Tit

Tit (pronounced tit)

(1) Any of numerous small active old world songbirds of the family Paridae, especially those of the former genus Parus.

(2) Medieval slang for a girl or young woman thought something of a minx.

(3) A small, worthless or worn-out poor horse; a nag (archaic).

(4) Slang for a despicable or unpleasant person (archaic).

(5) Slang for a teat (used in agricultural and other circles).

(6) As tit-bit, a small morsel of food.

(7) One of the many vulgar slang terms for the human female’s breast (mammary gland).

Circa 1600: From the mid sixteenth century Middle English titte, from the pre 1100 Old English titt and cognate with the Middle Low German & Middle Dutch titte, the German as zitze, the Icelandic tittr and the Norwegian titta.  The Scandinavian forms applied to small birds and the Old English titt was a variant of teat.  The modern slang variation, attested from 1928, seems to be a recent reinvention from teat, used apparently without awareness it’s a throwback to the original form although the form is on record from 1746 as an English and Irish diminutive of teat, used in nurseries.

In ornithology, tits, chickadees, and titmice constitute the Paridae, a large family of small passerine birds found mostly in Africa and the more temperate regions of the Northern Hemisphere and Africa.  Most were formerly classified in the genus Parus and in the English-speaking the terms chickadee & titmice tend to be used in North America while its tits elsewhere.  The creatures are mainly small, stocky, woodland species with short, stout bills, some with crests and ranging in length between 4-9 inches (100-220 mm), they have a mixed diet including seeds and insects and have adapted well to co-habitation with humans in urban environments.  It’s a charming linguistic coincidence that ornithological taxonomy has given English the black-breasted tit (Periparus rufonuchalis), the cinnamon-breasted tit (Melaniparus pallidiventris) and the stripe-breasted tit (Melaniparus fasciiventer).

A pair of small tits and a pair of great tits: Bushtits (Psaltriparus minimus, left) and great tits (Parus major, right), the word order of the latter descriptor distinguishing use from the more common idiomatic form "a great pair of tits".

Among the smaller tits is the bushtit (Psaltriparus minimus), found in the US Pacific Northwest, the tiny songbird typically 100-110 mm (3.9-4.3 inches) in length and weighing 4–6 grams (0.14–0.21 oz).  The Pygmy tit (Psaltria exilis) is smaller and a monotypic now within the genus Psaltria (it was previously placed, along with the rest of its family, with the true tits (Paridae).  The largest of the tits is the widely distributed great tit (Parus major) which measures usually between 135-155 mm (5.3-6.1 inches) in length and weighs between 16 to 21 grams. (6-.81 oz).

The origin of familiar use of “tit” as slang for “breast, human female mammary gland” (now also as "tittie" or "titty" although they also enjoyed other meanings) lies in the Old English titt (teat, nipple, breast), used as a variant of teat or from the dialectal and nursery diminutive plural variant “titties”.  Perhaps surprisingly, it appears the modern slang use in this context (predictably, almost always in the plural) dates only from 1928 (oral use may have pre-dated this) and the adoption (actually a re-invention) is thought unrelated to the original form.  The tradition was however long because in the Middle English the singular was often tete or tate, often used figuratively to mean both “source of (spiritual) nourishment” and by the late fourteenth century, an “object of erotic attraction”.  In modern slang use, it appears the use of “tits” was almost exclusively male until the 1970s when it became of the words “reclaimed” by feminists as a political statement although, as a general principle women seem still to prefer “boobs” although there seems more acceptance of "fake tits" as a critique.

By the 1540s “tit” was used for a small or unproductive horse, the sense of something “diminutive” transferring over later centuries to other small creatures, most enduringly in birds such as the titmouse, tom-tit, titlark, titling, tit-babbler et al although not all survived to be added to modern taxonomy such as the late nineteenth century titty-todger (a wren).  In the Nordic nations, the Icelandic tittr, the Norwegian tita and the Old Norse titling were all used of small birds but etymologists are uncertain about the connection, the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) suggesting the link was of either something small rather than anything specific to birds or even onomatopoeic, drawn from the “chip-chipping” sound of small songbirds.  At least by 1706 it was common slang for “titmouse” and by 1734 was used figuratively of persons but between the sixteenth & eighteenth centuries a “tit” could be a “girl or young woman” and while that could be merely descriptive, it was applied often in the deprecatory sense of “a hussy or minx” (though apparently not actually a prostitute).

Big tits are not always what they seem.

Some years ago, an image circulated on internet's “usual suspect” sites; it purported to show a wax-paper bag from the  1930s which originally had been the packaging for “Big Tits Potato Chips” manufactured by the Tart-Chestnut Company of Dunn, North Carolina.  The back-story behind the name was said to come from “Big Tits” being the nickname of the rather corpulent Mr Titus Tart, one of the operation's co-owners who may have been over-fond of his company’s products.  As might be suggested by a product called “Big Tits” coming from a concern called “Tart-Chestnut”, it was fake news although that didn't stop debates about whether the use of “tit” in its modern sense was part of the US vernacular in the Carolinas by the 1930s, some even suggesting the linguistic innovation may not have penetrated south of the Mason-Dixon line because dictionaries of slang may have been banned from public libraries on grounds of obscenity.  Plausibility might have been enhanced had the image been rendered with a little patina although as an emulation of 1930s packaging it did seem a creditable job, the art deco typeface a nice period touch.

