Concierge

Concierge (pronounced kon-see-airzh or kawn-syerzh (French))

(1) A person who has charge of the entrance of a building and is sometimes the owner's representative; a doorkeeper.  Historically, the role is most associated with residential buildings in large French cities but the role is increasingly common in both residential and commercial buildings in many countries.

(2) A member of a hotel staff in charge of certain services for guests including (1) those provided for a fee by third parties including securing tickets for the theatre, tours or other entertainment, taxis, airport transfers etc and (2) internal hotel matters such as baggage handling, delivering and collecting laundry, providing directions etc.  Many do offer certain services such as hire-cars (and most famously prostitution) on the basis of secret commissions.

(3) An employee stationed in an apartment house lobby who screens visitors, controls operation of elevators, accepts deliveries to the tenants, etc.

(4) A custodian or warden of a prison (obsolete).

(5) As concierge medicine (also known as retainer medicine), pertaining to or being medical care for which the patient pays the doctor an annual fee, either for special or additional services or to guarantee priority attention when required.

(6) A synonym of conciergerie or concergius (obsolete).

(7) As shopping concierge, a part of the gig-economy which offers personal assistance in shopping in a particular area, additionally providing services (such as international shipping) which may not be offered by a retailer.  Shopping concierges charge usually either by time or a percentage of the transactions effected (or a combination of both) and it's assumed secret commissions are also paid by retailers.  In an informal sense, the idea has been extended to the finance sector where concierge is sometimes used as slang to describe brokers.

1640-1650: From the twelfth century French concierge (caretaker, doorkeeper of a hotel, apartment house, prison etc; porter of uncertain origin.   It may have been from the Old French cumserges, which may be from the Vulgar Latin conservius, from the Latin conservus (fellow slave), an assimilated form, the construct being con- (from com-) (with, together) + serviēns, present participle of servīre (to serve) and related both to servius (slave) and the modern “serve”.  The con- prefix was from the Middle English con-, from the Latin con-, from the preposition cum (with), from the Old Latin com, from the Proto-Italic kom, from the primitive Indo- European ḱóm (next to, at, with, along).  It was cognate with the Proto-Germanic ga- (co-), the Proto-Slavic sъ(n) (with) and the Proto-Germanic hansō.  It was used with certain words to add a notion similar to those conveyed by with, together, or joint or with certain words to intensify their meaning.  Servus was from the Proto-Italic serwos (guardian), from the primitive Indo-European serwos (guardian) which may be related to ser- (watch over, protect); it was cognate with servō and the Avestan haraiti (he heeds, protects).  In Latin, over the years, servus (genitive servī, feminine serva) could be used to mean servant, serf or slave.  The suggestion, attributed to nineteenth century French novelists, that concierge is a contraction of comte des cierges (a servant responsible for maintaining the lighting and cleanliness of medieval palaces (literally “count of candles”) is considered a figment of the literary imagination.  Like English, some languages (such as German and Portuguese adopted the French spelling while others produced variants including the Catalan conserge, the Russian консье́рж (konsʹjérž), the Serbo-Croatian консијерж (konsijerž) and the Spanish conserje.  Concierge is a noun; the noun plural is concierges.

In historic documents, concierge appears sometimes to be a synonym for a number of roles but many of these are historically (and sometimes geographically) specific including castle-keeper, lodge-keeper of a château and jailor (or keeper) in a prison.  Even in modern use, there’s some overlap in function and a caretaker, custodian or janitor will perform some of the roles associated with a concierge but not all.  The greatest degree of overlap occurs in city hotels, the larger having clear distinctions between the duties undertaken by commissioners (doormen), porters and a concierge proper but these demarcations blur or disappear in smaller operations.  Concierge can be a concept as well as an individual, some hotels having concierge departments but staffing them without using anyone with the exact title.  In the France of L'Ancien Régime, the title was once attached to a high royal official of the household.  When the spellings (the original Latinized forms) were concergius or concergerius, the role was that of the guardian of a house or castle and in the later middle ages it came to be used for the court official who acted as the custodian of a royal palace.  In Paris, circa 1360, as the Palais de la Cité ceased to be a royal residence and became the seat of the courts of justice, the Conciergerie was turned into a prison, an institution for which L'Ancien Régime sometimes had great need. As late as the year leading up to World War I (1914-1918), in Europe it was common for a hotel's concierge to be referred to as a a "Suisse", reflecting the frequency with which men from Switzerland filled the role.

The Secret Society of the Les Clefs d’Or

Escutcheon of the Secret Society of the Les Clefs d'Or.

