Thursday, November 2, 2023

Plausible

Plausible (pronounced plaw-zuh-buhl)

(1) Having an appearance of truth or reason; seemingly worthy of approval or acceptance; credible; believable; possibly or probably true.

(2) Well-spoken and apparently, but often deceptively, worthy of confidence or trust.  Obtaining approbation; specifically pleasing; apparently right; specious.

(3) Worthy of being applauded; praiseworthy; commendable; ready (obsolete).

1535–1545: From the Middle English, from the Latin plausibilis (deserving applause, praiseworthy, acceptable, pleasing), the construct being plausus (past participle of plaudere (to applaud)) + ibilis (ible) (the Latin adjectival suffix (now usually in a passive sense) which creates meanings "able to be, relevant or suitable to, in accordance with" or expressing capacity or worthiness in a passive sense). The meaning "having the appearance of truth" is noted from the 1560s.  The plausible has become nuanced (the comparative more plausible, the superlative most plausible) but synonyms (of the historic meaning) include credible, probable, persuasive, possible, logical, valid, conceivable, tenable, creditable, likely, presumable, sound & supposable.  Plausible is an adjective, plausibly is an adverb, plausibility is a noun; the noun plural is plausibilities (although the antonym implausibilities is probably the more often heard form.

Cynicism is nothing new and in English the meaning "having a specious or superficial appearance of trustworthiness" had been appended as early as the 1560s.  The noun has been documented since the 1590s in the sense of "quality of being worthy of praise or acceptance" although it too was soon co-opted and by at least the 1640s was also used to suggest "a specious or superficial appearance of being right or worthy of acceptance".  The adjective implausible (not having an appearance of truth or credibility) dates from the 1670s although as late as earlier in the century it was still being used in its original sense of "not worthy of applause".  There's a prejudice that "implausible" and related forms are used more often than "plausible" and its relations nut it may simply we we notice the former more and "plausible deniability" is really just a loaded way of saying "implausible".

Plausible Deniability

Plausible deniability is a construct of language to be used in situations where it’s possible to tell lies because it’s not possible for others to prove the truth.  In common law jurisdictions, it exists also as a legal concept given the evidential onus of proof falls (usually) not upon the defendant so if the opponent cannot offer evidence to support an allegation, variously beyond reasonable doubt or on the balance of probabilities, accusations can plausibly be denied regardless of the truth.  Most associated with politicians or public officials but practiced also by those in corporate chains of command, it’s used usually to deny knowledge of or responsibility for anything unlawful, immoral or in some way disreputable.  Depending on the circumstances, it can protect institutions from damage or, more typically, shift blame (and consequences) from someone senior to others lower in the hierarchy.  While the art & science of plausible deniability doubtlessly has been practiced since the origins of humanity, the phrase was coined within the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), apparently as early as the 1950s although it seems not to have appeared in any printed source available to the public until 1964 and became part of general use only during the Watergate crisis (1973-1974).  Some sources credit Allen Dulles (1893–1969; Director of Central Intelligence (DCI) 1953-1961) himself with the first public use but, like his brother (John Foster Dulles (1888–1959; US Secretary of State 1953-1959)), he's blamed for much.

Lindsay Lohan and her lawyer in court, Los Angeles, December 2011.

Within the CIA, it described the withholding of information from senior officials in order to protect them from repercussions in the event that illegal or unpopular activities became public knowledge.  This was a time when the CIA was lawfully permitted to assassinate people, especially uncooperative politicians in troublesome countries.  It's obviously a murky business but the consensus seems to be the CIA still kills people but never uses the word assassination and, dating from an executive order issued by Gerald Ford (1913–2006; US president 1974-1977), the agency is no longer allowed to kill heads of state.  This prohibition was presumably a kind of "professional courtesy" on the part of President Ford and one which he must have hoped would be reciprocated.  It's not difficult to guess which countries definitely have at least one executioner silently on the payroll and which almost certainly don't but most are in that grey area of uncertainty.

Alastair Campbell (b 1957; Downing Street Director of Communications & official spokesperson (1997–2003)) with Vladimir Putin (b 1952; Prime-Minister of Russia 1999-2000 & 2008-2012, President of Russia 1999-2008 & since 2012) and Tony Blair (b 1953; UK Prime Minister 1997-2007).  Mr Putin in recent years has stretched plausible deniability well beyond the point at which plausibility can be said to have become implausible. 

