Hypocrite & Pharisee

Hypocrite (pronounced hip-uh-krit)

(1) A person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles etc., that they do not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

(2) A person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

1175–1225: from the Middle English ypocrite & ipocrite (false pretender to virtue or religion), from the Old French ypocrite (the Modern is French hypocrite), from the Ecclesiastical Latin hypocrita, from the Ancient Greek ὑποκριτής (hupokritḗs) (a stage actor, one who plays a part), from ὑποκρίνομαι (hupokrínomai) (I answer, act, feign, the construct being from hupo(krinein) (to feign (from krinein (to judge) + -tēs (the agent suffix).  Hypocrite is a noun (and long ago an adjective), hypocritical an adjective and hypocritically an adverb

Hypocrite came to English from the Ancient Greek hypokrites, which translates as “an actor”, the word a compound noun, the construct being two Greek words that literally translate as “an interpreter from underneath.”  That sense may sound strange but is actually literal, the actors in ancient Greek theater wearing large masks to indicate the part being played, thus they interpreted the story from underneath their masks.  This meaning endured from Antiquity, the Greek word later taking on an extended meaning to refer to someone said figuratively to be masked and thus pretending to be someone or something they were not.  This sense was taken-up in medieval French and subsequently English, where initially it used the earlier spelling ypocrite and in thirteenth century was used to refer to someone who pretends to be morally good or pious in order to deceive others.  Hypocrite gained its initial h- by the sixteenth century and it wasn’t until the early 1700s that it assumed in general use the now familiar modern meaning “a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings”, some five-hundred years after those striding English stages were so-described.

The adjective hypocritical (of, pertaining to, or proceeding from hypocrisy) dates from the 1540s (as implied in hypocritically) and prevailed over hypocritish (1520s) & hypocritic (1530s).  It was adjectivally innovative because from the thirteenth century, Middle English used the simple hypocrite as the adjective as well as the noun.  In Scottish, the late fifteenth century Lowrie (the characteristic name of the fox) was also used in the dual sense of "crafty person; hypocrite”.  Hypocrite is so precise and well-understood that synonyms really aren’t required to convey any intent of meaning but for literary purposes there’s also bigot, charlatan, crook, impostor, phony, trickster, actor, backslider, bluffer, casuist, cheat, deceiver, decoy, dissembler, dissimulator, fake, four-flusher, fraud, humbug, informer, pretender & pharisee.  That such an impressively long list exists is a commentary on the human condition.  The noun dissembler is probably closest; a dissembler is “one who conceals his opinions, character etc, under a false appearance, one who pretends that a thing which is not".  Attested since the 1520s, it’s the agent noun from dissemble.

Pharisee (pronounced far-uh-see)

(1) A member of a Jewish sect that flourished between the second century BC and first century AD (during the Second Temple Era (536 BC-70 AD) which differed from the Sadducees principally in its strict observance of religious ceremonies and practices, adherence to oral laws and traditions (as interpreted rabbinically), belief in an afterlife and the coming of a Messiah (always with initial capital).  The movement was ultimately the basis for most contemporary forms of Judaism.

(2) Of or pertaining to the Pharisees.

(3) A sanctimonious, self-righteous, or hypocritical person (usually and correctly with initial lower-case).

(4) In figurative (and usually derogatory or offensive) use, a person who values the letter of the law over its spirit or intention; a person who values form over content.

Pre 900: From the Middle English Pharise & Farise, from the Old English Fariseos & Farīsēus, from the thirteenth century Old French pharise, from the Church Latin Pharisaeus (a variant of Pharīsaeus), from the Ancient Greek Φαρισαῖος (Pharisaîos), a transliteration of the Aramaic פְּרִישַׁיָּא‎ (pərîšayyâ’), emphatic plural of פְּרִישׁ‎ (pərîš) (separatist (literally “separated”)) and related to the Hebrew פרוש‎ (parush), qal passive participle of the verb פָּרַשׁ‎ (pāraš) (one who is separated for a life of purity), from parash (the Aramaic (Semitic) pərīshayyā was the plural of what is usually rendered as perīsh & pərīshā (literally “separated”)).  The extended meaning "any self-righteous person, formalist, hypocrite, scrupulous or ostentatious observer of the outward forms of religion without regard to its inward spirit" dates from the 1580s.  There’s no agreement between scholars about whether "Pharisee", derived words meaning “separated; set apart" refers to a physical separation from impure gentiles or a doctrinal separation from less religiously rigorous Jews and there’s even a suggestion they were regarded as "separatists" in the modern political sense.  The derived terms pharisaic, pharisaical, pharisaically, pharisaicalness, pharisaism & phariseeism (used according to context with and without an initial capital) are rarely used except in biblical scholarship or especially learned (and usually critical) legal texts.

The ancient Jewish sect which flourished between the second century BC and first century AD was distinguished the strict observance by its members of laws of behavior & ritual but were so extreme in their adherence that others came to regard them as pretentious and self-righteously sanctimonious and one of those others, recorded in the Gospel of Matthew was Jesus Christ himself:

Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples,

(23) Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

(24) Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.

(25) Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

(27) Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

(28) Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Matthew 23 (King James Version (KJV 1611))

The recently revealed text messages sent by Australia’s deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce (b 1967; thrice deputy prime-minister 2016-) included a character assessment of Prime Minister Scott Morrison (b 1968; Prime Minister of Australia 2018-) as “…a hypocrite and a liar from my observations and that is over a long time,” adding “I have never trusted him, and I dislike how earnestly [he] rearranges the truth to a lie.”  That was good but more amusing still was Mr Joyce’s “unreserved” apology to which he added the reservations that (1) it was a long time ago (10 months) and he was younger then, (2) he didn’t really know him at the time the message was sent (they’ve served together in cabinet for most of the last decade), (3) his opinion since he got to know him better has softened and he now thinks he’s a fine chap “of high integrity and honesty” and (4), he was in a bad mood when sending the message.

Given the ferocity of the critique, one might have thought Mr Morrison may have been consumed by hatred and vengeful thoughts but, perhaps feeling constrained by Luke 6:37…:

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. (King James Version (KJV 1611))

… issued a statement saying he’d forgiven Mr Joyce his trespasses, a gesture which either demonstrates some generosity of spirit or hints at his increasingly perilous political position.

Grace Tame looking at Scott Morrison, The Lodge, Canberra, annual pre-Invasion Day (aka Australia Day) festivities, 25 January 2021 and, arm in sling, after “a bike stack”.