The Secret Society of the Les Clefs d’Or is the international organization of hotel lobby concierges.  Now with chapters in many countries, it was registered originally in Paris in 1929 as the Union Internationale des Concierges d'Hôtels (UICH) and this identity was maintained formally until 1995 when, at the 42^nd International Congress held in Sydney, Australia, a resolution was passed changing the name to Union Internationale des Clefs d'Or (UICO).  The international membership now exceeds 4000.  Properly pronounced as lay-clay-door, the literal translation from French is keys of gold, reflected in their membership symbol, most frequently seen as the twinned lapel pins worn by members, something remarkably similar to the escutcheon of the Holy See and neither the Vatican nor the Les Clefs d’Or has ever denied that a relationship may exist.  To become a member of Les Clefs d’Or, one must be at least twenty-one years of age, of good moral character and active within their concierge community.  Additionally, they must be employed by hotels in the usual sense of the word (not corporate or residential buildings) and have been employed thus for a minimum of five years (two if that service has been under the supervision of a member).  Also, the desk at which they work must have a sign that includes the word “concierge.”  Approval of membership is subject to the provision of documents, sponsorship by two existing members and a formal interview process.

Promotional poster for Il portiere di notte (The Night Porter (1974)), directed by Liliana Cavani (b 1933).  Note the crossed keys of the Les Clefs d'Or on the lapel.

Novelists and film makers have often been fond of concierges, presumably because they can be used as a quasi-narrator or linkage device between protagonists, the dramatic and comedic potential frequently (though not always convincingly) explored.  The best film in this sub-genre remains the cult favourite The Night Porter (1974), set in the high cold war Vienna of 1957 and starring Dirk Bogarde (1921–1999) as former Nazi concentration camp officer and Charlotte Rampling (b 1946) who had been one of his youthful inmates and one upon whom he imposed a sadomasochistic relationship.  Although not without flaws in its editing, The Night Porter is memorably evocative of the era and is more highly regarded now than at the time of its release.  In 2018 it was one of the films included in the Venice Classics at the Venice International Film Festival.

Dirk Bogart in The Night Porter with the paired crossed keys of the Les Clefs d'Or on the lapels.

Most concierges aren’t sadomasochistic (as far as is known) but they can still be involved in bizarre stuff.  One former member of the secret society is Australian Elvis Soiza (concierge at 111 Eagle Street, Brisbane) who says he can procure anything (as long as it's legal).  No longer a member because the Les Clefs d’Or restricts its rolls to those working in hotels, he notes there’s remarkably little difference between what’s done in a corporate building and a luxury hotel, the concierge still the “human face to a property” and one there to “offer advice, sooth, inform, entertain and organise”.  He sums up such buildings as “a hotel without bedrooms” (although Elon Musk may have blurred things a bit).

Lindsay Lohan usurping the escutcheon of the Les Clefs d'Or (digitally altered image).

During his years in hotels, Mr Soiza received many interesting requests but the most remarkable came in London during the 1980s when a Middle Eastern sheik asked him to arrange a pink elephant as a birthday surprise for his wife.  Thinking he needed a large stuffed toy he began to peruse the Harrods’ catalogue, only to be told the sheik wanted a real elephant, painted pink.  It took some doing, requiring Mr Soiza to coordinate a local circus, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA), local government (it's not clear which one, the Greater London Council (GLC, 1965-1986) was in 1986 dissolved by the Thatcher government with its responsibilities assigned to existing borough councils), the Indian High Commission and the Metropolitan Police but, within twelve hours, he’d secured an elephant, had it painted pink, obtained the required permit and, with a police escort, had the beast led to the hotel in time for the birthday party.  Quite remarkable.

The original image (left), the photoshopped fake (centre) and an actual African pink elephant (a form of partial albinism).

Pink elephants are of course hard to find in London but they're rare anywhere.  On the internet, there have been claims the creatures can be found in parts of India, the color the result of the red soil in the environment, the creatures spraying dust on their hides to protect themselves from biting insects.  However, it turned out to be fake news, the supporting evidence created with Photoshop and wildlife experts that while elephants cover themselves in mud, this doesn’t change the colour of their skin.  It's true there is a rare genetic disorder (technically a form of albinism) which can result in the skin of young African elephants displaying a slight pink hue but it's nothing like the vivid hot pink in the Photoshopped fake news.

Bliss

Bliss (pronounced blis)

(1) Perfect happiness; supreme joy or contentment.

(2) In theology, the ecstatic joy of heaven.

(3) A cause of great joy or happiness (archaic).

(4) A name used for a wide variety of locational, commercial and artistic purposes.

Pre-1000: From the Middle English blys, blice, blisce, blise, blesse & blisse, from the Old English bliss (bliss, merriment, happiness, grace, favor), from a variant of earlier blīds, blīþs & blīths (joy, gladness), from the Proto-West Germanic blithsjo & blīþisi (joy, goodness, kindness), the construct being blīthe (blithe) + -s, source also of the Old Saxon blizza & blīdsea (bliss), the construct being blithiz (gentle, kind) + -tjo (the noun suffix).  The early use was concerned almost exclusively with earthly happiness but, because of the fondness scholars in the Medieval Church felt for the word, in later Old English it came increasingly to describe spiritual ecstasy, perfect felicity and (especially), the joy of heaven.  In that sense as a verb it remains in common use in evangelical churches (especially in the southern US) to suggest the “attaining and existing in a state of perfect felicity”.  The adjective blissful was from the late twelfth century blisfulle (glad, happy, joyous; full of the glory of heaven).  Synonyms in a general sense include euphoria, happiness & joy while in a theological context there’s paradise, beatitude, blessedness, elicity, gladness, heaven & rapture; there is no better antonym than misery.  Bliss & blissfulness are nouns, blissy, blissed & blissless are adjectives, blissful is a noun & adjective and blissfully is an adverb; the noun plural is blisses.

