Bastard

Bastard (pronounced bas-terd, br-sted, or bar-stad)

(1) A person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child (technically gender-neutral but historically applied almost exclusively to males).  Use is now mostly in a historic context.

(2) In slang as a term of disparagement, a vicious, despicable, or thoroughly disliked person.

(3) In slang, an expression of sympathy for a man who has suffered in some way (unlucky bastard, poor bastard etc).

(4) In slang, an expression used of someone who has been fortunate (lucky bastard).

(5) In jocular slang, a term of endearment (chiefly Australia & New Zealand).

(6) Something fake, phony, irregular, inferior, spurious, or unusual; of abnormal or irregular shape; of unusual make or proportions (now rare).

(7) In engineering, politics, architecture etc, something which is a mixture of inputs as opposed to pure versions.

(8) In metalworking & woodworking, a type of file.

(9) In informal use an extremely difficult or unpleasant job or task.

(10) In animal breeding, a mongrel (biological cross between different breeds, groups or varieties) (now rare).

(11) A sword midway in length between a short-sword and a long sword.

(12) In sugar refining, (1) an inferior quality of soft brown sugar, obtained from syrups that have been boiled several times or (2) a large mold for straining sugar.

(13) A very sweet fortified wine, often with spices added.

(14) In commercial printing, paper not of a standard size.

(15) In theatre lighting, one predominant color blended with small amounts of complementary color; used to replicate natural light because of their warmer appearance.

(16) In theology, a heretic or sinner; one separated from one's deity (archaic).

(17) In biology, a botanical tendril or offshoot (rare and used only in the technical literature).

(18) In linguistics, any change or neologism in language that is viewed as a degradation.

1250–1300: From the Middle English bastarde, basterd & bastart, from the Anglo-Norman bastard (illegitimate child), from the eleventh century Medieval Latin bastardus of unknown origin but perhaps from the Germanic (Ingvaeonic) bāst- (related to the Middle Dutch bast (lust, heat)), a presumed variant of bōst- (marriage) + the derogatory Old French –ard (the pejorative agent noun suffix), taken as signifying the offspring of a polygynous marriage to a woman of lower status (ie the acknowledged child of a nobleman by a woman other than his wife), a pagan Germanic custom not sanctioned by the Christian church.  The Old Frisian boask, boaste & bost (marriage) was from the proto-Germanic bandstu- & banstuz (bond, tie), a noun derivative of the Indo-European bhendh (to tie, bind).  It was cognate with the French bâtard (bastard), the West Frisian bastert (bastard), the Dutch bastaard (bastard), the German Bastard (bastard) and the Icelandic bastarður (bastard).  Etymologists caution that charming as it is, the traditional explanation of Old French bastard as derivative of fils de bast (literally “child of a packsaddle”, the source of this the idea of a child conceived on an improvised bed (medieval saddles often doubled as beds while traveling)) is dubious on chronological and geographical grounds.  The Medieval Latin Bastum (packsaddle) is of uncertain origin.

One etymologist noted that while the origin of bantling (a young child known or believed to be "a bastard") was uncertain, it could be from the German Bänkling (bastard-child) which was from the Luxembourgish Bänk, from the Middle High German and Old High German bank, from the Proto-West Germanic banki, from Proto-Germanic bankiz (and cognate with the German Bank, Dutch bank, English bench, Swedish bänk and Icelandic bekkur.  The alleged link with bastard offspring is that conception took place on "a bank" rather than in a bed where responsible & respectable folk did such things.  In music, a song titled Lindsay Lohan List was released by an artist named That Trending Bastard.  The noun bastarditis is pseudo-Latin used (usually in an offensive or derogatory way) to suggest some tendency to act like a bastard; the formation of the word hints the behavior may be due to disease or affliction (the -itas suffix was from the Proto-Italic -itāts & -otāts (-tās added to i-stems or o-stems, later used freely) and ultimately from the primitive Indo-European -tehats.  There are literally dozens of uses of "bastard" as a modifier and it has been applied to plants animals and devices but it has also proved one of English's more productive nouns:  Bastard is a noun, verb & adjective, bastardliness, bastardizatio, bastardness, bastardy, bastardship, bastardism, bastardhood & bastardling are nouns, abastard, abastardized, abastardizing, bastardise & bastardised are verbs, bastardish, bastardous, bastardly, bastardless & bastardlike are adjectives and bastardly is an adjective & adverb; the noun plural is bastards.

US film star James Dean (1931–1955) with 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder (chassis 550-0055) shortly before his death.

The 1955 Ford Country Squire with tandam-axle trailer (behind Little Bastard) was the the team’s tow vehicle while the Cadillac to the right was a 1953 model.  Beyond both having four wheels and running on gas (petrol), one of the few things the Cadillac had in common with the Porsche was the availability of a manual transmission (Porsche at the time offered no self-shifting choice).  The black Cadillac was probably fitted with the company's four-speed Hydra-Matic automatic transmission although, after a fire destroyed the factory, almost 30,000 were in 1953 equipped with Buick's famously smooth but inefficient two-speed Dynaflow.  After the end of production of the 1953 Series 75, almost three decades would pass before Cadillac again offered a model with a manual transmission although that didn't end well (among the Cadillac crowd the Cimarron (1982-1988) is never spoken of except in the phrase "the unpleasantness of 1982") but in a much more convincing way the option returned to the list in 2004 and by 2013, while one could buy a Cadillac with a clutch pedal, one could not buy such a Ferrari.  For most of the second half of the twentieth century, few would have thought that anything but improbable or unthinkable.

The Little Bastard being serviced.

