Elope

Elope (pronounced ih-lohp)

(1) To run off secretly to be married, usually without the consent or knowledge of one's parents.

(2) To run away with a lover.

(3) To leave without permission or notification; escape:

(4) In the slang of geriatric medicine and mental health care (of a person with a mental disorder related to dementia or other cognitive impairment), to leave or run away from a safe area or safe premises.

1300s: From the Middle English alopen (to run away) (from which Anglo-Norman gained aloper) and perhaps influenced by the Middle Dutch lōpen (to run).  The Anglo-Norman aloper (to abduct, to run away from a husband with one’s lover) was from a Germanic source, either the Middle Dutch ontlopen (to run away) or some predecessor thereof.  It was cognate with the German entlaufen (to escape) and the Danish undløbe (to run away).  The sense of "run away in defiance of parental authority to marry secretly" became the standard meaning in the nineteenth century.  The now functionally extinct verb delope did not describe a young couple changing their minds and returning to their families unmarried.  It was unrelated to elope and was from the French déloper (throw away) and meant "to fire a gun into the air in order to end a duel".  Elope is a verb, eloper & elopement are nouns, eloping is a noun & verb and eloped & elopes are verbs; the most common noun plural is elopements.

The Middle Dutch (ont)lopen (run away), from ont- (away from) was from the Proto-Germanic und- (which also gave the first element in until) from the primitive Indo-European root ant- (front, forehead) with derivatives meaning "in front of, before" + lopen (to run) from the Proto-Germanic hlaupan (source also of Old English hleapan) and in support of this etymology, the OED compares Old English uðleapan, the technical word for the “escaping' of a thief”.  However the fourteenth century Anglo-French aloper (run away from a husband with one's lover) does seem the most compelling source.  Of note also is the oldest known Germanic word for "wedding", represented by the Old English brydlop (source also of the Old High German bruthlauft & the Old Norse bruðhlaup (literally "bride run) meaning "the conducting of the woman to her new home”.  Elope is a verb (used without object), eloped & eloping are verbs, elopement and eloper are nouns and the curious uneloped is an adjective.  Words similar in meaning include fly, abscond, skip, leave, decamp, bolt, escape, flee & disappear but, certainly as used today, elope is unique.

Elopement in England and Scotland

The Anglo-Norman aloper was originally a legal term meaning, of a wife, to run away from her husband with a paramour, a court journal from 1338 (during the reign of Edward III) among the earliest known recordings of court proceedings citing the word.  That was noted by John Rastell (circa 1475-1536) and his son, William Rastell (circa 1508-1565) in their 1636 legal textbook which translated what they called “…certaine difficult and obscure Words and Termes of the Common Lawes and Statutes of this Realme” from Old and Middle English into what is still a recognizably modern form.

Elopement they defined as “…when a married woman departeth from her husband with an adulterer, and dwelleth with the adulterer without voluntary reconcilement to her husband, by that she shall lose her dower…”.  They further noted the existence of a legal maxim of the time, in the form of verse:

The woman that her husband leaves

And in adultery leads her life

If that he dye vnreconcil’d

The Law endoweth no such wife

It changed.  From the twelfth to the early nineteenth century, “elope” was used to refer to a wife who had run off with her lover, the meaning shift changing to describe two unmarried lovers running away to marry, a thing which became popular after passage of the Marriage Act (1753) in England which required those under twenty-one to obtain their parents’ permission to marry.  Marriages being not infrequently arranged by parents with daughters’ opinions either ignored or un-sought, flights from undesired unions became frequent.  An unintended consequence of the Act was the boost to Scottish tourism.  Scotland’s legal system was, and remains, separate from that of England and not only waived parental consent but permitted marriage between girls of twelve and boys of fourteen so there was a happy conjunction between the push from the south and the pull from the north.  A sudden spike in young English lovers hastening over the border to marry ensued.  

Just across the English-Scottish border lay the village of Gretna Green which, improbably, became the Las Vegas of the era.  Under Scottish customary practice, village blacksmiths were known also as “anvil priests”, empowered to perform “anvil weddings” at their forge.  Under pressure from both London and the Scottish church, in 1856 Scottish marriage laws were amended to try to stem the flow of elopements, requiring a couple to live in a parish for three weeks prior to the ceremony, twenty-one days ample time for families to reclaim runaways.  Scottish commerce however rose to the occasion, offering three-week (room & meals) packages with what hotels now call “silent bookings” (anonymity).  Business continued.

A residual of these times remains in Scottish law, a twenty-one day notice of marriage still required although the residency requirement has been repealed and bride and groom now have to be over sixteen to marry.  Still in the business after two-hundred and sixty years, the Old Blacksmith's Shop in Gretna Green village continues to conduct anvil weddings although there's apparently no guarantee the celebrant will be a genuine blacksmith, those of that profession not now so numerous.  Experiencing something of a post COVID-19 boom, bookings are essential.

It's a changing world and the traditional reasons for elopement now generally less prevalent, the word “elope” has been re-purposed.  When the site SheKnows commented on the path to Lindsay Lohan's nuptials: “They got engaged in November 2021 before eloping in July 2022.”, they appeared to vest "elope" with a very modern sense.  The implication seems to be if a pop-culture figure's wedding happens without being packaged as a photo collection and video stream sold to whichever outlet is (1) thought appropriate and (2) willing to pay the asking price, that’s an elopement.  That sounds right and reflects the wider net cast by contemporary celebrity culture, the modern apparatus of distribution meaning such folk now have millions from whom to elope.