One fine practitioner of the art was one-time tabloid journalist Alastair Campbell, spokesman for the New Labour government during most of Tony Blair’s premiership.  Campbell added a post-modern twist in that he dealt mostly with journalists who knew when he was lying and they knew that he knew they knew.  Things evolved to the point where Campbell came to believe this was proof of his cleverness and some suspected he began to lie, even when the truth would have been harmless, just to show-off his cynical contempt for just about everyone else.  It worked for a while and certainly suited the New Labour zeitgeist but later, when employed as press officer for the British & Irish Lions on their 2005 tour of New Zealand, his effectiveness was limited because even when telling the truth, which, in fairness, he often did, the baggage of his past made everything sound like spin and lies.  The Lions lost the test series 3-0, the first time in 22 years they lost every test match on tour but nobody suggested Campbell was in anyway responsible for the on-field performance.  Still, plausibility deniability remains an essential skill in modern media management.  An example would be:

(1) You run a government in some country about which, for a variety of reasons, Western governments tend not to make tiresome complaints.  Here, you can do just about anything you wish.

(2) One of your people has run away to another country and is being really annoying.  You arrange to have him invited home for discussions over a cup of coffee.

(3) They crew sent to issue the invitation botch the job, murdering him in a quite gruesome manner (ie the method not far removed from how they dispatch them on home soil).

(4) You deny it was an execution, suggesting death happened when an argument about football or something became heated.  (Plausible denial #1).

(5) Didn’t work.  You now deny ordering any connection with the operation, saying it was an unauthorized rogue team.  (Plausible denial #2).

(6) The other country lists nineteen suspects involved in the murder and demands extradition for trial.

(7) You work out which of the suspects is most expendable and it's announced he had died in "an accident" (that and "natural causes" often a grey area you've noticed).  You hope the sacrifice will satisfy honor on both sides.  (Plausible denial #3).

(8) Problem isn’t going away, even though kind folks in many countries are helping you try to make it go away.  You have the remaining eighteen suspects arrested and locked-up somewhere reasonably pleasant and most secret.

(9) Other country is still being tiresome, maintaining people who kill others should be tried for murder in country where crime was committed.  You understand the legal point but still can't see what all the fuss is about.

(10) You arrange it to be announced the eighteen suspects are dead, all SWATE (shot while attempting to escape).  (Plausible denial #4).  The system works.

Pandemonium

Pandemonium (pronounced pan-duh-moh-nee-uhm)

(1) Wild uproar or unrestrained disorder; tumult or chaos.

(2) A place or scene of riotous uproar or utter chaos.

(3) Satan’s palace at the centre of Hell in Milton’s Paradise Lost.

(4) Following Milton, the abode of all the demons (often with initial capital letter).

1667: In John Milton’s (1608-1674) epic poem, Paradise Lost (1667-1674), Pandæmonium was the name of the palace in the centre of hell, "the high capital of Satan and all his peers”.  Milton coined the word as a construct of the Ancient Greek πᾶν (pân) (all; every (and equivalent to the English pan-)) + the Late Latin daemonium (evil spirit, demon), from the Ancient Greek δαιμόνιον (daimónion) (a diminutive form of δαίμων (daímōn) (“little deity”, “little spirit”, “little angel” or (as Christians interpreted it) “little daemon”, later modernized as “demon”).  Depending on one’s didactic or literary purpose, Pandæmonium may thus be translated variously as “All Demons” or, following Milton, as Pandemoneios (Παν-δαιμον-ειον) (the place of all demons).  The transferred sense of “a place of uproar” dates from 1779 while the general use meaning “wild, lawless confusion” has been in use since 1865.  The alternative spellings are pandaemonium & pandæmonium, the latter still in literary use.  Pandemonium is a noun, pandemoniacal, pandemonious, pandemonic & pandemonian are adjectives, pandemoniac is a noun & adjective; the noun plural is either pandemoniums or pandemonia.

There are special, technical uses of “pandemonium”.  In physics, a pandemonium describes a problem that leads to inaccurate results from high-resolution gamma ray detectors in cases of beta decay when the decay product has a large Q value because the decay product has too many possible energy excitation levels with too much variation in the amount of energy emitted by different levels.  Those who understand that doubtlessly visualize the phenomenon while the rest of us probably need something like a cartoon.  In cognitive science, a pandemonium is a conception of visual object recognition in the brain as a hierarchical system of detection and association by a metaphorical set of "demons" sending signals to each other.  No cartoons required.

Some who have inspired fandemonium: The anyway statuesque Taylor Swift, adding to the effect in 6 inch (150 mm) heels (2016, right), the mean girls of Mean Girls (2004, centre) and the more diminutive Lady Gaga (2023, right).