James Dean was pronounced dead on 30 September, 1955, shortly after crashing the Porsche 550 Spyder he'd bought for use as a race car.  Like the prototype Porsche 356/1 of 1948 the 550 was mid rather than rear-engined as all Porsches had to that point been and while an ideal configuration for racing, it did possess quirks which meant it was best handled by experts.  It was never envisaged as a road car and had few of the then rudimentary safety features which were beginning to appear in series production models.  Dean clearly was a gifted driver and had enjoyed some success but since his death, a minor industry has existed to create or perpetuate myths about the Porsche and it's not certain why the Little Bastard nickname was bestowed (the stories differ) thought it may not be related to the car's handling characteristics.  What is agreed is the name was painted in black script on the 550's tail by Dean Jeffries (1933–2013) who divided his time between stunt work for film production and customizing cars.

The crash aftermath.

The crash happened on SR (South Route) 466 (now SR 46) near Cholame, California, en route to October’s upcoming Salinas Road Races and Mr Dean was driving to familiarize himself with the machine.  In the dimming light of the late afternoon, the Porsche collided with the passenger-side of a 1950 Ford Tudor (two-door sedan) which had just entered the highway, driven by California Polytechnic State University student Donald Turnupseed (1932-1995).  Mr Turnupseed (later cleared by authorities of any blame) suffered only minor injuries while Mr Dean, less than an hour later, was pronounced DoA (dead on arrival) at hospital.  The wreck of Little Bastard was sold and parts were used in other race cars and although the legend of the Little Bastard curse remains entrenched in US urban mythology, the extent of its links to other racing accidents seems overstated and although there was certainly one confirmed death, more then than today, motorsport was a dangerous business and in some seasons it wasn't unknown for drivers to attend a couple of funerals. 

Little Bastard's salvaged transaxle in display frame mounted on wheels.

There is a corner of the collector market which focuses on the trade in macabre items and while a big event like the sinking of RMS Titanic on her maiden voyage in 1912 has provided a wealth of memorabilia (watches, menus, crockery, flatware etc), the death toll need not be in the dozens for collectors to be drawn to relics associated with tragedy; one celebrity can be enough.  In 2021, the four-speed transaxle from film star James Dean’s 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder (550-0055) sold in an on-line auction for US$382,000.  Again, based on the serial number (10 046) & part number (113 301 102), factory verified the authenticity and of the auction lot and it was only the transaxle which had been salvaged from the wreck, the display stand and peripheral bits & pieces (axles, axle tubes, brake assemblies etc) all fabricated.

The bastard son of a hundred maniacs: Mr Krueger with glove.

Freddy Krueger, the fictional antagonist of the A Nightmare on Elm Street horror film franchise (first seen in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) was best known for his gloved hand with "built-in" blades.  In the third and best of the series (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors), Mr Kruger's origin was revealed as the son of a nurse in a lunatic asylum who, because of a filing error or some other oversight, was for a long weekend locked in a ward with hundreds of the worst of the criminally insane, the consequences predictable.  Thus was Mr Kruger known as "the bastard son of a hundred maniacs".

In pre-modern Europe, being born to unmarried parents was not always regarded as a stigma although the Church in canon law prohibited bastards from holding clerical office without an explicit papal indult.  Royalty and the aristocracy, famously prolific in the production of bastards, seemed often unconcerned, Norman duke William, the Conqueror of England, is referred to in state documents as "William the Bastard" and one Burgundian prince was even officially styled “Great Bastard of Burgundy”.  From this, came the idea of something bastardized being associated with the creation of an inferior copy or version of something, hence the sense of corruption, degradation or debasement, hence the association with words like counterfeit, fake, imperfect, irregular, mongrel, phony, sham, adulterated, baseborn, false, impure, misbegotten, mixed & spurious, the adjectival form common by the late fourteenth century.  However, the word eventually became used to describe things deliberately designed to be variations of something, typically between two established types.  Thus emerged bastard agrimony, the bastard alkanet, bastard bar, bastard hartebeest, bastard file, bastard hemp, bastard hogberry, bastard pennyroyal, bastard pimpernel, bastard quiver tree, bastard tallow-wood, bastard tamarind, bastard teak, bastard musket, bastard culverin, bastard gemsbok, bastard mahogany, bastard toadflax, bastard trumpeter, bastard cut, bastard eigne & bastard amber.

All Men are Bastards diary, 1995.

Variations of the word existed in many languages including the Scots bastart & bastert, the French bâtard, the Old French bastardus, the Galician bastardo, the Middle Dutch bastaert, the Dutch bastaard, the Italian bastardo, the Late Latin bastardus, the Indonesian bastar, the Saramaccan bása, the Sranan Tongo basra, the Middle English bastard, bastarde, basterd & bastart.  Use as a generic vulgar term of abuse for a man appears to date from circa 1830 although presumably it may have be slanderously applied in the past.  The early fourteenth century noun bastardy (condition of illegitimacy) was from the Anglo-French and Old French bastardie and appears from the 1570s in contemporary documents in the sense of "begetting of bastards, fornication".  The early seventeenth century verb bastardize meant "to identify as a bastard", predated by the figurative sense, "to make degenerate, debase" which dates from the 1580s, probably because bastard since the 1540s had also served as a verb meaning "to declare illegitimate".  The later use of bastardize, bastardized, bastardizing & bastardization to mean “rituals and activities involving harassment, abuse or humiliation as a way of initiating a person into a group or organization” was associated with the military, crime gangs and university fraternities, (ie structures where the membership is predominately made up of males aged 17-25.  The terms hazing, initiation, ragging & deposition were synonymous and all began as regionally-specific but soon tended towards the internationalism which marks modern English.  The once useful phrase “political bastardry” is still seen but is now rare, a victim of association; as children born out of wedlock are now no longer described as bastards, the word is also being banished from some other contexts, including political discourse which is also losing many gender-loaded expressions.

One of the opening sequences used for Alexei Sayle's Stuff, a comedy sketch show that, over 18 episodes, was shown on BBC2 for three seasons (1988-1991).  Alexi Sayle (b 1952) was a left-wing comedian and one of the show's signature lines was "Who is that fat bastard?"

