Cannon

Cannon (pronounced kan-uhn)

(1) In ordnance, heavy artillery: a mounted gun for firing heavy projectiles; a gun, howitzer, or mortar,

(2) In machinery, a heavy tube or drum, especially one that can rotate freely on the shaft by which it is supported (also known as a quill).

(3) In armor, a cylindrical or semi-cylindrical piece of plate armor for the upper arm or forearm; a vambrace or rerebrace (the avant-bras in French and sometimes known as lower cannons in the Middle Ages).

(4) In saddlery, as cannon bit or canon bit, the part of a bit in the horse's mouth.

(5) In the design of bells, the metal loop at the top of a bell, from which it is hung.

(6) In zoology, as the cannon bone or the part of the leg in which the cannon bone is located.

(7) In billiards, a British term for a carom (a shot in which the cue ball is caused to contact one object ball after another); the points scored by this; a rebound or bouncing back, as of a ball off a wall.

(8) In underworld slang, a pickpocket (archaic).

1375–1425: From the late Middle English canon, from the earlier Anglo-Latin and Anglo-French canon, from the Italian cannone (large-tube barrel), the construct being cann(a) (tube) + -one (the augmentative suffix).  The Ancient Greek κάννα (kánna) (reed) was from the Akkadian qanû (reed), from the Sumerian gi.na; a doublet of canyon.  The original meaning was an "artillery piece, mounted gun for throwing projectiles by force of gunpowder" the spelling canon in a variety of languages all from the Italian cannone, augmentative of the Latin canna but the use of the double -n- spelling didn’t emerge until circa 1800.  Cannon is a noun and the plural is cannons but, in military use, when speaking of cannons collectively (especially when assembled in a battery), cannon is often used.

The artillery piece revolutionised warfare, the famous walls which for centuries had protected Constantinople were breached soon after cannon were first deployed and the city fell.  The weapon also influenced language.  Cannon fodder, first noted in 1847, describes the infantry or cavalry deployed against cannon-fire and exists in German as kanonenfutter, echoing William Shakespeare's (1564–1616) “food for gun powder” speech in Henry IV, Part 1 (circa 1596), Act 4 Scene 2) where Falstaff dismisses concern for his soldiers by saying they’re “good enough to toss; food for powder, food for powder. They’ll fill a pit as well as better”.  Cannon-shot (distance a cannon will throw a ball) is from the 1570s and was an important measure in admiralty and (embryonic) international law, the old three-mile (and the later twelve-mile) maritime limits of national borders reflect the range of shore-based cannons at various times.  It was used also from the 1590s to describe the iron-ball fired from a weapon but this by the 1660s came to be replaced by cannon-ball.  A cannonade (a continued discharge of artillery) is from the 1650s as a noun and as a verb (attack with artillery), a decade later.  The contemporary French was cannonade and the Italian cannonata, the related forms being cannonaded and cannonading.  Cannonade was exclusively a army term which was later replace by barrage; the Admiralty always preferred broadside.

The figurative “loose cannon” seems to have be popularised from its appearance in Victor Hugo's (1802–1885) late Ninety Three (1874) to describe someone “wildly irresponsible, unpredictable or freed from usual restraint", based on the literal sense of dread sailors on old warships felt when a cannon already primed to fire became detached from its mounts and began rolling about the deck.  When a loose cannon discharges, bloody carnage can ensue. 

Naval Cannons

USS Iowa firing nine-gun broadside in an August 1984 test-firing during the sea-trials conducted after being recommissioned as part of the military build-up ordered during Ronald Reagan's (1911-2004, US president 1981-1989) first term.