Mr Joyce however may still nervously be looking over his shoulder.  A few days after Grace Tame (b 1994; activist for survivors of sexual assault & 2021 Australian of the Year), not best pleased with some aspects of Mr Morrison’s commitment to helping victims of sexual assault, spoiled one of his prized photo-opportunities by fixing him with a frosty stare rather than the expected asinine smile, she was involved in an accident, tumbling from her bike, breaking a collarbone and sustaining the odd graze.  There is no suggestion either Mr Morrison or the Liberal Party’s squad of dirty tricks operatives were involved in what Ms Tame described as a “bike stack” but Mr Joyce, noting no doubt that Mr Morrison said only “forgive” and not “forget”, may be impressed by the coincidence.  In fairness, the Liberal Party operatives would have had good reason to organize a hit on Ms Tame because in postings on X (formerly known as Twitter), she'd not been uncritical of the system she claims the party represents and maintains.  She commented the survival of abuse culture “is dependent on submissive smiles, self-defeating surrenders and hypocrisy” and “What I did wasn’t an act of martyrdom in the gender culture war...”, adding “It’s true that many women are sick of being told to smile, often by men, for the benefit of men. But it’s not just women who are conditioned to smile and conform to the visibly rotting status-quo. It’s all of us.”

Meet & greet: Anthony Albanese (b 1963; prime-minister of Australia since 2022) greeting Grace Tame, The Lodge (the prime-minister’s official Canberra residence), January 2025.

As photo opportunities go however, it could though have been worse for Mr Morrison.  In January 2025 Ms Tame appeared at the prime minister’s morning tea (held in conjunction with certain Australia Day (26 January, now AKA “Invasion Day” among the woke) wearing a “Fuck Murdoch” T-shirt, a sentiment about press baron Rupert Murdoch (b 1931) held by not a few though not often so vividly displayed.  Protocol demanded prime-minister Anthony Albanese welcome Ms Tame and dutifully he shook hands, perhaps reflecting on earlier times when the security detail would never have permitted someone wearing such a garment to enter the grounds, let alone get through the front door.  He seemed however, at least “amused” though whether this implied “approval” was up for grabs; presumably inferences will be drawn based on one’s world view.

As a conversation-starter however, Ms Tame’s T-shirt had the desired effect, journalists quickly arranging interviews to allow her to explain, just in case the subtlety meant the meaning eluded some.  It was “…clearly not just about Murdoch…” she informed the press pack, adding “It’s the obscene greed, inhumanity and disconnection that he symbolises, which are destroying our planet.  For far too long this world and its resources have been undemocratically controlled by a small number of morbidly wealthy oligarchs.  If we want to dismantle this corrupt system, if we want legitimate climate action, equity, truth, justice, democracy, peace, land back, etc, then resisting forces like Murdoch is a good starting point.”  Answering a question which was about politics rather than fashion, she confirmed she “never” had reservations about donning the T-shirt for the event because “Speaking truth to power starts at the grassroots level with simple, effective messages. It’s one of my favourite shirts.”  Not unexpectedly the T-shirt received about as much coverage in the Murdoch press as the mogul’s many divorces.

Reaching out while keeping one's distance: Grace Tame looking at another prime minister, Canberra, January 2025.

Whether the result of the machine men in Mr Albanese’s ALP (Australian Labor Party) weighing up the pros and cons of things or because he’d received a rap on the knuckles from one or more of Mr Murdoch’s many loyal employees and followers, within a couple of days it had been decided what Mr Albanese should think and accordingly his office issued a statement: “I clearly disagree.  I want debate to be respectful … and that’s a choice that she made. People are allowed to express themselves, but I thought it was disrespectful of the event and of the people who that event was primarily for.”  Ms Tame was unrepentant, saying “It’s a great shirt and says it all, doesn’t it?  If we want to dismantle the concentration of morbid wealth that undemocratically rules the world, and really makes the major political decisions that affect the everyday person; if we want climate action and if we want justice, if we want truth, I think it’s probably a good place to start.  If you want to get a few birds with one giant, ugly stone, this is it.”  Clearly, among the woke, one now “gets” rather than “kills” birds and for those so minded the T-shirt is available (Aus$55.00) in four colors (also as a crop top or sweatshirt) though the size range stops at XL (those needing 4XL & 5XL deemed too fat to care about the planet and probably pick-up owners who contribute disproportionately to climate change, such "deplorables" doubtlessly MAGA supporters who watch FoxNews).

Bike stacks are not rare: In 2014 Lindsay Lohan posted on Instagram: “A citibike gone wrong #notsoquiche !!!!”, documenting bruises and scrapes on her legs after a “bike stack” (on her 28^th birthday) involving a New York City “Citi Bike” (a now privately owned public bicycle sharing system).  The photograph was taken in Soho, the following day.

Even if a coincidence Ms Tame’s bike stack was not an unusual event.  Although an admirable means of transportation (a bicycle is one of the most efficient means of getting from A to B in urban environments), there is a death and injury toll associated with the machines.  In 2021, 38 cyclists were killed in road-related incidents in Australia, a slight increase from the previous year in which there were 35 fatalities and the riders typically account for some 3% of all road deaths nationally.  Quite how many are injured each year isn’t known because many minor injuries are treated only with first-aid and those dealt with by GP (general practitioners or family doctors) don’t appear in aggregate statistics but data from hospital admissions record over 12,000 cyclists who were in 2021 treated for non-fatal injuries related to cycling accidents.  The most common injuries included fractures, head injuries and soft-tissue damage while a significant proportion of fatalities involved collisions with motor vehicles, especially on urban roads.

As Mr Joyce ponders coincidences, he might pause to reflect on the attitude of Jesus to hypocrisy, discussed in the Gospel of John.  The Pharisees, in an attempt to discredit Jesus, brought before him a woman they accused of adultery, reminding the crime was under Mosaic law punishable by stoning.

(3) And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

(4) They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

(5) Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

(6) This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

(7) So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

(9) And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

(10) When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

(11) She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

John 8 (King James Version (KJV 1611)

Given the enthusiasm Mr Joyce showed for defending the sanctity of the marriage vow during the debate about same-sex marriage before deserting his wife to co-habit with a former employee with whom he’d been conducting an adulterous affair, it may be time for him to read the bible rather than just thumping one.

Gladys Berejiklian looking at Scott Morrison.