The form “tit-bit” (small, delicate snack of food; a sweet morsel) was in use by the 1630s and was synonymous with “tidbit” which was in concurrent use, the coining of that thought to be the dialectal tid (fond, solicitous, tender (itself perhaps influenced by the relevant sense of “tit”)) + bit (in the sense of “a morsel”).  Also surviving into modern use is “tit for tat”, an expression indicating “a retaliatory return), first documented in the 1550s and from this ultimately came “titfer” which appeared in UK dictionaries of rhyming slang as a substitute for “hat” (in from the “that” element).  “Tit for tat” may have been a variant of the earlier “tip for tap” (blow for blow) which carried the same implication.  The game tick-tack-toe (noughts & crosses) was so named at least by 1892 but according to oral historians, decades before that it had been known as tit-tat-toe (by 1852, in reminiscences of earlier years), the names thought derived from the sound made by the pencil on the slate with which it originally was played by schoolboys.  The modern slang “taking the bull by the tits” is an absurdist variant of “taking the bull by the horns” (confronting a problem and dealing with it in a manner prompt, resolute & effective”); it suggests someone is doing something wrong or has misunderstood (ie they have NFI).

Gaffer & Duct

Gaffer (pronounced gaf-er)

(1) The chief electrician on the set of a movie or television show.

(2) In informal use, a boss, supervisor, or manager.

(3) In informal use, an old man, especially one living in the country (often used affectionately or patronizingly).

(4) A foreman or overseer in charge of a group of physical laborers; the coach or manager of a sports team.

(5) In glassmaking, a master glassblower responsible for shaping glassware.

(6) Slang for boy or youth (unique to Ireland); used in maritime regions to refer to the baby of the house.

(7) A type of tape used usually as a safety device to tape-down cables to reduce the risk of tripping hazards (technically gaffer’s tape).

(8) A boat's crew member whose duty is to gaff (a tool consisting of a large metal hook with a handle or pole, especially the one used to pull large fish aboard a boat) a (large) fish once the angler has reeled it in.

(9) In slang, as “to gaff”, “gaffered” or ”to gaffer”, a description of some temporary or roughly improvised repair using gaffer tape or some other quick and dirty method; “to make a gaff” as a description of a mistake is a variation of this.

1565–1575: Thought likely to be a contraction of godfather, but with the vowels influenced by grandfather.  The use to describe “an elderly rustic" was apparently based on continental analogies (compare gammer and the related French compère and German Gevatter).  It seems originally to have been a term of respect, also applied familiarly; from "old man" and was by 1841 extended to foremen and supervisors generally.  In UK police forces, it’s common slang to describe the officer in charge of a particular section or squad and in Association Football (soccer), the head coach or manager.  In the early twentieth century, it was carried over to the electrician or technician in charge of lighting on a film set because the natural lighting on early film sets was adjusted by opening and closing flaps in the tent, these cloths called gaff cloths or gaff flaps.  Because the technician used a long pole with a hook known as a “gaff hook”, he came to be known as a “the gaff hooker” and, as English does when users find there are too many syllables, this was truncated to “the gaffer”.  The tape later used for electrical cables was almost exclusively in the gaffers' toolboxes and thus became “gaffer’s tape”.  Now it’s known almost always as “gaffer tape”.  Gaffer is a noun; the noun plural is gaffers.

Ad-hoc wrap: 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais two door coupe, "duct tape" version.

Duct (pronounced duhkt)

(1) Any tube, canal, pipe, or conduit by which a fluid, air, or other substance is conducted or conveyed.

(2) In anatomy and zoology, a tube, canal, or vessel conveying a body fluid, especially a glandular secretion or excretion.

(3) In botany, a cavity or vessel formed by elongated cells or by many cells.

(4) In the infrastructure of electricity, a single enclosed runway for conductors or cables.

(5) In a printing press, the reservoir for ink.

(6) Guidance; direction; quotation (obsolete).

1640-1650: From the Latin ductus (conveyance of water; a leading, a conduit pipe), noun use of the past participle of ducere (to lead) from dūcō (I lead, draw), from the primitive Indo-European root deuk (to lead).  Use has endured in the Medieval Latin aqueduct and the high rank of aristocracy, duke, drawn from the past participle of ducere (to lead); the construct was duc (variant stem of dūcere (to lead)) + tus (suffix of verbal action).  The meaning in an anatomical sense (vessel of an animal body by which blood, lymph etc, are conveyed) was first noted in the 1660s while that of a "conduit or channel" dates from 1713.  Use in a variety of architectural and engineering contexts to describe "tubes in a structure" developed after the use to describe an "air tube" in 1884.  Duct & ducting are nouns & verbs, ducted is a verb & adjective and ductal is an adjective; the noun plural is ducts.