The unrelated verb bless was from the Middle English blessen, from the Old English bletsian & bledsian and the Northumbrian bloedsian (to consecrate by a religious rite, make holy, give thanks), from the Proto-Germanic blodison (hallow with blood, mark with blood), from blotham (blood) and originally it meant the sprinkling of blood on pagan altars.  The pagan origins didn’t deter the early English scribes who chose the word for Old English bibles, translating the Latin benedicere and the Greek eulogein, both of which have a ground sense of "to speak well of, to praise," but were used in Scripture to translate Hebrew brk (to bend (the knee), worship, praise, invoke blessings).  In late Old English, the meaning shifted towards "pronounce or make happy, prosperous, or fortunate" under the influence of the etymologically unrelated bliss, (the resemblance obviously a factor in this) and by the early fourteenth century it was being used in religious services to mean "invoke or pronounce God's blessing upon" and is unusual in that there are no cognates in other languages.

State of bliss.  Lindsay Lohan embraces her inner Zen, Phuket, Thailand, 2017.

In idiomatic use, a "bliss ninny" is (1) one unrealistically optimistic (a Pollyanna, which, in Marxist theory, can align with the concept of "false consciousness), (2) one who prefers to ignore or retreat from difficult situations rather dealing with the problem (sometimes expressed as a "state of blissful ignorance") or (3) a student of theology intoxicated with the spiritual aspects of the teachings, but ignorant of the underlying scholarship.  A "bliss out" is the experience of great pleasure, often analogous with a "love rush" and the state in which one can be said to be "blissed up".  In economics, a "bliss point" is quantity of consumption where any further increase would make the consumer less satisfied (as opposed to the law of diminishing returns where increases deliver pleasure in decreasing increments; a classic example is alcohol.  It's used also in cooking as the measure of certain critical ingredients (fat, salt, sugar etc) at which point palatability is optimized.  To follow one's bliss is a notion from pop-psychology and the new age which advocates using one's awareness of what causes one to experience rapture as a guide for determining what constitutes authentic and proper living.

Charles O'Rear's original 1996 photograph, licenced in 2000 by Microsoft which used it as the desktop wallpaper for the Windows XP operating system.  Much time was spent in Microsoft's compatibility labs working out what would be the most "blissful" opening music (the "startup chime") to accompany the images' appearance upon boot-up. 

There are claims that Bliss, the default desktop wallpaper used in Microsoft’s Windows XP operating system, is the most viewed photograph of all time.  It was taken in 1996 by Charles O'Rear (b 1941) at Sonoma County, a viticultural region in California, using a Mamiya RZ67 film camera and as used by Microsoft, was barely changed, just cropped to better suit the shape of computer screens, the green hues slightly more saturated to render the image more “wallpaper-like”.

Quite how often bliss has been viewed isn’t known.  Economists and others use a variety of mathematical models and equations to calculate numbers where exact or even indicative records either don’t exist or can’t be relied upon, a famous example of which is the “piano tuner” problem posed by Italian-American nuclear physicist Enrico Fermi (1901–1954) for his students to ponder.  The challenge for the students was to create a formula to estimate the number of piano tuners in Chicago, based only on the known population of the city.  It would thus be a task of extrapolation, using one constant and a number of assumptions.  Fermi deconstructed his equation thus:

(1) Chicago has a population of 3 million.

(2) Assume an average family contains four members so that the number of families in Chicago must be about 750,000.

(3) Assume one in five families owns a piano, meaning there will be 150,000 pianos in Chicago.

(4) Assume the average piano tuner services four pianos a day and works a for five day week, taking an annual two week vacation.

(5) Therefore, in his (50 week) working year, a tuner would tune 1,000 pianos. The formula is thus 150,000 divided by (4 x 5 x 50) = 150.  There must be around 150 piano tuners in Chicago.

The method obviously doesn’t guarantee an exactly correct result but it does provide an indicative number might be off by no more than a factor of 2-3 and almost certainly within a factor of 10-12 so it’s reasonable to conclude there will be neither 15 nor 1,500 piano tuners.  A number with a factor error of even 2-3 in most cases is probably not a great deal of help (except to cosmologists for whom a factor of 10 error remains “within cosmological accuracy” but the piano tuner problem does illustrate how the concept can work and the more (useful) constants which are known, the more accurate the result is likely to be achieved.