By way of portmanteau nouns, pandemonium has been an element in (1) pandemonium (panda + (pande)–monium) (the furor induced by the reaction of people to the sight of pandas) and (2) fandemonium (fan + -(pan)demonium) (in pop-culture, the furor caused by or involving fans).  In the matter fandemonium, Lady Gaga (b 1986) called her fans “little monsters” while devotees of the Taylor Swift (b 1989) cult are known as “Swifties” (apparently always with an initial capital).

Paradise Lost

Written in the epic tradition of starting in medias res (in the midst of things), John Milton’s Paradise Lost was published originally as a poem of some ten-thousand lines in ten books (1667) before the second edition (1674) was re-organized into twelve volumes, possibly a nod to the Roman poet Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro (70–19 BC)) whose epic work the Aeneid (circa 30-19 BC) was thus assembled.  The poem is an account of the biblical tale of the fall of man: the temptation of Adam & Eve by the fallen angel Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden and was structured in two narrative threads, one following Satan, the other about Adam and Eve, a depiction of the tragedy of human existence which can be transformed only by a pure will for redemption.  The second edition is easier to read because it includes chapter summaries.

Milton coined the name for the capital of Hell, “the High Capital, of Satan and his Peers”, built by the fallen angels at the suggestion of Mammon and it appears at the end of Book I of Paradise Lost (1667), noted as having been designed by the architect Mulciber (In Ancient Rome, Mulciber was another name for the Roman god Vulcan), the designer of palaces in Heaven before his fall.  Book II begins with the debate among the Stygian Council (known also as the Infernal Council and the grand gathering of the demons of the Inferno; apparently something like a Tory Party conference but with better catering) in the council-chamber of Pandæmonium.  In an example of free-market efficiency, the demons built the structure in little more than an hour though by far it surpassed in grandeur all human palaces and, being made from solid gold, it never tarnished.  Interestingly, it was Tardis-like, being both small yet with a vast and spacious hall which thronged with swarms of shape-shifting demons, a quality which may account for the spatial ambiguity in the account of the dimensions.

The Shepherd’s Dream (1793), from Paradise Lost, oil on canvas by Henry Fuseli (1741-1825).

One mid-century critique was Milton's God (1965) by Sir William Empson (1906–1984), among the earliest published examples of the techniques of literary deconstructionism being applied to poetic text.   Milton noted his work was a way of “…justifying the ways of God to men” and Empson deconstructed those means, mapping them onto a framework of theological paradox.  While Milton’s God had a mixed reception, it was briefly influential as an early post-modern text although one of the problems inherent in deconstruction is it tempts others to reconstruct and there was a critic who deduced Empson had claimed “the poet felt an active hatred for the God of Christianity.”  That was a challenging notion given the book for so long sat on shelves next to the King James Bible (KJV 1611) and it seemed Epson’s subconscious was being probed.  Although in Milton’s God there was the observation Milton’s social judgment had told him that the Heaven he was imagining before the fall of the angels was already a horrible place, “against his overall intention”, it seems a quite a leap from that to a hatred of the God of the New Testament.

Empson explained what needed better to be understood (because, as he put it, modern Christianity has gone to extreme lengths “to hush it up”) was the moral character of God had become very hard to defend and that this was widely known by the time John Calvin (1509–1564) and Martin Luther (1483–1546) had trod the path of Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274).  Milton was struggling to defend God, noting that in the De doctrina Christiana (On Christian Teaching (397-426)), Aquinas himself had written there were many who believed God caused evil, practically making God the Devil and Milton would assert the relevant Bible texts must not be interpreted literally.  Milton certainly presents God at his worst but the Almighty is a agreeable figure by Book III although it remains clear his path for man will long and painful with many casualties but the poet's theme remained that there would be awful consequences if “the widespread hatred of God could no longer be contained” and this Empson understood.

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

Sidewinder

Sidewinder (pronounced syde-whine-der)

(1) A North American rattlesnake (Crotalus cerastes), also known as the horned rattlesnake and sidewinder rattlesnake, a venomous pit viper species belonging to the genus Crotalus (rattlesnakes) and found in the desert regions of the south-western United States and north-western Mexico. 

(2) An air-to-air missiles of US design.

(3) In nautical use, a type of middle-distance deep-sea trawler widely used during the 1960s and 1970s.

(4) In slang, a person thought untrustworthy and dangerous.

(5) In the slang of hand-to-hand combat, a heavy swinging blow from the side which disables an adversary (now rare).

(6) In the slang of baseball, a pitcher who throws sidearm.

(7) In the slang of certain photographers, a certain aspect used to photograph certain models in certain dresses or tops.

