Phaeton

Phaeton (pronounced feyt-n (U) or fey-i-tn (non-U))

(1) Any of various light, four-wheeled carriages, originally without folding tops, having one or two seats facing forward, used first in the nineteenth century.  In describing horse-drawn carriages, phaeton was later used to describe many with convertible tops (originally often as spider (or spyder) phaeton).

(2) An early-mid twentieth century touring-car with four or more seats and (later) sometimes with removable side-windows and a convertible top; some with dual-cowl coachwork.

(3) A model name for automobiles which came to mean nothing in particular beyond a hint at "more expensive".

1585-1595: 1742: From the (1735) French phaeton, from the Latin Phaëtōn, from the Ancient Greek Φᾰέθων (Phaéthōn).  Phaëthon, the son of Clymene and the sun god Helios, gained permission (from whom was contested) to drive his father's sun-chariot but, being unable to control the horses, was struck by Zeus with a thunderbolt and slain after nearly setting on fire the whole Earth.  His name translated as “shining” and was from phaein & the verb phaethô (to shine, to make gleam), from phaos (light), from the primitive Indo-European root bha- (to shine).   Even before the carriages were so named, phaeton (the spellings varied) was used to describe someone who recklessly handled horses and carts or carriages.  The alternative spellings were Phaethon, Phaéthôn, Phaëton, Phaeton, Phæton & Phaëthon.  The adjectives phaetonlike & phateonesque are non-standards but have been used by historians of the industry to describe the coachwork of vehicles (built usually in the 1930s) with characteristics straddling those of phaetons and convertible sedans without being a "pure" implementation of either.  Phaeton & phaetoneer are nouns; the noun plural is phaetons.

Phaethon (1878), watercolor & pencil in the symbolist tradition by Gustave Moreau (1826-1898), Musée du Louvre, Paris.

The myth from antiquity was a cautionary tale about the impetuosity of adolescent youth but, being from Greek mythology, there’s more than one account of Phaëthon and the story of his fall was told with two distinct traditions concerning his genealogy, one making him the son of Eos and Cephalus, the other of Helios and Clymene.  In the second and most popular version, Phaethon was raised by his mother, who, until he reached adolescence, concealed from the boy his father's identity.  Impressed by his illustrious lineage but also seeking acknowledgement of his status as a child of a god, Phaethon asked his father to allow him drive the sun-chariot (somewhat akin to handing one’s sixteen year-old son the keys to one’s V12 Ferrari).  Duly granted, Phaethon began the journey by following his father’s usual route across the vaults of heaven but, inexperienced, became alarmed a finding himself so high in the sky, the sights of the animals in the starts (the signs of the Zodiac) becoming too frightening so he deviated from the eternally ordained path.  In panic, he dropped too low, scorching the once fertile plains of Africa to desert and risking setting alight the whole of Earth.  Out of control, he again soared too high, prompting the stars to complain to Zeus.  Appalled, to prevent a global conflagration, Zeus smote the boy with his thunderbolt, hurling him dead into the River Eridanus where the Heliades (his five sisters) paid him funeral honours.  A variant on the tale is the Heliades (Merope, Helia, Phoebe, Aetheria & Dioxippe (or Lampetia)), lamenting his death, wept for him on the banks of the Eridanus where they were transformed into tall poplars, their tears becoming drops of amber.  That may, given the circumstances, seem harsh but in that version it was said their arboreal metamorphosis was a punishment because it was they who had given Phaethon the chariot and horses of the Sun without the permission of Helios.  While the myths of Antiquity often were unforgiving, that twist in the tale has attracted latter-day feminist criticism because it’s part of the “blame women” narrative that, for several thousand years, permeated Western literature, “poisoning” politics and culture.  In death, Phaethon was placed amongst the stars as the constellation Auriga (the Charioteer) or transformed into the god of the star that the Greeks named Phaethon (the planets Jupiter or Saturn depending on the translation).

1932 Cadillac V16 Special Phaeton with (V12) coach-work by Fisher.

Phaetons were a type of type of light, open four-wheeled horse carriage, English in 1742 picking up the word from the French form, coined in 1735, the link being the exposure of the passengers to the sun and until well into the modern age, they remained popular, despite the availability of carriages with partially or fully enclosed coach-work.  Indeed, even if not so named, phaetons were the most common form in the early age of the automobile, some supplied with no folding top, some with one and removable side windows also appeared, something supplied by the manufacturer, sometimes by third-party "accessory shops", an industry that for decades flourished and, in rather different form, exists to this day.  As enclosed coachwork and integrated (retractable) side windows became close to standardized, phaetons were by the 1930s close to extinct and the companion four-door convertibles would soon follow, becoming a niche last filled in 1967 when the last convertible version of the memorable fourth series Lincoln Continentals (1961-1969) left the line, a model that would prove to be the last convertible ever built by Lincoln.  The core element of the phaeton (no side windows) lived on the (most British) roadsters of the post-war years although by the early 1960s most of them had gained effete luxuries like external door handles and windows able to be wound down (although other primitive features would endure), all supplied with at least a folding soft-top and often a rigid hard-top (in metal or fibreglass) too.  Since the Shelby American Cobra was in 1967 driven extinct by the beginning of what proved an onslaught of US safety and exhaust emission regulations, only a handful of small-scale manufactures have produced the traditional, minimalist roadsters and none have put phaetons into production, there being some demand for the former, none for the latter.

The Dual-Cowl Phaetons

1935 Packard Twelve dual-cowl Sport Phaeton with coach-work by Dietrich (left) and 1935 Duesenberg SJ dual-cowl Phaeton with coach-work by La Grande.  The unusual, rakish line of the Duesenberg's convertible top exists because in 1937, Rollston Coachworks (New York) was commissioned to fit the rare option of a fixed vee-windshield, a visual and aerodynamic enhancement from a time before curved-glass screens became practical.

Among the grandest and most romantic of the pre-war phaetons were the dual-cowl convertibles (ie a second windscreen was fitted for the rear seat passengers, doubtless an addition deemed "thoughtful" by women with "big hair") of the 1930s although, being very expensive in a time of what was for much of the population a time of austerity, few were built, the rich often reluctant to consume too conspicuously (though, behind closed doors, the extravagances continued).  Unlike the original horse-drawn carriages from which the name was appropriated, the cars so-described usually had a folding roof and either removable side windows (usually then called "side-curtains") or even glass able to be rolled-down.  Purists of course insist any "true" phaeton has no side windows, nor any roof (rigid or folding) but those were only ever conventions and not always adhered to even during the horse & buggy era.  In the age of the automobile, everything became elastic and "phaeton" became just another model name to be used as a manufacturer saw fit.  In an early example of this linguistic promiscuity, by the 1930s Buick was selling what would now be though a "four-door convertible" (with integrated winding windows) yet continued to use the phaeton label.  By then, the design parameters of the old designations from the days of horse-drawn carriages had long become "frayed around the edges" and whether modest Fords or the big dual-cowl Duesenbergs, Chryslers, Lincolns, Cadillacs and Packards, all were marketed as "phaetons" although the use of tops and side windows could vary.  In the post-war years, the four-door hardtop really was the the spiritual successor (in the sense of market place positioning) of the inter-war phaeton as rapidly the four-door convertibles faded from the scene; by the late 1970s, the four-door hardtops too would go extinct except for the odd example in the quirky world of the JDM (Japanese Domestic Market).  Today, like landau, phaeton is just a name which means nothing in particular although many seem aware both are evocative of something from the past.  In recent decades, there have been many off-road and utilitarian vehicles which, technically, are phaeton-like but they're hardly in the spirit of the machines of the 1930s.  

