Blurb

Blurb (pronounced blurb)

(1) A brief promotional piece, almost always laudatory, used historically for books, latterly for about any product.

(2) To advertise or praise in the manner of a blurb.

1907: Coined by US graphic artist and humorist Gelett Burgess (1866–1951).  Blurbs are a specific type of advertisement, similar exercises in other contexts known also as “puff pieces”, “commendations” or “recommendations”.  The use of "puff" is thought based on the character "Mr Puff" in the burlesque satire The Critic: or, a Tragedy Rehearsed (1779) by the Anglo-Irish Whig playwright Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816).  Generally, blurbs contain elements designed to tempt a buyer which may include a précis (something less than a detailed summary), a mention of the style and a recommendation.  The term was originally invoked to mock the excessive praise printed on book jackets and was often parodied in a derisively imitative manner and is still sometimes critically used thus but it’s also now a neutral descriptor and an accepted part of the publishing industry.  Blurb is a noun & verb, blurbing & blurbed are verbs, blurbist is a noun and blurbish is an adjective; the noun plural is blurbs.

The blurb has apparently existed for some two-thousand–odd years but the word became well-known only after a publishing trade association dinner in 1907, Gelett Burgess displaying a dust jacket printed with the words “YES, this is a “BLURB”!”, featuring the (fictitious) Miss Belinda Blurb who was said to have been photographed “...in the act of blurbing”, Burgess adding that to blurb was “… to make a sound like a publisher…” and was “…a check drawn on fame, and it is seldom honoured”.  There are sources claiming the word was coined by US academic and literary critic Brander Matthews (1852–1929) in his essay American Character (1906) but Professor Matthews acknowledged the source genuinely was Burgess, writing in the New York Times (24 September 1922): “Now and again, in these columns I have had the occasion to employ the word “blurb”, a colourful and illuminating neologism which we owe to the verbal inventiveness of Mr Gelett Burgess”.

Burgess had released Are You a Bromide? in 1906 and while sales were encouraging, he suggested to his publishers (BW Huebsch) that each of the attendees and the upcoming industry dinner should receive a copy with a “special edition” dust cover.  For this, Burgess used the picture of a young lady who had appeared in an advertisement for dental services, snapped in the act of shouting.  It was at the time common for publishers to use pictures of attractive young ladies for book covers, even if the image was entirely unrelated to the tome’s content, the object being to attract a male readership.  Burgess dubbed his purloined model “Miss Belinda Blurb” and claimed she had been photographed “in the act of blurbing”; mid-blurb as it were.

Are you a Bromide? (Publisher's special edition, 1907).

The dust cover was headed with the words “YES, this is a “BLURB”! All the Other Publishers commit them. Why Shouldn’t We?” and knowing a blurb should not in moderation do what can be done in excess, went on to gush about the literary excellence of his book in rather the manner a used car salesman might extol the virtues of some clapped-out car in the corner of the yard.  His blurb concluded “This book is the Proud Purple Penultimate!”  The industry must have been inspired because the blurb has become entrenched, common in fiction and non-fiction alike and the use of the concept can be seen in film, television, social media and just about anywhere there’s a desire to temp a viewer.  Indeed, the whole idea of “clickbait” (something which tells enough to tantalize but not enough to satisfy without delving deeper) is a functional application of a blurb.  Depending on the source, the inspiration for the word came from either (1) the sound made by a book as it falls to the floor, (2) the sound of a bird chirping or (3) an amalgam of “burp” & “blather”.  The author left no clue.

In his book, Burgess innovated further, re-purposing the word "bromide".  In inorganic chemistry, a bromide is a binary compound of bromine and some other element or radical, the construct being brom- (an alternative form of bromo- (used preceding a vowel) which described a substance containing bromine (from the French brome, from the Ancient Greek βρῶμος (brômos) (stink)) + ide (the suffix used in chemistry to describe substances comprising two or more related compounds.  However, early in the twentieth century, Bromide was a trade name for a widely available medicine, taken as a sedative and in some cases prescribed to diminish “an excessive sexual appetite”.  It was the sedating aspect which Burgess picked up to describe someone tiresome and given to trite remarks, explaining “a bromide” was one “…who does his thinking by syndicate and goes with the crowd” and was thus boring and banal.  A bromine’s antonym was, he helpfully advised, a “sulphite”.  Unfortunately, while blurb flourished, bromide & sulphites as binary descriptors of the human condition have vanished from the vernacular.

Lindsay Lohan with body double during shooting for Irish Wish (Netflix, due for release in 2023).  The car is a Triumph TR4.

Nteflix's blurb for Irish Wish: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride — unless, of course, your best friend gets engaged to the love of your life, you make a spontaneous wish for true love, and then magically wake up as the bride-to-be.  That’s the supernatural, romantic pickle Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls, The Parent Trap) finds herself in upcoming romantic comedy, Irish Wish.  Set in the rolling green moors of Ireland, the movie sees Lohan's Maddie learn her dreams for true love might not be what she imagined and that her soulmate may well be a different person than she originally expected. Apparently magic wishes are quite insightful.

Blurb Your Enthusiasm (2023, distributed by Simon & Schuster).

Louise Willder (b 1972) has for a quarter century been a copywriter for Penguin, in that time composing some 5000 blurbs, each a two-hundred-odd word piece which aims both to inform and tempt a purchase.  Her non-fiction debut Blurb Your Enthusiasm is not only a review of the classic blurbs (the good, the bad and the seriously demented) but also an analysis of the trends in the structure of blurbs and the subtle shifts in their emphasis although, over the centuries, the purpose seems not to have changed.  Ms Willder also documents the nuances of the blurb, the English tendency to understatement, the hyperbolic nature of Americans and the distaste the French evidently have of having to say anything which might disclose the blurb’s vulgar commercial purpose, tracing over time how changing attitudes and societal mores mean what’s now written of a nineteenth century classic is very different to when first it was published.  Inevitably too, there are the sexual politics of authorship and publishing and blurbs can reveal as much by the odd hint or what’s left unsaid than what actually appears on a dust cover.  Academics and reviewers have perhaps neglected the blurb because traditionally they've often been dismissed as mere advertising but, unless the author’s name or the subject matter is enough of a draw, even more than a cover illustration or title, it’s the blurb which can close the sale and collectively, they’re doubtlessly more widely read than reviews.  Blurb Your Enthusiasm is highly recommended.

Simonize

Simonize (pronounced sahy-muh-nahyz)

(1) To polish the exposed surfaces of an automobile (specifically using Simoniz brand products; later used generically).

(2) To shine or polish something to a high sheen, especially with wax.