1875: A creation of US English to describe the small horned rattlesnake found in the south-west near the border with Mexico, the construct being the adjective side + the agent noun of wind, so called in reference to its "peculiar lateral progressive motion".  The first known use was in an 1875 US Army report detailing the zoology of the western US.  Dating from 1888, there are also references to the snake as the "sidewiper".  Side was from the Middle English side, from the Old English sīde (side, flank), from the Proto-Germanic sīdǭ (side, flank, edge, shore), from the primitive Indo-European sēy- (to send, throw, drop, sow, deposit).  It was cognate with the Saterland Frisian Siede (side), the West Frisian side (side), the Dutch zijde & zij (side), the German Low German Sied (side), the German Seite (side), the Danish & Norwegian side (side) and the Swedish sida (side).  As an adjective (as in sidewinder) it's used to mean (1) being on the left or right, or toward the left or right; lateral & (2) indirect; oblique; incidental.  The construct of winder was wind + -er and was from the Middle English wynder, from the Middle English wynd & wind, from the Old English wind (wind), from the Proto-West Germanic wind, from the Proto-Germanic windaz, from the primitive Indo-European hwéhtos (wind), from hwéhts (wind), from the present participle of hweh- (to blow).  The –er suffix was from the Middle English –er & -ere, from the Old English -ere, from the Proto-Germanic -ārijaz, thought most likely to have been borrowed from the Latin –ārius where, as a suffix, it was used to form adjectives from nouns or numerals.  In English, the –er suffix, when added to a verb, created an agent noun: the person or thing that doing the action indicated by the root verb.   The use in English was reinforced by the synonymous but unrelated Old French –or & -eor (the Anglo-Norman variant -our), from the Latin -ātor & -tor, from the primitive Indo-European -tōr.  When appended to a noun, it created the noun denoting an occupation or describing the person whose occupation is the noun.  Sidewinder is a noun; the noun plural is sidewinders.

A sidewinder taking lunch (left) and sidewinding (right).

The snake’s common name, sidewinder, alludes to its unusual form of locomotion, which is thought to give it traction on windblown desert sand, but this peculiar specialization is used on any substrate over which the sidewinder rapidly can move. As its body progresses over loose sand, it forms a letter J-shaped impression, with the tip of the hook pointing in the direction of travel.  The species is nocturnal during hot months and diurnal during the cooler times of its activity period, which typically extends from November to March (though often longer in the southern part of its range, subject to seasonal variation).

The AIM-9x Sidewinder and the Vympel K-13

AIM-9x Sidewinder Air-to Air missile being launched.

The AIM-9x Sidewinder is a short-range air-to-air missile developed by the US Navy which entered service in 1956.  One of the most widely used missiles, it equips both western and (notionally) non-aligned air forces as well as (indirectly), the many nations which use the Soviet-era Vympel K-13, a reverse-engineered clone.  More than 110,000 Sidewinders have been produced and it’s considered outstanding value for money, being one of the less expensive weapons of its type.  Aside from cost, it owes its longevity to a simple, easy-to-upgrade design, long shelf life, robustness and famously high reliability; the US military say it’s possible the Sidewinder will remain in service until late this century, the one basic design might thus endure over one-hundred years.  One of the early mass-produced guided missiles, the Sidewinder name was selected in 1950 because the venomous snake uses infrared sensory organs to hunt warm-blooded prey.  The Sidewinder was first developed by the US Navy (USN) and later adopted by the US Air Force (USAF), both branches still using what is essentially the same design, the critical components of which are (1) an infrared homing guidance section, (2) an active optical target detector, (3) a high-explosive warhead and (4) rocket propulsion.  The attraction of infrared units is their low-cost, ease of maintenance and the ability to be used day and night.  According to the 2021 fiscal year Department of Defense (DoD) budget, AIM-9x Sidewinders are costed at around US$430,000 for Navy use & US$472,000 for the Air Force, the difference accounted for by the cost of the mounting system which attaches to and aircraft’s hard-points.  The DoD’s numbers are not necessarily accurate but the comparative values are probably at least indicative.

The rollerons on the fins of the early AIM-9.