Parade Phaetons

Before there was crooked Hillary (Hillary Clinton (b 1947; US secretary of state 2009-2013)), there was tricky Dicky.  Vice-President Richard Nixon (1913-1994; VPOTUS 1953-1961 & POTUS 1969-1974) at President Dwight Eisenhower's (1890-1969; POTUS 1953-1961) second Inaugural Parade, 21 January 1957 in 1952 Chrysler lmperial dual-cowl Parade Phaeton (one of three built).

Although "true" phaetons in the traditional sense, the name of Chrysler's 1952 parade cars delights obsessives in the collector-car community because of the corporate history.  Introduced in 1926, the Chrysler Imperial sat atop the company's brand hierarchy until 1954 when Imperial was (re-)launched as a standalone brand, the an arrangement lasting until 1975 (although even by 1972 the Chrysler name had crept back somewhat and the half-hearted revivals in 1981-1983 & 1990-1993 are not fondly remembered).  The 1952 parade phaetons thus properly are designated "Chrysler Imperials" although, being updated by the factory in 1955 with much of the sheet-metal and other fixtures from the 1956 Imperial, they resemble the latter and are sometimes erroneously so described.  So, although the appearance would suggest "Imperial", pedants gleefully will correct that to "Chrysler Imperial".

In happier times: Wedding procession of the ex-Duke & Duchess of York, traveling in the 1902 State Landau Carriage, London, 1986.

What the parade phaetons were intended to be were motorized versions of the "state landaus" now most familiar from footage of princes (and one ex-prince) of the UK's royal family getting married (at least to their first wife).  The best-known is the 1902-vintage "State Landau Carriage", seen of late in the wedding processions of (1) the then Prince of Wales (now King Charles (b 1948, King of the UK since 2022)) to Lady Diana Spencer (1961-1997) on 29 July, 1981 (2), the then Prince Andrew (now the ex-Prince, ex-Admiral, ex-Duke of York etc Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (b 1960)) to Sarah Ferguson (b 1959) on 23 July, 1986 and (3) Prince William (b 1982 and since 2022 the Prince of Wales) to Catherine Middleton (b 1982) on 29 April 2011.  The State Landau Carriage had been built in 1902 by Messrs Hooper for the coronation procession (9 August, 1902) through London of of Edward VII (1841–1910; King of the UK & Emperor of India 1901-1910) and it's since been a central feature in much of the panoply assembled for "royal family set pieces", many of which are spectacles of most recent origin, created for the family's new role as content providers for mass media (color television probably the platform most influencing this latter-day choreography of spectacle).  Some of the royal marriages of those who sat in the carriage to and from the church where they promised state and God to remain together till death do them part didn't end well but, clearly not superstitious, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge ("Will & Kate" to readers of the Daily Mail) choose the 1902 Landau although Prince Harry (b 1984) and Meghan Markle (b 1981) decided not to risk the curse, riding instead in one of the five Ascot landaus in the Royal Mews.  Like phaeton, "landau" is a word that in earlier centuries once had a precise meaning when appearing in a coach-builder's catalogue but is now is just another model name. 

Chrysler Newport dual-cowl Phaeton by LeBaron (six of which were built in 1940-1941, left), 1952 Chrysler Imperial dual-cowl Phaeton (one of three, centre) & 1997 Chrysler dual-cowl Phaeton concept car (a genuine one-off, right).

Recalling the 1940 Chrysler Newport, the three dual-cowl parade phaetons were built on the chassis of the 1952 Chrysler Imperial Crown Limousine with the wheelbase extended by 3 inches (75 mm) to 147½ (3,746)).  All were constructed for ceremonial use by the US government and the municipal corporations of New York City and Los Angeles and they still make the odd appearance.  Obviously, a dual-cowl parade phaeton is a niche commodity and the three were thought the last of the breed but, in 1997, unexpectedly, Chrysler displayed a concept car in the same vein.  While obviously not intended for production, it did include an intoxicatingly attractive specification including a bespoke 48 valve, 333 cubic-inch (5.4 litre) V12 engine rated at 425 HP (horsepower).  With 5.4 litres and 425 horsepower (referencing respectively the 331 cubic inch V8 in the 1952 cars and the (understated) power output of the corporation's 426 Street Hemi V8 (1966-1971)) both being iconic numbers from Chrysler's happier past, the nostalgia button was pressed but the styling was something of a curate's egg.  While judged mostly an accomplished exercise, the front divided opinion; one could see what the designers were getting at but, to blend elements from both 1940 and 1955 may have been "a pastiche too far" and the thing may have been more admired still had the lines of 1955 front clip more slavishly been followed, the approach the Chinese manufacturer Honqqi wisely pursues for its "retro" exercises.     

Comrade Stalin's 1936 Packard Standard Eight Phaeton.  The Kremlin's "state parade car", it wasn't used during Moscow's colder months.

With roots in the nineteenth century, Packard had been one of the US industry's most storied names and, during the inter-war years (1919-1941), was among the most prestigious brands in the nation.  According to Ferrari folklore, it had been the sound of Packard V12s on race tracks that inspired Enzo Ferrari (1989-1988) to decide the machines to bear his name must “canta la canzone dei dodici” (sing the song of twelve) although, like Winston Churchill (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955), many sometimes dubious quotes have been attributed to il Commendatore (his apparently envious quip about the Jaguar E-Type (XKE, 1961-1974) the best known) but all at least sound like something “he might have said” and, for folkloric purposes, that’s good enough.  What is uncontested was his remark “Una Ferrari è una macchina a dodici cilindri” (a Ferrari is a twelve cylinder car), explaining why the 206 GT (1967-1969) was a “Dino” and not a “Ferrari”.  Clearly that applied only to the road cars because, on the track, the factory had enjoyed great success in the 1950s & 1960s using four, six & eight cylinder engines but reality anyway bit in the more troubled 1970s and Ferrari V8s became (by the factory’s historic standards), “mass-market” road cars.

A 1936 Packard Standard Eight Phaeton was for years the designated “parade car” in the Kremlin garage but, as tensions rose in the Soviet Union, comrade Stalin (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) became more security conscious, ceasing to ride in open-topped vehicles, preferring the armored Packard Twelve limousine gifted to him by Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR, 1882–1945, POTUS 1933-1945).  Despite weighing some six tons (one door alone a hefty 348 kg (767 lb)), the 473 cubic in (7.8 litre) V12 was able to propel the car (despite its suspect aerodynamic qualities) to a reputed top speed of 130 km/h (80 mph); at that pace the gas (petrol) consumption would have been “heroic” (likely mid-single figures in mpg (miles per gallon) terms) but high fuel bills didn’t greatly trouble the comrades in the Politburo.  The fine engineering in the Kremlin’s fleet of Packards proved useful in the early years of the Cold War, the ZiS 110 sedan (1946-1958) & ZiS-115 limousine (1948-1949) (the brand better known in the West as “Zil”) both “reversed-engineered” (ie copied) versions of the 1942 Packard.  Reverse-engineering was a notable feature of Soviet industry and much of its post-war re-building of machinery for the armed forces involved the process, exemplified by the Tupolev Tu-4 heavy bomber (1947), a remarkably close copy of the US Boeing B-29 Superfortress (1942), a reasonably achievement given some of the advanced metallurgical techniques then available on to the Americans.

