Funeral

Funeral (pronounced fyoo-ner-uhl)

(1) The ceremonies for a dead person prior to burial or cremation; the obsequies.  Technically, it’s distinguished from a memorial service by the presence of the corpse although, for various reasons, this is not absolute.

(2) The processional element of such a ceremony.

(3) The sermon delivered at a burial (obsolete).

1350–1400: From the Middle English adjective funeral, from the Medieval Latin fūnerālia (funeral rites), originally the neuter plural from the adjective fūnerālis (having to do with a funeral), the construct being fūner- (stem of fūnus (funeral rites; death, corpse) + -ālis (the third-declension two-termination suffix (neuter -āle) used to form adjectives of relationship from nouns or numerals).  The origin of the Latin forms (In Classical Latin the adjective was funebris) is unknown, the common speculation linking to the primitive Indo-European dhew (to die).  The noun emerged in the early sixteenth century, probably from the Middle French plural funerailles, from the Medieval Latin fūnerālia, neuter plural of fūnerālis and the singular and plural were used interchangeably in English until circa 1700.  In Elizabethan times, funeral operated also as transitive verb in the sense of "to mourn".  The adjective funereal dates from 1725, influenced by the Middle French funerail, from the Latin fūnereus, from fūnus.  The Middle English forms from Latin via French displaced the native Old English līcþeġnung (literally the helpfully descriptive “dead body service”).

Funeral differs from burial, cremation, entombment, inhumation, interment & planting in that those words refer to a method whereas funeral concerns the ceremonial aspects; the words obsequies, sepulture & solemnities more synonymous although, historically, the closest was probably the obsolete exequy (the also obsolete exsequy the alternative form), a back-formation from exequies, from the Middle English exequies, from the Old French exequies, from the Latin exsequiās, accusative of exsequiae (train of followers).  Funeral appears in many European languages with the odd variation in spelling but in Portuguese, the velório (wake) is a more common reference.  The adjective funerary (pertaining to funerals or burials) dates from the 1690s, from Late Latin funerarius.  The adjective funest (portending death) emerged in the 1650s and had been obsolete since the late eighteenth century except as a poetic device; it was from the fourteenth century French funeste (unlucky), from the Latin funestus (causing death, destructive; mournful) from fūnus (“funeral rites" in this sense)  The related funestal was from a century earlier and died even sooner.  Funeral is a noun & adjective (the verb long obsolete), funereal, funerary & (the obsolete) funebrial are adjectives, funereally an adverb and funeralize is a verb; the noun plural is funerals.  The adjective funereal is used to refer to anything grim and dour rather than funeral as such and in idiomatic use, to say “it will be your funeral” is to suggest there will be unpleasant consequences if some course of action is followed.

In English, undertaker was an agent noun from the verb undertake, the early meaning, strictly speaking, "a contractor of any sort hired to perform some task" but it was applied mostly to those engaged is some sort of commercial enterprise.  There had long been instances of the use of “funeral-undertaker” but by the 1690s, “undertaker” had come to mean almost exclusively those whose profession was to “embalm and bury”.  Most etymologists conclude this organic shift to linguistic exclusivity came via the word being used as a euphemism for the mechanics of the profession, matters of mortality something of a taboo topic.

Undertaker faded from use as “mortician” and “funeral director” came to be preferred, firstly in the US with the latter soon becoming the standard form in the rest of the English-speaking world.  It was at the July 1895 meeting of the Funeral Directors' Association of Kentucky that it was proclaimed “…an undertaker will no longer be known as an "undertaker and embalmer." In the future he will be known as the "mortician."  This soon spread and the term undertaker is now almost unknown except in historic references or in figurative use in fields such as politics and sport.  In general use, the words "undertake", "undertaken" or "undertaking" are now used to describe just about any activity and with no sense of a taint of association with corpses.

In the narrow technical sense, even in modern use, the terms funeral director, mortician, and undertaker mean the same thing (a person who supervises or conducts the preparation of the dead for burial and directs or arranges funerals"  Nuances have however emerged, especially in the US where a funeral director tends to be someone who owns or operates a funeral home whereas the term mortician implies a technical role, a person who handles the body (the embalmer) in preparation for a funeral.  Often of course, these roles are combined, especially in smaller operations so for practical purposes, funeral director and mortician are generally interchangeable and the place a funeral director or mortician works is usually called either a funeral parlor or funeral home.  Although it would probably once have seemed a bizarre construction, there are also now funeral celebrants who officiate at ceremonies not (or only vaguely) connected with religious practice and are thus analogous to the civil celebrants who perform secular marriage ceremonies.  They're not directly connected with the school of thought which prefers to "celebrate a life" rather than "mourn a death" at a funeral, an approach which can be taken even in an overtly religious service. 

So it's largely a matter of how those within the profession prefer to style themselves and Funeral Director seems now the most popular choice although mortician remains widely used in the US.  Mirriam-Webster helpful suggests provides:

Funeral Director: A person whose job is to arrange and manage funerals.