Although in production since 1956, the Sidewinder is now a much changed device, product development meaning parts interchangeability between an original and one from the 2020s is limited to the odd screw.  In that, the missile can be compared to something like the Volkswagen Beetle in that while the first in 1938 and the last in 2003 were recognizably related and conceptually the same (rear-mounted air-cooled flat-four engine, rear-wheel drive (RWD), separate chassis etc), the only mechanical carry-overs would be some of the nuts & bolts.  In the 1950s, the technology to permit the Sidewinder's fins to act as self-stabilizer didn't exist.  While it would have been possible to build an electro-mechanical device which could fulfil the function, it would have been prohibitively large and heavy and, when subject to the stresses of launch, anyway too fragile to provide the reliability the military required.  Instead, "rollerons" were fitted to the tips of the fins.  Rotating at 100,000 rpm, these provided gyroscopic stabilization, a solution similar to that adopted by the Germans for their big World War II (1939-1945) ballistic missile (The Aggregat 4 (A4), better known as the V2 (or V-2) (Vergeltungswaffe (Retaliation (ie vengence) Weapon 2)) although being bigger and flying for a greater distance in a more complex trajectory, the V2 was fitted also with controllers on the rocket engine's vanes which compensated dynamically for directional variations.  The issue of directional stability was the most challenging aspect of the V2's development. 

Lindsay Lohan sidewinder shots, 2007.  Where possible, photographers like to take both SFW (suitable for work, left) shots and NSFW (not suitable for work, right) shots so they have product for both market niches.  Paul Smith shot these as part of a sequence at the General Motors Annual Ten Event Fashion Show, Los Angeles, February 2006.

The use of Sidewinders in dog-fights between Chinese and Taiwanese (from the renegade province of Taiwan) pilots during the Second Taiwan Strait Crisis (1958) was the first use of air-to-air guided missiles in combat and the Vympel K-13 (NATO reporting name: AA-2 (Atoll)) was reverse-engineered (ie pirated) by the Soviet Union, using a Sidewinder launched from a Taiwanese F-86 Sabre during the Crisis which became lodged, unexploded, in the fuselage of a Chinese MiG 17.  The MiG landed safely and although Sino-Soviet relations weren’t at the time ideal, some sort of deal was done between Peking and Moscow which resulted in the missile being delivered to Soviet weapons scientists who deconstructed and replicated it, allowing the Vympel to enter the arsenals of Warsaw Pact nations.  The USSR had something of a tradition of doing this with Western hardware (their Boeing B29 clone legendarily almost identical to Boeing’s original) and the Chinese soon became masters of the technique.  By 1961 the K-13 was in full-scale production and so diligent were the Soviets in their duplication that even the part-numbers stamped on the components were replicated.

In February 2023, the Sidewinder was briefly in the news after one was used by a USAF F-16 fighter to shoot down the balloon which infamously penetrated US airspace.  Depending on whose story one prefers, it was either a weather research device operated by Chinese meteorological authorities or a spy system run by the PLA (People’s Liberation Army) to gather data for the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).  Most observers not in fear of being sent to a re-education camp seem to tend to the latter but for the USAF it wasn’t that important; pilots just like shooting stuff with sidewinders.  Targeted at an altitude around 20,000 feet (6000 m), the balloon was brought down in the vicinity of Lake Huron above over Michigan and was the third such airborne object shot down in a three-day span, all at the time believed to be linked with the CCP.  Once the thing was downed, one of the main interests to those examining the wreckage was to work out how a relatively large object could have evaded the surveillance of the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), which uses visual contact, radar, and other tracking systems.

1997 Dodge Dakota Sidewinder Concept.

The Dodge Dakota Sidewinder was a one-off concept displayed at 1997’s SEMA Convention in Las Vegas.  It used a 640 hp (477 kW), 490 cubic-inch (8.0 litre) V10 Viper (LA) engine and was said to be capable of 170 mph (274 km/h) although it wasn’t clear whether this was (1) worked out on the back of an envelope, (2) calculated by computer simulation or (3) verified by some intrepid test driver.  Like most of Detroit’s more fanciful creations, it never reached production although Chevrolet later picked up the idea for their retro-styled SSR (Super Sport Roadster) pickup truck (2003-2006) which featured a retractable hard-top and between 2004-2006 Dodge did install the a 505 cubic inch (8.3 litre) version LA V10 in their Ram pick-up truck.  One of the crazier trucks and very much in the tradition of their 1964-1966 D-100 pick-up which used the 426 cubic inch (7.0 litre) Street Wedge V8, the limited-production V10 SRT-10 is still much in demand in the collector market.

Clergy

Clergy (pronounced klur-jee)

The group or body of ordained persons in a religion, as distinguished from the laity (the non-ordained); applied especially within Christendom.