Notable bastards include Confucius (circa 551-479 BC), William the Conqueror (circa 1028-1087), Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), Thomas Paine (1737-1809), Lawrence of Arabia (1888-1935), Eva Peron (1919-1952), Fidel Castro (1926-2016) & Marilyn Monroe (1926–1962).  There was once some sensitivity to any admission of the status and as late as 1971, in The Gorton Experiment (a study of the prime ministership of Sir John Gorton (1911-2002; prime-minister of Australia 1968-1971)), the journalist Alan Reid (1914-1987) mentioned his subject was "A bastard by birth" but added the footnote: "Normally, I would ignore as irrelevant the circumstances of Gorton’s birth, but Alan Trengrove [1929-2016] in a biography of Gorton, written with Gorton’s full cooperation, recorded the facts until then unknown even to Gorton intimates."  He noted also: "Trengrove suggests that the mature Gorton can be understood fully only in the light of Gorton’s childhood 'insecurity' which was the product of his illegitimacy."  Journalists still find it hard to resist acting as amateur psychologists. 

The bastard file.

A bastard file is a half-round file.  It gained the name from being rendered with an intermediate cut, neither very coarse nor very fine and was thus neither one thing nor the other; it was something impure.  The concept of things in engineering, architecture, literature etc being thought bastardized versions if in any way hybrids or deviations from established forms can apply also to proper nouns.  Bob Cunis (1941-2008) was a New Zealand cricketer described as a “medium pace bowler”.  That may have been generous though he also extracted little movement from the ball without ever being classed a a spinner.  Still, between 1964-1972 he played in 20 test matches and coached the national side for three seasons in the late 1980s.  His contribution to the list of linguistic amusements came when BBC Radio commentator John Arlott (1914-1991), unimpressed by the bowler’s pedestrian deliveries commented: “Cunis, a funny sort of name, like his bowling, neither one thing nor the other."  It passed into the sporting annals but may have be plagiarized, apparently appearing in an earlier newspaper report on a match the tourists played against a county side and Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) had sometime before 1952 used the line after learning the name of a MP (member of parliament) was Alfred Bossom (1881–1965).

Peanut

Peanut (pronounced pee-nuht)

(1) The pod or the enclosed edible seed of the plant, Arachis hypogaea, of the legume family, native to the tropical Americas (and probably of South American origin).  During the plant’s growth, the pod is forced underground where it ripens.  The edible, nut-like seed is used for food and as a source of oil (historically known variously also as the pinder, pinda and goober (used south of the Mason-Dixon Line (originally as “goober pea)), earthnut, groundnut & monkey nut (pre-World War II (1939-1945) UK use).

(2) The plant itself.

(3) Any small or insignificant person or thing; something petty.

(4) In US slang, a very small clam.

(5) In slang, barbiturates (recorded also of other substances delivered in small pills).

(6) In slang, small pieces of Styrofoam used as a packing material (known also as the “packing peanut”).

(7) Of or relating to the peanut or peanuts.

(8) Made with or from peanuts.

1790–1800: The construct may have been pea (in the sense of the small green vegetable) + nut but may etymologists think it was more likely a folk etymology of pinda or pinder, both forms still in dialectal use south of the Mason-Dixon Line.  The plant is apparently native to South America and it was Portuguese traders who early in the sixteenth century took peanuts from Brazil and Peru to Africa by 1502.  Its cultivation in Chekiang (an eastern coastal province of China) was recorded as early as 1573 and the crop probably arrived with the Portuguese ships which docked there.  According to the broadcaster Alistair Cooke (1908–2004), The spellings pea nut & pea-nut are obsolete.  Peanut is a noun & verb. Peanutted & peanutting are verbs and peanutty & peanutlike are adjectives; the noun plural is peanuts.

The word appears in many aspects of modern culture including “circus peanut” (a type of commercial candy), “cocktail peanuts” (commercially packaged salted nuts served (for free) in bars to heighten thirst and thus stimulate beverage sales (also known generically as “beer nuts”)), “peanut butter” (a spread made from ground peanuts and known also as “peanut paste”), “peanut butter and jelly” (a sandwich made with jelly (jam or conserve) spread on one slice and peanut butter on the other), “small peanuts” (very small amount (always in the plural), “peanut milk” (a milky liquid made from peanuts and used as a milk substitute), peanut brittle (a type of brittle (confection) containing peanuts in a hard toffee), “peanut butter cup” (a chocolate candy with peanut butter filling), “peanut bunker” (a small menhaden (a species of fish)), “hog peanut” (a plant native to eastern North America that produces edible nut-like seeds both above & below ground (Amphicarpaea bracteata)), “peanut worm” ( sipunculid worm; any member of phylum Sipuncula. (Sipuncula spp), “peanut cactus” (a cactus of species Chamaecereus silvestrii), “peanut ball” (in athletics & strength training, an exercise ball comprised of two bulbous lobes and a narrower connecting portion), “peanut marzipan” (a peanut confection made with crushed peanuts & sugar, popular in Central & South America), “peanut whistle” (in the slang of the ham radio and citizens band (CB) radio communities, a low-powered transmitter or receiver, “peanut tree” (A tree of the species Sterculia quadrifida), “peanut-headed lanternfly” (In entomology, a species of Neotropical fulgorid planthopper (Fulgora laternaria)) and peanut tube (in electronics, a type of small vacuum tube).

Herbert (HW) Horwill’s (1864-1943) A Dictionary of Modern American Usage (1935) was written as kind of trans-Atlantic companion to Henry Fowler’s (1858–1933) classic A Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1926) and was one of the earliest volumes to document on a systematic basis the variations and dictions between British and American English.  The book was a kind of discussion about the phrase “England and America are two countries separated by one language” attributed to George Bernard Shaw (GBS; 1856-1950) although there are doubts about that.  Horwill had an entry for “peanut” which he noted in 1935 was common in the US but unknown in the UK where it was known as the “monkey nut”.  According to the broadcaster Alistair Cooke (1908–2004), the world “peanut” became a thing in the UK during the early 1940s when the US government included generous quantities of the then novel peanut butter in the supplies of foodstuffs included in the Lend-Lease arrangements.