Mortician: A person whose job is to prepare dead people to be buried and to arrange and manage funerals.

Undertaker: One whose business is to prepare the dead for burial and to arrange and manage funerals.

In the United Kingdom and some Commonwealth countries, a pauper's funeral was a funeral for a pauper paid for by the state, originally under the terms of the under the English Poor Law (last codified in 1834 but with legislative antecedents which stretched back centuries.  The common law right of the dead to a dignified burial was first recognized in England in R v Stewart, 12 AD. & E. 773 (1840) and was thus an early recognition of basic human rights.  The phrase "pauper's funeral" is now not widely used in formal discourse but apparently remains undertakers slang and, around the old British Empire, local authorities quietly conduct thousands of funerals a year.  Although not a "State Funeral" as defined, each is a funeral paid for by the state.

Top - Ceremonial funerals: Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) (left), Duke of Edinburgh (1921-2021) (centre) & Baroness Thatcher (1925-2013 (right).

Bottom - State Funerals: George V (1865-1936) (left), George VI (1895-1952) (centre) & Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965 (right). 

So, when Lord Salisbury (1893–1972) was asked by one of Winston Churchill’s (1874-1965; UK prime-minister 1940-1945 & 1951-1955) private secretaries what a State Funeral was, in answering “A funeral paid for by the state” he was only partly correct, a State Funeral in the UK requiring uniquely the consent of both houses of parliament: the Commons and the Lords Spiritual & Temporal.  In the UK, the state funeral has long been a rare thing and in recent years it’s become more exclusive still, Elizabeth II’s upcoming event only the sixth in the last hundred years of which two were not departed sovereigns, the last being Churchill’s in 1965.  The big, set piece, televised events which look like State Funerals such as those of the Queen Mother (1900-2002 and Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) were styled as “ceremonial funerals” and over the same period there have been eight of these.  There has been speculation about the form Elizabeth’s funeral (operation "London Bridge", planned since 1962) will take, some suggesting it will, befitting the end of an era, be a glittering, elaborate spectacle which will contrast with the later coronation of Charles III, that expected to be something simpler than the last in 1953, reflecting the changed times.  It's not known how many people, over the years, have been involved in planning "London Bridge" but as a comparison, some sources claim 277 souls were on the committee which designed the State Funeral of Kim Il-sung (Kim I, 1912-1994; The Great Leader of the DPRK (North Korea (1948-1994)).  

Not all jurisdictions treat them as such rarified events.  While governments have different rules for state funerals, few show the largess of the Australian states which grant them to well-behaved pop singers and reasonably successful football coaches though, being obviously symbolic, they serve many purposes: both Adolf Hitler (1889-1945, Nazi head of government 1933-1945 & head of state 1934-1945) and Comrade Stalin (1878–1953; Soviet leader 1922-1953) attended (as chief mourner) a number of state funerals where the deceased had been murdered on their orders.

Mormon Funeral Potatoes

Although often called Mormon Funeral potatoes (although the same general recipe also produces great potatoes, cheesy potatoes, hash brown casserole, cheesy hash browns & party potatoes), the unusual combination of potatoes and toppings is popular beyond Utah as a traditional potato hotdish or casserole in the US West and Midwest.  The name "funeral potatoes" comes from the frequency with which the side-dish is served at funerals where it's popular not only because of tradition but the ease with which it can be transported and re-heated.  It remains a standard component of funerals conducted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons).  Although there are variations, the recipe usually includes hash browns or cubed potatoes, some type of cheese, onions, a cream soup (chicken, mushroom, or celery) or sauce, sour cream, and a topping of butter with corn flakes or (latterly) crushed potato chips.

Preparation time: 10 minutes

Cooking time: 50-55 minutes

Serving time: 10 minutes

Ingredients

20 oz frozen hash browns, slightly defrosted
2 cups of a cheese which melts well (cheddar, mozzarella etc)
1.5 cup of sour cream
1 can of cream soup (alternatively use 1 cup of stock concentrate and increase sour cream to 2 cups)
8 tablespoons of butter, melted
1 cup of corn flakes
1 cup of fried onions
Salt, pepper to taste

Instructions

(1) Pre-heat oven to 330^o F (165^o C) and butter baking tray.

(2) In large bowl, thoroughly mix hash browns, sour cream, chicken soup, dried onion, butter, salt and pepper and cheese.

(3) Put mixture in baking tray, spreading to an even depth.

(4) Evenly sprinkle cornflakes on top by gently crushing them.

(5) Bake for 50-55 minutes.  Allow to cool down for 10 minutes before serving.

The Machete funeral hearse

Lindsay Lohan in habit, emerging from hearse in Machete (2010).  The Machete hearse was based on a 1987 Cadillac Brougham (1987-1992).