What made the latest in Mr Joyce’s long line of gaffs funnier still was the release a few days earlier of text messages between former New South Wales premier Gladys Berejiklian (b 1970; Premier of NSW 2017-2021) and an un-named member of Mr Morrison’s cabinet in which Ms Berejiklian branded the prime minister a “horrible, horrible person” who was "untrustworthy" and “more concerned with politics than people”.  The minister proved responsive to the then premier’s analysis, describing his leader as “a fraud”, “a complete psycho” and “desperate and jealous.”  Perhaps a victim of Sinodinos syndrome, when asked, Ms Berejiklian said she couldn't recall of the exchange.

Spirit of forgiveness: The prime-minister washes and conditions his deputy’s hair (digitally altered image).

As soon as this scurrilous texting was revealed, Mr Joyce affected outrage that anyone would do such a thing, condemning the anonymous minister and demanding they reveal their identity.  “I would suggest that if you know anything about this don’t wait to be outed”, Mr Joyce told the media.  He also had practical advice, adding “…and give an explanation.  Maybe it was a bad day in the office, I don’t know. That’s a better way to do it. It getting out is one good rump steak, with horseradish sauce, vegetables and chips, two bottles of red wine, and some journo is going to say ‘You know who told me that? Blah blah blah.’ And she’s out.”  That may yet prove sound advice.  Most revealing perhaps was (1) the admission by the journalist who provided the leak that the ministerial author had on two prior occasions over the last year refused to authorize a public release of the text, dropping the embargo only to permit a release on 1 February 2022 and (2) the journalist writes for the Murdoch press.  Politicians’ motives for doing things always attract interest (when being told of the Belgium ambassador’s death, the French diplomat Talleyrand (Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord, 1754–1838) mused “I wonder what his motive was?”) and there’s been much speculation, most of it pondering which minister would gain most to gain from the messages entering the public domain.

Anxious to help, former NSW premier Bob Carr (b 1947; Premier of NSW 1995-2005, foreign minister 2012-2013 (@bobjcarr)), tweeted:

The minister who shared the text with van Onselen and gave permission to use it was Peter Dutton. If PM Morrison has one more week in free fall the prospect of a leadership change pre-election is real.  Party rules don’t count if most MPs think you will lead them to defeat.

Mr Dutton (b 1970; member of cabinet since 2013) responded by tweeting “Bob Carr’s tweet is baseless, untrue and should be deleted” but Mr Carr declined, instead adding “Only one way Peter Dutton can win his case: get another colleague to admit that they were the source for comments about the Prime Minister.  If not you, Mr Dutton, which of your colleagues? Until then who has most to gain from undermining further a flailing PM?”

In happier times: Liberal-National Party billboard for the 2016 election campaign.

Given Ms Berejiklian and Mr Dutton sat in different parliaments, hailed from different states and belonged to different factions, it does seem strange he might be the suspect texter but few things in politics unite like a mutual loathing.  Mr Carr offered no evidence for his claim and seemed unconcerned the notably litigious Mr Dutton might issue a writ.  The former foreign minister said that, like a journalist, he wouldn’t be revealing his sources but did indicate the tip came from the usual "normally reliable source" and was not supposition based on Mr Dutton having “a bit of previous”.  Mr Dutton's texting history included sending one calling a journalist a "mad fucking witch".  Unfortunately he sent the text to the target of his remarks but fortunately she worked for the Murdoch press and thus had to cop it sweet which the witch did with some aplomb, even complimenting Mr Dutton for having been a minister who had made a great contribution to government which was one way of putting things.  The conspiracy theory which underpins Mr Carr's tweet is the notion that in 2018 Mr Morrison tricked Mr Dutton into triggering the defenestration of Malcolm Turnbull (b 1954; prime-minister of Australia 2015-2018) and then double-crossed him, securing the numbers and The Lodge for himself.  Not quite Fortinbras in Hamlet but an anyway successful venture.  Interestingly, despite many opportunities, Mr Dutton has never denied being a Freemason.

Peter Dutton looking at Scott Morrison.

Amidst the Sturm und Drang which has raged since the text messages emerged, what’s not been discussed is the desirability of characteristics such as hypocrisy, having more interest in politics than people and being an actual psychopath in a prime-minister.  Being a hypocrite in its original meaning in Ancient Greek (an actor; one playing a part) is so obvious a helpful attribute for a political leader that Ronald Reagan (1911-2004 US President 1981-1989) was probably genuinely surprised at the journalistic naiveté when, during the 1980 presidential election campaign, he was asked if was possible for an actor to be good president.  His rely was “How is it possible for a good president not to be an actor?” and his point was well made and Harold Macmillan (1894-1986, UK prime-minister 1957-1963) was habitually referred to as an “actor-manager”.  Being, in its modern sense, a hypocrite, liar and psychopath might sound less promising qualifications for political leadership and for idealists something truly appalling and it may be these qualities are more valuable in attaining office than exercising successfully its power although there’s always the extraordinary example of Comrade Stalin (1878-1853; leader of the USSR 1924-1953) to illustrate just what a serious psychopath can achieve.

Another fun aspect of these text messages is that the conflict is internecine.  Politicians being mean to those on the other side is so common it barely rates as news unless there’s some particularly egregious accusation, preferably involving a goat or some other abomination but when it’s within the same party, it’s especially amusing because that’s where the real hatreds lie.  That’s why Gordon Brown (b 1951; UK prime-minister 2007-2010) being was labeled “a psychopath” by Tony Blair (b 1953; UK prime-minister 1997-2007) was funny; had he said it of the leader of the opposition it’s doubtful anyone would have noticed.  Mr Joyce’s contribution to the genre was really quite good as was that of Mr Dutton (or whomever the culprit may be) but that of Ms Berejiklian lacked punch; she needs to sharpen the hatchet.

Gate

Gate (pronunced geyt)

(1) A movable barrier, usually on hinges, closing an opening in a fence, wall, or other enclosure.

(2) An opening permitting passage through an enclosure.

(3) A tower, architectural setting, etc., for defending or adorning such an opening or for providing a monumental entrance to a street, park etc.

(4) Any means of access or entrance.

(5) A mountain pass.

(6) Any movable barrier, as at a tollbooth or a road or railroad crossing.

(7) A sliding barrier for regulating the passage of water, steam, or the like, as in a dam or pipe; valve.

(8) In skiing, an obstacle in a slalom race, consisting of two upright poles anchored in the snow a certain distance apart.

(9) The total number of persons who pay for admission to an athletic contest, a performance, an exhibition or the total revenue from such admissions.