Circa 1921: A creation of US English meaning "polish by the application of Simoniz wax”, from Simoniz, the registered trademark for a brand of car polish invented by George Simons who, in association with Elmer Rich of the Great Northern Railway, in 1910 formed the Simons Manufacturing Company (Chicago) to produce and sell the products.  The construct was Simoniz + “e”, the addition an emulation of the –ize prefix  Said to have been in oral use since circa 1921, lexicographers began to add simonize (as a verb with the noted meaning) to dictionaries in 1935.   In the English-speaking world, the word often appeared (outside North America) as simonise.  Simonize, simonizes, simonized & simonizing are verbs.

The –ize suffix was from the Middle English -isen, from the Middle French -iser, from the Medieval Latin -izō, from the Ancient Greek -ίζω (-ízō), from the primitive Indo-European verbal suffix -idyé-.  It was cognate with other verbal suffixes including the Gothic -itjan, the Old High German –izzen and the Old English -ettan (verbal suffix).  It was used to form verbs from nouns or adjectives which (1) make what is denoted by the noun or adjective & (2) do what is denoted by the noun or adjective.  The alternative form is –ise.  Historically, the –ize suffix was used on words originating from Greek while –ise was preferred (most prevalently as -vise, -tise, -cise and –prise) on words derived from various roots, many of which entered English via French.  In the nineteenth century, under the influence of French literature, in the UK and other parts of the British Empire, -ise often replaced –ize even when there was a long tradition of the latter’s use.  The authoritative Oxford English Dictionary (OED) never changed its spellings which meant that throughout the Empire (and later the Commonwealth), both forms appeared and before the advent of spell-checkers (which ensured that at least within a given document there was consistency) use was mixed although, under the Raj and beyond, India tended to stick to –ise.  The –ize has always been the preferred form in North America.

Spa day service station, Connecticut Avenue. Washington DC, September 1940.

Although simonize had by then entered the language as verb meaning “to shine or polish something to a high sheen, especially with wax”, one of the early conditions imposed to permit the advertising of “Simonizing” as a service was the exclusive use of genuine Simoniz brand products.

One reason companies registered trademarks used to be a wish to control the use of the name, businesses wishing to prevent their exclusive brand becoming so popular it came to be used to describe, and to some extent even define, all similar products.  The process was called genericide by the experts in business and marketing, the idea being that in becoming a generic term, some of the value invested in the product and its name was transferred to competitors.  The classic example was the vacuum cleaner made by Hoover, the word catching on to the extent that within years, just about all vacuuming came to be called “hoovering”, regardless of the manufacturer of the device doing the sucking.  The problem was that while trademark holders could restrict their use by corporations, what the public did was beyond their control and language just evolved by popular use.

The early Xerox photocopiers were always advertised as devices to be used by women.

The literature often cites Xerox as an example of the problem of the public perception of a corporation being defined in their imagination by its best known product.  The phrase “xerox it” had by the late 1960s become the default expression meaning “photocopy it” and was of concern to the corporation because they feared their differentiation in the market place would be lost.  Time however change and now, Microsoft would doubtless be delighted if “bing it” became as much a term of everyday speech as “google it”.  That is of course a little different because “Bing” is one of Microsoft’s many trademarks rather than the corporate name but the modern view now generally is that the public “verbing-up” a trademark is a very good thing and an easy way to extend the prized “brand awareness”.

The perfect secretary did much "xeroxing" but according to Xerox, would never say "xerox it".

Twitter’s case is a variation on the theme and a case study on how such matters must be managed.  The verb form “to tweet” became a verb through popular use which induced Twitter to trademark the term in 2009.  From there, the company announced they would not seek to restrict its use by third parties using “tweet” for Twitter-related services and apps but warned they would seek both injunctive relief and damages were there evidence of a “confusing or damaging project” to “to protect both our users our brand."  What Twitter wanted to do was ensure “tweet” was used in a way beneficial and not detrimental to them.

The Great Crash of 2005

Crashed and towed, Los Angeles, 2005.

In October 2005, Lindsay Lohan went for a drive in her Mercedes-Benz SL 65 AMG roadster.  It didn’t end well.  Based on the R230 (2001-2011) platform, the SL 65 AMG was produced between 2004-2012, all versions rated in excess of 600 horsepower, something perhaps not a wise choice for someone with no background handling such machinery though it could have been worse, the factory building 400 (175 for the US market, 225 for the RoW (rest of the world)) of the even more powerful SL 65 Black Series, the third occasion an SL was offered without a soft-top and the second time one had been configured with a permanent fixed-roof.  A production number of 350 is sometimes quoted but those maintaining registers insist it was 400.

Fixed and simonized, Texas, 2007.

By 2007, the car (still with California registration plates (5LZF057) attached) had been repaired, detailed & simonized and was being offered for sale in Texas, the odometer said to read 6207 miles (9989 km).  Bidding was said to be “healthy” so it was thought all's well that ends well but once the vehicle's provenance was brought to the attention of the repair shop, it was realized the celebrity connection might increase its value so it was advertised on eBay with more detail, including the inevitable click-bait of LiLo photographs.  However, either eBay doesn't approve of commerce profiting from the vicissitudes suffered by Hollywood starlets or they'd received a C&D (cease & desist) letter from someone's lawyers and the auction ended prematurely.  It proved a brief respite, the SL 65 soon back on eBay Motors but with the offending part of the blurb limited to "previously owned by high profile celebrity", leaving it to prospective buyers to join the dots.

Colophon

Colophon (pronounced kol-uh-fon or kol-uh-fuhn)

(1) A publisher's or printer's distinctive emblem (or imprint, label, logo, mark, symbol trademark etc), used as an identifying device on its books and other works, appearing variously within the covers and at the base of the spine (replicated in the same place on a dust jacket).

(2) An inscription (historically at the end of a book or manuscript but of late frequently printed towards the beginning), widely used since the fifteenth century (although the practice pre-dates the invention of printing) and providing the title or subject of the work, selected details about the author(s), the name of the printer or publisher, the date and place of publication and (less commonly), technical details such as typefaces, bibliophilic information or the paper and method of binding used.

(3) By extension, in internet use, a page on a website identifying the details of its creation, such as the author's name, the technologies used (including copyright attribution) and many other details, some or all of which may replicate the metadata associated with objects in other digital contexts.

(3) In entomology, a genus of beetles in the stag beetle family Lucanidae.

(4) In art, music, poetry etc, a finishing stroke or crowning touch (archaic except as an artistic affectation).

(5) An city in Ancient Greece (in Lydia, Asia Minor); one of the twelve Ionian cities banded together in the eighth century BC and substantially depopulated in 286 BC (always initial capital).  It was romanized as Kolophṓn.