End of the line: the gape-mouthed 1958 Packard Hawk, one of the so-called "Packardbakers".  Of the final 2,622 Packards made in 1958, 588 were Hawks.

Other countries also adopted the practice that, in some places, continues to this day for both consumer goods and military equipment.  After spending the war years engaged in military production (notably a version of the Merlin V12 aero-engine built under license from Rolls-Royce), Packard emerged in 1945 in sound financial state but found the new world challenging, eventually in 1953 merging with fellow struggling independent, Studebaker.  Beset form the start by internal conflict, things went from bad to worse and, after dismal sales in 1958-1959 of the final Packards (which were really modified Studebakers and derided by many as “Packardbakers”), the Packard brand was retired, the Studebaker-Packard Corporation in 1962 reverting to again become Studebaker but it was to no avail, the last Studebaker leaving the line (in Canada!) in 1967.

For both, it had been a rapid and precipitous decline from great success, one notable product of Studebaker being the 152,000-odd US6 trucks supplied by the US to the Soviet Union under the wartime “lend-lease” arrangements, comrade Stalin during the Tehran Conference (Nov-Dec 1943) raising a toast and freely admitting “Without the machines we received through Lend-Lease, we would have lost the war.”.  Unfortunately, the still sometimes quoted tale that comrade Stalin sent a personal “thank-you letter” to the Studebaker Corporation appears wholly apocryphal.  According to the Studebaker National Museum, an official “letter of appreciation” from the Soviet government was received through “normal diplomatic channels” but it neither mentioned comrade Stalin nor bore his signature.  The rugged US6 (nicknamed Studer by Red Army troops who much appreciated its durability and ability to handle the mud and snow so often a feature of the Eastern Front) appears often in the conflict’s photographic record because it was the platform used to mount the famous Katyusha rocket launchers (a weapon nicknamed “Stalin’s Organs” because of the distinctive sound made when being fired in multiple salvos).  In the post-war years, the WS6 was also reverse-engineered, influencing several generations of Soviet truck design, a breed admired more for toughness than aesthetics.

FDR & Ford

1937 Ford V8 Phaeton

As the American car buyer came to prefer the creature comforts offered by closed coupés & sedans or convertibles (with "proper", wind-down glass windows), sales of the more basically configured roadsters and phaetons began in the 1930s rapidly to decline.  In small numbers, the exotic dual cowl phaetons continued to appeal to those who wanted something extravagant in which to be chauffeured on warm, sunny days but for those for whom economics dictated ownership of a single vehicle, the attractions of protection from the elements was persuasive, especially in a northern winter.  Surprisingly, it was Ford, a pioneer (if not the originator) in the techniques of mass-production and the optimization of economies of scale that, despite the line's shrinking profitability, kept the roadster and phaeton on the books longer than most, their last roadster built in 1937 and the final phaeton the following year although production in 1938 ran to a mere 1169 cars, little more than an administrative inconvenience for a company used to measuring unit-production in chunks of tens of thousands.  When the Ford line was updated for 1939, the phaeton was deleted from the catalogue.

FDR and two presidential advisors (his granddaughters) in his 1936 Ford V8 Phaeton (one of 13 body-styles Ford that year made available for the V8), supervising the construction of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum (dedicated 1941), Hyde Park, New York (left) and FDR in Phaeton with signature (Cocktail length) cigarette holder (right).

Now on permanent display in the museum (the odometer reading 19,143 miles (30,808 km), the New York license plate was “3” with the governor allocated “1” and the lieutenant governor “2” (that hierarchy reflecting late eighteenth century political thought in the states, a view that would decline in significance after the US Civil War (1861-1865)).  Afflicted at 39 by polio that left him paralyzed from the waist down, FDR’s cars were fitted with hand controls for the throttle, brakes & clutch, a cigarette dispenser always included as was a customized clip for his cigarette holder.  By social convention, in the US, men rarely used a cigarette holder longer than 4 inches (100 mm) although there were longer varieties and the “Opera length” was a favorite of Vogue’s editors who liked to have a slender model photographed elegantly holding one at a time when smoking was both “sexy” and “fashionable”.  The “Operas” typically were between 16-20 inches (400-200 mm) while more conveniently-sized versions included the “Theatre length” (10-14 (250-350)), “Dinner length” (4-6 (100-150)) and “Cocktail length” (1-3 (25-75).

The Art Deco Society of New York's lovey art deco examples of the sort of cigarette case and holders that should have been in the handbag of the modern young woman.

It’s an urban myth Vogue ever recommended that if wearing something “sleeveless”, women’s choice of cigarette holder should be in inverse proportion to their gloves' length (ie an Opera thus be paired with a “Short” or “Wrist”, a Theatre with an “Above Wrist” or “Three Quarter”, a Dinner with a “Below Elbow or “Elbow” and a Cocktail with a “Upper Arm”, “Underarm” or “Maxi”).  That might sound counterintuitive but it was claimed the goal was for the holder to be "in accord" with the expanse of skin on display, not the material of the glove.  It was fake news but appears sometimes still, along with claims there were in polite society “strict” rules of etiquette about such things.  There was a widely adopted convention under which women removed their gloves before smoking, eating or drinking but that was just good sense and glove length was anyway dictated by the time of day or nature of the event to which a pair was worn.  Vogue did however confirm a cigarette holder was “an essential accessory for any fashionable woman” but was most focused more on the materials used in construction, a 1930 article listing what a “smart woman” should keep in her handbag, recommending “a black enamel cigarette holder in a small eggshell case by Dunhill (for day) and a Cartier gold and tortoiseshell cigarette holder (for evening; other “handbag essentials” included “a tortoiseshell comb, a bill clip, a vanity case, a cigarette case and other “examples of charm and good taste.”  It’s little wonder Vogue came to be called the “fashion bible” although in the modern era not all followed all the advice; as far as is known, Lindsay Lohan has never been photographed using a cigarette holder or carrying a cigarette case and although smoking can't be recommended, she did make it look alluring.

2004 Volkswagen Phaeton W12.  Well-built, dynamically more than competent with great attention to detail (the trunk (boot) lid's hinges pieces of mechanical artistry) but, even by the slight standards of the market segment, the depreciation rate was extraordinary.

