Concatenate

Concatenate (pronounced kon-kat-on-ate)

(1) In biology, joined together, as if in a chain.

(2) In general use, to link things together; unite in a series or chain.

(3) In computing, the joining together of two or more objects stored in different places; most familiar as the spreadsheet command(s) invoked to join cells.

(4) In formal language, as string concatenation, the operation of joining character strings end-to-end.

1425-1475: From the late Middle English (as a past participle) from the Late Latin concatēnātus, from the perfect passive participle stem of concatēnāre (to link together), the construct being con- (com-) (with, together) + catenare, from catēnō (chain, bind) or catēna (chain) + -ātus (from the Proto-Italic -ātos, from the primitive Indo-European –ehztos and was the suffix used to form adjectives from nouns indicating the possession of a thing or a quality).  Related forms include concatenator & concatenation (nouns), concatenated & concatenating (verbs & adjectives) and concatenative (adjective).  Those who use the undo function on their spreadsheet after concatenating are using the verb deconcatenate and the adjective unconcatenating.  Concatenate the adjective has a longer history than the verb. The adjective first appeared in English in the fifteenth century, the not until the seventeenth.  Catenate, a verb in its own right meaning "to link in a series" also has origins in the 1800s.  Concatenate is a verb & adjective, concatenated, concatenating are verbs and concatenation is a noun; the noun plural is concatenations.

Lotus 123/G running under OS/2 1.2, 1989.

Concatenate is the favorite big word of most accountants, the others preferring avoidance.  For most people not engaged in certain specialised fields, it’s only when using a spreadsheet that the chance exists to use the word concatenate although it’s now often optional, Microsoft in Excel 2016 having added the CONCAT function which does all that CONCATENATE ever did.  The old command remains as a courtesy to those (1) who think the old ways are best or (2) have a stash of macros and add-ins laden with the text but there’s no guarantee both will continue to co-exist in future versions.  Both IBM and Microsoft have often had short and long versions of commands in software.  From the earliest versions of PC-DOS and MS-DOS, there were pairs like copy/cpy and delete/del which behaved identically.

The spreadsheet is regarded as the original “killer app”; the software which suddenly made rational the purchase of a computer for those not before seduced or at least convinced.  The first spreadsheet which really was a viable piece of horizontal-market shrink-wrap was Visicalc which, like the hardware on which it ran now seems limited but, unlike the operating system on which it ran, is conceptually identical and visually, vaguely similar to the latest releases.  Visicalc, launched in 1979 on the Apple II, two years before the IBM PC went on sale, came first but it was the more ambitious Lotus 1-2-3 which gained critical mass, assuming almost from its 1983 debut a market dominance which would last more than a decade.  By 1989, the standard office environment for those running PCs was overwhelmingly the Lotus 123 2.x / WordPerfect 5.x combination, the nerdiest operations perhaps adding the dreaded dBASE III Plus.

Microsoft Windows 3.0, 1990.

In what was one of the early disruptions in the business, things quickly changed.  In 1990, Microsoft Windows 3.0 was introduced, an unstable operating environment bolted on to DOS and soon famous for its UAEs (Unrecoverable Applications Errors), the BSODs (blue screen of death) of the era.  Fragile it may have been but it made the PC usable for real people in a way a command-line based user interface like DOS never did and by the time Windows 3.1 arrived in 1992, the move was on.  Microsoft were ready and Windows 3.1, combined with the updated Excel and Word for Windows sounded the death knell for Lotus 1-2-3 and WordPerfect, both of which were murdered, dBASE more of a suicide as any user of dBASE IV will attest.  The old programs would struggle on, under new ownership, for years, Lotus 1-2-3 lasting until the twenty-first century and a much diminished WordPerfect to this day though neither would ever regain their place in the commercial mainstream.

A concatenation of images of variations in Lindsay Lohan's hair color.

Both failed adequately to react to Windows 3.0, WordPerfect pursuing an evolutionary development of their text-based platform while Lotus followed what turned out to be the right technology but the wrong company.  Almost from the start, Lotus had been besieged by user requests for a way to allow spreadsheets to be bigger and that needed a way for the program to access more memory.  Because of (1) the way DOS was written and (2) the memory address limitations of the early (80x86 & 80x88) hardware, not even all of the 1 MB nominally available could be used and it took not long for spreadsheet users to exhaust what was.  New hardware (80286 & 80386) made more memory available but DOS, really a brutish file-loader, couldn’t see it and the costs of re-equipping with more capable hardware and software combinations were, in the 1980s, high.  There were quick and dirty fixes.  One was a cooperative venture between Lotus, Intel & Microsoft which published an expanded memory specification (LIM EMS), a clever trick allowing access to 4 MB of memory but which brought problems of its own.  Most users continued to create multiple sheets, linking them in a variety of ways, a complexity which was often error prone and, as things grew, increasingly difficult to debug.  It wasn’t just megalomaniacs who longed for everything in one big sheet.

IBM OS/2 2.1, 1993.

Windows 3.0 may not have impressed Lotus but OS/2, Microsoft’s slated long-term replacement for both DOS and Windows certainly did.  Available already with 16 MB of memory, later versions of OS/2 promised 4 GB, a big number then and enough even in 2021 for what most people do with spreadsheets, most of the time.  Lotus nailed 1-2-3’s colors to the OS/2 mast, the first version for the new platform, 123/G (for graphical), released in 1989 and running only on OS/2, did what it claimed and users were soon delighted by the sight (if not the speed) of the spread of their giant sheets.  Unfortunately, users were few because buyers of OS/2 were scarce, their reluctance not helped by Microsoft’s sudden change of operating system direction.  As surprised as everybody else at the massive success of Windows 3.0 and 3.1, Microsoft announced that instead of continuing their co-development of OS/2 with IBM, they were proceeding with Windows as a stand-alone product; existing versions of OS/2 on sale and under development (versions 1 & 2) would be handed back to IBM to pursue while Microsoft would work on their next release which was to have been called OS/2 3.0.  This was the product which would in 1993 be released as Windows NT 3.1. 