Between 1931-1979, General Motors' Cadillac division offered a line called the Cadillac Commercial Chassis, a long-wheelbase, heavy-duty platform which was mechanically complete but with a partially built body (without bodywork rear of the windscreen, doors and other panels included on request).  Produced on the D platform (exclusive to Cadillac), the Commercial Chassis was used by coach-builders to create high-roofed ambulances, hearses (often called funeral coaches in the US) and cleverly designed hybrids which at short notice could be converted from ambulances to hearses or used by a coroner's staff to transport a corpse; they were popular in towns with small populations.  The early Commercial Chassis were based on the Series 355 (1931-1935) and the Series 75 (1936-1992) from 1936 and although there were specific modification to the frame, the mechanical components were always shared with the 75 which, used for the big limousines, meant costs were amortized across the ranges.  After 1980, production continued on the downsized platform but there was no longer a separate D platform, the partially bodied cars structurally identical to the mainstream line.  The landau irons (which some coachbuilders insist should be called "carriage bars") on the rear side-panels emulate in style (though not function) those used on horse-drawn carriages and early automobiles (the last probably the Mercedes-Benz 300 (the “Adenauer”; W186 (1951-1957) & W189 (1957-1962)) Cabriolet D).  On those vehicles, the irons actually supported the folding mechanism for the fabric roof but on hearses they are merely decorative, there to relieve the slab-sidedness of the expanse of flat metal.

Squoval

Squoval (pronounced sqwoh-vuhl)

(1) In cosmetology, a description applied mostly to describe the shape of certain fingernails and faces; essentially an oblong (a rectangle with partially ovoid shorter sides).

(2) In commerce, a trademark of the bicycle company Cervélo, describing the cross sectional shape of the downtube used in frame construction.

1984: A portmanteau word, sq(uare)- + oval.  Square was from the Middle English square, sqware & squyre from the Old French esquarre & esquerre, (which survives in modern French as équerre), from the Vulgar Latin exquadra, derived from the Latin quadro, from quadrus (square), from quattuor (four).  Oval was from the Late Latin ovalis, from ovum (egg); it was cognate with the French and Italian ovale and the Dutch ovaal.  Used both as noun and adjective, coinage is credited to Paula Gilmore, a noted manicurist (nail technician) and owner of Tips Nail Salon in San Mateo, California.  Squoval is a noun & verb, squovaled & squovaled are verbs and squovallike is an adjective; the noun plural is squovals.

Art of the fingernail

A pleasing creation, sqoval is misleading because it’s used to reference a shape which is actually a rectangle with the shorter sides defined by curves which tend to the semi-circular.  In geometry, such a shape is called a stadium, discorectangle or an obround.  It’s not to be confused with a square with rounded corners which, despite frequent use, is neither a "quartic" nor a "sqound".  A quartic is “an algebraic equation or function of the fourth degree or a curve describing such an equation or function” and sqound (a portmanteau word, the construct being sq(uare) + (r)ound is the ultimate niche word, the only known use by collectors of C4 Chevrolet Corvettes (1984-1996) describing the shift in 1990 from round to "square with rounded corners" taillights.  Mathematicians insist the correct word for a "square with rounded corners" is "squircle" (in algebraic geometry "a closed quartic curve having properties intermediate between those of a square and a circle").  The construct of squircle is squ(are) +c(ircle).  Few etymologists (and certainly no lexicographers) appear to have listed sqound as a "real" word but it's of interest because it's a rare example of a word where a "q" is not followed by a "u"; such constructs do exist but usually in the cases where initialisms have become acronyms such as Qantas (Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services).  Such words do appear in English language texts but they tend to be foreign borrowings including (1) qat (or khat) (a plant native to East Africa and the Arabian Peninsula, often chewed for its stimulant effects, (2) qi (a term from Chinese philosophy referring to life force or energy), qibla (the direction Muslims face when praying, towards the Kaaba in Mecca and (4) qiviut (the soft under-wool of the musk-ox, valued when making warm clothing).  

Squoval is thus a commercial descriptor in the fingernail business rather than a precise geometric description.  The basic rectangle metaphor is important in fingernail shaping because manicurists borrow from art and architecture the golden ratio which suggests humans find most aesthetically pleasing, shapes with an aspect ratio of about 1.6:1 which, coincidentally, is the relationship between a kilometre and a mile.  Nails can be shaped beyond the nominally perfect 1.6:1 but tend either to be thought exaggerated or created purely for artistic display, often to create a large surface for designs.  Manicurists, certainly in the Instagram age, are an imaginative profession and there’s been a proliferation of terms to describe species.  However, within the fingernail family, there are eight basic genera, practitioners inventing or classifying species as they emerge.  To date, the lipstick is the only widely-used form which is asymmetric.

The classic oval is said to be a symmetrical ellipse where the curve of the tip exactly mirrors the curve of the cuticle but, in real-world conditions, the former usually only tends to the latter.  The shape is natural, flattering and adaptable to both long and short nails.

