Vagina & Vulva

Vagina (pronounced vuh-jahy-nuh)

(1) In anatomy & zoology, in many female mammals, the moist, tube-shaped canal part of the reproductive tract which runs from the cervix of the uterus through the vulva (technically between the labia minora) to the outside of the body.

(2) In botany, the sheath formed by the basal part of certain leaves where they embrace the stem.

(3) A sheath-like part or organ (now rare even in technical literature).

(4) In colloquial (and now general) use, the vulva, or the vulva and vaginal passage collectively.

(5) In derogatory colloquial use, an un-masculine man; a weakling (now rare, “pussy” the preferred modern term).

1675-1685: A creation of Medical Latin, a learned borrowing of the Latin vāgīna.  As used in anatomy, the seventeenth century coining was a specialized application of the Latin vāgīna (a sheath, scabbard; a covering, holder; sheath of an ear of grain, hull, husk) of uncertain origin, the suggestion by some etymologists it may have been cognate with the Lithuanian vožiu & vožti (to cover with a hollow thing) dismissed by others as “speculative” or even “gratuitous proposal”.  The use in medicine is exclusive to modern science, the Latin word not used thus during Antiquity.  Vagina is a noun, vaginal & vaginalike are adjectives, vaginally is an adverb; the noun plural is vaginas or vaginae (the old spelling vaginæ is effectively extinct); the part of the anatomy used for copulation & childbirth in female mammals and a similar organ exists in some invertebrates.

The vluva and vagina have for centuries attracted the coining of slang terms, not all of them derogatory.  Borrowed from zoology, "camel toe" directly references the vulva's labia majora. 

In idiomatic use “vaginamoney” is (often embittered) slang for alimony, child support etc, money paid by men to ex-partners after the sundering of a relationship.  One slang form which may not survive is "hairy check book" (cheque book outside the US) because (1) checks are declining in use and (2) body-hair fashions have changed.  In psychiatry, the condition vaginaphobic describes “a fear of or morbid aversion to vaginas) and vaginaphile (an admiration for vaginas) is listed by only some dictionaries which is surprising given authors are so often given to write about them and painters are drawn to painting them (in the sense of oil on canvas etc although there’s doubtless a niche for applying paint directly).  Dating from 1908, the term “vagina dentata” entered psychiatry and its popularization is usually attributed Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) although this perception may be attributable to Freud’s works being better known and more widely read, the term used by many in the profession.  The Latin vagina dentata (toothed vagina) referenced the folk mythology in which a woman's vagina contained teeth, the implication being a consequence of sex might be emasculation or at least severe injury.  The tale was also used as a warning about having sex with unknown women and as a way of discouraging rape.  The vivid imagery of a vagina dentata (in somewhat abstract form) was used by the US military as a warning about the dangers of STIs (sexually transmitted infection (once known as sexually transmitted diseases (STD) & VD (venereal disease).  Some writers have speculated on what this revealed about Freud and his much discussed understanding of women.

Vulva (pronounced vuhl-vuh)

(1) The external female genitalia of female mammals (including the labia, mons veneris, clitoris and vaginal orifice.

(2) In helminthology, a protrusion on the side of a nematode (multivulva used to describe a phenotype of nematode characterized by multiple vulvas).

(3) In arachnology, the spermatheca and associated ducts of the female reproductive system (also known as internal epigyne or internal genitalia).

(4) An internal genital structure in female millipedes (known also as the cyphopod).

Late 1300s: A learned borrowing from the Latin vulva, from the earlier volva (womb, female sexual organ) (perhaps in the literal sense of a “wrapper”), from volvere (to turn, twist, roll, revolve (also “turn over in the mind”)), probably from volvō (to turn, to roll, to wrap around), from the primitive Indo-European root wel- (to turn, revolve), the derivatives referring to curved, enclosing objects.  In the 1970s, when Volvo automobiles weren’t noted for their precise handling, journalists enjoyed noted the translation of the Latin volvō as: “I roll”.   It was akin to the Sanskrit उल्ब (úlba) (womb).  The adjectives vulvalike (also vulva-like) & vulviform both describe objects or designs having the shape of a vulva.  Vulva is a noun, vulval, vulvaless, vulviform, vulvar, vulvate & vulvic are adjectives; the noun plural is vulvas, vulvae or vulvæ.

Ms Gillian Anderson’s “vagina dress”

Gillian Anderson, Golden Globes award ceremony 2024.

There’s nothing novel in the critical deconstruction of the dresses worn on red carpets but the one worn at the 2024 Golden Globe ceremony by actor Gillian Anderson (b 1968) also attracted the attention of word nerds.  Designed by Gabriela Hearst (b 1976), the strapless, ivory corset gown was embroidered with individually stitched embellishments in the shape of vulvas, each of which absorbed some 3½ hours of the embroider’s time.  In an allusion to her sexual wellness brand (G spot), when interviewed, Ms Anderson said she wore the piece: “…for so many reasons. It’s brand appropriate.”  The response in the press and on-line appeared to be (mostly) positive but what did attract criticism was the widespread use of “vagina” to describe the designs, a descriptor used even by Ms Anderson herself.  The more strident of the critics seemed to detect sexual politics in what they claimed was anatomical imprecision, the implication being this lack of respect for gynaecological terminology was casual misogyny; doubts were expressed that anyone would dare confuse a scrotum with the testicles.

