Invasion

Invasion (pronounced in-vey-zhuhn)

(1) A military action consisting of armed forces of one (usually geopolitical) entity entering territory controlled by another such entity, generally with the objective of conquering territory & altering or overthrowing an established government.

(2) The entrance or advent of anything troublesome or harmful, as disease; the entry without consent of an individual, group or species into an area where they are not wanted.

(3) Entrance as if to take possession or overrun.

(4) Infringement by intrusion.

(5) In pathology, the spread of cancer from its point of origin into surrounding tissues.

(6) In Botany, the movement of plants to a new area or to an area to which they are not native.

(7) In surgery, the breaching of the skin barrier.

1400–1450: From the late Middle English, From the Middle French invasion from the Late Latin invāsiōnem, accusative of invāsiō, from invāsus, past participle of invādō, the construct being in- (in, into) +‎ vādō (I go, rush).  Invāsus was the past participle of invādere + -iōn-.  The noun was from the mid-fifteenth century Middle English invasioun (an assault, attack, act of entering a country or territory as an enemy), from the twelfth century Old French invasion (invasion, attack, assault), from the Late Latin invasionem (nominative invasio) (an attack, invasion), the noun of action from the past-participle stem of invadere (to go, come, or get into; enter violently, penetrate into as an enemy, assail, assault, make an attack on), the construct being in- (in) from the primitive Indo-European root en- (in)) + vadere (to go, to walk, go hastily) from the primitive Indo-European root wadh- (to go) (source also of the Old English wadan (to go) and the Latin vadum (ford).  Of the meanings in the extended senses, of diseases it referred to "a harmful incursion of any kind; with reference to rights etc, it was about "infringement by intrusion, encroachment by entering into or taking away what belongs to another".

The later noun incursion (hostile attack) dates from the early fifteenth century, from the fourteenth century Old French incursion (invasion, attack, assault) or directly from the Latin incursionem (nominative incursio) (a running against, hostile attack), the noun of action from past participle stem of incurrere (run into or against, rush at).  Although in practice often synonymous with invasion, “incursion” is often in a specifically military context used to distinguish a operation which is either a prelude to or a distinct part of an invasion.  It’s a practice of historians rather than a convention of use and is one of a number of words used to describe the mechanics of an invasion including: aggression, assault, breach, infiltration, infringement, intrusion, offensive, onslaught, raid, violation, entrenchment, foray, infraction, inroad, irruption, maraud, offense & transgression.

The (second) Italian invasion of Ethiopia

Italy’s invasion in of Abyssinia (Ethiopia) in 1935 was a curious business.  Conceived by the Duce (Benito Mussolini (1883-1945, prime-minister of Italy 1922-1943) as the means by which his country might acquire a colony of note, a rightful thing he thought denied by the ineptness of previous regimes in Rome and the unfairness of the treaty of Versailles from which Italy had gained so little from the spoils of victory to which she’d made a slight contribution.  In his mind too was the memory of the last Italian adventure in East Africa when in 1896 the Ethiopians had inflicted upon the would-be conquerors from Europe a brutal defeat on the battlefield at Adowa, seared in the memory of the Italian army as the headline “Ten-thousand dead and seventy-two cannon lost”.  Looking first at the map of the old Roman Empire, then the splendid possessions held by Britain and France and finally the few sparse deserts which made up “his” empire, the Duce decided on an African conquest.  Even in 1935 it was seen in other European capitals as an unfashionable venture, the idea of the conquest of other people’s lands no longer the respectable thing to do and there was an increasing awareness that nor was it any longer the profitable thing to do.  Mussolini however was convinced and embarked on what proved to be imperialism’s last great set-piece crusade.

David Low (1981-1963), 1936.

The world of 1935 however was a different place than that of the nineteenth century.  Not only was Ethiopia internationally recognized (including by Italy) as a sovereign, independent state but it was also a member of the League of Nations (1920-1946), the predecessor of the United Nations (UN), formed in an attempt to ensure there could never be another world war, the mechanisms of resolving conflict listed in its covenant. Central to the covenant was collective security and the settling of international disputes through negotiation and arbitration.  The League’s approach did not much commend itself the Mussolini who announced Ethiopia presented a military threat to the neighboring Italian possessions of Eritrea and Italian Somaliland and that anyway his historic destiny was to fulfil a civilizing mission which would “…help Africa to progress from its primitive state.”