Long coffins.

A natural coffin demands long nails with the fragility that implies.  The nail needs to be sufficiently long so both sides can be filed to a tapered point something like a stiletto before the tip is squared-off.  Because of that, they’re often constructed with acrylics.  Coffin in this context is actually a modern appropriation to describe what was historically known as the ballerina, a descriptor some European fashion houses still prefer but the Instagram generation has moved on and like coffin.  Coffins are rare worn in the elongated form.

Square nails provide a shape which is less susceptible to damage than many but doesn’t suit all shapes.  It’s best adopted by those with a narrow nail bed because the flat tip creates an optical illusion of additional width, making nails appear wider than they are.  Rarely seen variations include the cut out (a twin-peaked effect), the lipstick (uniquely, with an asymmetric tip) and the trapeze or flare (where the metaphor is the bell-bottom trouser leg).

A statement shape, something of a triumph of style over functionally, the stiletto gains its dramatic effect from long and slender lines and can be shaped with either fully-tapered or partially square sides.  They’re vulnerable to damage, breaking when subjected to even slight impacts and almost never possible with natural growth.  True obsessives insist they should be worn only with stiletto heels and then only if the colors exactly match.

Squovals in Dior 999.

With straight sides and a curved top, the squoval, while not as dramatic as a coffin, is good, functional engineering because its softer edges are less prone to snagging and tearing than those of a square and break less the more more delicate almonds.  Technically, the squoval is just a species of the square but its popularity meant it came to be classified as its own genus.

Usually very long, the almond has an elongated shape and a tapered tip.  Even when applied to nails with a narrow bed, they’re inherently weak at the tip so most are constructed from acrylics.  It’s a style which attracts many variations on the theme, often tending to a truer emulation of the nut at which point some should probably be classified as pointed.

Realistically, pointed nails, certainly in their more extreme iterations (sometimes called mountain peaks, edges, arrow-heads, claws or talons), are more for short-term effect than anything permanent.  Best used with acrylics, the knife-like style can be a danger to the nail itself and any nearby skin or stockings.  Those contemplating intimacy with a women packing these should first ponder the implications.

Lindsay Lohan with rounds, 2006

Rounds are less a style than a detailing of the natural human shape.  Usually worn short and simple and rarely needing an acrylic overlay, it’s a classic look with the added benefit of durability and low maintenance.

Salad

Salad (pronounced sal-uhd)

(1) A usually cold (a few are “warm”) dish consisting of vegetables, as lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers, covered with a dressing and sometimes containing fruit, seafood, meat eggs or other additions; any of various dishes consisting of foods, as meat, seafood, eggs, pasta, or fruit, prepared singly or combined, usually cut up, mixed with a dressing, and served cold (often with a modifier: Caesar salad, Niçoise salad, pasta salad, Greek salad, Thai salad, tossed salad, chicken salad, potato salad, fruit salad etc).

(2) Any herb or green vegetable, as lettuce, used for salads or eaten raw.

(3) Figuratively, a mixture or assortment of people or things, similar or disparate.

1350–1400: From the Middle English salade & salad (raw herbs cut up and variously dressed), from the Old & Middle French salade, from the Old Provençal salada, from salar (to season with salt), from the Northern Italian salada & salata, from the Vulgar Latin salāta (literally "salted" and short for herba salata), from salāre, the feminine past participle of salāre (to salt (in Antiquity, the Romans seasoned vegetables with brine or salty oil-and-vinegar dressings)), the construct being sal- (genitive salis; stem of sāl (salt)) + -āta- (added to nouns to form adjectives and akin to –ate).  The suffix -ate was a word-forming element used in forming nouns from Latin words ending in -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as estate, primate & senate).  Those that came to English via French often began with -at, but an -e was added in the fifteenth century or later to indicate the long vowel.  It can also mark adjectives formed from Latin perfect passive participle suffixes of first conjugation verbs -ātus, -āta, & -ātum (such as desolate, moderate & separate).  Again, often they were adopted in Middle English with an –at suffix, the -e appended after circa 1400; a doublet of –ee.  Salad’s alternative spelling between the sixteenth & nineteenth centuries was sallet.  Salad is a noun: the noun plural is salads.

In Europe, the Dutch salade, the German Salat, the Swedish salat and the Russian salat are from Romanic languages.  The early use was exclusively of herbs and vegetables but came later to be extended to dishes including meat chopped and mixed with uncooked herbs and variously seasoned, the point being that the meat was an addition to a concoction predominately of vegetables.  As a reference to the raw herbs and vegetables themselves, in the US by the early nineteenth century most had limited the application of “salad” to lettuce while all else were “greens” although, except in the South, “salad” has in recent years crept back.  Salad oil "olive oil used for dressing salads" was known by the 1550s and the salad fork was listed for sale as early as 1808.  The salad bar was an invention of US English, attested by 1940.