Duct tape was in 1894 originally sold under the name duck tape, long, non-adhesive strips of plain cotton duck cloth used in various mechanical processes.  The name was transferred to a plastic-coated adhesive tape used by U.S. soldiers in World War II, probably because of its waterproof qualities (ie the sense of "water off a duck's back").  It continued in civilian use after the war, and the name shifted to duct tape by 1958, perhaps because the most common use was in air ducts, which also accounts for its still standard silver-gray color.

Duct and Gaffer Tape

Duct tape scene: Lindsay Lohan as Tess Conway in Freaky Friday (2003).

Often casually regarded as interchangeable, duct and gaffer tapes are constructed differently because they’re intended for different purposes.  Indeed, using one for the intended application of the other can cause messy or worse results.  They’re similar in that both are hand-tearable, conform well to uneven surfaces and tend to be sold in the same packaging and sizes.  Duct tape is constructed with a polyethylene (PE) cloth backing, a material that makes it waterproof and contains an aggressive, rubber-based glue, allowing it easily to adhere to many of surfaces.   Duct tape has (1) a shiny, reflective backing, (2) is for semi-permanent or permanent applications and (3) tends to leave an adhesive residue when removed.  A specialized variation is a heat-resistant foil (not cloth) duct tape, useful for sealing heating and cooling ducts.  For decades silvery gray, it’s now available in colors and even printed designs.

Duct tape fashion: Lindsay Lohan in duct tape cocktail dress.  Tape is 3M Utility Duct Tape 2929 (Silver) and the shoes are Jimmy Choo Patent Leather Sandals.

Gaffer tape is made with a coated cloth backing and a synthetic, rubber-based glue.  Because it doesn’t have the PE backing, gaffer tape is not waterproof but the barrier properties in the backing make it moisture resistant in most cases.  This means it shouldn’t be used for waterproofing but is suitable for temporary use in high-humidity and moist environments. The adhesive on gaffer tape is less aggressive than duct tape, rendering it more easily removed when temporary need is over.  Because of its origins in the theatre, gaffer tape traditionally had a matte white or black backing to reduce the reflection of light but is now available in colored gloss finishes.  It's important gaffer tape be (relatively) easy to remove because in most cases its use intrinsically is temporary, typically to render cables run here and there safe, ensuring they['re not a trip hazard.  Unfortunately, because the adhesive used needs still to be strong enough to stick to surfaces as long as is required, a residue can be left on some surfaces, notably carpets and this is more apparent on some colors.  Many techs have been shouted at by those upset at what's been done to their carpets.

Piet Mondrian’s 1941 New York City 1 as it (presumably correctly) sat in the artist's studio in 1944 (left) and as it has since 1945 been exhibited (upside-down) in New York and Düsseldorf (right).  Spot the difference. 

The term “duct tape fashion” seems to have become a generic, possibly because of the dark association of the stuff with kidnappings and abductions but many of the products so described actually use different types of tape, such as the New York City series of abstract works created in the 1940s with multi-colored paper tape by the Dutch artist Piet Mondrian’s (1872-1944).  The critics responded well to the works although one version, first exhibited at New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) in 1945, has since 1980 hung upside down in the Düsseldorf Museum as part of the Kunstsammlung Nordrhein-Westfalen’s collection.  The revelation critics and curators for 80 years discussed and interpreted Mondrian’s meaning despite it being upside down was greeted with glee by those sceptical of modern art but the piece was unsigned, sometimes an indication the artist deemed it unfinished but he left no notes.

On the catwalk: The Black Tape Project at Miami Swim Week, July 2023.

Predictably, the “duct tape bikini” was, in terms of publicity generated, the highlight of Miami Swim Week in July 2023 but for some it was a surprise to see the return of the (trademarked) Black Tape Project because in New York, not six months earlier, Joel Alvarez (creator of the project), announced the brand had staged its “final show”.  Stories duly were written but at Swim Week it transpired the “brand” being discontinued was “Joel Alvarez” and that having “…buried Joel Alvarez on that stage in front of the world”, henceforth he’d be known as “Drakhan Blackhart” and nobody denied that was a wonderful name.  On Instagram (@thekingoftape), Mr Blackhart informed the world he was the “…creator of the Black Tape Project™.  I am the world's only body tape expert, founder and pioneer of the Body Tape Art Genre.  Because of my concepts, I've been able to travel to over 42 countries and counting.”

Nice work if you can get it: An artist dedicated to his craft, Mr Blackhart “hand-applies” the black tape and studs.