It was a high-risk strategy.  In the early 1990s, IBM was years away from its near-death experiences and was the industry behemoth; having them as a partner was not without difficulties but to make an enemy of them was riskier still.  The potential reward however was compelling.  The revenue stream from Windows would flow wholly to Microsoft and, more conspiratorially, having exclusive control of the operating system and its secrets meant the possibility to tweak its own software offerings so they would run better than the competition.  There is of course no suggestion Microsoft ever did that.  All depended on (1) Windows continuing its sales success and (2) the newer versions maintaining the cost/performance advantage over OS/2 which would prevent IBM’s product gaining critical mass.  That is exactly what happened.

Microsoft Windows NT 4.0, 1997.

While OS/2 technically was good and the compatibility issues feared by many never existed to the extent claimed, it simply didn’t offer enough of an advantage over Windows 3.x to justify what would for many be a significant cost in hardware, software and training.  Nor, as the track record with thing like the PCjr demonstrated, were IBM very good at selling stuff unless it was in lots of thousands to big corporations.  Microsoft offered things users were actually interested in, like free fonts whereas IBM fiddled around with exotica like installable file systems (IFS), a concept remote from the lives of most.  Compared with the actually clunky looking Windows 3.x, OS/2 with its IFS, pre-emptive multi-tasking and object-oriented user interface looked like the future of computing and so it was but Windows NT (ex OS/2 3.0) turned out to be a better path.  By the time Windows 95 was released in 1995, Microsoft had won the consumer war and within two years, Windows NT had laid the foundation not only to dominate the desktop in the twenty-first century but to displace Novell and others in the lucrative server market which underpinned the rapidly growing parts of the market, networks (WANs and LANs) and the internet.  In this clash of titans, WordPerfect, dBASE and Lotus were collateral damage.

Strand

Strand (pronounced strand)

(1) To drive or leave (a ship, fish etc) aground or ashore.

(2) To bring into or leave in a helpless position (usually used in the passive).

(3) A shore or beach (now poetic, archaic or regional).

(4) A small brook or rivulet (archaic).

(5) A passage for water; a gutter (Northern England & Scotland)

(6) A foreign country (archaic).

(7) One of a number of fibres, threads, or yarns, plaited or twisted together to form a rope, cord, or the like.

(8) A rope made of such twisted or plaited fibres.

(9) A fibre or filament, as in animal or plant tissue.

(10) A thread or threadlike part of anything.

(11) By extension, a constituent element in a complex argument.

(12) A street in the Westminster district of west-central London, running from Trafalgar Square to Fleet Street parallel to the Thames, so-called because it was the “north strand” (ie shore) of the river; also the areas immediately surrounding the street.

Pre 1000:  From the Middle English strand or strond, (sea shore), from Old English strand (shore), related to the Dutch strand and Middle High German strant (beach) and the Latin sternere (to spread).  The Old English was borrowed from the Proto-Germanic strandaz & strandō (edge, rim, shore), source also of the Danish and Swedish strand (beach, shore, strand), the Old Norse strönd (border, edge, shore) the Middle Low German strant and the German and Dutch strand (beach).  The origin of the Proto-Germanic is uncertain but may be from the primitive Indo-European ster- (to broaden or stretch out), the application of which was “the parts of a shore that lies between the tide-marks” and it applied formerly also to river banks, hence The Strand in London, the name dating from 1246.

Françoise Hardy (b 1944), The Strand, London, 1966.

Historically, in Middle English it described things riparian, the use to refer to “individual fibres of a rope, string etc” or human hair first recorded circa 1500, probably from the Old French estran, from a Germanic source akin to the Old High German streno (lock, tress, strand of hair) from which is derived the Middle Dutch strene (a skein, hank of thread) and the German strähne (a skein, strand) of unknown origin.  The meaning "to drive aground on a shore" from which flowed the figurative sense of "leave lost or helpless" as of a ship left aground by the tide, was first recorded in 1837 and survives in the words stranded & stranding. Descendants of the Germanic root appear in many European languages including Hungarian, Romanian & Serbo-Croatian and it’s a not uncommon proper noun in the Nordic lands, both as a surname and locality name.

The stranded phrase

In linguistic anthropology, a stranded phrase is a once-popular saying that has fallen from use.  The idea is shared with economics where the term stranded asset is used to describe assets held which have been subject to a premature or unanticipated devaluation in their value, the most commonly quoted potential examples being vast, undeveloped coal-fields which decades ago were highly valued, to be capitalized over a productive life which might be forty or more years but which may shortly become worthless because of shifts in the market.  Phrases can fall from favor for structural reasons or just become unfashionable in the way something like “stone the crows” is archaic, stranded in the time of its popularity, sometimes surviving only as period pieces of an era.

The phrase bunny boiler is derived from the film Fatal Attraction (1987) in which an obsessive, spurned woman, in a fit of frenzied jealousy, boils in a pot the pet rabbit of her erstwhile lover's daughter.  The epithet was coined to refer to women unable to remain rational at the end of a romantic relationship and predictably, is only ever applied to women.  In pre-web times, variations in colloquial language tended to spread more slowly than those powered by the latter-day ubiquity of the net and “bunny boiler” seems not to have entered general use until 1994.  The USENET groups which maintain online archives of such things notes bunny boiler was not used on their (pre-web) platform and while there’s no reliable information about use on the web before 1994, given that non-academic use of the internet then was a tiny fraction of today, such data might anyway not be indicative of general use but nor are there more than a handful of instances in the archives of US and British newspapers before that date.  Indeed, the first recorded instance in print is from an interview the rabbit-slaughtering actress Glenn Close (b 1947) gave to the US magazine Ladies' Home Journal in December 1990 during which she observed "…there's nothing like portraying a psychopathic bunny-boiler to boost one's self-esteem”.  If that was the first publication, that’s a plausible reason why it took so long after 1987 to disseminate and it makes sense because the epithet isn't in the original dialogue or promotional material and nor does it appear in any contemporary review.