The idiomatic salad days is a rarely used phrase that survives because William Shakespeare (1654-1616) used it once in all that he wrote and it’s used exclusively in the plural; nobody has ever had a “salad day”.  It’s presumed usually to convey a sense of youthful innocence enthusiasm and idealism associated with inexperience and is sometimes confused with “halcyon days” which actually summons the idea of a time of calm, a nostalgic idealizing of a past.  Not all however thought something worth repeating just because it came from the bard's quill.  The unforgiving Henry Fowler (1858-1933) thought salad days just a cliché and even doubted the accepted meaning.  In Modern English Usage (1926) he though youth, like salad might variously be thought (1) green & raw, (2) prone to a preference for highly flavored tastes or (3) innocent as a herb unlike corrupted meat.  Even for the old curmudgeon that seems a stretch but his point was that few who used the phase properly understood its meaning and it was thus “fitter for parrots than for human speech”.

Salad days was spoken by Cleopatra in Act 1, Scene 5 of Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra (circa 1607).

CHARMIAN The valiant Caesar!

CLEOPATRA By Isis, I will give thee bloody teeth

If thou with Caesar paragon again

My man of men.

CHARMIAN By your most gracious pardon,

I sing but after you.

CLEOPATRA My salad days,

When I was green in judgment, cold in blood,

To say as I said then. But come, away,

Get me ink and paper.

He shall have every day a several greeting,

Or I’ll unpeople Egypt.

Having spoken longingly of Antony. Cleopatra doesn’t like it mentioned that once she spoke of her lover Caesar with the same ecstasy and when reminded they were her own words, Cleopatra concedes the point but puts it down to the rash impetuosity of youth, salad days when she was “green in judgment, cold in blood”.  The convention explanation of salad days as Shakespeare’s device is that the Cleopatra used the image of the salad (green and cold) as something served before the richer, more substantial, hot main course, making the point it was youthful inexperience which made her idealize her affair with Caesar.  It was the passionate Antony who made her blood boil.  Shakespeare never returned to the phrase but had earlier used “green” in the same sense.  In Hamlet (circa 1601), when Ophelia is speaking to her father Polonius, about her troubled relationship with Hamlet, he says “You speak like a green girl; Unsifted in such perilous circumstances.”

Others liked it though.  Although Bonjour Tristesse (Hello Sadness (1954)) tended to overshadow the later work of French novelist Francoise Sagan (1935-2004), her Salad Days (1980) is especially admired in English translation and one of the century’s better evocations of the well-worn tale of star-cross’d lovers.  Quite how many cook books, entertaining guides and such have been titled “Salad Days” (there have also been not a few “Salad Daze”) is not known but it’s many.  When Elizabeth II (1926-2022; Queen of England and other places variously 1952-2022) delivered a Silver Jubilee Royal Address (1977), she reiterated the vow to God and her people she gave in her twenty-first birthday broadcast (1947), adding: “Although that vow was made in my salad days, when I was green in judgment”, it still held.  Her conclusion was different from Shakespeare’s Cleopatra whose feelings had changed since those salad days.  Elizabeth II never wavered.

In the aftermath of her death, the words she spoke in those salad days were widely and admiringly quoted: 

"I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong."

There were however historians who, in their capacity as public psychologists, noted that few thought to trouble the people of 2022 with her concluding remarks:

"But I shall not have strength to carry out this resolution alone unless you join in it with me, as I now invite you to do: I know that your support will be unfailingly given. God help me to make good my vow, and God bless all of you who are willing to share in it."

Egg & Potato Salad

Ingredients

6 large Dutch cream(or Desiree) potatoes, cut into 50 mm (2 inch) cubes

6 eggs, at room temperature

250 grams crème fraîche

200 grams mayonnaise

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

70 grams salted baby capers, rinsed and drained

100 grams cornichons, thinly sliced

2 golden shallots, thinly sliced

To garnish: some flat-leaf parsley, torn

Instructions

(1) Cook potatoes in boiling salted water until tender (10-15 minutes), then drain and set aside to steam dry.

(2) While the potatoes are cooking, place eggs in a saucepan of salted boiling water and cook for 8 minutes (for medium-cooked yolks), then drain and transfer to iced water to stop cooking. Peel, quarter and set aside.

(3) Combine remaining ingredients in a bowl and season to taste. Add potato and gently mix to coat well, then transfer to a platter, top with eggs, scatter with parsley, season with black pepper and serve.

Restaurant

Restaurant (pronounced res-ter-uhnt (non-U), res-tuh-rahnt (non-U) or res-trahnt (U))

A commercial establishment where meals are prepared and served to customers.

1821: An invention of American English from the French restaurant, originally "food that restores", noun use of present participle of the verb restaurer (to restore or refresh) from the Old French restorer.  The French verb restaurer corresponded to the Latin restaurans & restaurantis, present participle of restauro (I restore), (the more familiar form in Latin being restaurāre (to restore)) from the name of the “restorative soup” served in the first establishments.  The term restaurant to describe the “restorative soup” was defined in 1507 as a "restorative beverage" and in correspondence in 1521 to mean "that which restores the strength, a fortifying food or remedy".  One who runs a restaurant is called a restaurateur; the Italian spelling ristorante was attested in English by 1925.