1615-1625: From the Late Latin colophōn, from the Ancient Greek κολοφών (kolophṓn) (peak, summit; finishing touch; a finishing stroke), from the primitive Indo-European root kel (to be prominent; hill).  A colophon should not be confused with colophonite (in mineralogy a coarsely granular variety of garnet) or technical words from medicine words like coloplasty (surgery on the colon (especially partial resection or an instance of such surgery)).  The adjective Colophonian is applied to (1) an inhabitant of the Lydian city of Colophon or (2) matters of or pertaining to that city.  The term colophony (for the type of rosin) is from colophonia resina (from the Ancient Greek Κολοφωνία ῥητίνη (Kolophōnia rhētinē)) which describes the hardened resin from the pine trees of Colophon, a substance valued by the craftsmen who made stringed musical instruments because its properties were uniquely helpful in increasing the friction of bow hairs (and now used in pharmaceutical preparations & soldering fluxes though it’s still prized by those who play the violin, viola, cello etc).  Colophon is a noun and colophonic is an adjective; the noun plural is colophons.

The etymological relationship between the colophon in publishing and the Ancient Greek city of Colophon lies in the original meaning of the word and the reverence in the West for the classical world which would have found a Latin or Greek form preferable to something in brutish English like “details page”.  The Greek word κολοφών (kolophṓn) meant “peak” or “summit” and thus the ancient Lydian city in Asia Minor (what is now the land mass of the modern Republic of Türkiye) which was said to be the oldest of the twelve of the Ionian League came to be known as Colophon because it was built upon a ridgeline which rose between Ephesus & Lebedos.  From the, in Greek, kolophṓn came to be used to mean “a city or town at the summit of a hill or a signpost at the end of a trail that indicated the name and location of the place” and thus “a finishing touch; a finishing stroke”.  From this duality of meaning came the use in publishing, the bibliographic addendum called a “colophon” in the metaphorical sense of a “crowning touch” and the historic placement at the end of a book or manuscript an allusion to “the signpost at the end”.  Although it would be centuries before anything like a standardized form emerged, the concept of the colophon has been identified in texts from antiquity, recognizable versions existing as early as the second century AD.

An emulation of a colaphon.

A colophon is not an essential component of a book but many publishers have long included one.  In its most simple modern form, a colophon is a summary of technical information which includes data such as the name & insignia of the publisher, the font(s) used, the details of photographs or art used on the covers and the names of the author(s) or editor(s), along with whatever biographical data they may care to reveal.  The nature of the text also influences what’s included, books with a technical bent (and certainly those covering IT matters) likely to list software used in the composition while those which focus on photography are likely to include much about cameras.  Reflecting environment concerns, increasingly colophons include mentions of thing like sustainability in the process (which can mean much or little) or the use of recycled materials.  A colophon differs from a blurb (often printed on the back cover or a cover flap) which is a blend of promotional puff-piece and a précis of the contents.  Traditionally part of the back matter, they’re now often found among the front pages along with the title page (a more modern innovation than the colophon) appearing with the usual entries such as the date & place of publication, the copyright stamp, ISBN references etc.  In a sense, a colophon can be considered a form of metadata (which references the concept of structured information which is about other data).

Reagent

Reagent (pronounced ree-ey-juhnt)

In chemistry, a substance that produces a chemical reaction, used in analysis and synthesis.

1785: A compound word, the construct being re(act)- + agent.  The prefix re- is from the Middle English re-, from the Old French re-, from the Latin re- & red- (back; anew; again; against), from the primitive Indo-European wret-, a metathetic alteration of wert- (to turn).  Agent is from the Latin agēns, present active participle of agere (to drive, lead, conduct, manage, perform, do) from the Proto-Italic agō, from primitive Indo-European hzéǵeti.  It was cognate with the Old Irish aigid, the Ancient Greek ἄγω (ágō) (I lead), the Old Norse aka (move, drive), the Avestan azaiti and the Sanskrit अजति (ájati) (to drive, propel, cast).  The difference between a catalyst and a reagent is that catalysts are not consumed during the chemical reaction, whereas reagents may be.  A catalyst is a substance which can increase the reaction rate of a particular chemical reaction, while a reagent is a substance used in chemical analysis or to induce another chemical reaction.

Novichok

A Novichok (Russian: новичо́к (novičók) (newcomer)) agent is one of a number of chemical weapons developed by the state chemical research institute (GosNIIOKhT) in the Soviet Union (USSR) and Russia between 1971-1993.  Said to be the deadliest nerve agent ever created, Novichok was designed in a way that evaded the restrictions on chemical weapons imposed by treaties to which the USSR was a signatory.  Novichok agents have become well-known because they’ve been used to poison several opponents of the Russian government, most notably Sergei Skripal (b 1951; a former officer in the Russian military agent of UK intelligence) and his daughter, Yulia Skripal (b 1985) who were poisoned in the city of Salisbury, UK.  The Kremlin denied complicity and accused the UK government of whipping-up anti-Russian hysteria.

The design requirements for Novichok included it being undetectable using standard equipment, being able to penetrate personal protective equipment, being easier to handle in its transportable form and able to circumvent the various chemical weapons treaties the USSR had signed.  The use of reagents made many of these objectives possible.  As a binary weapon, in which precursors are mixed to produce the nerve agent immediately prior use, handling is easier because, in un-mixed form, the reagents are less hazardous and thus simpler to store and transport.  The reagents are also chemically less unstable and have a long shelf life although western analysts note at least one liquid form of Novichok is sufficiently stable to be able to remain deadly for decades if stored in a controlled environment.

In July 2018, a UK distillery was forced to apologize after releasing a 75% abv vodka named Novichok, days after a woman and her partner were poisoned with the same nerve agent that almost killed Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury earlier in the year.  Bristol Dry Gin’s limited edition Novichok vodka quickly sold out and the company has made clear there are no plans for a second batch.  Amesbury woman Dawn Sturgess (b 1974), who lived some eight miles (13 km) north of Salisbury, fell ill on 30 June 2018, dying within days after being exposed to what experts said must have been a sizable dose of the Novichok substance.  Her partner, Charlie Rowley (b 1973), was for some time critically ill but recovered.

Just before Ms Sturgess’ death, Bristol Dry Gin posted to its Facebook page an image of its new “limited edition” Novichok vodka, along with a promotional blurb: "Our new limited edition vodka is out! Set at 75%, this smooth drinking spirit is no laughing matter."  "Available as a 35cl bottle, perfect for manbags and gym bottles, or as a pack of three 5cl minis, a great solution to body cavity searches. Get em from our web store or distillery.”  Not so much the product as the timing of the release attracted criticism, many finding it in “poor taste” and the distillery in its statement of apology agreed, admitting the timing “may have lacked sensitivity” and was named and launched only after the Skripals had recovered.  “It was intended to lighten the mood and ease tensions, not to cause offence, and reaction has been overwhelmingly positive. We sincerely apologize if any offence was caused, especially to the families of Dawn Sturgess and Charlie Rowley, and understand the timing of the release of this product may have lacked sensitivity.  The Novichok Edition is a limited edition, which sold out within a hours of being released, and we have no plans to produce any more.”