Despite that, some sources do say it pre-dates 1990 but provide no evidence and all agree it came into wider use only after 1994 when the web began to assist dissemination, a process similar to that described by epidemiologists to illustrate the progress of viruses which, if achieving critical mass, can become an epidemic… or worse.  Bunny boiler thus began to enjoy a rapidity of infection from 1994, use peaking between 1998-2003, then declining to become stranded in its era.  The explanation offered by etymologists is that too much time elapsed between the source in 1987, the origin of the phrase circa 1990 and the mid-decade adoption so it lacked the newness and novelty these things usually require; its historic moment had passed.  Still, for men it remains useful, any needy, possessive, clingy or even talkative woman can be labelled potential or suspected bunny boiler.

Strands of Lindsay Lohan’s hair in an array of colors.

The idea is of course not new.  For some reason, the (anyway incorrectly quoted) phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is often attributed to Shakespeare, possibly because it’s plausibly in his voice or maybe because for most the only time the Middle English “hath” is seen is in some Shakespearian quote so the association sticks.  The real author however was actually Restoration playwright William Congreve (1670–1729) who coined the phrase for his 1697 play The Mourning Bride, the protagonist of which, although becoming a bit unhinged by the cruel path of doomed love, doesn’t resort to leporidaecide.  Congreve’s line, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned” was good but actually was a more poetic rendition of a similar but less elegantly expressed version another playwright had used a year earlier.  The Mourning Bride is also the source of another fragment for which the bard is often given undeserved credit: “Music has charms to soothe a savage breast” although that’s often bowdlerized as “Music has charms to soothe a savage beast”.

Groyne

Groyne (pronounced groin)

A wall or jetty built out from a riverbank or seashore to control erosion; also known as a spur or breakwater, acting as a "strong, low sea wall".  The US spelling is for all purposes: groin.  The noun plural is groynes.

1580s: Origin contested, some sources claim it’s an alteration of groin, the use based on a vague anatomical similarity.  The alternative etymology, this one linked to porcine proboscis anatomy, traces the origin to the Middle English groyn (snout) from the Old French groign & groin (muzzle, snout; promontory, jutting part) from the Late Latin grunium & grunia, derived from the Classical Latin grunnire (grunt like a pig).  It has troubled etymologists because the use of groin in the sense of "pig's snout" from circa 1300 was obsolete long before the 1580s.  All agree however the link of the Latin and French forms to the colloquial English grunter (a pig).

Groynes are fixed hydraulic structure extending either from a costal shoreline or riverbank which interrupt the natural water-flow, thereby limiting the movement of sediment.  Historically, groynes were made from timber or stone but synthetic materials are now also used.  Ocean groynes tend towards being perpendicular to the shore, extending from the upper foreshore or beach into the water where as riparian structures are often laid at more acute angles.  Groynes may be wholly or partially submerged and the space between two is called a groyne field although they’re generally built in a series, often in tandem with seawalls.

English spelling evolved under many influences and this produced anomalies and absurdities, some of which the Americans corrected and it would be nice if the rest of the English-speaking world could be convinced to adopt the more rational of their innovations.  However, like cheque & check, groin (part of a body or vault) & groyne (a breakwater) share one pronunciation yet more than one meaning so maintaining two different spellings seems useful.  It's one of those examples where the often commendable simplification of US English is not helpful.

Magazine

Magazine (pronounced mag-uh-zeen)

(1) A publication that is issued periodically, usually bound in a paper cover, and typically contains essays, stories, poems, etc., by many writers, and often photographs and drawings, frequently specializing in a particular subject or area, as hobbies, news, or sports.

(2) A room or place for keeping gunpowder and other explosives, as in a fort or on a warship.

(3) A building or place for keeping military stores, as arms, ammunition, or provisions.

(4) A metal receptacle for a number of bullets or cartridges, inserted into certain types of automatic and semi-automatic weapons which, when empty, is removed and replaced by a full receptacle in order to continue firing.

(5) In broad or narrowcast media (radio, TV, social etc), a production consisting of several, usually short, segments in which various subjects are examined, usually in greater detail than on a regular newscast.  In the jargon of the industry: the magazine format.

(6) A device for continuously recharging a handling system, stove or boiler with solid fuel.

(7) A storehouse or warehouse (now rare).

(8) A collection of war munitions.

(9) A rack for automatically feeding a number of slides through a projector.

(10) In film-stock photography, an alternative name for cartridge.

(11) A city regarded as a marketing centre (archaic).

1581: From the Middle French magasin (warehouse, store), from the Italian magazzino (storehouse), from the Arabic مَخَازِن‎ (makhāzin) (plural of مَخْزَن‎ (makhzan) (storehouse)) noun of place from خَزَنَ‎ (khazana) (to store, to stock, to lay up); from the same Arabic source came the Spanish almacén (warehouse) and it's an example of European languages borrowing from an Arabic in plural form to create a singular form.  The original Arabic plural مخازن (maxāzin) was from the singular noun مخزن (maxzan) (storehouse; depot; shop).  A magazinette was  a small or short magazine (in the sense of a periodic publication), based on the notion of a novella or operetta.  Such things do still exist but the term has fallen from use.  In the early days of the commercial availability of semi-automatic firearms, at least one manufacturer did label those used with handguns "magazinette", the idea being they were a small version of the "magazines" supplied with larger weapons but the four syllable suggestion seems almost instantly to have been replaced by "clip".  The informal noun describing the industry publishing magazines was magazineland.  Magazine, magaziner & magazinette are nouns and magazinelike (and magazine-like) is an adjective (magazinesque seems to be non-standard); the noun plural is magazines.