In idiomatic use, the phrase “if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” is used to suggest that if only low wages are offered for a role, high quality applicants are unlike to be attracted to the position.  The phrase “peanut gallery” is one of a number which have enter the language from the theatre.  The original Drury Lane theatre in London where William Shakespeare’s (1564–1616) were staged was built on the site of a notorious cockpit (the place where gamecocks fought, spectators gambling on the outcome) and even before this bear and bull-baiting pits had been used for theatrical production of not the highest quality.  That’s the origin of the “pit” in this context being the space at the rear of the orchestra circle, the pit sitting behind the more desirable stalls.  By the Elizabethan era (1558-1603), the poor often sat on the ground (under an open sky) while the more distant raised gallery behind them contained the seats which were cheaper still; that’s the origin of the phrase “playing to the gallery” which describes an appeal to those with base, uncritical tastes although “gallery god” (an allusion to the paintings of the gods of antiquity which were on the gallery’s wall close to the ceiling) seems to be extinct.  The “peanut gallery” (the topmost (ie the most distant and thus cheapest) rows of a theatre) was a coining in US English dating from 1874 because it was the habit of the audience to cast upon to the stage the shells of the peanuts they’d been eating although whether this was ad-hoc criticism or general delinquency isn’t known.  The companion phrase was “hush money”, small denomination coins tossed onto the stage as a “payment” to silence an actor whose performance was judged substandard.  “Hush money” of course has endured to be re-purposed, now used of the payments such as the one made by Donald Trump (b 1946; US president 2017-2021; president elect 2024) to Stormy Daniels (stage name of Stephanie Gregory, b 1979).

Chairman Mao Zedong (left) and Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek (right), celebrating the Japanese surrender, Chongqing, China, September 1945.  After this visit, they would never meet again.

Joseph "Vinegar Joe" Stilwell (1883–1946) was a US Army general who was appointed chief of staff to the Chinese Nationalist Leader, Generalissimo Chiang Kai-shek (1887-1975) (Generalissimo was a kind of courtesy title acknowledging his position as supreme leader of his armed forces; officially his appointment in 1935 was as 特級上將 (Tèjí shàng jiàng) (high general special class)).  Stilwell’s role was to attempt to coordinate the provision of US funds and materiel to Chiang with the objectives of having the Chinese Nationalist forces operate against the Imperial Japanese Army in Burma (now known usually as Myanmar).  Unfortunately, the generalissimo viewed the Chinese communists under Chairman Mao (Mao Zedong 1893–1976; chairman of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) 1949-1976) as a more immediate threat than that of Nippon and his support for US strategy was no always wholehearted. 

So Stilwell didn’t have an easy task and in his reports to Washington DC referred to Chiang as “Peanut”.  Apparently, “peanut” had originally been allocated to Chiang as one of the army’s random code-names with no particular meaning but greatly it appealed to Stillwell who warmed to the metaphorical possibilities, once recorded referring to Chiang and his creaking military apparatus as “...a peanut perched on top of a dung heap...”  That about summed up Stillwell’s view of Chiang and his “army” and in his diary he noted a military crisis “would be worth it” were the situation “…just sufficient to get rid of the Peanut without entirely wrecking the ship…”  A practical man, his plans extended even to assassinating the generalissimo although these were never brought to fruition.  Eventually, Stilwell was recalled to Washington while Chiang fought on against the communists until 1949 when the Nationalists were forced to flee across the straits of Formosa to the Island of Taiwan, the “renegade province” defying the CCP in Beijing to this day.  Stillwell did have one final satisfaction before being sacked, in 1944 handing Chiang an especially wounding letter from Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR, 1882–1945, US president 1933-1945), the reaction so pleasing he was moved to write a poem:

I have waited long for vengeance,
At last I've had my chance.
I've looked the Peanut in the eye
And kicked him in the pants.
 
The old harpoon was ready
With aim and timing true,
I sank it to the handle,
And stung him through and through.
 
The little bastard shivered,
And lost the power of speech.
His face turned green and quivered
As he struggled not to screech.
 
For all my weary battles,
For all my hours of woe,
At last I've had my innings
And laid the Peanut low.
 
I know I've still to suffer,
And run a weary race,
But oh! the blessed pleasure!
I've wrecked the Peanut's face.

Phobias

One who suffers a morbid fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth is said to be an arachibutyrophobe.  Phobias need not be widely diagnosed conditions; they need only be specific and, even if suffered by just one soul in the world, the criteria are fulfilled.  In this sense, phobias are analogous with syndromes.  A phobia is an anxiety disorder, an unreasonable or irrational fear related to exposure to certain objects or situations.  The phobia may be triggered either by the cause or an anticipation of the specific object or situation.

Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap (1998) introduced the culinary novelty of peanut butter spread on Oreos; an allure appalled arachibutyrophobes avoid.

The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5 (2013)) made some interesting definitional changes from the earlier DSM-4 (1994):  (1) A patient no longer needs to acknowledge their anxiety is excessive or unreasonable in order to receive a diagnoses, it being required only that their anxiety must be “out of proportion” to the actual threat or danger (in its socio-cultural context).  (2) Symptoms must now, regardless of age, last at least six months.  (3) The diagnostic criteria for social phobias no longer specify that age at onset must be before eighteen, a change apparently necessitated by the substantial increase in reporting by older adults with the DSM editors noting the six-month duration threshold exists to minimize the over-diagnosis of transient fears.