The US Navy’s four Iowa-class battleships, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin & New Jersey (the commissioned Illinois and Kentucky were never launched because of the changing nature of naval warfare) were the last battleships used in US fleets, all other dreadnoughts & super-dreadnoughts decommissioned by 1947 and when finally retired, they had for three decades been the last battleships afloat.  Noted for their longevity, their service variously lasting (including periods in reserve) from 1943 until 1992, they’re among the best-remembered battleships but they were neither the biggest (and certainly not the widest, the beam at around 108 feet (33 m) dictated by the need to pass through the Panama Canal) nor the most heavily gunned.  The Iowas were built with nine 16 inch (406 mm) naval cannons in three 3-gun turrets and could fire both high explosive and armour-piercing shells around 23 nautical miles (27.6 miles; 44.5 km).  A novel later innovation was an adaptation of the W19 nuclear artillery shell was adapted to suit the 16-inch bore.  With a yield of 15 to 20 kilotons of TNT (roughly the same as the A-bomb used against Nagasaki), they remain the world's largest nuclear artillery although, because of the Pentagon’s policy of refusing to confirm or deny the presence of nuclear weaponry aboard its ships, it’s unknown if any of the shells were ever carried while the ships were in active service.  Like the US Marine Corps (USMC), the navy was never much enthused at the prospect of nuclear weapons being carried by the surface fleet, regarding the weapons as ideally suited to submarines.  The entire US nuclear artillery inventory was later decommissioned and (officially) dismantled.

Yamato, 1944.

The Imperial Japanese Navy’s Yamato-class battleships, Yamato and Musashi, in service between 1942-1945, were bigger and heavier than the Iowas and also used bigger cannons, each having nine 18.1 inch (460 mm) guns in three triple turrets with a shell-range of 26 miles (42 km).  The big guns had been considered for the Iowas during the design process but were sacrificed as part of the speed/range/armour/firepower compromise which naval architects have to apply to every warship.  Interestingly, for a variety of reasons, even the Iowa's never-built successors (the Montana-class), maintained the 16-inch armament, designed around twelve cannons arrayed in four 3-gun turrets.

German conceptual H-45 battleship.

Before reality bit hard, Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; Führer (leader) and German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) left physics to the engineers and wasn't too bothered by economics.  After being disappointed the proposals the successors to the Bismarck-class ships would have their main armament increased only from eight 15-inch (380 mm) to eight 16 inch cannons, he ordered OKM (Oberkommando der Marine; the Naval High Command) to design bigger ships.  That directive emerged as the ambitious Plan Z which would have demanded so much steel, essentially nothing else in the Reich could have been built.  Although not one vessel in Plan Z ever left the slipway (the facilities even to lay down the keels non-existent), such a fleet would have been impressive, the largest (the H-44) fitted with eight 20-inch (508 mm) cannons.  Even more to the Führer’s liking was the concept of the H-45, equipped with eight 31.5 inch (800 mm) Gustav siege guns.  However, although he never lost faith in the key to success on the battlefield being bigger and bigger tanks, the experience of surface warfare at sea convinced Hitler the days of the big ships were over and he would even try to persuade the navy to retire all their capital ships and devote more resources to the submarines which, as late as 1945, he hoped might still prolong the war.  Had he imposed such priorities in 1937-1938 so the German Navy could have entered World War II (1939-1945) with the ability permanently to have 100 submarines engaged in high-seas raiding rather than barely a dozen, the early course of the war might radically have been different.

Clergy

Clergy (pronounced klur-jee)

The group or body of ordained persons in a religion, as distinguished from the laity (the non-ordained); applied especially within Christendom.

1175–1225: From the Middle English clerge & clergie from the Old French clergé (learned men) from the Late Latin clericātus (office of a priest) from clericalis & clēricus (one ordained for religious services), from the Ancient Greek κληρικός (klērikós) (of the clergy).  It’s from the Old French clergie (from clerc) in the sense of “learned men, skilled in the arts of erudition, writing and transcription” that the modern English clerk evolved, the meaning "pertaining to clerks and copyists" dating from 1798.  Clericalism sacerdotalism (power or influence of the clergy) is from 1849, very much in the spirit of the European revolutions of 1848; clericality (quality of being clerical) is from the 1650s.  Clergy, clergyman, clergywoman and (the very modern) clergy person are nouns and the adjectives adjectives clergylike, anticlergy and proclergy (all sometimes hyphenated) were in well-known during the centuries when church and secular forces contested control of British and European; the noun plural is clergies.

The legal doctrine benefit of clergy was formalised first in the 1510s and was the exemption of ecclesiastics from certain criminal processes before secular judges although in England it had been first recognized in 1274; over time it was gradually restricted being abolished finally in 1827.  Special deals for English clergy were nothing new.  The Rosetta Stone, the granodiorite stele created in Egypt in 196 BC and re-discovered in 1799 (which became the key to deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphs) included a degree granting tax-breaks to clergy, rights which in various jurisdictions persist to this day.