Lindsay Lohan, Vogue magazine (Spanish edition), August 2009.

The original general sense of “storehouse” is almost obsolete except for military purposes and in naval history, magazines feature frequently because their detonation (usually as a result of attack but sometimes accidents too) was often the cause of ships being sunk, often with a high death-toll.  As used to describe books figuratively as “storehouses of information”, the form emerged circa 1640, the first application to a "periodical journal" was the Gentleman's Magazine in 1731.  Over the years magazines have appeared in a variety of formats with paper stock of different sizes and quality and have been as small as a single sheet or have run to hundreds of pages.  Although high-end publications were often lavish, it was only after the 1970s that the use of glossy paper became the industry standard after for years often appearing only on covers.  In the West, the the 1970s, 1980s & 1990s were the golden decades for magazines (and newspapers), the general trend of rising prosperity and the attractiveness of the medium to advertisers meaning growth of the sector was assured and the ease with which new entrants could appear was enhanced by the rise of desktop publishing, meaning entire editions could be composed with equipment which cost a tiny faction of what was required even a generation earlier.  There was churn because many came and went and the periodic recessions claimed some but during those decades the trend was more and not less.

The early days of the internet, when most interactions happened on desktops or laptops appears to have had little effect on the industry and may even have stimulated demand but it was in the early 2010s the near simultaneous arrival at scale of bandwidth, social media and smartphones which created a vicious cycle of (1) increasing volumes of content moving from established publishers to social media & (2) the advertising revenue following the viewers who followed the content.  The decade was littered with publications which either moved on-line or folded entirely but nothing compared with the sudden hit in 2020-2021 of the COVID-19 pandemic when titles which had for a generation or more been staples of the industry ceased to be.  However, some subsequently were revived and what seems to have happened is that many non-specialist titles (such as fashion magazines) have been re-invented as niche players designed to appeal to a small market with the interests and disposable income (the famous A1 & A2 demographic) which will attract advertisers.  A kind of pre-packaging of the audiences micro-marketers crave, this segment of the magazine business can be compared with narrowcasting and for some, the glossy magazine is something desirable and just another form of technology albeit one which can be a more pleasant and more convenient way to consume content and prices has risen so such things can also be flaunted as a status symbol, the sense of exclusivity sometimes not wholly illusory because some titles do restrict certain content to their print editions.  In the West, it's unlikely the glossies will ever again be the mass-market force they once were but as the revival of vinyl records demonstrated, where ongoing demand exists for something technically obsolete, provided a business model can be found profitably to provide supply, niches can survive and thrive.                        

The Economist's editors' choice of the ten covers which seemed best to define 2016.  At the time, 2016 seemed a ghastly year but worse was to come. 

However, being something that looks like a glossy magazine and sits in the shop on the shelf with other magazines does not guarantee that it is a magazine.  The English weekly The Economist (published since 1843) certainly ticks all the boxes for the criteria of what most people would think constitutes a magazine yet it has always described itself as a "newspaper".  That probably seems strange to many given the structure and nature of the content is more closely aligned with other specialist publications labelled "magazines" than with almost all "newspapers".  The explanation is relates to the the way the word "newspaper" was understood in 1843 and until 1971 it was printed in a broadsheet format (the change to the modern form in no way affecting editorial content).  Just to add some typically Economistesque precision, the editor in 2016 clarified the position further by explaining "perfect-bound" publications (the binding process used) were in 1843 called "newspapers".  If that sounds a highly technical point, so it should because economics remains, by definition and habit, the publication's meat & drink and economics is a technical business.  Whether it is or can ever be a science is one of those amusing arguments in which minds are never changed.

The Economist is renowned also for its cartoons and the dry, occasionally sardonic captions which accompany the photographs and illustrations used lend color or context to articles.  A rough guide to hell appeared on the cover of the 2012 Christmas double issue (December 2012).  Theologically dubious, as a piece predictive of the decade ahead, it proved remarkably prescient.

Politically, The Economist is best classified as belonging to "the fiscally conservative, socially liberal faction of the rational centre-right" and one perhaps surprising quirk revealed in a survey conducted by a US university was the high number of readers who turn first to the weekly obituary, the subjects of which are an eclectic lot: In addition to the expected popes, politicians & potentates, criminals, Cassanovas & courtesans and musicians, mandarins & megalomaniacs (there's some overlap with other categories), there are lives recorded which might otherwise be forgotten such as the man who spent decades gathering and storing all the typefaces used by the world's typewriters.  Nor are non-humans neglected, Alex the African Grey (science's best known parrot) & Benson (England's best-loved fish), both granted the valedictories they doubtlessly deserved.

TikToker

TikToker (pronounced tik-tok-ah)

(1) One who is a regular or frequent viewer of the content posted on the short-form video (which, with mission-creep, can no been up to ten (10) minutes in duration) sharing site TikTok.com.

(2) One who is a regular or frequent content provider on the TikTok platform.

(3) With a variety of spellings (ticktocker, tictoker, tiktoka etc), a slang term for a clock or watch, derived from the alternating ticking sound, as that made by a clock (archaic).

(4) In computing, with the spelling ticktocker (or ticktocker), slang for a software element which emulates the sound of a ticking clock, used usually in conjunction with digitals depictions of analogue clocks.