Bliss, a little greener and cropped to fit on computer monitors.

Even so, it’s probably impossible to estimate how often bliss has been viewed, even were one to assemble as many constants and assumptions as are available such as:

(1) Number of copies of Windows XP sold.

(2) Number of copies of Windows XP in use in each year since it was introduced.

(3) Number of users per copy of Windows XP.

(4) Number of instances which retained bliss as wallpaper.

(5) Number of times per day each user saw bliss.

However, even with those and as many more assumptions as can be imagined, it’s doubtful if a vaguely accurate number could be derived, simply because data such as the number of users who changed their wallpaper (or have such a change imposed on them by corporate policies) isn’t available and there’s no rational basis on which to base an assumption.  However, although any estimate will almost certainly be out by millions or even billions, the bliss viewing number will be a big number and it being the world’s most viewed photograph is not implausible.

One of the reasons for the big number was the unexpected longevity of Windows XP which proved more enduring than two of its intended successors, the somewhat misunderstood Windows Vista and the truly awful Windows 8, the ongoing popularity of the thing meaning Microsoft repeatedly extended the end-date for support.  Introduced later in 2001, with a final substantive update made in 2008, support for Windows XP was intended to end in 2012 but such was the response that this was shifted in one form or another to 2014 for the mainstream products while for specialist installations (such as embedded devices), it lingered on until 2019.  That extension appealed to the nerd after-market which quickly provided hacks (with titles like “XP Update Extender”) to allow users to make XP on their desktop or laptop appear to Microsoft’s update services as one on the devices still supported.  Microsoft could have stopped this at any time but never did which was a nice courtesy.

More productive but less blissful: the scene in Sonoma County, 2006 after the land was given over to a vineyard. 

Another aspect of XP where “bliss point” could be used was that the users interface proved for many something of an ideal, combining the basic design of the model introduced when the object-oriented GUI (graphical user interface) was offered on Windows 95 (and subsequently bolted to Windows NT4) along with a few colorful embellishments.  So compelling was this that when, inexplicably, Microsoft introduced something less usable for Windows 8, the nerd after-market quickly mobilized and many “classic menus” appeared, the best of which remains “Open-Shell” (previously called “Classic Shell” & “Classic Start”) and there are those still so nostalgic for the ways of XP that some add it to their Windows 10/11 systems, even though the menu structures of those are a genuine improvement.  How many also add the bliss wallpaper (which remains widely available) isn’t known but Microsoft certainly haven’t attempted to suppress the memory, the Office 365 team including it in 2021 in a set of historical images for use with their Teams communication platform.

Microsoft Windows XP: The startup chime.

Velocity

Velocity (pronounced vuh-los-i-tee)

(1) Rapidity of motion or operation; swiftness; a certain measurement of speed.

(2) In mechanics and physics, a measure of the rate of motion of a body expressed as the rate of change of its position in a particular direction with time.  It is measured in metres per second, miles per hour etc.

(3) In casual, non technical use, a synonym for speed.

1540-1550: From the Middle French vélocité, from the Latin velocitatem (nominative vēlōcitās) (swiftness; speed), from vēlōx (genitive velocis) (swift, speedy, rapid, quick) of uncertain origin.  It may be related either to volō (I fly), volāre (to fly) or vehere (carry) from the primitive Indo-European weǵh- (to go, move, transport in a vehicle) although some etymologists prefer a link with the Proto-Italic weksloks from the primitive Indo-European weg-slo-, a suffixed form of the root weg- (to be strong, be lively). Although in casual use, velocity and speed are often used interchangeably, their meanings differ.  Speed is a scalar quantity referring to how fast an object is moving; the rate at which an object covers distance.  Velocity is the rate at which an object changes position in a certain direction. It is calculated by the displacement of space per a unit of time in a certain direction. Velocity deals with direction, while speed does not.  In summary, velocity is speed with a direction, while speed does not have a direction.  Velocity is a noun; the noun plural is velocities.

Great moments in velocity stacks

Velocity stacks (also informally known as trumpets or air horns) are trumpet-shaped devices, sometimes of differing lengths, fitted to the air entry of an engine's induction system, feeding carburetors or fuel injection.  Velocity stacks permit a smooth and even flow of air into the intake tract at high velocities with the air-stream adhering to the pipe walls, a process known as laminar flow.  They allow engineers to modify the dynamic tuning range of the intake tract by functioning as a resonating pipe which can adjust the frequency of pressure pulses based on its length within the tract.  Depending on the length and shape of the stack, the flow can be optimized for the desired power and torque characteristics, thus their popularity in competition where the quest is often for top-end power but the flow can also be tuned instead to produce enhanced low or mid-range performance for specialized use.