(10) In cell biology, a temporary channel in a cell membrane through which substances diffuse into or out of a cell; in flow cytometry, a line separating particle type-clusters on two-dimensional dot plots.

(11) A sash or frame for a saw or gang of saws.

(12) In metallurgy, (1) a channel or opening in a mold through which molten metal is poured into the mold cavity (also called ingate) or (2), the waste metal left in such a channel after hardening; (written also as geat and git).

(13) In electronics, a signal that makes an electronic circuit operative or inoperative either for a certain time interval or until another signal is received, also called logic gate; a circuit with one output that is activated only by certain combinations of two or more inputs.

(14) In historic British university use, to punish by confining to the college grounds (largely archaic).

(15) In Scots and northern English use, a habitual manner or way of acting (largely archaic).

(16) A path (largely archaic but endures in historic references).

(17) As a suffix (-gate), a combining form extracted from Watergate, occurring as the final element in journalistic coinages, usually nonce words, that name scandals resulting from concealed crime or other alleged improprieties in government or business.

(18) In cricket, the gap between a batsman's bat and pad, used usually as “bowled through the gate”.

(19) In computing and electronics, a logical pathway made up of switches which turn on or off; the controlling terminal of a field effect transistor (FET).

(20) In airport or seaport design, a (usually numerically differentiated) passageway or assembly point with a physical door or gate through which passengers embark or disembark.

(21) In a lock tumbler, the opening for the stump of the bolt to pass through or into.

(22) In pre-digital cinematography, a mechanism, in a film camera and projector, that holds each frame momentarily stationary behind the aperture.

(23) A tally mark consisting of four vertical bars crossed by a diagonal, representing a count of five.

Pre 900:  From the Middle English gate, gat, ȝate & ȝeat, from the Old English gæt, gat & ġeat (a gate, door), from the Proto-Germanic gatą (hole, opening).  It was cognate with the Low German and Dutch gat (hole or breach), the Low German Gatt, gat & Gööt, the Old Norse gata (path) and was related to the Old High German gazza (road, street).  Yate was a dialectical form which was an alternative spelling until the seventeenth century; the plural is gates.  Many European languages picked up variations of the Old Norse to describe both paths and what is now understood as a gate.  The Old English geat (plural geatu) was used to mean "gate, door, opening, passage, hinged framework barrier", as was Proto-Germanic gatan, and the Dutch gat; in Modern German, it emerged as gasse meaning “street”; the Finnish katu, and the Lettish gatua (street) are Germanic loan-words.  Interestingly, scholars trace the ultimate source as the Primitive European ǵed (to defecate).

The meaning "money from selling tickets" dates from 1896, a contraction of 1820’s gate-money.  The first reference to uninvited gate-crashers is from 1927 and gated community appears in 1989; that was Emerald Bay, Laguna Beach, California although conceptually similar defensive structures had for millennia been built in many places.

G Gordon Liddy (1930–2021) was the CREEP lawyer convicted of conspiracy, burglary, and illegal wiretapping for his role in the Watergate Affair.  Receiving a twenty-year sentence, he served over four, paroled after Jimmy Carter (b 1924; US President 1977-1981) commuted the term to eight years.  He was one of the great characters of the affair.

The practice of using -gate as a suffix appended to a word to indicate a "scandal involving," is a use abstracted from Watergate, the building complex in Washington DC, which, in 1972, housed the national headquarters of the Democratic Party.  On 17 June, it was burgled by operatives found later to be associated with Richard Nixon's (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) Campaign to Re-elect the President committee (CREEP).  Since Watergate, there have been at least dozens of –gates.

Notable Post-Watergate Gates

Billygate: In 1980, US President Jimmy Carter's brother, Billy (1937-1988), was found to have represented the Libyan government as a foreign agent.  Cynics noted that, unlike his brother, Billy at least had a foreign policy.  Crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013) has provided the lexicon many "-gates".

A marvelous linguistic coincidence gave us Whitewatergate, a confusing package of real estate deals later found technically to be lawful and Futuregate was a reference to some still inexplicable (and profitable) dabbles in her name in the futures markets.  Servergate was the mail server affair which featured mutually contradictory defenses to various allegations, the Benghazi affair and more.  There was also a minor matter but one which remains emblematic of character.  Crooked Hillary Clinton, after years of fudging, was forced to admit she “misspoke” when claiming that to avoid sniper-fire, she and her entourage “…just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base” when landing at a Bosnian airport in 1996.  She admitted she “misspoke” only after a video was released of her walking down the airplane’s stairs to be greeted by a little girl who presented her with a bouquet of flowers.  Even her admission was constructed with weasel words: “…if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement”.  That seemed to clear things up and the matter is now recorded in the long history of crooked Hillary Clinton's untruthfulness as Snipergate.  Most bizarre was Pizzagate, a conspiracy theory that circulated during the 2016 US presidential campaign, sparked by WikiLeaks publishing a tranche of emails from within the Democrat Party machine.  According to some, encoded in the text of the emails was a series of messages between highly-placed members of the party who were involved in a pedophile ring, even detailing crooked Hillary Clinton’s part in the ritualistic sexual abuse of children in the basement of a certain pizzeria in Washington DC.  Among the Hillarygates, pizzagate was unusual in that she was innocent of every allegation made; not even the pizzeria's basement existed.

Closetgate: References the controversy following the 2005 South Park episode "Trapped in the Closet", a parody of the Church of Scientology in which the Scientologist film star Tom Cruise (b 1962) refuses to come out of a closet.  Not discouraged by the threat of writs, South Park later featured an episode in which the actor worked in a confectionery factory packing fudge. 

Grangegate: In Australia in 2014, while giving evidence to the state's Independent Commission against Corruption (ICAC), Barry O'Farrell (b 1959; Premier of New South Wales 2011-2014) forget he’d been given a Aus$3,000 bottle of Penfolds Grange (which he drank without disclosing the gift as the rules required).  He felt compelled to resign.

Perhaps counterintuitively, there seems never to have been a Lindsaygate or Lohangate.  In that sense, Lindsay Lohan may be said to have lived a scandal-free life.

Irangate: Sometimes called contragate, this was the big scandal of Ronald Reagan's (1911-2004; US president 1981-1989) second term.  As a back channel operation, the administration had sold weapons to the Islamic Republic of Iran and diverted the profits to fund the Contra rebels opposing the Sandinista government of Nicaragua.  Congress had earlier cut the funding.