2018: The ancestor form (ticktock or tick-tock) seems not to have been used until the mid-nineteenth century and was purely imitative of the sound of mechanical clocks. Tick (in the sense of "a quiet but sharp sound") was from the Middle English tek (light touch, tap) and tock was also onomatopoeic; when used in conjunction with tick was a reference to the clicking sounds similar to those made by the movements of a mechanical clock.  The use of TikToker (in the sense of relating to users (consumers & content providers) of the short-form video (which, with mission-creep, can be up to ten (10) minutes in duration) sharing site TikTok.com probably began in 2018 (the first documented reference) although it may early have been in oral use.  The –er suffix was from the Middle English –er & -ere, from the Old English -ere, from the Proto-Germanic -ārijaz, thought most likely to have been borrowed from the Latin –ārius where, as a suffix, it was used to form adjectives from nouns or numerals.  In English, the –er suffix, when added to a verb, created an agent noun: the person or thing that doing the action indicated by the root verb.   The use in English was reinforced by the synonymous but unrelated Old French –or & -eor (the Anglo-Norman variant -our), from the Latin -ātor & -tor, from the primitive Indo-European -tōr.  When appended to a noun, it created the noun denoting an occupation or describing the person whose occupation is the noun.  TikToker is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is TikTokers (the mixed upper & lower case is correct by commercial convention but not always followed).  The PRC- (People’s Republic of China) based holding company ByteDance is said to have chosen the name “TikTok” because it was something suggestive of the “short, snappy” nature of the platform’s content; they understood the target market and its alleged attention span (which, like the memory famously associated with goldfish might be misleading).

Billie Eilish, Vogue, June, 2021.

Those who use TikTok (whether as content providers & consumers) are called “tiktokers” and the longer the aggregate duration of one’s engagement with the platform, the more of a tiktoker one is.  The formation followed the earlier, self-explanatory “YouTuber” and the use for similar purposes (indicating association) for at least decades.  So the noun tiktoker is a neutral descriptor but it can also be used as a slur.   In February 2024, at the People’s Choice Awards ceremony held in Los Angeles, singer Billie Eilish (b 2001) was filmed leaning over to Kylie Minogue (b 1968) ,making the sotto voce remark “There’s some, like, TikTokers here…” with the sort of distaste Marie Antoinette (1755–1793; Queen Consort of France 1774-1792) might have displayed if pointing out to her sympatetic the unpleasing presence of peasants.  The clip went viral on X (formerly known as Twitter) before spreading to Tiktok.  Clearly there is a feeling of hierarchy in the industry and her comments triggered some discussion about the place of essentially amateur content creators at mainstream Hollywood events.  That may sound strange given that a platform like TikTok would, prima facie, seem the very definition of the “people’s choice” but these events have their own history, associations and implications and what social media sites have done to the distribution models has been quite a disturbance and many established players, even some who have to some extent benefited from the platforms, find the intrusion of the “plague of TikTokers” disturbing.

Pop Crave's clip of the moment, Billie Eilish & Kylie Minogue, People's Choice Awards ceremony, Los Angeles, February 2024.

There will be layers to Ms Eilish’s view.  One is explained in terms of mere proximity, the segregation of pop culture celebrities into “A List”, B List, D List” etc an important component of the creation and maintenance of one’s public image and an A Lister like her would not appreciate being photographed at an event with those well down the alphabet sitting at the next table; it cheapens her image.  Properly managed, these images can translate into millions (and these days even billions) of dollars so this is not a matter of mere vanity and something for awards ceremonies to consider; if the TikTokers come to be seen as devaluing their brand to the extent the A Listers ignore their invitations, the events either have to move to a down-market niche or just be cancelled.  Marshall McLuhan’s (1911-1980) book Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man (1964) pre-dates social media by decades but its best-remembered phrase (“The medium is the message”) could have been designed for the era, the idea being that the medium on which content is distributed should be first point of understanding significance, rather than actual content.  McLuhan’s point was that the initial assessment of the veracity or the value of something relies on its source.  In the case of pop music, this meant a song distributed by a major label possessed an inherent credibility and prestige in a way something sung by a busker in a train station did not.  What the existence of YouTube and TikTok meant was the buskers and the artists signed to the labels suddenly began to appear on the same medium, thus at some level gaining some sort of equivalency.  On TikTok, it’s all the same screen.

Ms Eilish and her label has been adept at using the socials as tool for this and that so presumably neither object to the existence or the technology of the sites (although her label (Universal Music) has only recently settled its dispute with TikTok over the revenue sharing) but there will be an understanding that while there’s now no alternative to in a sense sharing the digital space and letting the people choose, that doesn’t mean she’ll be happy about being in the same photo frame when the trophies are handed out.  Clearly, there are stars and there are TikTokers and while the latter can (and have) become the former, there are barriers not all can cross.

1966 Jaguar Mark X 4.2 (left), 1968 Dodge Charger RT 440 (centre) and 1981 Mercedes-Benz 500 SLC (right).  Only the Americans called the shared tachometer/clock a “Tic-Toc Tach”.

Jaguar had long been locating a small clock at the bottom of the tachometer but in 1963 began to move the device to the centre of the dashboard, phasing in the change as models were updated or replaced.  By 1968 the horological shift was almost complete (only the last of the Mark II (now known as 240, 340 & Daimler V8 250 models still with the shared dial) and it was then Chrysler adopted the idea although, with a flair the British never showed, the called it the "Tic-Toc-Tachometer.  Popularly known as the “Tic-Toc Tach”, it was also used by other US manufacturers during the era, the attraction being an economical use of dash space, the clock fitting in a space at the centre of the tachometer dial which would otherwise be unused.  Mercedes-Benz picked up the concept in 1971 when the 350 SL (R107) was introduced and it spread throughout the range, universal after 1981 when production of the 600 (W100) ended.  Mercedes-Benz would for decades use the shared instrument.  A tachometer (often called a “rev counter”) is a device for measuring the revolutions per minute (RPMs) of a revolving shaft such as the crankshaft of an internal combustion engine (ICE) (thus determining the “engine speed”).  The construct was tacho- (an alternative form of tachy-, from the Ancient Greek ταχύς (takhús) (rapid) + meter (the suffix from the Ancient Greek μέτρον (métron) (measure) used to form the names of measuring devices).