1973 McLaren M20C.

The 1968 McLaren M8A was built for the Canadian-American Challenge Cup (the Can-Am) and used a new aluminum version (later sold for street use as the ZL1) of the 427 cubic inch (7.0 litre) big-block Chevrolet V8.  Dry sumped and fuel injected, it was rated at 625 bhp.  A series for unlimited displacement sports cars, the wonderful thing about the Can-Am was the brevity of the rules which essentially were limited to (1) enclosed body work and (2) two seats (one of which was close to a fake).  With engines eventually growing to 509 cubic inches (8.3 litres) and reaching close to 800 horsepower, the McLarens dominated the series for five years, their era ended only by the arrival of the turbo-panzers, the turbocharged Porsche 917s which in qualifying trim generated a reputed 1500 horsepower.  The McLarens remained competitive however, the final race of the 1974 series won by a McLaren  M20.    

1970 Ferrari 512S.

Ferrari built 25 512S models in 1969-1970 to comply with the FIA’s homologation rules as a Group 5 sports car to contest the 1970 International Championship for Makes.  It used a five-litre V12 and was later modified to become the 512M which, other than modified road cars, was the last Ferrari built for sports car racing, the factory instead focusing on Formula One.

1965 Coventry Climax FWMW flat-16 prototype.

Coventry Climax developed their FWMW between 1963-1965, intending it for use in Formula One.  A 1.5 litre flat-16, both the Brabham and Lotus teams designed cars for this engine but it was never raced and the engines never proceeded beyond the prototype stage.  Like many of the exotic and elaborate designs to which engineers of the era were attracted, the disadvantages imposed by the sheer bulk and internal friction were never overcome and the promised power increases existed in such a narrow power band it’s usefulness in competition was negligible.  Even on the test-benches it was troublesome, the torsional vibrations of the long crankshaft once destroying an engine undergoing testing.  It was Coventry at its climax; after the débacle of the FWMW, the company withdrew from Formula One, never to return.

1970 Porsche flat-16 prototype.

Porsche developed their flat-16 in the search for the power needed to compete with the big-capacity machines in the Can-Am series.  Unable further to enlarge their flat-12, their solution was to add a third more cylinders.  As an engine, it was a success and delivered the promised power but the additional length of the engine necessitated adding to the wheelbase of the cars and that upset their balance, drivers finding them unstable.  Porsche mothballed the flat-16 and resorted instead to forced-aspiration, the turbocharged flat-12 so effective that ultimately it was banned but not before it was tweaked to deliver a reputed 1500+ horsepower in Can-Am qualifying trim and, in 1975, at the Talladega raceway it was used to set the FIA closed course speed record at 221.160 mph (355.923 km/h); the mark stood for five years.

1966 Ford 289 V8 in GT40 Mk 1.

Not all the Ford GT40s had the photogenic cluster of eight velocity stacks.  When the Ford team arrived at Le Mans in 1966, their Mk II GT40s were fitted with a detuned version of the 427 cubic inch (7.0 litre) big-block FE engines used on the NASCAR circuits and instead of the multiple twin-choke carburetors with the velocity stacks familiar to the Europeans, it was fed by a single four barrel unit under a fairly agricultural looking air intake.  On the GT40s, the velocity stacks looked best on the 289 and 302 cubic inch (4.7 & 4.9 litre) small-block Windsor V8s, the ones built with the four downdraft Weber carburetors thought most charismatic.

1967 BRM H-16.

In typically English fashion, the 1949 BRM V16 is celebrated as a glorious failure.  In grand prix racing, it failed for many reasons but in one aspect, it was a great success: the supercharged 1.5 litre engine generated prodigious, if hard to handle, power.  Not discouraged, when a three litre formula was announced for 1966, BRM again found the lure of sixteen cylinders irresistible though this time, aspiration would be atmospheric.  It actually powered a Lotus to one grand prix victory in Formula One but that was its sole success.  Although nice and short, it was heavy and it was tall, the latter characteristic contributing to a high centre of gravity, exacerbated by the need to elevate the mounting of the block to make space for the exhaust system of the lower eight cylinders.  It was also too heavy and the additional power it produced was never enough to offset the many drawbacks.  Withdrawn from competition after two seasons and replaced by a more conventional V12, the FIA later changed the rules to protect BRM from themselves, banning sixteen cylinder engines.

1969 Ferrari 312P.

Build to comply with Group 6 regulations for prototype sports cars, the Ferrari 312 P was raced by the factory towards the end of the classic era for sports car racing which dated back to the early 1950s.  Fielded first with a three litre V12, it was re-powered with a flat-12 in 1971 and has often been described as the Ferrari Formula One car with bodywork and while a simplification, given the engineering differences between the two, that was the concept.  It appeared on the grid to contest the World Sportscar Championship in 1969, a return from a year of self-imposed exile after one of Enzo Ferrari's many arguments with the FIA.  Needing reliability for distance racing, the Formula One engine was slightly detuned and, as in the open wheeler on which it was based, acted as an integral load-bearing part of the structure.  Unlike Ferrari's earlier sports cars, this time the classic array of Webber carburetors was eschewed, the velocity stacks sitting atop Lucas mechanical fuel-injection.