Capitalism in Russia proved a little more robust, a Russian entrepreneur capitalizing on the poisoning in the UK of Sergei & Yulia Skripala by releasing the новичо́к (novičók or Novichok) brand of cooking oil.  Ulyanovsk-based farmer Alexei Yakushev explained he was inspired to choose the name for his new brand of sunflower oil after watching a news report of the events in Salisbury.  “I regularly watch the news” Mr Yakushev informed an interviewer and as the product wasn’t available in store, he decided to produce and bring it to market himself.

Said to be the ideal oil for sukhariki (oven-toasted stale bread strips), the Novichok oil was marketed under the slogan “products for a long life” and, in a nice touch, the label included the famous insignia of the KGB.  On Mr Yakushev’s webpage, to counter Western propaganda, he included in the “About us” section the line “We don’t hide money offshore,” in rhyme.

Beetle

Beetle (pronounced beet-l)

(1) Any of numerous insects of the order Coleoptera, having biting mouthparts and characterized by hard, horny forewings modified to form shell-like protective elytra forewings that cover and protect the membranous flight wings.

(2) Used loosely, any of various insects resembling true beetles.

(3) A game of chance in which players attempt to complete a drawing of a beetle, different dice rolls allowing them to add the various body parts.

(4) A heavy hammering or ramming instrument, usually of wood, used to drive wedges, force down paving stones, compress loose earth etc.

(5) A machine in which fabrics are subjected to a hammering process while passing over rollers, as in cotton mills; used to finish cloth and other fabrics, they’re known also as a “beetling machine”

(6) To use a beetle on; to drive, ram, beat or crush with a beetle; to finish cloth or other fabrics with a beetling machine.

(7) In slang, quickly to move; to scurry (mostly UK), used also in the form “beetle off”.

(8) Something projecting, jutting out or overhanging (used to describe geological formation and, in human physiology, often in the form beetle browed).

(9) By extension, literally or figuratively, to hang or tower over someone in a threatening or menacing manner.

(10) In slang, the original Volkswagen and the later retro-model, based on the resemblance (in silhouette) of the car to the insect; used with and without an initial capital; the alternative slang “bug” was also analogous with descriptions of the insects.

Pre 900: From the late Middle English bittil, bitil, betylle & bityl, from the Old English  bitula, bitela, bītel & bīetel (beetle (and apparently originally meaning “little biter; biting insect”)), from bēatan (to beat) (and related to bitela, bitel & betl, from bītan (to bite) & bitol (teeth)), from the Proto-West Germanic bitilō & bītil, from the Proto-Germanic bitilô & bītilaz (that which tends to bite, biter, beetle), the construct being bite +‎ -le.  Bite was from the Middle English biten, from the Old English bītan (bite), from the Proto-West Germanic bītan, from the Proto-Germanic bītaną (bite), from the primitive Indo-European bheyd- (split) and the -le suffix was from the Middle English -elen, -len & -lien, from the Old English -lian (the frequentative verbal suffix), from the Proto-Germanic -lōną (the frequentative verbal suffix) and was cognate with the West Frisian -elje, the Dutch -elen, the German -eln, the Danish -le, the Swedish -la and the Icelandic -la.  It was used as a frequentative suffix of verbs, indicating repetition or continuousness.  The forms in Old English were cognate with the Old High German bicco (beetle), the Danish bille (beetle), the Icelandic bitil & bitul (a bite, bit) and the Faroese bitil (small piece, bittock).

In architecture, what was historically was the "beetle brow" window is now usually called "the eyebrow".  A classic example of a beetle-brow was that of Rudolf Hess (1894–1987; Nazi deputy führer 1933-1941).  

Beetle in the sense of the tool used to work wood, stonework, fabric etc also dates from before 900 and was from the Middle English betel & bitille (mallet, hammer), from the Old English bītel, bētel & bȳtel which was cognate with the Middle Low German bētel (chisel), from bēatan & bētan (beat) and related to the Old Norse beytill (penis).  The adjectival sense applied originally to human physiology (as beetle-browed) and later extended to geological formations (as a back-formation of beetle-browed) and architecture where it survives as the “eyebrow” window constructions mounted in sloping roofs.  The mid-fourteenth century Middle English bitelbrouwed (grim-browed, sullen (literally “beetle-browed”)) is thought to have been an allusion to the many beetles with bushy antennae, the construct being the early thirteenth century bitel (in the sense of "sharp-edged, sharp" which was probably a compound from the Old English bitol (biting, sharp) + brow, which in Middle English meant "eyebrow" rather than "forehead."  Although the history of use in distant oral traditions is of course murky, it may be from there that the Shakespearean back-formation (from Hamlet (1602)) in the sense of "project, overhang" was coined, perhaps from bitelbrouwed.  As applied to geological formations, the meaning “dangerously to overhang cliffs etc” dates from circa 1600.   The alternative spellings bittle, betel & bittil are all long obsolete.  Beetle is a noun & verb & adjective, beetled is a verb, beetling is a verb & adjective and beetler is a noun; the noun plural is beetles.

Gazing back.

Even before he went mad (something of a calling among German philosophers) Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) would warn the impressionable: “And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”  In some European towns, gaze for long at the houses and Rudolf Hess also gazes at you.  Attending the first Nuremberg Trial (1945-1946) as a journalist, the author Rebecca West (1892–1983) perceived an abyss in Hess, writing he was “…so plainly mad… He looked as if his mind had no surface, as if every part of it had been blasted away except the depth where the nightmares lived.”  Imprisoned for life (Count 1: Conspiracy & Count 2: Crimes against peace) by the IMT (International Military Tribunal), Hess would spend some 46 years in captivity and when in 1987 he took his own life, he was the last survivor of the 21 who has stood in the dock to receive their sentences.  Opinion remains divided over whether Hess was “mad” in either the clinical or legal sense but his conduct during the trial and what is known of his decades in Berlin’s Spandau prison (the last 20-odd years as the vast facility’s sole inmate) does suggest he was at least highly eccentric.