Anatomical diagram (left) 1958 Edsel (centre) and the detail on Gabriela Hearst's gown (right).  Although Ms Anderson probably didn't give the 1958 Edsel a thought, it does illustrate why her use of "vagina" to describe the embroidered motifs is defensible.

The pedants are correct in that technically the “vulva” describes on the external portion of the genitalia that leads to the vagina; the vulva including the labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris.  The labia is also a complex structure which includes the labia majora (the thick, outer folds of skin protecting the vulva’s internal structure) and the labia minora (the thin, inner folds of skin directly above the vagina).  However, for almost a hundred years, the term “vagina” has widely been used to refer to the vulva and has come to function as a synecdoche for the entire female genitalia and so prevalent has the use become that even medical professionals use “vagina” thus unless great precision is required.  Still, given Ms Anderson’s brand is concerned with such matters, perhaps the historically correct use might have been better but the actor herself noted “…it has vaginas on it” so linguistically, her proprietorial rights should be acknowledged.

The Edsel, the grill and the myths

1958 Edsel Citation convertible.

Although it went down in industrial history as one of capitalism’s most expensive failures, objectively, Ford Motor Corporation’s Edsel really wasn’t a dramatically worse car than the company’s companion brands Ford & Mercury.  Indeed that was one of the reasons for the failure in the market; sharing platforms, engines, transmissions, suspension and some body parts with Fords & Mercurys, the thing simply lacked sufficient product differentiation.  That sharing of components (and assembly plants; Ford sending the Edsels down the existing production lines in the same factories) also makes it hard to believe the often quoted US$300 million (between US$2.5-3 billion expressed in 2024 values) Ford booked as a loss against the abortive venture as anything but an opportunity taken by the accountants to dump all the bad news in one go, certain taxation advantages also able to be gained with this approach. 

1959 Edsel Corsair two-door hardtop.

The very existence Edsel was owed to a system devised by Alfred P Sloan (1875–1966) while president of General Motors (GM).  Sloan is now mostly forgotten by all but students of industrial & economic history but he was instrumental in the development some of the concepts which underpinned the modern economy including frequent product changes (for no functional purpose), planned obsolescence and consumer credit.  What the Sloan system did was provide GM’s customers with a “status ladder” in which the company could produce a range of products (with substantial cross-amortization) at price points which encouraged them to “step up” to the next level as their disposable income increased.  At one point, GM’s brand-range had nine rungs but the Great Depression of the 1930s necessitated some pruning and what eventually emerged was a five rung system: Chevrolet, Pontiac, Oldsmobile, Buick & Cadillac.  In the 1950s, when the US economy enjoyed the unusual conjunction of rising incomes, stable prices and a remarkably (by both historic and contemporary standards) small disparity between the wealth of the rich and poor, this produced the swelling middle class which was the target market for most consumer products and certainly those on the Sloan ladder.  Ford had in 1938 added a rung when the Mercury brand was spliced between Ford and Lincoln but in the mid 1950s, the MBAs convinced the company the Sloan system was the key to GM’s lead in the market and they too re-structured the company’s products into five rungs: Ford, Mercury, Edsel, Lincoln & Continental.  Actually, in a harbinger, the loss-making Continental Division lasted barely a season, folded into Lincoln before the Edsel debuted for the 1958 model year but the MBAs kept the faith.

It turned out to be misplaced although in fairness to them, the circumstances in 1958 were unfortunate, a short but sharp recession shocking consumers who had become accustomed to growth and stability, believing that such unpleasantness belonged to the pre-war past.  The Edsel never recovered.  Although sales in 1958 were disappointing, given the state of the economy, it could have been worse but Ford’s market research (focus groups a thing even then) had identified problems and in response toned down the styling and moved the brand down-market, notionally to sit between Ford & Mercury, a gap which in retrospect didn’t exist.  Sales dropped that year by about a third and the writing was on the wall, although surprising many, a pared-down Edsel range was released for 1960 using Ford’s re-styled bodies but it seemed not many were fooled and fewer than 3000 left the factory before late in 1959 the end of the brand was announced.

1960 Edsel Ranger Sedan.

Really little more than a blinged-up Ford, the Edsel failed because for such a "hyped" product it was a disappointment and in that it can be compared to something like the administration of Barack Obama (b 1961; US president 2009-2017).  Barack Obama was not a bad president and he didn’t lead a bad government, indeed most objective analysts rate his term as “above average” but he disappointed because he promised so much, the soaring rhetoric (“highfalutin nonsense” as the press baron Lord Beaverbrook (1879-1964) would have put it) which offered hope and change never realized.  There was also the Elsel’s styling.  There was much clumsiness in the detailing (although the whole US industry was similarly afflicted in 1958) but the single most polarizing aspect was the vertical grill assembly, controversial not because it was a regression to something which had become unfashionable in the “longer, lower, wider” era but because of the shape which to some suggested a woman’s vulva.  Many said that (some preferring “vagina” or “genitalia”) though in those more polite times some publications were reluctant to use such language in print and preferred to suggest the grill resembled a “toilet seat” although that was (literally) a bit of a stretch (and Chrysler's Virgil Exner (1909–1973) was already applying them to trunk lids); more memorable was Time magazine’s “an Oldsmobile sucking a lemon”.