Albert Einstein, Lindsay Lohan and velocity

Velocity plays is a critical component in Albert Einstein’s (1879-1955) Special (1905) & General (1915) Theories of Relativity.  , profoundly influencing our understanding of space, time, and gravity.  In the Special Theory of Relativity, there is an explanation of the perception of “simultaneity”: events simultaneous in one frame of reference may not be simultaneous in another frame moving at a different velocity.  The critical implication of this wais that time was absolute but depends on the relative motion of observers.  This means a moving clock runs slower than one which is static (relative to the observer).  History’s second most quoted equation (number one said to be “2+2=4” although this is contested) is Einstein’s expression of mass-energy equivalence (E=mc²) which shows that mass and energy are interchangeable.  The significance in that of velocity is that as an object's velocity approaches the speed of light, its relativistic mass increases, requiring more energy to continue accelerating.  From this Einstein deduced the speed of light was the “universal speed limit” because for this eventually to be exceeded would require the input of an infinite amount of energy.  Whether such a state might have been possible in the first fraction of a second during the creation of the current universe remains a matter of speculation but as it now exists, the limit remains orthodox science.

The role of velocity in the General Theory of Relativity remains fundamental but is more complex still.  In addition to the dilation of time sue to relative motion, there is also “Gravitational Time Dilation” (due to relative motion, gravity itself causes time to dilate).  Objects moving in strong gravitational fields experience time more slowly than those existing in weaker fields.  Radically, what Einstein did was explain gravity not as a force (which is how we experience it) but as a curvature of space-time caused by the effects of mass & energy and the motion (and thus the velocity) of objects is is influenced by this curvature.  The best known illustration of the concept is that of “Geodesic Motion”: In curved space-time, a free-falling object moves along a geodesic path (the straightest possible between the points of departure & arrival). The velocity of an object influences its trajectory in curved space-time, and this motion is determined by the curvature created by mass-energy.

Two of Lindsay Lohan’s car most publicized car accidents.  All else being equal (which, as Albert Einstein would have explained, probably can’t happen), if an object is travelling at a higher velocity (in the casual sense of "speed"), the damage will be greater.  In these examples, at the point of impact, the Porsche 911 (997) Carrera S (2012, left) was travelling at a higher velocity than the Mercedes-Benz SL 65 AMG roadster (2005, right).

In classical (pre-Einstein) mechanics, the explanation would have been an object traveling at a higher velocity would have its kinetic energy increase quadratically with velocity (ie double the velocity and the kinetic energy increases by a factor of four.  In relativistic physics, as an object's velocity approaches the speed of light, its relativistic mass increases with velocity and relativistic mass contributes to the object's total energy.  For velocities much less than the speed of light (non-relativistic speeds (a car, even with Lindsay Lohan behind the wheel)), the increase in mass is negligible, and the primary difference is the increase in kinetic energy which follows the classical equation.  However, at velocities approaching the speed of light, both the kinetic energy and the relativistic mass increase significantly.  In a car crash, the main determinate of an impact's severity (and thus the damage suffered) is the kinetic energy:  A car traveling at a higher velocity will have significantly more kinetic energy, so any impact will be more destructive; the kinetic energy is determined by the square of the velocity meaning small a small increase in velocity results in a large increase in energy.  So, on the road, it’s really all about energy because the velocity attainable (relative to what’s going to be hit) means any increase in mass is going to be negligible.  However, were a car to be travelling at close to the speed of light the relativistic mass greatly would be increased, further contributing to the energy of the crash and making things worse still.

Procreate

Procreate (pronounced proh-kree-yet)

(1) To beget, engender or generate (offspring).

(2) To produce; bring into being.

1530–1540: From the Latin prōcreātus, past participle of prōcreāre (to breed), the construct being pro- + creāre (to create), prōcreāte being the second-person plural present active imperative of prōcreō (present infinitive prōcreāre, perfect active prōcreāvī, supine prōcreātum; first conjugation).  Root form was pro- +‎ creo, the pro- prefix being the combining form of prō (preposition); creo was from the Proto-Italic krēāō (to make grow) from the primitive Indo-European ḱer- (to grow; become bigger”), the same root of crēscō (I increase, rise, grow, thrive; multiply, augment).  The synonyms and related terms include spawn, proliferate, originate, impregnate, parent, engender, sire, create, breed, father, generate, mother, produce, propagate, conceive, hatch, multiply, get, beget & make.  Procreate, procreated & procreating are verbs, procreation, procreativeness & procreator are nouns and procreant & procreative are adjectives; the noun plural is procreators.

The consequences of procreation: Lindsay Lohan’s family tree.