Whether it was already something widely practiced isn’t known but Lindsay Lohan is credited with introducing to the world the culinary novelty Oreos & peanut butter in The Parent Trap.  According to the director, it was added to the script “…for no reason other than it sounded weird and some cute kid would do it."  Like some other weirdnesses, the combination has a cult following and for those who enjoy peanut butter but suffer arachibutyrophobia, Tastemade have provided a recipe for Lindsay Lohan-style Oreos with a preparation time (including whisking) of 2 hours.  They take 20 minutes to cook and in this mix there are 8 servings (scale ingredients up to increase the number of servings).

Ingredients

2 cups flour
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (plus more for dusting)
¾ teaspoon kosher salt
1 ¼ cups unsalted butter (at room temperature)
¾ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Powdered sugar, for dusting

Filling Ingredients

½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
¼ cup unsweetened smooth peanut butter
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
A pinch of kosher salt (omit if using salted peanut butter)

Filling Instructions

(1) With a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, the butter & peanut butter until creamy.

(2) Gradually add powdered sugar and beat to combine, then beat in vanilla and salt.

Whisking the mix.

Instructions

(1) Preheat the oven to 325°F (160°C). Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

(2) In small bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder & salt.

(3) In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Mix in the vanilla extract. With the mixer running on low speed, add the flour mixture and beat until just combined (it should remain somewhat crumbly).

(4) Pour mixture onto a work surface and knead until it’s “all together”; wrap half in plastic wrap and place in refrigerator.

(5) Lightly dust surface and the top of the dough with a 1:1 mixture of cocoa powder and powdered sugar.

(6) Working swiftly and carefully, roll out dough to a ¼-½ inch (6-12 mm) thickness and cut out 2 inch (50 mm) rounds.  Transfer them to the baking sheets, 1 inch (25 mm) apart (using a small offset spatula helps with this step). Re-roll scraps and cut out more rounds, the repeat with remaining half of the dough.

(7) Bake cookies until the tops are no longer shiny ( about 20 minutes), then cool on pan for 5 minutes before transferring to wire rack completely to cool.

(8) To assemble, place half the cookies on a plate or work surface.

(9) Pipe a blob of filling (about 2 teaspoons) onto the tops of each of these cookies and then place another cookie on top, pressing slightly but not to the extent filled oozes from the sides.

(10) Refrigerate for a few minutes to allow the filling to firm up.  Store in an air-tight container in refrigerator.

The manufacturer embraced the idea of peanut butter Oreos and has released versions, both with the classic cookie and a peanut butter & jelly (jam) variation paired with its “golden wafers”.  As well as Lindsay Lohan’s contribution, Oreos have attracted the interest of mathematicians.  Nabisco in 1974 introduced the Double Stuf Oreo, the clear implication being a promise the variety contained twice crème filling supplied in the original.  However, a mathematician undertook the research and determined Double Stuf Oreos contained only 1.86 times the volume of filling of a standard Oreo.  Despite that, the company survived the scandal and the Double Stuf Oreo’s recipe wasn’t adjusted.

Scandalous in its own way was that an April 2022 research paper published in the journal Physics of Fluids wasn’t awarded that year’s Ig Nobel Prize for physics, the honor taken by Frank Fish, Zhi-Ming Yuan, Minglu Chen, Laibing Jia, Chunyan Ji & Atilla Incecik, for their admittedly ground-breaking (or perhaps water-breaking) work in explaining how ducklings manage to swim in formation.  More deserving surely were Crystal Owens, Max Fan, John Hart & Gareth McKinley who introduced to physics the discipline of Oreology (the construct being Oreo + (o)logy).  The suffix -ology was formed from -o- (as an interconsonantal vowel) +‎ -logy.  The origin in English of the -logy suffix lies with loanwords from the Ancient Greek, usually via Latin and French, where the suffix (-λογία) is an integral part of the word loaned (eg astrology from astrologia) since the sixteenth century.  French picked up -logie from the Latin -logia, from the Ancient Greek -λογία (-logía).  Within Greek, the suffix is an -ία (-ía) abstract from λόγος (lógos) (account, explanation, narrative), and that a verbal noun from λέγω (légō) (I say, speak, converse, tell a story).  In English the suffix became extraordinarily productive, used notably to form names of sciences or disciplines of study, analogous to the names traditionally borrowed from the Latin (eg astrology from astrologia; geology from geologia) and by the late eighteenth century, the practice (despite the disapproval of the pedants) extended to terms with no connection to Greek or Latin such as those building on French or German bases (eg insectology (1766) after the French insectologie; terminology (1801) after the German Terminologie).  Within a few decades of the intrusion of modern languages, combinations emerged using English terms (eg undergroundology (1820); hatology (1837)).  In this evolution, the development may be though similar to the latter-day proliferation of “-isms” (fascism; feminism etc).  Oreology is the study of the flow and fracture of sandwich cookies and the research proved it is impossible to split the cream filling of an Oreo cookie down the middle.

An Oreo on a rheometer.

The core finding in Oreology was that the filling always adheres to one side of the wafer, no matter how quickly one or both cookies are twisted.  Using a rheometer (a laboratory instrument used to measure the way in which a viscous fluid (a liquid, suspension or slurry) flows in response to applied forces), it was determined creme distribution upon cookie separation by torsional rotation is not a function of rate of rotation, creme filling height level, or flavor, but was mostly determined by the pre-existing level of adhesion between the creme and each wafer.  The research also noted that were there changes to the composition of the filling (such as the inclusion of peanut butter) would influence the change from adhesive to cohesive failure and presumably the specifics of the peanut butter chosen (smooth, crunchy, extra-crunchy, un-salted (although the organic varieties should behave in a similar way to their mass-market equivalents)) would have some effect because the fluid dynamics would change.  The expected extent of the change would be appear to be slight but until further research is performed, this can’t be confirmed.