Nipplegate: Sometimes called boobgate, this was a reaction to singer Janet Jackson’s (b 1966) description of what happened at the conclusion of her 2004 Superbowl performance as a “wardrobe malfunction”.  In Europe, they just didn't get what all the fuss was about.

Monicagate: The most celebrated scandal of President Bill Clinton’s (b 1946; US President 1993-2001) second term.  Named after White House intern Monica Lewinsky (b 1973), with whom the president “…did not have sexual relations…”.

1973 Pontiac Trans-Am SD 455.

Dieselgate: In 2015, Volkswagen was caught cheating on emissions tests used to certify for sale some eleven-million VW diesel vehicles by programming them to enable emissions controls during testing, but not during real-world driving.  Manufacturers had been known to do this.  In 1973 Pontiac tried to certify their 455 Super Duty  engine with a not dissimilar trick but the Environmental Protection Authority (EPA) weren’t fooled which is why the production 455SD was rated at 290 horsepower rather than 310.  Later, manufacturers in the Fourth Reich turned out to be just as guilty and, in that handy phrase from German historiography "they all knew".  Including the fines thus far levied, legal fees and the costs associated with product recalls, the affair is estimated so far to have cost VW some US$27 billion but the full accounting won't be complete for some time.  Other German manufacturers were also affected but Daimler (maker of Mercedes-Benz) avoided a penalty by snitching on the others. 

In Australia, Utegate was a 2009 campaign run by opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull (b 1954; prime-minister of Australia 2015-2018) and his then (they're no longer on speaking terms) henchman, Eric Abetz (b 1958, Liberal Party senator for Tasmania, Australia 1994-2022), which accused Dr Kevin Rudd (b 1957; Australian prime-minister 2007-2010 & 2013) of receiving a backhander from a car dealer, the matters in question revolving around an old and battered ute (pick-up).  Based on documents forged by Treasury official Godwin Grech (b 1967), it led to the (first) downfall of Turnbull.  Abetz went on to bigger things but Turnbull neither forgot nor forgave, sacking Abetz during his second coming (which started well but ended badly).  Abetz however proved he still has the numbers which matter, gaining preselection and in 2024 winning a seat in the Tasmanian Legislative Assembly (the state's lower house).  He now serves as minister for business, industry & resources and minister for transport as well as leader of the house in the minority Liberal Party government.  

The first Nutellagate arose at Columbia University early in 2013 with allegations of organized, large-scale theft by students of the Nutella provided in the dining halls. Apparently students, unable to resist the temptation of the newly available nutty spread, were (1) consuming vast quantities, (2) pilfering it using containers secreted in back-packs and (3) actually purloining entire jars from the tables.

In the spirit of the investigative journalism which ultimately brought down President Nixon, the Columbia Daily Spectator, breaking the story, reported that, based on a leak from their deep throat in the catering department, the crime was costing some US$5,000 per week, the hungry students said ravenously to be munching their way through around 100 pounds (37 or 45 KG (deep throat not specific whether the losses were weighed on the avoirdupois or troy scale)) of Nutella every seven days.  The newspaper noted the heist was on such a scale that, unless addressed, the cost to the university would be US$250,000 a year, enough to buy seven jars for every undergraduate student.

The national media picked up the story noting, apart from the criminality, there were concerns about the relationship between the wastage of food, excessively expensive student services, the exorbitant cost of tuition fees and a rampant consumer culture.  It seemed a minor moral panic might ensue until the student newspaper (now a blog) deconstructed the Spectator’s numbers and worked out the caterers must be paying 70% more for Nutella than that quoted by local wholesalers, casting some doubt on the matter.  The university authorities responded within days, issuing a press release headed “Nutellagate Exposed: It's a Smear!"  Their audit revealed that the accounting system had booked US$2,500 against Nutella purchases in the first week of term but that was the usual practice when stocking inventory and that consumption was around the budgeted US$450 in subsequent weeks.  Deep throat (Nutella edition) lost face and was discredited.

Nutellagate II broke in 2017 when a consumer protection organization released a report noting the recipe had, without warning, been changed, the spread now having more sugar and milk powder but less cocoa and, as a result, was now of a lighter hue.  Ferrero’s crisis-management operative responded on twitter, tweeting “our recipe underwent a fine-tuning and continues to deliver the Nutella fans know and love with high quality ingredients,”… adding “…sugar, like other ingredients, can be enjoyed in moderation as part of a balanced diet.”

#Nutellagate soon trended and users expressed displeasure, many invoking the memory of New Coke or the IBM PS/2, two other products which appeared also to try to fix something not broken.  The twitterstorm soon subsided, the speculation being that, because it contained more sugar, consumers would become more addicted and soon forget the fuss.  So it proved, sales remaining strong.  Nutella though remains controversial because of the sugar content and the use of palm oil, a product harvested from vast monocultural plantations and associated with social and environmental damage.  Ferrero has now and again suggested they may be ceasing production but the user base has proved resistant although, recent movements in the hazelnut price may test the elasticity of demand.

Open-Gate Ferraris

The much admired but now almost extinct open-gate shifters were originally purely functional before becoming fetishized.  At a time when more primitive transmissions and shifter assemblies were built with linkages and cables which operated with much less precision than would come later, the open-gates served as a guidance mechanism, making the throws more uniform and ensuring the correct movement of the controlling lever.  Improvements in design actually made open-gates redundant decades ago but they'd become so associated with cars such as Ferraris and Lamborghinis that they'd become part of the expectations of many buyers and it wasn't hard to persuade the engineers to persist, even though the things had descended to be matters purely of style.  A gimmick they may have become but, cut from stainless steel and often secured with exposed screw-heads, they were among the coolest of nostalgia pieces.  

Reality eventually bit when modern, fast electronics meant automatic transmissions both shifted faster and were programmed always to change ratios at the optimal point and no driver however skilled could match that combination.  Once essential to quick, clear shifts, by the late 1990s, the open-gate had actually become a hindrance to the process and while there were a few who still relished the clicky, tactile experience, such folk were slowly dying off and with sales in rapid decline, manufacturers became increasingly unwilling to indulge them with what had become a low-volume, unprofitable option.  