1958 Edsel (left) and 1958 Oldsmobile (right).  One can see why someone at Time magazine thought of "an Oldsmobile sucking a lemon".

1958 Edsel Bermuda “Woody” station wagon.  The “woody” nickname was applied to the station wagons from all manufacturers although after the early 1950s the “wood” was a combination of fibreglass and the DI-NOC plastic appliqué.  The look was intended to evoke the look of the partially timbered-bodied station wagons in production until the early 1950s (Chrysler in the 1960s even did a few convertibles recalling earlier models) and in the US the look lasted until the 1990s.  Ford’s attempt in the 1960s to tempt British & Australian buyers with the charms of DI-NOC proved unsuccessful.

As much as the sedans and convertibles, the Edsel station wagons were just as unwanted.  The Bermuda station wagon was offered only for the 1958 model year and it managed sales of only 2,235, 779 the nine-seater version with an additional row of seating in the rear section, a configuration which was always popular with US buyers in the era before mini-vans and SUVs.  The three-row Bermuda was the rarest of the 1958 Edsels but collectors still price them below the convertibles.  If the vulva-themed front end was confronting, there was a strangeness too at the rear, the turn-indicator lights in the shape of an arrow, a traditional symbol to indicate the intended direction of travel but bizarrely, the Edsel’s arrows pointed the opposite direction, something necessitated by the need to blend the shape with that of the body’s side moldings.

Safari

Safari (pronounced suh-fahr-ee)

(1) A journey or expedition, for hunting, exploration, or investigation, historically applied especially to expeditions in eastern Africa.

(2) The hunters, guides, vehicles, equipment, etc, forming such an expedition.

(3) Used loosely (sometimes very loosely), any long or adventurous journey or expedition (although usually restricted to non-developed, hot places with abundant wildlife).

(4) To go on a safari; to take part in a safari.

(5) In fashion, as “safari suit”, a men’s outfit of dubious appeal.

1890: From the Swahili safari (journey), from the Arabic سَفَر‎ (safar) (referring to a journey) from safara (to travel) & safarīya (travelling).  Etymologists consider the word “safari” was absorbed into English in 1890, having been documented since 1860s as a foreign word in the sense of “an expedition over country in East Africa lasting days or weeks, particularly for purposes of hunting”.  The Swahili safar (journey) first appeared in English publications in 1858.  From the 1920s, as an adjective “safari” was applied liberally to devices & appliances used on or associated with safaris (safari knife, safari park, safari trailer, safari map et al) but ultimately most influential was the safari jacket, a practical garment (robustly tailored with lots of pockets) which unfortunately would in the 1960s be picked up by the industry as the “safari suit”, perhaps the most derided piece of men’s fashion in the 1970s which, given what that decade produced, was quite an achievement.  The nouns safarier, safarigoer & safariman (all descriptors of “those who go on a safari) seem to have gone extinct but surfari (surfers travelling from beach to beach in search of the best waves) is still sometimes heard though “whale-watching” seems to have replaced “whale safari”.  Safari is a noun, verb & adjective, safaried & safariing are verbs; the noun plural is safaris.

Mercedes-Benz 450 SLC 5.0, Safari Rally, Kenya, 1979.  The big 450 SLC 5.0 was one of the more improbable rally cars but it enjoyed some success in long-distance events.  In motorsport, the annual rally in Kenya was between 1953-1959 known as the “Coronation Safari Rally” and between then and 1974 as the “East African Safari”; subsequently, it's been called the "Safari Rally".  The name “East African Safari Rally” was revived in 2003 as an event for historic rally cars and run biannually (COVID-19 permitting).

Chrysler South Africa's advertising for the Valiant Safaris, 1972.  The V8 versions used the same 318 cubic inch (5.2 litre (LA)) engine offered in Australia but instead of the 245 (4.0) & 265 (4.3) "Hemi" sixes, the South African cars were fitted with the old 225 (3.6) "slant-six" so the government's local content rules could be met.  Interestingly, on the Safari Premium (the equivalent of the Australian Regal & 770 models), the US-flavored DI-NOC appliqué (imitation wood) was glued to the sides, something Chrysler never used in Australia.

In Australia during the 1960s and much of the 1970s, Chrysler’s mainstream model was the Valiant, based on the US A-Body (compact) corporate platform.  After 1963, the Australian range included a station wagon which was dubbed the “Safari”, the name retained in export markets including New Zealand, South Africa and the United Kingdom.  In New Zealand, the nomenclature rarely changed but the utility models sold there and in the home market as the “Wayfarer”, when exported to South Africa were badged as “Rustlers”.  After 1973, the Safari name was dropped and station wagons were known thereafter as “station wagons”.  The appearance of a machine like the Valiant in the UK market probably seems curious given that although a “compact” in US terms, by European standards it was unfashionably large but Chrysler, having ceased production of the antiquated Humber Super Snipes upon their absorption of the Rootes Group, wanted to plug the gap in their range and the Australian product was an attractive option because, prior to the UK in 1973 joining the European Economic Community (EEC), the imports from Commonwealth nations enjoyed a preferential tariff arrangements meaning they could be offered at a lower cost.  Never a great success, the programme nevertheless lingered on even after the UK entered the EEC, ending in 1977.