Procreation was a theme in the Bible.  In Genesis 1:28, God tells Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and increase in number”, a point reinforced in Psalm 127:3–5 and Matthew 28:18-20.  In an early example of a social contract, in the Covenant of the Rainbow (Genesis 6:13-22 (KJV)), having told man to go forth and multiply, God granted humanity dominion over all earth and “…every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.  Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.”  Most anxious to do the Lord’s work was Barnaby Joyce (b 1967; thrice (between local difficulties) deputy prime minister of Australia 2016-2022).  Having gone forth and multiplied with his wife who gave him four dsughters, after pausing to condemn same-sex marriage because it threatened the sanctity of traditional marriage, he deserted his wife to go forth and multiply with his mistress... twice.  The two children were later able to attend their parents' marriage which was a nice touch.

Grit

Grit (pronounced grit)

(1) Abrasive particles or granules, as of sand or other small, coarse impurities found in the air, food, water etc.

(2) Firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck.

(3) A coarse-grained siliceous rock, usually with sharp, angular grains.

(4) To cause to grind or grate together.

(5) To make a scratchy or slightly grating sound, as of sand being walked on; grate.

Pre-1000; From the Middle English gret, griet and grit, from the Old English grēot (sand, dust, earth, gravel), cognate with the German Griess and the Old Norse grjōt (pebble, boulder), the Germanic forms all derived from the Old High German grioz.  The Proto-Germanic was greutan (tiny particles of crushed rock) which was the root for the Old Saxon griot, the Old Frisian gret, the Old Norse grjot (rock, stone) and the German Grieß (grit, sand).  Ultimate root was the primitive Indo-European ghreu (rub, grind), a fork of which begat the Lithuanian grudas (corn, kernel), the Old Church Slavonic gruda (clod) and the Serbo-Croatian grȕda (lump).  An interesting variation is the specifically wintertime use as the Lithuanian grúodas (frost; frozen street dirt).  The sense of an indomitable spirit, a display of pluck, spirit, firmness of mind, was first recorded in American English in 1808 and the meaning “make a grating sound" is attested from 1762.  The change in pronunciation happened during the era of Middle English when grete & griet were subject to the early modern vowel shortening to become grit.  Grit is a noun & verb, gritted is a verb & adjective, gritting is a verb & noun, gritter is a noun and gritty is an adjective; the noun plural is grits (although "grittings" is (in this context) in wider use).

Harford Lower Extremity Specialists (HLES) illustrating things with a gritty foot.

In culinary use “grits” is used to describe a type of porridge made from coarsely ground dried maize or hominy (the latter a maize which has been nixtamalized (a process in which the grain is soaked and cooked in an alkaline solution (usually limewater) and hulled with the pericarp (ovary wall) removed.  The dish is most associated with the US, south of the Mason-Dixon Line and traditionally was cooked in warm salted water or milk, often served with flavourings as a breakfast dish; grits can be savory or sweet.  Grits was from the Old English grytt (coarse meal). Grits (in this sense of coarsely ground corn), occasionally takes a singular verb, especially in the southern US.

Through gritted teeth

ESL (English as a second language) teachers report the phrase “through gritted teeth” is one of those most readily understood by those new to the language; it seems a universal concept.  Although it can be used in the literal sense to mean “clench one's teeth together tightly because of pain”, it’s more common in the idiomatic to mean “to confront a difficult or disagreeable situation and deal with one’s negative feelings by adopting a superficial display of acceptance”.  Best explained by the companion phrase “grin and bear it”, the essential nuance is it carries the implication of a passive display of disapproval while not overtly raising objection, honor thus satisfied on both sides.

Tony Abbott (b 1957; Prime Minister of Australian 2013-2015), celebrating the marriage of his sister, Christine Forster to wife Virginia Flitcroft, Sydney, February 2018.  This photograph encapsulates the concept of "confronting a difficult or disagreeable situation and deal with one’s negative feelings by adopting a superficial display of acceptance".

A gritter truck, spreading grit.

Gritter trucks are a type of winter service vehicle (WSV) used in areas where sustained conditions of sub-zero temperatures cause icy roads.  Usually called "gritters", they're known also as "salters", "salt spreaders" or "salt shakers" and are used to spread grit (usually rock salt, sometimes mixed with sand) onto roads.  The salt lowers the melting point of ice and the sand improves traction, the resulting liquid water flowing to the road's edge by virtue of the slight slopes from the centre-line engineers include as a part of roadway design.  In earlier times when prevention techniques were less comprehensive, cars in areas where salt was widely used sometimes needed to be scrapped in as little as 2-3 years, such was the extent of their rust.  Even now, cars in such places have a notably shorter life.  The Scots seem to be most imaginative in name their “gritters” and those noted spreading grit include Gritallica; Ready, Spready, Go!; Sled Zepplin; For Your Ice Only; Gritt Scott!; Frosty the Snow Plough; Grit and BEAR It; Mr Snow-it-all; Mrs McGritter; Salt Shaker; Salty Claus; Gritty Gritty Bang Bang; Get a Grit; Thistle do nicely; Blizzard Wizard; Hagrit; Salty; Grit A Bit; I Want to Break Freeze; Mega Melter; Always Be Grit-full; Scotland’s Bravest Gritter; Basil Salty; Licence to Chill; Sir Salter Scott; Nitty Gritty; Grit-Tok; BFG (Big Friendly Gritter); Snow place like home; Gritty McGrit Face; Griticle Mass; I’ve Grit a Crush on you; Don’t go Grittin’ my heart; Thistle gets through; Oh my Gritty Aunt and Taylor Drift.

