Unguent

Unguent (pronounced uhng-gwuhnt)

(1) An ointment or salve, usually liquid or semi-liquid, for application to wounds, sores etc (mostly archaic except as a deliberate anachronism for literary or poetic purposes).

(2) Any ointment-like preparation for the skin, use largely restricted to the advertising of high-end cosmetic houses.

1400–1450: From the late Middle English unguent (ointment), from the Latin unguentum, an alteration (probably by association with the suffixes –men, -menta & -mentum (the Latin collective noun suffix)) of unguen (fat, grease) and a derivative of unguere (to anoint or smear with ointment), from the primitive Indo-European root hseng & ongw- (to salve, anoint), the source also of the Sanskrit anakti (anoints, smears), the Armenian aucanem (I anoint), the Old Prussian anctan (butter), the Old High German ancho, the German anke (butter), the Old Irish imb (butter) and the Welsh ymenyn (butter).  The alternative spelling onguent is extinct and technically, synonyms include balm, ointment, lotion, emollient, lubricant, cream & cerate but by virtue of use, the word is mostly obsolete except as a deliberate anachronism for literary or poetic purposes although it persists in the niche of expensive cosmetics where it functions to denote "expensive".  Unguent is a noun and unguentary is an adjective; the noun plural is unguents.

Peter Thomas Roth's Eye-Conic Eye Patches

Unguents can be peel-off:  Lindsay Lohan in May 2023 appeared in a campaign promoting the cult Eye-Conic Eye Patch patches by Peter Thomas Roth.  Actually (very) pregnant during filming, she wore the contoured hydra-gel patches for most of the clip, working-in lines from both Mean Girls (2004) and The Parent Trap (1998).

According to Ms Lohan, although over the years she’s tried “countless” unguents, those by Peter Thomas Roth have “become my staples” and helpfully, the three: (1) hydrating Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Eye Patches (targeting fine lines and under-eye darkness), (2) the rejuvenating Cucumber De-Tox Eye Patches (which help to smooth and de-puff) and (3) the luxe-feeling, skin-firming 24K Gold Pure Luxury Lift & Firm Eye Patches are color-coded.

Aldi's Lacura's Caviar skincare range

Aldi's Lacura Caviar skincare range is a another cult favorite and although among the more expensive of the unguents on sale in supermarkets, it's long attracted rave reviews and users frequently and favorably compare the Caviar products those offered by "prestige" brands costing sometimes literally a hundred-fold more.  Among the mafia-like cohorts of the Caviar cult, there are said to be WhatsApps groups passing on intelligence about which Aldi store has stock because frequently the range is unavailable and re-supply is said to be unpredictable.  If the usual rules of supply & demand are working, there may be a black market.

Unctuous

Unctuous (pronounced uhngk-choo-uhs)

(1) Characterized by excessive piousness or moralistic fervor, especially in an affected manner; excessively smooth, suave, or smug; one who affects an oily charm; profusely polite, especially unpleasantly so and insincerely earnest.

(2) Of the nature of or characteristic of an unguent or ointment; oily; greasy.

(3) In mining, a mineral having an oily or soapy feel.

(4) Of a liquid or substance, oily or greasy.

(5) Of food and beverage (applied typically to wine, coffee, sauce, gravy etc), rich, lush, intense, with layers of concentrated, soft, velvety flavor (a use with a positive association).