A Volkswagen that should have been an Audi or (not inconceivable, even then) a Lamborghini (both brands part of the VW conglomerate), the Volkswagen Phaeton was produced between 2002-2016 as a four-door sedan in a standard and LWB (long-wheelbase configurations), the Phaeton name nothing to do with the traditional definition and chosen presumably because it was thought to impart some vague notion of exclusivity and wealth.  The name may have come from focus group sessions or have been MBA (Master of Business Administration) marketing-think but, in retrospect, naming it after a figure from Greek mythology who "crashed & burned" was perhaps tempting the gods of fate.  Because cars now mostly "look alike" (everybody's shapes now emerge from a wind-tunnel looking much the same), it's no longer as easy to fashion "brand identity" with appearance so the choice of name can help and what the company was at the time attempting to do was make people perceive Volkswagen as a true "luxury brand", the "modest success" (ie failure) enjoyed when the W8 engine was between 2001-2004 offered at high-price in the smaller VW Passat seemingly not a sufficiently salutatory lesson.  Volkswagen would once have had a solid base from which to "mover up-market because the Beetle (Type 1, 1938-2003), despite being a "low-priced" car, gained an admirable reputation for quality; inside, if felt as if forged from a billet of steel.  Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever and after 1974, when the company's shift to the flimsier world of FWD (front-wheel-drive) began in earnest, that reputation suffered; in a sense, the "Phaeton project" began a quarter century too late.  Why the MBAs didn’t take note of why Toyota created Lexus (so they would have their own "Audi") isn’t clear but they may have been the same folk who couldn’t understand the Maybach name made sense positioned below Mercedes-Benz, not above.  The principles used in the washing powder business or other sectors in which the MBAs have done good work are not universally transferable.

Mercedes-Benz 600 (W100, 1963-1981) Landaulet and two (SWB) sedans.

The 1970 Pullman Landaulet (one of twelve known informally as the "presidential" because the folding portion of the roof extended to the driver's compartment, the other 58 Landaulets having a convertible top only over the rear seat) was purchased by the Romanian government and used by comrade president Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; General Secretary of the Romanian Communist Party 1965-1989) until he and his wife were executed (by AK47) after a “people's tribunal” held a brief trial, the swiftness of which was aided by the court-appointed defense counsel who declared them both guilty, inter alia, of genocide.   Considering the fate of other fallen dictators, their end was less gruesome than might have been expected.  Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; prime-minister or president of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) had a similar car (among other 600s) but he died undisturbed in his bed.

The blue SWB (short wheelbase) car to the rear is one of the few SWB models fitted with a divider between the front & rear compartments, the structure including a pair of hand-crafted timber writing tables and a refrigerated bar in the centre.  It was delivered in 1977 to the Iranian diplomatic service and maintained for the Shah’s use.  The 1969 SWB to the right (identified as a US market car by the disfiguring headlight treatment) had a less eventful past, purchased by a California real estate developer who took advantage of the Mercedes-Benz EDP (European Delivery Program, discontinued in 2020 after some 60 years), collecting the 600 from the Stuttgart factory.  With due respect to Californian property developers (and Paul VI (1897-1978; pope 1963-1978) who had a very special one), more than any other car the 600 seemed to attract dictators, leading drug dealers, megalomaniacs and those with dubious past or present (many owing several), the roll-call including:

Park Chung Hee (1917–1979; President of RoK (Republic of Korea (South Korea)) 1962-1979).

Comrade Enver Hoxha (1908-1985; dictator of Albanian 1944-1985) who was more of a Stalinist than comrade Stalin.

Pol Pot (Saloth Sâr; 1925–1998; dictator of the communist (Maoist) state of Democratic Kampuchea (Cambodia) 1975-1979).

François "Papa Doc" Duvalier (1907–1971; President of Haiti 1957-1971).

Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier (1951–2014; President of Haiti 1971-1986) who would have been a disappointment to his father.

Jean-Bédel Bokassa (1921–1996; President or Emperor of the CAR (Central African Republic) 1966-1979) who was never convicted of cannibalism.

Comrade Leonid Brezhnev (1906–1982; Soviet leader 1964-1982) who was fond of cars but an appallingly bad driver.

Comrade Fidel Castro (1926–2016; Prime Minister or President of Cuba 1959-2008).

Robert Mugabe (1924–2019; Prime Minister or President of Zimbabwe 1980-2017) who started off well.

Hirohita (Emperor Shōwa) 1901–1989; Emperor of Japan 1926-1989), the last of the World War II leaders and the one who worked out (after the dropping of two A-bombs) that "...the war situation has developed not necessarily to Japan's advantage".   

Jomo Kenyatta (circa 1897–1978; Prime Minister (1963-1964) & president of Kenya (1964-1978).

Daniel arap Moi (1924–2020; President of Kenya 1978-2002).

Ferdinand Marcos (1917–1989; President of the Philippines 1965-1986), now most famous for his wife having owned thousands of pairs of shoes. 

Kim Il Sung (Kim I, 1912–1994; Great Leader of DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea)) 1948-1994).

Kim Jong Il (Kim II, 1941-2011; Dear Leader of DPRK 1994-2011).

Kim Jong Un (Kim III, b 1982; Supreme Leader of DPRK since 2011 and thus far the dynasty's most entertaining content provider).

Saddam Hussein (1937–2006; President of Iraq 1979-2003).

Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (1919–1980; last Shah of Iran 1941-1979).

Comrade Chairman Mao Zedong (1893–1976; Chairman of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) & paramount leader of the PRC (People's Republic of China) 1949-1976).

Comrade Deng Xiaoping (1904–1997; paramount leader of the PRC (People's Republic of China) 1978-1989).

Norodom Sihanouk (1922–2012; variously, off and on, King, head of state or Prime Minister of Cambodia 1941-2012) for whom the word "mercurial" might have been coined. 

Comrade Nicolae Ceaușescu (1918–1989; General Secretary of the Romanian Communist Party and dictator of Romania 1965-1989) who got the wife he deserved.

Comrade Josip Broz Tito (1892–1980; Prime Minister or President of Yugoslavia 1944-1980) who once threatened to send an assassin to kill comrade Stalin if the Soviet leader sent any more to Belgrade to murder him.  

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, CBE, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, (1928-2003; president of Uganda 1971-1979).  He also claimed the allegedly vacant throne of Scotland 

Mobutu Sese Seko (1930–1997; President of the of the DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo) 1965-1971 and the (renamed) Zaire 1971-1997) for whom the political technique "Mobutoism" (a blend of crony capitalism, repression, murder and looting the state on such a scale was coined, "kleptocracy" not an adequate description. 

Herbert von Karajan (1908–1989; Austrian conductor who was only ever a "Nazi of convenience).

Coco Chanel, (1883-1971; French fashion designer forgiven for her indiscretions).

Hastings Banda (circa 1900-1997; Prime Minister or President of 1964-1994) who wasn't quite as bad as some.

Hosni Mubarak (1928–2020; President of Egypt 1981-2011) who sometimes shouted at Bill Clinton (b 1946; POTUS 1993-2001).

Balthazar Johannes "John" Vorster (1915–1983 Prime Minister (1966-1978) and President of South Africa 1978-1979).

Pieter Willem "P.W." Botha (1916–2006 Prime Minister (1978-1984) and President of South Africa 1984-1989).

Frederik Willem "F.W." de Klerk (1936–2021; President of South Africa 1989-1994) who found the state's 600 Pullman "embarrassingly large and otherwise excessive" and had it locked away in a garage.

General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq (1924-1988; military ruler of Pakistan 1977-1988).

Omar Bongo (1935–2009; President of Gabon 1967-2009) who "stole a few bob".