David Low, 1936

Obviously the League of Nations could not countenance one of its members invading another and the Britain’s foreign secretary, Sir Samuel Hoare (later Viscount Templewood, 1880–1959; UK Foreign Secretary 1935), making what may have been the finest speech the unfortunate assemble ever heard, declared the UK was wholly committed to the principle of collective security and that acts of unprovoked aggression strenuously would be resisted.  Hoare’s principled stand lasted as long as the next cabinet meeting in London and as quickly it became clear that member nations of the League would not be imposing any economic or diplomatic sanctions which had any substantive effect, let alone threaten a military response, Mussolini invaded.  Able to deploy aircraft, chemical weapons, heavy artillery, tanks and other armored vehicles, the Italians slowly secured victory, culminating in the battle of Amba Aradam, the biggest and bloodiest battle of the imperial era.

David Low, 1936.

By then Hoare had been forced from office by the public outcry over his back-channel deal with the palindromic Pierre Laval (1883–1945, French prime minister 1935-1936 and later executed for his role in the Vichy administration (1940-1944)) which, although in the tradition of the League’s earlier acts of conciliation in the far east, is better remembered as a preview of the later techniques of appeasement which so failed to satisfy Hitler.  What Hoare and Laval had agreed was a deal under which two-thirds of Ethiopia would be ceded to Italy in exchange for the Ethiopians being granted a land-corridor to a nearby port.  Both the belligerents actually anyway rejected the deal and Hoare was the sacrificial scapegoat for a plan which had the cabinet’s support.

The affair revealed the European democracies as divided and the League of Nations as ineffectual and doomed.  Although the League would continue to talk, few now listened as Europe drifted to war and after hostilities began, the organization went into abeyance except for a skeleton administrative structure which ticked-over until the League was dissolved in 1946.  Of the many speeches made after the Italian invasion, the only one still remembered is that made in June 1936 the Emperor Haile Selassie I (1892–1975; Emperor of Ethiopia 1930-1974) in which he condemned the league for its inaction, prophesized war and warned the assembled delegates “It is us today.  It will be you tomorrow.”

Conglomerate & Agglomerate

Conglomerate (pronounced kuhn-glom-er-it or kuhng-glom-er-it (noun & adjective) and kuhn-glom-uh-reyt or kuhng-glom-uh-reyt (verb))

(1) Anything composed of heterogeneous materials or elements; mass.

(2) A corporation consisting of a number of subsidiary companies or divisions in a variety of unrelated industries, usually as a result of merger or acquisition.

(3) A coarse-grained sedimentary rock consisting of round rock fragments cemented together by hardened silt, clay, calcium carbonate, or a similar material. The fragments (clasts) have a diameter of at least 2 mm (0.08 inches), vary in composition and origin, and may include pebbles, cobbles, boulders, or fossilized seashells. Conglomerates often form through the transportation and deposition of sediments by streams, alluvial fans, and glaciers.

(4) Gathered into a rounded mass; consisting of parts so gathered; clustered.

(5) Consisting of heterogeneous parts or elements.

(6) Of or relating to a corporate conglomerate.

(7) In geology, of the nature of a conglomerate.

(8) To bring together into a cohering mass.

(9) To gather into a ball or rounded mass.

1565–1575: From the Latin conglomerātus, past participle of conglomerāre (to roll-up), from glomerāre (to wind into a ball), the construct being con- + glomer- (stem of glomus) (ball of yarn or thread) + -ātus (-ate).  The prefix con- was from the Middle English con-, from the Latin con-, from the preposition cum (with), from the Old Latin com, from the Proto-Italic kom, from the primitive Indo- European ḱóm (next to, at, with, along).  It was cognate with the Proto-Germanic ga- (co-), the Proto-Slavic sъ(n) (with) and the Proto-Germanic hansō.  It was used with certain words to add a notion similar to those conveyed by with, together, or jointly or with certain words to intensify their meaning and, later, to indicate being made from or bringing together of several objects.  The suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate & senate).  Those that came to English via French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or later to indicate the long vowel.  It can also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as desolate, moderate & separate).  Again, often they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after circa 1400; a doublet of –ee.  Related forms include conglomeratic, conglomeritic, conglomerated, conglomerating, conglomerateur, conglomeration & conglomeratize.