Brat

Brat (pronounced brat)

(1) A child, especially one is ill-mannered, unruly, annoying, spoiled or impolite etc (usually used either playfully or in contempt or irritation, often in the phrase “spoiled brat”.

(2) As “military brat”, “army brat” etc, a child with one or more parent serving in the military; most associated with those moving between military bases on a short-duration basis; the derived form is “diplomatic brat” (child living with parents serving in overseas missions).

(3) In the BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism) community, a submissive partner who is disobedient and unruly (ie a role reversal: to act in a bratty manner as the submissive, the comparative being “more bratty”, the superlative “most bratty”).

(4) In mining, a thin bed of coal mixed with pyrites or carbonate of lime.

(5) A rough makeshift cloak or ragged garment (a now rare dialectal form).

(6) An apron fashioned from a coarse cloth, used to protect the clothing (a bib) (a now obsolete Scots dialect word).

(7) A turbot or flatfish.

(8) The young of an animal (obsolete).

(9) A clipping of bratwurst, from the German Bratwurst (a type of sausage) noted since 1904, from the Middle High German brātwurst, from the Old High German, the construct being Brāt (lean meat, finely shredded calf or swine meat) + wurst (sausage).

(10) As a 2024 neologism (technically a re-purposing), the qualities associated with a confident and assertive woman (along the lines of the earlier “bolshie woman” or “tough broad” but with a more overtly feminist flavor).

1500–1520: Thought to be a transferred use (as slang for “a beggar's child”) of the early Middle English brat (cloak of coarse cloth, rag), from the Old English bratt (cloak) of Celtic origin and related to the Old Irish brat (mantle, cloak; cloth used to cover the body).  The origin of the early Modern English slag use meaning “beggar's child” is uncertain.  It may have been an allusion, either to the contemporary use meaning “young of an animal” or to the shabby clothing such a child would have worn", the alternative theory being some link with the Scots bratchet (bitch, hound).  The early sense development (of children) may have included the fork of the notion of “an unplanned or unwanted baby” (as opposed to a “bastard” (in the technical rather than behavioral sense)) had by a married couple.  The “Hollywood Brat Pack” was a term from the mid-1980s referring to a grouping of certain actors and modeled on the 1950s “Rat Pack”.  The slang form “brattery” (a nursery for children) sounds TicTokish but actually dates from 1788 while the generalized idea of “spoiled and juvenile” became common in the 1930s.  The unrelated use of bratty (plural bratties) is from Raj-era Indian English where it describes a cake of dried cow dung, used for fuel.  Brat is a noun, verb & adjective, brattishness & brattiness are nouns, bratting & bratted are verbs, brattish & bratty are adjectives and brattily is an adverb; the noun plural is brats.

New York magazine, 10 June, 1985.

First published in 1968, New York magazine is now owned by Vox media and, unlike many, its print edition still appears on surviving news-stands.  The editorial focus has over the decades shifted, the most interesting trend-line being the extent to which it could be said to be very much a “New York-centred” publication, something which comes and goes but the most distinguishing characteristic has always been a willingness (often an eagerness) to descend into pop-culture in a way the New Yorker's editors would have distained; it was in a 1985 New York cover story the term “Brat Pack” first appeared.  Coined by journalist David Blum (b 1955) and about a number of successful early twenty-something film stars, the piece proved controversial because the subjects raised concerns about what they claimed was Blum’s unethical tactics in obtaining the material.  The term was a play on “Rat Pack” which in the 1950s had been used of an earlier group of entertainers although Blum also noted another journalist's coining of “Fat Pack”, used in restaurant-related stories.

LBJ, the "Chicken Tax" and the Subaru BRAT

Subaru BRAT, advertising in motion (in a US publication and thus a left-hand drive model).

The Subaru BRAT was (depending on linguistic practice) (1) a coupé utility, (2) a compact pick-up or (3) a small four wheel drive (4WD) ute (utility).  The name was an acronym (Bi-drive Recreational All-terrain Transporter), the novel idea of “bi-drive” (4WD) being the notion of both axles being driven, that linguistic construction dictated by the need to form the acronym.  “Bi-Drive Recreational All-Terrain Transporter” certainly was more imaginative (if opportunistic) than other uses of BRAT as an acronym which have included: ”Behaviour Research And Therapy” (an academic journal), “Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast” (historically a diet recommended for those with certain stomach disorders), “Brush Rapid Attack Truck” (a fire-fighting vehicle), “Basenji Rescue and Transport” (a dog rescue organization), “Behavioral Risk Assessment Tool” (used in HIV/AIDS monitoring), Beautiful, Rich and Talented (self-explanatory), the “Bureau de Recherche en Aménagement du Territoire” (the Belgium Office of Research in Land Management (in the French)), “Beyond Line-Of-Sight Reporting and Tracking” (a US Army protocol for managing targets not in visual range) and “Battle-Management Requirements Analysis Tool” (a widely used military check-list, later interpolated into a BMS (Battle Management System).

Ronald Reagan on his Santa Barbara ranch with Subaru BRAT.  Like many owners who used their BRATs as pick-up trucks, President Reagan had the jump seats removed.

Built on the platform of the Leone (1971-1994) and known in some markets also as the MV Pickup, Brumby & Shifter, the BRAT was variously available between 1978-1994 and was never sold in the JDM (Japanese domestic market) although many have been “reverse imported” from other places (Australia favored because salt isn't used on the roads so rust is less of an issue) and the things now have a cult following in Tokyo.  The most famous BRAT owner was probably Ronald Reagan (1911-2004; US president 1981-1989) who kept a 1978 model on his Californian ranch until 1988, presenting something of a challenge for his Secret Service detail, many of whom didn’t know how to drive a stick-shift (manual transmission).  That though would have been less frightening than the experience of many taken for a drive by Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; US president 1963-1969) in the Amphicar 770 (1961-1965) he kept at his Texas ranch.  LBJ suddenly would turn off the path, driving straight into the waters of the dam, having neglected to tell his passengers of the 770’s amphibious capabilities.  Although “770” has been used in the industry (in the US and Australia) as a trim-level designation (often as part of the sequence 440, 550, 660 etc) , on the amphibious Amphicar it was a reference to it being able to achieve speeds of 7 knots (8 mph; 13 km/h) on water and 70 mph (110 km/h) on land, both claims verified by testers although the nautical performance did demand reasonable calm conditions.