Clergyman was a familiar term from the thirteenth century but the more rare clergywoman was unknown until the 1670s and then just as a general descriptor of nuns.  It wasn’t until 1871 it could refer to a "woman pastor, woman of the clerical profession" but in between, it was used humorously (and disparagingly) about the domineering wife of a clergyman, an idea Anthony Trollope (1815-1882) used to great comic effect when writing of the bishop’s wife in the Chronicles of Barsetshire (1855-1867).  Clergess (member of a female religious order) was attested from the late fourteenth century; clergy-feme (clergyman's wife or woman) was first noted in the 1580s.

Church of England (and worldwide Anglican) clergy

A clergyman.  Cosmo Gordon Lang (1864–1945), Archbishop of Canterbury (1928–1942).

In the Anglican Church, there are in excess of two-dozen titles before one even reaches then levels of the right reverend and very reverend gentlemen but despite the extraordinary proliferation of styles and titles within the Anglican clergy, under canon law, there are but three types of ordained person: a bishop, a priest, and a deacon.  With very few exceptions, the people who hold other offices and titles will always be (1) a bishop, (2) a priest or (3) a deacon, with their other title(s) overlaid atop their primary appointment.  There doesn't seem to be any theological justification for all this ecclesiastical bureaucratization but as those who study organizational behavior have often noted, structures once established can quickly become established tradition and assume their own inertia.

Bishop

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to oversee the work of a group of congregations and the priests & Deacons who serve them; that group of congregations is called a diocese.  Only a bishop may ordain persons to the order of deacon and priest; only a bishop may also ordain (also called a consecration) another bishop, but must do so in the company of other bishops and a bishop must have been previously have been ordained a priest.  In the Church of England, twenty-six bishops (The Lords Spiritual) sit by historic right in the House of Lords, the UK parliament’s upper house.

Priest

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to preside at gatherings around the Lord’s Table (the Holy Communion) and to extend assurance of God’s forgiveness to those who truly repent of their sins.  A person who is a priest must previously have been ordained as a deacon, and continues to be a deacon throughout his or her life as a priest.  A few churches now use presbyter for this order.

Feminist Lindsay Lohan in habit with Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum in Machete (2010), makes a persuasive case for the ordination of women in the Roman Catholic Church.  In the Anglican communion, there are now even women bishops although some reactionary dioceses such as Sydney restrict women to the diaconate (ie deacons) where they may assist "real" priests although their exact role can vary between parishes.  The Sydney diocese, where there's still a hankering for popery, refuses to ordain women as priests and bishops.

Deacon

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to proclaim the Gospel, assist at the Holy Communion, and to call the church, by word and example, to its ministry of service and healing.

Archbishop

A bishop who presides over several dioceses in a large region, a position which includes some supervisory responsibilities over both dioceses and bishops in that region.  In the Church of England, the Archbishop of Canterbury is the (nominal and spiritual) head of the worldwide Anglican Communion.

Archdeacon

A member of the clergy appointed to assist the bishop in certain administrative and pastoral duties in a diocese.  An archdeacon may administer a district comprising a group of parishes which is usually known as an Archdeaconry.  Despite the name, there is now no direct connection with the order of deacon, and an archdeacon is generally one of the priests of a diocese.  The position and title normally expires upon resignation or retirement, although certain retired archdeacons in good standing with their bishop often retain the title.

Aspirant

A person who has indicated to the bishop that he or she hopes to be ordained and is in the preliminary interview process.  Once the bishop has formally accepted their candidacy, the person is called a postulant.

Bishop-elect

A person chosen to become a bishop, but not yet consecrated; the word elect simply means chosen.  Anglican bishops are selected by a variety of means: some are elected by the clergy and laity of the diocese where they will serve, but some are selected by a specially-constituted committee (often called an Electoral College).  In England, historically, bishops were personal appointments by the monarch; now the sovereign appoints on the recommendation of the prime minister.  This process has not been without the odd hiccup.  Once, Lord Salisbury (1903; UK prime minister for thirteen years variously 1885-1902), as was the usual practice, received from the Archbishop of Canterbury the name of the two clergymen he had considered for appointment to a vacant bishopric.  Unfortunately, the spellings of the two names were similar and the prime-minister inadvertently sent to the palace the wrong name.  After the gentleman was enthroned he was informed of the error and remarked: "Oh, I daresay he will do just as well".     