Not all the Ferraris with manual gearboxes used the open-gate fitting, some of the grand-touring cars using concealing leather boots but both are now relics, the factory recently retiring the manual gearbox because of a lack of demand.  The 599 GTB Fiorano was made between 2006-2012 and included the option but of the 3200-odd made, only 30 buyers specified the manual.  That run of 30 was however mass-production compared with the California (2009-2014) which was both the first Ferrari equipped with a dual-clutch transmission and the last to offer a manual, ending the tradition of open gate-shifters which stretched back 65 years.  Testing the market, a six-speed manual option had been added to the hard-top convertible in 2010 and the market spoke, the factory dropping it from the order sheet in 2012 after selling just three cars in three years.  The rarity has however created collectables; on the rare occasions an open gate 599 or California is offered at auction, they attract quite a premium and there's now an after-market converting Ferraris to open gate manuals.  It's said to cost up to US$40,000 depending on the model and, predictably, the most highly regarded are those converted using "verified factory parts".

2012 Ferrari California (top) and 2012 Cadillac CTS-V sedan.

So the last decade at Maranello has been automatic (technically “automated manual transmission”) all the way and although a consequence of the quest for ultimate performance, it wasn’t anything dictatorial and had customer demand existed at a sustainable level, the factory would have continued to supply manual transmissions.  There is however an alternative, Cadillac since 2004 offering some models with manual transmission for the first time since the 1953 Series 75 (among the Cadillac crowd the Cimarron (1982-1988) is never spoken of except in the phrase "the unpleasantness of 1982" ) and by 2013, while one could buy a Cadillac with a clutch pedal, one could not buy such a Ferrari.  For most of the second half of the twentieth century, few would have thought that anything but improbable or unthinkable.

Ferrari open-gate shifter porn 

1965 250 LM

1967 330 GTC

1968 275 GTS/4 NART Spyder

1969 365 GTC

1972 365 GTB/4

1988 Testarossa

1991 Mondial-T Cabriolet

1994 348 Spider

2011 599 GTB Fiorano

2012 California

Caparison

Caparison (pronounced kuh-par-uh-suhn)

(1) A decorative covering for a horse or for the tack or harness of a horse or other animal; trappings (historically applied especially to warhorses).

(2) Rich and sumptuous clothing, ornaments or equipment.

(3) To cover with a caparison (usually in ceremonial military use).

(4) Richly to dress; to deck out.

1585–1595: From the Middle French caparasson (“cloth spread over a saddle” and “personal dress and ornaments”) (which survives in Modern French as caparaçon), from the Old Spanish caparazón (saddlecloth (and akin to capacape)) which may have been from the Old Occitan capairon or perhaps from the augmentative of the Old Provençal caparasso (a mantle with a hood), or the Medieval Latin caparo (a type of cape worn by women (literally "chaperon")).  Caparisoned (the past-participle adjective developed from the verb) dates from circa 1600 and was from the French caparaçonner, from caparaçon.  Even among those who contest the etymology, none appear to deny a link with cape which was from the Middle French cap, from the Occitan cap, from the Latin caput (head).  A doublet of caput, chef and chief (and more distantly of head), as used to describe a "sleeveless cloak, circular covering for the shoulders" which came in the sixteenth century to be regarded as “the Spanish style, it was from the French cape, from the Spanish capa, from the Late Latin cappa (hooded cloak).  In the Late Old English there was capa & cæppe (cloak with a hood) which came directly from the Latin.  Caparison is a noun & verb, caparisoning is a verb, caparisoned is an adjective and although it’s non-standard, caparisonistic would seem useful; the noun plural is caparisons.

Depiction of caparisoned horses in Medieval jousting tournament (left), an example of the use of metal armor with plate croupiere, criniere, and peytral, Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna, Austria (centre) and a caparisoned goat (a military mascot) at the proclamation of King Charles III (right).

Caparisons are now usually decorative and in military use are often decorated with regimental standards or other unit markings.  Their origin however was purely functional and dates from Antiquity as coverings for horses (and, east of Suez, elephants too) to afford the beasts come protection for arrows, bladed weapons etc.  Of course, any sort of layered protection adds weight so whether it’s a truck, a warship or a horse, there are trade-offs, the addition of the protection meaning there’s a reduction in speed, carrying capacity or other measures of performance so the designs varied according to intended purpose, an animal intended for use in knee-to-knee charges fitted with a lighter caparison.  Metal and heavy leather caparisons were not unknown but were quite a burden so most were crafted from a variety of fabrics.  Surprisingly, the material used could be remarkably effective and while not able always to resist penetration, often deflected arrows and blows from swords and lances of delivered at less than an optional angle or very short-range.

A spring & fall (autumn) weatherproof horsecloth.

In modern equestrian management, the functional caparison remains an essential item of equipment and what are usually called horsecloths or horse rugs are sold in a variety of weights (tied to the seasons, the winter versions being heavier than those intended for use in the spring or fall (autumn)) and, depending on need, can be waterproof.  They’re helpful too as protection from wind and even biting insects.

Caparisoned: Royal group photograph (from an originally un-published negative used to control for light and angles), one of a session taken to mark the coronation of George VI (1895-1952; King of the UK 1936-1952).

By extension, caparison as both a noun & verb can be used of the rich, sumptuous or elaborately embellished clothing or regalia worn by people or draped over objects.   For the modern coronation ceremonies concocted by the British monarchy, it had become the practice to dress the family in the full panoply of regalia and this is something Charles III has apparently indicated he’d like to tone down but he’s likely to encounter some resistance from the courtiers who love dressing-up like the Spice Girls and the palace’s media operation which understands the appeal of spectacle, as does the British Army.  Appalled at the inter-war suggestion that the mechanisation of the army would mean mo more horses would be required, the politician Duff Cooper (1890-1954) replied "There will always be a place in the British Army for a well-bred horse".  At the upcoming coronation, we may expect many caparisoned people, horses and goats, mostly well-bred.

Melancholia

Melancholia (pronounced mel-uhn-koh-lee-uh or mel-uhn-kohl-yuh)

(1) A mental condition characterized by great depression of spirits and gloomy forebodings, apathy, and withdrawal.

(2) In clinical psychiatry, endogenous depression (and a former name for depression).

1685-1695: From the Late Latin melancholia, from the Ancient Greek medical term μελαγχολία (melankholía) (blackness of the bile), from μέλας (mélas), the construct being μελαν- (melan-) (black, dark, murky) + χολή (kholḗ) (bile).  In English it originally meant "mental condition characterized by great depression, sluggishness, and aversion to mental action" and over the years many synonyms emerged: discontent, pain, distress, agony, desolation, despondency, discomfort, grief, suffering, despair, torment, affliction, woe, anguish, sadness, depression, unhappiness, abjection, dreariness, dolefulness et al.

