportionately large guns, sometimes a single barrel as large as eighteen inches (460mm).  First used in the US Civil War, they saw service in several navies during both world wars and some were built by the US Navy as late as the 1960s to support costal operations in the Vietnam War.  Essentially a floating gun platform, they could be used only in shallow waters and were thus restricted to river and coastal duties where they were used as shore bombardment vessels.  Monitors have the distinction of firing heavier shells than other warships.

HMS Marshall Ney (1915-1957)

The Royal Navy has a sense of history and maintains in the service a great veneration for her most illustrious ships, names like Dreadnought, Victory & Vanguard often re-used on newer vessels to maintain the links with a history which dates back almost five-hundred years.  One ship not often mentioned in the annals is HMS Marshal Ney, laid down in 1915 as the first of two monitors of her class.  Designed to use 15 inch (380 mm) guns with mounts and turrets which became available when the Admiralty opted to reconfigure the battleships Renown and Repulse as battle cruisers, Marshal Ney and her sister ship Marshal Soult were named in recognition of historically unusual situation of the French being allies rather than enemies.  Built with the same armor as earlier monitors which mounted 12 inch (300 mm) guns, the original plan had been also to use the same well-regarded and reliable engines but an unfortunate decision was taken to use some diesel engines which were otherwise unallocated.  In short order, HMS Marshal Ney would come to be known as “the worst ship in the navy”.

The Vickers engines in the Marshal Soult, though underpowered, were reliable but those in her sister ship, built by the German company of MAN were a disaster, the problems thought a consequence of it being impossible in wartime to employ the German technicians experienced in servicing them or obtain the spare parts needed to fix them.  On the rare occasions the engines successfully started, they rarely ran for long without something “blowing up” and the engineers reports make clear, this expression was literal rather than used in the figurative sense often heard in engine rooms, pieces of shrapnel flying around with disturbing frequency.  Remarkably, there were only minor injuries.  As a result, the navy removed the big gun and installed it on the better performing monitor HMS Terror though in one of the coincidences of war, one of its barrels was on HMS Repulse when she was sunk by the Japanese in 1941.  The Admiralty re-armed the Marshal Ney, firstly with a single 9.2 inch (235 mm) gun and later, six with 6-inch (150 mm) bores but made no attempt to replace the engines, using the ship instead as a floating gun platform in the Channel, towed from port to port as required.  Despite being “the worst ship in the navy”, HMS Marshal Ney had a longer life on the active register than many more storied warships.  After the First World War, she became first a depot vessel and later an accommodation ship, renamed three times between 1922-1947, becoming successively Vivid, Drake and Alaunia II.  She was decommissioned in 1957 and sold for scrap, something which many sailors believed she'd been from the day she was launched.