Canon

Canon is an honorary title conferred upon a member of the clergy (and some lay persons) for faithful and valuable service to the church.  The standard joke in church circles is it's hard to find men of sufficient calibre to fulfil the role and once appointed, they should never be fired.

Chaplain

A member of the clergy whose employment is not in a parish or congregation, but who undertakes pastoral care and organizes worship services within a non-religious organization such as a school, hospital or the military.  There are a few special appointments where a chaplain may be a spiritual advisor and personal assistant to a bishop or a monarch.

Coadjutor

A bishop who has been appointed to assist a diocesan bishop.  Generally, a Coadjutor automatically becomes Diocesan in his or her own right, upon the retirement or resignation of the person currently in that office.

Commissary

A person appointed to exercise the administrative functions of a bishop, when the actual bishop is away from the diocese or otherwise indisposed.  A commissary may not perform any of the spiritual functions of a bishop, such as ordinations and the appointment is inherently temporary, the role expiring immediately upon the bishop’s return.

Curate

A deacon or a priest who functions as an assistant or subordinate to the Incumbent of a parish.  The word curate refers to the cure or care of souls, and while the word does suggest a primary and senior responsibility (indeed, in a French-speaking Roman Catholic Church the senior priest of a parish is called a curé), in the Anglican Church, a curate is always an assistant.

Dean

The most common meaning of this word in Anglicanism is “a priest who is the Incumbent of a cathedral, and the most senior priest of a diocese (under the bishop)”.  This title is not to be confused with academic deans and there are other Anglican officials with dean in their titles (such as Regional or District Dean) and their most familiar role is as the administrative heads of cathedrals.

Diocesan

A bishop in charge of a Diocese and it’s correct to say either the Diocesan or the diocesan bishop when referring to this office.  The Diocesan may also be referred to as the Ordinary.

Honorary (somethings)

An Honorary Assistant or Honorary Curate (and a few other variants) indicates an ordained person who functions as one of the clergy in a parish, but does so on a voluntary basis.  He or she may have other employment, or be retired from full-time paid ministry, but will preach, preside, or do pastoral care in the parish without receiving a living wage for it. The position is almost always official, formally designated as such by licence or certificate from the Bishop.  In this, honorary appointments in the church essentially mirror academic practice.

Father

Father is not actually a title, simply a form of address, a kind of courtesy title.

Incumbent

A technical term for a member of the clergy who has primary administrative, pastoral, and liturgical responsibilities in a parish or congregation.  Despite its official nature, this term is seldom used in conversation, and is often unknown among ordinary church members, who will usually refer to their Incumbent as the Rector.

Lay Canon

A non-ordained person who is given the honorary title of Canon, usually as a form of recognition for their leadership in some aspect of the church’s life.

Metropolitan

An archbishop who presides over a region of the church which may include several dioceses, bishops, and even archbishops; second only to a Primate in authority and responsibility.  Some Metropolitans are also Primates, and are officially described as Primate and Metropolitan.

Ministry Developer

In congregations and districts where the traditional clergy tasks (preaching, pastoral care, presiding etc) are divided up and done on a voluntary basis by different individuals (some ordained, some laity), the team leader is often given the title Ministry Developer.  This person is most often ordained and seminary trained, but need not be, provided only that he or she is good at enabling teamwork and communicating a rich sense of the church’s mission.

Ordinand

A person in the process of being ordained; preparation having been accomplished, the title exists only on the day of ordination.  Before, during, and after the liturgy, the brand new deacon or priest is correctly called an ordinand.

Ordinary

In a diocese or jurisdiction where there are a number of bishops, one of them always holds primary authority, and is called the Diocesan or, in some jurisdictions, the Ordinary (always with an uppercase O).  The etymology of ordinary in this context is murky but may relate to this person’s responsibility for deciding who gets ordained.