Less became more during Mr Blackhart’s half-year hiatus from tape shows because what showed up on the Miami catwalk was even skimpier than what had been seen before; always minimalist, the results were now tending to the minuscule so as well as creating much interest, production costs were lowered because less tape was now required.  Of course, reducing the volume of tape brings artistic challenges because there’s less scope to introduce differences in the designs but it’s not for no reason the imaginative Mr Blackhart describes himself as the “King of Tape”: While conceptually all the installations (that does seem the right word) on the models were by definition “variations on a theme of black tape”, there was enough variety in the placement to keep the audience’s attention.  What the approach does mean is that the point must soon be reached where the possibilities have been exhausted so it may not be long before Black Tape Project models appear adorned with tapes of different colors and that could create a whole new language although there seems not reason why colors can't appear under the "Black Tape" brand.

The language of catwalk tape: From the Black Tape Project (left) and Miami Art Body Tape (right), Miami Swim Week, 2023.

The “duct tape fashion” business is also becoming crowded, Miami Art Body Tape presenting its debut show at a Miami Swim Week event in June.  While he discussed the aesthetic, brand founder Andrei Stamate also revealed interesting technical aspects about the use of the technique, explaining the tape is more difficult to apply than it is to remove and the peeling off “…doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think”; it’s assumed he was speaking from the models’ point of view.  The “body tape” used is of course different in construction and adhesive quality from industrial types such as gaffer or duct-tape but nor was it quite the same as medical grade tape or the famous “Hollywood tape”, the latter better known by the colloquial term “tit tape”.  Body tape “…sticks very well but if the models sweat it could come off” Mr Stamate revealed and has a better grip than the metallic types which he described as “sensitive”.

Adhesive

Adhesive (pronounced ad-hee-siv or ad-hee-ziv)

(1) Something coated with glue, paste, mastic, or other sticky substance (which may be intended for either temporary or permanent purposes); a substance that causes something to adhere, as glue or rubber cement.

(2) Figuratively, tenacious or clinging.

(3) Sticking fast; sticky; apt or tending to adhere; clinging.

(4) In physics, of or relating to the molecular force that exists in the area of contact between unlike bodies and that acts to unite them.

(5) The quality or degree of stickiness in the physical sense; relating to adhesion.

(6) In philately, a postage stamp with a gummed back, as distinguished from one embossed or printed on an envelope or card.

1660s: The adjective meaning “sticky, cleaving or clinging” was from the French adhésif, from the Latin adhaesivus, from adhaereō (supine adhaesum). The French construct was formed from the Latin adhaes-, past-participle stem of adhaerere (stick to), the source also of adherent.  The noun was derived from the adjective and emerged in 1881, original as a descriptor of postage stamps (as a clipping of the original (1840) adhesive stamp, the word later adopted in philately as a technical distinction between the classic stick-on stamps and other types.  Around the turn of the twentieth century, it was used in the general sense of "a substance that causes to adhere", as a point of differentiation from simple glue.  The spelling adhæsive is obsolete.

Because of the use in engineering, science, industry & commerce, adhesive is a popular modifier, the forms including adhesive capsulitis, adhesive tape, hot melt adhesive, self-adhesive, adhesive bra, adhesive bandage, adhesive binding, adhesive plaster & adhesive tape.  Words related to adhesive (in the physical or figurative sense depending on context) sense include gummy, sticky, adherent, holding, hugging, pasty, adhering, agglutinant, attaching, clinging, clingy, gelatinous, glutinous, gooey, gummed, mucilaginous, resinous, tenacious, viscid & viscous.  Adhesive is a noun & adjective, adhesion is a noun, adhesively is an adverb and adhesiveness is a noun; the noun plural is adhesives.

Piet Mondrian, neo-plastic painting and adhesive tape

Piet Mondrian’s (1872-1944) 1941 New York City 1 is a series of abstract works created with multi-colored adhesive paper tape.  One version first exhibited at New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) in 1945 has since 1980 hung in the Düsseldorf Museum as part of the Kunstsammlung Nordrhein-Westfalen’s collection and recently it was revealed for the past 77 years it has been hanging upside down.  The work is unsigned, sometimes an indication the artist deemed it unfinished but Mondrian left no notes.

Mondrian’s 1941 New York City 1 as it (presumably correctly) sat in the artist's studio in 1944 (left) and as it was since 1945 exhibited (upside-down) in New York and Düsseldorf (right).  Spot the difference. 

The decades-long, trans-Atlantic mistake came to light during a press conference held to announce the Kunstsammlung’s new Mondrian exhibition.  During research for the show, a photograph of Mondrian’s studio taken shortly after his death showed the work oriented in the opposite direction and this is being treated as proof of the artist’s intension although experts say the placement of the adhesive tape on the unsigned painting also suggests the piece was hung upside down.  How the error occurred is unclear but when first displayed at MOMA, it may have been as simple as the packing-crate being overturned or misleading instructions being given to the staff.  However, 1941 New York City 1 will remain upside because of the condition of the adhesive strips.  “The adhesive tapes are already extremely loose and hanging by a thread,” a curator was quoted as saying, adding that if it were now to be turned-over, “…gravity would pull it into another direction.  And it’s now part of the work’s story.”