The Beetle (Volkswagen Type 1)

First built before World War II (1939-1945), the Volkswagen (the construct being volks (people) + wagen (car)) car didn’t pick up the nickname “beetle” until 1946, the allied occupation forces translating it from the German Käfer and it caught on, lasting until the last one left a factory in Mexico in 2003 although in different places it gained other monikers, the Americans during the 1950s liking “bug” and the French coccinelle (ladybug) and as sales gathered strength around the planet, there were literally dozens of local variations, the more visually memorable including: including: bintus (Tortoise) in Nigeria, pulga (flea) in Colombia, ඉබ්බා (tortoise) in Sri Lanka, sapito (little toad) in Perú, peta (turtle) in Bolivia, folcika (bug) in Bosnia and Herzegovina, kostenurka (turtle) in Bulgaria, baratinha (little cockroach) in Cape Verde, poncho in Chile and Venezuela. buba (bug) in Croatia, boblen (the bubble), asfaltboblen (the asphalt bubble), gravid rulleskøjte (pregnant rollerskate) & Hitlerslæden (Hitler-sled) in Denmark. cepillo (brush) in the Dominican Republic, fakrouna (tortoise) in Libya, kupla (bubble) & Aatun kosto (Adi's revenge) in Finland, cucaracha (cockroach) in Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras, Kodok (frog) in Indonesia, ghoorbaghei (قورباغه ای) (frog) in Iran, agroga عكروكة (little frog) & rag-gah ركـّة (little turtle) in Iraq, maggiolino (maybug) in Italy, kodok (frog) in Malaysia, pulguita (little flea) in Mexico and much of Latin America, boble (bubble) in Norway, kotseng kuba (hunchback car) & boks (tin can) in the Philippines, garbus (hunchback) in Poland, mwendo wa kobe (tortoise speed) in Swahili and banju maqlub (literally “upside down bathtub”) in Malta.

A ground beetle (left), a first generation der Käfer (the Beetle, 1939-2003) (centre) and an "New Beetle" (1997-2011).  Despite the appearance, the "New Beetle" was of front engine & front-wheel-drive configuration, essentially a re-bodied Volkswagen Golf.  The new car was sold purely as a retro, the price paid for the style, certain packaging inefficiencies. 

A handy (and potentially life-saving) accessory for wartime KdF-Wagens was a passenger-side mount for a MP 40/41 Maschinenpistole (submachine gun), usually dubbed the Schmeisser by Allied troops on the basis German weapons designer Hugo Schmeisser (1884–1953) was responsible for the earlier and visually similar MP 18 (the world’s first mass-produced submachine gun).  Although he was not involved in the development of the MP 40, that weapon did use a magazine produced in accordance with one of his patents.

The Beetle (technically, originally the KdF-Wagen and later the Volkswagen Type 1) was one of the products nominally associated with the Nazi regime’s Gemeinschaft Kraft durch Freude (KdF, “Strength Through Joy”), the state-controlled organization which was under the auspices of the Deutsche Arbeitsfront (German Labor Front) which replaced the independent labor unions.  Operating medical services, cruise liners and holiday resorts for the working class, the KdF envisaged the Volkswagen as a European Model T Ford in that it would be available in sufficient numbers and at a price affordable by the working man, something made easier still by the Sparkarte (savings booklet) plan under which a deposit would be paid with the balance to be met in instalments.  Once fully paid, a Volkswagen would be delivered.  All this was announced in 1939 but the war meant that not one Volkswagen was ever delivered to any of those who diligently continued to make their payments as late as 1943.  Whether, even without a war, the scheme could have continued with the price set at a politically sensitive 990 Reichsmarks is uncertain.  That was certainly below the cost of production and although the Ford Model T had demonstrated how radically production costs could be lowered once the efficiencies of mass-production reached critical mass, there were features unique to the US economy which may never have manifested in the Nazi system, even under sustained peace although, had the Nazis won the war, from the Atlantic to the Urals they'd have had a vast pool of slave labor, a obvious way to reduce unit labor costs.  As it was, it wasn’t until 1964 that some of the participants in the Sparkarte were granted a settlement under which they received a discount (between 9-14%) which could be credited against a new Beetle.  Inflation and the conversion in 1948 from Reichsmark to Deutschmark make it difficult accurately to assess the justice of that but the consensus was Volkswagen got a good deal.  The settlement was also limited, nobody resident in the GDR (The German Democratic Republic, the old East Germany (1949-1990)) or elsewhere behind the iron curtain received even a Reichspfennig (cent).

Small, life-size & larger than life: A scale model (left), a 1955 Volkswagen Beetle (centre) and the “Huge Bug”, on the road with the 1959 Cabriolet used as a template.

Produced or assembled around the world between 1938-2003, over 21.5 million Beetles were made and there were also untold millions of scale models, ranging from small, colorful molded plastic toys distributed in cereal boxes (an early form of “indirect marketing” to children) through the ubiquitous “Matchbox Toys” to some highly detailed and expensive renditions, some powered by electric motors.  However, as far as in known, there's been only one “up-scaled” Beetle and so impressive was it in execution, until seen with objects (ideally a standard Beetle) to give some sense of the size, it’s not immediately obvious the thing is some 40% bigger.  While it may be tempting to call this a “Super Beetle” that would only confuse because the factory applied that label to a version introduced in 1970 and customers nick-named those “Super Bug” so that’s taken too; maybe “Big Bug” is best although the builders liked “Huge Bug”.

The Huge Bug was created by a Californian father and son team who disassembled a 1959 Beetle Cabriolet so the relevant components could be scanned and digitized, enabling versions 40% larger to be fabricated.  Built on the chassis of a Dodge Magnum, mechanical components were carried over so the Huge Bug features a specification which would have astonished Germans (or anyone else) in 1957, including a 345 cubic inch (5.7 litre) Hemi V8, automatic transmission, power steering, heated seats, air conditioning & power windows.  Not unexpectedly, whenever parked, the Huge Bug attracts those wanting a unique backdrop for selfies.  If the Huge Bug seems too conventional (if large) an approach, others have allowed their imagination to wander in other directions.

Herbie, the love bug

Lindsay Lohan (left) among the Beetles (centre) on the red carpet for the Los Angeles premiere of Herbie Fully Loaded (2005), El Capitan Theater, Hollywood, Los Angeles, 19 June 19, 2005.  The Beetle (right) was one of the many replica “Herbies” in attendance and, on the day, Ms Lohan (using the celebrity-endorsed black Sharpie) autographed the glove-box lid, removed for the purpose.

In a Beetle it’s a simple task quickly to remove and re-fit a lid but unfortunately it was upside down when signed.  Autographs on glove-box lids (and other parts) are a thing and the most famous (and numerous) are those of Carroll Shelby (1923–2012) on Shelby American AC Cobras and Mustangs.  Many are authentic because for a donation to the Shelby foundation (typically around US$250) an owner could send to Shelby American headquarters in California a lid with a SSAE (stamped, self-addressed envelope) and it would come back duly signed and with a letter of authenticity (though one owner noted dryly the felt pen (silver ink) he’d enclosed wasn’t returned.  There are many slight variations in the signatures which hints they were done by hand and not an auto-pen although those that differ most are the ones signed while the lid was fixed to the car; for most it’s an unnatural action to sign on other than a flat, horizontal surface.  There are also some of questionable provenance, not all of which are one Cobra replicas built long after Carroll Shelby’s death and “Carroll Shelby glove-box signature vinyl transfer tapes” are available on-line in black, white and silver for as little as US$6.00.  Beware of imitations one might say but given there are over 50,000 “imitation” Cobras against a thousand-odd originals, the fake signature industry is sort of in the same spirit.