Modern capitalism has a proliferation of terms to describe variations of the restaurant, some ancient, some recent creations; they include bar, diner, joint, inn, outlet, saloon, cafeteria, grill, hideaway, dive, canteen, lunchroom, chophouse, eatery, pizzeria, drive-in and luncheonette.  The restaurant, in the sense now understood as a place where the public come to sit at tables and chairs and order food from a menu and are served their choices by a waiter is relatively new in culinary history, not emerging until the late eighteenth century.

One interesting (and specific) use of restaurant is to refer to hospitals.  Those who essentially starve themselves for professional reasons (models, ballerinas and others), not infrequently faint, officially "from exhaustion" but actually from their malnourished state.  Sometimes this means they get to go to "the restaurant" (hospital) where as well as relaxing, they can enjoy iv fluids and thus gain the necessary nutrition without having to eat a thing.

Origins

Lindsay Lohan in leather, arriving at Bobby Flay’s New York restaurant Gato, 2014.

Although all or some of the “official” history may be apocryphal, the story is that in 1765, a Monsieur Boulanger, (also known as Champ d'Oiseaux or Chantoiseau) opened his shop in Paris near the Louvre on either the rue des Poulies or the rue Bailleul (the history is unclear).  There he sold restaurants (or bouillons restaurants), meat-based consommés which gained their name from their intended purpose to "restore" a person's strength.  The word restaurants, rich, thick broths or soups, had since medieval times been used to describe any of a variety of rich bouillons made with chicken, beef, roots, onions, herbs, and depending on the region and season, spices, sugar, toasted bread, barley, butter, and even exotic ingredients such as dried rose petals, Damascus grapes, and amber.  Monsieur Boulanger’s bouillons proved popular but he also had a flair for advertising, placing in his window a sign saying: Venite ad me omnes qui stomacho laboratis et ego vos restaurabo (Come to me all who suffer from pain of the stomach and I will restore you.), the play on words an allusion to both the restorative quality of his broths and, from scripture, Jesus' invitation found in Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Seeking to expand his customer base and increase revenue, he began serving roasted leg of lamb with white sauce, thereby infringing the monopoly of the caterers' guild.  While there had long been places where customers could be served a variety of food, Monsieur Boulanger’s establishment was the first where there was a formal, printed menu, a concept previously a preserve of the guild.  The guild filed suit, and to the surprise of the Parisian legal and culinary establishments, the courts ruled in favor of Boulanger and the restaurant (établissement de restaurateur), in its modern form, emerged from this decision.  Historians usually suggest the first “real restaurant" (in the modern understanding of the word) was La Grande Taverne de Londres in Paris, founded by Antoine Beauvilliers (1754-1817) in either 1782 or 1786, combing as it did the “four essentials” of fine dining: (1) an elegant room, (2) gourmet cooking, (3) a fine cellar and (4) professional waiters.

Epicure, Le Bristol Paris, 112 Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré, 75008 Paris, France.

Routine

Routine (pronounced roo-teen)

(1) A customary or regular course of procedure.

(2) Commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity.

(3) Regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.

(4) An unvarying and constantly repeated formula, as of speech or action; convenient or predictable response; in informal use something perfunctory or insincere; merely procedural.

(5) In computer programming, a complete set of coded instructions directing a computer to perform a series of operations; that series of operations (also as sub-routine (as part of a larger routine) & co-routine (run in conjunction) although few programmers use the hyphens).

(6) In entertainment, an individual act, performance, or part of a performance, as a song or dance, given regularly by an entertainer.

(7) Of the nature of, proceeding by, or adhering to routine.

(8) Dull or uninteresting; commonplace.

(9) One of the key concepts in ethnomethodology (a discipline in sociology focused on the methods groups use to create societal order) and related to routinization of authority, the process through which a charismatic authority becomes a bureaucracy

(10) As RAT (routine activity theory), a sub-field of criminology.

(11) In poker, as Royal Routine, an alternative name for the royal straight flush.

1670–1680: From the Middle English routine (customary course of action; more or less mechanical performance of certain acts or duties), from the sixteenth century French routine from the Middle French route (road, route), from the Old French route & rote (usual course of action, beaten path; a customary way), the construct being rout(e) + -ine (a diminutive suffix), from the Latin rupta (broken, ruptured, burst), perfect passive participle of rumpō, from the Proto-Italic rumpō (break, I break, I violate), from the primitive Indo-European Hrunépti & Hrumpénti (to break), from the root Hrewp-.  Routine is a noun & adjective, routineness, routinization & routiner are nouns, routinize is a verb and routinely is an adverb; the noun plural is routines.