In the Anglican Church of Canada, a bishop who directs Anglican chaplains in the armed forces is also called the Bishop Ordinary.  This person is not assigned to any particular diocese and the duties of a Bishop Ordinary cross many diocesan and even national boundaries.

Parson

This is now an almost colloquial term applied to a member of the Anglican clergy.  Historically, in England it was an official designation for a salaried priest in charge of a parish.  The word derives from the Latin persona from which also is derived the very generic “person.”

Pastor

Although not a formal title in the Anglican Communion, some clergy find it acceptable, because it’s more widely understood than Rector or Incumbent.  Pastor means shepherd, and is quite suitable to use for any priest who has pastoral responsibilities.

Postulant

A person who has been accepted by the bishop as a candidate for ordination and is in the process of being trained.

Prebendary

An honorary canon, a title used almost exclusively in the UK.  Historically, in England, a prebendary was a member of the clerical staff of a cathedral or collegiate church; a paid position whose income derived from specially allocated rents of land administered by that church, the properties generating such rents was called a prebend.  Although prebend-based income is now rare (some claim it’s extinct) the honorary title of prebendary is still England.

Precentor

A person, usually a member of the clergy, who is responsible for organizing the liturgy and music of a large church (such as a great cathedral).

Presbyter

Another word for priest, both from the Ancient Greek πρεσβυτερος (presbuteros) (church elder).  There are dense theological arguments surrounding these words and while all official Anglican documents and ordination liturgies use priest, there are some places in the church which use presbyter to refer to this order, the second of the three basic Anglican orders.

Priest-in-Charge

A person who has the responsibilities and duties of an Incumbent, but on a temporary basis, the appointment always at the discretion of the bishop.

Primate

A bishop who presides over the Anglican Church in a large region, or even in an entire country.  There will be many dioceses, bishops, and occasionally some archbishops under a primate’s supervision.  The person who holds a comparable position in Scotland is called Primus and, in the US, the equivalent position is the Presiding Bishop.

Provost

Provost has many meanings in English, used also to refer to military police or the principal of a university college.  When applied to a member of the Anglican clergy, the word refers to a priest who is the Incumbent of a cathedral church.  The more common word for this position is Dean, but in Scotland, Kenya and some smaller countries, the correct title is Provost.

Rector

A priest who has primary administrative, pastoral, and liturgical responsibilities in a parish or congregation; similar to and sometimes identical with an Incumbent.  Some heads of academic schools are also called Rector but such officials need not be ordained, or connected with the church.

Regional bishop

A bishop in a large diocese who is one of several bishops, each having oversight over a specific geographic area of parishes and clergy within that diocese.  This person may be a coadjutor or a suffragan, or even the Diocesan.  Technically, regional bishops can function anywhere within the diocese, but they have a closer relationship with and more detailed knowledge of their particular district.

Regional Dean

A priest who has some pastoral and administrative oversight of a small group of parishes or congregations.  This position has less weight than that of an archdeacon, so there can be several regional deans in an archdeacon’s area of responsibility.  A regional dean is generally an Incumbent of one of the parishes in his or her Deanery.  The titles Rural Dean and District Dean refer to exactly the same function and of the three Rural Dean is probably the oldest but is falling from use as the worldwide trend of urbanisation continues.

Suffragan

A bishop who has been appointed to assist a diocesan bishop (the Ordinary).  In contrast to the position of Coadjutor, a Suffragan is not automatically the Diocesan’s successor.

Transitional Diaconate

A category of clergy who are ordained deacon in preparation for being ordained priest.  Clergy in the transitional diaconate tend to spend up to a year serving as deacons, after which ordination to the priesthood takes place following further review and inquiry.

Vicar

This has slightly different meanings in various parts of the Anglican world.  In England, a vicar is a salaried parish priest whereas in the US, they’re a priest responsible either for a mission or for an institutional chapel (a mission is a congregation that is either recently founded, or is not capable of being financially self-sustaining; a chapel is a place of worship in a hospital, or an airport, or a government building).  In many places the word vicar can be used for a priest who is acting in behalf of a senior official who is not present (similar to the English word, vicarious). 

Vocational Diaconate

A category of clergy ordained as deacons who intend to remain so for the rest of their lives, without being further ordained to the priesthood.  The role exists to provide for those who feel their vocation to be that of ministry and service, rather than presiding.