The Subaru BRAT is remembered also as a “Chicken Tax car”.  Tax regimes have a long history of influencing or dictating automotive design, the Japanese system of displacement-based taxation responsible for the entire market segment of “Kei cars” (a clipping of kei-jidōsha (軽自動車) (light automobile), the best known of which have been produced with 360, 600 & 660 cm3 (22, 37 & 40 cubic inch) engines in an astonishing range of configurations ranging from micro city cars to roadsters and 4WD dump trucks.  In Europe too, the post-war fiscal threshold resulted in a wealth of manufacturers (Mercedes-Benz, Jaguar, BMW, Ford, Maserati, Opel etc) offering several generations of 2.8 litre (171 cubic inch) sixes while the that imposed by the Italian government saw special runs of certain 2.0 litre (122 cubic inch) fours, sixes & even V8s.  The US government’s “Chicken Tax” (a part of the “Chicken War”) was different in that it was a 25% tariff imposed in November 1963 (to come into effect in January 1964) by the Johnson administration on potato starch, dextrin, brandy and light trucks; it was a response to the impost of a similar tariffs by France and the FRG (Federal Republic of Germany, the old West Germany) on chicken meat imported from the US.

Wheeling & dealing: Walter Reuther (left) and LBJ (right), scheming something, November 1963.

In any president’s political horse trading there are always hidden agendas and ulterior motives and in LBJ’s White House there were more than usual because that’s the way he’d always done business and had he written a guide to the process, he might have called it "The Art of the Deal".  He was in his generation the most skilled of all, historians concluding after in 1937 having been initiated into the fraternity of Freemasons, he took the only first degree (as an “Entered Apprentice”) and opted not further to progress because soon he understood there was little even the Masons could teach him about the dark arts of plotting & scheming.  Year after the imposition of the chicken tax, the contents of the surviving tape-recordings of discussions in the White House revealed LBJ was negotiating with UAW (United Auto Workers’) president Walter Reuther (1907–1970) in the run-up to the 1964 congressional & presidential elections and the tariffs aimed at curtailing Volkswagen’s increasing market share were just one of the “quid pro quo chips” on the table.  Although it was the taping system used by Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) that became infamous, devices of this kind had been installed in the White House as early as the during the administration of Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR, 1882–1945, US president 1933-1945) and Nixon actually had LBJ’s devices removed before his staff came to understand their usefulness and Nixon agreed to having them re-fitted, the rest being history. 

Subaru BRAT in use.

The post-war development in the US of large scale, intensive chicken farming had both vastly expanded production of the meat and radically reduced the unit cost of production which was good but because supply quickly exceeded the demand capacity of the domestic market, the surplus was exported, having the effect in Europe of transforming chicken from a high-priced delicacy to a staple consumer protein; by 1961, imported US chicken had taken some 50% of the European market.  This was at a time when international trade operated under the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (the GATT (1947)) and there was nothing like the codified dispute resolution mechanism which exists in the rules of the successor World Trade Organization (the WTO (1995)) and the farming lobbies in Germany, France and the Netherlands accused the US producers of “dumping” (ie selling at below the cost of production) with the French government objecting that the female hormones US farmers used to stimulate growth were a risk to public health, not only to those who ate the flesh but to all because nature of the substances was such that a residue enter the water supply.  The use of the female hormones in agriculture does remains a matter of concern, some researchers linking it to phenomena noted in the last six decades including the startling reduction in the human male's sperm count, the shrinking in size of the penises of alligators living in close proximity to urban human habitation and early-onset puberty in girls.

Subaru BRAT Advertising (US).

Eventually, the tariffs on potato starch, dextrin and brandy were lifted but the protection for the US truck producers remained, triggering a range of inventive “work-arounds” concocted between various engineering and legal offices, most of which involved turning two-seater trucks & vans into vehicles which technically could quality as four-seaters, a configuration which lasted sometimes only until the things reached a warehouse where the fittings could be removed, something which would cost the Ford Motor Company (one of the corporations the tax had been imposed to protect) over US$1 billion in penalties, their tactics in importing the Transit Connect light truck from Turkey (now the Republic of Türkiye) just too blatant.  In New Zealand, in the mid 1970s, the government found the “work-arounds” working the other way.  There, changes had been implemented to make the purchase of two seater light vans more attractive for businesses so almost instantly, up sprang a cottage industry of assembling four-door station wagons with no rear seat which, upon sale, returned to the workshop to have a seat fitted.  Modern capitalism has always been imaginative.

Subaru "Passing Lamp" on Leone 1600 GL station wagon (optional on BRATs, 1980-1982).

In Fuji Heavy Industries’ (then Subaru’s parent corporation) Ebisu boardroom, the challenge of what probably was described as the “Chicken Tax Incident” was met by adding to the BRAT two plastic, rear-facing jump seats, thereby qualifying the vehicle as a “passenger car” subject in the US only to a 2.5 and not a 25% import tax.  Such a “feature” probably seems strange in the regulatory environment of the 2020s but there was a time when there was more freedom in the air.  Subaru’s US operation decided the BRAT’s “outdoor bucket seats” made it an “open tourer” and slanted the advertising thus, the model enjoying much success although the additional seating wasn’t available for its final season in the US, the BRAT withdrawn after 1987.  Another nifty feature available on the BRAT between 1980-1982 was the “Passing Lamp” (renamed “Center Lamp” in 1982 although owners liked “Third Eye” or “Cyclops”), designed to suit those who had adopted the recommended European practice of flashing the headlights (on high beam) for a second prior to overtaking.  The BRAT was not all that powerful so passing opportunities were perhaps not frequent but the “passing lamp” was there to be used if ever something even slower was encountered.  The retractable lamp was of course a complicated solution to a simple problem given most folk so inclined just flash the headlights but it was the sort of fitting with great appeal to men who admire intricacy for its own sake.