Agglomerate (pronounced uh-glom-uh-reyt (adjective & noun) and uh-glom-er-it (noun))

(1) To collect or gather into a cluster or mass.

(2) Gathered together into a cluster or mass.

(3) In botany, crowded into a dense cluster, but not cohering.

(4) In geology, a mass of angular volcanic fragments united by heat; distinguished from conglomerate.

(5) In meteorology, an ice-cover of floe formed by the freezing together of various forms of ice.

1675-1685: From the Latin agglomerātus, past participle of agglomerāre, the construct being ad- (to) + -glomerāre (to wind or add into a ball), from glomus (a ball; a mass), from globus (genitive glomeris), (a ball of yarn) of uncertain origin.  Related forms are the adjective agglomerative, the nouns agglomerator & agglomeration and the verbs (used with or without object), agglomerated & agglomerating.  The intransitive sense "grow into a mass" dates from 1730.

Conglomerate rocks are those compose of mostly rounded, gravel-size clasts, a matrix of finer grained sediments, such as sand, silt or compressed clay filling the gaps between the clasts, the form held together with calcium carbonate, iron oxide, silica, or hardened clay which acts as a natural cement.

Agglomerate rocks are large, coarse fragments associated with the lava flow ejected during explosive volcanic eruptions.  Although they resemble sedimentary conglomerates, agglomerates consist almost wholly of angular or rounded lava fragments of varying size and shape. Fragments are usually poorly sorted in a matrix, or appear in a mix of volcanic dust or ash that has turned to stone.

An agglomeration of Lindsay Lohan magazine covers.

Sonder

Sonder (pronounced sonn-duh)

The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as one’s own. 

2012: Coined by John Koenig and thus entered English.  From the Middle French sonder, from the Old French sonder (to plumb), from sonde (sounding line), from the Old English sund ((sounding), as in sundġierd (sounding-rod)), sundlīne (sounding-line, lead) & sundrāp (sounding-rope, lead), from sund (ocean, sea), from the Proto-Germanic sundą (a swim, body of water, sound), from the primitive Indo-European swem (to be unsteady, swim) and cognate with the Old Norse sund (swimming; strait, sound).  The words which most obviously capture the meaning are probably the modern German sonder (special) and the modern French sonder (to probe).

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows (Simon & Schuster (2021) pp 288, ISBN13: 9781501153648) is a multi-media project by John Koenig, encompassing a website, YouTube channel and, since 2021, a printed book.  Koenig’s purpose is to coin and define neologisms for emotions which, in English, do not have a single encapsulating word or brief phrase, the entries listed on the website and the companion volume with paragraph-length descriptions while the YouTube channel includes illustrative clips.  Koenig does not use free-form construction; not arbitrary, his words are crafted in a way not dissimilar to the manner in which English has for more than a thousand years created or absorbed words as they proved useful, his research exploring etymologies, prefixes, suffixes, and word roots.  Some may endure and some not, just how English has always evolved; for better or worse, not all tongues enjoy such linguistic promiscuity.

#freckles Opia: Looking into the eyes of Lindsay Lohan.

So there’s nothing unusual about the creation of words although in English, they’ve tended to be invented to describe new things (eg motherboard), fantastical imaginings (eg Lewis Carroll’s (1835—1898) Jabberwocky (1871)) or for literary purposes such as the whole lexicon created by Anthony Burgess (1917–1993) for A Clockwork Orange (1962).  It differs too from English’s traditional borrowing of foreign words if they do a more elegant job than that which in English demands a phrase and thus borrowed are zeitgeist (spirit of the age), schadenfreude (pleasure in the suffering of others) and fuselage (main body of an airframe).  Koenig decided to create the dictionary because, as a poet, he found the words needed to suit the rhythm of his verse simply didn’t exist.  In engineering or many other fields his approach would be uncontroversial but there may be poets (there certainly will be critics) who disapprove and suggest it’s cheating for one to create new words just because one can’t think a way to use one of the hundreds of thousands English already has.  In a similar vein, JRR Tolkien (1892–1973) criticized CS Lewis’ (1898–1963) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, the first of the seven volumes of The Chronicles of Narnia (1950–1956).  On more substantive grounds he’d issued a critique of the heavy-handed way Lewis interpolated Christian themes but his letters also reveal he rather looked down of what he thought was cheating or at least literary laziness: Tolkien took years to construct his geography; Lewis just said there was a door in the back of a wardrobe.