Silvio Berlusconi (1936-2023; Prime Minister of Italy 1994-1995, 2001-2006 & 2008-2011) who got a bit of fun out of life.

Pablo Escobar (1949–1993; Colombian drug lord, narcoterrorist and zookeeper)

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto (1928–1979; President (1971-1973) and Prime Minister (1973-1977) of Pakistan, a member of one of the several families to have run Pakistan on the same basis as a "small family business".

Jeremy Clarkson (b 1960; former BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) television presenter and now owner of Diddly Squat Farm).  Just as the 600's reputation was beginning to recover from the association with murderous dictators, drug lords and such, it was revealed Mr Clarkson owned one.  Experts suggest there may be no recovering from that.

The Shah's 600s at the Tehran Car Museum.

In exile, the Shah of Iran died of natural causes after being deposed in the 1979 revolution which created the Islamic Republic of Iran under the rule of the Imam, Grand Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini (1900-1989; Supreme Leader, Islamic Republic of Iran, 1979-1989).  The ayatollah's taste in cars was more modest but three of the Shah's Mercedes-Benz 600s are among the dozens on display (over a hundred in storage or undergoing restoration) at the Tehran Car Museum, open to the public Sunday-Wednesday (09:00-17:30) & Thursday & Friday (09:00-18:30).  It is closed on Saturday.   The museum is located at Azadi Square, Special Karaj Road, near Sepah Store while the office is situated on Resalat Highway, not far from Africa Highway, at the Foundation of the Oppressed, Building Number One, Fourth Floor, Cultural Institute of Museums.

That class of clientele associated with the 600 wasn't as drawn to the Volkswagen Phaeton.  For the top VW there were six cylinder petrol and diesel engines and even a V10 diesel but what attracted most interest (if not buyers) was the choice of a 4.2 litre (255 cubic inch) V8 or a 6.0 litre (366 cubic inch) W12, the most potent of the latter rated at a then impressive 444 HP (horsepower).  Unfortunately, most who could afford the hefty price lingered not long over the impressive specification but focused instead on the badge, still so associated with the old Beetle.  By all accounts, the Phaeton was a fine piece of engineering and highly regarded by the critics but, over fifteen years, fewer than 85,000 were sold, the line never profitable and the depreciation on the W12 was famously high, the failure of the range always explained by the lack of cachet the VW brand enjoyed at that end of the market.  Failure is however a relative term, Mercedes-Benz in the 18-odd years between 1963-1981 managed to produce only 2677 of their sinister 600s yet it lent the marque a luster that, although tarnished by some decisions and products of the last quarter-century, lingers to this day, despite the tireless efforts by MBAs to devalue things.  Although doubtlessly also sold at a loss, Mercedes-Benz gained much from the 600; VW got little from the Phaeton.

Porch

Porch (pronounced pawrch or pohrch)

(1) In architecture, an exterior appendage to a building, forming an approach to a doorway, now usually with a roof which may be separate or an extension of that of the main structure; if walls are included, a porch is said to be “vestibule-like”.

(2) An exterior roofed gallery, often partly enclosed; a veranda.

(3) As “the Porch”, the portico or stoa in the agora of ancient Athens, where the Stoic philosopher Zeno of Citium and his followers met.

(4) Applied loosely (often in commerce, especially the real estate business), similar structures such as porticos, balconies, decks, verandas and such.

(5) In aerospace engineering, the platform outside the external hatch of a spacecraft.

1250–1300: From the Middle English porche (covered entrance; roofed structure, usually open on the front and sides, before an entrance to a building), from the Old French porche (porch, vestibule), from the Latin porticus (covered gallery, covered walk between columns, arcade, portico, porch), from porta (city gate, gate; door, entrance), from the primitive Indo European root per- (to lead, pass over).  In the Old English the Latin form was borrowed as portic.  By the late fourteenth century, a porche was understood as a “covered walk or colonnade on the front or side of a building”; by the early 1830s it was used in the US for the structures described in the UK as verandas.  Porch and porchful are nouns, porchless, porchlike & porched are adjectives; the noun plural is porches.

Porch swingers.

Vice-Admiral William Raborn (1905-1990; Director of Central Intelligence, 1965-1966, left) and Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; POTUS 1963-1969, right), sitting on porch swing on the porch of LBJ's boyhood home near Stonewall, Texas, 1965.  Admiral Raborn was a gallant sailor with a fine record but wholly was unsuited handling the politics demanded in the role of heading the CIA and served as the nation's chief spy for little more than a year.  If LBJ appears happy, it's likely because recently he'd been elected POTUS in one of the largest landslides recorded and the troubles caused by the war in Vietnam have yet to consume his presidency.

Some variants of porch are obvious: A “back porch” is a porch at the back of a structure (typically a house) while a “front porch” is at the front; any building with a porch may be described as “porched” (used usually as a modifier).  In architecture there are also what might be called “side porches” but the term is not in general use.  A structure is “porchless” if designed or built without a porch while an “outporch” is a now archaic term meaning “an exterior porch”; it’s of minor interest to historians of architecture because it suggests there was a time free-standing structures also were thought of as porches.  A “porchful” is “the quantity of stuff said to “fill a porch”, those items typically being “porch chairs” or “porch swing” (a seat with armrests and a back, built usually for two, and suspended from the ceiling with hooked chains (or cables) enabling it to rock back & forth.  Collectively such items could be styled “porch furniture” although “patio furniture”, “deck furniture” & “outdoor furniture are now in more common use.  All these pieces might be illuminated by a “porch light” (also as “porch-light” & “porch lamp”, a wall or ceiling-mounted light, often fitted with a protective grill).  Once such accessories have been placed, that constitutes one’s “porchscape” and although tables are not uncommon on larger porches, the term “porch table” seems not to be a thing.

A house with “wrap-around porch”, part of which (left) has been converted to a “sunporch” by the addition of glass panes.

The term “porchway” did not (as the name might suggest) describe an “extended or elongated porch” but was simply a synonym of porch; use is now thought archaic.  A “snow porch” was an enclosed but un-heated structure which was a feature in arctic areas or other places with very cold climates.  Snow porches were accessible from within a dwelling and typically used as storage for firewood and such, the advantage compared with an outside shed being those within didn’t have to walk outside in the cold to fetch a load.  Unlike a “sunroom” (a windowed room optimized for receiving natural light), a “sunporch” was a conventional porch to which windows (sometimes able to be opened) had been added.  In nautical use, a “wetporch” (also called a “moon pool”) was a feature in the hull of a vessel used for lowering equipment into the sea below.  Although used in a number of sub-surface environments and underwater habitats, the structures are most associated with off-shore mining and oil extraction, frequently seen on marine drilling platforms.

117 South Hervey Street, Hope, Hempstead County, Arkansas.

This is the house in which Bill Clinton (b 1946; POTUS 1993-2001) spent the first four years of his life.  In June 1997, it was opened to the public as President William Jefferson Clinton Birthplace Home National Historic Site which was a little opportunistic, his actual birth happening at Hope's now-demolished Julia Chester Hospital, the site now occupied by a funeral home.  The house's porch would be called a “front porch” and although when young Mr Clinton doubtless spent much time “on the porch”, later in life he didn't always “stay on the porch”.