Anathema

Anathema (pronounced uh-nath-uh-muh)

(1) Something or someone that one vehemently dislikes.

(2) A formal ecclesiastical curse by a leader or governing council of a church, excommunicating a person or denouncing a doctrine.

(3) A person or thing accursed or consigned to damnation or destruction.

(4) A technical definition of any imprecation of divine punishment.

(5) A curse or execration.

1520s: From the Middle English, from the Church Latin anathema (an excommunicated person or the curse of excommunication) derived from Greek anathema (a thing accursed; dedicated to evil, from anatithenai (to dedicate).  Interestingly, the original meaning was "a thing devoted" (literally "a thing set up” (to the gods)).  The construct was ana (up) + tithenai ("to place").  It was originally a votive offering but by the time it reached Latin, the meaning had progressed through "thing devoted to evil," to "thing accursed or damned" and the meaning in the Ancient Greek term was influenced by the Hebrew herem, leading to the sense of "accursed", especially in religious matters.  In later ecclesiastical use, it became applied to persons, institutions and even ideas as a Divine Curse; the technical, legal meaning of “a formal act or formula of consigning to damnation” dating from the 1610s.  One mistake which has endured for centuries is the use of maranatha, taken as an intensified form.  It’s a misreading of the Syriac maran etha "the Lord hath come", which follows anathema in scripture (I Corinthians 16:22) but is no way connected and the error persists because of the large number of references in medieval texts, written by scribes who for years duplicated the original error.  Anathema is a noun, anathematic & anathematical are adjectives, anathematization & anathematizer are nouns, anathematize is a verb and anathematically is an adverb; the noun plural is plural anathemata (because of the special history, the form anathemas is not an alternative).

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011.

Historically, in the early Christian church, the issue of an anathema signified an exclusion from the community of the faithful on grounds of heresy.  By the late medieval period, canon lawyers had developed a distinction between anathema and excommunication, apparently because of the need for technical devices in the handling of actual heretics (permanently to be excluded from communion) and those behaving badly (subject to a kind of ecclesiastical sin-bin, those punished able to be re-admitted to reception of the sacraments upon repenting).  In the west, the 1917 Roman Code of Canon Law abandoned the distinction between major and minor excommunication but in the east, the Orthodox maintained the rule, something confirmed by Bartholomew I (Dimitrios Arhondonis (b 1940); Ecumenical Patriarch of Constantinople since 1991) as recently as 2021.  The current (1983) Code of Canon Law does not contain the word anathema but documents of anathema continue to be issued by Orthodox Patriarchs, the most dramatic of which were those around the great disputes within Russian Orthodoxy after the 1917 Russian revolutions.

The Latin forms, for those who think English formations are difficult.

Simony

Simony (pronounced sahy-muh-nee or sim-uh-nee)

(1) The making of profit out of sacred things.

(2) In Christianity, the practice, now usually regarded as a sin, of buying or selling spiritual or ecclesiastical benefits such as pardons, relics, benefices or preferments.

The buying or selling of spiritual or sacred things, such as ecclesiastical offices, pardons, or consecrated objects.

1175–1225: From the Middle English & the twelfth century Old French simonie (selling of church offices; the sin of buying or selling sacred things), from the Late Latin simōnia (from Simon Magus (Σίμων ὁ μάγος in Greek, Simon Magvs in Latin), the Samaritan sorcerer (magician) who was rebuked by Peter when he tried to buy the power of conferring the Holy Spirit (Acts 8:9-24)).  The nouns simoniak & simoner (the alternative spelling was simonier) (one who practices simony) appear in documents around the turn of the fifteenth century but there’s no evidence the adverb simoniacally was in use before the mid-1700s.  Simony, simonist, simoner & simonism are nouns, simoniac is a noun & adjective, simonient is an adjective and simoniacally is an adverb; the noun plural is simonies.

Acts 8:9-24: Origin of the Church’s ban on outsourcing.

18: And when Simon saw that through laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money.

19: Saying, give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.

20: But Peter said unto him, thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.

Simon Magus, known also as Simon the Sorcerer, was one of many magicians and, with competition fierce in a crowded market, he sought to increase his stock of magic tricks, gaining thereby a comparative advantage.  What he really wanted was to be thought of as one who, by laying on of hands, could make people feel filled with the Holy Spirit (the presence of the Lord), then a desired thing.