Fragments from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Adronitis: The frustration induced by the time it takes to get to know another.

Ambedo: A moment so mesmerizing, so enchanting, that one is compelled to experience it for its own sake.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which all are talking and none are listening.

Anemoia: A nostalgic longing for a time one has never known.

Chrysalism: The feeling of an amniotic envelopment if safe and warm inside while outside a thunderstorm rages.

Ellipsism: The sadness of knowing one will never know how history unfolds.

Énouement: The bitter-sweetness of having arrived in the future and knowing how things turned out but not being able to warn one's younger self.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up speaking of certain things because others never understand.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation conduced wholly in one's own mind.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place usually bustling but now deserted and silent.

Koinophobia: The fear of living an ordinary life.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion induced by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: A desire to be struck by disaster.

Liberosis: The desire to care less.

Lutalica: The realization one doesn’t need a label to belong.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable to push away all, even those usually close to one.

Monachopsis: A subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Nodus Tollens: The realization the track of one's life no longer makes sense.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of one in the universe.

Olēka: The awareness of how few days are truly memorable.

Onism: The awareness of how little of the world one will experience.

Opia: Of the ambiguity of brief, intense eye contact and our reaction to it happening.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of the beat of one's own heart.

Rűckkehrunruhe: Realizing a recent, intense, immersive experience is rapidly fading from memory.

Socha: The hidden vulnerabilities in those around you.

Sonder: The realization that each random passer-by is living a life as vivid and complex as one’s own.

Vellichor: The gentle charm of shops which sell old books.

Vemődalen: The frustration felt when having composed an extraordinary photograph, one discovers a myriad of similar images already exist.

Yù Yī: A desire to again experience intensely.

Shibboleth

Shibboleth (pronounced shib-uh-lith or shib-uh-leth)

(1) A belief, principle, or practice which is commonly adhered to but which is thought by some people to be inappropriate or out of date.

(2) A custom, phrase, or use of language that acts as a test of belonging to, or as a stumbling block to becoming a member of, a particular social class, profession etc.

(3) A slogan; catchword.

Circa 1300s: From the Hebrew שִׁבֹּלֶת (shibbólet) (ear of grain (the part of a plant containing grain, such as the head of a stalk of wheat or rye) (and more rarely "stream, flood or torrent")).  The word was used as a password by the Gileadites as a test to detect the fleeing Ephraimites, who could not pronounce the sound sh (Judges 12:4–6).  From this emerged by the 1630s the figurative sense of "watchword", the additional meaning "outmoded slogan still adhered to" noted by 1862.

The Ephraimites and the Gileadites

The story behind the word is in the Old Testament’s Book of Judges (12:1-15).  In ancient Hebrew, shibboleth translated literally as “ear of grain” (stream, flood or torrent in some translations), some groups pronouncing it with a "sh" sound, but speakers of related dialects pronounced it with a hard s.

In the story, two Semitic tribes, the Ephraimites and the Gileadites, fight a great battle.  The Gileadites defeat the Ephraimites, and set up a blockade across the Jordan River to catch the fleeing Ephraimites who were trying to get back to their territory.  The sentries asked each person who wanted to cross the river to say the word shibboleth. The Ephraimites, who had no "sh" sound in their language, pronounced the word with a hard s and were thereby unmasked as the enemy and slaughtered.

12:4 Then Jephthah gathered together all the men of Gilead, and fought with Ephraim: and the men of Gilead smote Ephraim, because they said, Ye Gileadites are fugitives of Ephraim among the Ephraimites, and among the Manassites.

12:5 And the Gileadites took the passages of Jordan before the Ephraimites: and it was so, that when those Ephraimites which were escaped said, Let me go over; that the men of Gilead said unto him, art thou an Ephraimite? If he say Nay;

12:6 Then said they unto him, Say now Shibboleth: and he said Sibboleth: for he could not frame to pronounce it right. Then they took him, and slew him at the passages of Jordan: and there fell at that time of the Ephraimites forty and two thousand.

As a technique to identify foreigners, the use may have predated  the biblical tale of the Gileadites and Ephraimites and there are many instances in history.  The Italians used the test-word cicera (chick pease) to identify the French during the massacre called the Sicilian Vespers (1282).  