Nictate

Nictate (pronounced nik-teyt)

To wink.

1690s: From the Medieval Latin nictitātus, from the Latin nictātus, past participle of nictāre (to wink, fidget, blink, signal with the eyes), inflection of nictō (to blink, to wink; to signal with the eyes (and figuratively (of fire) to flash and to strive, to exert great effort).  It was related to nicere (to beckon) and the ultimate source was the primitive Indo-European root kneigwh (to blink, to draw together (the eyes or eyelids)) (related to kneygwh (to bend, to droop), the source also of the Gothic hniewan and the Old High German nigan (to bow, be inclined).  It was cognate with connīveō, nītor (to bear or rest upon something).  Nictate, nictitated & nictitating are verbs, nictitate is an adjective and nictator & nictation are noun; the noun plurat is nictators.  Nictate was used from the 1690s, nictitated & nictitating emerged in the 1710s and nictitation in the 1820s.

The alteration nictitate

The intransitive verb nictitate is sometimes described as an alternative spelling of nictate but it’s more a niche alteration for a specialised niche.  Nictitate’s origins are the same as nictate, coming from the Latin word for winking, nictāre.  The addition of the extra syllable is thought to have been under the influence of Latin verbs ending in -itare, such as palpitare and agitare (from which, respectively, English gained palpitate and agitate).  The niche is in zoology, a role it’s played since scientists in the early eighteenth century began to describe a “nictitating membrane”, the so-called "third eyelid", the thin, usually transparent membrane in the eyes of birds, fishes, and other vertebrates, the function of which is to help keep the eyeball moist and clean.  In zoology, the word referred either to a wink or blink but when applied to humans (a species in which a wink can be a non-verbal clue transmitting meaning) it's used exclusively of winks.

Noted nictator, Lindsay Lohan, nictating.

Vladimir Putin (b 1952; president or prime minister of Russia since 1999).  Mr Putin is a known nictator and for those individuals (or countries) at which his nictations are directed, the consequences can be good or bad.  Simultaneously, Mr Putin can “turn a blind eye” while giving a “nod and a wink”.

The act of nictation (as wink) is featured in idiomatic English phrases including a nod is as good as a wink (the hint, suggestion etc can be understood without further explanation) (and sometimes embellished as a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse which must mystify those learning the language), God winks (an event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer), in the wink of an eye (something happening instantaneously or very quickly (in the blink of an eye and in the twinkling of an eye are both synonymous), forty winks (a brief sleep, a nap), a wink at (an allusion to something or someone) and nudge nudge wink wink (a hint that a euphemism is being deployed).  There’s also the ominous sounding butt wink (in the sport of weight-lifting, an error while performing a squat of bending the lower back and moving the pelvis in under the body).

Groyne

Groyne (pronounced groin)

A wall or jetty built out from a riverbank or seashore to control erosion; also known as a spur or breakwater, acting as a "strong, low sea wall".  The US spelling is for all purposes: groin.  The noun plural is groynes.

1580s: Origin contested, some sources claim it’s an alteration of groin, the use based on a vague anatomical similarity.  The alternative etymology, this one linked to porcine proboscis anatomy, traces the origin to the Middle English groyn (snout) from the Old French groign & groin (muzzle, snout; promontory, jutting part) from the Late Latin grunium & grunia, derived from the Classical Latin grunnire (grunt like a pig).  It has troubled etymologists because the use of groin in the sense of "pig's snout" from circa 1300 was obsolete long before the 1580s.  All agree however the link of the Latin and French forms to the colloquial English grunter (a pig).

Groynes are fixed hydraulic structure extending either from a costal shoreline or riverbank which interrupt the natural water-flow, thereby limiting the movement of sediment.  Historically, groynes were made from timber or stone but synthetic materials are now also used.  Ocean groynes tend towards being perpendicular to the shore, extending from the upper foreshore or beach into the water where as riparian structures are often laid at more acute angles.  Groynes may be wholly or partially submerged and the space between two is called a groyne field although they’re generally built in a series, often in tandem with seawalls.

English spelling evolved under many influences and this produced anomalies and absurdities, some of which the Americans corrected and it would be nice if the rest of the English-speaking world could be convinced to adopt the more rational of their innovations.  However, like cheque & check, groin (part of a body or vault) & groyne (a breakwater) share one pronunciation yet more than one meaning so maintaining two different spellings seems useful.  It's one of those examples where the often commendable simplification of US English is not helpful.