Mercedes-Benz 220 SE Coupé (foreground) & cabriolet (background) with standard rear bench seats, Frankfurt, September 1961 (left) & 1965 220 SE coupé with safari seat option (right).

One rarely specified option on the Mercedes-Benz W111 (1961-1971; 220 SE, 250 SE, 280 SE & 280 SE 3.5) & W112 (1962-1967; 300 SE) coupés and cabriolets was the fitting of two individual (bucket) seats in the rear instead of the usual bench.  Individual seats in a car’s rear compartment had actually been not uncommon in the early days of motoring but by 1961, when the W111 coupé was released at the Geneva Motor Show, except for a few coach-built rarities, the option was unique.  The factory called then “safari seats”, the source of that being their special metal frame which actually permitted them to be removed and placed on the ground outside, the implication presumably that this would be handy for those on safari who wished to sit outside and watch the zebras.  Whether many of these machines were taken on safari isn’t known but the concept was transferrable to those going on picnics or watching the polo.  On both sides of the Atlantic, the fitting of individual rear-seats caught on for some high-end models but other than in some utility vehicles intended mostly for off-road use, no manufacturer made them removable.

Great moments in the history of the safari suit.  Charles III (b 1948; King of the United Kingdom since 2022) & Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) visiting Uluru (formerly known as Ayers Rock) in Australia's Northern Territory, 1983 (left) and Kim Jong-il (Kim II, 1941-2011; Dear Leader of DPRK (North Korea) 1994-2011) (right).  Despite decades of debate, fashionistas have never agreed who wore it best.

The “safari jacket” was a name applied to a style of clothing which evolved to suit the demands of travel in the sort of places which had become associated with “going on safari”.  The jackets were constructed with a robust material which was resistant to contact with the foliage likely to be encountered and they included fittings like multiple pockets and often some provision for carrying rifle bullets or shotgun shells in a manner which made them easily accessible.  That was fine but the fashion industry discovered them in the late 1960s and during the following decades actually persuaded some men that the “safari suit” was a good idea.  It was not and not only did it take an unconscionable time a-dying, in the twenty-first century there’s been the odd attempt at a revival.  Men should thus avoid the look but on women the safari suit can be quite alluring.

Lindsay Lohan on safari, meeting zebras.

Esquire

Esquire (pronounced es-kwahyuhr or e-skwahyuhr)

(1) An unofficial title of respect (usually with no precise definition or significance and sometimes self-conferred), placed (often in its abbreviated form), after a man's surname in formal written address (used with initial capital letter).

(2) In the US, an informal honorific used by lawyers (male & female).

(3) In the UK, a term applied to a commoner considered to have gained the social position of a gentleman (historically a man belonging to the order of English gentry ranking immediately below a knight).

(4) An alternative form for squire when that was used to mean “a youth who in the hopes of becoming a knight attends upon a knight” (obsolete).

(5) To raise to the rank of esquire; in medieval use the attendant and shield bearer of a knight (and subsequently sometimes knighted themselves), one practical significance of the title being it conferred the right to bear arms.

(6) In heraldry, a bearing similar in form to a gyron, but extending across the field so that the point touches the opposite edge of the escutcheon.

(7) To address as Esquire.

(8) A gentleman who attends or escorts a lady in public; a male escort (rare and long archaic except when applied humorously or euphemistically (as a sanitized alternative to “tame cat”, “rent boy” et al).

1425–1475: From the late Middle English esquier, from the Middle French escuyer & escuier (shield bearer; an attendant young man in training to be a knight), from the Old French esquiere, esquierre & esquarre (square), from the Latin scūtārius (“shield bearer”, “guardsman”, the construct being scūt(um) (shield) + -ārius (-ary).  The suffix -aris was a form of -ālis with dissimilation of -l- to -r- after roots containing an l (the alternative forms were -ālis, -ēlis, -īlis & -ūlis); it was used to form adjectives, usually from noun, indicating a relationship or a "pertaining to").  The form reached modern French as écuyer (shield-bearer, armor-bearer, squire of a knight, esquire, equerry, rider, horseman).  Rather (as some might reasonably suppose) than esquire being formed as e- + - squire, the word squire was a product of apheresis (the suppression or complete loss of a letter or sound (syllable) from the beginning of a word) from the earlier French & English.  Esquire is a noun & verb and esquired & esquiring are verbs; the noun plural is esquires.