1941 Chrysler New Yorker Three Passenger Coupe.

During WWII, while conducting training exercises on Pavuvu and Guadalcanal, the Marines improved battlefield security not with a password, but by an identification procedure described as "sign and countersign", the technique being sequentially to interrogate an unknown friend or foe with the name of an automobile which required the "L" sound in vocalization.  The response was required to be a cognomen for another automobile uttered in the same manner and in an accent definitely American; those who answered call out "Chryswer" or "Cadiwac" likely to be shot.

A loaf of Ukranian palyanitsa.

The ancient use of a shibboleth to allow the detection of enemies within was revived in 2022 during the Russian invasion of Ukraine.  Ukrainians, if suspecting someone might be a Russian, challenge them to say the word “palyanitsa”, a soft wheat bread with a crispy crust, natives of the two nations pronouncing it differently and it's said to be difficult for Russians to master the Ukrainian form. 

Soupçon

Soupçon (pronounced soop-sawn)

(1) A slight trace, dash, hint, modicum or vestige, as of a certain taste or flavour; a very small amount; a hint; a trace, slight idea; an inkling.

(2) A suspicion; a suggestion (dated; now rare).

1766: From the Middle French soupçon (suspicion), from the twelfth century Old French sospeçon (suspicion, worry, anxiety) derived from the Medieval Latin suspectiōnem & suspectiōn (stem of suspectiō), from the Classical Latin suspīciō (suspicion) and a doublet of the now obsolete suspection.  In Late Latin, the word seems to have evolved as suspectionem although there no consensus among etymologists.  It is not a doublet of suspicion although such use has been seen.

In English, use of soupçon spiked after the French Revolution (1789), something owed less to literature than to political pamphleteers and technical writers such as the authors of cookbooks.  It tended to decline in the twentieth century and beyond as the fashion for the interpolation of obviously foreign words faded, especially when English offered so many well-known and serviceable synonyms (although more than a soupcon of those enjoyed a recent foreign past): crumb, drop, pinch, scintilla, shred, bit, smidgen, trace, whiff, dab, dash, hint, iota, particle, speck, suggestion, tinge, whisper, modicum & vestige.  Although there will always be those inclined to “drop it in” wherever possible, it’s probably most natural in English if writing of something French, a recipe, a style, a cut, an era et al although not all approve of “Gallicisms”.  In his A Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1926), Henry Fowler (1858–1933) noted the evolution of English had for centuries depended on the absorption of “…words and phrases that were once Gallicisms but, having prospered, are no longer recognizable as such; and of the number now on trial, some will doubtless prosper in like manner” and commended “...the conversational usage of educated people in general, not… predilections or a literary fashion of the moment.”

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011.

Shampoo

Shampoo (pronounced sham-poo)

(1) To wash the head or hair, especially with a cleaning preparation that does not leave a soap film.

(2) To clean rugs, upholstery, or the like with a special preparation.

(3) To massage (archaic); originally a traditional Indian and Persian body massage given after pouring warm water over the body and rubbing it with extracts from herbs.

(4) A (usually liquid or cream) preparation used for shampooing, especially one that does not leave a soap film.

1762: From the Hindi चाँपो (cā̃po), imperative form of चाँपना (cā̃pnā) (to press, knead), from the Sanskrit root चपयति (capayati) (to pound, knead or smooth).  Under the Raj, the original anglicized form was champo (later champoo) from the Hindi chāmpo (to massage), an inflected form of chāmpnā (to knead; literally “to press”) itself derived from the Sanskrit root चपति (chapati or capayati), which meant “to press, knead, or soothe”.  Under the Raj, the word the word initially referred to any type of pressing, kneading, or soothing with the definition extended to mean “wash the hair” by 1860.  Although people had for centuries been using a variety of soapy preparations, it was in 1954 that the first packaged products (initially for domestic rather than commercial use) called “carpet shampoo” appeared.  Shampoo is a verb or a noun, shampooer is a noun and the other verbs (used with object) are shampooed & shampooing; the accepted adjective is shampooed but the inventive shampooish has been noted.