1175–1225: From the Middle English clerge & clergie from the Old French clergé (learned men) from the Late Latin clericātus (office of a priest) from clericalis & clēricus (one ordained for religious services), from the Ancient Greek κληρικός (klērikós) (of the clergy).  It’s from the Old French clergie (from clerc) in the sense of “learned men, skilled in the arts of erudition, writing and transcription” that the modern English clerk evolved, the meaning "pertaining to clerks and copyists" dating from 1798.  Clericalism sacerdotalism (power or influence of the clergy) is from 1849, very much in the spirit of the European revolutions of 1848; clericality (quality of being clerical) is from the 1650s.  Clergy, clergyman, clergywoman and (the very modern) clergy person are nouns and the adjectives adjectives clergylike, anticlergy and proclergy (all sometimes hyphenated) were in well-known during the centuries when church and secular forces contested control of British and European; the noun plural is clergies.

The legal doctrine benefit of clergy was formalised first in the 1510s and was the exemption of ecclesiastics from certain criminal processes before secular judges although in England it had been first recognized in 1274; over time it was gradually restricted being abolished finally in 1827.  Special deals for English clergy were nothing new.  The Rosetta Stone, the granodiorite stele created in Egypt in 196 BC and re-discovered in 1799 (which became the key to deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphs) included a degree granting tax-breaks to clergy, rights which in various jurisdictions persist to this day.

Clergyman was a familiar term from the thirteenth century but the more rare clergywoman was unknown until the 1670s and then just as a general descriptor of nuns.  It wasn’t until 1871 it could refer to a "woman pastor, woman of the clerical profession" but in between, it was used humorously (and disparagingly) about the domineering wife of a clergyman, an idea Anthony Trollope (1815-1882) used to great comic effect when writing of the bishop’s wife in the Chronicles of Barsetshire (1855-1867).  Clergess (member of a female religious order) was attested from the late fourteenth century; clergy-feme (clergyman's wife or woman) was first noted in the 1580s.

Church of England (and worldwide Anglican) clergy

A clergyman.  Cosmo Gordon Lang (1864–1945), Archbishop of Canterbury (1928–1942).

In the Anglican Church, there are in excess of two-dozen titles before one even reaches then levels of the right reverend and very reverend gentlemen but despite the extraordinary proliferation of styles and titles within the Anglican clergy, under canon law, there are but three types of ordained person: a bishop, a priest, and a deacon.  With very few exceptions, the people who hold other offices and titles will always be (1) a bishop, (2) a priest or (3) a deacon, with their other title(s) overlaid atop their primary appointment.  There doesn't seem to be any theological justification for all this ecclesiastical bureaucratization but as those who study organizational behavior have often noted, structures once established can quickly become established tradition and assume their own inertia.

Bishop

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to oversee the work of a group of congregations and the priests & Deacons who serve them; that group of congregations is called a diocese.  Only a bishop may ordain persons to the order of deacon and priest; only a bishop may also ordain (also called a consecration) another bishop, but must do so in the company of other bishops and a bishop must have been previously have been ordained a priest.  In the Church of England, twenty-six bishops (The Lords Spiritual) sit by historic right in the House of Lords, the UK parliament’s upper house.

Priest

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to preside at gatherings around the Lord’s Table (the Holy Communion) and to extend assurance of God’s forgiveness to those who truly repent of their sins.  A person who is a priest must previously have been ordained as a deacon, and continues to be a deacon throughout his or her life as a priest.  A few churches now use presbyter for this order.

Feminist Lindsay Lohan in habit with Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum in Machete (2010), makes a persuasive case for the ordination of women in the Roman Catholic Church.  In the Anglican communion, there are now even women bishops although some reactionary dioceses such as Sydney restrict women to the diaconate (ie deacons) where they may assist "real" priests although their exact role can vary between parishes.  The Sydney diocese, where there's still a hankering for popery, refuses to ordain women as priests and bishops.

Deacon

A member of the clergy who has been commissioned to proclaim the Gospel, assist at the Holy Communion, and to call the church, by word and example, to its ministry of service and healing.

Archbishop

A bishop who presides over several dioceses in a large region, a position which includes some supervisory responsibilities over both dioceses and bishops in that region.  In the Church of England, the Archbishop of Canterbury is the (nominal and spiritual) head of the worldwide Anglican Communion.

Archdeacon

A member of the clergy appointed to assist the bishop in certain administrative and pastoral duties in a diocese.  An archdeacon may administer a district comprising a group of parishes which is usually known as an Archdeaconry.  Despite the name, there is now no direct connection with the order of deacon, and an archdeacon is generally one of the priests of a diocese.  The position and title normally expires upon resignation or retirement, although certain retired archdeacons in good standing with their bishop often retain the title.