Esquire began as a feudal rank ranking below a knight, the origin of the word in the role of a squire who attended upon a knight as a kind of combination of personal assistant, apprentice and servant.  For those not from established families, it was one of the few available paths to knighthood.  As the historic role of knights receded in the sixteenth century, the use broadened to encompass (1) the educated or professional class (especially those practicing in law) & (2) members of the gentry and their sons not otherwise entitled to some title.  In the US, esquire became attached to lawyers (both male & female), probably as an identifier to align in some way with the “Dr” granted to physicians because by convention, those with vocational doctorates (Doctor of Jurisprudence (J.D., JD, D.Jur., or DJur) don’t use the “Dr” like those with higher or research doctorates (Ph.D, D.Sc, DCL et al).  Reflecting the shared origin with lawyers as “men of letters” (the lawyers more anxious to acknowledge their past than the surgeons are to recall they came out of the barber shops) writers and journalists also long liked to adopt an “esq” though much derision means it’s now less common.

Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Ranfurly Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax KCB.

In England, for historic reasons, the history and current usage is complicated.  The title is granted to the eldest sons of knights, the elder sons of the younger sons of peers and their eldest sons in succession, officers of the king's courts and of the royal household, barristers, justices of the peace while in commission & sheriffs and is available to gentlemen who have held commissions in the military.  It thus enjoys a wide vista but even now a definitive listing of the correct use has never been codified and some view it as pretentious even when technically correct.  Littered in the history of honors are also curiosities like the right of a Knight of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath to appoint three esquires at the time of his installation, something which seems of ancient origin but was formalized in 1815 when the old order of knighthood (KB) was re-organized into three classes: Knight Grand Cross (GCB), Knight Commander (KCB) & Companion (CB).  One task a KCB’s helpful esquire might have performed was to assist translators in formal ceremonies.  In 1939, when Admiral Sir Reginald Aylmer Ranfurly Plunkett-Ernle-Erle-Drax, KCB, DSO, JP, DL (1880-1967) was introduced at a ceremony in Moscow, diplomatic protocol required his honors be read out in full, the Russian translator rendering his KCB as рыцарь умывальник (rytsar' umyval'nik) (Knight of the Wash Tub).  The Russians couldn’t help but laugh and fortunately, the admiral shared their amusement.  In legal documents and in uses deemed formal, Esquire is usually written in full after the names of those using the designation.  It’s otherwise abbreviated to Esq or (the now less common) Esqr.  Those conventions should in theory be observed also when adding an address to an envelope and American lawyers settled on a post-nominal Esq. (almost always with the needless period (full-stop)) in their e-mail signature blocks.

Lindsay Lohan attending the Esquire and DKNY fashion show, London, June 2014.

Squire was a truncation of esquire, the process known technically linguistics as apheresis (the suppression or complete loss of a letter or sound (syllable) from the beginning of a word).  It too was thus from the Old French escuier, from the Late Latin scutarius (shield bearer) which is Old English was spelled scutifer.  The equivalent in the Classical Latin was armiger (arms bearer).  The early meanings of squire were essentially the same as those attached to esquire but it evolved in England by the mid seventeenth century also to describe (with some variations) “a substantial landholder in a town or village who is a landlord to most or many inhabitants”.  The less formal term “lord of the manor” was essentially analogous and given the nature of the class system and economic relations in England, the role of squire often overlapped with offices such as that or mayor or magistrate and that (linguistic) tradition continues in contemporary American use, “squire” the title used for justices of the peace or similar local dignitaries.  Although the attractive slang forms squirearchy & squiress seem not to have survived, in UK working class slang, “squire” is used in a respectful and friendly way between men, a democratic re-purposing of the earlier sense of “country gentlemen”, dating from 1828.  The meaning “a ruler; a carpenter's square; a measure” was derived from the Middle French esquierre (rule, carpenter's square) or the Old French esquire (another form of esquarre (square)) and is long obsolete.

Ford Country Squires: 1951 (with genuine wood, left), 1959 (centre) and 1971 (right).

Long replaced in public favor by even more commodious SUVs, vans and people-movers, mass-market station wagons were a post-war phenomenon and in the US popular until the late 1980s.  Consistently the best-selling of the full-sized breed were the big Fords, the top-of-the-range being the Country Squire which was available between 1950-1991.  Its most distinctive feature was the “woodgrain” Appliqué which adorned the sides and for most of the Country Squire’s life it was rendered in DI-NOC, (Diurno Nocturna, from the Spanish, literally “daytime-nighttime” and translated for marketing purposes as “beautiful day & night”), an embossed vinyl or polyolefin material with a pressure-sensitive adhesive backing produced since the 1930s and perfected by Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing (3M).  The early cars (1950-1951) though actually used genuine timber in a nod to earlier coach-building traditions which were actually an economic imperative, station wagons (until the suburban developments of the post-war years made them popular) never produced in sufficient volume to make viable tooling factories for production in metal.  Much cheaper, the plastic DI-NOC replaced the timber in 1952 (although the perimeter moldings remained timber until 1953, after which 3M produced an emulation) and other manufacturers copied the idea which eventually spread beyond station wagons.  It was very much a thing which suited US tastes, Ford’s attempt to tempt UK & Australian buyers short-lived.

One-off 1967 Ford Country Squire with Q-Code 428 V8 and four-speed manual transmission.