A variant style was the stoop (raised open platform before the entrance of a house, approached by steps and thus neither a veranda nor a porch) and elements of the concept can be seen even in the dwellings uncovered in archaeological digs of prehistoric settlements but stoops seem first to have been so named in the mid eighteenth century to describe the feature in wooden houses in North America (including Canada which shared many of the building styles of the north-eastern US).  Stoop was from the Dutch stoep (flight of steps, doorstep, threshold), from the Middle Dutch, from Proto-Germanic stap- (step).  The Dutch form evolved in South African English as stoep, first recorded in 1797 although oral use may pre-date this.  Stoep was an element of the slur “stoep-sitter” which described a “habitually idle person who spends all day lounging on his stoep”.  Despite being a South African coining, it seems not to have been directly exclusively towards the non-white population, unlike the equivalent form from the US: “porch monkey” (a lazy black person characterized as idling away the hours sitting on a porch).  A modern coining was “porch pirate” (a criminal who practices “porch piracy”, stealing from porches packages delivered by a courier).  Although not a new class of crime, instances have soared with the increasing popularity of on-line shopping and the pattern seems mostly to be opportunistic; porch pirates driving around high-income neighborhoods and stealing whatever cartons are observed, a risky approach in the age of ubiquitous domestic CCTV systems.  However, law enforcement agencies have revealed their analysis indicates some porch piracy may be facilitated by “inside information” with porch pirates “tipped off” (by those somewhere in the supply chain) about desirable or high-value deliveries.

What used to be Standard Christian church architecture.  A narthex is a particular type of porch, many churches having a narthex and one or more porches. 

In church architecture, although Christian churches often had one or more porches, a special case was the narthex, an enclosed passage at the west end of a basilica or church, usually at right angles to the nave and located between the main entrance and the nave.  Theologically (and historically, thus socially), the significance of the narthex in many early Christian and Byzantine basilicas & churches was as well as being a conventional “lobby area”, it was place penitents were required to remain.  Although the archaeological record suggests there may have been some early churches with annexes or even small separate structures located nearby which fulfilled the latter function, narthexes seem quickly to have been integrated.  That means that structurally and architecturally, a narthex was part of the building but theologically was not, its purpose being to permit those not entitled to admission as part of the congregation (mostly catechumens and penitents) nevertheless to hear the service and (hopefully) be encouraged to reform their ways and pursue communion.  For ceremonies other than services, the narthex was otherwise a functional space, the church’s baptismal font often mounted there and in some traditions (both Eastern & Western) worshipers would sometimes anoint themselves and their children with a daub of holy water before stepping foot in the nave; some branches of the Orthodox Church use the narthex for funeral ceremonies.  There were also architectural variations in the early churches which persisted in larger building and cathedrals, the narthex divided in two, (1) an esonarthex (inner narthex) between the west wall and the body of the church proper, separated from the nave and aisles by a wall, trellis or some other means and (2) an external closed space, the exonarthex (outer narthex), a court in front of the church façade with a perimeter defined by on all sides by colonnades.

In the Western Church, reforms removed the requirement to exclude from services those who were not full members of the congregation which of course meant the narthex technically was rendered redundant.  However, the shape churches had assumed with a narthex included had become part of Church tradition so architects continued to include the space, both as part of the nave structure and something semi-separated.  They attracted a number of names, borrowed mostly from secular buildings including vestibule, porch, foyer, hallway, antechamber, anteroom, entrance, entry, entryway, gateway, hall, lobby, portal & portico, the choice dictated sometimes by local tradition, sometimes by the nature of construction and sometimes the choice seems to have been arbitrary.  In the Eastern Orthodox Church, the esonarthex and exonarthex retained distinct liturgical functions, some rituals terminating in the exonarthex while services still exclusively penitential services are usually chanted in the esonarthex.  In dialectal northern English, the casual term for the penitents forced to remain in the narthex was “the narts”.

A example of a portico: 1500 San Ysidro Drive, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles.  Lindsay Lohan livered here for a while during “troubled starlet” phase.

Because there are so many ways porchlike structures can be described, word nerds with a fondness for architecture do like to correct the linguistically sloppy.  In a diary note of 28 June, 1954, documenting an evening in the British Embassy in Washington DC, Winston Churchill’s (1875-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) doctor (Lord Moran (Charles Wilson, 1882-1977; president of the Royal College of Physicians 1941-1949, personal physician to Winston Churchill 1940-1965) recorded telling his patient: “I hope you did not get cold sitting on the balcony in the chill night air.”  “Portico, not balcony, Charles.” he was corrected with a “mischievous smile”.

Porte-cochère of the Jing An Shangri-La Hotel, Shanghai, PRC.  This porte-cochère features what may be the ultimate porch light.  Such lighting structures have been made possible by LED (light emitting diode) technology; before LED's such a thing would have been too maintenance-intensive because of the limited life of bulbs or tubes. 

If a portico sits above a space where vehicles draw up for passengers to alight it becomes a porte-cochère, something now most associated with hotels or the forecourts of commercial buildings.  If a walkway is of any length with a roof supported by rows of pillars, that is a colonnade.  The car is a Mercedes-Benz S-Class (W221, 2005-2013, specifically, a “facelift” version (2009-2013)).  A special version of the W221 (S 300 L) was produced for markets in the Far East which combined the LWB (long wheelbase) platform with the 3.0 litre (183 cubic inch) V6; it was essentially a LWB version of the S 280 (which also, despite the name used the 3.0 V6) sold in many other markets.  The S300 L was produced for the hotel trade and other operators of limousines who didn't want either thirsty V8s or V12s or the less refined diesels.

Lindsay Lohan on a balcony.  Although in general use the terms for such structures are applied loosely, in architecture, a balcony is accessible structure extending from a building and without roof.  Even if a balcony party is covered by a small eave, it is still not a porch.

A portico is best described as an “architectural porch leading to the entrance of a building” so not exactly a “big porch” although most tend to be large scale.  A noted feature of the buildings of Antiquity, a portico is defined by having a roof structure atop a walkway and although many architecture guides insist this must be supported by supported or enclosed within walls, a roof protruding from a building with no such ground-based anchorage (a favourite trick of architects in the mid-twentieth century) can be thought a portico if there’s some sort of walkway beneath.  The essential feature is the provision of shelter from the elements.  Those seeking a bit of visual grandeur (not only the McMansion crew) sometimes will add a pediment (a triangular upper part) atop but architects caution this can look absurd or pretentious on smaller structures because the sense of proportion works best at scale.

The colloquial phrase “hard dog to keep on the porch” is a lament used (perhaps often resignedly) by women of their husband’s or boyfriend’s chronic infidelity, describing men who are unfaithful and generally “difficult to keep an eye on.”  Although long in idiomatic use in the Southern US, in 1999 it came to wider attention when used by crooked Hillary Clinton of her husband, serial philander Bill Clinton.  Crooked Hillary must have picked up the expression while living in Arkansas; she began her ascent of the political and financial ladder by marrying Bill Clinton and with every election of him there as attorney-general (1977-1979) or governor (1979-1981 & 1983-1992), voters received a free copy of crooked Hillary.  When he became POTUS, she remained part of the package as FLOTUS 1993-2001, the consensus among political scientists that “he’d never have made it without her and vice-versa”.  Wives often of course do sometimes leave husbands who refuse to “stay on the porch” but crooked Hillary stayed and that was a defensible decision because, like many transactional relationships, the choice of “stay or go” is a thing of cost-benefit analysis; in a marriage, like most of life, for everything you do there’s a price to be paid.  