Aspirant

A person who has indicated to the bishop that he or she hopes to be ordained and is in the preliminary interview process.  Once the bishop has formally accepted their candidacy, the person is called a postulant.

Bishop-elect

A person chosen to become a bishop, but not yet consecrated; the word elect simply means chosen.  Anglican bishops are selected by a variety of means: some are elected by the clergy and laity of the diocese where they will serve, but some are selected by a specially-constituted committee (often called an Electoral College).  In England, historically, bishops were personal appointments by the monarch; now the sovereign appoints on the recommendation of the prime minister.  This process has not been without the odd hiccup.  Once, Lord Salisbury (1903; UK prime minister for thirteen years variously 1885-1902), as was the usual practice, received from the Archbishop of Canterbury the name of the two clergymen he had considered for appointment to a vacant bishopric.  Unfortunately, the spellings of the two names were similar and the prime-minister inadvertently sent to the palace the wrong name.  After the gentleman was enthroned he was informed of the error and remarked: "Oh, I daresay he will do just as well".     

Canon

Canon is an honorary title conferred upon a member of the clergy (and some lay persons) for faithful and valuable service to the church.  The standard joke in church circles is it's hard to find men of sufficient calibre to fulfil the role and once appointed, they should never be fired.

Chaplain

A member of the clergy whose employment is not in a parish or congregation, but who undertakes pastoral care and organizes worship services within a non-religious organization such as a school, hospital or the military.  There are a few special appointments where a chaplain may be a spiritual advisor and personal assistant to a bishop or a monarch.

Coadjutor

A bishop who has been appointed to assist a diocesan bishop.  Generally, a Coadjutor automatically becomes Diocesan in his or her own right, upon the retirement or resignation of the person currently in that office.

Commissary

A person appointed to exercise the administrative functions of a bishop, when the actual bishop is away from the diocese or otherwise indisposed.  A commissary may not perform any of the spiritual functions of a bishop, such as ordinations and the appointment is inherently temporary, the role expiring immediately upon the bishop’s return.

Curate

A deacon or a priest who functions as an assistant or subordinate to the Incumbent of a parish.  The word curate refers to the cure or care of souls, and while the word does suggest a primary and senior responsibility (indeed, in a French-speaking Roman Catholic Church the senior priest of a parish is called a curé), in the Anglican Church, a curate is always an assistant.

Dean

The most common meaning of this word in Anglicanism is “a priest who is the Incumbent of a cathedral, and the most senior priest of a diocese (under the bishop)”.  This title is not to be confused with academic deans and there are other Anglican officials with dean in their titles (such as Regional or District Dean) and their most familiar role is as the administrative heads of cathedrals.

Diocesan

A bishop in charge of a Diocese and it’s correct to say either the Diocesan or the diocesan bishop when referring to this office.  The Diocesan may also be referred to as the Ordinary.

Honorary (somethings)

An Honorary Assistant or Honorary Curate (and a few other variants) indicates an ordained person who functions as one of the clergy in a parish, but does so on a voluntary basis.  He or she may have other employment, or be retired from full-time paid ministry, but will preach, preside, or do pastoral care in the parish without receiving a living wage for it. The position is almost always official, formally designated as such by licence or certificate from the Bishop.  In this, honorary appointments in the church essentially mirror academic practice.

Father

Father is not actually a title, simply a form of address, a kind of courtesy title.

Incumbent

A technical term for a member of the clergy who has primary administrative, pastoral, and liturgical responsibilities in a parish or congregation.  Despite its official nature, this term is seldom used in conversation, and is often unknown among ordinary church members, who will usually refer to their Incumbent as the Rector.

Lay Canon

A non-ordained person who is given the honorary title of Canon, usually as a form of recognition for their leadership in some aspect of the church’s life.

Metropolitan

An archbishop who presides over a region of the church which may include several dioceses, bishops, and even archbishops; second only to a Primate in authority and responsibility.  Some Metropolitans are also Primates, and are officially described as Primate and Metropolitan.

Ministry Developer

In congregations and districts where the traditional clergy tasks (preaching, pastoral care, presiding etc) are divided up and done on a voluntary basis by different individuals (some ordained, some laity), the team leader is often given the title Ministry Developer.  This person is most often ordained and seminary trained, but need not be, provided only that he or she is good at enabling teamwork and communicating a rich sense of the church’s mission.

Ordinand

A person in the process of being ordained; preparation having been accomplished, the title exists only on the day of ordination.  Before, during, and after the liturgy, the brand new deacon or priest is correctly called an ordinand.