Like most big station wagons, almost all the Country Squires were built for function and although the engines might sometimes be large (in the 1970s they were available with 429 & 460 cubic inch (7.0 & 7.5 litre) V8s), they were configured to carry or tow heavy loads and were thus sold almost always with heavy-duty automatic transmissions.  In 1967 however, there was a one-off Country Squire built with the combination of a 428 cubic inch (7.0 litre) V8 in Q-Code configuration, the “Q” a reference to the four-barrel (quad) carburetor, the most powerful offered that year in full-sized Fords (except for 12 Ford XLs with the 427 cubic inch V8 built mostly for competition).  Such vehicles are usually unicorns, often discussed and sometimes even created as latter-day “tributes” and are thus rarely "real" but the 1967 Country Squire is a genuine one-off and as a type may be unique not only among Fords but also the entire full-size ecosystem of the era.  The tale is sometimes still repeated that Plymouth built a special order Belvedere station wagon at the request of Bill Harrah (1911–1978) of Harrah's Hotel and Casinos in Nevada (now part of Caesars Entertainment) with the 426 cubic inch (7.0 litre) HEMI V8 for the rapid transport of cash across the desert but that is a myth and the coda (that Harrah decided instead to build his own) is just as unverified.  So the 1967 Country Squire is a curious period piece and a collectors’ item; despite its dilapidated appearance, in 2020 it sold at auction in the US for almost US$50,000.

Lindsay Lohan in Esquire (Middle East).

Appliqué

Appliqué (pronounced ap-li-key)

(1) Ornamentation, as a decorative cut-out design, sewn on, glued or otherwise applied to a piece of material.

(2) The practice of decorating in this way

(3) A work so formed or an object so decorated.

(4) A decorative feature, as a sconce, applied to a surface.

(5) To apply, as appliqué to.

(6) In medicine, of a red blood cell infected by the malarial parasite Plasmodium falciparum, assuming a form in which the early trophozoite of Plasmodium falciparum parasitises the marginal portion of the red blood cell, appearing as if the parasite has been “applied”.

1841: From the from French appliqué (work applied or laid on to another material), noun use of the past participle of appliquer (to apply), from the twelfth century Old French apliquier), from the Latin applicare (attach to, join, connect) and the source of “apply” in Modern English.  The alternative spelling is applique and in French, the feminine was appliquée, the masculine plural appliqués & the feminine plural appliquées.  As a verb, appliqué refers to a method of construction but as a noun, depending on the item, the synonyms can include finery, ornament, plaque, ribbon, trinket, wreath, brocade, decoration, lace, needlepoint, quilting, tapestry, mesh, arabesque, bauble, braid, curlicue, dingbat & embellishment.  Appliqué is a noun, verb & adjective appliquéd is a verb & adjective and appliquéing is a verb; the noun plural is appliqués.

The woodie wagon and the descent to DI-NOC appliqué

Horse drawn carriages of course began with timber construction, metal components added as techniques in metallurgy improved.  The methods of construction were carried over to the horseless carriages, most early automobiles made with a steel chassis and bodywork which could be of metal, wood or even leather, located by a wooden frame.  That endured for decades before being abandoned by almost all manufacturers by the 1970s, Morgan remaining one of the few traditionalists, their craftspeople (some of whom are now women) still fashioning some of the internal structure (attached to the aluminum chassis) from lovingly shaped and sanded English ash.

Early woodies:  1934 Ford V8 Model 40 woodie wagon (left), 1941 Packard One-Ten woodie wagon (centre) and 1949 Mercury 9CM woodie wagon (right).

During the inter-war years, the timberwork again became prominent in the early shooting brakes and station wagons.  Because such vehicles were limited production variations of the standard models, it wasn’t financially viable to build the tooling required to press the body panels so a partially complete cars were used (often by an external specialist), onto which was added the required coachwork, all fashioned in timber in the same manner used for centuries.  In the US, the cars were known as woodie wagons (often spelled woody in the UK where the same techniques were used) and the more expensive were truly fine examples of the cabinet-maker’s art, the timbers sometimes carefully chosen to match the interior appointments.  So much did the highly-polished creations resemble the fine oak, walnut and mahogany furniture with which the rich were accustomed to being around that they began to request sedans and convertibles built in the same way and the industry responded with top-of-the-range models with timber doors and panels replacing the pressed metal used on the cheaper versions.

1947 Nash Ambassador sedan (left), 1947 1948 Chrysler Town & Country convertible (centre) and 1947 Cadillac Series 75 Limousine 1947 (right).  Such was the appeal of the intricate woodwork that in the 1940s, manufacturers offered it on very expensive models although the timber offered no functional advantage over metal construction.

General Motors (GM) in 1935 actually introduced an all-steel model with station wagon coachwork but it was on a light-truck chassis (shades of the twenty-first century) and intended more for commercial operators; nobody then followed GM’s example.  The woodies were of course less practical and in some climates prone to deterioration, especially when the recommended care and maintenance schedules were ignored but demand continued and some returned to the catalogue in 1946 when production of civilian automobiles resumed from the war-time hiatus but these lines were almost all just the 1942 cars with minor updates.  By 1949, the manufacturers had introduced their genuinely new models, the construction of which was influenced by the lessons learned during the war years when factories had been adapted to make a wide range of military equipment.  Although woodies remained briefly available in some of the new bodies, one innovation which emerged from this time was the new “all steel” station wagon which was not only cheaper to produce than the labor-intensive woodie but something ideally suited to the emerging suburban populations and it would for decades be one of the industry’s best-sellers, decline not setting in until the mid-1970s.