1941 New York City 1, Paris Museum of Modern Art.

The curator made the point that as hung, the interlacing lattice of red, yellow, black and blue adhesive tapes thicken towards the bottom, suggesting a sparser skyline but that “…the thickening of the grid should be at the top, like a dark sky” and another of Mondrian’s creations in a similar vein (the oil on canvas New York City I (1942)) hangs in the Musée National d’Art Moderne in Paris with the thickening of lines at the top.  Whether Mondrian intended 1941 New York City 1 to be part of his oeuvre or it was just a mock-up in adhesive tape for the oil-on canvas composition to follow isn’t known, artists having many reasons for leaving works unsigned.  Mondrian was one of the more significant theorists of abstract art and its withdrawal from nature and natural subjects.  "Denaturalization" he proclaimed to be a milestone in human progress, adding: "The power of neo-plastic painting lies in having shown the necessity of this denaturalization in painterly terms... to denaturalize is to abstract... to abstract is to deepen."   

Lindsay Lohan adhesive stickers.

Adhesives in applied structural engineering

Conventional "backless" bras.

The term "backless bra" can be misleading in that most of them aren't actually built without a back-strap; rather the strap is engineered in a variety of ways to sit well below the shoulder-blades, usually somewhere around the lower back; the "backless" is a reference to the back-strap not being visible when the wearer is clothed.  Often that's enough to suit the outfit with which it's being paired but sometimes there's a need to expose the whole back and here an adhesive bra can be the solution.  Adhesive bras (single-use and re-usable and sometimes called "stick-on bras" or "stickies") are specialized devices which have a large part of the surface-area facing the skin coated with a medical-grade adhesive.  Made usually from silicone or polyurethane and available in a variety of designs (in one and two-piece configurations), almost all are strapless or backless and the variations in design exist to accommodate the different clothes under which the bra will be worn.  One chooses one’s adhesive bra cognizant of the dress or top to be worn, the idea being that once dressed, only skin and fabric should be visible.  In cases where no commercially available adhesive bra is quite right, a variety of medical-grade tapes (sold as tit-tape, skin-tape, boob-tape et al) can be used including double-sided versions which can hold the fabric of clothes in place.  These have the advantage of being able to be rendered in whatever shape is required but can be difficult to apply single-handedly although boyfriends and girlfriends should be anxious to assist.  Experts suggest avoiding the cheapest on the market because some of there are not medical grade and there's the risk of minor skin damage and consequent infection.

For those (regardless of size) who don’t require lift and need only to minimize lateral movement, the two-piece units (which can use a central coupling depending on the outfit) are ideal because they are available in versions with a smaller surface area, some of which use a higher percentage of the adhesive material to adhere to skin below the bust-line which can be helpful.  These are essentially a modern variation of the pasties (adhesive patches worn over the nipples by exotic dancers) from the late 1950s with some structural engineering added to enhance support.

Most two-piece adhesive bras are a pair of stand-alone units but some offer the option of centre-adjustments.  The methods vary, some using Velcro, the familiar hook & eye combination or buckles but the most popular type use shoe-lace style ties.  The scope of adjustment offered is not only lateral (forcing the flesh towards the centre) but also vertical (forcing the flesh upwards), both movements enhancing cleavage and this permits the same bra to be used for more than one style of outfit.

Although mostly associated with backless and strapless styles, adhesive bras are also available which accommodate plunging necklines.  The two-piece units allow designers to display a cut to the waist but more modest renditions, optimized for cleavage, use a kind of cantilever, usually called the “plunge”.

Adhesive cooperate with rather than defy the laws of physics and there are limits to the volumes which can be accommodated.  As a general principle, as the movable mass (and in this case there’s not always a direct correlation between weight and volume) increases, the surface area of the adhesive material which adheres to skin above the functional centre of gravity (essentially the pivot point) should increase.  That means larger sizes can be handled for backless dresses and even plunges are possible but it won’t be possible always to display the skin on the upper poles and designs required to secure a greater mass can be less comfortable because they often include some variation of an underwire to guarantee structural integrity.  As with all forms of structural engineering (essentially, making push equal pull), the physics involved means there are limits to what can be done.

Crapper

Crapper (pronounced krap-er)

(1) A proprietary trade name for a brand of loo; toilet; lavatory etc.

(2) A slang term for the loo; toilet; lavatory etc.

1920s: The construct was crap + er.  Dating from 1375-1425, crap was from the Middle English crappe (which at various times existed in the plural as crappen, crappies and craps) (chaff; buckwheat) from the Old French crappe & crapin (chaff; siftings, waste or rejected matter).  In the Medieval Latin there were the plural forms crappa & crapinum, apparently from the Old Dutch krappen (to cut off, pluck off) from which Middle Dutch gained crappe & crap (a chop, cutlet) and Modern Dutch krip (a steak); the most obvious modern relative is crop.  The Middle English agent suffix er was from the Old English ere, from the Proto-Germanic ārijaz and generally thought to have been borrowed from the Latin ārius.  The English forms were cognate with the Dutch er & aar, the German er, the Swedish are, the Icelandic ari and the Gothic areis.  Related are the Ancient Greek ήριος (ḗrios) and the Old Church Slavonic арь (arĭ).  Although unrelated, the development of er was reinforced by the synonymous Old French or & eor and the Angle-Norman variant our, all derived from the Latin (ā)tor, the ultimate root being the primitive European tōr.  Dating from 1846, crap was the English slang for the proper term crapping ken which is crap’s first documented application to bodily waste although etymologists suspect it had been in widespread use for some time prior.  In this context, crap was used in the earlier English and French sense of “siftings, waste or rejected matter” and ken was an existing term for a small building or house.