Cultures since antiquity have made shampoo using mixtures of herbs and extracts from vegetation, the mix dictated by what was available for harvest in the local area or through trade and in India, a favorite formula was that concocted by boiling an extract of the fruit of the Sapindus, mixed with fragrant herbs.  Sapindus is a tree which grows across the Indian sub-continent and under the Raj came to be known as the soapberry or soapnut, the extract of which when mixed with water created a soap-like lather know as phenaka.  Widely used to wash the hair and mixed with a variety of herbs which lent both fragrance and color, it was this which traders and colonial officials brought back to Europe where the idea evolved into packaged  "champoo" although prior to that, "shampooing" centres were opened although these focused on shampoo in the sense of "massage", conducted in conjunction with "vapor baths", based on the idea popular at the time that breathing in certain preparations was most efficacious in the treatment of many ailments.  The word "champoo" didn't long endure and by the early twentieth century, "shampoo" was the accepted spelling, the early shampoos little more than mild, liquid detergents but by the 1930s, synthetic surfactants had begun to replace the soap component.  Many claims are made for modern shampoos and conditioners but there are hairdressers who claim nothing is as good for achieving shiny, bouncy hair than pure aloe vera gel, squeezed straight from a freshly-cut leaf; some use it as a substitute for conditioner while others mix it with a mild liquid soap.

Wikihow have published a guide for those seeking to achieve the classic Lindsay Lohan look, including the hair.  Those who want the look might be tempted to try GHD’s Oracle which uses as U-shaped clamp, with one cooling plate on top and ceramic heater plates on each arm to maintain the temperature at 365˚f (185˚c), the design innovation meaning the heated hair is cooled before leaving the styler; GHD say it helps set curls in place.  Stylists note the advantage but say that because of the way it interacts with the moisture left in the hair after washing, the extent to which the hair is dried should vary according to hair type and users may need to experiment to determine what works best.

Step 1: Wash with shampoo and conditioner.  As a general principle it's best to shampoo in two sessions, the first removing the layer of oil & dirt which inevitably attaches to the strands, the second to allow the cleansing of the whole scalp and take advantage of any properties the shampoo may offer.  Some manufacturers describe the properties as "nourishing" and this needs to be read-down (hair being dead tissue), but the health of the scalp and hair roots can be improved.  The need for the double-shampoo technique does vary with the environment, it being less beneficial for those who wash their hair every day but valuable for those who spend their days in areas with high levels of atmospheric pollution.  Either way, when shampooing, focus on the roots, massaging with the finger-tips; this will result in the cleanest hair.  When finished, take time to ensure all shampoo is rinsed from the hair and when conditioning, use a generous amount to ensure there's enough to swamp all the hair, gently massaging as it's applied.  For the length of time the conditioner is left on the hair, manufacturers do vary in their recommendations and it best to follow their instructions but there's probably little benefit in conditioning for more than a couple of minutes.

Step 2: Gently towel-dry the hair; a fluffy cotton towel is best and it's necessary to dry it only to the point where the water stops dripping.  Then blow-dry, using the coolest setting on the dryer and dry only partially, the hair left moist to the touch.

Step 3: Apply some root-pump, working the hair through the fingers and using the finger-tips to push at the roots.  Despite what some say about this "increasing volume", it has no such effect and is simply a form of scalp massage, said to increase blood flow to the roots which may well be beneficial.

Step 4: Once the hair is completely dry, use a styling iron (sometimes called a curling or straightening iron).  Section the hair into 3-6 parts depending on volume and when parting, gather the hair and put each in an elastic band.

Step 5: Start curling the hair just below the elastic.  The placement of the elastic band determines the outcome of the curls so it should be tied higher or lower depending on desired effect.  For the Lindsay Lohan look, the curls need to be very loose.

Step 6: Product: The classic Lindsay Lohan look is achieved with a surprisingly small dose of hairspray, the hair gently teased with a wide-toothed comb. the operative word gently; less is more.  It's a specific look, quite long-lasting and easy to maintain, the volume maintained with little more than a running of the fingers through to the top of the hair, re-separating the curls.

Blondes have more shampoo.  John Frieda blonde shampoo range.

Intelligence

Intelligence (pronounced in-tel-i-juh-ns)

(1) Capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.

(2) Describing the manifestation of a high mental capacity.

(3) The faculty of understanding.

(4) Knowledge of an event, circumstance, etc., received or imparted; news; information.

(5) The gathering or distribution of information, especially secret information; the evaluated conclusions drawn from such information; an organization or agency engaged in gathering such information.

(6) The interchange of information.

(7) In the sect of Christian Science, a fundamental attribute of God, or infinite Mind; an intelligent being or spirit, especially an incorporeal one, as an angel.

(8) News or information (now obsolete except as applied to the military, government or others who practice espionage).