US manufacturers applied the appliqué for decades and until 1953, Ford even used real timber for the DI-NOC's perimeter molding.  Some were worse than others.

However, although by the mid-1950s, the all-steel bodies had in the US replaced all but the handful of coach-built wagons made for those who valued exclusivity more than practicality, there was still a nostalgic longing for the look of timber.  It was too expensive to use the real stuff but what was adapted was DI-NOC, (Diurno Nocturna, from the Spanish, literally “daytime-nighttime” and translated for marketing purposes as “beautiful day & night”), an embossed vinyl or polyolefin material with a pressure-sensitive adhesive backing produced since the 1930s and perfected by Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing (3M).  Described as an “architectural finish”, it was used mostly for interior design purposes in hundreds of patterns and was able to be laid over a variety of substrates such as drywall, metal, and laminate.  Remarkably effective at emulating (at a distance) more expensive materials such as wood, leather, marble, metal or granite, what the manufacturers did was not re-create the appearance of the original woodies but instead unleash the designers on the large side-surfaces of the modern Amerian car, the results mostly variations of a theme and polarizing, the DI-NOC appliqués something one either loved or hated.

1963 Ford Consul Cortina 1500 (Mk1 “Woody” estate) (left) and 1963 Ford Falcon Squire (left).  Neither sold well or were offered for long, the Falcon’s DI-NOC particularly ill-suited to the Australian summer.

It was the Americans who fell in love with the look and in the 1960s and 1970s, a wide range of cars, large and small and all of them station wagons were available off the showroom floor, complete with a faux-woodgrain appliqué glued to the flanks and sometimes the tailgate.  3M claimed it looked exactly like the real thing and at night, that was actually true although close-up, daylight exposed reality like the ugly lights in a night-club, something especially noted of a DI-NOCed machine which has spent a couple of summers baking in the Arizona sun.  Still, nobody actually claimed it was real wood and unlike something subtle like a badge, several square feet of DI NOC plastered on the sides was a way of telling everyone you bought the most expensive model.  Detroit had established colonies in England, Australia and Germany and there they tried to export the DI-NOC idea.  The Prussians weren’t tempted but Ford did briefly offer an embellished Cortina in the UK and the Falcon Squire in Australia.

Real, sort of real and surreal.  1964 Morris Minor Traveller (left), 1961 advertisement for the Morris Mini Traveller (centre) and the custom (originally a 1960 3.4 FHC (fixed head coupé)) Jaguar XK150 shooting brake (Foxbat).

In the UK, one traditional woodie did enjoy a long life, the Morris Traveller, introduced in 1953 as an addition to the Minor range (1948-1972 (1975 in overseas markets)) remaining in production until 1971, the body aft of the doors formed with structural timber members which supported infill panels in painted aluminum.  It was the last true woodie in production and is now a thing in the lower reaches of the collector market, one donating its rear compartment to someone who wanted the Jaguar XK150 shooting brake the factory never made.  Dubbed the Foxbat, it has been restored as a charming monument to English eccentricity.  However, while the Minor Traveller was real, the subsequent Mini Traveller (1961–1969) was a curious hybrid: Structurally it was exactly the same car as the Mini station wagon, the external members real wood but wholly decorative affectations which were attached directly to the steel body, the "infill" panels an illusion.  The original Mini enjoyed a forty-year life between 1959-2000 but when in 2001 BMW introduced their retro-flavored take on the idea, although they resurrected a few motifs, they didn’t bring back a woodie, fake, faux or real.

Lindsay Lohan in lace appliqué trousers and black swimsuit, Mykonos, Greece, August 2016.

Voodoo

Voodoo (pronounced voo-doo)

(1) A polytheistic religion practiced chiefly by those in or from the Caribbean deriving principally from African cult worship and containing ritualistic elements borrowed from the Catholic religion.

(2) A person who practices this religion.

(3) A fetish or other object of voodoo worship.

(4) A group of magical and ecstatic rites associated with voodoo.

(5) Generalized slang term for black magic; sorcery.

(6) Of or pertaining to, associated with, or practicing voodoo.

(7) In informal use as pejorative adjective applied as a critique of anything characterized by deceptively simple, almost as if magical, solutions or ideas.

1850s: A creation of US English derived from several words in the Louisiana Creole French vandoux, vandoo and vodun, from the Haitian Creole vodou, the exact origin of which remains uncertain but etymologists conclude the source was West African, such as Ewe vódũ (deity, idol), the Fon vòdún (fetish) or vodũ which existed in a number of Kwa languages although in the anthropological record there are references to Vandoo, said to be the name of an African deity, from a language of Dahomey).  The documentation is sparse but the researchers also recorded vodun (a fetish connected with snake worship in Dahomey) which they linked to vo which had the senses of “to be afraid” & “harmful”.  Use as a verb was first noted in 1880.