The urban myth is part-truth, part-crap

The brand-name Crapper was first applied to a toilet designed and by plumber Thomas Crapper (1836-1910) and manufactured by the company he founded, Thomas Crapper & Co, Licenced Plumbers & Sanitary Engineers.  In 1884, the Prince of Wales (later Edward VII (1841–1910; King of the UK & Emperor of India 1901-1910)) purchased Sandringham House and asked Mr Crapper to supply the plumbing, including thirty flushing loos with cedarwood seats and enclosures.  Impressed with the quality, the prince granted the company their first Royal Warrant.  The occupational surname Crapper is a dialectal variant of cropper (harvester of crops, farmer).

It’s a linguistic coincidence that a Mr Crapper choose to become a plumber and begin manufacturing loos bearing his name which bore such similarity to both crap and crapping which had earlier been used to describe bodily and other waste.  Despite being a coincidence, decades before the internet spread fake news, the urban myth was well-established that the terms words crap and crapper, in their scatological sense, all derive from the efforts and products of Mr Crapper.  The myth is often fleshed-out with reference to US soldiers stationed in England during World War One popularizing the phrase "I'm going to the crapper", after seeing the name on barracks’ cisterns.  In the way army slang does, it was taken home when the servicemen returned to the US.  Despite this, most dictionaries cite the origin of the slang term to the 1920s with popular use becoming widespread by the mid 1930s.  It spread with the empire and was noted in the era to be in use in the Indian Army although, after 1947, the troops came often to prefer "I am going to Pakistan".

ride) and (4), spit out after brushing and do not rinse (this maintains the fluoride concentration level).

Selfie with crapper backdrop: Lindsay Lohan on the set of HBO's Eastbound & Down (2013), brushing teeth while smoking.  It's an unusual combination but might work OK if one smokes a menthol cigarette and uses a nurdle of mint toothpaste.  Other combinations might clash.

By one's name, one shall be remembered.

The long-standing urban myth that Mr Crapper actually invented the flushing loo seems to lie in the 1969 book Flushed with Pride: The Story of Thomas Crapper by New Zealand-born humorist Wallace Reyburn (1913–2001) which purported to be a legitimate history.  Reyburn later wrote a "biography" of an influential inventor who created another product without which modern life also (for half the population) would be possible but less comfortable.  His 1971 volume Bust-Up: The Uplifting Tale of Otto Titzling and the Development of the Bra detailed the life of the putative inventor of the brassiere, Otto Titzling.  Unlike Mr Crapper, Herr Titzling (Reyburn helpfully mansplaining that the correct pronunciation was "tit-sling") never existed.  In truth, the flushing loo has probably existed in a recognizably modern form since the 1400s but, although the designs were gradually improved, they remained expensive and it was not until the nineteenth century they achieved any real popularity and it was well into the next century with the advent of distributed sanitation systems that they became expected, everyday installations.  To mark the day of his death in 1910, 27 January is designated International Thomas Crapper Day.  Each year, on that day, at the right moment, briefly, all should pause, reflect and then with gratitude, proceed.

Lindsay Lohan mug shots on the doors of the crappers at the Aqua Shard restaurant.  Located on the 31st floor of The Shard in London, the view is panoramic.

Ass & Arse

Arse (pronounced ahrs)

(1) One of many slang terms for the human buttocks (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(2) By extension, one of many slang terms applied to the rear or back-end of anything, animal, vegetable or mineral (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(3) In Australian slang, effrontery; cheek.

(4) In slang, a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person, a use sometimes enlivened as “arsehole” (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(5) A person; the self; (reflexively) oneself or one's person, chiefly their body and by extension, one's personal safety, or figuratively one's job, prospects etc (in much of the English-speaking world except the US).

(6) In biochemistry, as ARSE, the abbreviation of arylsulfatase E (an enzyme, deficiencies in which are associated with abnormalities in cartilage and bone development).