BRAT seat mountings 1983 (left) and 1984 (centre).  The BRAT on the right has been retro-fitted with the seats (note the safety wire attached to the frame!) using U-bolts, a satisfactory method provided (1) the U-bolts are of high-tensile steel and (2) there is a backing place of adequate strength and size.

The seats were bolted to a frame (the design of which changed) which was welded to the bed.  The use of welding rather than bolts was dictated by the regulations because, had the frame been bolted (and thus defined as “removable”), the BRAT's classification would have changed from “passenger vehicle” to “truck” and been subject to the very tax the seats were installed to avoid.  Amusingly though, the side impact regulations which applied to the BRAT were in a different act and for those purposes the thing was defined as a truck which meant the doors could be fitted with lighter reinforcing bars than those mandated for the Subaru Leone sedans, station wagons and hatchbacks.  The stronger mechanism can be installed in a BRAT's doors so safety conscious owners do have that option.

Two 1987 BRATs with retro-fitted seats, the one on the right also with an after-market roll-bar, something which, all things considered, seems a sensible addition.  Of the physics, those familiar Sir Isaac Newton's (1642–1727) First Law of Motion (known also as the Law of Inertia: "An object at rest will remain at rest, and an object in motion will continue in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced external force") can ponder the possibilities while wondering whether to bother buckling up the seat belt or just rely on the "grab handles" (and probably never was that term used more appropriately).  Although the seats weren't factory-fitted after 1985, the parts could still be ordered and many later models have been retro-fitted.  The adjustable headrests were a nice touch although some did note they could be classified also as "rear window protectors".

Brat: Charli XCX's Summer 2024 album

Charli XCX, BRIT Awards, O2 Arena,  London, February 2016; the "BRITs" are the British Phonographic Industry's annual popular music awards.

“Brat” has been chosen by the Collins English Dictionary as its 2024 Word of the Year (WotY), an acknowledgement of the popular acclaim which greeted the word’s re-purposing by English singer-songwriter Charli XCX (the stage-name of Charlotte Emma Aitchison (b 1992)) who used it as the title for her summer 2024 album.  The star herself revealed the stage name is pronounced chahr-lee ex-cee-ex; it has no connection with Roman numerals and XCX is anyway not a standard Roman number.  XC is “90” (C minus X (100-10)) and CX is “110” (C plus X (100 +10)) but XCX presumably could be used as a code for “100” should the need arise, on the model of something like the “May 35^th” reference adopted by Chinese Internet users in an attempt to circumvent the CCP's (Chinese Communist Party) "Great Firewall of China" when speaking of the “Tiananmen Square Incident” of 4 June 1989.  In 2015, Ms XCX revealed “XCX” was an element of her MSN screen name (CharliXCX92) when young (it stood for “kiss Charli kiss”) and she used it on some of the early promotion material for her music.

Charli XCX with Brat album (vinyl pressing edition) packaging in "brat green".

According to Collins, the word “resonated with people globally”.  The dictionary had of course long had an entry for the word something in the vein of: “someone, especially a child, who behaves badly or annoys you”, but now it has added “characterized by a confident, independent, and hedonistic attitude”.  In popular culture, the use spiked in the wake of the album's released but it may be “brat” in this sense endures if the appeal is maintained, otherwise it will become unfashionable and fade from use, becoming a “stranded word”, trapped in the time of its historic origin.  So, either it enters the vernacular or by 2025 it will be regarded as “so 2024”.  The lexicographers at Collins seem optimistic about its future, saying in the WotY press release that “brat summer has established itself as an aesthetic and a way of life”.

Lindsay Lohan in Jil Sander (b 1943) "brat green" gown, Disney Legends Awards ceremony, Anaheim, Los Angeles, October 2024.  For anyone wanting to describe a yellowish-green color with a word which has the virtues of (1) being hard to pronounce, (2) harder to spell and (3) likely to baffle most of one’s interlocutors, there’s “smaragdine” (pronounced smuh-rag-din), from the Latin smaragdinus, from smaragdus (emerald), from the Ancient Greek σμάραγδινος (smáragdinos), from σμάραγδος (smáragdos).

The “kryptonite green” used for Brat’s album’s packaging seems also to have encouraged the use in fashion of various hues of “lurid green” (the particular shade used by Ms XCX already dubbed “brat green” although some which have appeared on the catwalks seem more of a chartreuse) and an online “brat generator” allowed users replicate the cover with their own choice of words.  The singer was quite helpful in fleshing out the parameters of the aesthetic, emphasizing it didn’t revolve around a goth-like “uniform” and nor was it gender-specific or socially restricted.  In an interview with the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation), Ms XCX explained the brat thing was a spectrum condition extending from “luxury” to “trashy” and was a thing of attitude rather than accessories: “A pack of cigs, a Bic lighter, and a strappy white top with no bra.  That’s kind of all you need.”  Although gender-neutral, popular use does seem to put the re-purposed “brat” in the tradition of the earlier “bolshie woman” or “tough broad” but with a more overtly feminist flavor, best understood as “the qualities associated with a confident and assertive woman”.  In its semantic change, “brat” has joined some other historically negative words & phrases (“bitch”, “bogan”, the infamous “N-word(s)” etc) which have been “reclaimed” by those at whom the slur was once aimed, a tactic which not only creates or reinforces group identity but also re-weaponizes what was once a spent-insult so it can be used to return fire.