Slavery in the Caribbean had the interesting effect of bringing the religious practices of enslaved West Africans into contact with the ritualistic Roman Catholicism practices in the French and Spanish colonies, and structurally, there were striking similarities, the absorption of the Church’s influence (in form if not theology) resulting in distinct New World religions like Haitian Vodou and Louisiana Voodoo.  Voodoo is best known as a form of animism involving trances and other rituals including communicating with the souls of the dead and it remains widely practiced in the Caribbean.  The late nineteenth century word Hoodoo is thought a variation and it may have been an imperfect echoic but there are specialists who list it as a separate practice derived from the Vodun of Benin, Togo, and Burkina Faso (formerly the Upper Volta).  The words Voodoo and Hoodoo interact in practice, a Hoodoo often a physical object said to be vested with magical powers or qualities as a result of some Voodoo ritual.  For some time, the common name in English for all these religious traditions was Voodoo and it remains part of the modern English vernacular (sometimes figuratively (eg voodoo economics)) but the capitalized proper noun Voodoo should be used only to describe the religion as practiced in Louisiana, the spellings Vodou and Vodú correct if referring to the traditions in Haiti and Cuba respectively.

However, Voodoo was appropriated by popular culture to describe a number of practices both poorly understood and deliberately exoticized in the West.  In some cases, there were pure inventions and spiritual practices involving charmed objects inspired imaginative authors and script-writers to create the so-called “voodoo doll,” despite there being no record of stabbing an effigy with pins in Africa, the Caribbean or the US slave states.  Hollywood also embraced the zombie.  In Vodou, the zombie is a living but soulless individual whose free will has been taken by a powerful sorcerer or bocor, not the risen dead monster depicted in films, books, and video games.  Ultimately, use of the word voodoo is complicated by widespread familiarity with the appropriated, secular, pop culture mythology of the entertainment industry—a mythology that poorly represents or directly conflicts with the authentic religious and historical core of Voodoo and related spiritual traditions such as Vodun, Vodou, and Hoodoo.

Crooked Hillary Clinton voodoo doll (2016).  Crooked Hillary Clinton has never denied practicing voodoo.

In the 2016 US presidential election, there were plenty who hated one or other of the candidates and a good many who found the choice uninspiring.  These three target markets were served by artist Shane Bugbee (b 1968) who offered voters a practical device with which to visit a plague on either or both their hoses: Donald Trump and crooked Hillary Clinton voodoo dolls.  Hand-made in the US (a small contribution to making America great again (MAGA)) with a screen printed appliqué, each stood six inches (150 mm) tall and was supplied with a handful of stick pins although the blood-thirsty who wished to inflict more severe injuries could certainly use their tools, instruments or devices of choice.  No information was provided as to flammability but anyone wishing to see crooked Hillary burned at the stake (the Lord forbid) wasn’t discouraged from trying.  Each voodoo doll was produced in a run of 666 hand-numbers editions and listed at US$13 each or US$20 for the pair.

In 2005. Mattel released a Lindsay Lohan doll, the accessories including a velvet rope, popcorn, a director's chair, make-up case, designer handbag, shoes, clothes and jewelry.  The doll could be re-purposed for anyone wanting a Lindsay Lohan voodoo doll (the Lord forbid).

Technically, what is in popular culture called a voodoo doll should probably be called a hoodoo doll or even just a hoodoo because it is an inert object transformed by a spell or other ritual.  Although Voodoo priests have for decades confirmed the use of effigies for this purpose has no part in their traditions, the practice does exist in other cultures and voodoo dolls are widely available in shrink-wrap while for those who prefer to make their own, instruction sets are downloadable.  For those with a doll, the process is much the same as the process of consecration familiar in many Christian denominations in that once the ritual of choice is performed, doll becomes voodoo doll.  When it has served its purpose, it may be returned to an inert status by the appropriate ritual (the equivalent of the act of de-consecration).

The Love Me or Die by C W Stoneking

I studied evil, I can't deny,

Was a hoodoo charm called a Love Me or Die,

Some fingernail, a piece of her dress,

Apocathery, Devil's behes'

I will relate, the piteous consequence my mistake,

Fallin slave to passin desire,

Makin' the dreaded Love me or Die.

 

Against a Jungle primeval green,

She had the looks of a beauty queen

No bangles or chain, wearin' broken shoe

Seventy-five cent bottle perfume.

I said, "Good mornin", I tipped my hat,

All the while I was cunning like a rat,

Smilin gaily, looked her in the eye,

I felt in pocket, the Love me or Die.

 

My past history, one to behold,

I studied magic from days of old,

Membership, secret societies,

Power and wealth in my family

But Matilda, Darling,

Why you don't take my wedding ring,

Like a demon under the floor,

I buried the hoodoo down the back door.

 

Lawd, word broke through the town,

That a fever strike Matilda down,

Nine thirty, the doctor arrive,

Priest come runnin, quarter to five.

Standin in the weeds early next day,

I saw the meat wagon rollin away,

I seen Matilda layin in the back,

Her old mother wearin a suit of black

 

Sound the trumpet, and bang the drum,

I wait for me judgement to come,

I know her spirit is down beneath,

I hear the weepin and gnashing of the teeth.

Flames of Hell licks at my feet,

In the shadow of the Jungle I feel the heat,

Matilda's waiting in Hell for me too,

All cause she died from a bad hoodoo.