Conventions in English and Ablaut Reduplication

In 2016, the BBC explained why we always say “tick tock” rather than “tock-tic” although, based on the ticking of the clocks at the time the phrase originated, there would seem to be no objective reasons why one would prevail over the other but the “rule” can be constructed thus: “If there are three words then the order has to go I, A, O.  If there are two words then the first is I and the second is either A or O which is why we enjoy mish-mash, chit-chat, clip-clop, dilly-dally, shilly-shally, tip-top, hip-hop, flip-flop, tic tac, sing song, ding dong, King Kong & ping pong.  Obviously, the “rule” is unwritten so may be better thought a convention such as the one which dictates why the words in “Little Red Riding Hood” appear in the familiar order; there the convention specifies that in English, adjectives run in the textual string: opinion; size; age; shape; colour; origin; material; purpose noun.  Thus there are “little green men” but no “green little men” and if “big bad wolf” is cited as a violation of the required “opinion (bad); size (big); noun (wolf)” wolf, that’s because the I-A-O convention prevails, something the BBC explains with a number of examples, concluding “Maybe the I, A, O sequence just sounds more pleasing to the ear.”, a significant factor in the evolution of much that is modern English (although that hardly accounts for the enduring affection some have for proscribing the split infinitive, something which really has no rational basis in English, ancient or modern.  All this is drawn from what is in structural linguistics called “Ablaut Reduplication” (the first vowel is almost always a high vowel and the reduplicated vowel is a low vowel) but, being English, “there are exceptions” so the pragmatic “more pleasing to the ear” may be more helpful in general conversation.

Lindsay Lohan announces she is now a Tiktoker.

Rolls-Royce, the Ford LTD and NVH

Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud II, 1959.  Interestingly, the superseded Silver Cloud (1955-1958) might have been quieter still because the new, all-aluminium 6¼ litre (380 cubic inch) V8 didn’t match the smoothness & silence of the previous cast iron, 4.9 litre (300 cubic inch) straight-six.

The “tick-tocking” sound of a clock was for some years a feature of the advertising campaigns of the Rolls-Royce Motor Company, the hook being that: “At 60 mph (100 km/h) the loudest noise in a Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock”.  Under ideal conditions, that was apparently true but given electric clocks can be engineered to function silently, the conclusion was the company fitted time-pieces which made a deliberately loud “tick-tock” sound, just to ensure the claims were true.  They certainly were, by the standards of the time, very quiet vehicles but in the US, Ford decided they could mass-produce something quieter still and at the fraction of the cost.  Thus the 1965 Ford LTD, a blinged-up Ford (intruding into the market segment the corporation had previously allocated to the companion Mercury brand), advertised as: “Quieter than a Rolls-Royce”.  Just to ensure this wasn’t dismissed as mere puffery, Ford had an independent acoustic engineering company conduct tests and gleefully published the results, confirming what the decibel (dB) meters recorded.  Sure enough, a 1965 Ford LTD was quieter than a 1965 Rolls-Royce Silver Cloud III.  Notably, while Rolls-Royce offered only one mechanical configuration while the Ford was tested only when fitted with the mild-mannered 289 cubic inch (4.7 litre) V8; had the procedure included another variation on the full-size line which used the 427 (7.0) V8, the results would have been different, the raucous 427 having many charms but they didn’t include unobtrusiveness.

1965 Ford LTD (technically a “Galaxie 500 LTD” because in the first season the LTD was a Galaxie option, not becoming a stand-alone model until the 1966 model year).

Ford did deserve some credit for what was achieved in 1965 because it wasn’t just a matter of added sound insulation.  The previous models had a good reputation for handling and durability but couldn’t match the smoothness of the competitive Chevrolets so within Ford a department dedicated to what came to be called HVH (Noise, Vibration & Harshness) was created and this team cooperated in what would now be understood as a “multi-disciplinary” effort, working with body engineers and suspension designers to ensure all components worked in harmony to minimize NVH.  What emerged was a BoF (Body on Frame) platform, a surprise to some as the industry trend had been towards unitary construction to ensure the stiffest possible structure but the combination of the frame’s rubber body-mounts, robust torque boxes and a new, compliant, coil rear suspension delivered what was acknowledged as the industry’s quietest, smoothest ride.  Ford didn’t mention the tick-tock of the clock.

Catwalk

Catwalk (pronounced kat-wawk)

(1) A narrow walkway, especially one high above the surrounding area, used to provide access or allow workers to stand or move, as over the stage in a theater, outside the roadway of a bridge, along the top of a railroad car etc; any similar elevated walkway.

(2) By extension, a narrow ramp extending from the stage into the audience in a theatre, nightclub etc, associated especially with those used by models during fashion shows (although the gender-neutral “runway” is now sometimes used in preference to “catwalk”).

(3) In nautical architecture, an elevated enclosed passage providing access fore and aft from the bridge of a merchant vessel.

(4) By extension, as "the catwalk", industry slang for the business of making clothes for fashion shows.

1874: The construct was cat + walk.  The use of catwalk to describe a long, narrow footway was a reference initially to those especially of such narrowness of passage that one had to cross as a cat walks.  It applied originally to ships and then theatrical back-stages, the first known use with a fashion show runway dating from 1942.  In architecture on land and at sea, the catwalk soon lost its exclusive association only with the narrow and came instead to be defined by function, used to describe any walkway between two points.  The noun plural is catwalks.  For both nautical and architectural purposes, the English catwalk was borrowed by many languages including Norwegian (Bokmål & Nynorsk) and Dutch and it’s used almost universally in fashion shows.  Some languages such as the Ottoman Turkish قات‎ use the spelling kat and some formed the plural as catz.