The noun melancholiac (person afflicted with melancholy, one who is affected with mental gloom) dates in the medical literature from 1819 though earlier in the same vein were melancholian (1630s), melancholist (1590s) & (most numerously) melancholic (1580s).  The adjective melancholic then was still defined as "containing black bile" reflecting the continued influence of the medical tests from antiquity, this construction from the Late Latin melancholicus, from the Greek melankholikos (choleric), from melankholia (sadness (literally "(excess of) black bile")).  To describe the habitually gloomy souls thought afflicted with melancholia, use began in 1789 (apparently unrelated to anything else happening at the time).  It replaced both the mid-fourteenth century adjective melancholian and survived (for a while), melancholiac which enjoyed a brief vogue during the mid-1800s.  The early fourteenth century noun melancholy (mental disorder characterized by sullenness, gloom, irritability, and propensity to causeless and violent anger) was from the Old French melancolie & malencolie (black bile; ill disposition, anger, annoyance), again borrowed from the Late Latin, source also of the Spanish melancolia, the Italian melancolia, the German Melancholie and the Danish melankoli.  The Old French variant malencolie (which existed also in Middle English) was formed by a false association with mal (sickness).

Moving on: Avoiding loneliness is recommended as a way of staving off feelings of melancholia.  Lindsay Lohan in spoof eHarmony dating advertisement, posted after splitting from former special friend Samantha Ronson, 2009.

The physicians from Antiquity attributed mental depression to unnatural or excess "black bile," a secretion of the spleen and one of the body's four "humors," which help form and nourish the body unless altered or present in excessive amounts. The word also was used in Middle English to mean "sorrow, gloom" (brought on by unrequited love, disappointment etc).  In antiquity it was a concept rather than something with a standardized systemization and there existed competing models with more or fewer components but it’s because the description with four was that endorsed by the Greek physician Hippocrates (circa 460–circa 370 BC) that it became famous in the West and absorbed into medical practice.  The four humors of Hippocratic medicine were (1) black bile (μέλαινα χολή (melaina chole)), (2) yellow bile (ξανθη χολή (xanthe chole)), (3) phlegm (φλέγμα (phlegma)) & (4) blood (αἷμα (haima)), each corresponding with the four temperaments of man and linked also to the four seasons: yellow Bile=summer, black bile=autumn, phlegm=winter & blood=spring.  Since antiquity, doctors and scholars wrote both theoretical and clinical works, the words melancholia and melancholy used interchangeably until the nineteenth century when the former came to refer to a pathological condition, the latter to a temperament.  Depression was derived from the Latin verb deprimere (to press down) and from the fourteenth century, "to depress" meant to subjugate or to bring down in spirits and by 1665 was applied to someone having "a great depression of spirit", Dr Johnson (Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784) using the word in a similar sense in 1753.  Later, the term came into use in physiology and economics.

What was for over two-thousand years known as melancholia came gradually to be called depression, a reclassification formalized in the mid-twentieth century when mental illness was subject to codification.  The first edition of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM (1952)) included depressive reaction and the DSM-II (1968) added depressive neurosis, defined as an excessive reaction to internal conflict or an identifiable event, and also included a depressive type of manic-depressive psychosis within the category of Major Affective Disorders.  The term Major Depressive Disorder was introduced by a group of US clinicians in the mid-1970s and was incorporated into the DSM-III (1980).  Interestingly, the ancient idea of melancholia survives in modern medical literature in the notion of the melancholic subtype but, from the 1950s, the newly codified definitions of depression were widely accepted (although not without some dissent) and the nomenclature, with enhancements, continued in the DSM-IV (1994) and DSM-5 (2013)

Lululeika Ravn Liep (b 1998), 2015: An aesthetic of melancholia.

The cult of cultural and literary melancholia arose in England in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries.  It had the curious effect of transforming the notion of melancholia from a dreadful affliction to an indispensable adjunct of the artistic spirit; the persona of the troubled genius began here.  The phenomenon spread to Europe, best known in the German Sturm und Drang (literally "storm and drive" but more accurately translated as "storm and stress") movement (1760s-1780s) exemplified by the works of Goethe (Johann von Goethe, 1749–1832) and is an identifiable thread in the romantic movement of the nineteenth century.

Volkssturm

Volkssturm (pronounced folks-stuhm)

1944: A German compound, the construct being Volk +‎ -s- +‎ Sturm (a civilian militia (literally “people's storm”) formed during the last days of the Third Reich.  Volkssturm is a proper noun.

One member of the Volkssturm was the philosopher Martin Heidegger (1889-1976), noted for his seminal work in phenomenology & existentialism, a flirtation with the Nazis which he spent the rest of his life rationalizing and an affair with the Jewish political theorist Hannah Arendt (1906–1975).  He was drafted into the Volkssturm in 1944 and apparently dug anti-tank ditches.  Although some sources claim a youthful Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger, b 1927; pope 2005-2013, pope emeritus since) was a member of the Volkssturm, he was actually drafted as a Flakhelfer (an auxiliary attached to an anti-aircraft (flak) unit).  According to the Pope Emeritus, he was never part of shooting at anything.

Volk was from the Middle High German volc, from the Old High German folc, from the Proto-West Germanic folk, from the Proto-Germanic fulką.  It was cognate with the Dutch volk, the English folk, the Swedish folk, the Norwegian Bokmål folk, the Norwegian Bokmål folk, the Icelandic fólk and the Danish folk.  Volk is famously associated with its best understood meaning (people of a certain race united by culture, history, descent & language) with the phrase used by Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; German head of government 1933-1945 and head of state 1934-1945) to describe the “Führer state”: Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Führer! (One People, One Realm, One Leader!).  Whatever the inconsistencies in the reality of the Nazi state, the phrase is an accurate description of the Nazi vision of how the German nation should be understood.  Historically, Volk was also used in the sense of (1) “the common people, the lower classes, the working classes” (now largely archaic), (2) “a large gathering of people (a crowd) in any context” & (3) in zoology (especially entomology) to refer to a herd, covey, swarm, colony etc”.