Problem-solver crooked Hillary finds a solution.

Crooked Hillary Clinton (b 1947; FLOTUS 1993-2001, far left), Chelsea Clinton (b 1980; FDOTUS 1993-2001, centre left), Bill Clinton, centre right) and Buddy (1997-2002; FD²OTUS 1997-2001, far right), strolling over the White House lawn, prior to a two-week vacation at Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, 18 August 1998.  Unfortunately, crooked Hillary's expectation she'd found a companion loyal enough to “stay on the porch” wasn't realized, Buddy killed in a road accident outside the Clintons' home in Chappaqua, New York after running off to chase a car (though the vehicle wasn't one of the rare Monica 560s).  Whether to this day crooked Hillary blames her husband for “giving Buddy ideas” isn't known but certainly, he set the dog a bad example. 

What Can I Say (1983), original vinyl pressing by Gail Davies.  Record store staff weren’t always fastidious when applying the adhesive promotional stickers.

South of the Mason-Dixon Line, the expression must also have had some currency in the form “hard dog to keep under the porch” which indicates, at least in some cases or places, the particular significance of the architectural space was roof rather than floor.  The C&W (Country & Western) song You're a Hard Dog (To Keep Under the Porch) was co-written by Susanna Clark (1939–2012) and the extraordinarily prolific (credited with over 4000 C&W songs) Harlan Howard (1927-2002); it was first recorded by Gail Davies (b 1948) and released on What Can I Say (1983), her fifth studio album (a question mark not used in the album’s title).

Porch joke

An unemployed man went door-to-door, seeking jobs.  Impressed by the work-ethic, after agreeing an hourly rate, one resident handed him a brush and two large cans of green house-paint, telling him: “You can go and paint the porch out back.”  Three hours later the man returned and said: “I done finished the painting mister and I done a good job but I swear to you sir, that ain’t no Porsh, it be a Ferrari.”  In the original German, Porsche is pronounced with two syllables (Paw-shuh), not the sometimes heard, single syllable Porsh.  In German, the final “e” is pronounced as a short uh.

Some paint required: 1954 Ferrari 500 Mondial, as sold (top left) and on-track in period (top right), a fire-damaged 1972 Dino 246 GT, by Ferrari (bottom left) and a 1972 Dino 246 GT in Medium Green Metallizzato over Nero leather (bottom right).  It's believed the factory finished only 21 of the 2,295 246 GTs coupés or 1,274 246 GTS spyders (targas) in Medium Green Metallizzato but another shade of green, Verde Medio Nijinsky, was rarer still, only three of those leaving the line.  The fire-damaged Dino was advertised for sale at US$129,500 and was sold although the price paid was not disclosed.  The wrecked 500 Mondial (the second built and one of 13 examples with Pininfarina spider coachwork) at auction in August 2023 realized US$1.875 million.  It has yet to resurface, restored or otherwise.

A classic Queenslander with the porches the locals tend to call verandas.  Many Queenslanders were built on stilts: (1) to encourage natural cooling, (2) as a form of flood mitigation, (3) to facilitate easier pest and termite control and (4) to make hilly sites adaptable to house construction.

The term “vernacular architecture” entered the jargon of the profession in 1964 after being coined by Austrian-born US architect Bernard Rudofsky (1905–1988).  It describes indigenous designs or methods of construction that evolved organically to suit local climates, available construction materials, social traditions and specific human needs.  In Queensland, Australia, the signature “vernacular architecture” was and remains the “Queenslander” although they’re less common than in their heyday.  In its classic form, a Queenslander can be imagined as a “house with a wrap-around porch” although the local term has long been “veranda”.  At scale, the style seems to have emerged in the 1840s as the optimal way, for a given footprint, to maximize air-flow and reduce internal temperatures, things of consequence in the sub-tropics and, in the age before electricity (let alone air-conditioning) much appreciated by British & European migrants from more temperate, less humid regions.  Much of Queensland also was subject to hard rain and the verandas provided expansive living, eating and even sleeping spaces which could be used rain, hail or shine.  Snow and ice rarely was an issue.

The Erechtheion and the Caryatid Porch

The Erechtheion on the Acropolis, Athens, Greece.

One of the world’s most famous porches is the most striking feature of the Erechtheion (from the Ancient Greek Ἐρέχθειον (Erékhtheion)), an Ancient Greek Ionic temple-telesterion on the north side of the Acropolis, dedicated to the goddess Athena.  Built late in the fifth century BC, the Erechtheion was one of the first major projects following the devastation of the Greco-Persian Wars, the re-building of the Acropolis thus vested with all the symbolic ambition of a “civilization reborn”.  Given that, while the mathematically precise lines of the Parthenon impart a projection of order, rationality, and imperial confidence, the Erechtheion seems architecturally anarchic but it too was a piece of messaging, preserving ancient, sacred traditions within the new Classical architectural.  Unlike so many of the neat, consistent, often symmetrical structures which have survived from Antiquity, the Erechtheion is an architectural outlier because the design needed simultaneously to solve several political, religious and topographical problems.  Even today, it would be a challenge on the site to fulfil the demands while achieving the symmetrical perfection normally associated with Classical Greek temples.  For those reasons, anyone undertaking a tour of Roman and Greek ruins would, on first sight, find the Erechtheion startling, the look fragmented and seemingly so improvised many might assume additions have over the years been “tacked-on”.  The irregularity was deliberate, the location not being dedicated to a single deity; as well as honoring King Erechtheus, the architects were compelled to incorporate several ancient cult sites and sacred objects associated with Athena, Poseidon, and a grab-bag of local heroes and ancestral cults.

From the right angle, on the right day the Erechtheion can make a memorable photograph.

Mostly though, despite the name, the myth most celebrated was the legend of the site being the place where Athena and Poseidon competed for patronage of Athens, dedicated cultists holding the soil contained physical remnants of the epic contest including a sacred salt-water spring, Poseidon’s trident mark etched in the rock and Athena’s olive tree.  Because these relics of the past were in architecturally inconvenient places, the structure of the Erechtheion had to be “built around them”, thus precluding the simple rectangular floor plan and associated motifs which are such a marker of the temples from Antiquity.  The topography was also significant, the Acropolis rock beneath sloping sharply, meaning the surface was uneven.  As a piece of civil engineering this could of course have been levelled (if one had enough time and slaves, mountains could be moved) but that would have disturbed the relics so the work proceeded on what was a most irregular surface.  That made construction more of a challenge but did result in one of Antiquity’s most striking temples, the east and west sides at different heights, the interior chambers located on floors and varied levels and porches are placed asymmetrically, one consequence being it emerging as a complex of interconnected sanctuaries rather than the more familiar, single unified hall.