Cat (any member of the suborder (sometimes superfamily) Feliformia or Feloidea): feliform (cat-like) carnivoran & feloid or any member of the subfamily Felinae, genera Puma, Acinonyx, Lynx, Leopardus, and Felis or any member of the subfamily Pantherinae, genera Panthera, Uncia and Neofelise and (in historic use, any member of the extinct subfamily Machairodontinae, genera Smilodon, Homotherium, Miomachairodus etc, most famously the Smilodontini, Machairodontini (Homotherini), Metailurini, "sabre-toothed cat" (often incorrectly referred to as the sabre-toothed tiger) but now most associated with the domesticated species (Felis catus) of felines, commonly and apparently since the eight century kept as a house pet)) was from the Middle English cat & catte, from the Old English catt (male cat) & catte (female cat), from the Proto-West Germanic kattu, from the Proto-Germanic kattuz, from the Latin cattus.

Cat has most productively been applied in English to describe a wide variety of objects and states of the human condition including (1) a spiteful or angry woman (from the early thirteenth century but now almost wholly supplanted by “bitch” (often with some clichéd or imaginative modifier)), (2) An aficionado or player of jazz, (3) certain male persons (a use associated mostly with hippies or sub-set of African-American culture), (4) historic (early fifteenth century) slang for a prostitute, (5) in admiralty use, strong tackle used to hoist an anchor to the cathead of a ship, (6) in admiralty use, a truncated form of cat-o'-nine-tails (a multi-lash (not all were actually nine-tailed)) whip used by the Royal Navy et al to enforce on-board discipline), (7) in admiralty use, a sturdy merchant sailing vessel (long archaic although the use endures to describe the rather smaller "catboat", (8) as “cat & dog (cat being the trap), a archaic alternative name for the game "trap and ball", (9) the pointed piece of wood that is struck in the game of tipcat, (1) In the African-American vernacular, vulgar slang or the vagina, a vulva; the female external genitalia, (11) a double tripod (for holding a plate etc) with six feet, of which three rest on the ground, in whatever position it is placed, (12) a wheeled shelter, used in the Middle Ages as a siege weapon to allow assailants to approach enemy defenses, (13) in admiralty slang, to vomit, (14) in admiralty slang to o hoist (the anchor) by its ring so that it hangs at the cathead, (15) in computing, a program and command in the Unix operating system that reads one or more files and directs their content to the standard output (16) in the slang of computing, to dump large amounts of data on an unprepared target usually with no intention of browsing it carefully (which may have been a sardonic allusion of “to catalogue or a shortened form of catastrophic although both origins are unverified, a street name of the drug methcathinone, (17) in ballistics and for related accelerative uses, a shortened form of catapult, (18) for purposes of digital and other exercises in classification, a shortening of category, (19) an abbreviation of many words starting with “cat”) (catalytic converter, caterpillar (including as “CAT” by the manufacturer Caterpillar, maker of a variety of earth-moving and related machines)) catfish, etc, (20) any (non military-combat) caterpillar drive vehicle (a ground vehicle which uses caterpillar tracks), especially tractors, trucks, minibuses, and snow groomers.

Walk was from the Middle English walken (to move, roll, turn, revolve, toss), from the Old English wealcan (to move round, revolve, roll, turn, toss) & ġewealcan (to go, traverse) and the Middle English walkien (to roll, stamp, walk, wallow), from the Old English wealcian (to curl, roll up), all from the Proto-Germanic walkaną & walkōną (to twist, turn, roll about, full), from the primitive Indo-European walg- (to twist, turn, move).  It was cognate with the Scots walk (to walk), the Saterland Frisian walkje (to full; drum; flex; mill), the West Frisian swalkje (to wander, roam), the Dutch walken (to full, work hair or felt), the Dutch zwalken (to wander about), the German walken (to lex, full, mill, drum), the Danish valke & waulk), the Latin valgus (bandy-legged, bow-legged) and the Sanskrit वल्गति (valgati) (amble, bound, leap, dance).  It was related to vagrant and whelk and a doublet of waulk.

Walk has contributed to many idiomatic forms including (1) in colloquial legal jargon, “to walk” (to win (or avoid) a criminal court case, particularly when actually guilty, (2) as a colloquial, euphemistic, “for an object to go missing or be stolen, (3) in cricket (of the batsman), to walk off the field, as if given out, after the fielding side appeals and before the umpire has ruled; done as a matter of sportsmanship when the batsman believes he is out or when the dismissal is so blatantly obvious that the umpire’s decision is inevitable, (4) in baseball, to allow a batter to reach first base by pitching four balls (ie non-strikes), (5) to move something by shifting between two positions, as if it were walking, (6) (also as “to full”, to beat cloth to give it the consistency of felt, (6) in the slang of computer programming, to debug a routine by “walking the heap”, (7) in aviation, to operate the left and right throttles of an aircraft in alternation, (8) in employment, to leave, to resign, (9) in the now outlawed “sports” of dog & cock-fighting, to put, keep, or train (a puppy or bird) in a walk, or training area, (10) in the hospitality trade, to move a guest to another hotel if their confirmed reservation is not available at the time they arrive to check-in (also as to bump), (11) in the hospitality trade, as “walk-in”, a customer who “walks-in from the street” to book a room or table without a prior reservation, (12) in graph theory, a sequence of alternating vertices and edges, where each edge's endpoints are the preceding and following vertices in the sequence, (13) In coffee, coconut, and other plantations, the space between the rows of plants (from the Caribbean and most associated with  Belize, Guyana & Jamaica, (14) in orchids, an area planted with fruit-bearing trees, (15) in colloquial use, as “a walk in the park” or “a cakewalk”, something very easily accomplished (same as “a milk-run”) and (16) in the (now rare) slang of the UK finance industry, a cheque drawn on a bank that was not a member of the LCCS (London Cheque (check in the US) Clearance System), the sort-code of which was allocated on a one-off basis; they had to be "walked" (ie hand-delivered by messengers).

On the catwalk: Lindsay Lohan in a Heart Truth Red Dress during Olympus Fashion Week, Fall, 2006, The Tent, New York City.