Sturm was from the Middle High German and Old High German sturm (storm), the retention of the u vowel being irregular; it was lowered to o because of a mutation in all other West Germanic languages (and the Old Norse), despite German being the one Germanic language where a-mutation most consistently occurred, especially of u to o.  A Sturm was a “strong, blustery wind; gust; gale; squall; a storm or tempest” and in Prussia the imagery appealed to the military which applied it to mean a sudden, rushed attack and in the Imperial Army created relatively small units called Sturmtruppen (storm troopers).  As a technique, the precise infiltration tactics of the Sturmtruppen weren’t a German invention and had probably been part of organized military operations as long as warfare has been practiced but the development of rapid-fire weapons had limited the effectiveness of the use of massed formations and during the nineteenth century, the concept of the surgical strike became popular and nowhere was it more fully developed than in the Prussian army manual.  The best known example of the used of the word in this context was the notorious Sturmabteilung (the SA, literally "Storm Detachment"), the original paramilitary wing of the Nazi Party which was a vital component of the structure until power was gained in 1933, after which, having outlived its usefulness to the point where (a as formation with a membership of millions many discontented with the results of the party had offered them once in power) the Nazi hierarchy (and the army) came to regard them as a (at least potential) threat and a bloody purge (Nacht der langen Messer (Night of the Long Knives), also called Unternehmen Kolbri (Operation Hummingbird)) was executed.

Austrian Sturm.

In Austrian viniculture, Sturm is a beverage made from white or red grapes that has begun to ferment but that has not yet turned into wine.  It’s not obviously appealing to look at and is most popular between late September & early October, served usually poured in a pint glass or large tumbler and resembles a hazy, unfiltered beer.  Sturm is unusual in that it’s a partially completed product, being still fermenting and that said to be a large part of the appeal and there’s much variation, some made with red grapes (though most are from white) and they tend from the sweet to the very sweet, all sharing a fresh, juicy, slightly fizzy quality.  Definitely not produced for cork dorks, Sturm is meant to be guzzled.  As a point of note for English speakers, when the word Sturm is used in the original (meteorological) context, the word has no association with rainfall; a Sturm may be accompanied by rain but it refers only to strong winds.

Lindsay Lohan at the Weisses Fest (White Festival), Linz, Austria, July 2014.

The Volkssturm was a civilian militia created by the Nazi Party after Dr Joseph Goebbels (1897–1945; Nazi propaganda minister 1933-1945) was appointed Reichsbevollmächtigter für den totalen Kriegseinsatz (Reich Plenipotentiary for the Total War Effort) in the wake of the attempted assassination of Hitler in July 1944.  The attempt clearly focused the Führer’s mind on the dire situation confronting Germany or, as Goebbels noted in his diary: “It takes a bomb under his ass to make Hitler see sense”.  By then however it was already too late.  Had the Germany economy been moved to a total war footing during 1941 it might have altered the course (though probably not the outcome) of the war but, paradoxically, the authoritarian Nazi state lacked the structure to impose the controls the democracies were able quickly to implement early in the conflict.

Hitler Youth members with Panzerfausts.

Germany’s military was by 1944 in retreat on three fronts (the position worse still considering the loss of superiority in the air and the state of the war at sea) and armament production, although it would peak that year, was not sufficient even to cover losses.  The same was true of the manpower required to replace battlefield causalities and for this reason, the decision was taken to created the Volkssturm by conscripting males aged between 16-60 who had not yet been absorbed by the military unit.  Initially, the Volkssturm members continued in their usual occupations, drilling in the evenings or on (their now rare) days off or constructing obstacles such as tank ditches or barricades.  Poorly equipped and lacking adequate weapons or even uniforms, the Volkssturm, when finally committed in combat in the battle for Berlin in 1945 were militarily ineffective (their greatest successes coming in the number of Soviet tanks destroyed with the remarkably effective Panzerfaust (tank fist) although with these bazooka-like devices the Hitlerjugend (Hitler Youth) formations proved even more effective) and suffered a high rate of causalities, just as predicted by the Army commanders which opposed their deployment, correctly fearing they would only obstruct movement. 

Volkssturm members with Panzerfausts. 

The Volkssturm truly was scraping the bottom of the manpower barrel but, in terms of the only strategic option left open to the regime, by 1945 it did make sense in that its deployment might delay the advance of the allied armies and it was Hitler’s last hope that that if defeat could be staved off, the differences the Western powers and the Soviet Union might see their alliance sundered, one bizarre thought being that the UK and US might realize their true enemy was the USSR and they might join with Germany in vanquishing the "Bolshevik menace".  The Führerbunker must have been a strange place to be in the last days although few actually shared Hitler’s more outlandish hopes and it’s not clear exactly when Hitler too finally realized his luck had run out but almost to the end, however many of the Volkssturm could be cajoled or threatened to assemble, were sent into battle.  As well as the support of Goebbels, the platoons of the old and sick were championed by Martin Bormann (1900–1945; leading Nazi functionary and ultimately Secretary to the Führer 1943-1945), one of the breed of blood-thirsty non-combatants which right-wing politics to this day seems to attract.  Hitler would well have understood service in the Volkssturm was a death sentence for those not able to sneak away (which many did).  In 1937 in an address to the Kreisleiters (district leaders) in Vogelsang Castle, he described such civilian militias as a “totally worthless crowd” because “drumming up enthusiasm” could never produce soldiers.  Mr Putin may be reaching the same conclusion.

While videos and photographs circulating on the internet suggest the Russian military machine is not now what it once was (and by most until a few months ago presumed still to be), the Kremlin’s problem is not the dire shortage of men available for military mobilization but their collective unwillingness to join the battle.  It’s unlikely the photographs in circulation showing some rather grey and elderly recruits are representative of the mobilization; like every military, the Russian databases will have a few incorrect records but all the indications are that there are shortfalls in the equipment able to be supplied to the troops thus far available for immediate deployment, let alone those undergoing training.  Certainly, the Kremlin’s claim (apparently verified as official) that the September 2022 mobilization would yield some 300,000 troops (there was no comment on how many would be combat-ready) or about 15 divisions (in historic terms) seems unlikely to be realized.  Even had the numbers become available, the course of the special military action (war) thus far suggests even the available Russian forces so reinforced would not been sufficient to conquer, let alone occupy Ukraine but expectations may have been lowered (adjusted in political-speak) to the point where a serviceable and defensible land-bridge to the Crimea would suffice for victory to be declared.  However, that would likely merely re-define rather than resolve the Kremlin’s problems.  It appears too that the Kremlin’s problems pre-date the special military action (war), the aim in autumn of 2021 to recruit 100,000 volunteers to the Russian Combat Army Reserve falling well short, as did subsequent attempts, the most recent initiated in June 2022.  The compulsory mobilization is a tacit admission the formation of “volunteer battalions” has not been successful.  Still, it’s unlikely the Kremlin will resort to creating its own Volkssturm to try to plug the gaps.

Practical advice to newly mobilized Russian troops.