Within are several shrines, the eastern section dedicated to Athena Polias (Athena of the City), while the western portions were associated with Poseidon-Erechtheus and hero cults (best thought of as “best supporting actors” in Academy Award (Oscar) terms) meaning the entrances and their associated porches and portici served different ritual functions.  Although the layout and form were dictated by circumstances, in many ways, what was done proved a harbinger for much of public architecture in the centuries to come as the shape of “multi-function” buildings began increasingly to include physical segregation between spaces in both the horizontal and vertical with separate provisions for ingress and egress.  So while not “geometrically pure” in the Greek way, there’s an organic charm to the Erechtheion although Athenian citizens upon a first sight must have thought it peculiar or even weird architecture; the “shock of the new” is not unique to modernity.

The Caryatid Porch, the Porch of the Maidens.

The structure’s most famous and oft-photographed feature is the south porch, supported by a half dozen sculpted female figures: the Caryatids.  Caryatids was from the Middle French cariatide, from the Latin caryatides, from the Ancient Greek Καρυάτιδες (Karuátides), the noun plural of Καρυᾶτις (Karuâtis) (a priestess of Artemis, female figures used as bearing-shafts), from καρυατίζω (karuatízō) (dance the Karyatid festival dance) from Καρύαι (Karúai) (a town in Laconia with a temple of Artemis and the site of festivals in her honor).  The orthodox etymology is disputed by some scholars but the literal translation of karyatides is “maidens of Karyai” (an ancient Peloponnese settlement) and the young ladies from there were legendarily beautiful & healthy (and thus ideal “breeding stock”, good genes then as sought in mothers as they were in livestock).  In the language of architecture, caryatids were sculpted female figures used as supports in the manner of a column or pillar.  By necessity of physics, most caryatids supported the entablature (all of that part of a classical temple above the capitals of the columns; includes the architrave, frieze, and cornice but not the roof) on the head rather than the raised arms often seen in free-standing statutes, this done for reasons of structural integrity rather than aesthetics although it was a nod also to the notion of the girls of Karyai often being depicted as a canephora (basket-bearer), carrying to feasts of the goddesses Athena and Artemis fruits, nuts or sacred objects in woven cane baskets they placed on their heads.

The Parthenon on the Acropolis, Athens, Greece.

The Parthenon is the classic example of the Greek temple and more representative of the type than the Erechtheion.  It was proto-second wave feminist comrade Chairman Mao (Mao Zedong 1893–1976; chairman of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) 1949-1976) who reminded Chinese men “Women hold up half the sky” although he made the famous remark in 1968 at the height of the Cultural Revolution (1966-1976) which makes for an amusing historical juxtaposition.  Still, it does suggest that even if contemporary Athenians might have thought the Erechtheion a bit weird, the sight of a half-dozen young ladies holding up a roof built by a culture which was patriarchal (as was then the way) would have pleased the comrade Chairman who’d have felt assured the architects were good Maoists, the PRC’s (People’s Republic of China) first constitution (1954) implying gender equality in Article 85 (Citizens of the People's Republic of China are equal before the law) and made explicit in Article 86 (Citizens of the People's Republic of China are equal before the law) & Article 96 (Women in the People's Republic of China enjoy equal rights with men in all spheres of political, economic, cultural, social and domestic life).  Reading the PRC’s 1954 constitution, it clear the place was as much as a paradise for citizens as the Soviet Union must have been based on comrade Stalin’s (1878-1953; Soviet leader 1924-1953) 1936 constitution although in Article 86 of the PRC’s document it was mentioned rights could be denied to those the state declared “insane”, a clause which proved handy over the years, as did a similar provision in the USSR.

The Parthenon, Centennial Park, Nashville, Tennessee.

Designed by architect William Crawford Smith (1837–1899), the Parthenon which stands in Centennial Park, Nashville, Tennessee, was built in 1897 as part of the Tennessee Centennial Exposition.  A full-scale reproduction of the original, it's now an art museum and in the Treasury Room are displayed plaster replicas of the Parthenon Marbles, cast from the original sculptures.  In the nineteenth century, Nashville was one of a number of cities around the world often styled "the Athens of the South" and this doubtless had some influence on the choice of the building as the exposition's centrepiece but while some of the other structures erected for the event were in the style of buildings from antiquity, the Parthenon was the only one to use exact dimensions.  The 1897 structure was intended to last only for the duration of the exposition and was thus built with plaster, wood & brick but such was the local support for its retention it was left standing, soon beginning to deteriorate.  By 1920 however it was a noted tourist attraction and had become accepted as a feature of the city so, on the same foundations, it was rebuilt in concrete, the project completed in 1931.  Concrete however doesn't possess the same qualities of durability as granite and marble so for the replica to maintain its appearance and structural integrity, progressive replacements of components will be required, engineers noting the essentially modular nature of the construction means it may never need wholly to be re-built.  If it endures long enough, it may end up as something of a Ship of Theseus.

The new headquarters of the state media’s China Daily during construction.  When finished if looked less confronting but one can see why the President Xi knew there had to be a good, hard crackdown on “weird architecture” being erected.

Much in the PRC has of course changed since comrade Chairman Mao’s time although gender equality remains constitutionally entrenched and that no women ever have made it to the Politburo’s ruling Central Committee may simply reflect them not trying hard enough, after all, during all those decades the One-Child Policy (1980-2016) was in effect, it’s not as if they could complain about the demands on their time made by raising a large family.  Still, the spirit of “Women hold up half the sky” must remain current thought in Beijing but whether President Xi Jinping (b 1953; General Secretary of the CCP & paramount leader of the PRC since 2012) would have approved of either the maidens of the Caryatid Porch "holding up all the roof" or the Erechtheion’s many other architectural idiosyncrasies may be doubtful.  As early as 2014, not best pleased by the stylistic exuberance seen in China's recent skyscrapers, Mr Xi called for an end to what he called “weird architecture”, telling planners buildings should be “suitable, economic, green and pleasing to the eye” rather than “oversized, xenocentric & weird”.  It might be concluded that while he’d have admired the elegant simplicity of the lines of the Parthenon, Mr Xi would have used of the Erechtheion the same critique he may (in words echoing an earlier critic of aesthetics) have levelled at what he was seeing on the Beijing skyline: “muddle, chaotic, dissonant, confused and intentionally ugly”.  China’s architects he may have accused of building stuff that was “weird” but, well-skilled at reading between the CCP's lines, they’d have understood they’d just been labeled “formalists”.  Carefully, they took note.

Now replicas but, thousands of years on, still doing the job.

Although at the time the caryatids were a highly unconventional addition to a major temple, as an architectural motif, they were not unique as replacements for columns or pillars, the later male versions being the telamon or atlas; unlike the caryatids, the male analogues sometimes were carved on a vast scale.  Nor was the structural technique only anthropomorphic, roofs sometimes supported by renderings in the shape of swords, serpents, fish or other wildlife although what some Instagrammers may not realize is the figures today dutifully holding up the roof of the Erechtheion’s Caryatid Porch are immaculately rendered reproductions, the originals safely preserved as displays in the Acropolis Museum except for one which sits in the British Museum.  That one was “obtained” by Lord Elgin (1766–1841) during his expeditions to Greece between 1800-1803 when he “purchased” (disputed by the government of Greece which suggests something like “plundered”) what came to be known as the “Elgin Marbles”.