Slurp

Slurp (pronounced slurp)

(1) To ingest (food or drink) with loud sucking noises (verb).

(2) An intake of food or drink with a noisy sucking sound (noun).

1640-1650: From the Middle Dutch slurpen & slorpen (to sip, slurp), from the Old Dutch slurpen, from the Proto-Germanic slarpaną (to sip, slurp), from the primitive Indo-European srebh- & srobh- (to sip, slurp, gulp).  It was cognate with the West Frisian slurvje (to slurp), the German schlürfen (to sip, slurp), the Swedish slurpa (to slurp), the Middle High German sürfeln & sürpfeln (to sip, slurp) and the Latin sorbeō (to suck up, imbibe, absorb).  All are thought onomatopoeic and the related forms are slurped & slurping.  The Dutch slurpen is thought to be of imitative origin, probably from the German schlürfen or (more improbably) some other Germanic form.  The intransitive sense was in use by at least 1917 but the noun, derived from the verb, seems not to have existed before 1949.  The slurpee (as Slurpee) was originally a registered trademark but it has long since descended to the generic.  A slurpee is a a partially-frozen drink made of small ice crystals and flavored with sugar-rich, artificially colored and flavored syrup, the alternative names around the planet including slushie, ICEE (pronounced icy), slush, slosh & the trade-marked Slush Puppie.  Slurp is a noun & verb, slurper is a noun, slurpy is an adjective, slurping & slurped are verbs; the noun plural is slurps.

Ending badly

Although probably misleadingly-named, the Big Bang is the preferred explanation for the origin of the universe in its present form.  There are a number of competing theories for how it will all end; all are big but the only one immediately threatening is the Big Slurp.

The Big Freeze suggests the universe will continue to expand until it runs out of energy and everything approaches a temperature of absolute zero.  Opinion is divided about what follows ranging from eternal, frozen darkness to a contraction (on some basis) back to a singularity, perhaps to await the next Big Bang.  The big freeze is quite compatible with speculative multiverse & multiple-universe models. 

In the Big Rip, the density of dark energy increases with time, causing the rate of acceleration to increase so that all matter disintegrates, ripped apart by dark energy.  The universe becomes a singularity as the dark energy density and expansion rate becomes infinite.

The Big Crunch hypothesis is a symmetric construct.  The notion is that at some point the Big Bang ceases to expand (although light, energy etc may still be be present) and begins contracting until it collapses again into a dimensionless singularity.  From this, another Big Bang could happen and the process may be cyclical, happening repeatedly; time a kind of return to forever.  The theory received much support but current evidence also indicates (according to some) the universe is not closed so variations on the model are being built.

The Big Bounce imagines an oscillatory universe which is a cyclic repetition interpretation of the Big Bang where the first cosmological event was the result of the collapse of a previous universe.  This depends on the early universe being infinitely dense and, developed to its logical conclusion, contradicts basic physics although, given the conditions immediately prior to the Big Bang aren’t known, this needn’t invalidate the theory.

Big Slurp theory posits the universe exists in a false vacuum and could at any moment become a real vacuum.  Also known as false vacuum collapse or vacuum decay theory, the big slurp is highly technical and understanding it requires knowledge of some arcane concepts in physics.  Not easily explained, slurp theory is a speculative exercise in imagining the nature of the vacuum in which the universe exists and its relationship to background energy.  If a vacuum is not in its lowest energy state, it’s a false vacuum which could transform into a lower energy state, hence the label "vacuum decay".  There would be consequences for the universe but they’re unpredictable.  Matter, energy, and spacetime would be affected and it’s possible the entire structure of the universe could instantaneously, at any time, be destroyed at which point time would presumably stop and given that as far as is known, the Big Bang is the only known mechanism by which time can start, whether anything could happen next is uncertain because there would be no "next".

Lindsay Lohan enjoying a Slurpee, New York City, 2014.