(9) As used in intelligence quotient (IQ) tests, refers to an individual's relative standing on two quantitative indices, namely measured intelligence, as expressed by an intelligence quotient, and effectiveness of adaptive behavior.

1350-1400: From the Middle English intelligence (the highest faculty of the mind, capacity for comprehending general truths (and later "faculty of understanding, comprehension")), from the Old French intelligence, from Latin intelligentia & intellegentia (understanding, knowledge, power of discerning; art, skill, taste), from intelligentem (nominative intelligens) (discerning, appreciative), present participle of intelligere (to understand, comprehend, come to know),from intellegere (to discern, comprehend (literally “ choose between”)), the construct being inter-, (between, amid), a form of prepositional inter (between)+ legere (to choose), from the primitive Indo-European root leg- (to collect, gather (with derivatives meaning "to speak; to pick out words)) or the Proto-Italic legō (to care).

The meaning “superior understanding, sagacity, quality of being intelligent” is from the early 1400s and the particular application to spies dates from later that century although at much the same time it was applied in general to "information received or imparted; news". The word assumed its modern meaning (being endowed with understanding or knowledge) in late 1300s, influenced by the use in Old French where it had existed since the twelfth century.  The first formerly structured intelligence quotient (IQ) tests were conducted in 1921.  Intelligential is the adjective and intel the usual abbreviation.

Military Intelligence

The record of military intelligence during World War I (WWI, 1914-1918) was mixed and the troops would joke there were three types of intelligence: human, animal & military.  It was during WWI that some British military intelligence units began to pick up their familiar identification codes (M(ilitary) I(ntelligence)1, MI4, MI5 etc).  MI5 and MI6 remain well-known, thanks to Ian Fleming (1908–1964; the former naval intelligence officer who wrote the James Bond novels) and other writers but there were many other MIs, researchers uncovering amidst the alpha-numeric soup references to entities up to MI25 but not all existed at the same time and most have long since been either disestablished or folded into MI5, MI6 or GCHQ (Government Communications Headquarters; the UK government's clearing house for signals intelligence (SIGINT)) in the post-war years.

Artificial Intelligence: A random eight AI generated images of Lindsay Lohan.  

The records are occasionally contradictory but researchers have synthesized what are thought to be the most reliable sources and the list has been little amended since first it was published in the late 1990s.  The list should not however be misinterpreted; some of the MIx entries identified better thought of as project codes for operations which were, either at once or shortly after their creation, appended to other departments rather than becoming or remaining distinct entities with a personnel establishment and physical accoutrements of infrastructure.  Other were ad-hoc creations of wartime exigency that were dissolved as circumstances rendered their purpose redundant.  There’s also another reason why the list may be incomplete: given all this operates at least notionally under the auspices of the notoriously secretive military and it could be there are any number of still secret departments.

MI1: During WWI, the army’s MI1 (there were a number of sub-sections labelled MI1a, MI1b etc) and the Admiralty’s NID25 had operated separately as collectors and interpreters of SIGINT, including code-breaking.  After the war, they were combined into the inter-service Directorate of Military Intelligence and Cryptography which ultimately evolved into GCHQ.  However, the Army, Royal Navy and newly created Royal Air Force (RAF) all maintained, sometimes in great secrecy, their own intelligence operations, the Admiralty especially jealous of its independence in as many fields as possible.

MI2: A divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Russia & Scandinavia.

MI3: A divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Eastern Europe.  This originally included Germany but so important did the German threat become that MI14 and MI15 were created exclusively to handle Britain’s fears of things Teutonic.

MI4: Matters related to aerial reconnaissance.  MI4’s original remit included not only the analysis of photographs but also the technical aspects of the process (cameras, lens, film stock, mounting techniques etc) and as civil aviation expanded, spying on foreign territory was accomplished sometimes with the use of civil airliners.  MI4 was transferred to Military Combined Operations in April 1940 when the MI15 was hived-off as an operation concerned purely with engineering aspects of photography and attached to the Air Ministry.

MI5: The well-known domestic intelligence service, the focus of which varies according to changes in the threat environment (Germans, feminists, communists, fascists, homosexuals, Freemasons, terrorists et al).  It’s known also as the Security Service but the authorities never make much of this, presumably because they don’t like the idea of people calling it "the SS".  MI5 is responsible to the home secretary (the UK's minister for internal affairs).