Pre 1000: From the Middle English ars, eres & ers, from the Old English ærs & ears, from the Proto-West Germanic ars, from the Proto-Germanic arsaz and cognate with the Old Frisian ers, the Dutch aars, the Old Norse, Middle Low German, Old Saxon & Old High German ars (from which modern German gained Arsch), the Greek órrhos (rump (from orso-, used frequently in compounds)), the Armenian or̄kh and the Hittite arras.  All of the nouns derive ultimately probably from the primitive Indo-European h₃érsos- (backside, buttocks, tail), the source also of the Ancient Greek ourá & orros (tail, rump, base of the spine), the Hittite arrash and the Old Irish err (tail).  In the hierarchy of vulgarity, arse had an interesting history, beginning as something purely descriptive but, because of the association with the buttocks and their functions (with all that that implies), the word soon became a vulgar form, avoided in polite conversation.  That restraint lingered well into the twentieth century but even though things are now more relaxed, a careless use of arse in the wrong time and place, in the wrong company, can still cause offence.  The Latin arse was the vocative masculine singular of arsus, the perfect passive participle of ārdeō which was used with a variety of senses (1) to burn (to be consumed by fire), (2) Of eyes which glow or sparkle, (3) in poetic use, to glisten with a feature, usually with a colour, (4) figuratively, “to burn, be strongly affected with an emotion, (5), figuratively, “to be eager” & (6) figuratively, ardently or fervently to be in love, to burn with lustful or romantic desire.  Arse is a noun & verb; arsing is a verb and arsed is a verb & adjective; the noun plural is arses.

One should avoid losing one's ticket.

There can have been few words as productive as arse in the construction of slang and idiomatic forms, some of which survived while some died out.  To “hang the arse” (slow, reluctant; tardy) was from the 1630s while the more graphic (and in some cases presumably literal) “arse-winning” referred to income gained from prostitution "money obtained by prostitution" was in Middle English in the late fourteenth century.  The familiar “arse over tit” (to fall down; to fall over) is actually an alternative form of the original “arse over tip” which was first recorded in 1884 although it had probably long been in oral use.  Arseward was a synonym of backward in the fourteenth century while the mysterious arsy-versy (backside foremost) dates from the 1530s and was probably a reduplication of arse, perhaps with suggestions of “going backwards; in reverse”.  Arsehole can of course be literal (referencing the anus) and the late fourteenth century was spelled arce-hoole, an inheritance from the Old English in which the Latin anus was glossed with earsðerl (literally "arse-thrill" with the noun thrill used in its original sense of "hole".  Asshole (a stupid, pompous, arrogant, mean or despicable etc person) is also a frequently used term of abuse.  One long-serving Australian foreign minister, early in his undistinguished term was overheard referring to poor nations as “BACs” (busted arse countries) and while he never apologized, did sit smirking in parliament while the prime-minister assured the house he’d been assured it wouldn’t happen again (presumably the leak rather than the comment).  A smart-arse (a person thought flippant or insolent, usually with a tendency to make snide remarks) should not be confused with an arse-smart (also ars-smart), the herb Persicaria hydropiper (formerly Polygonum hydropiper), named in the early fourteenth century, the construct being arse + smart (in the sense of “pain”).  The herb was also at the time once culrage and since the late eighteenth century has been known as smartweed.  Arse smart was a direct translation of the Old French cul rage, the construct being the Old French cul + rage which some sources suggest is from the Latin rabies (from rabiō (to rage)) but evidence is lacking and the French word may have been a folk etymology.

In German "My ass!" is spelled "Mein Arsch!".

The list of arse-based phrases (some of which began in the US as “ass” slang) is long and perhaps impossible wholly to compile but some of the other more frequently used forms are (1) arseage or pure arse (good and usually undeserved luck), (2) arse licker (sycophancy, also expressed as suck arse or kiss arse), sometime used in conjunction with (3) arse-kicker (stern superior) in the phrase (4) “kisses up, kicks down” which refers to those obsequious towards superior and officious to subordinates, (5) light up someone’s arse (provide encouragement in a strident or violent manner) which Dr Joseph Goebbels (1897-1975; Nazi propaganda minister 1933-1945) used in typically imaginative manner, telling his staff just after the failure of the July 1944 plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler (1889-1945; German head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945), “It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see reason”, (6) arse about (and arse around) which can mean either “the wrong way around” or “behaving frivolously, wasting time”, (7) half-arsed (something done badly or improperly), (8) fat arse (someone overweight), (9) dumb arse (someone considered not intelligent or an act thought most unwise), (10) cover one's arse (to take such action as one considers necessary to avoid later blame or censure (this one definitely borrowed from the US)), (11) to break one’s arse (working hard), (12) arse in a sling (an unfortunate state in one’s personal affairs, especially if the consequence of one’s own mistakes or ill-considered actions), (13) pain in the arse (someone or something troublesome or really annoying (pain in the neck the polite alternative)), (14) kick in the arse (a form of encouragement, a punishment or combination of the two), (15) bet your arse (an expression of certainty), (16) pulled it out of one’s arse (an admission of luck), the companion phrase being (17) can’t just pull it out of one’s arse (introducing a sense of reality to a conversation), (18) stick it up (your) arse (declining an offer, invitation or suggestion) and (19) can't be arsed (can’t be bothered).

Gratuitous objectification of the callipygian: One dozen pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s ass.