One of the cars used in the track racing sequences, now on display in the Peterson Automotive Museum on Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles, California (left), a Disney Pictures promotional image (centre) and a Herbie “replica” (with glove-box lid signed by Lindsay Lohan) built on a modified 1964 Beetle (right).

Before the release in 2005 of Herbie: Fully Loaded, following the first "Herbie" film (The Love Bug (1968)), there had been three sequels and a television series so the ecosystem of Herbie replicas (clones, tributes etc) was well-populated and as a promotional gimmick Disney Pictures invited fans to bring their replicas to line the red carpet at the Los Angeles premiere.  Producing a “true” Herbie replica is technically possible but not all will be the same because even within each film there were variations in the appearance because a number of Beetles were required for the filming with not all identical in every visual aspect.  In post-production, there is a “continuity editor” who is tasked with removing or disguising such inconsistencies but minor details, especially if not in any way significant, often slip through something which delights the film obsessives who curate sites documenting the “errors”.  Among Beetle (especially the pre 1968 models) collectors there’s a faction of originality police (as uncompromising as any found in the communities patrolling vintage Ferraris, Corvettes, Jaguars, Porsches and such) and when the Herbie “replica” (above right) was offered for sale (as a “Herbie-Style 1964 Volkswagen Beetle Sunroof Sedan”) they were there to pounce, noting:

(1) The last year for the Golde folding sunroof was 1963, 1964 Sunroof Sedans fitted with a steel, sliding-roof.  The consensus was either the roof from an earlier Sunroof Sedan was spliced on or a hole was cut for salvaged Golde assembly to be installed.  Neither would be technically difficult for someone with the parts and skill but an inspection would be required to know which and on the basis of the photographs the work had been done well.

(2) The hood (“bonnet” over the frunk) was from an earlier model (with a pre-1963 Wolfsburg crest).

(3) The licence plate light was from 1963 (the updated engine and conversion to 12-volt electrics (both common in early Beetles) were disclosed in the sales blurb).

(4) The radio antenna was on the driver’s side whereas in the film it appears on the passenger’s side and there were many detail differences (decals and such) but there were inconsistencies also in the film.

Professor Porsche

There were many Volkswagens produced during the war but all were delivered either to the military or the Nazi Party organization where they were part of the widespread corruption endemic to the Third Reich, the extent of which wasn’t understood until well after the demise of the regime.  The wartime models were starkly utilitarian and this continued between 1945-1947 when production resumed to supply the needs of the Allied occupying forces, the bulk of the output being taken up by the British Army, the Wolfsburg factory being in the British zone.  As was the practice immediately after the war, the plan had been to ship the tooling to the UK and begin production there but the UK manufacturers, after inspecting the vehicle, pronounced it wholly unsuitable for civilian purposes and too primitive to appeal to customers.  Accordingly, the factory remained in Germany and civilian deliveries began in 1947, initially only in the home market but within a few years, export sales were growing and by the mid-1950s, the Beetle was a success even in the US market, something which must have seem improbable in 1949 when two were sold.  The platform proved adaptable too, the original two-door saloon and cabriolet augmented by a van on a modified chassis which was eventually built in a bewildering array of body styles (and made famous as the Kombi and Microbus (Type 2) models which became cult machines of the 1960s counter-culture) and the stylish, low-slung Karmann-Ghia (the classic Type 14 and the later Type 34 & Type 145 (Brazil), sold as a 2+2 coupé and convertible.  Later there would be attempts to use more modern body styling while preserving the mechanical layout (the Type 3, 1961-1973 and Type 4 (411/412), 1968-1974) but the approach was by the early 1970s understood to be a dead end although the concept was until 1982 pursued by Volkswagen's Brazilian operation. 

Herr Professor Ferdinand Porsche (1875–1951) explaining the Beetle to Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) during the ceremony marking the laying of the foundation stone at the site of the Volkswagen factory, Fallersleben, Wolfsburg in Germany's Lower Saxony region, 26 May 1938 (which Christians mark as the Solemnity of the Ascension of Jesus Christ, commemorating the bodily Ascension of Christ to Heaven) (left).  The visit would have been a pleasant diversion for Hitler who was at the time immersed in the planning for the Nazi's takeover of Czechoslovakia and later the same day, during a secret meeting, the professor would display a scale-model of an upcoming high-performance version (right). 

The Beetle also begat what are regarded as the classic Porsches (the 356 (1948-1965), the 911 (1964-1998) and 912 (1965-1969 & 1976)).  Although documents filed in court over the years would prove Ferdinand Porsche’s (1875-1951) involvement in the design of the Beetle revealed not quite the originality of thought that long was the stuff of legend (as a subsequent financial settlement acknowledged), he was attached to the concept and for reasons of economic necessity alone, the salient features of the Beetle (the separate platform, the air-cooled flat engine, rear wheel drive and the basic shape) were transferred to the early post-war Porsches and while for many reasons features like liquid cooling later had to be adopted, the basic concept of the 1938 KdF-Wagen is still identifiable in today’s 911s.

The Beetle had many virtues as might be surmised given it was in more-or-less continuous production for sixty-five years during which over 20 million were made.  However, one common complaint was the lack of power, something which became more apparent as the years went by and average highway speeds rose.  The factory gradually increased both displacement & power and an after-market industry arose to supply those who wanted more, the results ranging from mild to wild.  One of the most dramatic approaches was that taken in 1969 by Emerson Fittipaldi (b 1946) who would later twice win both the Formula One World Championship and the Indianapolis 500.

The Fittipaldi 3200

Team Fittipaldi in late 1969 entered the Rio 1000 km race at the Jacarepagua circuit, intending to run a prototype with an Alfa Romeo engine but after suffering delays in the fabrication of some parts, it was clear there would be insufficient time to prepare the car.  No other competitive machine was immediately available so the decision was taken to improvise and build a twin-engined Volkswagen Beetle, both car and engines in ample supply, local production having begun in 1953.  On paper, the leading opposition (Alfa Romeo T33s, a Ford GT40 and a Lola T70 was formidable but the Beetle, with two tuned 1600 cm³ (98 cubic inch) engines, would generate some 400 horsepower in a car weighing a mere 407kg (897 lb) car.  Expectations weren't high and other teams were dismissive of the threat yet in qualifying, the Beetle set the second fastest time and in the race proved competitive, running for some time second to the leading Alfa Romeo T33 until a broken gearbox forced retirement.