MI6: The foreign intelligence service, almost always called MI6 because of its historic origins but actually correctly styled the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) and as the Secret Service Bureau, it actually pre-dated WWI, the MI6 tag not used until World War II (WWII, 1939-1945).  The SIS is responsible to the Foreign Secretary and is well-known because of the connection with spies real and fictional: James Bond, Graham Greene, John le Carré, Ian Fleming, Somerset Maugham, Kim Philby etc. 

MI7: Military Communication Interception, later known as the Propaganda Section and transferred to the Ministry of Information during the Battle of France (the Western Campaign (Westfeldzug to the Germans) May-June 1940)).

MI8: Better known as the WWII Special Operations Executive (SOE), the covert ops department set up “to set Europe ablaze”, concentrating on sabotage and political subversion in Nazi-occupied Europe.  Said at the time to be of great psychological value, post-war analysis of its operations suggested success was patchy.  In the inter-war years, MI8 was concerned with the interception and interpretation of communications.

MI9: A WWII creation concerned with undercover operations, especially assisting escape and evasion by both civilians and prisoners of war.

MI10: Weapons analysis, a WWII military-civil partnership which conducted tests and provided analytical services.

MI11: Military security.  Although concerned with internal matters such as leaks and the theft of intelligence, most of its staff were in field security and the Military Police dealt overwhelmingly with normal police matters or military discipline.

MI12: Military censorship, always a growth industry in the armed forces.  One WWII US general held the view the civilian population needed to be told about the war only when it was over and then only that “we won”.

MI13: There is no evidence MI13 ever existed.  Whether this was because of the superstition the British attach to the number 13 isn’t known.  Conspiracy theorists wonder if it’s something so secret that it’s never been spoken of.

MI14 & MI15: Divisional title, the “desk” or section devoted to intelligence relating to Germany.

MI15: In April 1940, the MI15 title was recycled, German matters having long been exclusively the domain of MI14.  MI15 became the aerial photography branch which was purely technical (how best to photograph stuff) and attached to the Air Ministry while MI4 (aerial reconnaissance) decided what should be photographed.

MI16: Scientific analysis.  As WWII progresses, the importance of advances in science and technology became increasingly obvious.  MI16 wasn’t a collection of scientists but an administrative centre to coordinate research and ensure efforts weren’t being duplicated.  It interacted with existing instruments such as the Ministry of Supply in matters of resource allocation.

MI17: Secretariat for Director of Military Intelligence.  This was an attempt to coordinate the back-office and administrative overhead of all the MIx departments but it also added to the bureaucracy.

MI18: There is no evidence MI18 ever existed but because of the existence of MI19 such an institution may at least have been contemplated with the designation reserved for that purpose (or it could, like the mysterious MI13, be in secret functioning even today).

MI19: A WWII prisoner of war debriefing unit, best known for the transcripts they provided by secretly bugging German generals in captivity in England.  The transcripts are especially interesting when read in conjunction with some of the generals’ memoirs published after their release.

Conspiracy theorists find it intriguing that there’s no documentary evidence for the existence of MI13, MI18 & MI20 and MI21-MI25 remain classified as secret.  Over the years, the most popular conspiracy theory has been there’s a MI unit somewhere concerned with a covering up what the government really knows about UFOs.

The SIS Building, 85 Albert Embankment, Vauxhall, Lambeth, London.  Opened in 1994, nicknames include Legoland, The London Lubyanka, Ceaușescu Towers & The Ziggurat.

The British government did not until 1994 officially acknowledge the existence of the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS, aka MI6), and the identities of its staff and location of their offices were classified secret and subject to a D-Notice (now called a DSMA-Notice (Defence and Security Media Advisory Notice)) which was an official request by government to publishers and broadcasters not to publish or broadcast items about certain matters, a system which worked rather effectively in the pre-internet age.  However, the location of the SIS’s headquarters in the London suburb of Lambeth was apparently the UK’s “worst kept secret” appearing in training materials for taxi drivers although the story it was once in Lonely Planet’s London guide seems to have been apocryphal.  When the new SIS building was commissioned, it was decided to solve the problem of the secret leaking by publishing the details and ensuring the new structure was about the most obvious thing on the Thames.  An eclectic mix of styles, shapes & structures, when opened in 1994 it attracted criticism from those architects who decry anything other than 1950s New York modernism but it has aged rather well, the colors, lines and proportions not without charm.