Saint Peter to Simon the Sorcerer: "Just don't do it; just say no."

When Simon Magus saw Peter and John deliver the presence by the laying of their on baptized believers, he offered money if they would confer on him the same power.  The pious pair were aghast at the idea one could buy the gift of God and urged Simon to repent so God might forgive him.  Hearing these words made Simon fearful and he pleaded with them to pray that nothing bad would befall him.  Whether Simon was truly repentant is never made clear although he did not immediately die so God did not at once smite him in his wrath.  Others were not so fortunate but Simon was the first heretic named in the New Testament and ever since, the Church has insisted on its monopoly in matters spiritual.  However, later popes, bishops and other clergy, while noting the the ruling of Peter & John as conferring on them exclusivity of supply in such matters, their interpretation didn't extend to banning profit from the business, something which would come to have profound consequences for Church and state. 

Compared with the unfortunate Ananias and Sapphira, Simon got off lightly.  In the Book of Acts (4:32), it’s recorded the early Christian disciples did not think of their possessions as their own but as the property of the collective to be used in the name of the Lord (not now a popular piece of scripture among the more materialist Christians).  Were money received by one, it belonged to all the apostles and were one to be found cheating, there were consequences and of course there had to be because, theologically, not only was the miscreant cheating others in the clergy, they were stealing from God Himself.  In Acts (5:1-11), it’s recounted that Ananias and his wife Sapphira sold their land but, when handing the proceeds to Peter, Anania kept some of the money for himself (the modern term in the study of governance & corruption in the distribution of foreign aid would be "siphoning").

5 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.

3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.

A salutary warning then, rather untypical of the New Testament, something more in the spirit of the vengeful God of the Old and it remains one of the passages in scripture most of modern Christianity prefers to ignore.  The endorsement of the death penalty often attracts little criticism but the notion of sharing with others one’s capital gains from the real-estate market would likely have little appeal to the many in evangelical congregations, although, given the corporate structure, the richer of the clergy might see some attraction.

The story has long been a struggle for theologians.  Although a injunction against lying is not one of the ten commandments (although it seems implied in (8) You shall not steal & (9) You shall not bear false witness), it wasn't explicitly prohibited although Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead simply for conspiring to lie; that would seem unfair for on the night Christ was tried, Peter himself lied three times yet was not thrice struck dead and anyway, as Peter acknowledged, they were under no obligation to donate the money.  It might then seem difficult to see just what was the sin so heinous that both deserved to die but theologians most often hint at something Aristotle might have called honor, what the social media marketing experts might call the quality of authenticity.  The transgression of Ananias and Sapphira was seeking the honor of their community in a manner dishonorable, shaming themselves as mere counterfeits; phoneys.  It was not the money which mattered, it was the fake news and, as Peter said, that news came from Satan for Satan had filled (to “the brim” in some translations) the heart of Ananias.  So, it's no great theological leap to see in their conduct as transgressions of (8) You shall not steal and (2) You shall not make any idols to worship (in that money had become an object of veneration).

La Mort de Saphire (The Death of Sapphira (1652)), oil on canvas by Nicolas Poussin (1594–1665).

People lie all the time and God does not smite them in his wrath but while all men might be equal before God, not all communities are equal.  When people lie to others in their community they are lying to others, to themselves and before God; it is a sin and one day they shall be judged.  But among the disciples of Christ himself, there can be no lies for to lie there is to lie about the work of the Holy Spirit and to speak that lie to God.  There can be only one consequence and that must be death.  It's a warning to those with the conceit to seek pre-eminence among the people of God, careerists seeking recognition, influence and power in God’s Church which is wrong for it is God alone who takes us into His Church (John 6:44, 65) and Him alone who elevates and ordains individuals to offices within (1 Corinthians 12:18, 28; Ephesians 4:11); as in all things, "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21).  The vainglory of the self-aggrandizement of Ananias and Sapphira was the work of the mind and nature of Satan (Isaiah 14:13-14; Ezekiel 28:17) and was what made the couple willing instruments in the execution of his purposes.  Structuralists draw from the story a lesson about the authority of the hierarchical clergy and the nature of the institution of the Church.  Theologians writing their apologia (which seem always emphasise that Peter must be absolved of any responsibility) conclude the message is in everything we do we must love our neighbors as ourselves and seek not to accrue wealth, status and power.