Ordinary

In a diocese or jurisdiction where there are a number of bishops, one of them always holds primary authority, and is called the Diocesan or, in some jurisdictions, the Ordinary (always with an uppercase O).  The etymology of ordinary in this context is murky but may relate to this person’s responsibility for deciding who gets ordained.

In the Anglican Church of Canada, a bishop who directs Anglican chaplains in the armed forces is also called the Bishop Ordinary.  This person is not assigned to any particular diocese and the duties of a Bishop Ordinary cross many diocesan and even national boundaries.

Parson

This is now an almost colloquial term applied to a member of the Anglican clergy.  Historically, in England it was an official designation for a salaried priest in charge of a parish.  The word derives from the Latin persona from which also is derived the very generic “person.”

Pastor

Although not a formal title in the Anglican Communion, some clergy find it acceptable, because it’s more widely understood than Rector or Incumbent.  Pastor means shepherd, and is quite suitable to use for any priest who has pastoral responsibilities.

Postulant

A person who has been accepted by the bishop as a candidate for ordination and is in the process of being trained.

Prebendary

An honorary canon, a title used almost exclusively in the UK.  Historically, in England, a prebendary was a member of the clerical staff of a cathedral or collegiate church; a paid position whose income derived from specially allocated rents of land administered by that church, the properties generating such rents was called a prebend.  Although prebend-based income is now rare (some claim it’s extinct) the honorary title of prebendary is still England.

Precentor

A person, usually a member of the clergy, who is responsible for organizing the liturgy and music of a large church (such as a great cathedral).

Presbyter

Another word for priest, both from the Ancient Greek πρεσβυτερος (presbuteros) (church elder).  There are dense theological arguments surrounding these words and while all official Anglican documents and ordination liturgies use priest, there are some places in the church which use presbyter to refer to this order, the second of the three basic Anglican orders.

Priest-in-Charge

A person who has the responsibilities and duties of an Incumbent, but on a temporary basis, the appointment always at the discretion of the bishop.

Primate

A bishop who presides over the Anglican Church in a large region, or even in an entire country.  There will be many dioceses, bishops, and occasionally some archbishops under a primate’s supervision.  The person who holds a comparable position in Scotland is called Primus and, in the US, the equivalent position is the Presiding Bishop.

Provost

Provost has many meanings in English, used also to refer to military police or the principal of a university college.  When applied to a member of the Anglican clergy, the word refers to a priest who is the Incumbent of a cathedral church.  The more common word for this position is Dean, but in Scotland, Kenya and some smaller countries, the correct title is Provost.

Rector

A priest who has primary administrative, pastoral, and liturgical responsibilities in a parish or congregation; similar to and sometimes identical with an Incumbent.  Some heads of academic schools are also called Rector but such officials need not be ordained, or connected with the church.

Regional bishop

A bishop in a large diocese who is one of several bishops, each having oversight over a specific geographic area of parishes and clergy within that diocese.  This person may be a coadjutor or a suffragan, or even the Diocesan.  Technically, regional bishops can function anywhere within the diocese, but they have a closer relationship with and more detailed knowledge of their particular district.

Regional Dean

A priest who has some pastoral and administrative oversight of a small group of parishes or congregations.  This position has less weight than that of an archdeacon, so there can be several regional deans in an archdeacon’s area of responsibility.  A regional dean is generally an Incumbent of one of the parishes in his or her Deanery.  The titles Rural Dean and District Dean refer to exactly the same function and of the three Rural Dean is probably the oldest but is falling from use as the worldwide trend of urbanisation continues.

Suffragan

A bishop who has been appointed to assist a diocesan bishop (the Ordinary).  In contrast to the position of Coadjutor, a Suffragan is not automatically the Diocesan’s successor.

Transitional Diaconate

A category of clergy who are ordained deacon in preparation for being ordained priest.  Clergy in the transitional diaconate tend to spend up to a year serving as deacons, after which ordination to the priesthood takes place following further review and inquiry.

Vicar

This has slightly different meanings in various parts of the Anglican world.  In England, a vicar is a salaried parish priest whereas in the US, they’re a priest responsible either for a mission or for an institutional chapel (a mission is a congregation that is either recently founded, or is not capable of being financially self-sustaining; a chapel is a place of worship in a hospital, or an airport, or a government building).  In many places the word vicar can be used for a priest who is acting in behalf of a senior official who is not present (similar to the English word, vicarious). 

Vocational Diaconate

A category of clergy ordained as deacons who intend to remain so for the rest of their lives, without being further ordained to the priesthood.  The role exists to provide for those who feel their vocation to be that of ministry and service, rather than presiding.