Fittipaldi 3200, Interlagos, 1969.  The car competed on Pirelli CN87 Cinturatos (which were for street rather than race-track use) tyres which was an interesting choice but gearbox failures meant it never raced long enough for their durability to be determined.

The idea of twin-engined cars was nothing new, Enzo Ferrari (1898-1988) in 1935 having entered the Alfa Romeo Bimotor in the Grand Prix held on the faster circuits.  At the time a quick solution to counter the revolutionary new Mercedes-Benz and Auto-Union race cars, the Bimotor had one supercharged straight-eight mounted at each end, both providing power to the rear wheels.  It was certainly fast, timed at 335 km/h (208 mph) in trials and on the circuits it could match anything in straight-line speed but its Achilles heel was that which has beset most twin-engined racing cars, high fuel consumption & tyre wear and a tendency to break drive-train components.  There were some successful adoptions when less powerful engines were used and the goal was traction rather than outright speed (such as the Citroën 2CV Sahara (694 of which were built between 1958-1971)) but usually there were easier ways to achieve the same thing.  Accordingly, while the multi-engine idea proved effective (indeed sometimes essential) when nothing but straight line speed was demanded (such as land-speed record (LSR) attempts or drag-racing), in events when corners needed to be negotiated, it proved a cul-de-sac.  There was certainly potential as the handful of "Twinis" (twin-engined versions of the BMC (British Motor Corporation) Mini (1959-2000) built in the 1960s demonstrated.  The original Twini had been built by constructor John Cooper (1923–2000 and associated with the Mini Cooper) after he'd observed a twin-engined Mini-Moke (a utilitarian vehicle based on the Mini's platform) being tested for the military.  Cooper's Twini worked and was rapid but after being wrecked in an accident (not directly related to the novel configuration), the project was abandoned.   

Still, in 1969, Team Fittipaldi had nothing faster available and while on paper, the bastard Beetle seemed unsuited to the task as the Jacarepagua circuit then was much twistier than it would become, it would certainly have a more than competitive  power to weight ratio, the low mass likely to make tyre wear less of a problem.  According to Brazilian legend, in the spirit of the Q&D (quick & dirty) spirit of the machines hurried assembly, after some quick calculations on a slide-rule, the design process moved rapidly from the backs of envelopes to paper napkins at the Churrascaria Interlagos Brazilian Barbecue House where steaks and red wine were ordered.  Returning to the workshop, most of the chassis was fabricated against chalk-marks on garage floor while the intricate linkages required to ensure the fuel-flow to the four Weber DC045 carburetors were constructed using cigarette packets as templates to maintain the correct distance between components.  In the race, the linkages performed faultlessly.

Fittipaldi 3200: The re-configuration of the chassis essentially transformed the rear-engined Beetle into a mid-engined car, the engines between the driver and the rear-axle line, behind which sat the transaxle.  

The chassis used a standard VW platform, cut just behind the driver’s seat where a tubular sub-frame was attached.  The front suspension and steering was retained although larger Porsche drum brakes were used in deference to the higher speeds which would be attained.  Remarkably, Beetle type swing axles were used at the rear which sounds frightening but these had the advantage of providing much negative camber and on the smooth and predictable surface of a race-track, especially in the hands of a race-driver, their behavior would not be as disconcerting as their reputation might suggest.  Two standard 1600cm³ Beetle engines (thus the 3200 designation) were fitted for the shake down tests and once the proof-of-concept had been verified, they were sent for tuning, high-performance Porsche parts used and the displacement of each increased to 2200cm³ (134 cubic inch).  The engines proved powerful but too much for the bottom end, actually breaking a crankshaft (a reasonable achievement) so the stroke was shortened, yielding a final displacement only slightly greater than the original specification while maintaining the ability to sustain higher engine speeds.

Fittipaldi 3200 (1969) schematic (left) and Porsche 908/01 LH Coupé (1968–1969) (right): The 3200's concept of a mid-engined, air-cooled, flat-eight coupe was essentially the same as the Porsche 908 but the Fittipaldi 3200's added features included drum brakes, swing axles and a driver's seat which doubled as the fuel tank.  There might have been some drivers of the early (and lethal) Porsche 917s who would have declined an offer to race the 3200, thinking it "too dangerous".

The rear engine was attached in a conventional arrangement through a Porsche five-speed transaxle although first gear was blanked-off (shades of the British trick of the 1950s which discarded the "stump-puller" first gear to create a "close ratio" three-speed box) because of a noted proclivity for stripping the cogs while the front engine was connected to the rear by a rubber joint with the crank phased at 90^o to the rear so the power sequenced correctly.  Twin oil coolers were mounted in the front bumper while the air-cooling was also enhanced, the windscreen angled more acutely to create at the top an aperture through which air could be ducted via flexible channels in the roof.   Most interesting however was the fuel tank.  To satisfy the thirst of the two engines, the 3200 carried 100 litres (26.4 (US) / 22 (Imperial) gallons) of a volatile ethanol cocktail in an aluminum tank which was custom built to fit car: It formed the driver’s seat!

Incongruity: The Beetle and the prototypes, Interlagos, 1969 

In the Rio de Janeiro 1000 kilometre race on the Guanabara circuit, the 3200, qualified 2^nd and ran strongly in the race, running as high as second, the sight of a Beetle holding off illustrious machinery such as a Porsche special, a Lola-Chevrolet R70, and a Ford GT40, one of motorsport’s less expected sights.  Unfortunately, in the twin-engined tradition, it proved fast but fragile, retiring with gearbox failure before half an hour had elapsed.  It raced once more but proved no more reliable.

How to have fun with a Beetle.

Caffeine addiction is one of humanity’s most widespread vices and it extends to those driving cars.  In famous tort case, Stella Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants, P.T.S., Inc. and McDonald's International, Inc (1994 Extra LEXIS 23 (Bernalillo County, N.M. Dist. Ct. 1994), 1995 WL 360309 (Bernalillo County, N.M. Dist. Ct. 1994), a passenger in a car (a 1989 model with no cup holders) received severe burns from spilled coffee, just purchased from a McDonald’s drive-through.  Although the matter received much publicity on the basis it was absurd to be able to sue for being burned by spilling what was known by all to be “hot” and the case came to be cited as an example of “frivolous” litigation, there were technical reasons why some liability should have been ascribed to McDonalds.  The jury awarded some US$2.6 million in damages although this was, on appeal, reduced to US640,000 and the matter was settled out of court before a further appeal.