How to walk like catwalk model

Traci Halvorson of Halvorson Model Management (HMM) in San Jose, California, has written a useful guide for those wishing to learn the technique of walking like a catwalk (increasingly now called the gender-neutral “runway”) model.  Although walking on a wide, stable flat surface, in a straight line with few other instructions except “don’t fall over”, doesn’t sound difficult, the art is actually a tightly defined set of parameters which not all can master.  Some models who excel at static shots and are well-known from their photographic work can’t be used on a catwalk because their gait, while within the normal human range, simply isn’t a “catwalk walk”.  It’s thus a construct, of clothes, shoes, style and even expression and catwalk models need to be adaptable, able to achieve essentially the same thing whether in 6-inch (150 mm) high stilettos or slippery-soled ballet flats; it’s harder than it sounds and as all models admit, nothing improves one’s technique like practice.

(1) The facial expression.  It sounds a strange place to start but it’s not because if the facial expression is unchanging it means it’s easier to focus on everything else, the rational being that humans use their range of facial expression to convey emotion and attitude but this all has to be neutralized to permit the photographers (paradoxically the audience is less relevant) to capture what are defined “catwalk” shots.  Set the chin to point slightly down though don’t hang the head; the angle should be almost imperceptible and it recommended to imagine an invisible string attached to the top of the head holding the chin in its set position.

(2) Do not smile.  Catwalk models do not smile because it draws attention away from the product although this does not mean looking miserable or unhappy; instead look “serious” and this usually is done by perfecting what is described as a “neutral” expression, one which would defy an observer being able to tell whether the wearer is happy or sad.  To achieve this, the single most important aspect is to keep the mouth closed in a natural position, something like what is recommended for a passport photograph and ask others to judge the look but as a note of caution, there will be failures because some girls just look sort of happy no matter what.  In most of life, this will be of advantage so a career other than the catwalk will beckon.

(3) On the catwalk, keep the eyes focused straight ahead.  This not only makes walking easier but also self-imposes a discipline which will help maintain the static facial expression.  Because the eyes are focused straight-ahead, it will stop the head moving and the look will be the desired one of alertness and purposefulness.  Some models recommend imagining a object moving in front of them and focus on that and in the situations where there’s a procession on the catwalk, it’s possible usually to fixate on some unmoving point on the model ahead.

(5) Don’t fall over.  It’s an obvious point but it does happen and usually, shoes are responsible, either because the nature of the construction has so altered the model’s centre of gravity or there's  contact between footwear and some flowing piece of fabric, either one’s own or one in the wake of the model ahead.  There is no better training to avoid “catwalk stacks” than to practice in a wide variety of shoe types.

(5) If possible, arrange a replica catwalk on which to practice, it need only to be a few paces long and arranged so the walk is towards a full-length mirror.  For side views, film using a carefully positioned camera and compare the result with footage of actual catwalk models at work.  If possible, work in pairs or a group because you’ll hone each other’s techniques but remember this is serious business and criticism will need to be frank; feelings may need to be hurt on the walk to the catwalk.

(6) Stand up straight, imagining the invisible string holding the head in place being also attached to the spine.  Keep the shoulders back but not unnaturally so, posture needs to be good but not stiff or exaggerated and a good posture can to some extent compensate for a lack of height.  Again, this needs to be practiced in front of a mirror and practice will improve the technique, the object being to stand straight while looking relaxed and comfortable.

(7) Perfecting the actual catwalk walk will take some time because, although it looks entirely natural when done by models, it’s not actually the “natural” way most people walk.  To train, begin purely mechanistically, placing one foot in front of the other and walking with (comfortably) long strides, the best trick being to mark a line on the floor with chalk and imagine walking on a rope, keeping one foot in front of the other, allowing the hips slightly to move from side to side; the classic model look.  With sufficient practice, what designers call the model’s “strut” will evolve and in conjunction with the other techniques, there’ll be a projection of assuredness and confidence.

(8) However, the hips need symmetrically and slightly to move, not swing.  Catwalk models are hired as platforms for clothes within a narrow dimensional range and this includes not only the cut of the fabric but also the extent it is required to move as the body moves and motion must not be exaggerated.  When practicing this, again it’s preferable to work in pairs or groups.

How it's done.  Catwalk models need to look good coming or going.

(9) Limit the movement of the arms when walking.  Let the arms hang at the sides with the hands relaxed, the swing of the limbs sufficient only to ensure the look is not unnaturally stylized and certainly nothing like that of most people on the street.  Many report when first practicing that there’s a tendency for the hands to clench into fists and that’s because of the discipline being imposed on other body parts but from the start, ensure the hands are relaxed, loosely cupped and with a small (natural) gap (something like ¼ inch (5-6 mm) between the fingers.  Allow the arms slightly to bend and they’ll sway (just a little) with the body.

(10) Practice specifically for the occasion.  Just as even the best tennis players have to practice on grass if they’ve just come off playing on clay or hard-courts, at least an hour before an actual catwalk session should be spent practicing in the same style of shoes as will be worn for the session(s).  This applies even if wearing something less challenging like flats because the change in weight distribution and the resultant centre of gravity is profound if the last few days have been spent in 6 inch (150 mm) heels.     

(11) Practice with different types of music because the catwalk walk really is an exercise in rhythm and if one can find a piece which really suits and makes the walk easier to perfect, if it’s possible to imagine that while on the catwalk, that’s good although sometimes there’s music at the shows and not all can focus on what’s in the head while excluding what’s coming through the speakers.

Traci Halvorson's instructions were of course aimed at neophytes wishing to learn the basic technique but among established models there are variations and the odd stake of the individualistic, the most eye-catching of which is the "fierce strut", a usually fast-paced and aggressive march down the catwalk while still using the classic one-foot-in-front-of-the-other motif which so defines the industry.  It's thus not quite Nazi-style goose-stepping or even the hybrid step used most enthusiastically by the female soldiers in the DPRK (North Korean) military but it's clearly strutting with intent.

Recent fierce struts on the catwalk (runway).