Routine can be merely descriptive of something periodic or a construct and thus neutral or convey something negative in the sense in which the synonyms include conventional, everyday, ordinary, rut, humdrum, unremarkable, habitual, perfunctory & insincere.  In other European languages the descendants include the Catalan (rutina), Dutch (routine), Galician (rutina), Hungarian (rutin), Italian (routine), Portuguese (rotina), Spanish (rutina) & Turkish (rutin).  The rather unhappy noun of action routinization (a being or becoming routine; action of imposing a routine upon) was a creation of US English in 1916 as a development from the verb routinize (subject to a routine, make into a routine) which dates from 1893.  The adjectival sense "of a mechanical or unvaried character, habitually done in the same way" has been used since at least 1917 and was a direct development from the noun.  The now familiar theatrical or athletic performance sense of "carefully rehearsed sequence of actions" dates only from 1926.

In the context of the card game, the word poker is an adaptation of US English of uncertain origin and there’s no evidence of any relationship to other meanings.  Quite why the card game was so-named has attracted speculation but no documentary evidence has ever emerged.  It may be related to the German Pochspiel (a similar card game) from the German pochen (to brag as a bluff (literally "to knock, rap” (and thus the suggested link to the verb poke))) from the Middle High German bochen & puchen, from the Proto-Germanic puk-, which is probably imitative.  An alternative idea is that it was related to the French poquer from poque, (a similar card game and a move in pétanque (a form of boules (in the sense of the game, a shortening of the French jeu de boules)), a game played with metal bowls with origins in the south of France).  The earlier version of the game was in English called brag and the US form seems first to have been played in 1829 on the lower reaches of the Mississippi, presumably among riverboat gamblers and the location, with the French influences, does support some French connection in the etymology.  Interestingly, it appears the original form seems to have been played with a 20-card pack (10-J-Q-K-A) evenly dealt among four players; the full-deck version not played until the 1840s.

Lindsay Lohan's Royal Routine in The Parent Trap (1998)

The Royal Routine (more commonly known as the royal flush) is the least likely winning combination in five-card poker and cannot be beaten unless “agreed rules” are being played which includes an ascendency of suits; in that case, one Royal Routine can beat another, however unlikely such an occurrence may be.  Because in poker all suits are usually of equal value, most prefer to “split the pot” if, after a count-back, two or more hands are equal although rules for a variety of tie-break mechanisms have been defined.  In ascending order, the winning possibilities in poker are:

The Royal Routine (royal flush). The Ace down to the 10 in one suit.  Under standard poker rules, the odds against holding a Royal Routine are 649,739:1.

The straight flush: There are 40 different straight flush possibilities and the odds against are 72,192:1; although in a sense a Royal Routine is just another straight flush, it’s rarer because fewer cards are available for one to be assembled.

Four of a kind: Also called "quads", the odds against are 4,165:1.

Full house: Originally called the "full boat" (a hint of the game’s origins on the lower reaches of the Mississippi) 3744 different full house combinations are available and to players, few things are more annoying than having one’s full house beaten by another on a count-back.  The odds against are 4,165:1.

The flush: Any 5 cards of the same suit, non consecutive with the winning hand determined by the highest individual card held.  5148 different combinations of a flush are available and the odds against are 508.8019:1.

The straight: Originally known as the wheel (another allusion to the Mississippi, this one referencing the wheeled paddles of the ships which plied the route), any 5 consecutive ranked cards in multiple suits where the ace can be high or low (an ace high straight is also called the "broadway").  10240 different straight combinations are possible and the odds against are 253.8:1.

Three of a kind: In some circles called "the trips" or a "set", there are 54,912 different possibilities of 3 of a kind are available and the odds against are 46.32955:1

Two Pairs: There are 123,552 possible two pair combinations and it’s reputedly the game’s most over-bet hand; the odds against are 20.03535:1.

The pair: Any two cards of the same rank.  The odds against are 1.366477:1.

Card High:  The hand with the highest single card wins and there are over 2½ million winning combinations; the odds against are 0.9953015:1.

The Boeing B-29 Superfortress (one of the special Silverplate series) which dropped the one-off, uranium A-Bomb on Hiroshima on 6 August 1945 was named Enola Gay in honor of the mission commander’s mother (Enola Gay Tibbets (née Haggard).  Enola Gay is well known but on the Hiroshima mission were six other B-29s, two of which were named after poker hands (with scatologic graphics), reflecting the popularity of the game among the military.  The three reconnaissance planes which were tasked to report weather conditions over the possible target cities were Jabit III, Full House & Straight Flush; the mission reserve B-29 was Top Secret, Necessary Evil was the camera plane which photographed the bombing and The Great Artiste carried a scientific crew with monitoring equipment.  Poker was quite a thing then and when Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974) in 1945 returned from his South Pacific tour of duty it was with thousands of dollars in poker winnings, his history including one rare Royal Routine and a prize pot of US$1500 won with a bluff on a pair of twos.