Ass (pronounced ass or ahrs)

(1) Ass is a noun and the adjectival form is ass-like (assesque a bit clumsy); the noun plural is asses.  adjective: asinine

(2) Either of two perissodactyl mammals of the horse family (Equidae), Equus asinus (African wild ass) or E. hemionus (Asiatic wild ass).  They are long-eared, slow, placid, sure-footed and easily domesticated, thus long used as a beast of burden.

(3) An alternative spelling of arse (buttocks or anus) and the standard form in the US and much of Canada.

(4) A stupid, foolish, absurdly pompous or stubborn person (although when seeking to suggest stubborn, “mule” was historically the more usual form).

(5) Someone with whom sexual intercourse is desired, contemplated or achieved and in those contexts can be used also to express admiration (nice piece of ass).

Pre-1000:  From the Middle English asse, from the Old English assa, probably a pet name or diminutive form based on a Celtic form such as the Old Irish asan or the Old Welsh asen, from the Latin asinus and akin to the Greek ónos (the donkey-like ass), from a non-Indo-European language of Asia Minor, possibly the Sumerian anše (ass).  The use as an alternative spelling of arse dates from the 1860s in the US and may be related to the increase in the mixing of linguistic traditions during the Civil War.

Arse thus is the British slang word referring to (1) the human or animal posterior, or (2) a stupid person.  Ass is the American equivalent and is used also as the name of the beast of burden so like “check”, in US English there is potential for confusion whereas in British & Commonwealth use, the ass/arse & cheque/check distinction avoids this although, given the differences in definition, ass is less prone than check.  Some style guides and the more helpful dictionaries caution that ass in the US is less acceptable that arse has become in the commonwealth and when speaking of the beast, donkey or mule is often used, even when zoologically dubious.  Still, the word is useful and on Reddit there’s the subreddit AITA ("Am I the asshole), which is the clearing house for enquiries where those involved in disputes can seek views on whether they are in the wrong.

Dick Assman (Assman the Gasman), Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, 1995.

Dick Assman (1934-2016) was a Canadian gas (petrol) station employee who gained his fifteen minutes (actually several months) of fame by virtue of his name which came to the attention of US talk-show host David Letterman (b 1947).  Seeing the comedic potential, Letterman in mid-1995 added a nightly segment called Assman the Gasman which lasted a few weeks but it generated for Mr Assman so much name-recognition, that it led to opportunities such as judging beauty contests.  The names Assman & Assmann are of fourteenth century German origin and are thought variations of Erasmus from the Ancient Greek erasmos (loved).  It was originally a personal name which evolved into a surname as the conventions of family names evolved in the post-feudal period.  Mr Assman enjoyed the celebrity ride but did note the name is correctly pronounced oss-man.

Bismarck class Schlachtschiff (battleship) KMS Tirpitz. 

Vice Admiral Kurt Assmann (1883-1962) had a career at sea before between in 1933 appointed head of the historical section of the German Navy (Kriegsmarine which would later become Oberkommando der Marine (OKL; the naval high command)).  The books he published in the post-war years are a valuable source of facts and a helpful chronology but much of his analysis about political and naval strategy was criticized on both sides of the Iron Curtain.  His nephew was naval Captain Heinz Assmann (1904—1954) who for a time served on the Bismarck-class battleship KMS Tirpitz and was later attached to Oberkommando der Wehrmacht (OKW; the armed forces high command).  His notable contribution to history was being in the conference room on 20 July 1944 when the bomb intended to kill Hitler exploded.  After recovering from his injuries, he returned to his duties at OKW and was attached to the Flensburg staff of Grand Admiral Karl Dönitz (1891–1980; head of the German Navy 1943-1945, German head of state 1945) when the latter was named in Hitler’s political testament as his successor as head of state, his time in office lasting three weeks.  Captain Assmann subsequently was interviewed by allied investigators who were seeking fully to understand the chain of events of on the day of the July plot.  Between 1953-1954, he served as a member of the Hamburg Parliament.

The ass in thought crime

Thou shalt not covet is one of the biblical Ten Commandments (or Decalogue), regarded by most scholars as moral imperatives.  Both Exodus and Deuteronomy describe the commandments as having been spoken by God, inscribed on two stone tablets by the finger of God, and, after Moses shattered the originals, rewritten by God on others.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ass, or anything that belongs to thy neighbor.

Thy neighbor's ass (pronounced ass).

It differs from the other nine in that while they’re concerned with the actions of sinners, the prohibition on being a coveter is about a sinner's thoughts and thus, an early description of thoughtcrime (a word coined by George Orwell (1903-1950) for his dystopian 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four).  Indeed Matthew (5:21-21, 27-28) anticipates Orwell in saying that it’s not enough merely to obey the commandment “thou shalt not commit adultery” because “…anyone who looks upon a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart”.  Jimmy Carter (1924-2024; US President 1977-1981) quoted this in his Playboy interview, a statement of presidential probity neither shared nor always adhered to by all his successors and predecessors.  In that context, it should be remembered there's an (unwritten) eleventh commandment: "Thou shall not get caught".