How to have coffee in a Beetle

Hertella Auto Kaffeemachine, 1959.  What could go wrong?

In the twenty-first century, some now judge cars on the basis of the count, capacity & convenience of its cup-holders but in the less regulated environment of the FRG (Federal Republic of Germany, the old West Germany, 1949-1990) of 1959, one company anticipated the future trend by offering a dashboard-mounted coffee maker for the Volkswagen Beetle.  The Hertella Auto Kaffeemachine was not a success, presumably because even those not familiar with Sir Isaac Newton's (1642–1727) First Law of Motion (known also as the Law of Inertia: “An object at rest will remain at rest, and an object in motion will continue in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced external force”) could visualise the odd WCS (worst case scenario).

A happy caffeine addict, pouring himself a cup of coffee in his VW Beetle.

That it was in 1959 available in 6v & 12v versions is an indication Hertella may have envisaged a wider market because VW didn’t offer a 12v system as an option until 1963 and the company seems to have given some thought to Newtonian physics, the supplied porcelain cups fitted at the base with a disc of magnetic metal which provided some resistance to movement although the liquid obviously moved as the forces were applied.  The apparatus was mounted with a detachable bracket, permitting the pot to be removed for cleaning.  The quality of the coffee was probably not outstanding because there’s no percolation; the coffee added in a double-layer screen and “brewed” on much the same basis as one would tea-leaves and for those who value quality, a thermos-flask would have been a better choice but there would have been caffeine addicts willing to try the device.  The trouble was there clearly weren’t many of them and even in the FRG of the Wirtschaftswunder (the post war “economic miracle”) the fairly high price would have deterred many although now, one in perfect condition (especially if accompanied by the precious documents or packaging) would command a price well over US$1000.

How to advertise a Beetle

Although the popular perception of motoring in the US during the 1960s is it was all about gas-guzzling behemoths and tyre-smoking muscle cars no less thirsty, Detroit’s advertising did not neglect to mention fuel economy and the engineers always had in the range a combination of power-train and gearing options for those for whom that was important; it was a significant if unsexy market.  However, the advertising for domestic vehicles, whatever the segment, almost always emphasised virtues like attractiveness and, in the era of annual product updates, made much of things being “new”.  Volkswagen took a different approach, centred around the “Think Small” campaign, created by the advertising agency Doyle Dane Bernbach (DDB).  Positioning VW Beetle ownership as a kind of inverted snobbery, the campaign embraced simplicity and honesty, quite a contrast with the exaggerations common at the time.  The technique was ground-breaking and its influences have been seen in the decades since.

The key theme was one of self-deprecating humor which took the criticisms of the car (quirky, small, ugly, lacking luxuries) and made a headline of them, emphasising instead attributes such as reliability, fuel efficiency, and affordability, all done with some wry observations.  Whether making a virtue of the by then dubious qualities of swing axles (centre right) convinced many is uncertain but the "Why are the wheels crooked" one dates from 1962, some three years before the publication of Ralph Nadar's (b 1934) Unsafe at Any Speed (1965) in which a chapter was devoted to the troubling behavior swing axles induced in the Chevrolet Corvair (1960-1969).  Still, the focus on authenticity had real appeal in a consumerist age when agencies produced elaborate graphics and full-color photographs taken in exotic locations: VW’s monochromatic look was emblematic of the machine being advertised, one which in 1969 still looked almost identical to one from 1959.  A key to the success of the campaign was the template: most of the upper part of the page usually a single image of a Beetle, a caption beneath and then the explanatory text.

Spoof in National Lampoon's Encyclopedia of Humor (1973).

The US magazine National Lampoon (1970-1998) ran a parody in the style of VW’s campaign in their Encyclopedia of Humor (1973).  The "If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he'd be President today" piece not only borrowed the template but also reprised VW’s claim of “watertight construction” which had appeared in one of the manufacturer’s genuine advertisements.  Although what the magazine did was protected under the constitution’s first amendment (freedom of speech; freedom of the press) other legal remedies beckoned and Volkswagen filed suit claiming (1) violations of copyright and their trademark and (2) defamation.  Apparently, a number of those who had seen the spoof believed it to be real and the company was receiving feedback from the outraged vowing never to buy another VW, a reaction familiar at scale in the age of X (formerly known as Twitter) but which then required writing a letter, putting it in an envelope, affixing a postage stamp and dropping it in the mailbox.  So pile-ons happened then but they took longer to form.  In a settlement, National Lampoon undertook to (1) withdraw all unsold copies of the 450,000 print run (2) destroy the piece’s hot plate (in pre-digital printing, a physical “plate” was created onto which ink was laid to create the printed copy) and (3) publish in the next issue Volkswagen's explanatory disclaimer of involvement.  National Lampoon was also estopped from using the spoof for any subsequent purpose.

The 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88 which Ted Kennedy crashed into the water under Dike Bridge Chappaquiddick Island, Massachusetts.

The Oldsmobile belonged to Kennedy's mother, despite old Joe Kennedy (1888–1969) once having asserted "The Kennedys drive Buicks!".  By the time Mary Jo Kopechne died, the company had already retired the Delmont nameplate after a two-year run.

The notorious incident the parody referenced was the “Chappaquiddick Incident” in which Ted Kennedy (1932–2009) drove off a bridge, shortly before midnight on 18 July 1969, after the then senator had left a cocktail party in the company of Miss Mary Jo Kopechne (1940-1969) who had worked on Robert F Kennedy’s (RFK, 1925–1968; US attorney general 1961-1964) presidential campaign in 1968.  Miss Kopechne died in the crash, Senator Kennedy not reporting the matter for more than ten hours after he left the scene.  Kennedy received a two month, suspended sentence for leaving the scene of an accident but while his political career continued for decades, he never succeeded in his attempts to become president and his conduct in the Chappaquiddick Incident contributed to that although as one notorious interview in 1979 revealed, apart from his sense of entitlement, he could disclose no good reason why he should be POTUS.

Volkswagen's genuine "watertight construction" advertisment which inspired National Lampoon.  It was one of the few in the series to be run in color and that was because water really didn't look like "water" in monochrome.

Years after the Chappaquiddick Incident, when Ted was only of the brothers left alive, in an interview, Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) compared the three , pronouncing Ted the best and most natural politician while Robert was driven and intense, “like a seventeenth century Jesuit priest”, a phrase he attributed to Theodore Roosevelt’s (TR, 1858–1919; US president 1901-1909) daughter Alice Lee Roosevelt Longworth (1884–1980).  John Kennedy (JFK, 1917–1963; US president 1961-1963) he thought “quite a shy person” for whom the public aspect of politics was “an effort”, albeit one he performed very well.  Nixon was a flawed character but in his (enforced) retirement, he was a fair judge of the politicians he knew.