In the early medieval church the legal position was unambiguous so the spirit was strong, even if the flesh of priests was sometimes weak, accusations of simony not uncommon, something encouraged presumably by the increasingly obvious wealth of not a few clergy.  In reaction, canon law banned what had become revenue streams derived from the supply of what had once been simple orders of service performed for events such as blessings or baptism.  Over the years many canons and edicts reinforced the sanctions, something necessitated by priests being good “black letter law” practitioners, eager to spot loopholes and eyes of needles through which money could pass.  Even papal bulls addressed the matter though it was a time of low literacy and distant channels of communications, things which helped imaginative priests hone their business model.  Famously, Gregory I (circa 540–604; usually styled Saint Gregory the Great, pope 590-604) condemned such transactions as “a simoniac heresy” but the problem was not the state of law but the efficiency of its enforcement, a familiar complaint in the modern secular world.

Despite it all, by the ninth and tenth centuries, simony had become so entrenched in the ecclesiastical structure that the very economy of the Church may have been dependent on the practices and in the eyes of the population, presumably was an accepted part of theology.  The more austere canon lawyers however found it disturbing and by the eleventh century, one of the debates between them concerned the issue of whether a priest who had gained his office by a simonical transaction (ie purchased it from a bishop) could be said to be validly ordained and this was not merely a tiresome technical point argued between lawyers: if an ordination was invalid, did this invalidate the legal effect of the rituals he’d since performed?  If so, were some marriages null & void, couples living in sin and unknowingly producing illegitimate children?  Were their baptisms valid or were there many unbaptised heathens?  That was bad enough but if so, would those who had died (and there would have been many), on that basis be sent not to Heaven but instead burn in Hell (discussions of some less unpleasant alternatives such as Limbo were not then well advanced)?

It was during the pontificate of Gregory IX (circa 1150-1241; pope 1227-1241) the sanctions were codified and it was done with a legal sledgehammer.  In issuing the Corpus Juris Canonici (literally “Body of Canon Law”) in 1234, Gregory provided the document which would provide the framework for the Church’s canon law for over 700 years and although subject to frequent refinement, it would not be replaced until 1917.  As a part of this, the matter of simony was dealt with in what might now be called “an omnibus provision”, the definitional basis for the offence so wide that just about any transaction “involving consideration” (ie money or some other benefit) might be caught in its net.

Canto XVIII, part of the eighth circle of Hell, in Divine Comedy (circa 1494), illustrated by Sandro Botticelli (Alessandro di Mariano di Vanni Filipepi; circa 1445–1510).

It’s said to have had a great reforming influence but of course the problem shifted shape rather than going away and in the fourteenth century, Dante Alighieri (circa 1265–1321) in Divina Commedia (Divine Comedy (circa 1310-1321)) detailed (not without glee) the fate of avaricious simoniacs including “clergymen, and popes and cardinals” who, dammed for “fraud” would be cast into the eighth circle of Hell, a hot, fiery place where they’d have ended up trapped for eternity in a flaming tomb, the frequent punishments including being whipped by demons, immersed in excrement and transformed into reptiles:

Rapacious ones, who take the things of God,
that ought to be the brides of Righteousness,
and make them fornicate for gold and silver!
The time has come to let the trumpet sound
for you;

Ever if not scared of lawyers, from the most humble monk to the pope himself, priests were scared of going to Hell so Dante’s words may have had some effect, even though he wrote in common Italian rather than Latin.  The lure of money though proved strong and although the sale of “indulgences” (essentially God’s forgiveness, often in bulk) was not the sole inspiration for the movement which led to the sixteenth century Protestant Reformation, it was probably the most celebrated and an indication of the way corruption tends to be hydra-headed, difficult to suppress and probably impossible to eradicate.  Still, it was the framework of canon law which provided the basis for the structures the Church of England would adopt to stamp out simony and it’s not hard to see traces of it in many of the anti-corruption statutes and institutions which exist today in many Western states.

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011.