Hysteria

Hysteria (pronounced hi-ster-ee-uh (U) or hi-steer-re-ah (non-U))

(1) In casual use, an uncontrollable outburst of emotion or fear, often characterized by irrationality, laughter, weeping, etc.

(2) In psychoanalysis, a psychoneurotic disorder characterized by violent emotional outbreaks, disturbances of sensory and motor functions, and various abnormal effects due to autosuggestion.

(3) In clinical psychiatry, conversion disorder.

(4) In (historic) clinical medicine, a mental disorder characterized by emotional excitability etc without an organic cause (archaic).

1795-1805: From the New Latin hysteria, from hysteric, from Classical Latin hystericus, from the Ancient Greek ὑστερικός (husterikós) (a suffering in the uterus, hysterical), from ὑστέρα (hustéra) (womb).  It’s from the same classical root that French gained hystérie and the long-archaic alternative English form is hysterick.  Now entirely obsolete as a medical term, hysteria is most often used as (1) a descriptor of someone behaving in an emotionally over-wrought way (with many feminist critics noting the loaded associations whether applied to men or women) or (2) in sociology and psychology (as mass hysteria) to describe a phenomenon that manifests as a collective illusion of fears in a whole or a sub-set of a population.  Like many terms that start with a non-silent h but have emphasis on their second syllable, some people precede hysteric with an, others with a.  Both practices are acceptable in modern English as long as use is consistent.  Hysteria & hystericalness are nouns, hysteric is a noun & adjective, hysterical is an adjective and hysterically is an adverb; the noun plural is hysterias, hysteriae or hysteriæ (the latter two rare even in the medical literature).  According to the trackers, the most common noun plural is hysterics.

Once exclusively female

For reasons both of linguistic and physiological determinism, until the nineteenth century it wasn’t possible for men to receive a diagnosis of hysteria, regardless of how hysterically they might have behaved.  Western medicine had long accepted the Ancient Greek belief hysteria was caused by a disturbance in the uterus and thus was exclusively a condition of women; an alternative description was uterine melancholy.  While drawn from the Greek hystera (uterus), the word is not ancient, the phrase in Greek medicine being hysterical suffocation.  The Greeks thought the uterus moved through the body, eventually strangling her and inducing disease, hence the tradition of centuries the disorder could exist only in women.  The mysterious tarassis was suggested as a name for male hysteria but is noted by only a few sources and then as either obscure or archaic although the Tarassis (male hysteria) mini-skirt is available from RedBubble as part number 31587934.

Jean Martin Charcot, Une leçon clinique à la Salpêtrière (A Clinical Lesson at the Salpêtrière, 1887), oil on canvas by André Brouillet (1857–1914), Paris Descartes University, Paris.

Jean-Martin Charcot (1825–1893) was a French neurologist and professor of anatomical pathology with a great interest in hysteria, most notably that exhibited by his patient Louise Augustine Gleizes (1861-1904), the woman who is the focus of this painting.  Professor Charcot was one of the seminal influences on early-modern neurology, psychology & psychiatry but his protocols for treating patients like Mademoiselle Gleizes would appal modern ethics committess.  First exhibited at the Salon of 1887 in the Louvre's Salon Carré, Brouillet's painting however is one of the most famous in the history of neurology so there's that. 

Lindsay Lohan, hysteria scene, The Canyons (2013).  Professor Charcot would have known what to do.

Late in the nineteenth century, Sigmund Freud's (1856-1939) early work with diagnosed hysterics was important in his development of psychoanalytic therapy, one patient ever calling the treatment a "talking cure" and within the profession it’s still known as “talk therapy”.  It wasn’t until 1980 the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) withdrew the word.  In the first edition of the DSM (DSM–I (1952)) the condition was named “conversion reaction” while, in DSM–II (1968), it was grouped with dissociation disorder under the new diagnostic category of “hysterical neurosis” although, later, conversion disorder was conceptualised as a disorder of the brain associated with disordered emotions.  The transition to a system that classified psychiatric disorders by clinical phenomenology rather than aetiology resulted in the elimination of “hysterical neurosis” from DSM–III (1980), supplanted by “dissociation  disorders” and “conversion disorders” with the latter separated from the former and listed as a “somatoform disorder”. Thus, since 1980, somatoform disorders and the dissociative disorders have been separate categories in the DSM (the changes generally reflected in the World Health Organization’s (WHO) International Classification of Diseases (ICD)), the nomenclature progressing thus:

1952 DSM–I: Conversion reaction

1968 DSM–II: Hysterical neurosis (conversion type)

1980 DSM–III: Conversion disorder

1992 ICD–10: Dissociative (conversion) disorder

1994 DSM–IV: Conversion disorder

2013 DSM-5: No substantive changes, confirming symptoms once labeled under the broad umbrella of hysteria would fit under what is now referred to as somatic symptom disorder.