1350-1400: From the Middle English, from the Old French unctuous (oily, having a greasy or soapy feeling when touched), from the Medieval Latin ūnctuōsus (oily; greasy) from unctus (act of anointing), from the past participle stem of unguere (to anoint).  The most familiar form appears to have been unctum (ointment). The literal meanings endured for centuries and are still used today in specialist medical and geological texts but the figurative sense of "blandly ingratiating" dates from 1742, perhaps in part with a literal sense, but more in the sarcastic sense drawn from unction in the sense of "deep spiritual feeling" (a meaning in use since the 1690s, the idea of having been anointed in the rite of unction).  Unctuous has also been favored by food critics, comprising the sense of something pleasingly juicy with the more abstract notion of a food which seems “anxious to please”.  The spelling (as an adjective) unctious was used between circa 1600 and the 1720s.  Unctuous is an adjective, unctuousness & unctuosity are nouns, unctuously is an adverb; the  noun plural is unctuosities.  The form "ununctuous" (not unctuous) seems to be used (1) of food or substances and (2) of people usually unctuous not being so (those of the "kiss-up, kick-down" type said to switch between their "unctuous" & "ununctuous" modes depending on the dynamic of the power-relationship).  

Uriah Heep, very ’umble

Literature’s archetype of the unctuous is Charles Dickens' (1812–1870) Uriah Heep from the novel David Copperfield (1849-1850)  Heap is famous for his cloying humility, obsequiousness, insincerity and frequent references to his own "'umbleness"; his name has become synonymous with being a sycophant.  With plenty of time to contemplate the past while serving the twenty year sentence he was lucky to receive for war crimes and crimes against humanity, Albert Speer (1905–1981; Nazi court architect 1934-1942; Nazi minister of armaments and war production 1942-1945, recalling a former subordinate,  noted the type in his prison diaries Spandauer Tagebücher (Spandau: The Secret Diaries (1975)), musing it was the combination of fawning obedience and dynamism in its functionaries on which totalitarian states depended for their success.

Depiction of Uriah Heep by Frederick Barnard (1846–1896) and former speaker Peter Slipper.

The characteristics of grasping manipulation and insincerity render Uriah Heep a popular label for critics to use against politicians, somthing sometimes fair, sometimes not.  Robert Caro (b 1935) applied it to Lyndon Johnson (LBJ, 1908–1973; US president 1963-1969), Philip Roth (1933–2018) to Richard Nixon (1913-1994; US president 1969-1974), Tony Judt (1948-2010) to Philippe Pétain (1856-1951), Paddy McGuinness (1938-2008) to Paul Keating (b 1944; Prime Minister of Australia 1991-1996) and Conrad Russell (1937-2004) to Tony Blair (b 1953; UK prime-minister 1997-2007).

Some years ago, in Australia, many were taken by the resemblance of former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Peter Slipper (b 1950), to depictions of the Dickens character.  Since leaving parliament, Mr Slipper has been ordained Bishop of Australia by the Brazilian Catholic Apostolic Church (Igreja Católica Apostólica Brasileira (ICAB)), the latest appointment in his ecclesiastical career.  Mr Slipper qualified as a lawyer and as far as is known he has never received any formal theological training but in 2008 he was ordained as a priest of the Anglican Catholic Church in Australia, a part of the Traditional Anglican Communion (TAC) one of a number of schismatic forks of the Anglican communion which emerged after the 1968 Lambeth Conference when issues to do with sex first began to dominate the church.  Later, he would become chancellor (and subsequently vicar-general) of the Church of Torres Strait (CTS) another member of the TAC.  The final step in his denomination journey seems to date from 2016 when, in Brazil, he was ordained as a deacon and priest of the ICAB.  In 2018, Bishop Slipper was accredited by the Department of Foreign Affairs & Trade (DFAT) as Brazil’s honorary consul in the state of Tasmania.

The original gatefold sleeve for the Uriah Heep album ...Very 'Eavy ...Very 'Umble  (1970).

Formed in 1969, Uriah Heep was one of a number of English rock bands of the era which produced the templates which would come to define genres like “heavy metal” and “hard rock”.  Their contemporaries included Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin but unlike them, Uriah Heep gained little critical acceptance, many reviews often in the vein of Rod Stewart’s (b 1945) critique of Grand Funk Railroad, in many ways their US counterpart: “Loud white noise”.  Despite that, more than fifty years on, Uriah Heep remain active, releasing material and still performing live.  Few would describe their sound being any way unctuous.